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When someone cheats on you, you might find yourself experiencing feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment. Toxic thoughts abound; will you ever be able to trust again?

That final one ultimately depends on the person, but there's no doubt a cheating partner can change the course of a relationship or even a life as we discovered after Redditor DEDCMDM94 asked the online community, "What is your "accidentally caught your spouse" cheating horror story?"

We can't help but feel terrible for these people.


"He was so exhausted..."

Not me but a medical resident who I met on rotation recently. One of the nicest guy I ever met, super intelligent and hardworking, and training to be a trauma surgeon but humble as they come. He had been married for 2 years to his wife. One night he gets off a 30 hour call early and heads home to surprise his wife with some flowers and her favorite dessert (it was the anniversary of the day they first met). Only to find her in bed with a random dude.

He was so exhausted and confused, he didn't know what to do and just left and went back to the hospital. I saw him at 5AM, sitting in the parking lot, hunched over crying. He didn't even have his phone with him, he was just sitting there. Man, nothing breaks your heart more than seeing a grown man cry, it's not something you see often. We called his dad up and he came and picked him up, the guy ended up taking a leave from his residency. Turns out, it wasn't the wife's first time sleeping around. Hope he gets back on his feet, he will make an amazing physician.

joppike

"Had a really close group of friends..."

Had a really close group of friends who would always prank each other. One of my mates found out the Facebook password of another, so while on Skype the whole call - included myself, logged into his Facebook account (being 7 people) to make a stupid status. At the same time my partner of 5 years was messaging him on Facebook about how good sex was last night and about meeting up again.

Smitity

"15 years later..."

Walked in on my girlfriend while she was having sex with another guy. "What are you doing here?!" she says. "You gave me a key, remember? I ended up not working today and wanted to surprise you."

15 years later she reaches out, leaves me a message that she'd like to talk. I figure she's doing some 12-step thing or something and wants to make amends.

Nope. She wanted to try and sell me on Amway.

EBone12355

"They had to evacuate..."

Mt St Augustine erupted in Alaska in 1986. They had to evacuate all planes out of Elmendorf AFB due to ash in the air. This sent my unit home from Korea 3 days early. I got home at 2 AM and there was a guy sleeping next to my wife in our bed.

AlaskaDon

"Written on the first page..."

Found my wife's notebook. Written on the first page was a 10-step plan detailing how she was going to leave me for another guy.

I turned it into one step.

decorama

"We argued..."

Came home early. They were fast enough to get dressed but not in a natural state of being, if that makes sense. It was obvious something was just going down. Very cliched "got walked in on and tried to play it cool" like you see in tv. I asked him to leave and he did.

We argued, she tried to lie but soon confessed. It wasn't the first time she cheated but it was the first time that I caught her in the act. Everything in the past was just texts and stuff. She said that she never slept with the other people and it was just pics and flirting. In retrospect, that may not be BS.

We divorced, both remarried. Not friends by any stretch, but civil.

fatherleadfoot

"Went to log into email..."

Went to log into email and a suggested one that I didn't recognize popped up. I answered all his security questions, and reset his password to find emails between him and the neighbor. We were in therapy to recover from him cheating with her and there they were waxing poetic about their love and when I'd be out of the house so they could be together. The actual horror sorry is that our 7 year old daughter is the one who accidentally caught them originally by walking into our bedroom while I was at work.

JillStinkEye

"Girlfriend ran over her phone..."

Girlfriend ran over her phone by accident and destroyed the screen.

Asked me to backup all her stuff and transfer it to her new Pixel.

Use backup tool that captures all sorts of dirty messages and nudes with another guy.

toronto_programmer

"Apparently..."

Dating this girl a few years back and I became really good friends with her brother just because he appreciated my help during a difficult time for their family (their father had abruptly passed away).

2 years into the relationship the brother contacts me and asks to meet up for coffee and a serious conversation.

Apparently HE caught his own sister with another guy (mutual friend of ours) and this sh!t had been going on for like a year.

As soon as he found out, I was told.

Broke up with her. Still friends with her brother. Go figure.

bboysamsung

"He ran out..."

Came back from a trip four hours early. Wife was supposed to be at work still. Opened the front door to see her sitting topless on the couch making out with a coworker.

He ran out the door; she ran into a bathroom and locked the door.

Sat on that couch for about an hour because I couldn't think what else to do. Finally just up and left, so she could come out of the bathroom and put a shirt on.

NovaPokeDad

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Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

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