Careful People Share Red Flags To Keep In Mind When Looking For A Therapist
Therapy already has you in a vulnerable place.[rebelmouse-image 18346824 is_animated_gif=
So while you're feeling so emotionally raw and scared, it's important to find a therapist who will be the right fit for you. But how do you know if your therapist is the right fit or if they're just playing you for money?
u/StanLeeIsAwesome asked Reddit:
What are some red flags to look for when considering a therapist?
Here were some of the answers.
Bad Memories[rebelmouse-image 18346825 is_animated_gif=
After a few visits: They don't remember anything you tell them and you are constantly left re-explaining the same things over and over. Find a new one cuz they won't ever give a sh-t. Had this issue with a couple therapists and stayed waaaay too long.
Post Partum Misdiagnosis[rebelmouse-image 18346827 is_animated_gif=
My doctor suggested seeing a therapist for my PPD. I was anxiety ridden and couldn't even leave the house with the baby because I was convinced he would die somehow. The therapist told me I was "just tired" and didn't need the anxiety meds that my doctor had just started me on. Instead I should get a food grinder and mash up food for him (only 4 months old) so he would be full and sleep. Simple. Then out of nowhere she told me I needed to make sure my husband "felt like a man". I did not return after that.
It's The Thought That Counts[rebelmouse-image 18346828 is_animated_gif=
They don't ask thoughtful questions EVER (you typically want someone who will help you grow, and a therapist who never asks questions won't do that), and/or they don't listen to you. It dawned on me that my (ex) psychiatrist/therapist wasn't a good fit when I realized on my own I had been showing signs of schizophrenia for a year....but she hadn't been paying tons of attention to what I was saying/my symptoms . Sought a second opinion and ended up finding my current psychiatrist/therapist whom I like a lot.
Source Identification[rebelmouse-image 18346830 is_animated_gif=
When they tell you that your anxiety isn't related to school or family or any other stressors you've mentioned, but PMS. Especially if they double down after you tell them that you stopped getting your period a few months before the panic attacks started.
Amazon Therapy[rebelmouse-image 18346831 is_animated_gif=
I had a therapist who would be online shopping during our sessions. I know because she would occasionally show me something she was looking at.
Mollify The Abuser[rebelmouse-image 18346832 is_animated_gif=
I don't know if it's a real red flag but when I went to a therapist to talk about my stepmother assaulting me physically and I told her that I wish I had called the cops on her when she said that that wouldn't have been the best idea because I should've thought about her children and the relationship between my dad and her.
Damages[rebelmouse-image 18346833 is_animated_gif=
I've been told I have a bad therapist, and I'm inclined to agree, but she's just the only one available to me right now.
- She constantly tries to push religion on me. Judaism specifically, which is what my family is (and what she is), but I'm Agnostic and she doesn't seem to want to accept that answer. She constantly feels the need to remind me that everything would totally be so much better if I'd just believe in God.
- Constantly tells me that I should take pills even though I've already made it clear that I'm trying to work through my problems with therapy. Hell, even my damn Psychiatrist agrees with me!
- When I've talked about my physical ailments, she's told me that they're probably all in my head.
- Has outright said that despite my mother being physically, verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, I'm "not being abused" and that she "has the right to do what she wants", even when what she does is clearly harmful.
- Has told me that I should not seek the rights to claim my own disability check (instead of my mother) because it "looks good on paper" that I'm apparently incapable of handling my own money.
- Has claimed that I do not suffer from trauma, despite me having total freakouts in very specific situations which are very clearly caused by past abuses.
So yeah, she's just wonderful.
Victim Blaming[rebelmouse-image 18346835 is_animated_gif=
I saw a therapist who spent nearly as much time talking about herself as she did talking to me. She also didn't seem terribly interested in my background and life story. I stopped seeing her when I realized that she believed in this "you chose whether or not to be happy" mentality. I felt that she was taking my issues too lightly and it was demeaning.
Basic Differences[rebelmouse-image 18346836 is_animated_gif=
This might not be a bad thing for everyone, but I am an atheist and the last therapist I saw just could not accept that about me. He kept on talking about his own near death experience, and how he wanted to start a ministry and he thought I'd be really into it, etc. He would just disagree with my basic belief system as a matter of course- which makes it very difficult to have a meaningful conversation about my feelings and problems.
Avoid a therapist who seems to have an agenda beyond helping you.
Zodiac Therapy[rebelmouse-image 18346837 is_animated_gif=
I had a therapist who told me I'm moody because I'm a Pisces and gave me some sort of Native American smoke thing that I was supposed to light and wave in the corners of my room to ward off bad spirits.
I'm moody because I'm bipolar and I was worried about intruders because I have anxiety.
Differences Can Save Our Lives[rebelmouse-image 18346388 is_animated_gif=
The thing is, a relationship with a therapist is a very individualized thing. I was going through a bit of a tough patch recently and a friend recommended me her therapist and after one meeting I knew this woman was horrible...for me. She talked about her own personal stuff, bragged about how young and limber she was for her (relatively old) age, and was even hostile to me when I talked about my own history as a dancer. To me, this woman shouldn't be treating anyone for anything except athlete's foot, but for my friend she was wonderful. They clicked.
Long before that, l had a therapist who not just saved my life, but remade it, allowing me to live so many of dreams I can't even count. But, for the first year or so, I actually really didn't like her and thought she was a bit dumb. I was desperate when I met her, I was incredibly depressed and I called a few therapists, since it was August only one was around and returned my call, and it was her. I met with her and she didn't knock my socks off at all but I just didn't have the energy to keep looking. Plus, her office was right near where I worked. We ended up working together on and off for ten years and she took a lost, chubby, girl who didn't know how to make friends or what to do with her life, and helped her become a dancer, a writer, a scientist, have a life full of good quality friends and fall in love an end up with someone that girl would have thought was way out of her league. She retired, hence why I look for other ones from time to time.
So, the answer is, go with your gut, but don't be put off by someone just because they challenge you or don't completely buy you bullshit. Part of their job is to see through your BS into your real self and your problems, and not just tell you that you are doing everything right and the rest of the world is the problem.
Archangel Therapy[rebelmouse-image 18346838 is_animated_gif=
I had a therapist that seemed pretty good and I saw him for a few sessions until he pulled out a deck of angel cards and started talking about my "spirit angel" and cosmic healing and I noped out of there.
Big red flag.
No Help At All[rebelmouse-image 18346839 is_animated_gif=
If they don't help you make any progress and stare at a wall while you talk. My previous psychologist let me vent but wouldn't diagnose me with anything or help me achieve a goal. My current one is already at it at a third session.
The Human In Front Of You[rebelmouse-image 18346840 is_animated_gif=
When your therapist doesn't listen to you. It sounds obvious, but it's taken me most of my life to find a therapist who genuinely listens to me and my feelings. A good therapist will listen to your input and thoughts about your treatment. A bad therapist insists you do things their way. Example:
Me: I've been struggling with my self-esteem lately.
Therapist: Get a journal and write three positive things about yourself every day.
Me: I've tried that before and I've had no success. If anything, it makes things worse because I can't think of anything to write.
Therapist: Just try it anyway. You probably weren't doing it long enough.
Me: I spent a month trying last time.
Therapist: I want you to try again. Let me know how it goes next week!
I didn't see her again after that.
A Far Cry[rebelmouse-image 18346841 is_animated_gif=
When you tell them that you think you ended up gay partly because your mother was too free with her body and functions...and the therapist proceeds to inform you that Ted Bundy told investigators he ended up a serial killer because his mother walked around in her bra and underwear. Great, now not only do I have crippling anxiety and depression- but I'm absolutely terrified that I'm somehow a serial killer.
Get Out Of There Now[rebelmouse-image 18344934 is_animated_gif=
They tell you your sexuality is the result of trauma and recommend "further therapy" to make you heterosexual again. Me being attracted to more than one gender does not mean I'm broken, thanks. Saw him once and never went back.
Religion Versus Cognition[rebelmouse-image 18346842 is_animated_gif=
When all they try to help you is by trying to get you into religion. She even knew that I had issues because of all that went down in church.
My best therapist was the one who I opened up about what happened to me and did not bring up religion again. In fact, she put away some of her religious items on her desk to put me more at ease.
Diversity[rebelmouse-image 18346844 is_animated_gif=
If they don't counsel certain demographics its a bit worrying.
RED FLAG.[rebelmouse-image 18346845 is_animated_gif=
I had a therapist go on a tangent about how women have become too eager to behave as victims due to the #MeToo movement. Uh. Haven't gone back. This was in the context of a discussion about emotional abuse, specifically.
Dismissal[rebelmouse-image 18346846 is_animated_gif=
They ever dismiss you're feelings or what you've been through, they ignore you're concerns, or they think they knows what's best without listening to you. I've been through my fair share of s**** therapist, and been through all of that above. I've had a therapist ignore my constant state of being bullied in high school, and when I wanted to do online school to escape it, said that I could survive the bullying. And I've had a therapist try to tell me what to do, what psychiatrist to see, what would work best for me, all on the the first appointment with her.
Therapy is a relationship, a two way street. You both must work together for your improvement. If you are in a bad situation with your therapist, you will find that therapy isn't going to work. Most of the time when people tell me that therapy doesn't work for them, it's usually only because they had a bad therapist.
People Explain Which Canceled TV Shows They Think Deserved Another Season
Whether we're huge television watchers or not, most of us have at least one television show that we've really enjoyed.
And all too often, the show ends long before we're ready for that final episode, and we dream of a reunion episode or encore season.
Redditor Putrid_Cry19 asked:
"Which canceled TV show deserved another season?"
Anne with an E
"Anne with an E."
"Three seasons, and just when Gilbert and Anne realize their feelings, it gets canceled. Excuse me, what?!"
"Especially when you have so much source material to work with. Heck, the old adaptation went along with an older Anne and followed her life."
The Black Donnellys
"The Black Donnellys."
"Did they even get a complete first season? That show was canceled 15 years ago, and I’m still mad about it!! The cast was amazing and all of them fit perfectly in their roles. The story was intriguing. I can’t figure out why it ended so abruptly."
"I always scroll far enough down on these posts until I find 'The Black Donnellys.' F**king great show and I was glad they at least put the final episodes online. They were pulled from TV mid-season and I remember just being really bummed it wasn't on."
"'Lodge 49:' it was the dose of weirdness, reality-bending metaphysics, philosophy, blue-collar camaraderie, and kindness I needed weekly. Great cast, great cameos."
"I guess AMC needed the empty slot so they could have more 'Walking Dead' spinoffs or shows where people talk about the previous show they just aired."
The Last Kingdom
"'The Last Kingdom.' They had to rush through so much in Season 5 that it overwhelms you, although it still manages to give a great send-off to the series. F**king Netflix canceling great shows but keeps renewing 'Big Mouth,' lol (laughing out loud)."
"Highly recommend 'The Last Kingdom' if anyone hasn't watched it."
"'Sense8.' The writers convinced Netflix to do a special series ending episode but it didn't do the show justice. You could tell it was a rushed ending. One more season and it could have been much better paced."
"If I remember correctly, the reason it was canceled was that it was extremely expensive to make."
"I was hoping I'd see someone else say 'SGU.' I really did enjoy it, different from SG1 and SGA, but I was enjoying it. Really want to know what happened to Eli after everyone else went to sleep for a bit. Like come on, it's like Schrodinger's cat! I need to know."
"They literally left this show with the ability to pick it up again."
"S4 episode 1: Eli wakes everyone up from their Cyro sleep. Due to whatever mechanical failure or attack, these pods didn’t work and these characters have been killed off, some of them aged."
"Stargate opens up and new characters board the Destiny."
"And someone brings Eli a clean shirt. But just one."
"I agree. And it doesn't matter which version you're talking about, the answer is yes, that version deserved another season."
"The Punisher, with Jon Bernthal."
"Absolutely hands down! He was crazy good in it."
"'Carnivale.' I loved the world that was built in that show."
"This is one that gets me. Thanks for nothing, Management."
"This was the show I came looking for. I think the show creator had three more seasons lined up."
"I said the same!! I love that show."
"I came here to say this. That show was hilarious. As a Sunny fan, it was great to see Kaitlin Olson take even more of a lead role, and really helped me appreciate what she brought to the show. I was so bummed it got canceled."
"I remember when everyone thought it wouldn't get canceled just because 'Dark' was allowed to be fully completed."
"'1899' had so much potential, especially after the ending scene of the Season One finale. Such a shame."
Santa Clarita Diet
"I'm still salty about 'Santa Clarita Diet' being canceled. I need to see what's next for Joel!"
"Netflix: You should watch Santa Clarita Diet. You really should. You really, really should. Here are 15 gajillion recommendations!"
"Me: Okay, fine! ...Hey, this is really good. When's the next season coming out?"
"Netflix: Oh, we canceled that."
"I love how well Timothy Olyphant portrays a man who's on the edge of a complete breakdown whilst Drew Barrymore is living her best life. Such a great show."
"One of my all-time favorite shows. I will never forgive Netflix for robbing us of seeing what happens to zombie Joel."
"Timothy Olyphant and Drew Barrymore's chemistry was so on point. This show made me realize what kind of a relationship I want with my spouse, lol (laughing out loud). They were the best 'relationship goals' I've ever seen on TV!"
"This is my answer for every single AskReddit post that asks about canceled TV shows. I will never freaking forgive Netflix for canceling 'Santa Clarita.'"
My Name Is Earl
"'My Name is Earl.'"
"Greg Garcia did an AMA where he shared how he envisioned the ending:"
"'I had always had an ending to 'Earl,' and I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to see it happen. You’ve got a show about a guy with a list, so not seeing him finish it is a bummer. But the truth is, he wasn’t ever going to finish the list.'"
"'The basic idea of the ending was that while he was stuck on a really hard list item, he was going to start to get frustrated that he was never going to finish it. Then he runs into someone who had a list of their own, and Earl was on it. They needed to make up for something bad they had done to Earl. He asks them where they got the idea of making a list, and they tell him that someone came to them with a list and that person got the idea from someone else...'"
"'Earl eventually realizes that his list started a chain reaction of people with lists and that he’s finally put more good into the world than bad. So at that point, he was going to tear up his list and go live his life. Walk into the sunset a free man. With good karma.'"
"Oh wow, that's such a good wrap-up for the show that even just reading it feels like some solid closure. Wish it had gotten made, but it's the perfect capstone for the series."
The Last Man on Earth
"'The Last Man on Earth.'"
"I f**king loved this show. I get that the style of humor and awkwardness wasn’t for everyone, but godd**n, this show made me laugh more than most shows do."
"I need closure closure closure."
The Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency
"Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency."
"A lot of people didn't like the 2nd season, which is completely fair. It's hard to live up to the expectations of such a solid first season."
"The reason I personally would like a 3rd season is that the cliffhanger is so. d**n. tasty. Also, I want more Rowdy 3 (6?), Alan Tudyk, and Tyler Labine."
"I recognize that it deviates completely from the source material, and I understand why a lot of people are upset by that. There are a lot of examples where I hated the adaptation (looking at you, 'World War Z'), but I personally believe this is a perfect example of how you take inspiration and run with it."
"A dark, gritty version where Dirk was the fat slob the books described him as might also be fantastic, and I'd probably watch the shit out of it."
"However, I think this adaptation captures the whimsical nonsense of Douglas Adam's writing perfectly, and I'm ok with it. It's just a shame that the show was attached to such a scumbag. Otherwise, we might have seen that third season that gave us all the answers they teased."
"That show is still my absolute favorite."
"With absolute bangers like:"
"'The Rowdy Three!'"
"'But there are four of them!'"
"'I'm WILDLY aware.'"
"They captured Douglas Adams's whimsical nonsense so perfectly in that show."
"I feel like the second series went completely off the rails, but I still loved it."
"This was so gloriously, bizarrely brilliant. It was completely different from the (excellent) books, but it took on some of the core ideas and added a bunch of its own, then ran with them in multiple directions all at once."
"It was a joy to watch and made me feel an almost childlike wonder. It surprised and delighted me; a modern-day fairy-tale for grown-ups. Gutted me when it was canceled."
"This may seem a bit childish, but Teen Titans. The original one from 2003."
"It’s a bummer because every character got one season where they were the focus of the ongoing plot. Season One was Robin, Season Two was Terra, Season Three was Cyborg, Season Four was Raven, and Season Five was Beast Boy."
"It was set up perfectly to have a sixth season focused on Starfire and we never got it."
"I rewatched the whole series fairly recently. It really was such a unique show for the time. I remember seeing reruns on Boomerang after the series had finished airing on CN. It's unfortunate that they no longer air anything from the original series or movie."
"Season Five absolutely ended in a way that demanded something more, and the movie did not scratch that itch."
This is a great reminder of how entertainment can bring people together, first as a fandom and later for the nostalgia.
And there are quality selections here that absolutely should have gotten more time, and deserve a watch from those who haven't seen these shows before.
There are some professions out there that always leave us wondering how they found their way into that job.
While there are some jobs that not everyone would see for themselves, like dentistry, there are still a fair number of kids who claim they want to be dentists on Career Day.
But something like gynecology mysteriously never seems to come up...
Redditor dialgapalkiagiratina asked:
"Male Gynecologists of Reddit, why did you pursue your job?"
"Male OB/GYN in my 30s from Europe here. Several reasons, but maybe the most important and formative experience for me was when after med school I was living in the Horn of Africa for a couple of years."
"I witnessed some soul-crushing things, like obstetric fistulae, young women with advanced cervical cancer that could have been prevented easily, and complicated and traumatic deliveries."
"To put it mildly, women's health leaves much to be desired in a global context."
"I also met there some extremely inspiring and charismatic people, like Edna Adan Ismail and Catherine Hamlin. In general, I'm usually not very easily captivated by people, but these women were just something else with their endless kindness, charisma, and altruism. If on my deathbed I could say that I spent my life trying to do want they did, I could die peacefully."
"So when I, as a young doctor, had the opportunity to get training in the most important medical specialty of all and do my small part in making the world a kinder place for women, I mean, who really would need to think twice?"
Variety of Tasks
"I get to do a nice mixture of office, surgery, and labor and delivery, which is its own unique thing. I like the busyness and the high intensity. And I like being a part of one of the biggest days of people's lives."
"The hours could be better though; babies have no respect for other people's schedule."
"I originally didn’t know what I wanted to do when I entered medical school, and if you had asked me then, OBGYN was at the bottom of the list based off of everything negative I had heard."
"During my third-year rotation, I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed it. You get to do a little of everything: medicine, surgery, primary care, office procedures and obviously delivering babies which were awesome. On top of that, I lost my Mother during medical school, who was my biggest role model."
"Being able to be there in the room with new moms during their happiest moments just kinda made it all click for me. Don’t regret my decision at all."
"This is what most of my colleagues in the field say. It's the variety and the mix of primary care and pretty awesome procedures. Tends to be more happy medicine."
The Realities of the Field
"I'm a male gynecologist of six years. Albright working in a hospital outside the US. During our education, we do rotations in every field and gynecology was one of the most diversified fields."
"I'll do deliveries, small operations (D&C), or laparoscopic surgery as well as bigger stuff. Here we even do breast surgery and administer adjuvant chemotherapy ourselves. So I get to do all the fun stuff and it never gets boring."
"Sorry to everyone thinking I'm looking at vulvas 24/7. Most of what I do is talking, to be honest."
Improved Women's Healthcare
"Male OB/GYN here. Lots of reasons! I am genuinely excited every time I get to be part of bringing a child into the world."
"As a dad to daughters, I feel responsible for making the world a safer place for women to seek healthcare. Women’s health is full of mystery, which isn’t the case in more studied clinical areas."
"Some reasons for this include Women’s health only getting about 1% of biopharma research funding, women being excluded from clinical trials until 1993 (thank you thalidomide scandal), and research animal models almost exclusively being male until 2016."
"There are common woman’s health problems, like endometriosis (10% of women), which we simply do not yet understand. As an academic, I love the research component of my job. The list goes on and on. In short, I think it’s the most rewarding area of medicine and wouldn’t do anything else."
Fascinated by the Research
"I just finished my Ph.D. and am doing female aging and fertility research at an IVF clinic. It’s wild how much difference in sex has been ignored in tons of research."
"It’s definitely changing, especially with respect to female aging since the ovaries age faster than anything else, and that aging affects a woman’s overall health."
"I got into the field by accident, took a random job in a lab out of college and it ended up being an ovary lab. I wound up loving it and stuck with it for grad school, and here I am starting a career in the field."
"As important as the work is for women’s health and fertility overall, female reproduction is incredibly interesting. I’m biased towards repro in general obviously, but sperm is boring, in my opinion. There’s tons of sperm and you’re always making more."
"But eggs are formed in the embryo and arrested in the cell cycle for decades before being fertilized and making a whole new person. They’re absolutely wild cells. It makes you appreciate how exact our molecular biology is."
"It felt like an extremely well-rounded profession. You get to do inpatient and outpatient. You get to do office procedures, laparoscopic surgery, robotic surgery, vaginal surgery, and open surgery. You get to do hands-on ultrasound and not just read it. You get to deliver babies!"
"If you’re doing Gyn Oncology, many will do the chemo and the surgery and not just the surgery like Surg Oncology. If you do MFM, you get to do ultrasound-guided procedures such as fetal blood transfusions and such."
"I feel like this thread wants to focus on the discrepancy between physician and patient sex/gender. We are physicians who take care of patients regardless of their demographics/characteristics, and the profession itself can have high acuity, high points, and low points, you are caring for vulnerable populations, and it is rewarding."
"The other question we always get is, 'Don’t female patients prefer a female physician?' Many do! And that is great! I want patients to see whomever they feel comfortable seeing."
"I ultimately find that for 99% of patients, they want someone who is going to take care of them as a compassionate and empathetic physician, and this transcends what the race/sex/gender/etc of their physician is!"
"I played football in college. Offensive line. Burly, bearded, white dude. Everyone had me shoehorned for orthopedic surgery or sports medicine. I hated them both."
"Loved being in the operating room, so I knew I had to do a surgical specialty. General surgery rotation was very… ahem…abrasive where I went to school. I had ruled out the other specialties for one reason or another and was left with Urology or gynecology. Urology was too competitive for me, so OB/GYN it was!"
"I also had a very, very good friend four years ahead of me, so she was just about to finish residency when I started. She mentored me and actually took a position as an attending where I matched for residency. I absolutely LOVE what I do! I have a truly amazing team right now between my scribe, my nurse, the surgery techs, and the LDR girls. It’s a great job!"
Treating the Whole Person
"I think it's one of the most generalist areas of medicine still around."
"You dual-specialize (at least where I practice), so you get to do both Obstetrics and gynecology."
"With gynecology, you deal with both medical and surgical issues, things that may have been dismissed for ages by other doctors where you can make a difference, or things where people are truly worried they are not normal when they actually are."
"You deal with sexual health, cancer, chronic pain, and fertility issues, to name a few. A lot of treatments can be medically based, but surgery is occasionally used. Communication is key here, and teaching the patient about the condition is paramount to helping them deal with it."
"I enjoyed palliative medicine as a young doctor, and early pregnancy issues like miscarriage allow me to look after a family unit in a similar way, as does later losses from an obstetric point of view."
"Surgically you can do open surgery, laparoscopic, vaginal, plastics (Urogynecology and general), robotic, etc. Your work can be elective or emergent, and ruptured ectopics/hemorrhaging miscarriages can be the most urgent of urgent, allowing you to save someone's life very quickly."
"With obstetrics, you can deal with any medical issue (with help mind from other specialties) as your population of patients can have pretty much any medical disorders. You get to watch a patient move through their pregnancy, and can even support and deliver them if it is needed."
"The emergency component in Obstetrics is broad and frequent and these are usually easy to deal with. However, the skill comes in communication in these fraught scenarios, which came make or break a patient's experience."
"Overall you deal with young, old, normal, abnormal, cancer, STIs, life, death, grief, happiness, fear, and support."
"A vagina is only part of it, there's a uterus, ovaries, hormones, and a complete, whole person that I treat."
"To people outside of medicine, this is a common question. And it’s usually included with something along the lines of, 'How can you effectively care for women with women-specific issues if you haven't experienced those yourself?'"
"Seems like a very reasonable question."
"But it’s helpful to remember that most oncologists haven’t gone through cancer treatment. But they’re still well-equipped to guide someone through cancer care. Sure, the patient might benefit from talking with someone that has been through it, but that’s a good role for group therapy or a support class. Doesn’t have to be a role that’s filled by the doctor."
"Most surgeons who fix heart valves, take out gallbladders, remove tumors, etc. have never had heart problems, gall bladder problems, or a tumor. It’s not necessary to have personally experienced those things in order to be excellent at taking care of those things."
"Where we run into trouble is when men dictate the care of women. But doctors shouldn’t be dictating anyone’s care in this day and age. Patients should be provided with the resources to make their own decisions."
"For women seeking care from an OB/GYN, the best equipped OB/GYN is the one that can listen, make a logical plan, advise their patient of their options, and respect their wishes. That OB/GYN could be a man or a woman and be equally good at those things."
"Male OB/GYN here, with a post on fetal medicine, sexology, and a fellowship in fertility/reproduction."
"As others have already said, OB/GYN is an extremely diverse field with always a lot going on."
"There's major surgery to be done, then you're off in an office talking about anything, then on an ultrasound machine performing morphology checks, and then a phone rings and you're over there helping bring someone to the world."
"It's all very engaging, emotional, and rewarding."
"But for me the core of it comes directly from its literal meaning, Obstetrics derives from the Latin 'obstare,' which means, 'to be by the side.'"
"It's also an emotional rollercoaster, I get super elated from a birth, and have and will continue to cry with my patients during a miscarriage."
"But, have you ever seen the gaze of a mother to her newborn son for the first time?"
"Have you experienced the pain that comes with the loss of someone who's never ever been born?"
"I get to see the joy of a cancer-free patient, I hear the sweetest sound of a baby's first cry. I even made a blind lady 'see' it's baby during an ultrasound exam once."
"I get to work with amazing and caring people like Kipros Nicolaides and Yves Ville."
"I do good for the people around me. It makes me feel proud and accomplished in every way. What else is there to say?"
"I'm a male MD working right now at a family practice here in Sweden, but considered OB/Gyn seriously for a while and worked at a women's clinic for a short time."
"Medically, it's the perfect sweet spot for a person who wants to do it all. You get emergencies and save lives on a daily basis, you get really cool surgery ranging from real emergency life-threatening operations to long cancer operations. You are almost an endocrinologist, a geriatrician, a pediatrician, and a therapist all at once. You get to meet life and death literarily all the time."
"I have seen and assisted a fair amount of deliveries and seen the joy and pain in the parents' eyes. I have held an older patient's hand while consulting and telling them that the cancer is inoperable and that there isn't anything more we can do. It's just a wonderful specialty overall."
Would Do It For Free
"Gynae Oncologist for 20 years. Great job that has always had lots of variety and evolved over time. Started with a focus on obstetrics, delivering babies, and experiencing the adrenaline and privilege of being there for that big moment with people."
"Slowly evolved towards gynae and cancer, learning high-end surgery, using a cool kit, dealing with highly challenging scenarios, and constantly learning and developing. This coincided with moving away from the exhausting after-hours work."
"Love my job and if I was independently financially comfortable, I would still do it for free."
An Alternate Perspective
"I’m a female ID scientist (obviously not the subject of interest here). However, I’ve had a history of poor OB/GYN experiences in my past; a ruthless doctor who snipped my malformed hymen without numbing at 13, ones who completely disregarded my concerns, getting kicked out of the office immediately after IUD."
"All of them were women. Now this isn’t to crap on female OB/GYNs, since some are amazing, just not the ones I’ve found in my area."
"However, I was at the end of my rope and desperately needed someone to help me with what ended up being a ureaplasma infection and finally bit the bullet and saw a male OBGYN who was well-reviewed. He spent 30 minutes listening and getting to know my information. When he needed to examine me, he brought in a female colleague to hold my hand and made sure to give me ample warning before touching or examining."
"Needless to say, I realized that sometimes, people who have no idea what another is going through are the most empathetic."
"Moral of the story, I think sometimes female OBGYNs get into the mindset of 'if I can deal with it, so can you,' therefore it can be better to see male doctors who have no experience and won’t compare themselves to you."
While there are a lot of stereotypes about what actually goes on during a gynecologist's work day and "what type of guy" would choose this profession, these accounts were really eye-opening and, honestly, heartwarming.
People Reveal The Wildest Ways They Ever Found Out Someone Was Cheating On Them
Discovering that your significant other has been unfaithful is never taken lightly.
The only saving grace is when the cheater comes clean and admits their deceit, and it allows for a discussion on whether or not the relationship can move forward.
It's unforgivable if your partner never intended to come clean, and you find out on your own what's really been going on, especially when you've been played the fool the entire time.
Curious to hear from strangers who've been cheated on, Redditor Recent-Gap-9927 asked:
"What was the wildest way you found out you were being cheated on?"
These Redditors didn't see it coming.
Sexual Recap For Unintended Recipient
"She didn’t realise that her iPhone messages were also synchronised to her Mac, which I was using to stream movies on."
"I saw text popping up with her writing to her ex... I just packed up my sh*t and left"– Ok_Insurance_3011
"My ENTIRE friend group knew about it, and I only found out after the one real homie blackmailed her into admitting it."
"And when she did, it was the most insincere sh*t ever. 'It's no big deal, everyone else thinks it's ok!' and stuff like that. Suffice to say, I got my a** outta that relationship AND friendship group real quick."– Samurai294
"He was drunk at his 21st and while joking around with his friends he started listing off all the women he’d slept with in the last year."
"I was standing right there and we’d been dating for two years at that point."– Fraerie
Let's Check Our Phones
"She demanded to read all the messages on my phone, I said no problem but only if I could read the messages on hers."
"She had forgotten to delete a message from a guy saying 'All we ever do is f'k, can't we hang out some time?'"
"There was nothing on my phone."
"My 9 year old son told me that there were strange men in the house when I was away working. She'd been at it for years."
"It's horrible to deal with at the time, but honestly, it's such a relief to be rid of such a toxic mess."– beerdybeer
Hearing about your partner cheating is one thing.
Witnessing it in action is another.
"Date night cancelled day-of. I decided to make it a guys night to see the new marvel movie at the time. As we entered, I saw her sitting it the theatre snuggling up with a guy. Our seats were a few rows back, saw them kiss a couple times. When we all left at the end of the movie they were exiting their aisle as we walked down the stairs. She absolutely froze when she saw me. Blocked her on everything while I’m the in parking lot"– RiddledWithEnigma
The Facebook Post
"I was visiting a dying relative in hospital so could not attend some stupid college party he and his roommate organised. I told him I couldn't go and asked him if he could come over later (after visiting hours in the hospital) because I knew my relative would die soon and I really just needed someone to be there with me. He said he probably wouldn't be able to, as he needed to help his roommate with party preparations, but would come over later if they finish early... Next day I saw pictures of him with his ex in his lap, kissing, uploaded the previous night by his roommate. The roommate even knew we were dating, he was just too drunk to realise he added me as a friend a week earlier on Facebook and I would see the pictures."
Sometimes, a bit of sarcasm helps when recalling an unpleasant memory.
"Her other boyfriend (who I didn’t know existed) and I had a mutual friend who put two and two together and told me. I said I wanted to meet him so he called him over. We talked out some things and then called her together at my suggestion. Good times were had by all -1"– Jonaldson
Return To Sender
He apparently wrote an address wrong and the love letter he wrote was returned to our home."
"It was a great way to come back from vacation."
Beware of where you store your "tasteful nudes."
Open Google Drive
"One of her friends was a photographer and wanted to do 'tasteful nudes' which apparently includes penetration! And multiple days of getting the right shot..."
"We had a shared Google drive, which her friend didn't know we shared."– PumaRevived
Private Photo Session
"Your story reminded me of a past ex."
"Her (female) friend was a photographer and she had a very intimate photo session with her. Not nude, but pretty damn close."
"She had told me about this before hand and I wasn’t really for it. The style of the shoot, was not really my taste (they were trashy imo), but I wasn’t going to stop her."
"She got very upset when I questioned what they were for if they weren’t for her current lover. Turns out they were for her ex who she was seeing on and off for our entire relationship."– pooponacandle
Some people think they're entitled to have their cake and eat it too.
However, if these individuals have an arrangement like an open relationship–where it's mutually beneficial and agreed upon by both participants–good on them for having a healthy and communicative relationship.
But if sneaky individuals engage in clandestine sexual relations, they need to reevaluate their romantic situations.It's not fair for the other person involved who is faithful and trusting.
These days, rather than listening to music to calm their spirits or find a moment of peace, many people instead listen to podcasts.
Namely because, even if it was true crime podcasts like "Serial" which really got podcasts on the map, there is a podcast for just about everyone, on just about every subject.
Even if not all of them are quite as prolific as others, as just about anyone can make a podcast, even if they're not entirely qualified to do so.
There are some podcasts, however, which have such devoted fanbases, that they would encourage just about anyone to listen to them, whether or not it's on a subject which interests them.
"What’s a podcast actually worth listening to?"
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears!"
"'History of Rome'."
"After the first few episodes where sound produciton isnt, great, its just like 200 epsidoes of incredible story of the rise and fall of the entire Roman empire."
"The dude knows his sh*t."
"Actively will call out his own mistakes during the following episodes when he is wrong (which isn't often)."
"He tells it in way better than any textbook."
"He almost never goes off the rails and talks about irrelevant material."
"And when he does, it's about baseball for like 4 seconds."
"He enjoys the topic and you can tell."- saturnsnephew
"'Well There's Your Problem: A podcast about engineering disasters'."
"I listen to one or two comedy podcasts but none of them make me laugh as hard or as proud sons of Philly and a posh British woman discussing engineering and societal disasters."- CaptValentineEngineering Rotate GIF by AirspeederGiphy
Laughing While Learning
"'No Such Thing as a Fish'."
"Funny while being somewhat educational."- _performer
When You Can't Make Book Club...
"This is kind of new - but check out 'If Books Could Kill'.”
"Two guys discuss and analyze bestselling nonfiction books that could use a good dissection- like 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and 'The Secret'.”
"Well researched and super funny and interesting."
"Love it."- SourKrautCupcake
Before You Click That Link...
"Darknet Diaries."- simiansamuraiinternet technology GIF by PsyklonGiphy
"'Old Gods of Appalachia' is a good radio drama."
"The way narrator speaks, you can feel the trees grow around you."- PotatoesMcLaughlin
Timely Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It...
"I am obsessed with 'This Podcast Will Kill You'."
"If you like the biology and history of diseases and illnesses, this is it!"
"The presenters are awesome!"- GibberishBanana2022
For History Buffs And Non Alike!
"Hardcore History."- ManNamedGray
"The History of Rome - Mike Duncan."
"The Rest is History."
"Hardcore History."- YallMindIfIJoinLearn Social Studies GIF by Awkward Daytime TVGiphy
Luckily To Be Heard, And Not Seen...
"99% Invisible."- andbosta
Before You Jump To Judgement
"'Behind the Bastards' is fantastic, but will question humanity."- azorianmilk
But Were "Right" To Listen
"I love 'You’re Wrong About'."- ResidentRepulsive·wrong chicken GIF by happydogGiphy
In Case You're Wondering How We Got Here...
"The Anthropocene Reviewed."- Ererr50
The Stories You Thought You Knew
"My all time favorite is 'The Film Reroll'."
"They take the basic premise of a film and play through the story as an RPG, allowing the choices of the players and roll of the dice to drastically change the story."
"Highlights have included starting a civil war in Oz, blowing up the moon in ET, and the GM tricking the players into thinking they were doing an obscure 80's teen sex comedy none of them had ever heard of only to spring Jason on them and reveal it was really Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter."
"Here are a couple clips for a taste:"
"The Cowardly Lion worries about what happened to Dorothy and Scarecrow when the party got split."
"Jafar fails a will roll and falls in love with Aladdin."
"They will sometimes do sequels to their previous re-rolls and those can get epic."
"Their version of the Halloween trilogy is my personal canonical version of that franchise to me."
"Danny Hodges is the greatest ascended NPC protagonist the movies never had."
"Currently they're doing Rogue Two."
"In their version of Rogue One, Andor, Jyn, and K2SO all survived so now their continued story is running parallel to A New Hope."
"I could go on and on about the running jokes, the great humor, the unexpectedly dramatic moments with real pathos, the wonderful personalities and absolutely world class acting and improv that goes into the show."
"I dearly love it and have listened to every episode at least twice, while some of my favorites have become go-to comfort listening and I've lost count of how many times I've re-listened to those."
"But I'll let ya'll discover all of that for yourselves."
"It's a true gem of a show."
"Some honorable mentions:"
"'Oh No! Ross and Carrie': They examine 'fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal' and 'show up so you don't have to'."
"They try alternative medicines on themselves, join cults, and investigate all kind of wild claims and report back their first hand experience."
"Yes, they have done Scientology."
"You might be surprised at how far into it they got before they were found out."
"'Monster Talk': a show that looks at Fortean phenomenon from a skeptical perspective."
"Never cynical or simply debunking, they engage with every topic like there could be some merit until they find that there isn't any."
"Good research and even worse puns."
"'In Research Of':"
"A sort of spin off form 'Monster Talk', they watch every episode of the classic Leonard Nimoy series In Search Of and "present some explanations that the producers chose not to present'."
"One of the co-hosts is an Archaeologist, and it can be a hoot to hear him go off on ancient alien and Graham Hancock type sh*t."
"'Another Path:' A D&D 5e Actual Play podcast."
"They had a pretty epic campaign that I'd recommend for fans of 'The Adventure Zone'."
"They recently started a new one with new characters that doesn't require listening to the old one, although the old one is well worth the time."
"Imprinted Echoes: A Numenera actual play podcast."
"Has some neat sci-fi concepts in it and I love the crew playing it."- charlesdexterwardZooey Deschanel Movie GIFGiphy
There is truly nothing more transporting than a good story.
Be it a variation of something familiar, or a deep dive into something you knew nothing about, a good storyteller will have you captured from the minute they uttered their first words.