Nothing screams "I have no power" more than your mom's extremely bizarre and/or undesirable BF when you're like 7 years old.
Okay so first let's acknowledge how hard single parenting must be. I barely manage to eek out cooking for 1, being on time for doctor appointments, and not spending my money almost entirely on band t-shirts so I can't save any money.
But when your head's on fire taking care of work, yourself, and your--possibly multiple--kids, it might put your love life in a total fugue state.
u/lifeingminor asked, Children of single parents, who was the worst person your parent has dated?
Major Beefcake
My mom dated this guy named Rick. He always smelled like beef. All the time. He would come over and the living room reeked of BEEF!! I would beg my mom to let me leave whenever he came over but she said that would be rude. So I just had to be in the same house with that rotting meat basket called a man. He was over one morning when i had a late start. I went to school and a girl called me "Beef Bitch". I cried for hours. Rick and my mom broke up because he got a job in another state and they hadn't been dating too long so they decided to split up. My mom still wont tell me why he smelled like beef. She says it's his personal business
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Picturing This One in Those Candy Cane Stripes
Ronnie, He was a carny that my mother met at the local fair....whirlwind relationship that didn't last long, he didn't appreciate being dumped. He broke into the basement of out house late at night and used a set of tires and gasoline to start a fire under the stairs......I woke up in a house fire.
I taught my kids to tie their shoes and never trust a carny
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They Were Outta Dip, I Didn't Know What Else To Bring
This woman brought a loaded pistol to a party my dad was at because she couldn't get in contact with him (this was before cell phones)
What is Convenient About Marrying Elvis??
A a semi famous at the time Elvis impersonator/singer for a band that had some success and he's incredibly cocky and arrogant. My mom ended up marrying him but they live in different states and only see one another here and there. It turned out to be a marriage of convenience after a few years.
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It's the Cat That Gets Me With This One
One wanker called Darren. I have a viral infection once that mimmiced meningitis and he kept banging on about if I died he wasn't cleaning it up and that I may need a wheelchair. I punched him once when he tried throwing my cat outside into the rain. He's fu**ed off now thank god
And How Exactly Did She Expect That to Happen?
My dad started dating a woman who firmly believed that I was part of his "old life" and that he needed to cut ties with me.
I was 14 and became terrified my mum would find someone who would do the same, and I'd end up with no family.
Specific About a 10 Year Old is a BAD SIGN
Some guy she met at a bar. He was really interested in meeting her children; specifically 10 year old me. Within two hours of him coming into the house he had invited us all out to a nude beach nearby. It was very freeing, he insisted, and he thought I would love it there. Mom didn't make him leave the house for the night, and I slept in her room with the door locked.
Old Flames
My mom got back together with her old high school boyfriend for whatever reason. Guy was like 60 but looked about a minute away from death. Super lanky, reeked of cigarettes. Not a bad guy but his general hygiene and health made him hell to be around.
Who In God's Name is This Person's Uncle
His name was Jeremy, the only man my mother ever had around me. He would beat me and try to bribe me with toys, but I wasn't a normal child, I wasn't interested in toys and couldn't be manipulated. A very long story short, I told my big uncle, the criminal, the one that was fiercely protective of my mother and I and Jeremy was literally never seen or heard from again. Whatever my uncle did to make him go he did a damn fine job, he made sure I knew he was always there for me.
Polite, I guess?
My mom dated a guy named Mike, he had this weird rule that when he called the house (this is 1997-98 before we had caller ID) he would let it ring twice, hang up and call again when we would be good to answer it. I was probably 10 during this, I remember not liking him and would answer the phone first ring every time just to piss him off. He wasn't a bad guy, just a giant douche.
The Spook!
The spook. My mom had a thing for government operatives during the Vietnamese war, particularly this guy Roy. Once when I was on the phone too long and she out with him and was trying to reach me, he had the phone company operator break into my conversation and put her on the phone to me. He was also running operations in Cambodia and Laos. Creepy guy.
Just As Fast As He Came In
Definitely the guy, who after over a year of dating my mom and seemingly caring for both her and I, called her one night and said he never loved her and to not contact him again. No signs showing this is how he felt. He broke my mom for awhile. I definitely wanted to find him.
Thumb Ring's are Strange Beasts
I mean there were so many but I think it's a tie between the pathological lier, the one with anger management issues and the weed addict with the thumb ring.
Woah.
My dad DATED this lady that had like 4 kids. They lived with us for a couple months cause their "apartment wasn't ready". It was weird. Also she's the lady my dad cheated on my mom with and she cheated on her husband.
Little of the Secret Sauce in There
My father dated a weird lady who used to casually tell me how he was an amazing lover (I was like 9, so disturbing). I'm also pretty sure she tried to kill me once. She had really long fake nails and "lost" one as she was making cabbage rolls but didn't say anything until after I almost chocked to death on it. My choking did not seem to surprise her one bit, she didn't move a muscle to try to help me or even apologize after.
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Dammit, Chad
"Chad" is the only swear word in our house. Our mom used to date this douchebag when my littlest brother was a couple years old, and sadly he picked up some of his habits. Funniest thing was is this a**hole got karma big time. He adored his cars so much and every time he got a new one he'd hit a deer.
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At Least You Can All Go Out for a Drink
My dad is currently dating a girl my age. He's 53 we're 22. So there's that.
Walter White as a Stepdad
He turned out to be a high profile dude related with crimes. I can literally search his name on google and articles about his deeds will appear.
My list is too long to even try to narrow down. I'm just going to say that most of our political officials, on all sides, need a muzzle, a sedative, and a new career path. Start there...
Divorce Time
Real Housewives Goodbye GIFGiphy"Oh man I often think about the guy asking if he's an ahole for asking his pregnant wife to wear a diaper at night because she was disturbing his sleep whenever she got up to pee." ~ Morrigans
Psycho!
"I remember a girl in her late teens who thought her older sibling was faking their child's food allergy so she tried to catch her by not telling them about the ingredients before serving them a dish. Someone else had it first and recognized the ingredient and stopped the kid from eating it in time and called her out. She then tried to play it off saying her sibling was a drama queen and she was trying to trap her. Reddit tore into her, of course, since the child could've... well, died." ~ SylancerPrime
Glassware
"The guy who moved into his younger girlfriend's apartment, and threw away her fancy drinking jars that she loved from their shelf because they bothered him and he wanted her to just drink from normal cups. I think about this entitled jerk a lot. ~ SelfDiagnosedUnicorn
"get over it"
"Girlfriend of a widowed father of two, she moved in to his place. He was still struggling with letting go of his late wife. So the gf in her eternal wisdom decided to throw away all family pictures of his late wife one day when the dad was away because she felt it was time for him to "get over it". He did not get those pictures back, they were legit gone forever. When she posted this on AITA but didn't get the validation she wanted she just doubled-down instead." ~ YoungDiscord
Thief!
Angry Season 9 GIF by ShamelessGiphy"The girl who found a lost dog after someones house was destroyed then refused to give it back because they had "bonded." ~ dawsonsmythe
I dare you to try and keep any of my animals. What kind of lunatic does that?
"emotional support"
Steve Harvey Reaction GIF by Super DeluxeGiphy"The guy who was mad his GWB wouldn't give 10k usd because he provided her with "emotional support" by listening to her rant about her ex a couple of times." ~ Hopelessyhopeful
Vile
"The OP deleted it so I can't link. OP was the wife of a man whose first wife died. OP was jealous of wife #1 and destroyed all the photos and knick knacks from the first wife, including deleting all the digital photos. She burned everything physical. Her husband packed up his teenage daughter and left her. It was 3 or so years ago and I still feel rage thinking about that vile OP. I hope her husband divorced her. It's the least she deserved." ~ fluidentity
Cinderella
"OP wasn't the a**hole in this one, but her son was. Basically she found out that her son was using her daughter-in-law as a stay at home maid. They had two kids, I wanna say, and DIL did EVERYTHING - cooking, cleaning, childcare, EVERYTHING. OP gave DIL some money for a girls' weekend and her son forced her to cancel it because he wanted to go out with his friends that weekend, leaving her to watch the children."
"DIL called OP in tears and OP loses it - tells her to drop the kids at her house and go take her weekend. OP takes the kids to her sister's (with DIL's permission) and goes to the bar where her son is and tears him a new one to the point she gets kicked out of the bar. First thing she does after that is call her other two DILs up to make sure her other son's aren't pieces of crap." ~ SpidersMcGee
Awful Dad
"'ll never forget the one guy. He'd just turned 18 and was getting ready for college when his dad walked in, said "your mom cheated on me. I'm not your real dad. I'm not paying for your college. Move out after you graduate high school."
"The dad had known for the son's entire life but didn't say anything until that moment because he thought it was the mom's job to do it. And the kid assumed his family would pay for his college like they did with the others so he didn't save any money or look for scholarships." ~ justking1414
Call John
John Cena Mind Blown GIFGiphy"The kid that ruined his little brother's signed John Cena poster. The little brother had gotten it signed when he met John Cena during a Make-A-Wish event that was held for him." ~ nsa_k
That little kid is a psycho in training. Those parents need to sleep with BOTH eyes open. I hope John Cena sent another poster.
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Most of my minor, well major miracles when you think about it, have been in cars. I've lost track of the amount of vehicle disasters I've averted, by the skin of my teeth.
Out Damn Spot!
GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"My wife dragged my butt to the dermatologist for a cyst I have had for years. While there, the doc noticed a mole on my ankle that he didn't like. Turned out to be melanoma. Would have never gone if my wife didn't force me." ~ TheDistric
Say "AHHHH!"
"24 years old, had a pesky sore on my tongue that was really bothering me. My boyfriend's dad was a dentist so when I was over at his house one night I asked him to take a look. He recommended I go see an oral surgeon the next day for him to check it out."
"The next day I decided it was feeling better so I tried to cancel my appt but my boyfriend's dad insisted I go. I went, and the oral surgeon pretty much diagnosed it as cancer on the spot. It was aggressive and by the time of my surgery to remove it it had already spread to multiple lymph nodes."
"They ended up removing over half my tongue followed by chemo and radiation. Given how aggressive it was, I often think that if I had put off the doctors visit any longer I probably wouldn't have survived. I'm coming up on my 10 year anniversary in January." ~ bobear2017
Flip Out!
"When driving in the upper peninsula in Michigan last summer a truck full of logs flipped and barrelled straight into my car. Completely demolished the car, someone else had to come open the door for me after the fact because they were all pinned shut by logs. I walked out of there without a scratch on my body." ~ Tman2588
Pit Stop
"On a road trip in college with 4 friends. We stopped halfway for a pit stop because I had explosive diarrhea and was getting more sick by the minute. Friends carried on to Vegas and left me with one of the guys who rented us a car to return home. The friends that carried on got into a roll over: 1 died, 2 will be injured for life." ~ 4fingertakedown
Stay Single
Samuel L Jackson Reaction GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy"I was engaged to someone, but then came to my senses and broke it off. Nine months later I found out she got married to someone else, then about 1 year after that she killed her husband." ~ Green-Boysenberry396
Life is a minefield when you think about it. Sometimes the heartbreak of love is worth it in hindsight. You look back and realize you loved a psycho and just say... "thanks for looking out God."
Leaks
relief GIFGiphy"The second floor of the house I was renting collapsed a month after I moved out. ETA: apparently a water pipe sprung a leak shortly after we left. We weren't in any trouble." ~ RenaKunisaki
On Impact
"I was driving home from visiting my brother in Vermont when a snow storm started. I didn't have much experience driving in serious snow and I completely lost control. Car careened off the road and I was heading for a giant boulder at around 50 or 60 mph. I felt time slow down and I reflected on my life for a moment and then said goodbye to my body. Suddenly, I was jolted out of it by an abrupt impact, but I could see that the boulder was still 20 or 30 feet away."
"When I got out of the car, I saw that I had hit a little skinny tree that I could have easily grabbed with one hand. However, it had a giant root system that lifted the car off the ground and stopped me. Car was totaled, but I was completely fine because of that little tree. There is no way I would have survived the other impact." ~ senatorbolton
Winter Days
"Walking to work in the winter. Half way through a step forward under a skybridge when an icicle taller than me (6') and probably 2' around at the base crashes down right in front of my nose. If my bus had been a half second earlier, if I had walked even a tiny bit faster pace."
"I would have been impaled from brains to testicles. I was frozen in place for a minute, quietly surveying my near-death. There was another pedestrian nearby who witnessed it and the wide-eyed, ashen look on his face as he stared at me confirmed just how narrowly fortunate I was that day." ~ MoridinXP
where I had just been...
"This happened before cellphones existed. I had a long commute home and on a rare occasion my husband drove into the city to meet me. I started for home about fifteen minutes before he did. On the stretch of Highway 101 that I needed to be on for about twenty miles, there was a big rig in front of me that seemed to be driving erratically."
"I got this weird feeling and just moved over to the next lane and accelerated past him. In my rear view mirror, I saw the big rig run over the car in front of him, flip to its side crushing the cars in the next lane (where I had just been). My husband was behind the accident and as the police were letting cars file past in single file."
"He saw one of the crushed cars had a red bumper. He got home a couple of hours after me and said he'd never been so happy to see my red car in the driveway. That he'd been holding his breath as he turned down our street because he really expected me to be under the big rig." ~ susgrigs
The Rising
Water Douse GIFGiphy"My wife and I were prepared to buy a nice riverfront property in 2019, but the owners ( her dad and uncle) were dragging their feet. We had our down payment, we were approved for the mortgage, and we had even been living there paying rent."
"Then the river rose 30ft/10m and we had to evacuate. The water kept rising. The house was destroyed before we bought it. So we didn't buy it." ~ Idiot_Savant_Tinker
And these are just the disasters we know about. The truth is, we probably survive near-death experiences with every breath we take. God speed everyone.
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Reddit user UWigsOfficial asked:
"What historical facts sound fake but aren't?"
Guess It Wasn't Meant To Happen
"The fact that two times the Mongols attempted to invade Japan and both times a storm sunk the invasion fleet."
"Same happened both times caesar went to Britain."
Even Kings Draw Phalluses, Apparently
"King Karl XIII of Sweden doodled penises all over his private diaries in 1785, when he was 37 years old."
"Clearly he was the inspiration for Superbad."
Christmas Spirit
"The Christmas Truce of WW1."
"It honestly sounds to good to be true, so I'm glad that it was real. It just goes to show you that deep down none of them were the 'bad guys' in the war, no matter what flag or country they fought for. They were all just soldier's that had to follow orders from their COs. It really sucks that it only lasted once & has become banned ever since."
Prime Ministers Don't Just Disappear, Do They?
"An Australian Prime Minister went missing while swimming at a beach."
"In his honour the US named a warship after him while in Australia his local electorate named a swim centre after him."
"There's a few Harold Holt memorial swimming pools around. I laugh every time I see one."
Operation Acoustic Kitty
Game Forum GIFGiphy"Operation Acoustic Kitty. A $20 million CIA project in the 1960s which implanted a microphone, radio transmitter, and wire into a cat, for the purpose of spying."
"The first mission involved releasing the cat near a Soviet compound in Washington to spy on two men. The cat was released and hit by a taxi almost immediately, and the project was discontinued."
"Sounds about right for a government project"
Wojtek
"There was a corporal in the Polish army during world war 2 who was a beer drinking, cigarette smoking bear."
"He didn't smoke he ate the damn lit cigarettes."
Who Needs An Enemy?
"Legend has it that the army of the Habsburg Empire lost about 10,000 people in the battle of Karánsebes in 1788 before the enemy (the Ottomans) even arrived. Basically they were drunk and thought the enemy had arrived and started fighting between themselves."
"The legend part is just the casualties. The event itself did actually happen, it's just debated whether it was anywhere close to 10,000 people lost or just a few hundreds killed and thousands injured."
But How Did They Open Them?
Hungry Lets Eat GIFGiphy"The can opener (1858) was patented 48 years after the tin can (1810)"
"Did they just squeeze em til the tops popped open before that?"
"Cans used to be thicker. They were opened using a chisel and hammer"
"Also cans were significantly less common than jarring"
"Australian troops during ww1 went into no-man's land and dug out/recovered an abandoned german tank that was stuck in mud, pretty much because they were bored and the tank was there."
"The A7V Mephisto. Went and visited it a few months ago."
"As of 2020 at least, President John Tyler's grandson was still alive. That's 10th President if the US, John Tyler, who was born in 1790."
"I haven't seen any stories about his grandson dying so I assume he's still alive. It would be an interesting enough story that it'd be one of the top stories for a day or two."
It's commonly said that studying history will sometimes make you upset or uncomfortable, but most folks probably don't expect it to make them incredulous. Sometimes, though, fact really is stranger than fiction.
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