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Cheating Husband Drains Joint Accounts And Wants To Kick Wife and Kids Out Of House, And The Internet Can't Even

Some people are just rotten, and that's no exception for this man who is putting his family through h***. He is pulling all the sleazy stops and no one can believe it!

u/brokenandconfused8 tells us My husband drained our accounts and wants to kick the kids and I out of the house in a week.

This is how it all went down:

HI- they told me in r/relationships that this is illegal, and that you guys would have advice. We're in Ohio. I need a divorce lawyer. On Wednesday, I bought him a f******* Christmas present. On Thursday, I found out he gave me a STI. On Friday, he admitted he's been cheating. Yesterday, he drained our accounts. He says I need to be out of the house by Christmas Eve.

We have four kids, 8, 6, 5 and 2. I haven't worked since the oldest was born. Our relationship has been bad since before my youngest daughter was born - we hadn't meant to get pregnant. This week, I tested positive for an STI.

I investigated, confronted him and he admitted it. We had a huge fight, he stormed out of the house. Yesterday, my credit card was declined at the grocery store, and I couldn't get cash. He has EMPTIED all of our accounts. I was in charge of the bills and finances; I know exactly how much was in our checking, savings and money market account. He's changed his password for his 401(k). He didn't respond to my frantic texts all day, but just sent me an email saying I had a week to get myself and "my kids" out of "his house", and I had better get a job or go "back to my parents" if I expect to feed them. We bought the house together, before the kids were born and I paid half of the down payment. I have no money or credit cards, so I can't even get a lawyer. I am sitting here staring at a Christmas tree, crying and wondering if I'll have to return my children's presents for food.

I have no idea how this happened. I live two hours away from my family, so even if I got a job, I'd have to pay for day care. Should I sell my wedding and engagement rings? Do I make a resume and apply for a job in my old field (accounting) or just get a job at Starbucks or McDonald's? Can he do this?

He simply can't


Do not move out until your attorney tells you to or a judge orders you out. That house is likely as much yours as it is his, and, if so, he cannot evict you for any reason.


Some important things to cover!

Sorry to hear your SO is doing this, couple of non-financial things to consider:

  • change your passwords to your email / private / and social media accounts
  • change security questions to your email / private / and social media accounts
  • back up your text messages / contacts / pictures from your phone now, in the event SO turns off phone / locks you out of account, disables phone
  • consider changing passwords to any child accounts you have ( Facebook, Imgur, etc...)
  • I personally recommend taking inventory of household items (pictures and upload to gdrive or Dropbox), in the event they do something stupid like donate everything to homeless shelter. When you have to determine replacement value, you can say: 52 inch Vizio Tv instead of big screen tv
  • items that are of sentimental value (like family bible or what not) store offsite if you can
  • if you have neighbors who you are friendly with, ask them to keep an eye out on things at the house. Call you if you run to the store and SO shows up and changes locks real quick. Also make sure they have your family friends contact info and under what scenarios you'd like they to call on your behalf
  • Always keep your personal identification on you (SSN, birth certificate, ID, passport, etc...), don't let them hijack your identity
  • NEVER EVER EVER sign any document without it being reviewed by a lawyer first
  • as hard as it maybe, try not to bad mouth your SO, discuss situation openly in front of kids.

as far as getting back into the workplace, some local library systems have online learning access that can help give you a last minute boost to your resume (word, excel, power point online courses)


His timing makes fighting back difficult

The good news: In most every state (if not all) what he's doing is against state statute.


First things first

You need to get an attorney. I'm sure there is some kind of program to help women in your situation. If not, then there is some attorney out there who will be able to help you.

I highly recommend you file for divorce promptly and get temporary orders for child support, maintenance (alimony), temporary payment of the bills (mortgage, utilities, credit cards, etc), and temporary possession of the marital residence started asap.


The odds are against him


He can't just kick you out. But if you leave you may give up some rights to the house. Also the court will not like him draining the account.

Go to an attorney tomorrow. Borrow money if you have to.


Cover all your bases

OP I hope you already have, But also be sure to change all of your email / social media passwords and back up your texts. You need to be able to save every form of communication that he sends you.


Think about the kids

Reach out to the schools your kids go to as well in regards to food payment. See if you can temporarily get them on a low income food plan so they do not go hungry if you cannot refill their accounts


Credit card to the rescue

In the short term, you absolutely do not have to leave; and will eventually get access to the money that was in the joint accounts and likely an equal split to the equity in the house. In the very short term; I would recommend getting a credit card in your name alone or asking for help from your parent (putting it into a new account that is only in your name at a totally new bank) to tide you over until your court hearing. The court can also order temporary alimony to help you pay legal costs.


Look at the details


Define bought the house together. Are you both on the mortgage, or are you both on the deed to the home?

Unfortunately with a joint account, you both have equal access to the money within it.


Back it all up!

If I were you, I'd take screenshots of literally everything and back them up in at least three different locations, your computer's hard drive in a password protected folder, on some cloud-based service like Onedrive (it's free), and a USB flash drive that never leaves your person. If he deletes it off of your computer AND the cloud-based service, you still have the flash drive.


The mom had an update for us

Let's find out how she put everyone's advice into action:

"First, I want to say that I logged out of this account that evening, and didn't come back until now, and I was BLOWN AWAY by all of the people offering food, gift certificates, or just good will, and I started crying.. again. I will respond to each of you individually.

So, to recap: My STBX is a cheating ass, and he panicked and tried to erase his family.

The update: This all happened on a Sunday, so there wasn't a lot I could do right then. I put the kids to bed, and called my mom and cried. Then, I called my mother in law, who was horrified.

My inlaws came over that night with $200 in cash and a check for much more. My father in law is didn't say much, but he did fix my bathroom door (which is how he shows affection), and muttered that he would "fix this".

I opened a new checking account at a new bank (THANKS FOR THIS ADVICE) with the check my in laws gave me.

I opened a new credit card in my name.

My mother deployed a niece to help with childcare for the next week, I called in a lot of childminding favors, and with the cash my inlaws gave me, I was able to pay the babysitter while I worked this out.

I met with two divorce attorneys- both of them told me about what you had said, that he was legally screwed. I chose one, and we set the process in motion to get an emergency hearing, but by Tuesday, my old checking account had most of the money back, and my husband was asking to "talk".

On the advice of my lawyer, I took half of the checking account money and put it in my new bank, and kept records of everything.

I pulled our credit reports- He has over $40,000 in credit card debt. I also found out, that he received a raise last year, and funneled this money out of our shared accounts. I would have figured this out when I did our taxes, and this led to him panicking and trying to "erase" us.

Keep in mind, this asshole gave me gonorrhea. I am an accountant by trade, and I'm afraid of CC debt the way some girls are afraid of spiders, so I was horrified about this, but my lawyer thinks it's likely that he'll have to have this debt on his own, as my name isn't on it, and it seems that most of it was spent on his side piece.

We have started mediation, which he agreed to when he realized that he would need to pay for BOTH of our divorce attnys.

My goal- which my lawyer thinks is reasonable, is to ask for alimony until I either re-marry (not likely) or my 2 year old is in school full time, and to have a reasonable amount of child support until she's 18, and then we'll split college costs for all of them. When all the kids are in school, I can concentrate on getting back to work.

I also plan to sell the house and buy a smaller house in a less elite section of town. The kids can share rooms, and I can live mortgage free.

So, I'm heartbroken, and diseased, but there's also an incredible weight that his lifted from me. Our marriage has been bad for so long, and I didn't even realize how unhappy I was, and how.. absent by husband was. It took my 5 year old almost a week to realize that Daddy was gone."


Be ready 

Save all your text messages. Print them out, give a copy to your attorney, a copy to a trust family member or friend, and keep a copy. Communicate only via text or email if you can help it until you get a lawyer. (Get a lawyer asap on retainer)

Reaching out for help won't be a bad thing. Also, secure any and all documents supporting you co-owning and buying the house.


Put your best fighting foot forward 


don't leave, seek legal help even if you can't afford it, fight tooth and nail for you and your kids' rights to the money you've earned together.


Cover all your bases 

Save everything that he has sent you via text or email about taking your kids and getting out. See if your state requires both parties to consent to phone conversations, if they don't and only require unilateral consent, tape any conversations you may have.

You will eventually have to get a job (in most states, I haven't seen what state you live in). Look at your resume and maybe reach out to some friends that are also professionals to review it for you.

Don't sell anything yet, you need Temporary Orders where the Court will tell you what to do. You probably can open up a checking account in your name only, so if you have cash in the house you can deposit it there. I may think about getting all vital and important documents and giving them to a close friend for safekeeping.


Karma is not nice

that dude is so effed, bet he looses the house and has to pay enough child support to cover the mortgage.


Question his mental stability 

it may be wise to limit his alone time with your children completely, or at least as much as possible. There have been a number of cases recently of parents killing their children to spite the other parent, and given the level of spite he's already demonstrated, I wouldn't rule anything out.

Given, it's thankfully an extremely rare outcome, and it's most likely just me being paranoid, but I urge preemptive caution all the same. There's no reason to let it be a possibility, and his mental health doesn't sound especially stable.


People Reveal The Worst Health-Related Advice They've Ever Received

Reddit user Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked: 'What is the worst health advice you've been given?'

Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.

The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.

But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?

Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:

"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"

Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.

Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer

"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”

"turns out it was glioblastoma."

– Guy_Faux

"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."

– Frisky_Picker

Second Opinion Saves Lives

"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."

"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."

"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."

– littlemybb

Tiny Grandchild

"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."

"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."

– Emkems

Unforeseen Ailment​

"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."

– Ok_Ear_8848

These are not appropriate remedies.

That's Not How That Works

"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."

– _Puke_Bucket_

"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."

– Bos_lost_ton

Pushing Through

"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."

– BoyMonday

"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”

"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."

– pinotproblems

"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."

– slowsunslumber

"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution

"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."

"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."

– sapphireblossoms

Choking On Blood

"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."

– hypo-osmotic

"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."

– OrangeTree81

These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."

The C-Word

"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."


"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."

"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."

– juniper_max

Thinking Twice About Back Pain

"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."

– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

"Yikes, I am so sorry."

"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."

"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."

"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"

"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."

– Yarr0wFeather

Vitamin D Overdose

"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."

"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."

– comfortablynumb15

As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.

Your conscience is there for a reason.

Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.

Woman speaking to an audience
Photo by Ben Moreland on Unsplash

When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.

However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.

Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:

"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"

We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...

'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410

Speaking From Experience?

"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."

"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan

Dream On...

"She said:'

"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."

"'It's been proven'."

"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"

"Ruined a favorite story of hers."

"Sorry."- FrankieMint

falling GIFGiphy

Because ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...

"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."

"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."

"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes

Keep Them Away From Needles...

"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."

"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"

"Ear wax."

"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure

Credit To the Visual Effects Designer

"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."

"I’ll never forget one of her claims."

“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."

"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”

"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."

"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."

"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196

Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphy

In Theory... Still Wrong!

"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·

Check The Date...

"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."

"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."

"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."

"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"

"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."

"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."

"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."

"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."

"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40

Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss...

"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."

"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."

"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta

The Price Of Never Looking Up!

"Pineapples aren't real."

"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki


"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."

"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."

"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves

But What Causes Cavities?

"I'm a dental hygienist."

"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."

"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus

If Only...

"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."

"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers

Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.

"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."

"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck

season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy

When people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.

So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.

In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...

Picture of a pink heart tearing in two, hung off a red and white string, set against a black background
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.

Yes, you of course want to give in to love.

But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.

You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.

Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.

if you see them... run.

Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:

"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"

The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.

I need to do better.

A Big Deal

Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy

"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."


"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."


Hear Me!

"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."


"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."


"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."



"Never admitting a mistake."


"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."


"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"


Never Again

"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."


"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."



Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."


Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.

And know when to depart.


Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy

"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."


"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."


Just Kidding

"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"


"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."


"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."

"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."



"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."


"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"


"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."



"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."

"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."

"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."


Talk to Me

Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy

"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."

"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."


Communication is key.

If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?

Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

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