People value honesty but it's pretty difficult to be truthful to ourselves all the time. And while most of us abhor outright lies, sometimes we just can't help convincing ourselves something is true, even when it's not.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This works precisely never.Giphy
I don't need to write this down, I'll remember it.
Unhappy with your partner? Dig yourself in deeper.Giphy
Adding more responsibility will fix a marriage/relationship. Things suck? Have a baby
Still sucks? Buy a house together
Still sucks? Time for another baby.
Sometimes entrenching your lives closer together doesn't work. Sometimes you have to step away.
It's not like we go to meetings...Giphy
"I'm not an alcoholic."
Yeah, sure, everybody keeps vodka in the washing machine, Mom.
Looking at you, Virginia and New Jersey.Giphy
I'm a good driver, it's everyone else who is terrible.
There are never enough McNuggets.Giphy
I'm only going to get the 6 chicken nuggets meal at McDonald's and not the 10.
Actually... this isn't a lie.Giphy
"Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires."
Right, "healthy" people *never* just keel over.Giphy
You're only as healthy as you feel.
Learn how to be happily single before seeking a relationship.Giphy
"Being in a relationship will complete me and fix my life."
No, it won't. Get your life together, improve yourself.
This is skilled lying.Giphy
Kids have the worst lies. My niece made a bowl of ice cream for herself when she wasn't allowed to. When confronted she said the cat made the bowl and ate it, not her.
What other choice is there?Giphy
"Everything's going to be okay, it'll all work out in the end." I'm a single mom and this little mantra has gotten me through some times that I didn't think I'd make it out. But it's okay everything will work out in the end because it has to, I have no other option.