Years ago, I used to live in a house that was built in the early 1900s. There's something about old houses that can be a bit creepy. Every creak and every groan––especially at night––sounds unnerving, as if there is something out there... watching... and waiting. I even swear I saw a ghost a couple of times (I think he was, given how he appeared, a murder victim of some sort) but I put it out of my head for years. So of course I'm rehashing that fear while getting paid to write silly articles on the internet. What can I say? It's a living.
People revisited the specters of their childhood after Redditor redditor_pro88 asked the online community,
"What paranormal things did you experience during your childhood?"
"From the moment we moved to the house..."
"My house growing up was built in the 1920s. While I can think of several things that can be explained by other things such as sleep paralysis, childlike imagination, creaky pipes, and bad wiring, there's some things that have left me and my family members unsettled. I generally think most hauntings can be explained by natural phenomena and I'm happy to think this could be the case too.
From the moment we moved to the house (I was 6) I absolutely hated my closet. I would cry if my parents didn't close it at night. This fear never went away even when I was a teenager, I always had to have it closed or covered up. I can't explain exactly how genuinely terrifying this feeling was but i always felt watched. My whole family was creeped out by that closet too and generally avoided it.
The upstairs was small and had a landing surrounded by our 3 bedrooms and the bathroom. I would wake up with this oddly unsettled feeling and walk to the landing and stair down into the darkness of the stairs, which was odd as normally if I had to go to the bathroom I would sprint there and back. A few times I would find my brother already standing there but looking up at our attic door instead and I'd have a heart attack.
The weirdest for me was the several times someone in my family heard a voice that sounded like one of us but we weren't there. There were at least two times my dad came into my room annoyed at me for waking him up when I was deep asleep and completely tangled in my bedsheets. He told me that I tapped him hard on the shoulder and very clearly told him to get up and that I needed help but when he opened his eyes I wasn't there and he had to search for me. My brother told me about times he heard me talking in a room but when he checked I wasn't even upstairs. It still gives me chills to think about it.
There were also times I clearly heard the door open and my mom come home and call my brother and me but when we got downstairs no one was home. It would be really odd and we'd both definitely heard it, even with headphones in. Sometimes we'd leave the house because we'd be so freaked out by it.
There are other odd stories of things going completely missing and us finding them odd places months later but I've always just put that down as forgetting where we put it or our cats hiding things. Some of my friends refused to come over after sleeping the night but they wouldn't tell me anything other than the place really creeped them out."
Your friends refused to sleep over?
Time to exorcise the house.
"I searched that night before bed..."
"I was about 9 years old, playing with some Star Trek action figures in my bedroom (yes, I was a cool kid). My room was positioned directly above a guest room that was almost never used and I almost never entered. The furniture was outdated compared to the rest of the house, and it just had a creepy vibe. This will be relevant later.
I had a Spock action figure which broke apart easily. His shirt would snap into two pieces by pressing on the seam, and then all his limbs would fall off. He was easy to repair, so I took him apart often. He'd be used for body parts if I wanted to pretend someone had been killed by an alien.
One day just as I had set up a decidedly gruesome Star Trek scene, my mom called me down for dinner. When I came back upstairs after eating, I noticed that Spock was gone. Just him, though. All the other action figures were still in a little circle exactly as I left them.
I searched that night before bed, thinking my younger brother (my only sibling, who was 2 years old at the time) may have somehow gotten into my room and moved my stuff. It had never happened before, but it was all I could think of. The whole family was at dinner and there was no chance for anyone to go upstairs and move anything.
The next morning, I searched the house for Spock. Nothing. Not put away, not in my brother's room, not in the living room. It was baffling. As a last-ditch effort, I decided to check the guest room. The room looked untouched, as usual. Except for one thing: a dismantled Spock action figure, in the exact same position as I had left it in my room the night prior, directly below where I had been playing with him in my bedroom.
I asked my mom and dad. They claimed to know nothing about it. My younger brother could not have made it down the stairs, and also would not have been able to make the same Spock pile that I had made the previous night. It was as if my toy had just translated a few feet in the z-direction, right through the floor.
I still don't have an explanation."
And you won't get one.
I feel like this could be a "Monkey's Paw" scenario, and I'm here for it.
"My mother told me to visit her friend..."
"My mother took me to visit her friend when I was 8 years old. This friend lived alone in an old house. I was exploring the house and went up the stairs where all the bedrooms were. As I got to the top of the stairs I looked to the far end of the hall and saw an old man standing there. He saw me but he was looking through me (difficult to describe). I knew instantly that something wasn't right because the lower half of his body was not really defined. I raced down the stairs to tell my mother and the friend told her that yes, this is the ghost of the house and he is harmless. I have never forgotten the creepy feeling that I had."
Are you sure they weren't just saying that?
"When I was 11..."
"When I was 11, I was staying with some friends at their cabin deep in the woods (in the middle of rural NOWHERE, like literally not another house for miles). We were playing soccer and my friend yelled and pointed to the trees behind the yard, and we all saw a man standing there in a dirty brown shirt and jeans, who walked towards us and vanished behind a tree. We screamed for their dad and he came running out to see what was wrong and told us to go inside while he looked around.
He found nothing, but we didn't wanna go outside and play again. Later that night we had pretty much calmed down and were watching TV in their living room (which had big glass sliding doors facing the forest) when their dog started growling and barking at something outside the glass doors. He hadn't acted like this before, so we called their dad again and he went outside through the doors and found nothing again, but the dog wouldn't stop barking until a few minutes later."
This is why I won't go into the woods.
I've seen enough horror films to know that's a terrible idea.
"I woke up..."
"I woke up and saw a shadow man run then jump at me while I was in bed. I was so struck with fear I was unable to move but he disappeared right before he landed. The memory was so terrifying I still remember it nearly 30 years later."
I think that's what some people might call a sleep paralysis demon.
Have seen a couple myself. It's not fun.
"But for whatever reason..."
"My great-aunt had a house that was built in 1792. There was an upstairs room that had been made into a sort of playroom for us kids. It was very small, with a sloping ceiling.
Now, this could just have been a kiddo's imagination or a bad dream I had as a child, but I remember before it being a playroom that it was a dying man's room. I remember where his bed was and what he looked like. He was suffering. I could never get comfortable in that room, and I couldn't tolerate more than a few minutes in there alone.
I should add that I'm not a person who believes in the supernatural. I'm open to the possibility, but I've never encountered definitive proof. My husband, who has had paranormal experiences, has had to take me out of places that he thinks are haunted, that's how immune I am to that sort of thing. In supposedly haunted hotels, I sometimes wander the hallways late at night hoping I'll find something to make me believe.
But for whatever reason, I felt something was deeply wrong about that room in my great-aunt's house, and I avoided it unless there was something specific I could duck in quickly and get."
"When I was growing up..."
"When I was growing up I lived in a century home, it was about 115 years old at the time. The house many years back was a funeral showing home, they would hold ceremonies and their viewings. This always creeped me out and may have gotten my imagination running but sometimes I still wonder.
There were a servant's quarters with a separate staircase to the kitchen, oftentimes we would hear footsteps and go check to find nothing there.
Multiple times we would hear the tv upstairs in the servant bedroom connected to the stairs turn on and then off if we went up to the room. It became my parent's room/the master bedroom when we lived there.
A few of my mom's friends told us stories of seeing an old lady in the closet of my sister's room (next to mine) when they stayed over and slept in that bedroom.
My youngest sister would frequently have night terrors and sit up eyes wide open screaming or sulking. Freaked me out big time.
My personal worst experience was what I now believe to have been sleep paralysis. I always slept with a hall light on and my bedroom door open. One night I "woke" up and saw my bedroom door shut slowly as my closet door opened. As this happened a figure of a woman walked to me and sat on my chest staring at me. I tried screaming/calling for my mom but I couldn't get words to vocalize, felt like a whisper/pressure. Eventually, I was able to turn over, and immediately when I did I woke up again and was not rolled over but on my back. The door to the closet was shut and my bedroom door open.
Overall I am personally a nonbeliever and could probably rationalize these experiences/chalk it up to being an imaginative kid. But they still stick with me and make me curious. I haven't experienced anything like this since moving from there. The bottom line is old houses with history are creepy, especially for a child!"
"I saw her when I opened my eyes..."
"The three-headed shadow at the foot of my bed that would move to tuck me in. I saw her when I opened my eyes some nights. It shouldn't have been, I called it a "shouldn't be," but I was never really in danger. I also knew each head was meant to represent my grandmother and two grand aunts but they were not them. They were something else."
It's funny how our dreams can tell us things without explciitly voicing them out loud.
"I have always insisted..."
"I have always insisted that the house I lived in until I was 8 is creepy. It was only a year or two ago that my family casually mentioned that it was built where a Victorian maternity ward used to be. So, it's mildly possible that ghost babies haunted me."
So... still want to purchase that creepy house that the locals say was built atop an old Native American burial ground? Still want to go spend time in that cabin in the woods near the site of all those murders?
You're braver than I. But if you do survive a night (or two) be sure to report back. You're bound to have seen something.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
One second. One moment. One decision.
They can change... everything.
Change happens with and without notice. Life happens instantly, so we have to learn to keep up.
These are all lessons we learn too late. We need more wisdom when we're younger.
We can make our lives better from the smallest decisions without knowing. But, let's start knowing.
Life will be the better for it.
Redditor ChrisVIII wanted to discuss the best ways to make living better, in the most simple of ways.
"What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?"
Pay attention in school.
Don't drink and drive.
Two very small and life altering decisions I wish I could've done better.
"Walking. After years of trying to run, I simply started walking. 5-7 miles a day in good weather. It is literally life changing in terms of mental and physical health." ~ Merlin560Giphy
"Adopted my block. (adoptoneblock.org) Instead of being sad about trash everywhere, I go out a couple times a week with a grabber and a bucket and just clean it up. Fresh air, a chance to connect with neighbors in a positive way, eyes on the street, neighborhood looks nicer and feels safer, zero downside."
"Adoptoneblock might only be in Oregon, but a picker is like 20 bucks for a good one (I recommend Arcmate brand; they're metal inside and last forever) and 5-gallon buckets are everywhere. Even if you only do the block around your house, it makes a huge difference. Imagine if every block got adopted." ~ binkkit
"helping people out"
"I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do." ~ VinnyRuns
"Holy sh*t me too! I used to do hair and eventually once I was working for myself I would say yes to literally everything all the time. Including 'helping people out' and stuff like that. I loved making people happy but I eventually got more and more miserable and ended up with a pretty heavy drug addiction."
"A bunch of years later and some really helpful therapy and I work a job that I actually love and no longer do hair for anyone other than my girlfriend or very close family. Only took 16 years of doing something I didn't really love to finally break and make the changes I needed to get what I want out of life." ~ arcaneresistance
"Taking a yearly vacation. My family never traveled growing up so I didn't know what I was missing out on but I have a good paying job with time off benefits and my wife and I have been taking a vacation every year since we got married, even if it's just something simple the time away from the usual day-to-day does wonders." ~ brshimp
"Turning off all push notifications except for essentials like financial apps or important contacts." ~ cyan_reynoldsGiphy
I'm learning so much already.
And HOW do I turn off those notifications?
"Drinking water first thing in the morning and through the day." ~ FuriousBebochoGiphy
"Swallowed my pride and got a blue collar job. For almost 20 years I followed my mother's advice, work inside so it's warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's warm outside. Now I deliver packages outside and the weather doesn't bother me. I have no boss on my shoulder and I can do my job however I want." ~ veldrinshade
"CPAP machine. If you snore at all, you owe it to yourself to get a sleep study and see what is going on. It literally changed my life getting one. I went from constant caffeine throughout the day just to function to feeling rested for the first time in years. Especially if you are overweight like I am, your heart is stopping multiple times an hour as you struggle to breathe while snoring."
"It sucks getting used to the machine (especially if you have to wear the full face mask), but man that first night of actual deep sleep will be life changing. I cannot recommend it enough and I have convinced at least 5 people that I know to get one and they all say the same thing, should have done it years ago." ~ bonez59054
The Top View
"Quit my job and moved to the mountains. I realized I cared more about what I did with my free time than whatever work I did, so I got a job where my SO and I wanted to live. We live in a cute mountain town now and every day watching the sunrise at home gives me 1000% more happiness than anything ever in Illinois." ~ starciv14
For the Zzzzzsss....
"A good bed. Game changer." ~ DividebynegativezeroGiphy
Water and bedding are essentials to happy living.
Don't be afraid, you can always start doing better now.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.