Most people know that gambling is a sure path to loss. Most casinos play games where the odds are never in the favor of the player, and always in favor of the casino taking every last cent you have. That being said... some find it very difficult to rip themselves away from the table and won't stop until they literally have no more to give.
Redditor Rilerific was curious to hear those stories
Here were some of the most difficult to watch.
A gentleman at a poker table in the five seat urinated on the dealer.
I never caught the signal the dealer used but it was effective as all the guys who normally collect boxes from the tables show up out of nowhere and removed him from the table like they were taking out the trash (well, they were...).
Table broke up so they could clean, dealer showered and put on a new uniform and I saw her on the floor again a few hours later.
24. Phoning It InGiphy
I work in I.T. for a Casino and just had to replace a phone that was ripped off the wall and thrown at one of our pit bosses over a bad loss.
23. Pocket Vomit
Dealer for 10 years. 3rd DAY DEALING, fresh out of dealer school I am dealing Pai Gow Tiles. (Asian domino game, try to get pairs and tiles to add up as close to 9 as possible). On a $25 minimum game. Guy bets $25-$75 for a good 2 hours. He then slides his whole stack on one hand for 3k.
For those who know the game, he gets Teen-Dai Bo. I pull Ji-Jun. For those who do not know the game, its like he got pocket kings and I got pocket Aces. Or he pulled a 20 in blackjack and I just pulled 11 cards to make 21. The odds are ASTRONOMICAL. It's the ONLY hand that beats him.
He slams his fist on the table swearing in Chinese, chips fly everywhere, and begins to shove his finger down his throat. He throws up all over my game... Close the table and pit down for clean-up. 3rd day dealing...
Money/benefits are great though. Highly recommend the industry. Made 30-40 an hr.
22. Plane LossGiphy
I actually did work in a casino in Las Vegas a few years back, in VIP services. One of our high rollers, who visited frequently, had a very bad gambling problem that his wife was divorcing him over. He lost everything at the tables and couldn't even afford his plane ticket back home -- the casino felt so sorry for him, we ended up buying a ticket back home for him.
Never heard from him again after that.
21. Vegas Lights
Former table dealer here.
I've had drunk guys tell me I'm the worst dealer ever, I suck, etc. I would just reply "have a nice day!" The other people at the table were generally on my side. I've higher rollers slam the table with their fist or not react at all to losing thousands.
The worst and the saddest one that sticks in my mind is a guy who was around $2,000 down on blackjack. He was nice. He was tipping pretty well. I was rooting for him, as a I tended to do. I knocked his tens for good luck. Then he lost a big one and just yelled so loud that the entire casino must've heard it. It was the kind of desperation in his voice and everything about him that told me he could not afford to lose as much as he just lost. He went to the atm, and I rotated to another table.
It was stuff like that, the smoke in my face, sleep deprivation from the late nights that led me to get out of there. A lot of other unpleasant moments too, but they all blur together. Money was nice, but it wasn't for me.
20. For LuckGiphy
Table games dealer here.
I work at a casino in New Zealand. Had a Thai woman a few months ago betting 300k a hand. She lost 12 million at my table in less than an hour. The casino then paid for her private charter jet to Melbourne and back ($70,000) so she could get more money. Not exactly sure why she had to go to Melbourne to get more money, but I was doing a 16 hour shift and she came back to my table after her trip and dropped another 15 million.
Haven't had anyone close to spending that much money ever.
19. Revenge On The Slots
One guy was so angry at his losses that he took 200 quarters, cut them in half, taped one side, and proceeded to put them in various slot machines. Once they entered the machine, it would jam it up.
18. It's Only A Game
Was a waitress in casino establishment 10 years ago. Suicides were not common there but they did happen.
Saddest was an asian woman who hung herself . She lost 20k or so from memory and was not a high roller type.
3-4 days later her car was to be towed from the underground carpark. Sadly she had left her two fluffy dogs in there and nobody knew. Poor things were dead.
The establishment then put on parking patrol officers who check cars every few hours. They would find (alive) dogs and kids in there far too often.
17. Revenge Of The SlotsGiphy
I used to be a Casino Host on Cruise Ships casinos. Seen many people lose it, but there is one woman that I'll never forget... She was gambling A LOT. Towards the end of the cruise I would find her on the slots she was crying and playing. I asked her whats wrong and she said I cannot afford to play anymore, this is all on my credit card...talking/playing/crying at the same time. I banned her from the Casino but it was already too late.
Worked in the cage before becoming a dealer, saddest thing I used to commonly see is people getting cash advances of $15 and paying a $7.99 fee to do it. (It was $7.99 to get up to $100, with $15 being the minimum). They would pay a 50% vig to piddle away $15....I guess they thought that big jackpot was just around the corner, sad.
15. After The FallGiphy
Haven't been in the gaming biz since the 1990's, but I've seen everything from tantrums on the floor to attacks on workers. The worst one though was some moron right out of prison with his homies lost his money on the blackjack table, took it personally, went out to his car, waited for the dealer to get off work, followed him, and then tried to beat him when he stopped for gas.
14. Backwards Logic
Not a casino employee, but just the other day my Father in law (security) watched an elderly lady lose everything at a poker table, and then go around and steal a couple people's purses/wallets.
When they confronted her and asked for ID, she wouldn't give it to them because they weren't the police. When the police arrived, she still wouldn't give them her ID or even her name, saying they couldn't arrest her if they didn't know who she was. Needless to say, they arrested her anyways. The last thing the cop asked her was, are you at least going to cooperate and walk out with us to the car, or are you going to do it the hard way.
They had to carry her out and she was kicking the windows in the back of the car the entire time.
13. Winning and Losing
My girlfriend's grandfather won it big one night and then was followed home by 4 People and killed for the money. So that's the worst way I've seen someone handle a win.
12. Ridiculous TimeGiphy
My friend just started at the new Catskill Resort Worldwide Casino, and has already said one guy got naked in the bathroom and started washing his clothes. They have been open 2 weeks.
11. Off The Wall
Drove a car into the casino wall... Not the doors.. the WALL. The driver had a traumatic brain injury and luckily didn't injure anyone else.
10. Be Very Careful
I was a security guard at a native american casino for just under 2 years. I worked the graveyard shift the entire time before i had to leave for my own mental health due to how depressing this job could be. A few of the things i saw just in the category of losses were as follows.
• elderly people who would spend their entire social security checks in one night and be forced to use food banks for the remainder of the month.
• many couples getting into fights (sometimes physical) over the other "giving them bad luck"
• anyone who would win a lot in the first 20 mins they were there then "chasing losses" after they gave it back to the house often emptying their entire savings accounts.
• lots every month losing their entire paycheck, then savings, then taking out cash advances (that of course could be done in house) attempting to win back their lost paycheck.
The worst one i ever saw was a known local business owner losing what he called " over half my life's savings " in under 8 hours at $2,000 a hand on a blackjack table then attempting to strangle the dealer, I had to tackle him and put him in handcuffs he left the property in a sheriff's car and attempted to enter the building 3 times in the next 2 weeks.
9. The Vultures CircleGiphy
Not an employee but stuff. my mum's friend won a slot machine jackpot. Security had to swoop in and save her because she was a very casual gambler and would use like 5 coins then leave, but that night on one of her first coins she won the jackpot. The people around her were gambling addicts and some of them had been working that machine for hours before and felt it should have been their win. So they tried to attack her for the money but she did get it. This wouldn't have been a big win either because it was a small place but scary
8. Know Your Limit
This lady with a serious gambling problem was asked to leave as she'd been in the building for over her limit... as a protest, she pissed her pants and dripped it into the machine she was at and refused to stand up or walk out. Had to be dragged with pee running down her legs dripping onto the carpet, down an escalator and onto the street.
7. Fees Add Up
I worked in banking for a bit and being able to see people's accounts who are gamblers backs up this statement.
They don't go in and get say 500 out of an atm and then lose it, get upset, and go home. They get 100. Then 80. Then 140. On my end, I would see the transactions with the 3 dollar fee attached all on the same night within minutes of each other sometimes.
It seems like they are in some trance and probably have almost no idea how much money they lost.
6. A Packed DayGiphy
I sat next to a guy. He drove a Pepsi truck. He said his mom died and left him $30,000. He'd never seem this much money before so he thought he could turn it into $100,000. We're at the blackjack table. He's getting wasted and crying inconsistently bc of his mom, talking about her dying. In 2 hours he loses everything. He has this look of nervousness on his face and said his wife is going to kill him if she finds out about this, bc they have 4 kids and wanted to buy a house.
He walked out, 10 minutes later I go to my car and see that he got a DUI.
In 24 hours, his mom died, he gets a ton of money, loses it all, will probably get divorced, gets a DUI, and is sitting in the back of a cop car.
5. Death Knell
I was security at a Casino for a few years, saddest story for me was this older gentleman let's call him "Tom" for privacy sake, Tom would frequent the Casino every day spending anywhere from $200-$300, I had striked up lots of conversations with him because he was a regular and he was genuinely kind person who I enjoyed seeing.
One day Tom comes in and I can tell he is upset, I don't make anything of it, but after seeing the guy for a few years almost everyday, that day he looked really "off" so a couple hours go by and I track him down and ask how's the day going? Any big wins? Just general chit chat, he starts sobbing, tears running down his face, his wife had passed away from "sudden cardiac death" is what I believe he called it, the night before, and he was devastated, we talked for quite awhile, I tried comforting him while he played the machines, I had noticed he was betting EXTREMELY large, $200-$300 per spin on the slot machine, I knew that was a lot for him, but I didn't saying anything because it's not my business and I was sure it's a coping mechanism for him at the moment, doing something he loved when he just lost the love of his life.
Hours later I see him heading out the door, I run up to him, catch him and wish him all the best and that I'll see him soon, he smiled, said thanks for the chat and thank you for the condolences and left.
4. Pants PlayGiphy
I watched my uncle lose everything at a blackjack table, so he proceeded to the bathroom came out with his pants off and throw them on the table and say pants plays. The dealer said "we can't take your pants sir". He said "Why not? You've taken everything else" Needless to say he was escorted out of the casino very upset.
Have worked in casinos for nearly a decade and the saddest ones are the players who lose and show no aggression or sadness at all.
I had a player who was down US$1 million at the end of a night of roulette and he had a completely vacant, 1,000 yard stare look on his face as he quietly left.
2. Clearly, He Could Lose
Not an employee but my girlfriend and I were at a local casino for dinner on Saturday so we decided to take a lap around the playing floor afterwards. We are walking by the blackjack tables and notice a small crowd around a guy who had a pile of chips in front of him. After it's clear he lost it all to the dealer he starts screaming that he couldn't lose and begins to slam his head into the table. Ends up leaving in handcuffs
1. Bemused GamblingGiphy
I do have a good story about the worst I saw someone handle a win.
This older gentleman was a regular and a total jerk. Never tipped, never smiled or said hello, and was always in a foul mood. I was watching him play a fifty cent machine one night when he hit 3 jackpot symbols and won five grand.
I went up to him and congratulated him and I'll never forget the bemused look on his face. When the machine hits a single payout of over $1,200, the machine locks up and won't spin again until an attendant resets it. He just kept hitting the button in vain trying to keep playing like a child who's toy stopped working.
When I told him that the machine was not going to spin until we paid him his hand pay, his only words were "can I play this one?" And motioned to the machine next to his. I told him that he could and he moved over and went straight back into his zombie trance.
When we brought his jackpot winnings to him he huffed and puffed because we asked him to stop playing for a minute while we counted out his $5,000. It's like the money didn't even matter.
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.Season 3 Reaction GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
"Do you know who I am!?!"- ThoriumLad.Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
"People who brag about their parents’ money."- SpecialExamination41.Hustling Music Video GIFGiphy
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
“The lights are on but no one’s home.”
Lovemesomecarrotsseason 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCGiphy
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphy
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_BluesExcited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphy
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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