Chain Restaurant Workers Reveal Which Meals We Should Avoid At All Costs
Chain Restaurant Workers Reveal Which Meals We Should Avoid At All Costs
[rebelmouse-image 18346977 is_animated_gif=Bigger doesn't always mean better, and restaurants are certainly no exception. Be careful what you order in chains, employees say.
etphonetrome asked, Chain restaurant workers of Reddit, which meal should we avoid at all costs?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This actually blew my mind a little.
[rebelmouse-image 18346978 is_animated_gif=Big Macs, if you don't care about the middle bun, order a McDouble, sub mac sauce and add shredded lettuce, its half the price and you dont pay extra for lettuce or substitutions, and you get pretty much the same amount of food.
Microwaved or not, their chicken wings are amazing.
[rebelmouse-image 18346979 is_animated_gif=Not a real big contribution but when I worked at Applebee's the microwaved Mac and cheese bugged me. Along with pretty much any desserts.
Today, in unsurprising news...
[rebelmouse-image 18346980 is_animated_gif=Hi, I used to work for Smoothie King. This isn't really anything specific but do NOT go there because you think it's healthy. All of the smoothies are actually pretty unhealthy for you.
EDIT: here's one of the main reasons why. It's most definitely the sugar. Everything that makes the smoothie taste good most likely has sugar in it. The strawberries are surrounded with a sugary syrup. So are the raspberries, blueberries, and peaches. The juices that we add are a thick syrup idkk why they call it juice because you definitely can't drink it down by itself. Then you add the marketed "raw cane sugar". Just because it has raw in the front doesn't make it NOT sugar. The worst smoothie I see people get is the hulk. I've seen so many people get the hulk for their children but whenever I try to tell them it's like they refuse to believe anything there could possibly be bad for you. LITTLE JIMMY DOES NOT NEED TO BE DRINKING THAT FAT SLUDGE MAM I DONT WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS HEART EXPLODING. I have every smoothie basically memorized so if any of y'all have specific questions just ask.
But they're so. Good.
[rebelmouse-image 18346981 is_animated_gif=I worked at a Pizza Hut for a while. Most of it is fine, although I wouldn't order wings on a Wednesday unless you are able to deal with a long wait. Their wing street menu gets slammed on that day due to the wing special, and most Pizza Huts don't have enough fryer space to keep up with Wednesday business.
The regular breadsticks are the most likely thing to not be made freshly, because they are ordered in packs of five sticks, but prepped and cooked in pans of ten sticks. Not a big deal during peak hours because we sold so many breadsticks that it didn't matter, but in slower hours it sometimes meant that if there was a 20-minute gap between one order of breadsticks and the next, the second customer got breadsticks that were significantly less tasty. They weren't rock hard or anything, but their fresh breadsticks are great and their 20 minute old breadsticks aren't great.
Deep fried cheese, covered in cheese, masquerading as a sandwich. Two please.
[rebelmouse-image 18346982 is_animated_gif=I worked at Denny's for longer than I'd like to admit. I don't know if they still serve it, but never ever ever eat the Fried Cheese Melt. It actually topped the list on a local news network as the worst thing in America that you can put in your body.
For the uninitiated, it's 4 mozzarella cheese sticks with cheese on top and bottom between two pieces of bread. Disgusting.
That other thing? A breakfast sandwich with donuts as buns. 'Murica.
[rebelmouse-image 18346983 is_animated_gif=There is a place called Crave Burger here, I'm not sure how much of a chain it is, but they have whats called the "fatty melt," which is a cheeseburger but instead of normal buns, there is a grilled cheese on top and bottom.
I went there once and they had a pizza burger. Without reading the description I had ordered it - it was literally a personal pan pizza on either side as buns, a hamburger patty in the middle, mozzarella, pepperoni, and a bowl of marinara sauce for dipping.
They also have this f_cking thing.
Your cheesestick sandwhich doesn't seem so bad now.
Don't care, it's unlimited.
[rebelmouse-image 18346984 is_animated_gif=Olive Garden: The only ingredients not frozen are herbs, peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Even the pasta and bread is shipped frozen. I realize this is standard procedure for most chain restaurants, but Olive Garden advertises itself as being authentic upscale Italian cuisine. It's a lie
Sounds about right.
[rebelmouse-image 18346985 is_animated_gif=I work at Subway and one day my ex-manager was getting out a few platters of sandwiches for a customer, but the platters hadn't been closed/secured correctly so they busted open, spilling sandwiches onto the floor in the back. He said "f_ck it" picked them up without gloves on, put them back on the platter, and gave them to the customer. I died a little inside that day.
Well, I think we have a lunch plan today.
[rebelmouse-image 18346986 is_animated_gif=Former McD worker here, I got nothing you shouldn't have, but as a consolation, what you SHOULD do, is order a 'Double cheeseburger, sub artisan, sub cheddar'
You will not regret it. Also quarter pounder instead of double cheeseburger works.
An expert... ordering rolls... ok then
[rebelmouse-image 18346987 is_animated_gif=I worked at a Japanese casual fast food restaurant that had two locations, but this applies to other places. We had this thing called a Volcano roll and it cost $7.25. A California roll there cost $3.75. The Volcano roll was a Cali roll cut into the shape of a triangle and topped with spicy mayo that has been heated up with about $.10 worth of fish, literally just a few bits. You are much better off ordering a Cali roll and paying $.50 extra for spicy mayo on the side and asking them to heat it up.
I had one really smug guy come in with his date and ordered a couple of rolls like he was a sushi expert, one of which was a volcano roll. When the Volcano roll was served in the restaurant, we would usually put it on top so it looked nice, like a Volcano. When I brought it over he was like, "Oh, I didn't know you guys put the sauce on, I've only gotten it for pick up and the sauce is always on the side. I don't really like it, could you bring me one without it?" I tried not to laugh and said sure. I went back and the sushi chef asked what was wrong. I told him that he didn't like the sauce and want one without it. He laughed and said alright, so he took a Cali roll, cut it up, and put it on the plate. I brought it back to the guy and he was super pumped. Basically, this guy paid $7.25 for a roll that would have cost him $3.75 and me and the sushi chef got to split a free volcano roll. Normally I would have told him about it, but dude was being so arrogant by trying to impress his date with his "sushi knowledge" that I decided not.
So really, you should be careful, look at the ingredients of the rolls that you have, because some of them could be glorified and overpriced California roll
Microwaving a wrap? Gross.
[rebelmouse-image 18346988 is_animated_gif=Red Robin - the chicken in both the BBQ and Caesar wraps are pre-cooked and they are microwaved. Substitute it for crispy chicken.
Are veggie patties food? Asking for a friend.
[rebelmouse-image 18346989 is_animated_gif=A&W here in Canada. Everything is okay to order actually since we all cook it fresh especially during a rush but if they have a veggie burger ready and it's not a busy location or its during slow times, stay away or ask them to make another one for you fresh (they're obligated to make you one and is usually not a hassle for them). 9/10 times that veggie patty has been sitting there for hours.
Of course it's all fried, that's the point of going.
[rebelmouse-image 18346990 is_animated_gif=Idk how Long John Silver's hasn't been mentioned yet. I worked at 3 different locations during high school. Pretty much everything is fried, we all know that, but the oil is only switched out like once a month and that's only if your manager gives a sh*. So the fries are cooked in the same oil as the fish, chicken, shrimp, hush puppies, and so on. The fish and chicken are scooped up out of the oil and thrown on a rack above the fryers. That rack is just covered in grease and hardly ever cleaned, and even if it is cleaned, it's never good enough; grease gets in the cracks of everything. The floors are absolutely disgusting, and everyone had to buy non-slip shoes seemingly every month. The oil would just eat away at them. The corn on the cob sits in a literal heated sink until someone buys it... you might be getting corn from last week depending on how busy it was. My clothes always smelled terrible after a shift, and my girlfriend hated it if I came over after as well. It would make my hair smell like cat vomit, she said. A shower after a shift was an absolute must.
Just all in all the absolutely messiest, most gross "kitchen" area I've seen in my entire life.
I worked there for maybe a year, and after the first day, I vowed to never eat anything from there. I'm 30 years old and haven't since.
See below why Chipotle is amazing... the chips.
[rebelmouse-image 18346991 is_animated_gif=There's nothing really disgusting or poisonous at chipotle, but depending on how busy the store you go to is and what time of day it is, maybe or maybe don't get the steak. It's cooked to be medium rare but after more than 15 minutes on the line, you end up with basically dog food.
The Barbacoa and Carnitas usually for lined periods of time because no one really eats them, and the chips are made with an obscene amount of salt and oil.
That's twice the recommended daily limit of sodium. No wonder it's so good.
[rebelmouse-image 18346992 is_animated_gif=Chili's. The Buffalo Ranch sandwich has the sodium content of 17 McDonald's medium fries.
"Hospice clean meat." What...
[rebelmouse-image 18346993 is_animated_gif=I work at Jimmy Johns and there's a very high standard of cleanliness. Every store gets inspected every few weeks and the motto is to keep the store "hospice clean". That being said, it's really gross that we leave the meat sitting out all day on the prep tables.
Shut up Subway's tuna is amazing BECAUSE it's all mayo.
[rebelmouse-image 18346994 is_animated_gif=Use to work at Subway. What we did was empty bags of tuna into a big bowl. The tuna came in chunks so we broke it up into fine crumbs with gloved hands. Then we dump a bag of mayo and mix it together, again with gloved hands. Then we put it into three containers and cover them with lids. One would go up front if we needed it, the rest would go into the fridge. We also put the date and time it was made on the containers. The only thing I can think of that was kinda gross was that the mayo was kept outside of the fridge so the mayo is always room temperature.
Sweet, sweet chai.
[rebelmouse-image 18346995 is_animated_gif=I work at Starbucks so idk if this counts but pretty much everything has more sugar than you think it does. Especially our lightly sweetened chai, the chai syrup comes with less sugar but we end up pumping liquid cane sugar into it anyways.
Mmmmm. Hot chicken water.
[rebelmouse-image 18346996 is_animated_gif=I work at Dairy Queen and I wouldn't recommend eating anything with the grilled chicken. We microwave it and put it in hot steaming water. Everything else is pretty standard and I would eat it myself.
There is no wrong way to order Domino's.
[rebelmouse-image 18346997 is_animated_gif=I seriously doubt anyone will see this, but do NOT order the bread twists at Domino's. They're made using one half of a pan pizza dough, and drizzled with garlic oil and parmesan dust, and will cost about $5.99. Instead, you should order the parmesan bread bites. Those are made from one half of a pan pizza dough and drizzled with garlic oil and parmesan dust, but only cost $2.99
The Closest People Have Ever Come To Killing Someone
"Reddit user BBQPancake asked: 'What was the closest you've gotten to killing someone?'"
We all... could be a Dateline NBC villain.
Life pushes us.
Of course, there are also times when accidents happen and we prove life is fragile.
One never knows what actions they will one day be responsible for.
More deep breaths should be taken.
Redditor BBQPancake wanted to hear about the times people almost let the devil win, so they asked:
"What was the closest you've gotten to killing someone?"
Everytime someone CHOOSES not to use a turn signal, I roll the dice if this is the moment.
No Hazards
lauren conrad car GIF by The HillsGiphy"Dude was changing his tire on the side of the freeway about half past midnight, dressed in dark clothes, no hazards on, and sitting halfway into the right lane. Almost splattered that dude."
Flooded_Strand
Totally Weird Experience
"11:30 pm Remote country road with no streetlights. There’s a tiny traffic island in the middle of the road and I see what looks like a slightly different-colored silhouette standing there. By all rights, I should not have seen him there but something in my brain clicked and swore there was a figure standing there so I slammed on my brakes as the figure jumped out in front of me, car stopped about 2m away."
"He smiled really sinisterly and started walking towards the car, I reversed and made to move around him slowly and he jumped in front again, I managed to drive on the wrong side of the road to escape him."
"A minute down the road I stop to flash my lights at every passing car to warn them and I sh*t you not the second car that passed was a cop and I explained what happened. I circled back a minute later and saw the dude on the side of the road in cuffs. Totally weird experience."
HeyMrCow
SLAM!
"When I passed my driving test many years ago, I asked the instructor if he had any advice for a new driver. He warned me that if I ever saw a ball roll into the street to immediately hit the brakes because there was a good chance a kid will follow. I never forgot that and have religiously followed it ever since."
"A couple of years ago I was driving down a residential street and it happened again and something in my mind told me to SLAM on my brakes and so I did. I came to a stop just feet from a really little kid who was completely frozen in terror."
"That driving instructor is probably dead of old age by now, but wherever he is, I hope he understands that he saved that little kid's life and saved me a lifetime of guilt and heartache."
MaybeADumbass
The potatoes were stuck
"Pneumatic potato cannon. My friends and I were shooting it in my backyard. Must have launched off dozens of potatoes at this point. We decided to stuff 3 potatoes in the barrel. When we open the valve to shoot it nothing happened. We were sitting around 60 psi and had no launch."
"The potatoes were stuck. My friend went to look down the barrel. I saw what was going to happen and lifted the back forcing the barrel into the ground. At that time the potatoes shot out and left a small crater in the ground."
ELONGATEDSNAIL
I Shudder
shooting breaking glass GIF by PhazedGiphy"I was fermenting homemade kombucha in a tightly closed bottle. Which I forgot to burp. One day a bottle exploded, while my mother-in-law was in the kitchen. Luckily, she was far from the bottle at the moment and got only a scratch on her hand, but we had to dislodge glass shards from the walls. I still shudder from a thought of what would happen if she were closer."
nazanar
Closed bottles and pressure, that is a toxic mess.
Take shelter.
Avengers Unite
the avengers GIFGiphy"Every time I drive in Sydney on a weekend 4000 people either wanna walk out into traffic without looking or cycle onto main roads without pausing or merge into my lane without indicating/checking. By staying in defensive driving mode I've saved more lives than the Avengers."
RGH81
6 Inches
"Was on a film set working when a mentally unstable person with a knife approached me and another crew member."
"Was forced to take a swing at him with a gobo arm (it's essentially a metal rod with a metal knuckle on the end of it). Swung hard enough that if it connected, would have caved in this dude's temple."
"Just missed, and it coming so close must have jolted the guy back to reality and he took off. So closest I came to killing someone was about 6 inches."
Ringlovo
A Few feet from the Girl
"Used to work a delivery job. One afternoon, I'm driving back to work in the old POS delivery van and some girl bolts across the road (presumably to catch a bus that had pulled over up ahead)."
"Slammed on the brakes and came to a sliding stop completely sideways in the middle of the road no more than 2 or 3 feet from the girl. I still think about it sometimes, it was a heavy old Ford van, with no ABS. If I'd been speeding even slightly I think I would've hit her."
ZatyDaddy
Madre de Dios
"Driving a loaded truck, probably about 10,000 lb or so, at the speed limit. Traffic in the oncoming lane is at a standstill. Some [censored] decided he was too important to wait with everyone else and pulls out, face to face with me, at very short range. I swerved hard right, didn't really expect to miss him but somehow did."
"Then swerved hard left to avoid the people on the sidewalk, somehow missed them too. Didn't think you could make a truck do that. Apparently, my passenger (the owner of the truck I was driving for) didn't think it was possible either. I learned some new swear words in Spanish and what sounded like the prayer of thanks to Madre de Dios."
philzar
Fired
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy"High school friend's dad wanted to teach us how to shoot. Went to the range and when he wasn't looking I grabbed the pistol and tried the John Woo sideways grip shot. It flew out of my hand and the bullet ricocheted off the side wall. That was my last time to ever fire a gun."
eguez780
We really need to be vigilant.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as most of our favorite movies and books like to portray beautiful, functional, unconditionally loving families, we didn't all come from households like that.
It can be especially hard to be singled out by your family, functional or not, as the root of all its problems.
Redditor Yuizun asked:
"How did you become your family's 'black sheep'?"
Family No Matter What
"My family on one side shares a toxic belief that no matter how bad someone treats you 'family is family' and you continue to associate anyway."
"My parent on that side was abusive, so as an adult, I chose to not have that parent in my life. At first, I was given the 'Yeah, they were wrong and treated you horribly, but...family' speech by a few relatives, but I stayed firm on staying away from this parent."
"I'm now basically disowned. I guess family is family unless you refuse to deal with your abuser, then you aren't family?"
- Orchidforever
Not the Right Kind of "Successful"
"I didn’t go to medical, dental, or law school, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Additional-Brief-272
"I don't want to be that guy, but I'll one-up you."
"My brother is the black sheep because he's not a surgeon. He decided to be a pediatrician. My father was actually disappointed in him."
- GeneralGrueso
Adoption Troubles
"I was adopted at birth. Black Sheep Status attained!"
"My parents 'settled' for an adopted child after failing to conceive a biological one. S**tty for me that they finally got pregnant with the long-desired biological kid very shortly after my adoption."
- 1derHamster
Age Gap Issues
"I'm kind of the automatic black sheep because of my age. I'm the oldest grandchild in the family and my mom had me when she was very young so by the time her siblings had children I was already 13."
"So I'm kind of an island of my own experiences in a different phase of life than everyone... too young to really hang with the adultier adults and too old to hang with all my cousins who are 13+ years younger than me."
"Growing up, it was very isolating. It's gotten a bit better now that all of us are older, but I still don't really feel like I belong especially well anywhere."
- HeraPlum
Being Introverted
"Being an introvert in a very extroverted family."
- ApplesPeaches
"Try being introverted at home, and extroverted at work, while your family knows this."
"So it's always just, 'We know you can do better, why are you always so quiet around us?'"
- Martina313
The Sibling Shadow
"When my older sister set the bar too high starting in second grade."
- FiremanBillBradley
"My brother was always in trouble at school. I was quiet and too shy to do anything but get my work done but whenever there was trouble in my classroom it was always said by a passing teacher, 'Oh, that's x's sister, bound to be her fault.'"
- Valuable_Recipe_1387
Making Big Moves
"I moved to Japan, which I thought was fine, but in my family's eyes I am the same as Al-Qaeda."
"No joke."
"The day before I moved to Japan, my dad said to me, 'IF YOU HATE AMERICA SO F**KING MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MOVE TO IRAQ AND JOIN AL-QAEDA!'"
"Like bro, chill the f**k out, I'm moving to teach English, gawd dayum."
"My parents have since calmed down, but my 24-year-old sister basically called me a traitor the last time we talked, and my 27-year-old sister said I'm a f**king id**t for moving to a country that isn't even free."
"My parents still make fun of Japan constantly and tell me they will never ever visit me here (to which I said cool, I guess I'll never see you again, because I'm not going to America until you visit me here) so yeah."
"Somehow I'm the black sheep for just like, doing what I want."
- Particular_Stop_3332
Mental Health Stigma
"I was open about suffering from severe depression."
- LadySygerrik
Toxic Family Members
"For refusing my sister's toxic behavior in my life."
"My family is the kind of family where the saying 'family is family' really is implemented."
"However, not with me. I tolerate what I want. If you are a piece of s**t, you don't deserve to be in my life. My family did not accept that and well, baaaah."
- Kitasuki
The Wrong College
"It was a long time ago... but my older sisters were attending Wharton and MIT at the time. The best I could do was Carnegie Mellon. I still remember the look of utter disappointment on my parents' faces."
- PluckPubes
Unapologetic Lifestyle
"Pursuing my constructive life passions and even morphing them into my work, making a good living at it, and being happy and unapologetic about it."
"Instead of doing something my parent thought I should be doing instead, something that wasn’t a 'waste of my time' like a 'real' job."
"I’m the only one of my siblings without a DUI or any other legal issues. Still the black sheep."
- LivingWithWhales
Breaking Generational Cycles
"For being significantly more mentally stable and responsible, and also not enabling or making excuses for a problematic relatives behavior."
- missesalchemist111
The Unplanned Pregnancy
"I was born and had needs and that was it."
- Sunsa249
"I was born as a result of high school sex. That was my fault. They weren't ready for me. Then I had needs like education and medical care and that was just asking too d**n much."
- literally_lite_rally
Black Sheep by Association
"By being born to my mother who was already a black sheep because she was born five years after her four siblings as a 'pleasant surprise.'"
"Most people don't become the black sheep. They're born it."
- Disig
Supportive Siblings
"Supporting my sibling when my stepparent was continually unfair about them. Went from being the unwilling favorite to ‘She Who Must Not Be Named.’"
"Thankfully my in-laws are amazing!"
- bad_dancer236
From ridiculous and petty reasons to larger social issues that a child never could have chosen for themselves, people have been turned into black sheep for all sorts of reasons.
The common thread for each of these people was their decision to value themselves over how they were being treated.
Clearly, the people viewing them as the black sheep didn't like having boundaries enforced around them.
In order for medical professionals to properly assess and diagnose a patient, the patient has to describe their symptoms as best they can.
But not every patient gives all the accurate information, possibly because they may be embarrassed about how they got into their predicament in the first place.
Regardless, doctors and nurses have seen it all and can tell if a patient is not being forthright.
Curious to hear from medical experts online, Redditor DrPloyt asked:
"Doctors and nurses of Reddit, what’s the most blatant lie a patient has told you about why they’re in the hospital?"
Those who felt ashamed thought they could get away with lying.
The STD Source
"Had a patient convince his wife he got an STD from a dirty toilet seat in the ER when he arrived to the hospital. He was in house for about a week or two after, his wife dutifully staying with him each day until about 6. She home cooked meals for him every night and would bring them to the hospital each day while trying to file complaints to us for his STD he got from us."
"A doctor had to kindly explain to her the impossibility of him getting that particular STD from a toilet seat and it also become active / symptomatic in that time frame. She never believed us."
"After she went home each evening at 6 to cook for him for the following day, his affair partner would show up from 7-10 each evening."
– Duffarum
Running From The Law
"I’m a paramedic. I had that. They called 911 to get away from the police and a fight that had been happening.Jumped in the ambulance and started screaming at us to just drive away. We locked ourselves up front and said that’s not how this works and he ran away."
– Fianna9
Substance Abusers
"I’m a paramedic, and it’s the ones who deny doing drugs and insist we don’t know our job. I had one patient swearing up and down he doesn’t do any drugs, he was just sleeping. On the kitchen floor. While cooking."
“Do you know why your mom is crying? She just did cpr on you because you stopped breathing”
"Then admitted to doing some weed. And crack. And heroin. And meth."
"ETA- this was after he woke up to naloxone. I always ask twice if drugs are suspected before moving on to other medical issues."
– Fianna9
Attention Seeker
"I've told this story many times before, but when I worked in the emergency department there was a frequent flier who would come in complaining of migraines, seizures and stroke symptoms. She was completely full of sh*t, just wanted drugs and attention. One time the symptom she presented with was that she could only speak Spanish, but the thing was that in reality she couldn't speak Spanish*,* so you had to ask her yes or no questions or she just wouldn't respond. If the answer was yes she would say 'si' and if the answer was no she would shake her head, because she didn't know the Spanish word for 'no' is no.'"
– PigWithAWoodenLeg
The Axe Thrower
"Psych patient told me she didn’t know why they were keeping her in the facility. She claimed nothing was wrong with her, wasn’t on drugs, and didn’t do anything to be admitted… after 30 minutes of talking she admitted to throwing an axe at her neighbor, unprovoked after use of meth."
– lanakame
Quick observations revealed these patients were untruthful.
The Ex
"I lied to hospital staff once before, my ex gf stabbed me in the hand and it cut me wide open. So I get to triage and I tell them I fell and accidentally cut myself, because I didn't want to get my ex in trouble (yes I know I'm an idiot blah blah blah I've heard it a million times) when I get into a room I look around and notice an unusually high amount of domestic violence posters on the wall, I thought 'huh that's weird' the first thing the nurse says is 'we know it can be hard to talk about being abused' like damn they were on to me from the start, I still don't know how they knew, but I ended up spilling the beans, they said they wouldn't tell the police if I didn't want them to."
– dayzers
Does Not Compute
"I was in the ER for a suspected testicular torsion, and we saw a guy with a pretty clear bullet wound on his arm. The lady handling intake asked him what happened, and he said he fell off his skateboard."
– doctordoctorpuss
What's Up, Doc?
"I had a frustrating itch inside my rectum and the carrot was the only object that I could fit in there"
– LithuanianLion
What The Ex-Con Did
"Easy. A guy came in complaining of being constipated and couldn't poop for 5 days. He reported rectal blood and difficulty passing gas. A CT was done and showed a 9 inch linear object bordering or slightly puncturing through his bowel with questionable free air. With the CT results in hand we confronted the guy. 9 MONTHS AGO, yep, 9 months ago this guy got out of prison where he stuck a prison shank in his butt to hide it during a cell search. It was already in there about a year before he got out. He didn't tell anyone for fear of adding on his prison sentence. He was never able to retrieve it and thought it would just pass naturally. He was just hoping we'd give him some prescription strength laxatives and he'd have better luck. He needed surgery."
– alwaysforgettingmypw
Things got out of hand for these patients with erectile dysfunction.
Hard Situation
"Back when Viagra first dropped, every grandpa in Miami with chest pain would lie about why they had a raging erection. Or the boner would be gone, and they'd be so much more confident in their answer. No matter how much we stressed how unsafe lying would be, no matter whether we ferried the ladies out of the room."
"It was quite a way for little baby nurse me to learn how low blood pressure could get. Being in Miami at the time was like being on the front of a boomer battlefield for erectile rights."
– MissAnthropicRN
Forever Stiffie
"Oh boy."
"I'm an admin in a hospital and just the other week we had a younger guy (30s) come in because he had injected viagra into his unit...his erection had lasted for a worrying amount of hours so he came to ED."
"After having 220mls drained from his member, he regained full function."
"My colleagues and I joked that he wouldn't be touching it for at least a day or two."
– HailCrystals
The moral of the story is, it's pointless to lie to your doctor.
The truth will eventually come out, and it should, because your life could depend on it.
And the truth of the matter is, doctors and nurses don't care about your situation, no matter how embarrassed you are. They just want to make sure you are properly tended to.
Any judgement from them will most likely be because you're a bad liar, not because you shoved a foreign object up your bum.
Every moment we breathe is a moment to learn something new.
What's funny is the more we learn, the more we're shocked.
Some knowledge is so obvious it's stunning how oblivious we are.
Like, "How did I not know this sooner?'
And no matter what I can still be shocked.
Redditor r3tr0gam3r83 wanted to hear about which realizations in life have left people SHOOK, so they asked:
"What is something that blew your mind once you realized it?"
Avocados are not vegetables.
They're fruits, berries to be exact.
Like what?!?!
Colleagues
GIF by Bud LightGiphy"Sometimes it is more important to like your colleagues than the actual job."
"I had shi**y jobs with the most amazing colleagues and had shi**y colleagues and the most amazing job. I'd pick the first every time."
chr989
Star Trekking
"That you could legitimately travel at warp speed through the center of galaxies and never run any real risk of hitting a star. That’s how spread out space really is."
justanotherguyhere16
"Also, galaxies, stars, and even the Universe is constantly moving. I think time travel has been invented, but they can’t figure out the 'space' part of it.
"Yes, they can travel back in time, but relatively speaking, they can’t figure out how to navigate to the part of the planet they want to reach. So when they travel back in time, it’s relative to where they currently are, and end up not moving through space, thus ending up in the middle of an empty vacuum."
theknights-whosay-Ni
Jaws is Old
"That sharks predated the rings of Saturn."
BeardedDominant
"Sharks also developed the immune system that ended up in both dinosaurs/birds and mammals."
csiz
"We don’t know that. We can’t say for certain that the rings are only 100 million years old. It’s still debated."
The_Kek_5000
"I'm pretty sure that sharks are older than trees."
Cayderent
From the Trees
"One day I sat on a tram, passing a river. There was a duck in a tree. I realized I'd never seen ducks in trees. No one else seemed to notice, but I was puzzled. Now whenever I come across something that seems intuitive but I have never considered I call it a duck in a tree."
Ol_Pasta
"This realization happened to me this past year. We apparently have a family of wood ducks in one of the big trees in our yard. Our neighbor said she has seen a duck walking around on a branch. I made it 37 years without knowing some ducks can roost in trees. My wife caught a video of the mama leading like eight ducks into the field next to our house. We aren't even near water."
jwbourne
Artistic Timeline
Confused Eminem GIFGiphy"Pablo Picasso and Eminem were both alive at the same time."
leebon427
"I’d bet a lot of people think Picasso is a Renaissance artist."
editormatt
I admit it. I'm one of those people. Pablo and Marshall, in one lifetime.
New facts are fun.
The New World
Design Loop GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy"They were colonizing the Wild West at the same time as they were building skyscrapers in Manhattan. I always think of them taking place eighty to a hundred years apart. It's wild."
Emilayday
Oh the Power
"Nuclear power plants are just steam power plants that use nuclear reactions to heat the water. There's no fancy magic extracting energy directly from nuclear material. They just boil water and spin a turbine."
RenaKunisaki
"Most electrical generation is spinning a turbine. Photovoltaic solar power is pretty much the only exception, and it's not the only form of solar power. There's solar thermal power, which uses mirrors or lenses to concentrate the heat of the sun to make steam and turn a turbine."
Brawndo91
The Empire
"The Roman Empire fully fell less than 50 years before the discovery of the new world."
South-by-north
"The Romans also had copper wire, magnets, and battery acid. They could have invented electricity hundreds of years before it was actually discovered. But they didn't. The wire was used for jewelry, the magnets as lodestones, and the battery acid was used to clean the rust off of swords."
Kahzgul
"RIP Byzantine Empire. 1453 never forget."
crossbowman44
The Witness
"Owl‘s silent flight. I mean I always knew that but a while ago was the first time I actually witnessed it. Owl came flying towards me and landed only a few feet away and you couldn‘t hear anything. Crazy."
Zealousideal-You-324
"I saw a barn owl swoop down and catch a mouse while hiking at night, and the whole thing happened in complete silence. It gave me a deep sense of unease because it was literally like someone hit the mute button on life."
VulcanVisions
Bad Kermit
Kermit The Frog Meme GIF by IdentityGiphy"Poison dart frogs aren't poisonous in captivity."
"I own 5 of them and anytime I tell someone I own some I always get 'Do you ever lick them' or 'Can you go kill someone with them.' But yeah they get their poison from what they eat, and all I give them is fruit flies."
JMfury
Poison frogs?
That sounds like something Rose would have a story about on 'The Golden Girls.'