Ah, to be a child again. Except not if you have strict parents. Like my dad, for example--because I was the oldest child, I basically existed as the “experiment", so lots of weird disciplinary decisions were made that my younger sister never had to go through.
It seems like a lot of people share my pain. Thanks Reddit, you make me feel less alone. GiuseppeJO3 asked:
How were you disciplined as a child?
Be warned, a lot of these punishments can be a little questionable, to say the least.
This encourages bad emotional habits.
“'Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.'"
“My parents would often use our imaginations against us like this. 'I'm coming upstairs, and not gonna come empty handed,' etc. Sometimes I think Judo-ing our own creativity against us was worse than anything."
Break that chain.
Mothers Day Wtf GIF by IFCGiphy“My mother was a stay at home mom/frustrated housewife who would take her frustrations out on me. I was spanked quite often. One time I kept track and I was struck in some form for 33 straight days. That was the record. She even carried a wooden spoon in her purse for easy access when we weren't at home. Often a wooden spoon would break while she was beating me and that would REALLY piss her off. Looking back, I should have given her a new set of wooden spoons every year for a Mother's Day present to piss her off.
The most confusing thing to me was that I was a GOOD KID!! I was too afraid to be otherwise. When I became older and confronted her, she told me that it was BECAUSE of the beatings that I turned out to be the great person I was.
When I had kids I broke the chain. No beatings. When they wanted to hang out with grandma, I pulled her aside and told her that if she ever laid a hand (or wooden spoon) on them...I would kill her."
Schools are just as guilty.
“As a kid, time out and isolation. It also came with losing points so it took me forever to get to the level where I could talk with my classmates or get up from my desk during breaks.
In High School, they would take away electives.
My parents only punished me if the school complained hard enough. I wasn't bad at home because my parents wouldn't berate me for things I didn't do.”
Other times, disciplinary actions are meant to strengthen character.
THIS is the way to raise a child.
“So many sh*tty parents in the world, hitting, abusing, punishing kids.
When I lived with my uncle he used to lead by example, prepare kids for situations, use time out as a means of emotional regulation, use natural and logical consequences, talk you through things and teach you, be extremely selective about what mattered, understand the stages of child development, and had a huge amount of patience.
Be more like him.
Also, he has 8 kids. All different personalities, all different temperaments, all different challenges, all different levels of hmmm, let's call it 'perseverance'. He's never hit any of us. Don't be coming at me with "oh, but some kids..." or "oh, but some situations...". People hit kids because they want to."
People Break Down The Creepiest Research Holes They've Ever Fallen Down | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Not surprising.
Disappointed Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy“My mom would yell and scream and take our toys/phones away. My dad would sit me down and say "I'm very disappointed in you."
My dad's method was always the most effective.”
Level headed parents are the best.
“I grew up in the 70s with very level headed parents. My dad would just slide his reading glasses down to the end of his nose and say 'well, let's revisit what happened'. No yelling, I think 2 spankings in my life. My husband grew up with a very strict 'whip your a**” Air Force colonel dad.”
“That was my Dad, too, but I much preferred the "2 halfhearted swats on the butt and it's back out to play" vs. "Let's analyze your mistake for evvvver". I was lucky, though, because he raised three kids to adulthood before me so nothing really fazed him.”
Lesson learned.
“I knew where my parents hid the presents for Christmas: under the bed. So one day, age 6, I "casually" roll off of their bed while watching tv with my family. I came up and announced that I saw NOTHING. My very wise mom later figured out what I saw, a Christmas Barbie I REALLY wanted. Next day she takes me to the grocery store where there is a toy drive. She makes me donate that exact doll to the drive.
As an adult, I love this so much. As a kid, I was so so sad. Edit: I still got the doll for Christmas. My mom tricked me. Sorry, important detail.”
Parents- be sure to not traumatize your kids. It’s the bare minimum.
Makes for a very tough childhood.
Get Out Parenting GIF by A24Giphy“I was disciplined by my school.
As far as home is concerned, parents didn't discipline me, they completely controlled me, manipulated me and verbally abused me. I wasn't even allowed to play with friends or do any sports or anything extracurricular.”
……wtf.
“The most common punishment for me as a child was water boarding. I would be dragged by the hair to the kitchen pined of the counter and have water from the sink run over my face until I almost blacked out. This was used for anything from messing up on a chore to talking in the wrong tone of voice. Worst part this was done by foster parents.”
Spanking needs to end.
“I would get spanked in front of people. The worst one in my opinion was getting spanked in front of family members I didn't like. This was followed by teases and encouragement from others that my spanking wasn't enough."
Anyway, sorry to end this on a sad note, but this should be a wake-up call to parents that treat their children this way. They WILL end up seriously traumatized, and that WILL affect them as adults.
I swear, some people don’t deserve to be parents.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor XqueezeMePlease asked:
"What are your immediate thoughts when you hear a guy refer to himself as an 'Alpha Male'?"
People shared their interpretations to hearing a guy declaring himself an alpha.
Self-Granted Permission
"Translation: 'I am going to be an unapologetic a**hole.'”
–darkwulf1
Moving Forward
“I can’t take anything from him seriously from now on.”
– YourLocalOrangePeel
"It's a real life cheat code to make your reputation go to 0%."
– AstronomerNo556
Being A Male
"try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great."
"i will never forget my father telling me 'being a male, does not mean your a man.'"
– tokikain
What is he really saying about himself?
Hiding Insecurity
"That he’s deeply insecure."
– ButternutSnuggleButt
"Narrator: he wasn’t an alpha male."
– Yellowmellowbelly
The Thing About Actual Male Confidence
"The entire sub-culture around 'Alpha Males' is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on 'how to be an alpha' and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an 'alpha'.
"Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed 'alpha.'"
"Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says."
"I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be 'alpha' all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life."
– ccalicich32
Measure Of A Man
"Small dick energy."
– NeoWarriors
You want to stay away from these types of men.
Self-Aggrandizement
"Translation: I’m extremely insecure and need to feel superior and also think woman are property."
– TwistedFate21
Potential For Abuse
"My girlfriend has bruises she lies about"
– AsperaAstra
Code
"'Alpha Male' is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws."
– anon
Public Threat
"Like an alpha of a program or videogame, highly unstable and should not be available to the public."
– Whismurr_
Let's face it. No one using the phrase "alpha male" to describe themselves is going to be likable.
Unless you are desiring to be dominated by a superior alpha under erotic pretenses, you're better off keeping your inner circle exclusively without complete morons.
"What’s the dumbest thing someone accused you of without any evidence?"
You Expect Me To Use This?!?!
"My mother-in-law accused me of buying a sh*tty brand of hair spray, leaving it in our guest bathroom for her to use, and trying to trick her into thinking it was hers."
"She actually brought it to our house the previous time she visited and left it behind. It was totally hers."- thecooley
He Must Have Run Quite The Distance...
"Throwing stones at her goats."
"I would not throw stones at goats, but she went to my mother’s house and accused me."
"She said she had just chased me off after I did it."
"My mother told her that, if that is what she saw, then she would punish me the moment that I got home, if she would like to wait."
"My mother supplied her with tea and biscuits and, later, a light snack."
"Offered her a stronger drink, too."
"After a long time, the goat lady asked if my mother had any idea what time I would be home."
“'Well, he has only been gone a week, so another two weeks, I imagine'.”
"My mother replied, as I went to a boarding school and stayed away for three weeks at a time."- Pedantichrist
Goat Bleating GIFGiphyMaybe She Planted A Bug?
"A college roommate reported me to the campus police for selling drugs."
"She stated that she was in our dorm room and overheard me selling drugs to another student in the laundry room."
"Our dorm room was on the 12th floor, laundry room was in the basement of the building."
"She got pissed when campus police laughed at her statement."- MissConduct0120
How Dare You Not Break The Law To Help Me!
"I once had a co-worker write to my manager to complain I was racist because I wouldn’t pirate a copy of Norton Utilities and give it to her."- Yorkie_Mom_2
Wrong Ex, maybe?
"One time I started getting a bunch of texts from an ex accusing me of being on a trip with some other girl and throwing all kinds of insults my way."
"Not only was she my ex and I was not talking to her or planning to reconcile, so that if I was in fact on a trip with some other girl it was none of her business, but I was actually literally sitting on my couch with my dog watching TV."
"I told her I hadn't the slightest idea of what she was yelling about and sent her a picture of me and my dog in my living room."
"She replied, "F*ck," and I didn't hear from her for weeks until the crazy ultimately outweighed any embarrassment she felt."
"To this day I have no idea why she thought I was on a trip in the first place, especially since her texts were pretty specific and she mentioned where she claimed I was and other details."- Tough_Stretch
Work From Home Dog GIFGiphyCould Have Been Worse?
"I was accused of throwing a potato at a shed, totally not true."- bobbejaan79
They Were At Least Half Right...
"Insubordination for failing to report in to work for over a month."
"I resigned a month earlier."- Fifth_Wall0666·
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
"I was in either first grade or kindergarten, and the chain link fence on the side of our playground had fallen over / caved in."
"Me and my friends looked at it and wondered how it happened."
"Then a teacher came by and yelled at us for breaking the fence and we all got put in time-out for the rest of recess."
"WE WERE 6, HOW WOULD WE MANGLE A CHAIN LINK FENCE WITH OUR HANDS?!"- Rabid_Chocobo
buster keaton fence GIF by MauditGiphySome Might Consider This A Compliment...
"In High School, half the school thought I was Gay, and the other half thought I was a vegetarian."
"I'm neither, and I have no idea how the two related."- Group_of_no_one
When All You Were Doing Was Trying To Help...
"One day when I was in 5th grade a female collie followed me home from school."
"I walked around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but nobody knew whose dog she was."
"I left my neighborhood and crossed a four lane."
"I carried her so she wouldn't get hit by a car (I didn't own a dog leash)."
"After knocking doors and asking around, I had to go home but she just kept following me."
"I picked her back up and carried her back across the four lane, put her down and we walked another block."
"Then the owner pulled up, stopped in the middle of the intersection, got out of his car, and called her."
"She ran to him, and hopped up in the car."
"I told him I'd been trying to find her owners for hours."
"The old bastard said, 'Yeah, someone saw you carrying her'," implying that I stole her."
"Then he plopped his fat a** back in his Cadillac and sped away."
"No good deed..."- TheC0zmo
border collie dog GIF by Rover.comGiphyPunished For Being Poor
"Being a thief because I was a student."
"Money was going missing from the tills in the bar I worked at on some evening and weekends."
"Walked into work and got called out back with the manager."
"Was told money was missing and was suspended there and then."
"I asked when this money went missing and it wasn’t even when I was working!"
"I asked why I was the prime suspect and the managers wife pointed the finger at me because I was a student and therefore must have needed the money."
"About a week later the actual thief was caught red handed putting money from the till into his pocket by the manager."
"This was back the mid 90s so no cameras to view, which would have cleared it up straight away."
"Instead, they cast blame with evidence that actually proved it couldn’t have been me because the times the money went missing, I wasn’t even there, but hey ho."- idiBanashapan
Clearly, these hasty accusers must never have heard the saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Sadly, it's sometimes easier for people to just place blame as fast as they can.
Even if evidence and logic are not on their side.