Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?
Here's an idea.
Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.
I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.
Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,
"What are some things all moms say?"
"I'll go first..."
"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
lame_excuses
Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.
"We have fun."
"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."
"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."
"We have fun."
Louis_Louise
I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
"When you lose something."
- Have you tried looking for it?
- Have you looked everywhere?
- Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
Mahaloth
George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
VanderlyleNovember
Every.
Single.
Time.
"I have eyes..."
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"
vkyklynn
I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.
"I had some friends over..."
"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
"Worked every time."
jcpmojo
You both clearly planned this!
"When at the billing counter..."
"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"
AlertMongoose2021
This is my mother.
Oh God.
How many times have I dealt with this?!
"It's because..."
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."
beautifullydamaged_
BUT I DO!!
FILTHY LIES!!!
"If you have siblings..."
"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."
Trex_N_Truex
Good thing my family was small!
"My Mum used to use it all the time..."
"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"
"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."
zerbey
It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!
Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.
Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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People Break Down What Absolutely Ruins A Good Burger For Them
Most people love a good burger, and many, many American restaurants serve them, but not all burgers are created equal.
Super tall burgers that are hard to eat, way too much sauce (or only a tiny bit of sauce on the middle of the bun), soggy lettuce — there are lots of ways to ruin a burger.
Redditor TheKeyMaster365 asked:
"What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?"
Bad Tomatoes
"Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato"
- EccentricEngineer
"Tomato can be okay if you're eating it right now but tomato on it togo burger or sandwich almost always makes the bread soggy."
- sploittastic
"I don't object to the taste of tomato in a burger, but I despise the actual tomatoes themselves. They're too slippery, so they always end up squeezing out and, somehow, falling on anything except the plate."
- AmazingSpacePelican
"When the tomato has that hard area in the middle (the core I guess?). Gross."
- breadfan1988
Lack of Structural Integrity
"Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce."
- IAmStevie420
"Too much sauce can make the bun disintegrate and it becomes a soggy mess."
- caligaris_cabinet
"You’ve identified an important problem but I’m not sure about the effectiveness of the proposed solution"
- aspannerdarkly
Too Much Sauce
"I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I'm not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much."
"Also tall burgers. The two also go together to make an awful burger experience"
- krispyboiz
"If I have to wipe/clean my hands after every bite, it is an unpleasant experience."
- meatpipeline
"I hate it when the first bite launches a glob of sauce out the other end."
- Mataraiki
"I feel the same way and thought I was in the minority. If I pick up a burger, take a bite, and immediately need 4-5 napkins, it's not worth it."
- CrochetyNurse
Old Lettuce
"Watery old lettuce. One time I got a burger with terrible lettuce.. it tasted like it came straight out of a lake.. from then I avoid that place saying 'they have lake lettuce.'"
- heckpants
"Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can't get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu and you can't just take it off because the wateriness has already soaked into everything else."
- fraud_imposter
Hard-boiled Egg
"I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, 'egg.' I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts. No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible - what self-respecting chef would serve that?"
- jokinglyserious1
"Filing this under 'things that feel illegal'"
- theonelittledid
"As someone in the industry, a breakfast lover, and a burger lover, this is honestly one of the most offensive things I've seen on reddit."
- Starscream5
Runaway Patty
"When the patty slips out the other side."
- F35LTNG
"This is a corollary to the massive height complaint. Make a burger wide, not tall, and it won't slip out."
- soulcaptain
"PSA: The toothpick on top of your burger is not for decoration, but they are a functional tool to prevent the contents to fall out."
- moxedana02
Humans Can't Unhinge Their Jaws
"Being too big to fit in your mouth. Pointless. Might as well just throw it all on a plate, and call it 'deconstructed burger'"
- gallows4p0werm0ds
"Yeah, make burgers wider not taller."
- PPLifter
"If I gotta unhinge my jaw like a snake to eat something, I'm not ordering it. It's incredibly annoying and a lot of work. A burger should be a hand held food. If I need a knife and fork, what's the point?"
- megaloduh
"I’ve had a few burgers in my time where I have actually just taken it apart and put it on my plate to slowly eat. It is frustrating."
- TL3490
Soggy Buns
"Wet untoasted bun"
- Ruminations0
"Nothing worse than taking a bite of a soggy bun. Also the reason why I don’t like tomatoes in my burger"
- Pelagius_Hipbone
"Looking at you, Five Guys. $20 burger and it's not even toasted. They tell me it is, but why is it a soggy mess only a couple minutes after it was made?"
"Untoasted bread is acceptable, just a matter of choice. Now, a burger where bread is all soggy because there's tomato or wet lettuce touching it is almost a negligence by the person who made it."
- HYPERNOVA3_
Too Much Conversation
"People that want to talk while I'm eating a burger."
- BlowFrog303
"And then gets mad when you don't respond... Like can't you see I'm chewing?!.."
- IdkTheMeaningOfLife
"I have a mate who, whenever we go for a burger, all of a sudden feels the need to start asking me all these questions about my personal life as soon as I start eating:"
"'What your dad up to at the moment?'"
"'Have you been to your brother's house lately?'"
"'What sort of stuff has your mum been doing since she retired?'"
"'Is your brother still in touch with his ex?'"
"I'm one of those people who sort of gets into a zone while eating so firing a load of questions at me very much kills the 'vibe' I'm on!"
- thisishardcore_
My Wallet Hurts
"When they cost $20+"
- cuttingwoodisfun
"Yeah, I’m fine paying $20 if it’s something good. Bison burger for $18? F*ck yeah! Even just something like local grass fed beef. F*ck yeah!"
- UnbrandedContent
"I went to a burger place by me once, got a burger, loaded fries, and one beer. It wasn’t a sit down place, you order at the counter like it’s fast food but they give you a number to take and they bring your food to the table."
"It was $40. There’s a reason I only went once, and the burger was good but not $40 good."
- Old-Sor
"That does certainly make a burger, no matter how delicious, unappetizing 😵💫"
- TheKeyMaster365
Burgers Are Supposed To Be Boneless
"Bits of bone! I regularly bite down on these at Camino. I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt and tried again multiple times but I haven’t been back in a while because of it."
"This a the real answer. A chunk of bone will ruin your trust in burgers for a very long time."
- HubertFiorentini
"Wow! This brought back some repressed trauma. I bit into a burger over 20 years ago, and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack. That tooth later became impacted and lead to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot."
- rejectedstone
Why Is There So Much Bread?
"A dry bun or too much bun."
- mazlux
"100% … Bun to meat to topping ratio is paramount."
- djdaddyb
"Brioche. Brioche is a terrible choice for a burger bun and I don't understand why everyone is using it these days. Brioche is basically bread make with low-protein flour and lots of eggs."
"Also known as: CAKE, just drier and without any of the chew and texture of a properly made bread roll. Brioche sucks ass and that trend needs to die."
- RockleyBob
Cheese Should Be Melty
"Unmelted cheese - imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit a f*cking ice block."
- miraclechu
"this is why I dislike cheeseburgers. I avoid cheese on mine. and people think I’m f*cking weird."
- Synner40
Unwanted Toppings
"Pickles when I asked for no pickles."
- FrumundaMabawls
"And you can’t just pick em off. The whole fu*kin burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it."
- pyroboy101
"Same thing with mustard. No ... you can't just scrape it off."
- Beard_o_Bees
Making a good burger doesn't seem like it would be very hard, but there's a lot of ways things can go very wrong.
Now it's your turn. What absolutely ruins a burger for you? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all had experiences which left us sad or despondent.
A friend moving away, the loss of a pet, missing out on a promotion.
While these experiences often result in our feeling the need to drown out our feelings in some capacity, we know deep down that we'll eventually bounce back.
Some experiences, however, take a bit longer to recover from, if we manage to recover from them at all.
The sort of experiences which, for lack of a better term, break us.
"What’s something that mentally and/or emotionally broke you?"
The Death Of A Spouse
"My wife's death."
"We both knew her cancer was terminal from the beginning, and I had seven years to make my peace with that."
"As the end neared, I assured everyone I'd be fine."
"Despite all that, seeing her stop breathing was a total shock to me."
"And I even knew she'd die that very night."
"When you've been with dying people, you can tell when it's their last day."
"It's been six years, and I'm still grieving her."- jefuchs
A Child With Substance Abuse Problems
"My oldest son became addicted to opioids and ODed in our home 4 times."
"The first time our youngest found him from the death rattle sounds. I'll never forget giving him CPR."
"I'll never forget an OD that put him in the ICU, non responsive with a breathing tube due to heart atrophy."
"He is 2 years now sober with clinic MAT help and his own tenacity."
"We are all scarred for his time in active addiction but time is letting this wound heal."- level 1pnutbutta4me
Death Of A Grandparent
"I could honestly give a lot of things that have f*cked me up, but I’ve bounced back from most of them."
"The one thing that broke me entirely last year was the death of my grandfather."
"He’d had a stroke around April 2021."
"April 1st, 2022 he had to be rushed to the hospital."
"I dropped everything to go see him."
"I’d been pretty close with him growing up."
"My grandparents raised me and my sister and he and I used to go to Gettysburg together a lot."
"He was in the hospital all of April, with declining health."
"We would visit all the time."
"He developed sepsis, and we wanted to move him to hospice, but by the end of the month even moving him would probably kill him."
"April 28th, it was my first week at a new job and my aunt texted that we should all hurry over to the hospital because they didn’t think there was much time."
"I left work and stayed at the hospital with my family all day."
"The nurses let us break Covid protocol and all stay in the room as long as we were quiet."
"We all had gowns, masks, and gloves anyway because he had sepsis."
"At that point, he was practically in a coma."
"We thought he would pass that day but he didn’t, and when it came time for me to leave I knew it would be the last time I’d see him alive."
"I sobbed so much I almost threw up, and it was almost impossible to drag me out."
"The next day, he was gone."
"The following week was the funeral and viewing."
"The viewing broke me too."
"I cried so much those days, especially when we had to close the casket for the funeral."
"We all left little things for him to be buried with."
"Cherry chapstick, Guinness, and a little alligator plush I’d brought."
"I have the matching one."
"He always used to say, 'See you later, alligator' and I would say, 'After a while crocodile'.”
"So now I always tell him 'See you later, alligator' at his grave, as that’s what I told him before he died, and before they buried him."
"April 29th this year will mark the first full year he’s been gone."
"I’ve never handled death well, so it still hurts a lot."
"But he was in so much pain, and I know he went peacefully and he’s not suffering anymore."
"He believed in Heaven, and that’s where I hope he is."- Appropriate-Fox2381
Death Of A Parent
"Hearing my mom ask if it was going to hurt to die."
"Few mins later she took her last breath."
"Squeezed my hand and a slow release."
"Am I okay?"
"Nah."
"A year and a half later I’m still not."- Mysterious_Window575
"I was in therapy and was nervous about my child’s upcoming birthday party because of serious anxiety issues."
"She told me to imagine the worst thing happening and when the party is over I would realize everything was ok."
"Day of birthday party I received an out of state call from a coroner."
"My mom was found dead in her apartment."
"An investigation occurred but it was determined she had a diabetic episode, hit her head on the kitchen counter, bled out and died."
"An hour later my friend arrived, hysterically crying indicating she just got a call HER mom died."
"I was numb and broken."
"Life has never been the same since."- EverywhereINowhere
Finding Someone Died
"When I found my fiancé dead on the ground after I came home from work."
"I was 22 at the time and it broke me in all the ways."- caramelcoldbrew·
"Finding my twin brother dead."- No-Contribution-469
Illness In The Family
"Having a mother with schizophrenia."
"Such a tough illness for someone to experience, and tough on a family."- Eeahsnp18
When The Child Becomes The Parent
"Filing my dad's bankruptcy, getting him diagnosed for early onset alzheimer's/dementia, and being his primary caregiver."
"It completely reverses the father/son role in a way I was not prepared for."
"Better now, but still is heartbreaking."- Snoogles150
Misdiagnosis
"I was misdiagnosed for 2 years."
"Told I had anorexia when really I had Crohn's disease."
"It got to the point where my bowel ruptured and I was very, very close to death."
"2 years of being told this very, VERY physical pain was all in my head has caused endless knock on affects."
"I remember just laying there as the paramedics couldn't find much of a pulse and thinking 'I'm dying but at least I was right' which is all kinds of f*cked up."- goosedrinkwine369
Love Cut Short
"My fiancée died the day after we got engaged."
"She was fine, then sick, then gone in less than 24 hours."
"She died of meningitis."
"We spent an awesome day together while she was back in town from college and I asked her that afternoon."
"Later, she said her legs were going numb and her back hurt."
"We went to the hospital because they had just had a whole presentation about the symptoms of meningitis at her school."
"The doctor did some tests and said everything was negative l, so they sent us home."
"We went to bed thinking everything would be fine."
"I woke up sometime around 2am and looked at her."
"She was covered in sweat and turning blue so I picked her up and carried her to the car."
"We hauled @ss back to the ER, but she stopped breathing before we got there and didn’t regain consciousness again."
"At least I was holding her hand the whole way."
"The doctor did say they got her heart started a couple of times, but all of her organs failed, and her body completely shut down so they had to call it."
"Later, they asked if I wanted the ring."
"But they said they had to cut it off because her body had swollen so much."
"I told them to keep it because I wouldn’t have been able to handle what it meant if it was in one piece."
"I’m as alright as I get."
"Lately I’ve been thinking about our first days more than the last one."
"It’s hard to tell if that makes it better or worse, though."
"Relationships are hard."
"Anytime things get too good; there’s a compulsion to pull away for self-preservation."
"There’s no making it through of another round of that."-
fronkenstoon·
Some experiences are so painful that the very thought of moving on seems impossible.
Next time you find yourself struggling to get out of bed, however, always know that even if you have trouble finding the words, there are always people eager and willing to listen.
Flirting is always a delicate balance.
While an obvious way to get someone's attention, and let them know they find them attractive and (hopefully), are interested in dating them, it's not always appreciated.
As some people find flirting to be little more than thinly veiled sexual harassment, particularly when intentions are less than honorable.
Flirting is an even more dangerous game when in the office.
While some people flirt with colleagues for little more than harmless fun, others take flirting in the workspace much more seriously.
Whether they're the ones doing the flirting, or the ones being flirted to.
"What's your opinion on flirting with / hitting on co-workers at work?"
Avoid In Office... Free Reign Outside
"I dated a coworker."
"We were not flirty or anything at work (it was a very professional/corporate place) but we went out to lunch together most days."
"We actually started off working in separate offices across the country but went to business events almost monthly and hung out."
"We only worked together a few years but have been married going on 28 years."- ncconch
Just Remember, No Means No...
If you socialize with them outside of work, that's the right time to flirt. And if they tell you no, then make sure you forget all about them before you come in to work the next day.- Metal-Dog
Just Don't
"That can go south quickly and cause a lot of issues."- Material_Joke1324
Season 3 Flirting GIF by The OfficeGiphyAs long As It's Done With Care And Good Intentions
"20% of married couples meet at work."
"Can’t really get away from that."
"That’s why most companies train to distinguish between sexual harassment and flirting, which is totally allowed if it is done in a non-harassing way."
"I dated a coworker."
'I’m female and he’s male."
"Same department, same titles."
"I started flirting on messenger first."
"We dated for 3 years and were always professional at work."
"We 'came out' after one year, shocking everyone."
"Coworkers were very supportive."
"After 3 years we broke up amicably and worked together with no drama or issues."
'I understand that this is probably an outlier but it does happen."- typical_friday
season 8 jim and pam GIFGiphyJust Be Open To All Possibilities
"I admitted to a co-worker I had a huge crush on that I liked her on a staff night out."
"She didn’t reciprocate those feelings."
"She dealt with it really well at work but it absolutely ripped my heart out and made seeing her every day very difficult."
"It’s a real gamble, could work out for you as it has a few people in this thread but I’d never do it again."- knopparp
"Anything that could lead to you f*cking your coworkers is a risky move."
"Source: spent several years as a 'f*cks her coworkers' girlie."- glittertits09
What You Do On Your Own Time...
"F*ck it! "
"Do it on the boss's desk."
"Leave a souvenir."- justimus_maximus
excited episode 4 GIFGiphyToo Big A Risk To Be Worth It...
"You're playing with firecrackers, while checking the gas line."
"Because, you're not sure your oven is working."- K_Odena
As The Saying Goes...
"Don’t dip your pen in the company ink."- Agreeable_Stick_6484
"Never dip your pen in the company ink, as they say."
"If things go south, it can cause a lot of problems in the workplace."
"You don't want to be working with a vindictive ex, or have any kinds of personal issues with someone you have to work with regularly that might affect your work output."
"Plus, you run a very serious risk of losing your job due to sexual harassment, or fraternization rules."- SweetCosmicPope
renee zellweger comedy GIF by Bridget JonesGiphyWhat Will Other's Say?
"It’s fun, but I’ve been getting weird looks at the family business."- GroundbreakingFox833
Stay Away From Prying Eyes...
"If it's reciprocal, go for it."
"Just probably don't do it with other people around."
"Some people here are overreacting."- AReformedHuman
Just Be Careful, And Know Your Place
"Everyone here is overreacting."
"Don’t be a creep or a weirdo and also don’t presume to know somebody just because you work at the same place."
"The same rules that apply everywhere."
"But also don’t try and get with inferiors or superiors."
"Other than that go for it."- Pepsplayed
When at work, it's a generally acknowledged rule of thumb to always be on your best behavior.
So if you think flirting might get you into trouble, probably best to avoid it.
We want to believe the world is a good place, and it can be. However, there are still those who seek to deceive us.
They prey on the innocent and naïve and run scams that take advantage of us and our assets.
Some of these scams are as old as time itself, and most people have wised up. They can recognize the tricks and protect themselves. However, every now and then, someone still falls for one of those stupid scams.
Redditors identified some of these scams and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor MrTenBelow-1 asked:
"what's a scam so stupid yet people keep falling for?"
Gift Card For Bills
"People who fall for phone scammers telling them they can pay an overdue utility bill in Apple gift cards. WTF?"
– AdmiralBofa
"My client got taken for 40k in gift cards and a bit coin machine scam over the course of 2.5 days. The bank held her and begged her not to leave because they thought she was in danger but the scammer told her to tell them she has a right to her money and they gave up. They never called her husband which would have helped. The second Kroger refused to sell her the gift cards and told her they would call the cops and called her credit card company to tell them to close the card. Kroger was the hero in this situation. It helped snap her out of it but most of the money was gone."
"Talk to your older relatives. This is so common."
– pamidawashername
Bail Them Out
"As a teller manager, I have had a few elderly people who actually believe their grandkids are in jail, and need to take out 20k out of their accounts in cash, in order to bail them out."
"Literally tell them they are falling for a scam, and to call their grandkids in front of me. Of course the kid then answers."
"Their hearts are in the right place, but they need to think before they take large amounts like that, but also if they gave the scammers their personal addresses."
– Nouls
"Thank you for looking out for them! My grandma’s attempt to bail me out of jail with target gift cards was foiled by a kind bank teller like you. My grandma doesn’t have a cell phone so she called the police and me from the bank to make sure everything got sorted."
– gingersnap9210
Money, Money, Money
"Any get rich quick subscription program. The actual get rich scheme is launching a subscription program for a get rich scheme."
– Kretuhtuh
"Subscribe to my courses to learn how to get rich quick. I'm only offering this because I don't want to use my tricks to get rich quick and want to share it with you instead."
– eggtart_prince
Love = Money
"Sending ppl on dating apps money"
– marvelwonderwoman
"While I've never been scammed, they've made attempts on me while I was on dating apps. It's easy to spot when they're attempting to scam you, like using some Instagram model's photos on their profile, or they try to get you to move to another app like skype or WhatsApp. But some guys don't think with the head on their shoulders and lose hundreds to probably a guy in Nigeria."
– draiman
The Future Is No Mystery
"Psychic hotlines"
– fonduktoe
"Or, any psychic really. Storytime: in NYC a few years ago, I walked by one of those storefront psychics as the proprietor yelled out to her husband, “But I can’t find my keys!” Not great advertising."
– moltenlavashake
How Romantic
"My coworker who was widowed three years ago met a man online and has been speaking with him for over a year. He says he has an apartment in an upscale neighborhood of the nearby city. They haven't met in person yet because he is building a bridge in Dubai. He was going to come home for Christmas but the flights were very expensive."
"I am 95% sure this is a romance scam."
– elusivemoniker
"He’s building a bridge in Dubai😂😂😂😂😂"
– Jellyb3anz
Don't Have Wheels
"I'm calling about your cars extended warranty..."
– WhoaSpoders
"Man I was getting those calls before I even owned a car"
– justaguyonreddit02
"Okay, I'm not proud of this, but I nearly got screwed by an extended warranty call."
"I had just bought a used electric car out of state. And even though I've never done this before I bought an extended warranty from the used car dealership because it covered the batteries."
"While I was waiting for delivery I got a letter from what I thought was the warranty company. I was getting a lot of paperwork so it didn't look out of place. It said to give them a call so I could finalize the warranty information."
"I called the number and they asked questions like mileage, trim package, etc. And after all that they said because of a change in their policy I could save $50.00 a month if I made the first payment before close of business Friday."
"The only reason they didn't get my credit card number is because I asked them why I needed to make monthly payments for something I paid in full on my loan. That's when the discussion started sounding fishy (phishy) after a few more attempts to convince me to pay I just hung up on them, and called the dealership."
"What's crazy is that the company is a legitimate extended warranty company. They just have shady business practices."
– could_use_a_snack
Sell, Sell, Buy!
"Pyramid schemes. For the life of me I can’t fathom how people think they’ll get rich selling stupid sh*t like oils or wax"
– AkuraPiety
"A family friend sells one of the kitchen things as an MLM and is always boasting about going on cruises and stuff... Of course she leaves out the part where she has to park on her driveway because her garage is literally floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes of unopened merch. She isn't getting rewarded for her sales, she's getting rewarded for her purchases."
"She cooked some kind of dip for us in a microwave to show off a product. It tasted like I imagine a dead cow's milky an*s tastes."
– WillemDafoesHugeCock
Heal The Virus
"“Hello, this is John White. I am calling from Windows Technical Support. We have received notification that there are many errors on your computer, and that it may have a virus.”"
– MasterAinley
"My friends mother kept a guy like this on the phone for 20minutes, did everything he told her and was so greatful the nice Windows man was trying to fix her computer. Then eventually asked him "Oh, was my computer meant to be switched on?""
– anderoogigwhore
Please Hang Up!
"My MIL almost fell for this."
"My wife got a call from her father about something completely unrelated and as they're talking, he says that her mom is on the phone with Microsoft. I overhear this. I've listened to my IT friends talk about how getting MS on the phone is a huge pain in the a*s, so I'm immediately wondering what is going on.""My wife prods a little and finds out that they called her. Immediately, I'm saying over and over again "Tell her to hang up. Hang up HANG UP""
"Her MIL is...well, she's an older Jewish lady who is allergic to silence. FIL is a very typical older Jewish man..."
"FIL tells her "The kids are saying you should hang up, they say it's a scam.""
"MIL says on the phone to the "representative": "My kids are telling me this is a scam, are you trying to scam me?""
"The fake rep says "Of course not, you know me, why would I do that""
"MIL: "He says it's not a scam.""
"FIL: "She says it's not a scam.""
"My wife: It scam."
"Me: HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP"
"FIL to MIL: They're tellin me you should hang up."
"MIL to FIL: Do you know where the checkbook is?""
"Wife: OMG TAKE THE PHONE FROM HER AND HANG IT UP"
"Me: Why is she not HANGING UP?"
"FIL to my wife: I think I might have to call you back, your mother can't find the checkbook"
"Wife, now screaming: SHE IS BEING SCAMMED"
"MIL, to the rep: Hold on, I think I need to talk to my daughter, can I call you back?"
"Rep: Sure, but if we could process payment..."
"FIL: I think you better tell him to call back later"
"MIL: That's what I told him [to the rep] I need to call you back hun"
"Wife: I am begging you dad, take the phone from her"
"Me: [screams]"
"MIL to the rep: No, that's not a good time, we'll be eating dinner"
"Me: I'm driving over there."
"And that's what I did."
"She hadn't given him any payment information thankfully, but she had scheduled a call with him later. I blocked the number and told her not to answer any other unknown numbers. I had to show her several articles proving this is a scam and she STILL said "Well ya nevah know, and I don't want any virus on my computer""
– Daddict
The Truth About Social
"Facebook is going to change its algorithm by you copying and pasting a post"
– mamaj747
"Literally yesterday I saw one of those dumba** "I do not give FB permission to blah, blah, blah...""
"Yes, honey, you already did when you signed up and every time you accepted their new terms of service. Buried in the fine print you entirely gave them permission."
– Cinemaphreak
Thin Out
"Those “lose 15 pounds in 5 days” type diets in supermarket tabloids"
– AssociateGeneral4275
"Dude it works, I lost 20 pounds in 10 days. The diet is called a very aggressive stomach flu. You can’t keep anything down and you sh*t your brains out."
– Omegaprimus
Steer clear of all of these!
Do you have any popular scams to add? Let us know in the comments below.