A family has no one perfect make-up. It really should be a simple concept to behold, but so many people have so many opinions about what they deem right and wrong. But maybe everyone should talk to people with experience on certain topics before they judge. It's a new day and people are realizing that romantic and true love for others can carry to more than one significant other.
Redditor u/AydanZeGod wanted to hear about what it's like to have more than two heads of a household for the little ones by asking.... Children of poly relationships, what was it like growing up?
Dinnertime...dinner twins GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy
When I was younger I didn't realize mom and dad were poly, but now it's funny to see my friends faces when I say "my mom and her wife and my dad and my dad's girlfriend and his other girlfriend and I are gonna get together for dinner tonight."
just more players on the stage.....
When I was young my folks dated a couple of couples. One was very long term, we were military families but they managed to finagle a transfer together. So wow, that would've been like 8 years at least? They kept in close romantic contact when they separated, but idk if they qualify that as still being together.
They were my aunt and uncle, essentially.
We and their kiddos got sent off to grandparents (theirs and ours) together to give them alone time. It was kinda a given that we'd all see each other every couple days, either they'd come to our house or we'd go to theirs. Not for them to sneak away for sexy time, but just to spend time together and be a family together.
I knew I could go to them about anything I could talk to my folks about and even some things I couldn't. That closeness continued even when my own folks split, idk what standing they had with them after that tho.
Unfortunately, my aunt kinda had a psychotic menopause and we had to go to NC with her.
Nobody knows that I'm still in contact with my uncle tho. Idk how my mom would feel about it. But he stayed a rock for me when my own dad didn't.
Same drama as any other family I guess, just more players on the stage.
Thanks for the Slime....
I had a therapist in a poly relationship and they all 3 had a child together that was around 9 when I met them, 2 dads and one mom.
Unfortunately, they couldn't be fully open about the fact that the 3 of them were in love since before she was born because the one she called dad worked for a religious college and that information getting out at all could have cost him his career, so she only called 2 of them mom and dad while she thought of the other like an uncle that visited every day.
She seemed normal, she liked to make slime.
Too Many Voices....pole GIF Giphy
It was fine.
The poly part didn't really become known to me till I was 13 or so. The only weird bit was if I was bringing home a friend or someone I wanted to go out with I had to kind of explain what to expect beforehand and some people got weirded out. 🤷♀️
I'm an adult in a monogamous marriage now - I saw first-hand that getting 3 people to come to a consensus on anything was exponentially more difficult than just getting 2 on the same page.
Edit : I just realized too - how I was raised also made me very comfortable with taking about sex and boundaries in a relationship, where I think a lot of me peers were more easily pressured into things they weren't comfortable with.
This will probably be buried but it happened to my husband who didn't even realize it was happening. When he was a kid his father lived with his mothers, one of whom he thought was his birth mother and the other was an identical twin to her that he just called his aunt. He said it felt pretty normal, he never knew it was poly until much later in his life.
Several years back, his mother had passed away and his aunt contacted him again asking if she could move in with him to have him help her as her caregiver. He agreed, and just before her passing he received a letter from her lawyer (written by the twins and his father) finally explaining everything. Turned out his aunt was his actual birth mother who had kids with his father too before he was born but who had passed away in a house fire.
The mother that raised him was completely sterile and in fact had a hysterectomy at a very young age. He was in complete shock, but said it made sense how close everyone was in the house, despite keeping all the adult stuff behind closed doors. His big shock seemed more the fact that his father kept up two relationships instead of just one, and he was either scared, impressed, or both.
When in the States...
I took a class with a Dr. Awasom at University of Houston - Downtown for a while. He would talk about his childhood growing up in Cameroon in a family with one father and about a dozen mothers. At mealtime, the kids would run a route from one mother to the next, all grabbing a bite from each. He says he was, IIRC, 12 when he learned which mother gave birth to him. When he came to Houston to study, he applied at Rice University.
When filling out the application, he asked for an extra page to provide the names of all his mothers.
In his culture, he was considered to be the reincarnation of his grandfather. At a special ceremony every year, he would offer his grandfather's advice and answer questions on his grandfather's behalf. It was also in his authority to prescribe punishment for his father on this occasion. When Awasom came to the states, he would attend the annual ceremonies by phone.
Edit : Apparently, Dr. Awasom passed away last year. There's a brief tribute to him here:
Hard for me to believe there isn't more about him online. Would love to have had his memoirs.
Honestly I think it's waaaaaaay more boring than most people would think. Most of the time, my mom wouldn't introduce a partner to me unless it was a long term relationship, so most of the time I got the single mom experience. I think the most exciting thing was going out for dinner to meet someone new, and occasionally my mom would date someone who had a kid my age, and we would awkwardly play together while our parents were on a date (as in, we were playing in my room upstairs and a movie date or something was going on in the living room downstairs).
Really for the most part it was so completely average other than knowing my mom had 2 girlfriends and eventually I also got a stepdad. The worst part was around 6-8th grade when kids found out and started bullying me for it, asking all kinds of disgusting sexual questions about my parents (no one wants to think about their parents having sex).
Eventually I learned to just not tell anyone unless we were close and I new they were cool. I only ever had one person I trusted enough to actually come to a family picnic where my mom's partners would all be there. My mom's partners aren't my parents but they are part of my life and my family. They're wonderful and supportive, and have helped me through some horrible dark spots in my life. I'm grateful to have such a wonderful, loving family.
So yeah, not very exciting, I know. But it's my life!
Oh the Hippies....camping free people GIF by MOST EXPENSIVEST Giphy
I grew up in a small town and 1/2 of the town were hippies.
In the 3rd grade one of my friends couldn't go on a field trip because he returned a permission slip with the word "parent or legal guardian" crossed out and signed by the "group representative". Of course in the 3rd grade we didn't know what was going on until my mom explained it to me. But when the kid was told he couldn't go the whole hippie commune came over to class explaining to the teacher how all their kids will be raised by the group and it's damaging if they see a single person as their parent or guardian.
I am 15 years old, and my parents often have potlucks where they invite their partners over. My parents are good people, and everyone they invite over are good people and have become my friends. I also usually will meet their children and become friends with them. It really is just a wonderful environment, but it is very difficult to maintain. More partners = more drama, and a lot of times two people will get in a fight and cause the whole group to split for a while. But all in all it's pretty great.
Edit: this really blew up and there were a few questions in the comments so I figured I would elaborate a bit. My dad is bi and my mom isn't, and the group of partners that they have (called the polycule) consists of well over 50 people, but not everyone is on a romantic relationship. And in any group of 50 people, their are people who can't stand each other. So my parents circumstance is a bit of a special one, but it only leads to meeting more good people.
A Better PersonKids Swag GIF Giphy
Can't really say it felt weird or odd as it was just what I was used to but I think I can honestly say it's made me a more open and loving person, I'm not afraid of being close to people because my parents were always very close with their friends (for reasons that are obvious now but less so at the time).
I also grew up getting to know my parents friends quite well because my parents were very close with them and trusted them enough to look after us, although I'll admit this was probably more so they could have the house free of children. It does mean that I'm still quite close with a lot of them and consider them friends of mine outside of my parent's friendship with them and I also have a few more parental figures to choose from, meaning I can pick the best ones from each to try and emulate.
All in all I'd say I'm a more well rounded person as I got to know a lot more people as family growing up as well as exposing me to many different personalities.
My parents have been a triad since 1998.
It was hard I wont lie, they dated a lot of 4ths who brought their own children into the mix then later break up with them. It was really difficult to constantly have parental figures and siblings come and go. The most being 13 kids and 4 adults in a 2 bedroom apartment.
I am glad though that I grew up with it, I'm poly myself and it was never something my parents encouraged or forced on us. In fact they always say not to try it unless you're a specific type of person. It introduced me to a wide arrange of people and broadened my mind to what family actually is which is the people who love you and make you feel safe i.e. chosen family.
No Need to Explain....
Hey, a question relevant to me! honestly, though, it wasn't super different than any other way of growing up i assume, i just have one extra dad than everybody else. that's just always how it's been, and i never really thought about how 'abnormal' it was until high school. Even then it was more just thinking whether i really cared enough to explain to other people, or just go with a white lie on paperwork or whatever. Biggest difference i can think of while growing up is that there was ALWAYS someone home, which can be frustrating for a rebellious teenager.
What's your #?tracy morgan bingo GIF by Team Coco Giphy
My mother was involved in a poly relationship for a while when I was a kid. It was very confusing. For a while there were 4 of us kids around, me, the kid of the other woman, and the two kids of the man. We were all pretty confused and resentful. Our favorite joke was "pick a number and wait in line."
Not so Great....
My friend described it as "like going through the stress of your parents divorcing and meeting your moms new boyfriend, but forever".
He cut off his relationship with his parents (and refuses to even call the dude who isn't bio related a family member). He hardly talks about it, but that's the explanation I got out of him.
My parents weren't poly until I was a toddler, I guess? I thought of the other couple as just nice people my mom and dad were close with, they met online and came to visit, they all clicked well, and eventually the other couple moved in with my family. I didn't make the connection they were all together until I was a teenager, I suppose I thought they were all just roommates of sort (though bed swapping and sharing was occurring the whole time!).
By that point, my mom and dad had divorced and so had the couple- my dad married the other woman, and my mother married the other man. My mother has divorced and remarried again, and my father and stepmother are still together, almost 20 years later.
tl;dr in retrospect, it's just kind of an odd situation, but I honestly didn't even realize my parents were poly growing up and now my dad is married to the lady instead of my mom.
Show me costumes....christian grey anastasia GIF by Fifty Shades Giphy
My parent were swingers. They went to bondage clubs and things like that. I found out in my late teens, so I didn't really care all that much.
I learned of it through my friend who told me his mom told him that my parents asked if they were interested one night when they were chilling in the hot tub.
Started to put the pieces together after that... All the "Halloween costumes" in that box that I always overlooked... It's weird, but whatever more power to them. Don't think they do it anymore though, they're getting a little too old for that life.
It all depends....
I know 7+ families with poly parents and more with open relationships.
The kids are... kids. Some are great. Some are anxious or manic. It varies by parent and child, not by the poly.
The poly parents that aren't great parents are pretty comparable to the normative parents that aren't great. And the poly parents that are great are pretty comparable to the normative parents that are great.
The biggest differences I can think of are going to be about communication, affection, and love, but even that's just a tendency and not a definitive distinction.
That's my experience anyways.
Had a friend several years ago that grew up with poly parents in Kansas. What he described seemed like a pretty healthy family/upbringing, and I would describe him as a well-adjusted, happy human. I don't think either parent was particularly promiscuous, but throughout the years they would have other partners. He was a proponent of polyamory and had a pretty good way of explaining it - basically no one person can satisfy your everything, so polyamorists have more than one partner that allow them to experience romantic partnership on a fuller level of their being.
Polyamory isn't my cup of tea, but it is possible to have healthy relationships with this lifestyle, including that of a family.
My son is a member of a throuple with two women. The first is his college gf who always had an open relationship, during a long distance period of their relationship he started very casually seeing girlfriend 2 but over time it got more serious and now they all live together. Things are happy and wonderful for them but I really do worry about how the dynamic would change were someone to fall pregnant.
I worry about jealousies and inequalities rising up, but mostly I worry for my future grand babies. The societal pressures and teasing from outside the home as well as possible resentments and issues within the home. I can see how, if things work the way they are planned, it could be a wonderfully supportive and rewarding way to grow up, but you know what they say about the plans of mice and men!
So I actually really appreciate the insight of this thread, I want to be supportive of my beloved throuple but part of being supportive is discussing possible pitfalls in hopes of avoiding them and this has already highlighted some. It's also pointed out some of the positives, so thank you.
Who?Ummm GIF by memecandy Giphy
When Dads said "Go ask your mom," I was always confused.
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Time flies... before you know it, it's gone. Suppose there are things you really want to do: Getting into certain habits is a lot easier to do when you're younger. It's a lot easier to go to the gym and exercise on a regular basis, for example, when you're in 20s than when you're in your 30s, 40s, or 50s.
But there's nothing wrong with starting now––you'll notice the benefits eventually.
After Redditor Tr0az asked the online community, "What do you wish you started doing from a young age?" people shared their stories.
"I should have saved more..."<p>Saving money, and spending responsibly. I should have saved more when I lived at home and had no commitments.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi25sgj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">seanosaurusrex4</a></p>
"The kind of thing..."<p>Being kinder. I'm talking habitual kindness. The kind of thing where you do it so much you get a reputation for it and it comes more naturally than being disinterested/a d!ck.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2ex3j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rizlagreen345</a></p>
"It's weird because..."<p>Making friends.</p><p>I can talk to large congregations with ease, participate in debates and discussions and <em>shine.</em></p><p><em>I, however, do not have friends.</em></p><p>It's weird because you'd expect me to have great social skills and all. I have no idea how to make small talk, or just talk to anyone normally. I can't understand what their responses are and make an appropriate response to it. I can talk about Math, Harry Potter, Earthsea, Stalin, Yuval Noah Harari and a lot more. I can't talk <em>with</em> people. I don't feel lonely, but my parents are upset and I wish for their sake, I'd learn to appear more normal.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2e7iq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">methametrics</a></p>
"Within a month..."<p>Taking medication for my OCD.</p><p>I started on medication when I was 12, which sounds relatively young, but I wish my parents had out me on medication sooner. I missed out on most of my childhood. I had so much psychotherapy as a child, which did basically nothing. Within a month on medication, I had essentially no symptoms. I suffered for years when a pill a day could have alleviated it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2hn0d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Hexomin</a></p>
"I tried learning..."<p><span>Studying music. I tried learning how to read music as a teen (privately, not school) and hated every second of it. Kodály can kiss my arse with his idiotic overcomplicated system. Notes have fixed names! Use those!</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2u37m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AkebiJehubiMethusie</a></p>
"I was politely asked..."<p>Yoga! I was politely asked to leave my youth gymnastics club as a little kid because I didn't have the attention span but I wish I'd carried on with some form of bendy, stretchy exercise. I get by alright as I'm only 29, but I think if I'd done yoga I'd feel a lot fitter and more youthful.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2dlfg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">broomheezy</a></p>
"There is nothing in this world..."<p>Learn about investments. Not just financial investments, but personal commitments as well. There is nothing in this world worth having that will come to you without some time and money invested.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2dlfg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">broomheezy</a></p>
"Being open-minded..."<p>Being open-minded about food. I was a very picky eater and now I'm mad at myself for missing out on so many delicious foods for so long.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi56ywh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CraziiSpice</a></p>
"In general..."<p>In general, I wished that I had developed the idea that discipline is important for everything early on. A new language, an instrument, your studies. It does not matter. By sticking to it you will get better. And if you stick to it long enough, you will get some nice skills later on.</p><p>Nothing is stopping me to start these things now, tho. I am really excited for this year.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2yf9g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thatkafkaguy</a></p>
"I'm tall..."<p>Ballet. I'm tall and naturally graceful and I always always wanted to do it. Being one of four children of blue-collar parents it just wasn't in the cards for me. I tried a 100 level course in college and loved it but I was so far behind I get really self-conscious and dropped it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kq74es/what_do_you_wish_you_started_doing_from_a_young/gi2jt38?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChosenPrawn</a></p>
There are basic life lessons that are life-saving and cost-effective that we are all intimidated by but, in actuality, they take all of a few minutes to acquire. We all condition ourselves to believe that certain skills in life are just too complex for regular joes to master. The truth is... you do not need an Ivy League degree to learn how to clean out the water heater, clip your pet's nails, or change out a toilet. Who knew? So many of us have been forced to acquire new skills while we've been trapped at home and we're going to be better off for it.Redditor u/goodspeed19 wanted to know what lessons we should all be learning while stuck in quarantine that will make us more useful in the future by asking..... What's a skill you can learn in 30 minutes to one hour that is extremely useful/cool?
Car Basics....<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTcyMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDA1MjAyMH0.Ee1LFmYCQrOmsekQzVMFQn2s17LhjV9jPV16JwVbrLk/img.gif?width=980" id="8460e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f5bc8fbebee4fa7b1e03920f40d9b975" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Work Reaction GIF by EnBWGiphy<p>Changing the oil on a car. Changing a tire. Most of your basic car maintenance stuff that once learned will save you some money, and that you can fix in less time than it'd take to bring your car to a mechanic.</p>
Blade<p>Knife sharpening, it'll stop you from cutting yourself to the bone by stopping your knife from slipping. Then use the other half of the hour to learn proper knife skills. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/gio15kz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cornflakesforfools</a><span></span></p><p>It's really amazing how much safer a sharp knife is. It "bites" whatever you're cutting immediately and stays on course almost like it has a mind of its own. As long as your fingers aren't in its path when you begin the slice, you're basically more likely to die of a brain aneurysm than cut yourself. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/gip1ex0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JeromesDream</a></p>
Picker<p>Lockpicking simple 3 pin locks. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/ginzwxh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">IrishUpstart</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/ginzwxh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a><span></span>Yes. It's freaking hilarious that people on here can't figure this out on their own.</p><p>Think about leaving your bike out with a lock on it vs without. Much more likely to come back to no bike if you don't put a lock. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/gipsioy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaibakura</a></p>
The Rescue<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTcyNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjE0NjM2M30.fhdGuypcdIJPpij02d4kQDnts0JTHI5ahQAWoiqbYtk/img.gif?width=980" id="132d5" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cb77fa529d02c6061111afa3faaa5c21" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="346" data-height="195" />cat save GIFGiphy<p>CPR, easy to learn and you could save a life someday ! (just don't do it like Michael and Dwight please). </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/giobnet?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">KaoraZ</a><span></span></p>
Man Down<p>I learnt how to fall in my first judo class. It is really a life saver. My teacher grandpa was a judo 8-dan master, and while he was an 87 year old dude, he fell during a walk. I know it won't be a big deal to you, but at that age, falling is a real threat. He managed to do a Zempo Kaiten Ukemi, which is kind of landing on your shoulder first and rolling through your back and getting up striking the floor to use momentum to stand up, its purpose its to soften and dissipate the fall damage. He got up like nothing happened, but all the bystanders were losing it to an old man doing a front roll in the street. He was unharmed thanks to judo. Learning how to fall can save your life. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/giq62rh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tocuto</a><span></span></p>
by the book....<p>Read the Boy Scout handbook.</p><p>It includes a <em>humongous</em> amount of incredibly useful information, including (but not limited to):</p><ul><li>Changing a car tire (depending on the edition)</li><li>Useful knots such as the Bowline and Tautline Hitch</li><li>How to sharpen a knife</li><li>How to properly use the toilet when you're outdoors</li><li>First-aid and triage</li><li>How to tie a necktie</li><li>How to set up and take down a tent, along with (most importantly!) <em>where</em> to set it up. It's ridiculous how many times I've been the only person on a campout whose tent wasn't flooded because I paid attention to this section.</li></ul>
Keyboard Clips<p>Some keyboard shortcuts never hurt. Here's the ones I use the most</p><p>CTRL + W (Google chrome) = Immediately closes your current tab</p><p>CTRL + BACKSPACE = Deletes the last whole word rather than deleting one letter at a time</p><p>Click on a hyperlink with the mouse wheel button = Opens the link in another tab</p><p>CTRL + SHFT + ESC = Opens up task manager without having to go through the CTRL + ALT + DEL menu</p>
Swipe Fire<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTczNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjQzMDUyNn0.q6VQVH8kHrycB17c5YOuLzhZUQ1oWp68D2EIeKa7avw/img.gif?width=980" id="bac30" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f14dfd615990d62381ae2ce7309adcaf" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="264" />Tom Hanks Reaction GIFGiphy<p>How to make fire using tinder... not the app.. lol. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/ginzv3g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">__Rainforest__</a></p>
Grandma Knows<p>The basics of crochet/knitting. It's quite handy if you want to something original. In the end, the basics are quite simple. With those basics you can make anything. Pillows, stuffed animals/dolls, clothes, wash cloths, pot holders, gloves, hats, scarfs, and more. It can be as quick or slow as you like and as easy or challenging as you like.</p><p>Plus it's very mindful, kind if like meditation, and really calming and rewarding as you see your work grow and take form. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/gio8co7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">2tinymonkeys</a><span></span></p>
Speak....<p>A little bit of sign language. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kttrlr/whats_a_skill_you_can_learn_in_30_minutes_to_one/gip3716?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">HeyItzProwlWolf</a></p>
When I was heading into high school from middle my guidance counselor and my parents wanted me to enter into "gifted" classes because I was able to maintain a high GPA. They thought it would give me a head start for a great college and then prime me for the Presidency. I protested and negotiated signing up for merely "advanced" classes, God forbid I go with "regular" classes, or we all just get the same education. I have never regretted it.
The Burnout....<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTY3NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjEzNDA2NX0.ijpw8O47yiRhzJTOYcBBM7yyTrRjzJ8xNgm5mNQECXY/img.gif?width=980" id="6854e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="072d2539b34253282d547cf0bbf1308f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />burnt out GIF by Space JamGiphy<p>High expectations from a young age, from everyone, leading to overworking, depression anxiety and burnout. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/krlc7z/former_gifted_children_what_went_wrong/giam8gs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">isthispaige</a><span></span></p>
Don't Push....<p>For me the high expectations were combined with questionable parenting. My mom didn't really understand that you can't just push people you need them to buy in and you need to know how things work. My mom would yell at me for doing poorly in high school math but didn't understand that if I didn't have high school math I couldn't go into a business or engineering degree and now I'm messed because my BA & MA are useless.</p><p>Pushing your kids too hard is really crappy. Also, not meeting their basic emotional needs or giving them fun stuff to do will also mess with them. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/krlc7z/former_gifted_children_what_went_wrong/gic1zty?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ContactLess128</a></p>
In the 6th....<p>In sixth grade I started at a very prestigious school geared toward college prep. At my previous school I excelled with minimal effort, rarely got under 99% on any test or quiz or project. Sixth grade starts, and now I have 3+ hours of homework a night. Couple that with piano lessons (I didn't particularly enjoy them) once a week and extra curricular like sports and I had less free time as a sixth grader than I do now at 33 with a full time job 45 minute one way commute, and a three year old daughter. </p>
Average<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTY4NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDQyMTYxMX0.-_otEKw2647KC3CHL-P5Mn6La9e7zuK7jfK2Wnxnw2A/img.gif?width=980" id="dcce7" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9cf8b7dd9131ecda2b72a98a6a624ec7" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="258" />student pass GIF by Juan BillyGiphy<p>I never learned how to work for my grades. Even now in college, I find it hard to sit down and do my work and I push everything to the last minute.</p>
So Many Issues....<p>Sounds like a cop out, but to an extent I blame my mother. I'd come home having scored a 98/99 and her brand of "comedy" was to ask what happened to the other 1 or 2%. She loves me and didn't mean any harm by it, but after a while it wears on you. I started feeling like if I didn't try it wouldn't matter to me if I missed out on a few percentage points here or there anymore because I'd always have a legitimate excuse for myself. </p>
:(<p>ADHD and child abuse. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/krlc7z/former_gifted_children_what_went_wrong/giaj6fh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Yeti-lover</a></p>God, this. I tested in the upper percentile early on, and I was put in advanced classes. I don't know what it's like now, but California had really good programs when I was a kid. However, I went undiagnosed for ADD as well. This, along with my parent's expectations meant I disappointed them more often than not.
Derailed....<p>Mental illness and being poorly prepared for life, but I've gotten control of it. Now I'm a little behind in life but I'm back in college and have a 4.0. Sometimes we get derailed but it's never too late to try again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/krlc7z/former_gifted_children_what_went_wrong/giakrri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Viiibrations</a><span></span></p>
Only to be Smarter....<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTY4OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNDcwNjE4MX0.faewKXS7fRsNJgcoScogB9exiwe4PB7s5saRr3iRUa8/img.gif?width=980" id="c33a7" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="96e33ef88fe8d9f48cc6aca159626a44" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Smart Think About It GIF by FriendsGiphy<p>The same things that go wrong for most gifted kids: Gifted education doesn't deliver. I was head of every class I was in for the longest time, but giving the smart kid more of the same work doesn't teach them about being challenged. </p>
"gifted and talented"<p>Developed severe depression and didn't get help until after I had already failed pretty much all my classes for 3 years in a row and fallen behind, and then fell another year behind when I was in a long-term progress-based outpatient program getting treatment for my depression. Then, when I finally went back to school with my mental health in check, I had about a month of good grades and success before I started to develop major health problems. </p>
Early On....<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1NTY5MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzkwMTMyOX0.7fBVI0H8k1fOLM6dA-kSlKQotuQoUW29wLNZMaJwM4A/img.gif?width=980" id="14637" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1a417c27d01b1b4c43368cbffc0c35e4" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="250" data-height="188" />life GIFGiphy<p>From a really early age i was considered a bright kid. Now when interacting with people in my daily life, it's generally understood that I come off as pretty smart, but i never had accomplishments that were consistent with that. </p>
College Graduates That Discovered Their Majors Were Useless In The Real World Break Down What They Do Now
The real world is a harsh place. We don't learn that soon enough. When we're younger we believe everything is possible and whatever it is that we want to do for a living is going to be a success. So we head off to school to procure that dream and in school we learn all we can and the dream grows bigger.
Then a little while after graduation, many people realize, the dream is a fantasy and the major they chose maybe more problematic than bountiful. Not many companies are looking for experts in socioeconomic post Russian literature. So maybe a few plans.Redditor u/Mahimah wanted the post college peeps out there to share with us, tell us which degrees may not be the most fruitful in the world. They asked.... College grads who discovered too late that your major is useless in the real world, what do you do now?