Chain Restaurant Employees Reveal Their Secrets Of The Trade
[rebelmouse-image 18346945 is_animated_gif=For a lot of people, getting a peek behind the curtain when you work for a large company can be jarring. You get all of this new information that you want people to know, but really who are you going to tell? If only there was some group of people out there willing to listen to all of our minor chain trivia... Enter reddit. One user asked:
People who work in chain restaurants, what are some "secrets of the trade" of some of the more popular items on the menu that most people would have no clue about?
And guys, we are learning SO much right now.
The More You Know
[rebelmouse-image 18346946 is_animated_gif=Ask for fish/chicken cooked fresh at all but peak times. The rest is actually pretty good. Meats are sliced in store in the mornings, except the actual roast beef which is sliced to order.
Chili
[rebelmouse-image 18346947 is_animated_gif=The meat in the chili in fast food is made from the burger patties that sat on the warmer for too long. They'd be gummy as burgers, but instead of throwing them away, they get turned into chili meat.
Frozen Soup
[rebelmouse-image 18346948 is_animated_gif=Basically every soup comes frozen in bags and we just thaw it out in hot water. Same with the lemonades, we keep them in jugs frozen and just stick them under hot water.
This doesn't make our soups taste any less better. I'm simply just pointing out something people may not know about that famous bread place.
Get What You Pay For
[rebelmouse-image 18346949 is_animated_gif=You pay for what you get. Where I am at, it isn't necessarily a chain, but there are many of them all over the US. Is there a $40 Ribeye on the Menu? Likely it is fresh and well prepared. Does that menu also have a $4 Burger that isn't on Happy Hour Special? Yeah, it was frozen.
"House Wine"
[rebelmouse-image 18346950 is_animated_gif=All of the desserts are frozen. They literally came in boxes that looked like the lower-quality stuff that you would see in the frozen section at the grocery store.
The "house wine" could be bought at Wal-Mart for like half the price.
Your soup and vegetables all came frozen in a bag.
The "Caesar salad" was just a regular salad with a few toppings removed and one of the dressings (not actual Caesar salad dressing) thoroughly mixed in. On that note, the salad bar ingredients could sit there, exposed, by the entry to the kitchen for hours.
Salt Inside, Fat Outside
[rebelmouse-image 18346951 is_animated_gif=Swiss Chalet - the chicken is just salt inside, fat outside, and cooked in the rotisserie. Really quite simple, and fresh. Everything else though is pretty much some package or another, and the microwave is used way more than it should be.
Huge Frozen Boxes
[rebelmouse-image 18346952 is_animated_gif=Coffee chains: all of our sandwiches and pastries are pre packaged. We pull them out of a freezer a couple times a day and let them thaw. It's probably pretty common knowledge, but I recently had a lady come in wanting to exchange some pastries she had bought the evening before. She said they were a little hard (well yeah you got them an hour before closing and they were about to be thrown out) and asked if the ones in the case now were fresh. I didn't have the heart to tell her they come to us in huge frozen boxes.
Art of the Dip
[rebelmouse-image 18346953 is_animated_gif=Almost anywhere you get Spinach and Artichoke Dip, it starts with the same frozen, pre-mixed base that Nestle makes.
It's All Frozen
[rebelmouse-image 18346954 is_animated_gif=Having worked in pubs all around the UK, anything of the deep fried variety will always be frozen, chips, onion rings, scampi, you name it, it came in a freezer bag, even fish.
Yesterday's Meatballs
[rebelmouse-image 18346955 is_animated_gif=The teriyaki and buffalo may be a day or two past their date because we don't sell enough. There's also a 90% chance you're eating the meatballs from the day before.
Automatic Hatred
[rebelmouse-image 18346956 is_animated_gif=If you order a "Quesoritto", we automatically hate you. Doubly so if you complain about the price difference. You're basically making us go through the line twice while burning our hands on your meal. All while we try and do other people's meals to keep the line going.
Certified Sandwich Artist
[rebelmouse-image 18346957 is_animated_gif=Certified sandwich artist here:
Parmesan Oregano and Italian Herbs and Cheese are the same exact thing except for the sprinkle of cheese.
Tuna is really 3 parts mayo to 2 parts tuna.
The sweet onion sauce is the only sauce on the chicken for a sweet onion chicken teriyaki. There's no teriyaki sauce on it.
Burger Royalty
[rebelmouse-image 18346958 is_animated_gif=[In many chains], you can swap a toy in a kids meal for an ice cream cone for free.
Soggy Onions
[rebelmouse-image 18346959 is_animated_gif=Bloomin onion. Ask for it to be fried hard or extra crispy.
Helps give it some crunch and takes a little of the grease out.
No Wonder You Have Heartburn
[rebelmouse-image 18346967 is_animated_gif=Worked in one 15 years ago, but this will not have changed. Our hottest wing sauce was so hot that the metal bowls we made it in would be eaten through by the sauce in a matter of weeks.
In case anyone thinks this is only due to friction from mixing, our control was the "mild". Those bowls lasted forever.
Skip The Lettuce
[rebelmouse-image 18346970 is_animated_gif=I've cut the lettuce at a certain burrito joint, and I have seen bugs in the lettuce too many times. And it's dirty sometimes when we can't get our usual brand. We do our best to clean it, but still...don't get the lettuce.
And the ground beef is just prepackaged s***. We reheat it. We grill the chicken and steak on location! We marinate the pork overnight, slow cook it in the oven for 6 hours, and then cool it in its own juices! Be adventurous! The ground beef is garbage, don't waste you're life!
Ketchup Pizza
[rebelmouse-image 18346972 is_animated_gif=When we ran out of sauce for the pizza, the cooks would just use ketchup. I said they were bad for doing that, then they gave me a ketchup pizza to try. It was pretty good actually.
Ice Cream Answers
[rebelmouse-image 18346973 is_animated_gif=So this isn't really a secret of the trade but I know why the ice cream machine is always down. The ice cream machine goes through a 2-4 hr (can't remember exact number shame on me) heat cycle everyday to prevent the ice cream/shake mix from going bad. It basically heats up just before it starts to boil and stays at that temperature for a few hours and then cools down (machine out of service during this time). On any giving day there is probably only 1 person (most likely none) during a shift that knows how to operate that machine. If the machine turns off for whatever reason it will need to go through this heat cycle when it is back on. Since almost nobody knows the mechanics of this machine the heat cycle will happen again within 24 hours from the time it was turns back on usually during time when the restaurant is busy instead of someone resetting it and making the heat cycle initiate when the restaurant is closed or when it is really slow usually in the middle of the night. When you order ice cream and the cashier says sorry but the "ice cream machine isn't working" in reality it is working it's just going through a heat cycle but hey don't know that so they can't explain it. The machine also has to be completely drained and disassembled, individual parts cleaned, lubricated etc. this usually takes place during peak hours. Why? Mostly due to bad management (they will make anybody a manager at McDonald's) & because management doesn't want to train anybody to clean/operate the machine because they see the time that it takes somebody cleaning the machine as wasted labor because they are not producing (taking orders/cooking/giving it orders)
The reason it is usually cleaned during peak hours is because only 1-3 employees in the entire store know to clean the machine. These employees tend to be "good employees" and usually always work during peak hours and that's the only time they have to clean it
Cracked
[rebelmouse-image 18346975 is_animated_gif=You can swap toast for pancakes with no extra cost.
Also, if you want scrambled eggs ask for them cracked, otherwise it's from a powdered mix.
H/T: Reddit
The Stupidest Things People Have Done To Seem Cool
Reddit user Beneficial_Form8563 asked: 'What is the stupidest thing you have ever done to try to be cool?'
People fighting with their own insecurities will go to great lengths to overcome them.
Unfortunately, some of those tactics come at a cost, especially if the endeavor to attain a desired status is a vanity project rather than an improvement of a person's well-being.
Curious to hear from strangers online who pursued a superficial achievement, Redditor Beneficial_Form8563 asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you have ever done to try to be cool?"
These people were more concerned about keeping up with appearances.
Showing Off Your Seat
"Wore my pants backwards during the 90s when kriss kross was popular, so glad we didn't have social media back then."
– Rocjames77
Undesired Contrast
"Tanning booths."
"Had a lady friend that was into those. I only did it like 5 times. I was so dark, the grey hair on my chest were literally glowing."
– mrxexon
Hot Gangsta
"In junior high I wore a hoodie all year because I thought it would make me look gangsta. This included those balmy 90+ degree Texas days."
– Old_Army90
Causing A Spectacle
"In 1st grade, I was very jealous of people with glasses. I wore an old pair of my mom's sunglasses and said they were prescription. So I was, what, 6ish, wearing GIANT 1970s woman's sunglasses and couldn't see sh*t."
"My teacher saw right through it, of course (something I couldn't do). She didnt call me out, just humored me, to a point."
"I kept taking them off to read the chalkboard and she told me to put them back on. She called my mom and explained the situation. Mom picked me up from school and all I remember is denying it, and then my mom expressed her disappointment that I'd lie to her and to a teacher."
"So I told kids I switched to contacts (which were barely a thing then, especially for kids)."
– ahhh_ennui
These Redditors didn't think about consequences.
Amateur Acrobat
"When I was 8 my sister had her friends over, all teenagers, and trying to be cool I jumped on the trampoline in front of them and told them I’d do a backflip. I’d never done a backflip so I landed on my neck, bounced off the trampoline and broke my wrist."
– Artemis64z
Painful Experiment
"Tried to strike a Zippo lighter on my 'stubble'. I was about fifteen; it was fluffy hair. Ripped a zit out of my face. Looked like I’d been shot. Still have an odd clump of scar tissue in my cheek."
– goodassjournalist
The Chugger
"Went to a party and chugged 6 Mike's Hard Lemonades and then threw up for several hours. Nobody else at the party was even a little drunk."
– AdamBombKelley
These people missed the mark when they were seeking to be cool.
The Rebel
"Got pulled over for playing my car stereo too loud. Took the ticket, turned it back up. Took another ticket, turned it back up. Took a third ticket, turned it back up. Spent the night in jail."
– anon
Hair Don't
"had my mullet cut off but left a rat tail, then had it braided."
– TrailerParkPrepper
Wet Disguise
"Spilled my drink to hide that I pissed my pants. Was too cool to say I needed a bathroom."
"EDIT: Before one more of you tell me that was actually smart, it was not: The problem was that it was November, we were outside drinking and smoking to hide from our parents. So when I did the quick thinking how to hide my wet pants I forgot that pee is warm.. and it was a cold night. So my pants were kind of.. steamy lol. I was 22 and a bit drunk 🤷♀️"
– SnicketyLemon875
Targeting The Teacher
"Not stupid just mean and regret it. Some of the popular kids were being my friend, or just pretending to be I don't know. I stole one of the nice teachers candy bars out of her cupboard. I didn't get caught, so I saw her take out the empty box, and look around the room disappointed. Felt like garbage."
– HooterEnthusiast
I was always the class clown in elementary school, and I loved making my classmates laugh.
One time, I tried pretending like I was walking into a closed-door classroom while intentionally not looking where I was going.
To make it look like my face slammed into the door, I planned to kick the door before my face actually hit it to simulate impact.
I misjudged the distance and my mouth slammed into the door.
My adult teeth that had just grown in didn't fall out, but they did get knocked out of alignment and my gums gushed blood.
Well, at least I still got the laughs I was seeking...at a painful cost.
What was your dumbest move to appear cool?
If Groucho was the witty Marx Brother, Harpo was without a doubt the wild one. His persona of the silent lunatic who runs around wreaking havoc is one of the most instantly recognizable characters in movie history. But just who was the man behind the character? The answer to that is much different than people realize.
1. He Had A Horrible Childhood
As a child, Harpo lived through a nightmare. Although his enormous family—including his brothers Groucho and Chico—were loving, they were also dirt poor in turn-of-the-century New York. Indeed, his domineering mother Minnie forced them to start scraping together pennies from almost the moment they could talk. The thing is, she did this in a VERY strange way.
2. His Mother Shoved Him Into Performing
While we now know that child stardom is a curse, Minnie Marx sure didn’t think so. She organized a singing quartet act with the rest of her sons...but they were missing their fourth singer. Desperate, Minnie recruited the young Harpo to come up on stage at the eleventh hour, pushing the shy boy into the spotlight. This went more horribly than anyone could have predicted.
3. He Had A Haunting Embarrassing Moment
File:Monkey Business lobby card 1931.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWhen Harpo hit the stage that day, he immediately realized he had made a mortifying mistake. Still unused to performing, he was so nervous that, in front of his family and the entire crowd, he wet his pants in the middle of the performance. Unfortunately, Harpo soon discovered that this was only the beginning of his ordeals.
4. He Was Bullied Horribly
Harpo’s school life was somehow worse than his stage debut. When he was in the second grade, he faced relentless bullying due to his Jewish ethnicity—and things took a dangerous turn. According to Harpo, his tormentors loved throwing him out the window of their second-story classroom whenever their teacher left. This would have devastating consequences.
5. He Had A Second-Grade Education
When his classroom woes became more and more frequent, Harpo eventually had enough. After yet another time where his enemies threw him out the window, the young boy simply walked home rather than returning to class. In fact, he never returned, and Harpo had no formal education whatsoever past the second grade. Yeah, this wasn’t a good thing.
6. He Was A Mobster
After quitting school, Marx began a harrowing chapter in his life. He became a juvenile delinquent, roaming the streets of New York for hours a day, swiping whatever odds and ends he could get his hands on, and making both friends and enemies with members of various street gangs. He even played piano in a brothel during this time. But one way or another, destiny came for him.
7. The Marx Brothers Have A Strange Origin Story
Around this time, the Marx Brothers’ act started to evolve into what we know it as today—but few people know its strange origins. See, they never actually set out to be a comedy act. Their mother, Minnie, was still obsessed with making them a vaudeville singing group, and whenever the brothers started kidding around in the act, she chastised them and insisted that they stuck strictly to music.
Of course, this only helped create the prankish anarchy the comedy group became famous for...and they were about to become very, very famous.
8. He Had A Film First
File:Early marx brothers with parents.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn the early 1910s, the Marx Brothers began developing their stage act in earnest, and this led to their first collaborative film, 1929’s The Cocoanuts, which starred the brothers Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zeppo Marx in all their glory and various stage names. Not only was The Cocoanuts a newfangled talkie, but it was also one of the first films to have an overhead perspective shot. But even then, something was missing.
9. He Was Eerily Silent
Early on, Harpo developed one distinguishing feature in the sibling act: He never talked. For the most part, his film career relied on sight gags, especially Harpo pulling extremely unlikely objects from his nearly ever-present overcoat. As we’ll see, there was a particular reason for his silence, but it sure worked. Within a few years, the Marx Brothers were the talk of Hollywood...and Harpo took full advantage.
10. He Was An Infamous Bachelor
With the Marx Brothers’ comedy routine taking off, Harpo became one of the most notorious bachelors in 1930s Hollywood. One story from this time is legendary: He ended up busting into a costume party at Marion Davies’ house, while the starlet was still the mistress of tycoon William Randolph Hearst. And before long, Harpo’s reputation went from naughty to infamous.
11. He Gate-Crashed A Star's Party
For whatever reason, when he got ready for the party Harpo decided to dress up as Kaiser Wilhelm II, the former German Emperor and one of the most hated villains of WWI. Somehow, though, Harpo outdid even the Kaiser. Apparently bereft of any real friends at the bash, Harpo had to hitchhike home, and after taking a wrong turn, the authorities detained him for vagrancy, breaking and entering, and supposedly even impersonating Kaiser Wilhelm.
Harpo was definitely acting out, but there was a disturbing reason for this.
12. He Had A Long-Lost Love
File:Harpo Marx 1948.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgEven today, few people know that Harpo remained single for so long in Hollywood because of one incredibly heartbreaking and traumatic experience in his youth. Shortly after arriving in Tinseltown, Harpo started dating a woman he came to deeply care for, and he even planned on proposing to her. But before he could do anything, tragedy struck.
13. He Suffered An Unbelievable Tragedy
The very day before Harpo was going to ask for the woman’s hand, he received devastating news. His lover had lost her life in a plane crash, and he would never see her again. The loss affected him for years to come, keeping him at arm's length from any serious relationships for a good while after. But as for the not-so-serious ones, all bets were off.
14. He Used Women Shamelessly
Not even Harpo’s famous silence on screen could stop him from charming the skirts off of women. At one point, he was even dating fellow comedian Fanny Brice, the woman who inspired Funny Girl, “because he felt she would be entertaining, and he loved to be entertained.” Plus, you know, he didn’t want to think about his dead girlfriend. Yet like every Hollywood hotshot, Harpo had a wandering eye.
15. He Had A Fateful Dinner Party
One evening, Harpo was attending a classic Hollywood party at producer Samuel Goldwyn’s house, with Fanny Brice on his arm. Little did he know, his life was about to change. His other seatmate was the starlet Susan Fleming, a former saucy Ziegfield girl and a currently reluctant actress who hated making films. Fleming had her eye on Harpo—and more than that, she had a secret weapon.
16. He Had A Not-So-Secret Admirer
File:Susan Fleming sl931.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgIn an eerie turn of events, Susan Fleming shared the same last name as Harpo’s long lost love who had perished in a plane crash. This probably got her foot in the door with Harpo, but if it didn't her face certainly would; she was pale with dark hair, and absolutely stunning by any measurement. More than that, Fleming was absolutely obsessed with Harpo...and she wasn’t shy about showing it.
17. He Loved To Be Worshipped
Fleming felt she could see through Harpo’s somewhat joking demeanor and into his sensual interior. She recalled that from the moment she met him, she found Harpo "a warm, fun, darling man to talk to" and that she was fascinated with his persona and career.
Harpo, for his part, wasn’t going to say no to a face like Fleming’s, and he threw off Brice that very night to take up with the actress. In the blink of an eye, it went from casual to cringeworthy.
18. He Had A Clingy Girlfriend
Susan Fleming didn’t just have a crush on Harpo, she had a whole obsession. After all, Fleming had no use for her film career, and she spent the next four years chasing after Harpo with an intensity and single-mindedness that would probably make anyone take a step back, let alone a man still on the rebound from his corpse bride.
But even though Harpo could have no doubt of Fleming’s affections, she still made a shocking grand gesture.
19. He Rejected His Lover
Fleming was so certain Harpo Marx was the man for her, she was actually the one to propose to him, an action that polite society considered near unthinkable for a woman at the time. But she was in for a cruel surprise. Although Harpo still wanted to keep up his relationship with her, the wounded man turned Fleming down. Did this let-down stop her? Not at all. She just turned the dial up to 11.
20. His Girlfriend Pushed Him Down The Aisle
File:Susan Fleming CM333.jpg - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.orgWhen Harpo turned down Fleming’s offer of marriage the first time, the actress really proved her mettle...uh, if that’s what you want to call it. Undeterred, Fleming got down on one knee again some time later, and received yet another brutal rebuff. Finally, she asked him an incredible third time and, perhaps worn down at last, Harpo finally accepted. Only, Fleming may not have known what she was getting into.
21. He Had A Secret Wedding
Maybe Harpo was still a little uncertain about Fleming, because he married her in complete secret. Sure, this might have been because the pair were notoriously camera shy—except for just one glaring thing. Harpo didn’t even tell his brothers it was happening until after the fact. Ouch. And when the truth did come out, it was scandalous.
22. The President Ratted Him Out
As it happened, people found out about Harpo’s top-secret nuptials almost right after they happened, and they found out from a shocking source. None other than President Franklin Roosevelt heard about the event from a mutual friend, and inadvertently leaked the secret by publicly sending Marx a congratulatory telegram. What a dummy, right?
23. His Wife Was His Subordinate
The beginnings of Harpo’s marriage to Fleming seemed idyllic. She quit acting in films like she had wanted to all along, and they began raising a brood of adopted children. Then again, their dynamic would still make a lot of us squirm; Fleming was Harpo’s self-appointed “valet” during the union, basically acting as his assistant when they were at home or abroad. Ew.
24. He Was Actually Bald
File:Debbie Reynolds Auction - Harpo Marx signature historic ...commons.wikimedia.orgWhen you picture Harpo, you probably aren’t picturing the real Harpo. Few people know or remember it, but for most of his films with the Marx Brothers, Harpo was wearing a blonde or red wig. Meanwhile, underneath that wig, the comedian was actually entirely bald, a fact that helped him go undetected in public whenever he felt like it, because people never recognized him.
25. He Went On A High-Profile Mission
In 1933, Harpo’s old friend Franklin Roosevelt made him one of the first “goodwill ambassadors” to Soviet Russia. It was even more harrowing than it sounds. On his way to Moscow, he passed through Hamburg and witnessed the early stages of Nazi Germany, and ended up literally vomiting at the harsh realities he witnessed first-hand to his Jewish people. When he reached Stalin’s Russia, however, it nearly turned deadly.
26. Stalin Spied On Him
Ever suspicious, Stalin assigned a government spy to accompany Harpo at all times during his stay, monitoring all of his phone calls and mail and making sure he didn’t get out of line or carry any important information back to the United States with him for the President’s eyes. It sounds like paranoia, but the truth is the Soviets DID need to worry about Harpo.
27. He Was A Secret Agent
Harpo had one unsupervised moment in the Soviet Union: His visit to the American embassy. Behind its closed doors, Marx kept a huge secret. While there, a government official asked him to smuggle a document back to the States. Though he never found out what the document was, Marx taped the envelope to his leg and successfully brought it with him on his way out of the country.
Yes, you read that right. This silly Marx Brother was an actual secret agent who carried out a real-life international spy mission.
28. He Got A Big Dramatic Break
File:Fay Wray Argentinean Magazine AD.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgHarpo was a bit of a strange husband, but he wasn’t always a good friend, either. One year, one of his good friends, the screenwriter and playwright Alexander Woollcott, asked Harpo to star in his dramatic production Yellow Jacket alongside King Kong star Fay Wray. It should have been a golden opportunity, but Marx turned it into a betrayal.
29. He Was A Terrible Friend
When Harpo read Woollcott’s script, he simply didn’t understand the vision or emotional core that his friend was going for. Of course, Woollcott also refused to explain it to him. Perhaps a tad tetchy with his buddy, Harpo reacted by not taking the performance seriously at all, and instead turned it into a comedy bit, infuriating Woollcott and nearly ruining their friendship in the process.
30. He Could Out-Weird Anyone
Harpo was infamous for some eccentric habits during his single life, especially picking up semi-vagrant artists. He actually spent over a year living with piano virtuoso and severe insomniac Oscar Levant, one of old Hollywood’s most bizarre characters and least stable people, who you may know from the film An American in Paris. Yet, as always, Harpo managed to give Levant a run for his money.
See, when Levant showed up on Harpo’s doorstep and never left, Harpo simply...accepted it. The comedian befriended the troubled musician until Levant finally left on a whim 13 months later. But when it comes to Harpo’s neighborly antics, that’s the least of them.
31. He Lived Next To A Famous Composer
For a long time, Marx lived next to the legendary classical composer Sergei Rachmaninoff. His reaction to this was surprising. As a fellow music lover, you’d think that Harpo would feel lucky to get to listen to Rachmaninoff hone his craft, but nope. Rather than just be happy, Harpo got annoyed at the noise day in and day out...so he came up with a perfect revenge.
32. He Drove A Genius Mad
File:Sergei Rachmaninoff LOC 33969u.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn classic Harpo fashion, Marx took this as an opportunity for an epic prank worthy of one of his films. He began repeatedly blasting one of Rachmaninoff's own compositions out the window as loud as he possibly could. Best of all, it worked. It got to the point where the poor composer could no longer stand it, and he moved to a new house just to get away from the comedian. Mission accomplished.
33. He Finally Spoke
Marx spent his entire career going to great lengths to never speak in public. But one night, all that changed. It was the evening he publicly announced his retirement during a 1963 live show. When the audience learned they were witnessing a legend’s final appearance, the entire mood of the room altered. Then, for the first time in his adult life, Harpo agreed to give a public speech...but, uh, maybe he shouldn’t have.
34. He Gave An Awkward Goodbye
In the end, Harpo spent several minutes reflecting on his career and his feelings about moving on, while the stunned crowd took in every word. The host Allan Sherman reportedly burst into tears when Marx confirmed that he truly was calling it quits, but Harpo didn’t stop there, interrupting Sherman when he tried to speak and generally just yammering on a bit.
As comedian Steve Allen joked about the speech: “Harpo wouldn’t shut up!” But hey, he earned it.
35. He Made A Famous Face
One of Harpo’s most famous comedic faces was something called “The Gookie,” and its backstory is perfectly “Harpo.” The face came about from his habit of imitating the mannerisms of a cigar store clerk from his childhood named Gookie. As Harpo remembered, when Gookie started rolling cigars, he got “so absorbed that he had no idea what a comic face he was making. His tongue lolled out in a fat roll, his cheeks puffed out and his eyes popped out and crossed themselves.”
Harpo would do an impression of this face on a regular basis as a youngster, just to get under the poor guy’s skin. Later, he incorporated it into every one of his screen performances.
36. He Launched A Mega Star
File:Marilyn Monroe photo pose Seven Year Itch.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgWhen the Marx Brothers made their final film, Love Happy, they ended up despising the result and almost never talked about it afterward. Predictably, it was a flop, but this very last film has a very big claim to fame. It launched the career of the one and only Marilyn Monroe. The then-unknown starlet had a brief cameo in the film, her first big on-screen appearance. The rest, as they say, is history.
37. He Clashed With Authority
Harpo was always a troublemaker. When theater tycoon E.F. Albee hired the Marx Brothers, he expected them to bow down to him and be loyal. Harpo’s response made the man’s blood boil. Stirring the pot, the comedian "innocently" appeared in a friend’s show at a small rival theater, and when Albee found out he dragged Harpo into his office so he could stare him down and intimidate him.
38. He Froze Looking At A Woman's Body
In his later life, Marx took up painting and became surprisingly good at it. Still, he did get one super awkward anecdote out of the process. Like many an amateur artist before him, Marx started learning how to draw by hiring a body model. But the moment the beautiful woman took her clothes off, Harpo froze and couldn’t continue. Which is exactly when the situation took a strange turn.
39. A Model Taught Him To Paint
As it happened, the woman Harpo had hired was actually something of an accomplished artist herself, not to mention cool as a cucumber on top of that. So when she saw Harpo’s distress, she actually got up and gave him a lesson about where to begin, calming his nerves in the process. Obviously, it ended up working out for both of them. I hope Harpo tipped well.
40. He Had Another Talent
File:Harpo Marx playing the harp (cropped).jpeg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgHarpo might be famous as a comedian, but he had another big talent: Playing the harp. Only, because this is Harpo Marx, he had to do even this with a twist. He only took up playing the instrument on a whim, and began learning to hold and play it by copying what an angel was doing in a picture he got from a corner store. Yes, this was the completely wrong way to do it, but that wasn’t all that Harpo got wrong.
41. He Messed Up Big Time
Harpo didn’t know anyone who could play the harp, so he had to learn everything by himself, top to bottom, including tuning it. Three years later, he discovered that he’d actually tuned it wrong, and had done practically every else wrong, too. He did try to correct this and eventually took professional lessons, but his instructors would often simply marvel at his unorthodox yet brilliant technique rather than teaching him.
42. Harpo Isn't His Real Name
Harpo’s real name, as many people could have guessed, wasn’t actually Harpo—it was Adolph. For reasons (surprisingly) having nothing to do with WWII, Marx actually changed it from Adolph to “Arthur” as a young adult, which obviously ended up being a good call once Hitler actually did come to power. But how exactly did he get the name “Harpo”?
43. Even His Nickname Has A Backstory
The simplest explanation is often the right one, and the same is true for Harpo and his nickname. Although some of the details are a little fuzzy, he almost certainly got the moniker at a card game from his friend Art Fisher, who referred to him as “Harpo” because...he played the harp. For what it’s worth, Fisher also gave all the Marx Brothers their stage names, minus “Zeppo.”
44. He Cheated His Music Teacher
File:Harpo and Chico Marx General Electric Theater 1959.JPG ...commons.wikimedia.orgBack when he could only dream of someday learning the harp, Harpo's family had a piano, but they could only afford lessons for one child. Somewhat insultingly, they chose Chico, not Harpo, for this privilege. But Harpo didn’t let that stop him. Practically everything Harpo learned about music, he got from secretly listening in on his brother’s piano lessons. Naughty boy.
45. He Was Obsessed With One Game
Marx became obsessed with croquet—to the point where he couldn’t live without the summer game, even in the winter. In one of his most ridiculous real-life antics, Marx bribed the landlords of a Manhattan parking garage to let him turn their roof into a makeshift croquet field. They initially obliged, but then quickly found out they had made an enormous error…
46. He Snubbed A Very Important Man
Marx and his crew placed such a high priority on their croquet hobby that they once intentionally kept New York Governor and future Presidential candidate Al Smith waiting on the phone for a whopping 20 minutes, just so that they could watch as one of the club’s members attempted a difficult shot. To the landlords’ relief, the fire department promptly put an end to the croquet arrangement as soon as they found out about it.
47. He Had A Fatal Flaw
Being the silent guy in the act can be fun, but Harpo once got cheated out of a huge deal. Because his character did not speak, NBC snubbed Harpo when they gave the Marx Brothers their own radio sitcom in 1932. In the midst of the Great Depression, Groucho and Chico each got paid more than $3,000 a week for just half an hour’s work, all while poor old Harpo could not participate.
48. He Created A Popular Expression
File:WilliamRandolphHearst.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIf you’ve ever used the expression “in the hot seat,” you might be surprised to learn that Harpo Marx originally coined it. During his social escapades, he attended parties at the famous mansion of William Randolph Hearst and noticed that whenever someone became less welcome, Hearst would seat them at the far end of the table near the fireplace. Being seated in the “hot seat” usually meant that you would soon stop receiving invitations.
49. He Almost Played A Whole Different Character
Today, it's extremely hard to associate Harpo Marx with anything other than his silent, clown-like, curly-haired character—but this almost wasn’t the case. Initially, the brothers had considered having Harpo’s character be a stereotypical, freckled Irishman named Patsy Brannigan, accent and all. I think most of us are pretty happy they didn’t stick with this idea.
50. He Had A Weird Obsession
Harpo was a strange man, and he had one weird quirk that he often took to extremes: An obsession with black jelly beans. Ever since his impoverished childhood, the candy had been a symbol of success in his mind, and as an adult he once purchased 30 dollars’ worth of jelly beans to snack on at the movies. Only, his grand excess didn't exactly go as planned.
The bag exploded and caused a huge mess for the theater staff—not to mention a fair amount of confusion.
51. You Can Hear What He Really Sounded Like
Although no known recordings exist of Marx speaking in public, it is actually possible for people today to hear what he sounded like. Someone found a copy of a home voice recording the comedian made while working on his autobiography where he recalls some of the crazy experiences of his youth. The recording confirms some surprising things.
First, Harpo sounds a lot like his brother Groucho; and second, he has a thick New York accent.
52. He Could Switch Gears
File:Harpo Marx Silent Panic DuPont Show 1960.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgDespite spending his whole life as a comedian, Marx eventually got the chance to play a serious dramatic role. In a 1960 Christmas-themed television play called A Silent Panic, he portrayed a deaf-mute character who inadvertently witnesses a murder and struggles to decide how to react. The performance is available on YouTube, and is actually pretty darn impressive.
53. He Made One Sound On Film
Although he never had a spoken line in a Marx Brothers film, some believe Harpo did once let his voice slip in one of them. In 1939’s At The Circus, Harpo’s character releases an exaggerated sneeze by shouting “Ah-choo!” in a clear voice, though he could have been mouthing someone else’s voice. Even so, there is another instance people cling to.
54. He "Talked" On A Technicality
Sure, he never talked in his performances, but Harpo did actually have a line in a movie early on in his career—there’s just one problem. It was a silent movie, so the clip doesn’t get us any closer to hearing what he sounded like in a professional capacity. The clip consists of the silent Marx Brother soundlessly mouthing the words, “You sure you can’t move?”
55. His Marriage Miraculously Lasted
Despite being a Hollywood marriage, Marx and Susan Fleming shared a long, happy life together. More than that, he and Fleming adored raising their large family. Harpo once quipped that when it came to children, he wanted, "So many that whenever we go out, there can be one in every window, waving to us." So when Harpo did finally pass, he went out in an incredibly fitting way.
56. He Had Impeccable Timing
Fájl:Marx Brothers 1948.jpg – Wikipédiahu.m.wikipedia.orgOn September 28, 1964, Harpo passed at the ripe old age of 75, leaving behind his wife Susan Fleming, his four children, and his beloved Marx Brothers. However, there was something special about this day. Always good with timing, comedic or otherwise, Harpo actually died on the very day of his 28th wedding anniversary with Fleming, which must have been a bittersweet event for the widow. But when his funeral came around, it was a full-on tearjerker.
57. He Ruined His Brother
As one of the elder Marx brothers, Harpo was also one of the first of his siblings to go, and the news particularly devastated his brother Groucho. Later on, Groucho’s son Arthur Marx recalled that Harpo’s funeral was one of the first and only times he had ever seen his father cry. Then again, that was good old Harpo; he’d make you laugh until you cried.
58. He Didn't Talk For A Reason
Harpo is best-known as the Marx Brother who never talks, but few people know the reason why. According to some, it’s because when they were first starting out in Vaudeville, the brothers had a stomach-dropping realization: Harpo had intense difficulty memorizing lines. Rather than trying to fix this shortcoming, they decided to simply make his character mute and have his comedy focus on pantomime. However, there may be a much different explanation.
59. He Was Insecure
Another story suggests that Harpo may have lapsed into silence in his film career not so much out of a canny choice, but rather because of a scathing review that he took to heart. After seeing him in one performance playing his usual foolish character, one critic noted that Harpo only achieved the effect he was going for “until he spoke.” The comedian fell silent from then on.
One bad decision can have detrimental consequences.
Sometimes, we might be oblivious to the cataclysmic decision we made.
Other times, however, we know we may have done something against our better judgment, but don't think it will matter in the grand scheme of things.
Only to realize we were wrong much too late.
The only thing that can rival experiencing your life being ruined in the blink of an eye, is witnessing others do so, and being absolutely helpless in the situation.
"What is the fastest way you have seen someone ruin their life?"
Honesty Is ALWAYS The Best Policy
"I'm a lawyer."
"Another well respected lawyer in my jurisdiction was involved in an absolutely huge property settlement involving dozens upon dozens of deeds, side agreements, financial documents, yada yada yada."
"The whole lot (presumably involving literally a hundred or so signatures) had been signed off by her client."
"In the early hours of the morning - having no doubt slaved away for untold hours getting everything ready for the settlement the next day - she must have realized that she had missed getting one signature on one minor document from her client so she faked it."
"I can see the pressure she was under and how she probably thought 'it doesn't matter, my client would have signed it anyway and only didn't because they overlooked it, no one will ever notice'."
"Someone noticed and she went from high paid property lawyer to never being able to practice again, just like that."
"People occasionally ask me to sign things off, as a lawyer, and suggest I overlook minor irregularities such as wanting me to witness a signature even though I didn't actually see the signatory sign."
"Then they get all offended and act like I'm being a stick-up-the-a** perfectionist when I won't do it."- princhester
Wear A Helmet.
"A close friend of my best friend grabbed his eight-year-old son's new skateboard and took off down a hill in Georgia."
"Hit a rock, landed on his head and had permanent brain damage."
"He lived years before he mercifully died."
"Had to be restrained the whole time because the damage made him erratic and violent."
"Wear a helmet!"- Figgywithit
Big Money...
"Watched a guy gamble $30k away in a night and then cried about losing his life savings and security had to get involved and escort him out because he started to get angry at the dealers because all they could offer him was free night stays at the hotel for playing so much but he wanted freeplay at the tables/slots and they refused."- jadenwydbro
Revenge Is Seldom, If Ever, Worth It
"I had a friend that had a promising career got upset and went into full road rage for a woman who forgot to turn her blinker on and he slightly bumped her back bumper on the freeway causing her to lose control and flipping over and killing the driver and her two daughters."
"Oddly..it was all caught on his car dash cam and a trucker with his own dash cam that was behind him."
"He is now doing 40+ years in prison."- vargo911
Luck Has A Way Of Running Out
"Watched a buddy spend his entire life savings betting on the Paulo Costa Vs Adesanya."
"I begged him not to do it and he lost his and his wife’s entire 60k nest egg."
"She left him immediately with the kids and now he lives at his moms house."
"He had been betting on prize fighting for a short while and winning."
"Nothing outrageous and heck I even bet with him on a time or two because it was smaller bets 1-200."
"He had been winning probably made a few grand not sure how much but he was always saying he won and showing off his bets."
"So I can confirm he had been winning and his luck was pretty impressive."
"As far as I know he doesn’t gamble anymore and is just trying to rebuild his life."
"He lost his wife but does spend a lot time with the kids."- Cmsmks
What A Way To Begin...
"Arrive at work on their first day as a temp at around 10am, caught stealing the bosses wallet at 12:30, taken away by Police at 1pm." - Reddit
Look To The Skies...
"Saw a pilot without instrument rating take off into IMC conditions (instrument-meteorological conditions is a flight category that describes weather conditions that require pilots to fly primarily by instruments rather than use visual cues to maintain controlled flight)."
"He had his whole family on board."
"Weather was closing in."
"He agreed that it was impossible to get home, but wanted to make it to a larger municipal airport so they wouldn't have to stay in a motel."
"The fuel attendant and a bunch of old veteran pilots hanging around the airport office all said they'd drive him to a nicer place, but he thought he'd have a better chance of getting out the next day from the other airport."
"Conditions weren't that bad when he took off, but we all agreed later that no one without instrument rating would/should have flown that day."
"So the last time anyone saw that whole family (pilot, wife, two adult sons) alive was all of us watching him take off and fly just under the cloud base to do a 'scud run' in the direction of the nearest muni."
"They crashed in full overcast ten miles out."
"No survivors."
"All told, it probably took fifteen minutes for this guy to make the worst- and last- decision of his life."
"This was over 30 years ago, but it's haunted me ever since- what could/should I have done differently that might have convinced him to not fly?"
"I was a newbie pilot at the time, but even I knew it was a bad idea."
"There were at least three other pilots there that day."
"Did he feel ganged up on?"
"Could we have appointed the most grizzled straight-shootin gravel-voiced veteran to take the guy aside and give him a 'I'm not your dad, but' talk?"
"Should we have tackled him and taken away his keys?"
"Called the cops?"
"What would we even have told them?"
"I've long since come to terms with it, but there are still the occasional moments where I feel like I failed."- gaspronomib
We've all done things against our better judgment.
Sometimes, however, it's essential to really think about the consequences of doing so before proceeding.
As one bad decision might be all it takes.
We've all said things we regret.
Most often, when we find ourselves in situations where our emotions are in a heightened state, such as a breakup.
Indeed, though some people will go to every effort to end a relationship amicably, others can't hide their hurt, frustration, and resentment in the heat of the moment.
Resulting in their saying some unpleasant if not downright nasty things which may have felt good in the moment, but which they'll likely look back on in horror and embarrassment.
"Dear Reddit, what is the worst thing YOU have said during a breakup?"
The Unoriginality Makes It Worse...
"Her: 'is it someone else?'"
"Me: 'no, it's just you'."- stingyboy
Ouch!
"Two months after our breakup, she asked me if I missed her."
"I told her I missed her parents more than I missed her."- lxkandel06·
Knowing It Is One Thing, Hearing It Is Another...
"The worst is telling someone you don't love them anymore and genuinely seeing the heartbreak on their face."
"That's a gut-wrenching thing to see when you know your words caused it."- nryporter25
break up GIFGiphyThat Door Is Closed
"The breakup wasn't my choice, but when he tried a few weeks later to reconnect, I said 'Oh, I've actually been really happy since we've been apart'."
"'I don't think I could get back together now'."
"My sister called me savage for it, but I wasn't trying to be mean."
"It was the truth, and I just hadn't realized it up until the thought of taking him back filled me with dread."- HospitalFluffy
Walked Into That One..
"She was breaking up with me, and I told her, 'You know you are right, and I agree, we aren't very compatible, and our relationship has been on the decline for sometime'."
"Those were my true thoughts and feelings."
"I felt a sense of relief when she broke up with me because I realized it was the best move for the both of us."
"So why was this the worst thing to say?"
"It ended up making her want to double down on the relationship."
"I was bombarded with non-stop texts, phone calls, unnanounced visits to my apartment."
"All of that."
"Apparently breaking up things amicably was not how she wanted to go."
"I think she was adamant she left with the upper hand."- slytherinprolly
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphyIn The Heat Of The Moment
“'Please don’t leave, no one else will ever love me'.”
"Said by me sobbing in the open doorway of the new apartment of my wife of barely one year."
"My self esteem was totally shattered."
"My life was over, there just was nothing left."
"She was kind but firm."
"She knew the relationship wasn’t a good fit before I accepted that."
"We were very young, friends but not life partners."
"I didn’t fully understand until I was a few years into my second marriage."
"We both went on to have successful, happy lifelong second marriages."- DadsRGR8
Okay Then...
"Not a break up, but was seeing this girl off and on (because she wouldn't commit to actually dating)."
"Got sick of the yo-yoing, fired up Facebook Dating and met my now girlfriend for drinks two days later."
"When the non-committal girl came back and I told her I was off the market I said 'I'm just looking for someone who knows what commitment is'."
"Must have hit a nerve because about six weeks later she was pregnant."- BeefInGR
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphyName Calling Is Never The Answer
“'You’re turning into your mother and I hate that b*tch'.”
"I’m sure there was a more diplomatic way to phrase that but 19-year-old me was out of f*cks to give at that point."- shadowimage
No Thank You...
"Her, 'This isn't working out I think we should just be friends'."
"Me, "'Lets just never talk again is probably best'."- Schrodenger
Some People Just Need A Kick In The Pants...
"Not me but someone told my aunt they were breaking up with her because she was a deadbeat going nowhere in life."
"Then she became a doctor out of spite lol."- ResidentNeck4465
Greys Anatomy What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphyWhat The Actual...?
“'Sex is part of the reason I’m ending things'.”
"In my defense it was my first time breaking up with a guy."
"The man had a boner the entire time I was breaking up with him, he was crying, and he kept trying to have sex one last time during my break up speech."
"I was perplexed."- SinfullySinless
When They Go Low...
"I once ended a struggling relationship."
"A few months later I got an email from the person, and it was pages of everything I had ever done wrong in the relationship."
"I realized that this was why the relationship had been struggling."
"All these thing that had been bothering my partner, and they had bottled them all up inside instead of, say, talking to me about it."
"So, my entire response to this multiple page email with everything I had ever done wrong."
"'Thank you, that was very helpful'."- jacksparrow1
Young Love...
"'No one will ever love you like I do'."
"At the time, I was young and that's really how I felt."
"In retrospect, it was mean and manipulative."
"We're now both in happy marriages."- Formaldehyd3
Dawsons Creek Crying Dawson GIF by HULUGiphyA breakup is always bound to unleash many feelings we may not have realized we had.
Making a breakup one of those times where it is always wise, if not paramount, to think before speaking.