Humans are naturally curious.
But when it comes to controversial topics, humans sometimes don't know that their questions can be offensive. If you identify as LGBTQ, you're familiar with some of these questions (ie, Who's the man/woman in the relationship?) But if you were raised by LGBTQ parents, you get secondhand dose of these.
Here were some of the cringeworthy answers.
Are You Sure?
"Are you sure they're really gay" is the weirdest question I've been asked more than once. Like, no, maybe my moms have been just been really, really close and loving roommates this whole time. Lemme go ask! Just in case I'm the one who's confused.
What Does This Have To Do With Me?
A kid I went to high school had 4 mom's. 2 of his mom's were originally married and adopted him. They later divorced and remarried which gave him the other 2 moms. He always hated it when people assumed that having 4 mom's meant he was gay.
Biology Doesn't Change
Not my parents, but my grandma is gay. For some reason, it makes sense to people that gays can have kids, but not grandkids. "But how are you here if she's gay?".... Well, turns out 50 years ago, being a gay woman wasn't super kosher, and so grandma married grandpa. They eventually divorced and met other women, and now I've got a few bonus grandmas, which is awesome.
We Told You This Was Coming
Growing up with two moms, people would always ask me 'which one is the dad?"
My mom and dad both divorced for same sex partners. Weirdest question I get asked is "but why did your mom have you if she was a lesbian?"
My parents divorced when I was in 2nd grade because my dad accepted that he was gay.
From then until I was about 17 he was dating the same man who I grew to love as a father and still do. The kids I grew up with all knew, and started to pick on me some, though that didn't really happen until middle school.
The questions I remember from when I was in elementary school were, "Which one is the woman?", "You know you have a higher risk of being gay?"
Legitimately nobody has ever asked me questions about it. After I was picked on so much in middle school about it I stopped telling people. Seriously, my best friends to this day do not know and I am nearly 22. I actually have a great friend group now, and I know if I told them then they wouldn't care. But being picked on for it really f-cking sucked and was one of the worst times in my life. The only people I've told are people that I've dated, and even then they've never asked what it's like or what it was like to grow up with an openly gay dad.
I think I'd really like for one of them to. Because it's the one part of my life that I've never really opened up about to anyone. In fact, I think this is the first time I've ever acknowledged it on the internet. Guess I've just never met anyone else that can relate.
Good For You, Kid
I am a gay mom. My younger son is an athlete and is often asked who taught him how to throw a ball if he has two moms.
He said he usually explains that women can throw as well and he had coaches who did their job.
I love the "you look so much like your dad(s)", because, yer, that's how adoption works.
Still, So Rude
When I was in middle school, I had a friend who asked me to pretend that one of my moms was my aunt in front of her family. I also get asked which one is my "real mom," and I understand what's meant by that, but it still makes me mad because both of my parents had an equal part in raising me.
My niece is in school with a little girl with two moms. I was there when she met them and figured it out. "I have to ask" and SisinLaw and I both cringed because God what is this five year old going to come up with.... "Who kills the spiders?" Both SIL and I are afraid of spiders so our husbands deal with them, so in a house with no men.... Kid logic.
Blowing Their Minds
"Does that make you a lesbian too?" "Do they sleep in the same bed?" "How do they feel about you dating a guy?" "What does your dad think?"
And my personal favorite "Wait.. Lesbian as in like... Two women?"
One of my childhood friends growing up had two moms. I asked one of her moms if she had two dads too. She said that two dads and two moms would be too much to handle. I accepted that explanation and never thought it was an issue. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized some people had an issue with gay people. I was like ~5 at the time and I really like the way she handled it. Since I'm a member of the LGBTQ community now I hope that I handle things that gracefully myself.
Use Your Brain
"How can they be gay if they have kids?"
Why Does This One Keep Coming Up?
"Are you sure they're really gay" is the weirdest question I've been asked more than once. Like, no, maybe my moms have been just been really, really close and loving roommates this whole time.
How Does WHAT Work....
Nothing especially weird, what's annoying is the instant rapid-fire barrage of suddenly personal questions about every aspect of my family as soon as it's realised I have 2 mums, no matter what we were talking about before.
I guess a weird common one is just "how does that work?" Which I still don't know how to answer. It's so vague, are they asking about my upbringing? Conception? My parents relationship? All strange things to suddenly ask someone you've just met, but it happens all the time.
A Whole New Topic
People immediately ask how I was born because I have two moms, and then I have to explain the intricacies of sperm banks and artificial insemination... and then explain that my younger sister was from the same vjy's sperm too.
There's NO Excuse
My (white) cousin is a lesbian who married a (white) woman who already had a daughter and had adopted 2 African American brothers. THEN, my cousin decided she wanted a child of her own so she was artificially inseminated by some random guy she found online. They often get asked if the kids are showing signs of being gay - which is the DUMBEST question ever. The kids are 13 and under... and I'm sure they'll be berated with questions as they get older - especially the boys.
My dad's gay. When people find out they usually just say "he seems so straight", which is only true if you only kind of know him. I lived with the guy for many many years, and the signs are everywhere. From his love of Andrew Lloyd Webber to the Judy Garland records, to the male friends he'd bring over to "watch TV" in his bedroom.
Haven't ever gotten too many questions about my moms' orientation... But I did once say to someone "My mom and her partner just moved here" and the response was "Oh, I didn't know your mom was a lawyer!"