Casino Employees Share The Worst Reactions To Gamblers Losing Everything
Most people know that gambling is a sure path to loss. Most casinos play games where the odds are never in the favor of the player, and always in favor of the casino taking every last cent you have. That being said... some find it very difficult to rip themselves away from the table and won't stop until they literally have no more to give.
Redditor Rilerific was curious to hear those stories
Casino Employees of reddit, what is the worst you have ever seen someone handle a loss?
Here were some of the most difficult to watch.
25. Pee-ker
A gentleman at a poker table in the five seat urinated on the dealer.
I never caught the signal the dealer used but it was effective as all the guys who normally collect boxes from the tables show up out of nowhere and removed him from the table like they were taking out the trash (well, they were...).
Table broke up so they could clean, dealer showered and put on a new uniform and I saw her on the floor again a few hours later.
24. Phoning It In
I work in I.T. for a Casino and just had to replace a phone that was ripped off the wall and thrown at one of our pit bosses over a bad loss.
23. Pocket Vomit
Dealer for 10 years. 3rd DAY DEALING, fresh out of dealer school I am dealing Pai Gow Tiles. (Asian domino game, try to get pairs and tiles to add up as close to 9 as possible). On a $25 minimum game. Guy bets $25-$75 for a good 2 hours. He then slides his whole stack on one hand for 3k.
For those who know the game, he gets Teen-Dai Bo. I pull Ji-Jun. For those who do not know the game, its like he got pocket kings and I got pocket Aces. Or he pulled a 20 in blackjack and I just pulled 11 cards to make 21. The odds are ASTRONOMICAL. It's the ONLY hand that beats him.
He slams his fist on the table swearing in Chinese, chips fly everywhere, and begins to shove his finger down his throat. He throws up all over my game... Close the table and pit down for clean-up. 3rd day dealing...
Money/benefits are great though. Highly recommend the industry. Made 30-40 an hr.
22. Plane Loss
I actually did work in a casino in Las Vegas a few years back, in VIP services. One of our high rollers, who visited frequently, had a very bad gambling problem that his wife was divorcing him over. He lost everything at the tables and couldn't even afford his plane ticket back home -- the casino felt so sorry for him, we ended up buying a ticket back home for him.
Never heard from him again after that.
21. Vegas Lights
Former table dealer here.
I've had drunk guys tell me I'm the worst dealer ever, I suck, etc. I would just reply "have a nice day!" The other people at the table were generally on my side. I've higher rollers slam the table with their fist or not react at all to losing thousands.
The worst and the saddest one that sticks in my mind is a guy who was around $2,000 down on blackjack. He was nice. He was tipping pretty well. I was rooting for him, as a I tended to do. I knocked his tens for good luck. Then he lost a big one and just yelled so loud that the entire casino must've heard it. It was the kind of desperation in his voice and everything about him that told me he could not afford to lose as much as he just lost. He went to the atm, and I rotated to another table.
It was stuff like that, the smoke in my face, sleep deprivation from the late nights that led me to get out of there. A lot of other unpleasant moments too, but they all blur together. Money was nice, but it wasn't for me.
20. For Luck
Table games dealer here.
I work at a casino in New Zealand. Had a Thai woman a few months ago betting 300k a hand. She lost 12 million at my table in less than an hour. The casino then paid for her private charter jet to Melbourne and back ($70,000) so she could get more money. Not exactly sure why she had to go to Melbourne to get more money, but I was doing a 16 hour shift and she came back to my table after her trip and dropped another 15 million.
Haven't had anyone close to spending that much money ever.
19. Revenge On The Slots
One guy was so angry at his losses that he took 200 quarters, cut them in half, taped one side, and proceeded to put them in various slot machines. Once they entered the machine, it would jam it up.
18. It's Only A Game
Was a waitress in casino establishment 10 years ago. Suicides were not common there but they did happen.
Saddest was an asian woman who hung herself . She lost 20k or so from memory and was not a high roller type.
3-4 days later her car was to be towed from the underground carpark. Sadly she had left her two fluffy dogs in there and nobody knew. Poor things were dead.
The establishment then put on parking patrol officers who check cars every few hours. They would find (alive) dogs and kids in there far too often.
[username deleted]
17. Revenge Of The Slots
I used to be a Casino Host on Cruise Ships casinos. Seen many people lose it, but there is one woman that I'll never forget... She was gambling A LOT. Towards the end of the cruise I would find her on the slots she was crying and playing. I asked her whats wrong and she said I cannot afford to play anymore, this is all on my credit card...talking/playing/crying at the same time. I banned her from the Casino but it was already too late.
16. Tricked
Worked in the cage before becoming a dealer, saddest thing I used to commonly see is people getting cash advances of $15 and paying a $7.99 fee to do it. (It was $7.99 to get up to $100, with $15 being the minimum). They would pay a 50% vig to piddle away $15....I guess they thought that big jackpot was just around the corner, sad.
15. After The Fall
Haven't been in the gaming biz since the 1990's, but I've seen everything from tantrums on the floor to attacks on workers. The worst one though was some moron right out of prison with his homies lost his money on the blackjack table, took it personally, went out to his car, waited for the dealer to get off work, followed him, and then tried to beat him when he stopped for gas.
14. Backwards Logic
Not a casino employee, but just the other day my Father in law (security) watched an elderly lady lose everything at a poker table, and then go around and steal a couple people's purses/wallets.
When they confronted her and asked for ID, she wouldn't give it to them because they weren't the police. When the police arrived, she still wouldn't give them her ID or even her name, saying they couldn't arrest her if they didn't know who she was. Needless to say, they arrested her anyways. The last thing the cop asked her was, are you at least going to cooperate and walk out with us to the car, or are you going to do it the hard way.
They had to carry her out and she was kicking the windows in the back of the car the entire time.
13. Winning and Losing
My girlfriend's grandfather won it big one night and then was followed home by 4 People and killed for the money. So that's the worst way I've seen someone handle a win.
[deleted username]
12. Ridiculous Time
My friend just started at the new Catskill Resort Worldwide Casino, and has already said one guy got naked in the bathroom and started washing his clothes. They have been open 2 weeks.
11. Off The Wall
Drove a car into the casino wall... Not the doors.. the WALL. The driver had a traumatic brain injury and luckily didn't injure anyone else.
10. Be Very Careful
I was a security guard at a native american casino for just under 2 years. I worked the graveyard shift the entire time before i had to leave for my own mental health due to how depressing this job could be. A few of the things i saw just in the category of losses were as follows.
• elderly people who would spend their entire social security checks in one night and be forced to use food banks for the remainder of the month.
• many couples getting into fights (sometimes physical) over the other "giving them bad luck"
• anyone who would win a lot in the first 20 mins they were there then "chasing losses" after they gave it back to the house often emptying their entire savings accounts.
• lots every month losing their entire paycheck, then savings, then taking out cash advances (that of course could be done in house) attempting to win back their lost paycheck.
The worst one i ever saw was a known local business owner losing what he called " over half my life's savings " in under 8 hours at $2,000 a hand on a blackjack table then attempting to strangle the dealer, I had to tackle him and put him in handcuffs he left the property in a sheriff's car and attempted to enter the building 3 times in the next 2 weeks.
9. The Vultures Circle
Not an employee but stuff. my mum's friend won a slot machine jackpot. Security had to swoop in and save her because she was a very casual gambler and would use like 5 coins then leave, but that night on one of her first coins she won the jackpot. The people around her were gambling addicts and some of them had been working that machine for hours before and felt it should have been their win. So they tried to attack her for the money but she did get it. This wouldn't have been a big win either because it was a small place but scary
8. Know Your Limit
This lady with a serious gambling problem was asked to leave as she'd been in the building for over her limit... as a protest, she pissed her pants and dripped it into the machine she was at and refused to stand up or walk out. Had to be dragged with pee running down her legs dripping onto the carpet, down an escalator and onto the street.
7. Fees Add Up
I worked in banking for a bit and being able to see people's accounts who are gamblers backs up this statement.
They don't go in and get say 500 out of an atm and then lose it, get upset, and go home. They get 100. Then 80. Then 140. On my end, I would see the transactions with the 3 dollar fee attached all on the same night within minutes of each other sometimes.
It seems like they are in some trance and probably have almost no idea how much money they lost.
[username deleted]
6. A Packed Day
I sat next to a guy. He drove a Pepsi truck. He said his mom died and left him $30,000. He'd never seem this much money before so he thought he could turn it into $100,000. We're at the blackjack table. He's getting wasted and crying inconsistently bc of his mom, talking about her dying. In 2 hours he loses everything. He has this look of nervousness on his face and said his wife is going to kill him if she finds out about this, bc they have 4 kids and wanted to buy a house.
He walked out, 10 minutes later I go to my car and see that he got a DUI.
In 24 hours, his mom died, he gets a ton of money, loses it all, will probably get divorced, gets a DUI, and is sitting in the back of a cop car.
5. Death Knell
I was security at a Casino for a few years, saddest story for me was this older gentleman let's call him "Tom" for privacy sake, Tom would frequent the Casino every day spending anywhere from $200-$300, I had striked up lots of conversations with him because he was a regular and he was genuinely kind person who I enjoyed seeing.
One day Tom comes in and I can tell he is upset, I don't make anything of it, but after seeing the guy for a few years almost everyday, that day he looked really "off" so a couple hours go by and I track him down and ask how's the day going? Any big wins? Just general chit chat, he starts sobbing, tears running down his face, his wife had passed away from "sudden cardiac death" is what I believe he called it, the night before, and he was devastated, we talked for quite awhile, I tried comforting him while he played the machines, I had noticed he was betting EXTREMELY large, $200-$300 per spin on the slot machine, I knew that was a lot for him, but I didn't saying anything because it's not my business and I was sure it's a coping mechanism for him at the moment, doing something he loved when he just lost the love of his life.
Hours later I see him heading out the door, I run up to him, catch him and wish him all the best and that I'll see him soon, he smiled, said thanks for the chat and thank you for the condolences and left.
[username deleted]
4. Pants Play
I watched my uncle lose everything at a blackjack table, so he proceeded to the bathroom came out with his pants off and throw them on the table and say pants plays. The dealer said "we can't take your pants sir". He said "Why not? You've taken everything else" Needless to say he was escorted out of the casino very upset.
3. Vacancy
Have worked in casinos for nearly a decade and the saddest ones are the players who lose and show no aggression or sadness at all.
I had a player who was down US$1 million at the end of a night of roulette and he had a completely vacant, 1,000 yard stare look on his face as he quietly left.
2. Clearly, He Could Lose
Not an employee but my girlfriend and I were at a local casino for dinner on Saturday so we decided to take a lap around the playing floor afterwards. We are walking by the blackjack tables and notice a small crowd around a guy who had a pile of chips in front of him. After it's clear he lost it all to the dealer he starts screaming that he couldn't lose and begins to slam his head into the table. Ends up leaving in handcuffs
1. Bemused Gambling
I do have a good story about the worst I saw someone handle a win.
This older gentleman was a regular and a total jerk. Never tipped, never smiled or said hello, and was always in a foul mood. I was watching him play a fifty cent machine one night when he hit 3 jackpot symbols and won five grand.
I went up to him and congratulated him and I'll never forget the bemused look on his face. When the machine hits a single payout of over $1,200, the machine locks up and won't spin again until an attendant resets it. He just kept hitting the button in vain trying to keep playing like a child who's toy stopped working.
When I told him that the machine was not going to spin until we paid him his hand pay, his only words were "can I play this one?" And motioned to the machine next to his. I told him that he could and he moved over and went straight back into his zombie trance.
When we brought his jackpot winnings to him he huffed and puffed because we asked him to stop playing for a minute while we counted out his $5,000. It's like the money didn't even matter.
Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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