It really is often not the student's fault when they're acting out. Crazy behavior in the classroom can so easily mirror crazy circumstances at home.
More often than not, teachers learn this lesson the hard way: through parent teacher conferences, phone calls, or other events in which they are unprepared to meet the source of crazy, erratic, or disrespectful behavior.
u/ThatJamesLad asked:
Teachers of Reddit, what are your "the parent is just as bad as the student" stories?
Here were some of those answers.
Training For Klepto College
GiphyElementary teacher here. We had a student who wouldn't stop stealing things out of other kids backpacks. We had caught him on camera and would call the parents and they would just say "no, that's his insert stolen item, we just bought it for him." Then, we get him on a positive behavior plan and create intentional lessons about empathy to others, setting goals to get what you want, the difference between wants/needs etc.
Eventually, he gets enough positive days in a row that he gets released from the behavior plan and receives a free bike as his incentive for good behavior (they were donated to the school by a local bike shop). The next day he tells me his uncle stole it and pawned it. He went right back to his old behaviors and it was heartbreaking.
That's No Parking Space
I had a student last year who was new to the school. Really nice, friendly, shy and hilariously absent minded. He would come to school at least 2 days a week with either his shirt on backwards, inside out or both.
So I wanted to talk to his parents about how his absent mindedness was affecting his learning. Mom shows up at 5. Dad shows up 1hr late. We have a good chat and they get up to go. As I'm walking them out I said I will show you the shortest way to the parking lot.
The dad replies with I didn't park in the parking lot so I said "You can go the same way to the street." He said "I couldn't find the parking entrance so I just drove around and parked on asphalt play area." Sure enough I walk by and his car is next to the play ground.
So it all came together after that.
When It Crosses The Line Of Sad
This one's sad. I was a camp counselor and I had a girl in my cabin with issues. She was attention seeking, kind of a mean girl, and generally wasn't liked by a lot of the camp. I honestly didn't give her a lot of 1 on 1 attention, which is something I deeply regret in retrospect. I only understood the issue because I was bus staff. This was a sleepover camp.
Her session was 2 weeks and her parents had elected for her to take the bus back and they'd pick her up. The bus was early but plenty of parents showed up early they were so excited to see their kids. As we got closer to pickup time, the crowd dwindled until there were just a few left.
A staff member asked for the kids still there so they could make phone calls. All but one were in traffic and on their way.
My camper's parents said no. They said they had two more days of freedom, they wouldn't take her, and said we needed to put up with her for a couple more days. They each said this individually and hung up. Neither responded to follow-up calls. Staff told me to go home and they were left to figure that one out. My parents always hated me, but this was shocking to me. That someone's parents would absolutely refuse to let their 12-year-old into their house.
Mirror Mirror
High school teacher, and we have something called Soft Lockdowns (known as Shelter in Place by some schools) where doors are shut and locked but classes continue as normal. These are pretty common and can be used for anything from a medical emergency (want everyone out of the hallway if someone needs to be cared for, because high schoolers are nosy) to a fugitive running around the neighborhood.
We've been in many soft lockdowns because parents have come to the school ready to hunt down and beat the crap out of a teacher. They usually come in the front office (can't access the rest of the school without someone opening the secured door) screaming, cussing, threatening everyone in the area, you get the picture. Often, they're removed by the SRO and given a criminal trespass citation.
We have a pretty high rate of fights and violence between students. When I see parents acting this way, it all make sense.
Things That Are Normal Where You Live But Crazy Anywhere Else | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Wicked Smaht
A bit different because this is a positive story!
I'm not a teacher but I TA'd for a freshman chemistry class last year, so college kids but ones that were in high school like three or four months previously. One kid in my section was amazing: scary smart, always got great marks on assignments, asked fantastically phrased questions that the professor loved to answer, was a joy to be around during the lab section because he was so easy to be friendly with; he clearly loved and excelled at the work and enjoyed being in the environment, which definitely extended to the rest of his lab group (they were consistently the most talkative but also got the highest marks on assignments).
About halfway through the semester we introduce a concept that he struggled with a bit so he came to a few tutoring sessions and he was a joy to help 1 on 1. Our third tutoring session was in the campus Starbucks and went late so he had to get his dad to pick him up because his ride to campus that day had already left. His dad came a bit early so he ordered a drink and sat down with us for a bit and I immediately understood where this kid got everything from.
His dad was wicked smart (asked relevant questions in a way that made me think about the material in serious depth, same way that his son did), cracked a couple of dad jokes that made me laugh, and was beyond easy to talk to, to the point where we had stayed an extra 30 minutes beyond what we were supposed to, swapping between going over the material and cutting up. Just a joy to be around from day 1 until the day of the final and the apple clearly didn't fall far from the tree.
Control
I had a student many years ago, call him M. He was a sweetheart in the classroom, never answered back, did as he was told, engaged and interesting. But, outside of class, he wasn't allowed to be around other students, escorted class to class, because he would start a fight EVERY time, and i mean that. I could not wrap my head around it, until Parents Evening.
His Dad was a hulk of a man, mother was sadly deceased. He was clearly abusive. He kept his hand on the back of M's neck, leading him around like that. M looked like he was going to his own execution. Was told later that authorities were involved, but M lashes out all the time because it was the only time he felt he had some control. Would never talk back to an adult because he was just scared of us all. He didn't make it the year before he disappeared, but I still think about him.
The Lies, Margaret, The Lies
I had a student who repeatedly lied about assignments, saying he'd turned them in and his teachers had lost them. As a team with admin present, we conferenced with mom and dad, who deflected and provided excuses that he just "doesn't like school," and, "if my son says he did something, he did it. We value integrity in our family." Three months later some friends of mine invited me to a bar a few towns away to see a band perform. Near the end of the night, I ran into the mom who is out on a date with a man who isn't her husband. From that point on, she wouldn't return any of my emails or calls about the son's behavior. She is now an administrator in another county.
No Devils Here, Son
I teach elementary music but I also assist in before school care. There was one boy (3rd grade) who was sitting at a table with several other students. One girl was attempting to engage with the boy and he abruptly stands up, points at the girl, and screams "YOU ARE THE DEVIL". Obviously at this age there needs to be intervention because you can't talk to other in that fashion or with that language. We always try and talk through emotions rather than explode.
Call the mom and explain the situation. The moms first and only response is "Well, if he called her the devil, she probably is the devil"
Pretty clearly can tell where that behavior comes from.
Buh-what?
Not me, but a friend of mine is a professor at a Christian college. They had a student who wanted to do a topic about how "being gay is a sinful choice" and the only source they listed was their dad. When the teacher said that their assignment needs to be something that has academic backing, the student responded by claiming that their dad is an expert on the "choice of gayness".
I See Myself
GiphyNot a teacher, but am a parent. The story I always think of when I see a question like this is when I had a routine pre report card conference with my son's first grade teacher. She was telling me about how he didn't take some of his school work seriously and sometimes didn't finish it.
As an example, she took out a handwritten book that he had written about penguins as an assignment. It started out nice, with legit penguin facts, and then after the first ten pages, it became a bit silly and then ended abruptly with: "A penguin has never seen a leprechaun."
I started laughing; I couldn't help it. I was doubled over gasping for air, crying from laughing so hard. The teacher obviously didn't think it was funny, and seemed surprised that I was cracking up, but she politely conceded that "maybe it was a little funny." I'm 100% sure that she thought to herself, "ugh that's where he gets it."
She Probably Don't
I called home because a kid was coming to school inappropriately dressed every day. I'm not playing the "girls's bodies are distracting" card, I'm worried because the kid is dressed like she's about to work a corner. Of course I don't put it that way to mom, I just mention the kid is violating the school dress code and start to explain how when I'm interrupted with " You just jealous cause you don't look as good as she do "
This Is What We Call "Awful"
I had these two teenage girls in my class who were best friends, but they started acting really strange around each other. A couple days into this weird behavior I heard a loud commotion outside my classroom. Both of the girls' fathers were having a fist fight right outside my room, and the girls were screaming like banshees. I found out later that one of the girl's dad had been banging the friend and she spilled the beans.
When It's ALL Genetic
GiphyHad a kid in 3rd grade who could not focus. All over the place. ADHD for sure, though it's not my job to diagnose. Mom came in for report card. I couldn't get the mom to focus. Every time I'd start talking about something ("So, here are your son's reading grades... Here's how he did in comprehen..." "How about math? How's he doing in math?" I'd try to redirect her, but she'd interrupt me to go onto something else. After a while I thought whatever, handed her the report card, and told her to contact me with any questions.
Bully Bully
Not a teacher, but I had a kid in class, we were about 10 y\o, and he was a bully, hitting people and stuff. The teachers and the principal were being soft with him, trying to make him correct his ways. At the end of the year we had an activity where the principal talked in front of the whole school. The father of the said kid just came up, head-butted the principal, and sent her straight to the hospital.
No Punishment
It would have to be the mother who was a teacher herself, though not at my school. I got a rough draft from a student (who was 16/17) that was 90% copied directly from Wikipedia, hyperlinks and all. I called the mom and explained he would be receiving a zero for the rough draft assignment as a result of plagiarism. She called a conference to defend it because I never explicitly said they couldn't copy and that he should get another chance because it was a rough draft. Never mind the Honor Code each student signs at the beginning of the school year that explicitly laid out plagiarism and the standard consequence of a zero, I guess.
The Best Of The Best
Ive only seen one positive one so let me add another. I teach high school art, and I had one student who wasn't technically advanced but always was smiling and trying his hardest. He was always cracking jokes to his friends, to the point of where his friends would sometimes be annoyed cause they were the corny kind of jokes. But I was always laughing and he never gave up and keep smiling.
For the end of the year, if the kids took home all the artwork and took photos of their parents looking at their work and showed me the photos, they got extra credit. So he brought in photos of his parents looks at his work and oh my god they were hilarious! His mom and dad looking shocked and amazed in one, put on serious faces and hats and looking sternly at his self-portrait, ridiculous gasps and expressions, the whole nine yards. I laughed so hard! It made so much sense that such a fun loving kid had parents like that, that were willing to joke around for his extra credit.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
– insertitherenow
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
– TheEighthLord
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
– I_Have_A_Name37654
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
– 88Dubs
Brat Pack
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
– SonOfDadOfSam
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
– NicPizzaLatte
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
Contagious Femininity
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
– Lazy_Natural6154
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
– aliebabadegrote
Sexist Categorization
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
– ExaminationDouble240
It's Teamwork
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
– Mrbeardoesthethings
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
– constructionguy89
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
– Green7000
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
– MrFunktasticc
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
Never Submissive
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
– kamalaophelia
Stifling Emotions
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
– LambLifts
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.