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Teachers Share Their 'This Child Is A Sociopath' Experiences

Normally, we would opt to start an article with a witty bit of humor. We try to keep it light around here. This isn't going to be that article, though.


Children who are mentally or emotionally atypical can struggle when it comes to school. Finding the right environment for them to thrive can be a challenge. Unless and until the right fit is found, there are bound to be incidents.

Reddit user Ranakisnthere asked about those incidents when they posted this question:

Teachers of Reddit, what are your stories of, "Oh god, this child is a sociopath"?


The responses could sometimes be intense and are not for the easily unsettled.

Already Dead

I have a million stories of students who say borderline sociopathic stuff, but the worst thing I've ever heard to date was:

"I can't be trusted with knives. My mommy hides all knives in the house from me because I've tried to stab everything and everyone. I know if I stab an animal or a person too much they might die. This would mean I'd go to jail and I don't think I could make it in jail. So I want to find a dead body and stab it over and over again. This way I know I won't get in too much trouble cause the person was already dead."

She was only nine.

-itsbitsyspiders

All For Attention

This one happened just the other day and, obviously, I'm going to be anonymous about it to protect the child's identity. Let's call her Abby.

So, I'm driving a minibus of students home from a basketball practice when suddenly Abby starts screaming, "did that have peanuts in it!? I'm allergic to peanuts!" She begins hyperventilating and crying and actually makes me pull over so she can get off the bus and throw up. We're about 15 minutes from the school and I'm literally having a panic attack.

So, I call the principal and ask what should I do? Do we have an Epi-pen on hand at the school, ect. She seems confused and puts Abby's grandmother on, who tells me she wasn't aware her granddaughter, who is claiming she can barely breath, HAD any allergies.

When we got back to the school I was about ready to faint and the principal brings out her registration paperwork to show me: no listed allergies. She isn't allergic to anything, it was all an act. The hyperventilating, the crying, even the throwing up, was all for attention.

- Typofest

The First Seven Months

Giphy

So I am not entirely sure if this is sociopath or psychopath but I had a child that was creepily into my pregnancy for the first 7 months.The child was a Male. 10 years old. He wanted to name her, talked to my belly, etc.

Then one day it clicked that I would leave to take care of the baby once the child was born. He got really close to me and whispered, "When you come out, I'm going to kill you with a hammer. I hate you."

I was shocked, so I took him with me to the office. The LSSP asked why he said that. He replied that, "It will take her away. I want it to die so she stays here."


He was on a lot of medication for his incredibly violent tendencies. He had tried to kill his sister before by pushing her in front of a bus. His mother kept him locked in his room at night because she had found him standing over her with a knife.

The last I saw of that child, he was being carried down the hall by two grown men and giving them a run for their money. He had attempted to kill the school's police dog with a pair of scissors. He was screaming and ranting that he would "kill all of you MFers!"

He ended up being committed after a long series of events that involved MHMR and CPS. I will never forget his poor mother crying in our final meeting and asking what she had done wrong. Her other two children were neurotypical and absolute delights. I had taught both of them previously. It still makes me tear up sometimes.

- Katydid2335

Waiting For The Opportunity

I had a student while I was doing my student teaching (8th grade). He was constantly in trouble, but during the times he WAS in class, he just stared off with the most vacant look in his eyes, it truly scared me. It was downright creepy.

One day he was up at the whiteboard writing some stuff (I think it was correcting sentences) with a bunch of other kids who were doing the same thing. I wasn't watching the kids at the board, and all of a sudden I hear this blood curdling scream and look over - he had brought a hypodermic needle and had stabbed the girl next to him in the leg.

He had been holding it in his hand the entire time, just waiting for the opportunity to stick someone. It was, of course, terrible, but the girl turned out okay. The worst part, besides that, was how he laughed when security came to get him ... Ugh, I'm shuddering now just thinking about it.

- DTownForever

Fear For His Future

I taught a 4 year old boy who actually scared me because I fear what his future will be. I can see him ended up doing some awful things to people.

He would try and kiss and hug girls and when they didn't want to, he'd hold them tightly and try to anyway, even if they loudly protested. I explained that there is no kissing in school and if someone doesn't want to hug, they absolutely do not have to. I also said that some people don't like hugging. He said "Well I want her to! So she will!"

He just couldn't understand boundaries of any kind. This is just one tiny example of the things he did. His behavior with other students boundaries was so bad that molestation at home was one of the things that crossed our minds at the school.

I logged all of his behaviours (this took hours and I had to do the logs multiple times a day). This school has a specific safeguarding leader who works with the police to investigate concerns. They follow a specific referral policy and referred this on. Investigations showed no concerns about his home life.

I did refer him for evaluation as I believe he has autism and he's undergoing assessment now and awaiting a diagnosis but I worry there's something else there with him.

He would also watch other children to see how he 'should' act. For example, a child might be sad and another child comforts them. He would copy this behaviour but totally exaggerate it. Like completely over the top and use it as an excuse to touch others - mainly girls. He never showed any genuine emotion other than anger and jealousy.

He had a very scary look in his eyes and I've never met another child like him.

- Barney1012

Shark-eye

Giphy

I was often substituting a special needs class, 6-7 boys about 8-10 years old. The days were normally lively but I always had everything under control and the boys had learned to trust me and at least tried to do what I told them to. Never had any real problems, just normal stuff.

Then one time there was a new boy in the class. Their teacher had written me a note that said to keep a close eye on him at all times. He had the telltale features of a FAS child and small, black eyes like a shark. He never showed any emotion whatsoever excluding immense excitement if someone else got hurt in any way.

Few days passed without any incidents and then, out of the blue he stands up in the middle of class, yanks the much smaller guy sitting in front of him down with his chair from behind and starts to pummel him in the face with his fists. I ran to intervene and grabbed him off and set him in a corner ordering one of the trustworthy boys to run and get the principal here, NOW! The attacker stood in the corner, emotionless as ever and completely calm. I turned to check out the crying kid on the floor and miraculously he seemed unharmed but was just shaken uo by the surprise attack. I sat down on the floor to calm him down and to help him up. Next thing I know is the shark-eye kid standing beside me and stabbing me on the leg with my teacher scissors (the only pointy ones in the classroom).

It was then when I realized why the attacked kid wasn't badly hurt. Shark-eye was big for his age but he had no physical strength at all. I didn't even get a bruise from his stab, my trusty Lee's jeans stopped the blade which I instantly took from him.

I threw the scissors on top of a high shelf and ordered everyone else out of the classroom to wait for the principal's arrival while I watched over Shark-eye. Boys ran out, Shark-eye looked at me curiously for a few seconds and sat down at his desk and continued his math assignments like nothing had happened.

I asked him quite sternly what had made him attack a fellow student. Shark-eye lifted his empty gaze and said "I heard him laughing at the school cafeteria. I thought he could have been laughing at me. Can we play football today in PE class?"

The boy had no empathy nor remorse. The episode meant absolutely nothing to him. When the principal arrived we went through the situation and the class affirmed my description or events as they had happened. Shark-eyes' mom picked him up early and he stayed at home for a few days. The principal told me that this was not the first such incident and that the boy was on queue for a hospital school class. The principal commended me for my actions (I was very young at the time) and was surprised that I had been able to keep my cool even after getting stabbed, even if the attempt had been pitiful.

Turned out that's my teacher superpower. I never lose it. Even when I've been spit at, got chairs thrown at me, someone trying to gouge my eyes out while holding them (more than once) etc. Luckily the years in the same school have accumulated my reputation and nowadays it's very rare that someone even dares to try to mess with me.

This incident was nearly 20 years ago but I'll never forget it.

- Lorindol

Through The Years

Met this kid when he was two and a half, and he was already messed up. Super manipulative. He would chase the other kids, trying to hit or kick them. He crafted pretty convincing lies to get other kids in trouble, or blame them for things he did. He did it so well that it often was impossible to KNOW it was a lie, other than that you knew it was him because it was always him. At nap time he would get off the cots and try to body slam all the kids trying to sleep, if you sat with him he would try to kick you in the face, if you tried to control him (by restraining him or something like that) he'd scream that you were hurting him and my director would come in and threaten to write us up if we touched him again. Nap time was terrible.

At three he continued the above behaviors but started adding in creepy threats. He told my co-teacher he was going to get a gun online, and the post man was going to bring it to his house, and he would hide it in his backpack and bring it to school and shoot her in the head when she wasn't looking. He told another teacher he was going to bring a hammer and hit her until her head looked like applesauce.

At four he was STILL doing all the above creepy sh!t but also was now big enough to throw chairs across the room, and had discovered gouging people's skin off with his fingernails and biting. He was not allowed to have anything even remotely sharp, ever. We pretty much had to be constantly watching him, despite having 19 other kids with two teachers (the ratio at 4 and up was 10 kids per teacher).

During all of the above behaviors he would intersperse periods of being very sweet. As a teacher, who wants the best for kids and believes they all deserve love and a place to feel safe, you'd think "finally! He's opening up to me! We can work with this! We can help him!!" Even, selfishly, "I'm the teacher who finally got to him!" but that was only new teachers, and we all fell for it at least once. Inevitably it turned out he was using it to get away with things, and when you'd take another kids side on something where he was clearly in the wrong he'd say "but I thought you liked me now? I thought you liked me... You hate me don't you. Nobody loves me" while crying. If you made it clear you didn't buy that, he'd pretty much just scream at you and then turn back into the terror he was. It was just an emotional f-ing rollercoaster with this kid, honestly. Always holding out hope eventually that little phase of being nice would be the real deal, the time you'd really actually really reached him...


By five he still wasn't potty trained (he refused, mostly, but when we pushed the matter his grandma got mad and told us never to put him in underwear). One day he showed up with stitches on his face, his grandma said he'd been bitten in the face by their dog and she was going to have it put down. We all immediately wondered what he'd done to the dog. (For what it's worth I convinced her to rehome the dog and unless she was a manipulative lying little person like her grandson, I like to believe she was telling the truth.) We had real scissors in the pre-k room and licensing says that all art materials had to be available at all times (this includes paint and chalk, which was a headache to manage all by itself). We had to watch him because he often tried to stab people. The director wouldn't listen to reason in regards to putting them up because of him, we were just supposed to do a better job "controlling the classroom." He started talking about genitals and asking sexual questions. His grandma insisted we were teaching him this behavior and refused to answer any questions that intimated

We had all called CPS multiple times about this kid, and had never seen any follow through. I had been refusing to work in the room with him anymore because I often had bruises and scratch marks and nothing was being done to support us, we were just supposed to redirect him. If we couldn't control him without saying "no" or using time out or restraining him in ANY way we got in trouble, we were only supposed to "redirect." IE give him special treats, thereby further encouraging the behavior AND making the other kids feel they had to replicate such behavior if they also wanted special toys, activities, food, whatever.

However, when he was about 5 and a half we had gotten a new director who immediately decided he was a danger to the other kids and we couldn't control him with any tools we were authorized to use. She suggested he get some outside help and perhaps reduce his time with us until his behavior improved. His grandma withdrew him instead, screaming the whole time about how we always hated her and her baby and now he wasn't going to have anyone to watch him and he was gonna get worse because we abandoned him etc etc.

I really hope that little boy got help. He was a danger from before most kids were forming full sentences, and continued getting worse. I hope he got removed from the toxic environment he was in and got all the help he could get. However, I will not be surprised to see his name in the newspaper someday soon connected to a violent crime or two. He would be 11 or 12 by now.

- Still_Day

Carrying Out An Experiment

I have seen students display all sorts of extreme behaviour over the past 20 years, teaching teenagers in challenging schools.

The one kid that I was convinced was a psychopath, just quietly refused to do anything he didn't want to do. I never saw him angry, and yet I did see him hit people and say awful things to them. He was always eerily calm.

He was tiny and very cute but he used to manipulate people and then watch chaos unfold with these huge unblinking puppy-dog eyes, just studying it all. It was like he was carrying out an experiment.

ANYWAY that was when he was about 14. He's 19 now and serving a life sentence for a horrific gang murder.

- randidentressangle

Cameras And Microphones

Story from a friend. As the new teacher he got stuck doing after school detention a lot his first year as a high school teacher. He didn't mind because he always stays late anyway with paperwork. Now at some point he had only one student for detention and he says she is the worst human being he's ever met.

She tried to blackmail him. Told him that either he would mark her as having attended the detention and all future detentions - or she was going to say that he assaulted her. Luckily for him there's both cameras and microphones in the classrooms. So that never happened and he did report it to the principal.

She was later expelled for bringing a knife to school and cutting another girls ponytail off in the bathroom.

- psycospaz

Fast forward 5 years, when I was away at college, my mom's friend's daughter also went there (senior when I was a freshman), and I guess he had been stalking her for years. He moved from our hometown to the town she went to college in, where I had just moved. She had filed restraining orders and orders of protection against him ,but he would just violate them and serve the time - it didn't bother him. I was terrified that he would find out I lived there, and make me his next victim since she was graduating soon. Luckily he never did, and I hadn't heard anything about him until recently.

A friend of mine is now the guidance counselor at my old high school. He was reading up on some old files regarding students that are flagged if they ever come back to the school. He was one of them, and the reasons give me chills. He had apparently told one of the teachers/coaches that he loved him, so that he would let him know before he bombed the school, so that he could make sure he wasn't there when it happened. He also was found with a "hit list" of all of the people, teachers and students both, that he wanted to kill, with detail of how he would kill them. I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this - yep, I was on his list. It makes me sick that I was never told about this, and that they let him continue going to the school, instead of expelling him. I have no idea why he wasn't expelled.

- mskon32

Plot Twist

So I have this kid, moved from another country two years ago and I got him this year. Was warned that he was difficult. We hit it off quite well, he is difficult and loud, but manageable. Out of a sudden he wants to talk to me alone, and starts crying the moment we are alone. He starts to tell me his life story - from being neglected by his stepfather, who is abusive towards him, and that social services were already involved, so they moved and so on.

But he didn't want me to do anything in case it got worse. I got in touch with the psych team and my boss, and we were discussing how to move forward. We decided to talk to the parents first to get a feel for the situation, so I invited them for a talk and WOW. The mother was nearly burned out, the step dad started crying because apparently their son was tyrannical and making their lives a living hell.

I was not expecting this.

Child Protective Services and psych professionals were already involved. His whole story is made up. It is a messy situation. The baggage the boy carries is immense, and yet, I have seen how aggressive he gets when things don't go his way.

I also learned that what he told me "in private" is something he basically tells everyone he meets, and people believe him so his parents are quite shunned in this small town they moved to. Never seen anything like it. He has a psych eval scheduled and his parents are eligible to get a home assistant, so we'll hope it helps.

- asteigh

That Calm Look

Giphy

I worked in our "Exceptional Children's" department for 8 years. During that time, I was the only male in our department and we had some kids with issues that needed constant supervision. One of these kids, I'll call him John, was a really special case. He was a fifth grader at the time. He lived at home with his mom and dad who was one of these work from home auto mechanics. They seemed like decent enough people, but they had no ability to deal with John's behaviors.

Anyway, John was not good in class, so my job was to sit with him and make sure he did his best. We kind of got to be friends. He liked having an adult around. But he was also way behind in school because of how much time he'd missed, both from his parents not sending him and for the times when he'd been suspended. So trying to get him to pay attention in class was a challenge. I kept up with his work, and spent extra time trying to help him figure stuff out. Once he got a concept, he would be very happy and I worked it with my superiors that good work and good behavior got him 10 extra minutes outside, which he loved. It was the only non-food incentive I could work up for him. When he was happy, he did his work as best as possible. But he also got frustrated, especially when his teacher would assign a lot of pages of practice work. He had to do it too, and he hated it and I could just see him quivering for some way to get out of the work. Secretly, at that point, since I knew that forcing him to do work was going to cause an issue (it always did) I wondered why they didn't just let him sit in class and doodle so he would stay calm.)

One day, we were sitting in a small group, and a few of his classmates were hanging with him, trying to help him. It was really nice, because the kids really wanted him to do well. I remember thinking to myself this is usually when the bottom falls out. I was right. John got up and went to sharpen his pencil. He was over there for a while trying to get a good point on it. That's what happens, you know. It was 2 p.m. and it was a Friday, so I was really hoping that he'd keep up the behavior until the buses came. Make a good close to the week.

He came back to his seat, wrote something on his paper, and then in one move, he grabbed the little girl beside him on his right by the back of her head, hair and all and yanked it back. The rest happened in the slowest possible motion.

John took the pencil in his left hand like a dagger... He was going to put the pencil into this girl's eye. It was the most reasonable target, he later said. I reached over and grabbed the hand with the pencil and bent it back and away, forcing him to drop it. I applied pressure to the nerve above his elbow of the right hand he was holding the girl by the hair with and he let go. I got him to the floor in what we had been trained to do as a "therapeutic" hold. The teacher meanwhile ran to get help. Students ran to one side of the room, well away from us. One boy took the pencil and dashed the point against the wall. I'll never forget that part as long as I live.

So, there I am and John is as limp as a boned fish (pardon the cliche') and he's as calm as can be. He looks up at me from this position and says, "I was bored and wanted to see what would happen if I stabbed her in the eye. I was just wondering. That's all. That's all!"

He really didn't seem to get what the big deal was.

So, the police came. The girl's parents were notified, John's parents were notified, the principal gathers us and we all go to the conference room and the whole thing is rehashed. The teacher of the class explained everything. I explained my part. When they asked John, in front of his parents, he told us all the same thing he told me. He didn't get what the problem was. I saw abject horror on his mother's face, then. His father's face was something else. At that point I thought it was recognition or familiarity, as though this wasn't something new for John (or the father), but now I think I saw something like dark pride, there. But memories don't hold their detail and I may have added that later.

John was suspended and the parents of the girl pressed charges. After the suspension, he was allowed back, but he had to be in a room away from all students. The judge (when the event finally came before the courts) ruled John was just a misbehaved kid and gave him a stern lecture and some community service and probation. A few months later, school was out for the summer and I think that he wound up being "home schooled" which in his parent's speak meant left to his own devices.

Several years later, and well away from that foray into childhood violence, John showed up on the front page of our local paper. He was 21, now and had gotten into trouble a bunch in the intervening years, but the worst was indecent liberties with a minor, aggravated assault, assault and battery, and a few other things, all one situation, apparently. The photo in the paper, his mugshot, was the same face he had as he calmly explained to me that he had just been bored and wanted to see what would happen. The same calm, even face of a person who was definitely not in touch with the fact that other people have feelings. Worst part was that aside from his behavior was likable.

This is awful, but I knew then, and I know better now, that this was a sociopath/psychopath in the making and I was there for his first adventure into human harm. He's a human, of course, and was a 12 year old, then, but it seemed pretty obvious that he would wind up hurting someone else.

That's the worse part for me, even now. I knew (and so did my coworkers) all too well that he would soon enough get bored again and try to hurt another child. I was there when it counted, once, but I wouldn't be the next time. And I knew very well that would always be a next time with John.

He wound up getting 8 years in the local prison. I later heard from an old colleague more of his back story.
His mom killed herself, left a long note about how she didn't have the will to live having brought such a nightmare child into the world. His father wound up having a bunch of floozies over all the time and got into selling meth (not a big surprise) they felt pretty sure that John got to see all kinds of fun stuff. The house burned down and he went to live with an uncle. Anyway, in the long run, he'd gotten into trouble, a few pets killed, a few fights with neighbors, one assault and wound up in juvie.


I'm no longer a teacher, though I do visit schools in a professional capacity for my current career. I will say this, however, I was attacked personally four times, had to stop violence countless times and dealt with all kinds of angry and frustrated behavior from kids in elementary schools. These were rarely kids from adjusted and caring homes. Even poor kids from broken homes had issues with behavior occasionally. But the kind of systemic, brutal behavior from some of the children I knew or worked with was a direct result of homes that were likely to cause toxic stress. It's difficult to characterize just how serious this problem is for some students. It's not a happy thought, but it is happening.

I had PTSD for several years after all this (and other things I dealt with-including teacher abuse) and I admire and respect teachers that have to leave because they cannot take it anymore. I couldn't and I got out when I could.
I have even more respect for teachers who can stay in and make a difference day in and out.

- davebare

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions

Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'

silhouette photography of couple
Sean Stratton on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.

Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.

However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.

I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:

"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"

It's Just A Joke!

"No cruel or rude pranks."

– detective_kiara

"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."

– innocuousspeculation

We're (Not) Gonna Party!

"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."

– PlantBasedStangl

"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."

– PlantBasedStangl

LOL

"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."

– Legendary_Lamb2020

My Ears Are Bleeding!

"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."

– YourLocalOrca

At that point, it does sound like them 😂

– CuriousRedditor98

Funemployed

"Have a f**king job."

– Cuss-Mustard

"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."

"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"

"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"

"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."

– DigNitty

"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."

– Pinsit

Just Breathe

"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."

–fishfood19

"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."

– Jonowl89

That'll Do It

"I guess my husband restricts my dating."

– HeinousEncephalon

"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"

– AuralRapist

Prehistoric Love

"Must like dinosaurs."

– Grungeceratops

"That goes without saying."

– Plain_Chacalaca

What's In A Name?

"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."

– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."

– severaltalkingducks

Be Polite

"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."

"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."

– OctopusCandleCompany

God Only Knows

"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."

"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."

– Lulu_42

"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."

– Alcoraiden

Let's Move Tonight (Literally)

"They need to be ok with cold weather."

"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."

"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."

– ThePresidentCantSwim

"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."

– Partner-Elijah

My Purr-fect Match

"Cat has to approve."

– Possible-Source-2454

Non-Negotiable

"They need to be male. Kind of important."

– RMHaney

"So weird, I want the complete opposite."

– eightvo

Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

Life is full of shock and surprise.

Apparently, that is part of the fun.

Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?

We always think we're immune to way too many things.

Anything and everything is possible.

It's important to be ready.

Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:

"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"

I haven't been left that shocked that often.

I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.

But you never know.

I'm Dead

Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy

"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."

"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."

amanitachill

Crash Into Me

"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."

aster636

"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."

anjie59k

Hot Air

Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy

"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."

GymDoll2000

"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."

Environmental-Car481

This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.

Always have. Always will.

Tragic

Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy

"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."

Tssodie

Bad Penguin

"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."

"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."

archaeologistbarbie

All Gone

"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."

"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."

toomuchisjustenough

Good Luck

"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."

jumbospicyslimjim

"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"

frappbarqueen

Early Michael Myers

"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."

Mr_Spaghetti_Hands

Bad Landing

Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy

"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."

Competitive_Show6205

This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"

They are minions of the devil.

Person cooking in home kitchen
Conscious Design on Unsplash

We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.

From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.

Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:

"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"

Fly Spray Sandwiches

"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."

"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."

"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."

- littlehungrygiraffe

Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs

"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."

- PhoneboothLynn

A Disturbing Surprise

"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."

"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."

- MrRailton

In Need of Child Protective Services

"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."

"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."

"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."

- Alltheprettydresses

Traumatized by Raisins

"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."

- tcumber

"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."

- User2716057

You WISH That Was Vinegar

"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."

"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."

- 116843189

Poor Home Hygiene

"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."

- MinimalistHomestead

Every Surface Covered

"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."

"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."

"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"

"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."

- KnittinAndB***hin

O Holy Expiration Dates

"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."

"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"

- SundayMorningTrisha

An Immune System to Remember

"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."

"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."

"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."

"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."

- tha_stormin_mormon

Neighborly Love

"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."

"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."

"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."

"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."

"Some people need help and a little company…"

- SnooPeripherals6557

No Longer Rice

"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."

"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"

"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."

- justad**nfool

"Those cats probably used it as litter."

- Anonymanx

"Yeah, that was my fear."

- justad**nfool

Could Have Warned Her

"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."

"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."

"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."

- smoothiefruit

"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"

- whydontthissitework

Bad to the Point of Malnutrition

"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."

"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."

"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."

"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."

"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."

"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."

"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."

- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

Clean Hands

"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."

"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."

- SafewordisJohnCandy

We're left with chills after reading these stories.

Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.