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People Share Their Worst 'You're Kidding Me' Car Mechanic Stories

Cars are great since they allow humans to be mobile across long distances.

However, cars are not great in the sense that they require constant maintenance and they can sustain damage in ways you didn't even think was possible.

At some point, everybody has brought in their car to a mechanic and said, "are you serious?" at the thing that needs to be fixed.

These are their stories.


A quora question asked:

What is your most "you've got to be kidding me" experience as a car mechanic?

Here were some of the answers.

Hustlin'

Giphy

"This literally happened to me this week!"

"A little back story before we get to the juicy parts!"

"Last week I was running errands and I came back to the car which had unashamedly urinated itself in the car park."

"I took a quick peek under the car and established that it was my car that had some incontinence issues."

"Against all healthcare advice and warning labels, I dipped my finger in the puddle and tasted. It tasted sweet so I knew it was coolant."

"There was coolant still left in the expansion tank so I drove it home and let it sit for a few hours. I then checked the expansion tank for signs of oily residue as that would indicate it is a head gasket issue."

"Thankfully, there was none."

"I then pressure tested the system and it seemed to hold pressure so that led me to believe it was a leaky radiator."

"Normally I would do repairs myself but changing a radiator is a b*tch, so I elected to take it to a garage."

"My normal mechanic was away but there was someone there I presume filling in for him."

"I told him what the issue was and left it with him."

"Now the juicy part!

"He calls me back soon after to tell me I need the head gasket changing (much more expensive than a radiator change) and I assure him it does not."

"He insists."

"So I go down to the garage where he condescendingly explains there is oily residue in the expansion tank."

"I tell him I checked for that and it was not."

"He pops the bonnet and lo and behold there is oily residue in the tank but also oily residue all over the cap."

"I start the car and rev it high to check if there is any smoke with a whitish tint. Thankfully, there was none."

"I outright told him if he was going to try to con me; he should have at least washed his hands before touching the cap to add a little oil."

"Words can not describe how the colour drained from his face!"

"Never try to hustle a hustler!"

Ishaq I. Kasam

From The Other Side

"Thanks for the A2A. Since I was a mechanic for most of my life I am going to answer this from the other side."

"This happened many years ago when I was working as a commissioned technician at an independent tire shop. A customer asked for a brake inspection on his 1970 ish station wagon. We did free brake inspections so that meant all the time it took me to test drive, rack up the vehicle, inspect and estimate the job was unpaid. Normally this would take about 15 minutes so it was not a big deal but if the car needed a lot of work we could kill 30 to 60 minutes just coming up with an estimate to repair."


"When I climbed in I could tell the guy was living in the car. It was packed with clothes and everything the guy owned. As I pulled the car out of the parking space the brakes were grinding badly so a test drive was out of the question."

"When I pulled the car onto the rack I heard something fall. I got out and looked under the car and found a big puddle of gas. I thought maybe I had ripped out the fuel line so I racked the car and started my brake inspection by looking at the fuel line. This car had a metal fuel line that ran from the tank to the engine. It was so rusty and corroded that fuel was leaking out at several points along the line. So the customer had tied tin cans to the fuel line and would collect the fuel. I immediately went and talked to the customer. He was pissed that I had spilled his gas. What the hell? You're driving around in a fire trap and your mad at me? The poor guy was so down on his luck that he would collect the leaking fuel so he could pour it back into the tank. This whole situation was so dangerous that I was speechless. I had no idea what to say to the guy so I went back to finish inspecting the car."

"At this point I knew the guy would not be able to repair his vehicle. Just from the bad grinding noise I heard he was looking at at least several hundred dollars to repair the brakes. Then we still had to address the fuel leaks. I felt really bad for the guy. Everything I looked at was completely worn out. Front and rear brakes were metal on metal. None of the rotors or drums could be saved. Brake hoses were badly cracked. Wheel cylinders were leaking. The whole fuel line needed replacing. It all came to a couple thousand dollars just to make it safe."

"When I presented the estimate the guy got pretty mad. At first I thought he was mad at me but he was mad at himself for not being able to get out of the hole life had dealt him. I was pretty young at the time and had never really struggled in life. I had never been fired and could always find enough work to get by. I could always make rent and buy food. This was a side of life I had not really seen close up. It reminded me of when we studied the great depression in school. This guy wanted to work but couldn't find a job. Now his car was broken down so finding work just got harder."

"The customer wanted to drive the car but we told him it was too unsafe, he would have to tow it away. He told us he needed to sleep in it tonight but would have it towed the next day so we pushed it out into the parking lot. We knew he would just drive away as soon as we closed but felt so bad for the guy we did not call the police to report it. I hope he was finally able to get back on his feet. I never saw him again."

Curtis McCully

We Know It

"I had bought a brand new 2007 Silverado and it was a super nice truck. About a year after purchase, after a cold rainy day, the truck was almost dead! The only thing that happened when the ignition key was turned was that the theft alarm went off. Nothing else worked. No starter, lights, radio, nothing. Later on that day, the truck started and worked just as if nothing had happened. During the next year, it was towed 10 times to the shop after it rained and they had no idea what was wrong, because every time they had it, after a short while, it would suddenly start and be perfectly normal. This happened many times before my wife called the regional manager and complained about the inability of the Chevy to fix their own truck. One of the times that it had been dead at the shop, the mechanic said he had never seen anything like it because all of the 22 computers in the truck were unresponsive, until they all came on line and worked. After her call to the regional manager, we were quickly contacted by the dealer who told us to bring in the truck and they would give us a loaner vehicle until the truck was repaired."

"We dropped off the truck for the 13th time, and about three days later, I got a call to come in they had fixed the truck. They had changed out the ignition switch, the computer, and several other things, all at no charge under warrantee during the last year. I asked if they were sure and he said absolutely. The problem was found, and fixed."

"We went over to pick up the truck and asked what the problem was. He explained that while they were looking at the truck, they noticed that one of the lights in the fixture over the truck bed was out, so they were going to fix that. When they took the light fixture out, they noticed that there was some water inside the liner of the cab. They noticed that it had run down over on the drivers side, so they pulled out the liner and in the space between the cab shell and the liner was the little receiver module that monitored the rear tire pressure from the tires. When the mechanic touched it, it was HOT! He immediately realized that the water was shorting it out. They replaced the module and the light fixture and that fixed the issue."

"The "You've got to be kidding me" moment came when he explained to me that the basic problem came because the gasket around the light fixture on the back of the cab over the trunk bed had shrunk and allowed water in. All the problems in the whole truck came from a leaking gasket! He said that when the water entered the module, it shorted out the computer system and the truck went dead. When enough water had leaked out of the module, the module quit shorting the computer system and the truck was back to normal."

"PS. I kept an eye on that new gasket and about a year later noticed it had shrunk, so I got some black silicone and potted the fixture and have never had another bit of trouble with it."

Frank Duncan

Two Thousand Over

"I took my truck to a mechanic shop because when I stepped on the clutch it made a grinding noise. I thought it would be a throw out bearing but I had no time to take it apart because I was working out of town. A week later when I came to pick up my truck the shop told me it was still making noise but it was a different noise. It wasn't any different. I left the truck there another week. After two weeks I came back to pick up the truck, They told me they had changed clutch and pressure plate, throw out bearing, clutch pivot and clutch arm but it was still making the same noise. They kept it another week."

"When I came back the third week to pick up my truck a mechanic that worked there told me that a lock washer had came lose from the starter and lodged between the clutch and pressure plate, when they removed the lock washer it stopped making noise. I told him that the shop told me they replaced the clutch and pressure plate the first week, how could the new clutch and pressure plate have a noise if it were replaced? He just rolled his eyes."

"When I went to the counter my bill was 2400.00. I told the supervisor about the lock washer story and that I wanted my old parts as is state law. He told me the old parts were thrown out and would not release my truck back to me. I called the Better Business Bureau and they told me I only had to pay for the parts that were returned to me and if I had to rent a vehicle to commute to work I could sue the mechanic shop. They also called the shop to get the other side of the story and called me back to say the shop would release my truck and negotiate a new bill. The bill I agreed to was 300.00. As I left the supervisor said" Don't ever bring your vehicles back" It also sold tires and there was a crowd in the display area. I replied" You lied to me, to charged me for work you did not do, your not the only shop in town and your not any good, I would never come back. If I didn't call the Better Business Bureau, you would have stolen more from me"

"The shop closed two months later."

Mark Mitchell

Ain't Too Proud

"I grew up in a garage and seen many things through the years, but the best "you've got to be kidding me" moment came when I worked as an admissions coordinator at a skilled nursing facility. An elderly man came into my office asking for a coat hanger because he had locked his keys in his car. I was busy, so I couldn't help him but I did give him a hanger to attempt to unlock his doors of his station wagon."

"The man was parked right in front of my office window so I watched the old guy struggle for a good 45 minutes trying to unlock his door with that hanger. I felt sorry for the man and guilty I Hadn't gone to help him. I went outside and offered to try. It's not the first door I've ever had to unlock for somebody."

"i wiggled the wire, twisting and turning, trying to get the tip around the door handle, but I couldn't quite get it. If the wire was bent slightly different, I could make it work. I had pliers in my truck about six parking spaces away. I told the man that I could grab my pliers to reshape the bend and I would have him unlocked in just a few minutes. He announced "I've got pliers". He went to the back door, opened it, picked up his pliers off the back seat, closed the door and handed me the tool."

"??????? "You've got to be kidding me!" I thought it but didn't say it. I opened his back door, reached up and lifted the lock, closed the back door then opened his driver's door. I handed him back his pliers and he said "thank you". I stood back, watched him get in and drive away….wow!"

"ive got a couple more that I will share in another post that are truly worthy mechanic moments."

Scott Christensen

Alignment

"I was busy at work and had no time to work on the wife's car. So I took it to the local dealer for a brake job and to tighten the steering wheel. It had tilt and telescoping features and the bolts had come loose. Takes two special tools to fix that I did not have and I was working 60 hours a week plus. The dealer tells me they must do a frontend alignment anytime they repair any steering part. Steering wheel being a steering part. It had been a while and just had new tires put on, so what the hell. do it. It took them 10 days to do the work. I went to get it and it had brake fluid dripping off the wheels and fender. And the tires squealed as I turned onto the pavement. I turned around and went back. The service manage told me I must have hit something and knocked it out of alignment."

"Oh and it pulled hard to one side when I hit the brakes. They wanted to charge me again to "fix" it. They tried to baffle me with "front end jargon". Stopped when I corrected them on what toe in, camber, and caster were. I explained for two years I did their frontend alignments at a different shop. Seems their GM Certified guys could not pull off an alignment then. I took it to another shop, they had almost a 1/2 inch of toe in on a Camaro. They did not have a vacuum brake bleeder, so just let the fluid drool on the rotors and wheels, which them blew down the lower fenders. A short piece of hose and a beer can would have prevented that. I would have loaned them my bleeder if I would have known. Problem with the brakes was one side had OEM pads, the other had high performance pads. Both sides being soaked in fluid did not help. I cleaned everything up, replaced the pads, took it to another shop for an alignment, had them print out before and after specs. Went back to dealer and demanded I get at least my cost of the alignment back and offered to train their mechanics. I got their check for alignment. Oh, and they cracked the steering column when they "fixed" it."

Jim Ashton

Reeeeed Roccoooooo

"I was a broke, starving college student in 1992, driving a red 1985 VW Scirocco with 200,000+ miles on it that I'd picked up for $2k. It ran well for me and got me through college and then some, although I never could seem to get the backup lights to work (VW electrical gremlins). One time the tailpipe broke off the muffler so I stopped in at a Midas to see if they could weld on a new tailpipe. They threw "Red Rocco" up on the lift, took a quick look, came and informed me the muffler was completely rusted through and couldn't be repaired. I asked to see it but could not see any rust or holes from my view below. The mechanic and two other shop guys proceeded to reach up on top of the muffler, feeling around, saying, oh yeah it's all rusted through up here. Ok, how much? They go look it up, run the numbers and come back with, "$400, and we can do it right now!" I say, I don't have that kind of money right now, I'll just have to drive it as-is. They offered a special discount, right now only, $50 off, and they said I could post date a check, to help me out."

"I again declined and asked for my car. On the way home, I happened to see a small, independent muffler shop and wondered what they might charge to replace my "completely rusted through" muffler. The guy says, let me take a look at it and comes back in and informs me the muffler is fine, and that he can weld a tailpipe on for $10 in about 5–10 minutes, if I can wait."

Kevin Amrine

Oil Change

Giphy

"Back in the 80's I had a lady come in complaining her car wouldn't go over 30 mph. After making all the obvious checks, scope the cap rotor, wires etc.. I checked the condition and level of the transmission fluid. All was normal. I turned the engine off waited a couple of minutes and checked the oil."

"To my shock and surprise, the oil level was within 2″ of the dipstick handle, and like new condition. I called her back out to show her what I had found. Her explanation was that being a used car it would leak or burn oil and she would need to add oil between changes."

"Long story short, she had added a qt. a day for 7 or 8 days. She had never figured out how to check the oil so she followed someones directions."

"I remedied the situation by draining like 13 or 14 qts and doing a complete oil change service. Car had no visible leakage like front or rear main seal like a lot of cars did and wasn't burning oil either. I grabbed her and we test drove the car and the 350 cid Chevy was back to normal with plenty of power and speed."

"She was so happy, she gave me a $25.00 tip, a lot of money for that time."

"The 2nd weird situation was when a rather large woman came in with a brand new Monte Carlo SS for it's 1st ever oil change. When I got in to drive the car into the garage,I hit the gas pedal and I went straight almost into the back seat. She had actually broken the mounting bolts for the drivers seat, What a laugh we had after work having a beer…."

Alan Randall

Shoutout Queen

"Many years ago I had taken my Toyota Corolla in to a chain place for an oil change. We lived in apartments and had no place to DIY. Anyway, I left it there while I went to work with the wife. At the end of the day they called and said there had been an "issue" but that had taken care of it for me at no charge."

"My heart sank. All I could imagine was my car falling off the lift or something catastrophic. The manager met with me and showed me my car. He said they had noticed a lot of wear to me tires which they felt was unusual as I had bought them at that store only a few months prior. They did some investigating and found that the tire guy who had installed them (he had since been fired) had dropped the head alignment machine without reporting it and my new tires had been misaligned causing unusual wear. Thus, they went ahead and replaced the two fronts with new tires and realigned all four at no cost."

"Shout out to a fine crew at that shop. I am sure they are long gone by now. That was about 20 years ago."

David Wayne

Back In Alignment

"When I went to pick my truck up from an alignment shop and they hadn't replaced my steering components that were dangerously worn out. The feller doing the work supposedly had 10 years experience in this field. Yet he claimed that the stubborn parts had been on there " Too long to be replaced." I had to have this done, as it was on my source of living. I walked back to my welding truck and unspooled the torch lead and cut the bad parts out of his way, cleaned up the threads where every new component would be installed, and helped him fit everything up. Then he aligned it. I walked back up to the service manager payout and they quietly rang me up for the original bill. I looked him in the eye saying nothing until he looked away and wrote the check."

Gary Chambers

Wear And Ne'er

Giphy

"When my Toyota Camry reached 60K miles, I promptly got the timing belt replaced at a dealer in Atlanta."

"Less than 5,000 miles later, while driving to Orlando (about 500miles away) I noticed that the car would vibrate when pressing on gas and would immediately stop when gas pedal was not pressed."

"Upon reaching Orlando, I took it to a local Toyota dealer for investigation and was told that the axel needs to be changed. The service advisor also said that the timing belt and water pump are showing signs of wear and should be replaced."

"That was my "are you kidding me moment"

"Continued showing my ignorance on cars, I asked him to show me the wear and he took me to the car and tried to find a fresh oil spot, but failed. I knew enough that timing belt is not visible and is a big job to access the belt."

"I told him that I was a bit low on money and requested him to write his advice on the service report, which he kind of brushed off."

"Had he given me a report, I would have taken it to Toyota corporate."

Ryan Casata

Getting Away With Murder

"I've always been lucky in this respect. I'm 6th generation living in a small agriculture community in Northern California. If you don't run a honest and upstanding business, you will starve to death. So when I take my car ,truck or motorcycle in for service I know with out a doubt my mechanic is giving me the straight skinny ."

"But to answer your question, the first time I took my new Mazda 626 in for a tune up. The price tag was $350. Well like I said I don't question the mechanics honesty. I just thought maybe he'd made a mistake. But true to life that's what it cost you to do a tuneup on a modern car (1986). In the past I had always done the maintenance on all our family and farm vehicles. I don't think I ever spent over $35 on point, plugs, oil & filters. Nowadays I'd feel lucky to get off for $300!"

Marc Ransom

The Bolt Inside

"Many years ago I had a friend who was rebuilding an old 1950s motorbike. He came over to my house almost in tears, seems he had dropped a bolt into the engine. Now he had to strip the engine to get the offending bolt out. I asked if I could have a look and see if I had any ideas. Went back to his house and there sitting on the ground is the engine, Took a look, and down inside the engine is a bolt sitting on the cam follower. Next question, "is there any oil in the crankcase?". Was told there is no oil in the engine which is just as well as he would have to drain it out to strip the engine."

"I then gave him a long slow look, picked up the engine turned it upside down, gave it a gentle shake and the bolt fell out onto the ground. Turned the engine up the right way, put it down and slowly walked away without looking at him or saying a word, just shaking my head as I went. Anther acquaintance who was there told me later the look on my friends face was priceless."

Paul Crouchley

That's one advantage to living in New York City. You don't need to worry about the costs and concerns of owning a car. Now subway horror stories, that's a whole different story.

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People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions

Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'

silhouette photography of couple
Sean Stratton on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.

Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.

However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.

I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:

"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"

It's Just A Joke!

"No cruel or rude pranks."

– detective_kiara

"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."

– innocuousspeculation

We're (Not) Gonna Party!

"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."

– PlantBasedStangl

"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."

– PlantBasedStangl

LOL

"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."

– Legendary_Lamb2020

My Ears Are Bleeding!

"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."

– YourLocalOrca

At that point, it does sound like them 😂

– CuriousRedditor98

Funemployed

"Have a f**king job."

– Cuss-Mustard

"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."

"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"

"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"

"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."

– DigNitty

"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."

– Pinsit

Just Breathe

"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."

–fishfood19

"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."

– Jonowl89

That'll Do It

"I guess my husband restricts my dating."

– HeinousEncephalon

"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"

– AuralRapist

Prehistoric Love

"Must like dinosaurs."

– Grungeceratops

"That goes without saying."

– Plain_Chacalaca

What's In A Name?

"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."

– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."

– severaltalkingducks

Be Polite

"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."

"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."

– OctopusCandleCompany

God Only Knows

"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."

"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."

– Lulu_42

"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."

– Alcoraiden

Let's Move Tonight (Literally)

"They need to be ok with cold weather."

"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."

"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."

– ThePresidentCantSwim

"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."

– Partner-Elijah

My Purr-fect Match

"Cat has to approve."

– Possible-Source-2454

Non-Negotiable

"They need to be male. Kind of important."

– RMHaney

"So weird, I want the complete opposite."

– eightvo

Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

Life is full of shock and surprise.

Apparently, that is part of the fun.

Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?

We always think we're immune to way too many things.

Anything and everything is possible.

It's important to be ready.

Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:

"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"

I haven't been left that shocked that often.

I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.

But you never know.

I'm Dead

Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy

"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."

"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."

amanitachill

Crash Into Me

"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."

aster636

"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."

anjie59k

Hot Air

Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy

"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."

GymDoll2000

"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."

Environmental-Car481

This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.

Always have. Always will.

Tragic

Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy

"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."

Tssodie

Bad Penguin

"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."

"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."

archaeologistbarbie

All Gone

"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."

"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."

toomuchisjustenough

Good Luck

"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."

jumbospicyslimjim

"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"

frappbarqueen

Early Michael Myers

"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."

Mr_Spaghetti_Hands

Bad Landing

Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy

"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."

Competitive_Show6205

This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"

They are minions of the devil.

Person cooking in home kitchen
Conscious Design on Unsplash

We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.

From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.

Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:

"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"

Fly Spray Sandwiches

"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."

"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."

"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."

- littlehungrygiraffe

Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs

"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."

- PhoneboothLynn

A Disturbing Surprise

"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."

"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."

- MrRailton

In Need of Child Protective Services

"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."

"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."

"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."

- Alltheprettydresses

Traumatized by Raisins

"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."

- tcumber

"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."

- User2716057

You WISH That Was Vinegar

"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."

"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."

- 116843189

Poor Home Hygiene

"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."

- MinimalistHomestead

Every Surface Covered

"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."

"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."

"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"

"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."

- KnittinAndB***hin

O Holy Expiration Dates

"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."

"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"

- SundayMorningTrisha

An Immune System to Remember

"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."

"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."

"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."

"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."

- tha_stormin_mormon

Neighborly Love

"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."

"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."

"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."

"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."

"Some people need help and a little company…"

- SnooPeripherals6557

No Longer Rice

"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."

"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"

"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."

- justad**nfool

"Those cats probably used it as litter."

- Anonymanx

"Yeah, that was my fear."

- justad**nfool

Could Have Warned Her

"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."

"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."

"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."

- smoothiefruit

"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"

- whydontthissitework

Bad to the Point of Malnutrition

"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."

"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."

"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."

"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."

"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."

"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."

"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."

- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

Clean Hands

"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."

"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."

- SafewordisJohnCandy

We're left with chills after reading these stories.

Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.