Cars are great since they allow humans to be mobile across long distances.
However, cars are not great in the sense that they require constant maintenance and they can sustain damage in ways you didn't even think was possible.
At some point, everybody has brought in their car to a mechanic and said, "are you serious?" at the thing that needs to be fixed.
These are their stories.
A quora question asked:
What is your most "you've got to be kidding me" experience as a car mechanic?
Here were some of the answers.
Hustlin'
Giphy"This literally happened to me this week!"
"A little back story before we get to the juicy parts!"
"Last week I was running errands and I came back to the car which had unashamedly urinated itself in the car park."
"I took a quick peek under the car and established that it was my car that had some incontinence issues."
"Against all healthcare advice and warning labels, I dipped my finger in the puddle and tasted. It tasted sweet so I knew it was coolant."
"There was coolant still left in the expansion tank so I drove it home and let it sit for a few hours. I then checked the expansion tank for signs of oily residue as that would indicate it is a head gasket issue."
"Thankfully, there was none."
"I then pressure tested the system and it seemed to hold pressure so that led me to believe it was a leaky radiator."
"Normally I would do repairs myself but changing a radiator is a b*tch, so I elected to take it to a garage."
"My normal mechanic was away but there was someone there I presume filling in for him."
"I told him what the issue was and left it with him."
"Now the juicy part!
"He calls me back soon after to tell me I need the head gasket changing (much more expensive than a radiator change) and I assure him it does not."
"He insists."
"So I go down to the garage where he condescendingly explains there is oily residue in the expansion tank."
"I tell him I checked for that and it was not."
"He pops the bonnet and lo and behold there is oily residue in the tank but also oily residue all over the cap."
"I start the car and rev it high to check if there is any smoke with a whitish tint. Thankfully, there was none."
"I outright told him if he was going to try to con me; he should have at least washed his hands before touching the cap to add a little oil."
"Words can not describe how the colour drained from his face!"
"Never try to hustle a hustler!"
From The Other Side
"Thanks for the A2A. Since I was a mechanic for most of my life I am going to answer this from the other side."
"This happened many years ago when I was working as a commissioned technician at an independent tire shop. A customer asked for a brake inspection on his 1970 ish station wagon. We did free brake inspections so that meant all the time it took me to test drive, rack up the vehicle, inspect and estimate the job was unpaid. Normally this would take about 15 minutes so it was not a big deal but if the car needed a lot of work we could kill 30 to 60 minutes just coming up with an estimate to repair."
"When I climbed in I could tell the guy was living in the car. It was packed with clothes and everything the guy owned. As I pulled the car out of the parking space the brakes were grinding badly so a test drive was out of the question."
"When I pulled the car onto the rack I heard something fall. I got out and looked under the car and found a big puddle of gas. I thought maybe I had ripped out the fuel line so I racked the car and started my brake inspection by looking at the fuel line. This car had a metal fuel line that ran from the tank to the engine. It was so rusty and corroded that fuel was leaking out at several points along the line. So the customer had tied tin cans to the fuel line and would collect the fuel. I immediately went and talked to the customer. He was pissed that I had spilled his gas. What the hell? You're driving around in a fire trap and your mad at me? The poor guy was so down on his luck that he would collect the leaking fuel so he could pour it back into the tank. This whole situation was so dangerous that I was speechless. I had no idea what to say to the guy so I went back to finish inspecting the car."
"At this point I knew the guy would not be able to repair his vehicle. Just from the bad grinding noise I heard he was looking at at least several hundred dollars to repair the brakes. Then we still had to address the fuel leaks. I felt really bad for the guy. Everything I looked at was completely worn out. Front and rear brakes were metal on metal. None of the rotors or drums could be saved. Brake hoses were badly cracked. Wheel cylinders were leaking. The whole fuel line needed replacing. It all came to a couple thousand dollars just to make it safe."
"When I presented the estimate the guy got pretty mad. At first I thought he was mad at me but he was mad at himself for not being able to get out of the hole life had dealt him. I was pretty young at the time and had never really struggled in life. I had never been fired and could always find enough work to get by. I could always make rent and buy food. This was a side of life I had not really seen close up. It reminded me of when we studied the great depression in school. This guy wanted to work but couldn't find a job. Now his car was broken down so finding work just got harder."
"The customer wanted to drive the car but we told him it was too unsafe, he would have to tow it away. He told us he needed to sleep in it tonight but would have it towed the next day so we pushed it out into the parking lot. We knew he would just drive away as soon as we closed but felt so bad for the guy we did not call the police to report it. I hope he was finally able to get back on his feet. I never saw him again."
We Know It
"I had bought a brand new 2007 Silverado and it was a super nice truck. About a year after purchase, after a cold rainy day, the truck was almost dead! The only thing that happened when the ignition key was turned was that the theft alarm went off. Nothing else worked. No starter, lights, radio, nothing. Later on that day, the truck started and worked just as if nothing had happened. During the next year, it was towed 10 times to the shop after it rained and they had no idea what was wrong, because every time they had it, after a short while, it would suddenly start and be perfectly normal. This happened many times before my wife called the regional manager and complained about the inability of the Chevy to fix their own truck. One of the times that it had been dead at the shop, the mechanic said he had never seen anything like it because all of the 22 computers in the truck were unresponsive, until they all came on line and worked. After her call to the regional manager, we were quickly contacted by the dealer who told us to bring in the truck and they would give us a loaner vehicle until the truck was repaired."
"We dropped off the truck for the 13th time, and about three days later, I got a call to come in they had fixed the truck. They had changed out the ignition switch, the computer, and several other things, all at no charge under warrantee during the last year. I asked if they were sure and he said absolutely. The problem was found, and fixed."
"We went over to pick up the truck and asked what the problem was. He explained that while they were looking at the truck, they noticed that one of the lights in the fixture over the truck bed was out, so they were going to fix that. When they took the light fixture out, they noticed that there was some water inside the liner of the cab. They noticed that it had run down over on the drivers side, so they pulled out the liner and in the space between the cab shell and the liner was the little receiver module that monitored the rear tire pressure from the tires. When the mechanic touched it, it was HOT! He immediately realized that the water was shorting it out. They replaced the module and the light fixture and that fixed the issue."
"The "You've got to be kidding me" moment came when he explained to me that the basic problem came because the gasket around the light fixture on the back of the cab over the trunk bed had shrunk and allowed water in. All the problems in the whole truck came from a leaking gasket! He said that when the water entered the module, it shorted out the computer system and the truck went dead. When enough water had leaked out of the module, the module quit shorting the computer system and the truck was back to normal."
"PS. I kept an eye on that new gasket and about a year later noticed it had shrunk, so I got some black silicone and potted the fixture and have never had another bit of trouble with it."
Two Thousand Over
"I took my truck to a mechanic shop because when I stepped on the clutch it made a grinding noise. I thought it would be a throw out bearing but I had no time to take it apart because I was working out of town. A week later when I came to pick up my truck the shop told me it was still making noise but it was a different noise. It wasn't any different. I left the truck there another week. After two weeks I came back to pick up the truck, They told me they had changed clutch and pressure plate, throw out bearing, clutch pivot and clutch arm but it was still making the same noise. They kept it another week."
"When I came back the third week to pick up my truck a mechanic that worked there told me that a lock washer had came lose from the starter and lodged between the clutch and pressure plate, when they removed the lock washer it stopped making noise. I told him that the shop told me they replaced the clutch and pressure plate the first week, how could the new clutch and pressure plate have a noise if it were replaced? He just rolled his eyes."
"When I went to the counter my bill was 2400.00. I told the supervisor about the lock washer story and that I wanted my old parts as is state law. He told me the old parts were thrown out and would not release my truck back to me. I called the Better Business Bureau and they told me I only had to pay for the parts that were returned to me and if I had to rent a vehicle to commute to work I could sue the mechanic shop. They also called the shop to get the other side of the story and called me back to say the shop would release my truck and negotiate a new bill. The bill I agreed to was 300.00. As I left the supervisor said" Don't ever bring your vehicles back" It also sold tires and there was a crowd in the display area. I replied" You lied to me, to charged me for work you did not do, your not the only shop in town and your not any good, I would never come back. If I didn't call the Better Business Bureau, you would have stolen more from me"
"The shop closed two months later."
Ain't Too Proud
"I grew up in a garage and seen many things through the years, but the best "you've got to be kidding me" moment came when I worked as an admissions coordinator at a skilled nursing facility. An elderly man came into my office asking for a coat hanger because he had locked his keys in his car. I was busy, so I couldn't help him but I did give him a hanger to attempt to unlock his doors of his station wagon."
"The man was parked right in front of my office window so I watched the old guy struggle for a good 45 minutes trying to unlock his door with that hanger. I felt sorry for the man and guilty I Hadn't gone to help him. I went outside and offered to try. It's not the first door I've ever had to unlock for somebody."
"i wiggled the wire, twisting and turning, trying to get the tip around the door handle, but I couldn't quite get it. If the wire was bent slightly different, I could make it work. I had pliers in my truck about six parking spaces away. I told the man that I could grab my pliers to reshape the bend and I would have him unlocked in just a few minutes. He announced "I've got pliers". He went to the back door, opened it, picked up his pliers off the back seat, closed the door and handed me the tool."
"??????? "You've got to be kidding me!" I thought it but didn't say it. I opened his back door, reached up and lifted the lock, closed the back door then opened his driver's door. I handed him back his pliers and he said "thank you". I stood back, watched him get in and drive away….wow!"
"ive got a couple more that I will share in another post that are truly worthy mechanic moments."
Alignment
"I was busy at work and had no time to work on the wife's car. So I took it to the local dealer for a brake job and to tighten the steering wheel. It had tilt and telescoping features and the bolts had come loose. Takes two special tools to fix that I did not have and I was working 60 hours a week plus. The dealer tells me they must do a frontend alignment anytime they repair any steering part. Steering wheel being a steering part. It had been a while and just had new tires put on, so what the hell. do it. It took them 10 days to do the work. I went to get it and it had brake fluid dripping off the wheels and fender. And the tires squealed as I turned onto the pavement. I turned around and went back. The service manage told me I must have hit something and knocked it out of alignment."
"Oh and it pulled hard to one side when I hit the brakes. They wanted to charge me again to "fix" it. They tried to baffle me with "front end jargon". Stopped when I corrected them on what toe in, camber, and caster were. I explained for two years I did their frontend alignments at a different shop. Seems their GM Certified guys could not pull off an alignment then. I took it to another shop, they had almost a 1/2 inch of toe in on a Camaro. They did not have a vacuum brake bleeder, so just let the fluid drool on the rotors and wheels, which them blew down the lower fenders. A short piece of hose and a beer can would have prevented that. I would have loaned them my bleeder if I would have known. Problem with the brakes was one side had OEM pads, the other had high performance pads. Both sides being soaked in fluid did not help. I cleaned everything up, replaced the pads, took it to another shop for an alignment, had them print out before and after specs. Went back to dealer and demanded I get at least my cost of the alignment back and offered to train their mechanics. I got their check for alignment. Oh, and they cracked the steering column when they "fixed" it."
Reeeeed Roccoooooo
"I was a broke, starving college student in 1992, driving a red 1985 VW Scirocco with 200,000+ miles on it that I'd picked up for $2k. It ran well for me and got me through college and then some, although I never could seem to get the backup lights to work (VW electrical gremlins). One time the tailpipe broke off the muffler so I stopped in at a Midas to see if they could weld on a new tailpipe. They threw "Red Rocco" up on the lift, took a quick look, came and informed me the muffler was completely rusted through and couldn't be repaired. I asked to see it but could not see any rust or holes from my view below. The mechanic and two other shop guys proceeded to reach up on top of the muffler, feeling around, saying, oh yeah it's all rusted through up here. Ok, how much? They go look it up, run the numbers and come back with, "$400, and we can do it right now!" I say, I don't have that kind of money right now, I'll just have to drive it as-is. They offered a special discount, right now only, $50 off, and they said I could post date a check, to help me out."
"I again declined and asked for my car. On the way home, I happened to see a small, independent muffler shop and wondered what they might charge to replace my "completely rusted through" muffler. The guy says, let me take a look at it and comes back in and informs me the muffler is fine, and that he can weld a tailpipe on for $10 in about 5–10 minutes, if I can wait."
Oil Change
Giphy"Back in the 80's I had a lady come in complaining her car wouldn't go over 30 mph. After making all the obvious checks, scope the cap rotor, wires etc.. I checked the condition and level of the transmission fluid. All was normal. I turned the engine off waited a couple of minutes and checked the oil."
"To my shock and surprise, the oil level was within 2″ of the dipstick handle, and like new condition. I called her back out to show her what I had found. Her explanation was that being a used car it would leak or burn oil and she would need to add oil between changes."
"Long story short, she had added a qt. a day for 7 or 8 days. She had never figured out how to check the oil so she followed someones directions."
"I remedied the situation by draining like 13 or 14 qts and doing a complete oil change service. Car had no visible leakage like front or rear main seal like a lot of cars did and wasn't burning oil either. I grabbed her and we test drove the car and the 350 cid Chevy was back to normal with plenty of power and speed."
"She was so happy, she gave me a $25.00 tip, a lot of money for that time."
"The 2nd weird situation was when a rather large woman came in with a brand new Monte Carlo SS for it's 1st ever oil change. When I got in to drive the car into the garage,I hit the gas pedal and I went straight almost into the back seat. She had actually broken the mounting bolts for the drivers seat, What a laugh we had after work having a beer…."
Shoutout Queen
"Many years ago I had taken my Toyota Corolla in to a chain place for an oil change. We lived in apartments and had no place to DIY. Anyway, I left it there while I went to work with the wife. At the end of the day they called and said there had been an "issue" but that had taken care of it for me at no charge."
"My heart sank. All I could imagine was my car falling off the lift or something catastrophic. The manager met with me and showed me my car. He said they had noticed a lot of wear to me tires which they felt was unusual as I had bought them at that store only a few months prior. They did some investigating and found that the tire guy who had installed them (he had since been fired) had dropped the head alignment machine without reporting it and my new tires had been misaligned causing unusual wear. Thus, they went ahead and replaced the two fronts with new tires and realigned all four at no cost."
"Shout out to a fine crew at that shop. I am sure they are long gone by now. That was about 20 years ago."
Back In Alignment
"When I went to pick my truck up from an alignment shop and they hadn't replaced my steering components that were dangerously worn out. The feller doing the work supposedly had 10 years experience in this field. Yet he claimed that the stubborn parts had been on there " Too long to be replaced." I had to have this done, as it was on my source of living. I walked back to my welding truck and unspooled the torch lead and cut the bad parts out of his way, cleaned up the threads where every new component would be installed, and helped him fit everything up. Then he aligned it. I walked back up to the service manager payout and they quietly rang me up for the original bill. I looked him in the eye saying nothing until he looked away and wrote the check."
Wear And Ne'er
Giphy"When my Toyota Camry reached 60K miles, I promptly got the timing belt replaced at a dealer in Atlanta."
"Less than 5,000 miles later, while driving to Orlando (about 500miles away) I noticed that the car would vibrate when pressing on gas and would immediately stop when gas pedal was not pressed."
"Upon reaching Orlando, I took it to a local Toyota dealer for investigation and was told that the axel needs to be changed. The service advisor also said that the timing belt and water pump are showing signs of wear and should be replaced."
"That was my "are you kidding me moment"
"Continued showing my ignorance on cars, I asked him to show me the wear and he took me to the car and tried to find a fresh oil spot, but failed. I knew enough that timing belt is not visible and is a big job to access the belt."
"I told him that I was a bit low on money and requested him to write his advice on the service report, which he kind of brushed off."
"Had he given me a report, I would have taken it to Toyota corporate."
Getting Away With Murder
"I've always been lucky in this respect. I'm 6th generation living in a small agriculture community in Northern California. If you don't run a honest and upstanding business, you will starve to death. So when I take my car ,truck or motorcycle in for service I know with out a doubt my mechanic is giving me the straight skinny ."
"But to answer your question, the first time I took my new Mazda 626 in for a tune up. The price tag was $350. Well like I said I don't question the mechanics honesty. I just thought maybe he'd made a mistake. But true to life that's what it cost you to do a tuneup on a modern car (1986). In the past I had always done the maintenance on all our family and farm vehicles. I don't think I ever spent over $35 on point, plugs, oil & filters. Nowadays I'd feel lucky to get off for $300!"
The Bolt Inside
"Many years ago I had a friend who was rebuilding an old 1950s motorbike. He came over to my house almost in tears, seems he had dropped a bolt into the engine. Now he had to strip the engine to get the offending bolt out. I asked if I could have a look and see if I had any ideas. Went back to his house and there sitting on the ground is the engine, Took a look, and down inside the engine is a bolt sitting on the cam follower. Next question, "is there any oil in the crankcase?". Was told there is no oil in the engine which is just as well as he would have to drain it out to strip the engine."
"I then gave him a long slow look, picked up the engine turned it upside down, gave it a gentle shake and the bolt fell out onto the ground. Turned the engine up the right way, put it down and slowly walked away without looking at him or saying a word, just shaking my head as I went. Anther acquaintance who was there told me later the look on my friends face was priceless."
That's one advantage to living in New York City. You don't need to worry about the costs and concerns of owning a car. Now subway horror stories, that's a whole different story.
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Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Well...
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?