With so many people in our generations growing up on Harry Potter, it can seem kind of nuts that magic-related things would be restricted to us when we were kids. But plenty of children grew up with restrictions to what they could watch or otherwise consume- typically the children of very religious parents. Here are their stories.
u/monsteraadansonii asked: Redditors with religious parents, what nonsensical rules did you have about what video games/books/movies/etc. were okay while growing up?
Santa = Satan?
No Power Rangers (obtaining powers from crystals was witchcraft).
No Santa Clause (Santa was Satan apparently, we were too afraid to question that one).
No Pokemon (psychic powers came from the devil).
XxVerdantFlamesxXReally big butterflies.
GiphyPokémon promoted evolution, and therefore was a corruption menace, leading to my secret cards being discovered and shiny Lapras being put through the washing machine :(
What's funny is that they didn't even start promoting evolution until regional forms came out. Before then, their "evolution" was really more like metamorphosis.
"No, mom, this isn't Darwinian. Just think of these things as really big butterflies instead."
Sorcery!
My wife is a librarian. She says a lot of parents restrict Harry Potter because it imperils their children's soul with tales of sorcery.
My dad is a very religious man. I mean to the point of reading the New Testament in Greek religious.
He read Harry Potter back when the whole 'ohmyGOD burn the heathen book' mess just started.
His response was 'do these people know the meaning of the word allegory?!' He thought the book was great and told quite a few nuts they were, well, nuts.
Those evil bicycle cards.
Almost anything could be construed as evil. We were playing with bicycle cards once and she looked at the king with the sword in his head and freaked out, threw away all the cards.
I was also told even thinking the word damn would get you sent to hell so I was always nervous when I thought about that. Basically just thinking "don't think damn, do not think damn".
Sports were pretty much the only thing I could watch besides Christian programming. I liked cartoons obviously but the only acceptable ones were these tapes we had that told bible stories.
Not the drums!
GiphyMy partner comes from a very religious household, and he was forbidden to listen to any music with drums in it because drums were the "devil's music".
Edit: just to answer some questions, his parents are really f*cking weird and seem to have their own version of Christianity. He and the rest of his siblings were homeschooled, and most of the time they do their own little church service from home. As far as I know they don't listen to any music at home still!
Jeez!
I wasn't allowed say "jeez" because it's "short for Jesus." That's the most annoying thing I can think of.
I almost got kicked out of a religious friend's house mid-slumber party for this. We were playing monopoly, I said "Jeez!" at some point, and her mom got up and left the room. I heard later from my friend that her mom was seriously considering calling my parents to come pick me up
That's kinda cute.
So this reminds me of a fantastic story. I went to Catholic high school so unsurprisingly a decent number of the teachers had fairly strong religious beliefs (all were super accepting and supportive of the students' beliefs and interests). My history teacher for 9th and 11th grade was one such teacher. His replacement for when he was irritated or in shock, etc. was "cheese and crackers!"
That just sounds racist to me, dog.
GiphyAction and violence? No problem. Serial killer documentaries? No issue whatsoever. But anime was heresy and trading card games were the devil because "these things come from a different culture".
Tbh it wasn't as much of a problem that they were religious as it was that they were racist about anything non-western.
That's a little extra.
No Disney movies because they were full of magic. Harry Potter was of course pure evil.
Mother blew a fuse when she find my father had a Styx tape because that's the river in Hell.
I borrowed the Escaflowne anime box set from a friend in high school. My mother saw approximately 0.5 seconds of it and declared it evil. Her snide remarks next time said friend came around were enough to guilt her into selling it for a fraction of what it was worth.
No computer or video games on Sundays.
Parents wrote nasty letters to the local TV news because of their use of the phrase "blow job" during the Clinton impeachment.
The worst part is how long that sh*t sticks with you even after you finally escape it.
Edit: how could I forget the most ridiculous one — Halloween is devil worship, so when my elementary school classmates were colouring jack-o'-lanterns, I was sitting out in the hall with the Jehovah's Witness kid.
Nah, it's just vegetables.
I couldn't watch Dragon Ball Z because my mom heard on the radio that all their names had satanic meaning in Japanese. I told her "But I don't know Japanese! It means nothing to me." But she said the message could get buried in my brain and affect me subconsciously.
Turns out the names did have meaning, they're pretty much all types of food or food-related. Kakarot = Carrot, Vegeta = Vegetable, Raditz = Radish, Broly = Broccoli, Paragus = Asparagus, the list goes on.
If anything, DBZ would have subconsciously encouraged you to eat healthily.
Not The Simpsons!!!!
GiphyFor a short while I lived with my dad and his parents and the only thing they banned was the Simpsons. My dad and I still watched it when they weren't home though.
Good response.
My mother is a Cuban emigrant. She and my father were missionaries before I was even born. I wasn't allowed to watch/read/learn anything that wasn't directly related to the church. I "learned everything I need to know from the Bible." Instead of listing everything I wasn't allowed, I will just list the things that were confiscated by my mother for being non-religious.
- Garbage Pail Kids cards. Especially devastating because EVERYONE at my school had them, and I had traded a lot of stuff to get them. Also in this category, Baseball cards, and playing cards were not allowed, because the act of,"trading cards" is a form of gambling, somehow.
- Walkman, my parents didn't allow the private listening or viewing of anything. They said that they didn't allow it, because a) I could be listening to music, b) listening to Christian radio stations with headphones on was wrong, because it showed that I was embarrassed to listen to my Christian music in public, another sin.
- Books. Including text books. My parents believed that I was "called" to be a missionary, and therefore only needed to learn Christian material. I had a HUGE collection of used text books that I kept under my bed. When my parents went to work I learned everything I could, except Math. I hated Math, and had a hard time learning it on my own.
- I wasn't allowed to have friends, even Christian friends, because anyone can be tempted into being a bad influence.
------------------------------------------
I haven't been in contact with my family since my father died. He was the last sane person in our family, and used to sneak me off to McDonald's for secret dinners. (Soda wasn't allowed at home.) He knew my life was hell, but he was a weak person. My mother sent me a long letter on my birthday that year, saying I was a hellbound sinner. So on her birthday, I sent her a photo of me in drag for Halloween, telling her that I just got a sex change. (I did not)
Cards for sorrow, cards for pain.
I lost several MTG decks to my religious grandmother. She would raise a huge stink about them being constructs of evil then burn them outside while praying.
Loved that woman but gawd she pissed me off sometimes.
Makes sense, I guess?
GiphyI wasn't allowed to watch the Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy. I think my mom screamed at me once for that when I was nine, and I stopped watching that. To be fair, it is entirely about the grim reaper...
- People Describe The Most Absurd Rules Their Strict Parents Enforced Growing Up - George Takei ›
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- People Confess Which Seemingly 'Forbidden' Things They've Always Wanted To Do - George Takei ›
Redditor Eyeso-pain- wanted to discuss everyone's scandalous moments of pride without care, so they asked:
"Redditors, What’s the most nsfw thing that you have done and don’t regret?"
Just telling a cold, hard truth is my mic drop.
Felt good.
Let's Chat
Pay Me Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Talked with my coworkers about our salaries."
ThaBossnian
"In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it."
elementus
Hey Ladies
"This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died."
RedHoneyBadger6
Smoking Hot
"I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock."
"I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight."
"She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married."
Storyteller678
NDA
"Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was 'don't ever freaking do that again... but nice job.'"
DrJOsterman
Some outfits make magic.
I like Home Depot
Heart Love GIF by Lowe's Home ImprovementGiphy"Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years."
glittereddaisy13
Let's Play
"Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well. Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected..."
Project_Legion
It Was Fun
"Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in."
"I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us."
Nippon-Gakki
48 Hours
"When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off."
"Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again."
solemn_penguin
Plus 2
Ariana Grande Singing GIF by The VoiceGiphy"My fiancée cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets."
rowenaravenclaw0
As savage as that move is... should y'all be married?
Do you have any stories to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor unripenedboyparts wanted to hear about the horrors we've all been witness to, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest thing you’ve seen in the woods, or in the mountains, or in deserts, or caves, or in small towns, or in big cities, or in hotels, or in remote or rural areas, or while asleep, or home alone, or while on large bodies of water, or while on an aircraft or a nautical vessel?"
I don't camp.
I don't hike.
I don't do wilderness.
And this is why...
Textures
Life Smash GIFGiphy"Coming out of anesthesia from open heart surgery, every time I closed my eyes I could see a perfectly formed brick wall inches from my face. I could see the texture of the bricks through the paint, the mortar, all in perfect detail. Every time I changed rooms, the wall would change colors."
GlobalPhreak
The Wolf
"I was up north. Far North British Columbia, Canada working in a (oil) rig camp out in the woods. I was working as a cook, I went out one afternoon for a smoke on the back deck. It was about 2 o'clock n the afternoon. It was a very quiet, still winter day. It was snowing those kind of big snowflakes that make it look like the world is moving in slow motion."
"So as I was standing there smoking, just staring off in the distance not looking at anything particular... you know looking left right, up down at my feet whatever. I felt something looking at me. Then I looked straight ahead. About 30 feet or less in front of me was the tree line of the forest, and directly in front of me in-between two trees I see the most gigantic wolf I have ever seen."
"This thing sitting looked like it was the size of a man standing. It was massive, sitting there and just staring right at me. We locked eyes, then I looked away for a split second and then looked back and it was gone. I don't know, it just gave me the weirdest feeling. It was definitely like, "hey.. I see you, I could eat you... butttt I won't, k byeee"
"Something I'll always remember."
vatersgonnavate
It’s absolutely unnerving...
"I live in a really remote part of Alaska. I think the scariest thing I’ve ever encountered is how silent the woods/tundra can be in the dead of winter. I’m talking like 'I feel like I am about to go insane' quiet. It’s absolutely unnerving. I become hyper aware of my heart beat and my breathing sounds like a f**king airplane taking off."
"And I know a lot of people will say 'it’s because a predator was near by' nah man, some places up here just have nothing. That’s what really freaks me out. I am absolutely alone in this one spot. I could drop dead and no one would ever find my body."
idontcareilikedogs
The Sow
"I rounded a corner in a trail in the Appalachian Mountains and came face to face with a sow black bear and her cub. Same situation, we locked eyes, she seemed to convey - look dude, I can un alive you in a second, but I’m not about it today so just be patient while I dig these bugs outta this hillside. I sat and watched this bear and cub for prob 20 mins at a safe-ish distance."
m0992104
Who Are You??
Video Games Gamer GIF by Call of DutyGiphy"There must be wilderness dwelling gamers out there, because I found a pile of xbox games in the mountains. Like two dozen in a pile in a remote location."
LittleBkGuy1
Those gamers are sneaky.
It Flies
David Choe Love GIFGiphy"Hallucinated a flying whale alongside the night time flight from Alberta to Ontario when I was 12. It was snow white, seemed friendly enough. Roughly the size of a blue whale."
jakebreakshow
Onto the Rocks
"It happened when me and my parents were on vacation to some place near Spain when I was still little. We went to a little beach at some coastal town where I then immediately jumped into the sea with my swimming goggles on. I then crawled on to some rocks and walked around until I noticed a crab sitting on the rocks."
"I then traversed them carefully while trying to catch it, but it kept crawling away. This continued until I then followed it to a point where the little bay I was in ended and the open ocean began. So then little me decided that it was a good idea to jump into the open water to see if there was anything cool down there. I then jumped in, and I was immediately hit with the cold temperature of actual ocean water."
"But the worst part was that even with my goggles on, I couldn't see anything down there. I was met with a giant black void. No fish, no plants, no rocks. Nothing. I then immediately turned around and began swimming back as quick as I could. And since that moment I haven't gone beyond the shallows ever again."
Successful-Seaweed12
Orbs
"This was almost a decade ago; I live in a town outside of Phoenix, AZ. It was late in the afternoon as the sun was starting to set. I went out in the backyard to smoke a cigarette and play fetch with my dog. As I was throwing the ball I noticed a small orb shoot from the ground directly into the sky."
"A few seconds later another one followed, and another, and another, and another. It didn’t stop for a few minutes. At first I thought it was a Roman candle but I just couldn’t hear but you’d normally hear them fizzing as the fly. I couldn’t hear anything. It was dead silent. To this day, I still don’t know what those were."
ThurSTIII
Appendages
"When I was a kid in the early 80's my parents had a house they rented out to people. We were cleaning it out after a set of unsatisfactory tenants and I was going through the kitchen cupboards making sure they were empty. I saw a mason jar tucked way back in the corner of one of the top shelves so I hopped up on the counter, stretched my arm, grabbed it and hopped back down. When I looked at the jar I saw a finger floating in a clear liquid. I set it down on the counter, walked out of the kitchen and called, 'Mom, I found a finger!'"
Narmer_3100
Jiggles
earthquake GIF by James CurranGiphy"I was on a fishing boat just off the Pacific coast and there was an earthquake. The water jiggled a bit as we heard a boom and a quick shake. Only time I was on water during an earthquake."
teebpix
This is why I don't fish. Not even on dry land.
Do you have any bizarre experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
