Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay

Have you guys ever butt dialed someone and had an "oh no" moment? I have. I once butt dialed my parents in the middle of ... um ... "fulfilling my marital duties" as ye old folk would say. Things. Got. Awkward.


Oh it's not just the outgoing awkward butt dials I've had brushes with, oh no.

I used to work for pretty much the worst boss ever. He was an unpleasant man with a loud violent streak and a well-documented but passionately-denied steroid and cosmetic surgery addiction. He owned a company that trained doctors in new procedures.


It was common for him to call us on weekends or well after hours to demand tasks be done immediately or that one of us deal with a "problem doctor" so that he didn't have to. We all learned pretty quickly that if we wanted actual weekends it was best not to answer the phone if he called.

So one Saturday, that's just what I did. I hit the little red X when he called and just kept going about my day. A few hours later I checked my voicemail to find he hadn't hung up when he thought he did.

... and that, my good readers, is how I found out what number nose he was on, exactly what kinds of drugs kept causing his nasal collapses and that his wife much preferred her first husband.

Reddit user Donnie_Dont_Do asked:

Redditors listening attentively to a "butt dial" phone call, what is the juiciest thing you have ever heard?

Buckle up, babies. You're in for a ride.

This Fart-versation

A woman butt dialed me at work. I now have a voicemail saved of that woman talking to her girlfriend about her boyfriend's farting behavior.

"For real, for real...And guys just let it go, you know? .... Nah, I mean like one time we's sittin' on the couch and he farted, and I was like 'oh, you must be real comfortable around me now, huh?' And he's like, 'nah, I just don't give a f*ck."

- SealChe

We Knew Who Got The Toys

This will be depressing

My father was cheating on mom with someone named amber. She had one son around the age of 10. I remember he accidentally called us and we listened carefully to everything.

He talked about Getting a PS3 (this happened a long time ago). Me and Brother listened getting excited. We thought it was for us. This wasn't around Christmas. We waited for him to come home and Nothing happened. We waited 3 days and no news.

While we were getting dropped off at school I found a Toys R Us ticket that had a PS3 , Headphones , Toy cars , and other stuff in them. I showed it to my dad and asked him "When are we getting this?"

He stayed silent. Not a word or even a sound.

We don't talk about this and avoid it. We knew who got the toys and It makes us think a lot.

I laugh about it now Since that Amber girl was cheating on my dad and using him for money.

- LoliKunLoli

No Uncertain Terms

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My best friend's girlfriend butt dialed me a week before my birthday and I got to listen while he described to her (in no uncertain terms) that no matter what her jealousy issue was, he was buying me a huge expensive gift. Then started on a long list of all the times I had been there for him.

It's nice to know you're appreciated.

- Ke5tr4l

So Afraid To Die

My dad didn't hang up fast enough after I was calling him while having an anxiety attack. I heard him say to my stepmom "that girl's so afraid to die she's afraid to live."

- haawc13

On The Way To A Strip Club

I was in the other end of this once and accidentally butt dialed my wife while in the car, drunk and singing, on the way to a strip club. We were just dating at the time, but she knew about it.

She still plays it every once in a while to laugh at my awful singing.

- Fair_University

Wholesome

I have a wholesome one!

After a first date with an old boyfriend, he picked up his friend and they drove me home together. When I got into the house I got a call from him. He had butt dialed me and was telling his best friend how amazing I was.

- flibbertygibbet2

Medical Assistance

My grandmother got to listen in on her gay brother having "relations" with a one night stand. At first she thought he was hurt and was worried, so she stayed on the phone. Pretty soon it was very clear he did not need medical assistance.

To this day she still teases him about it.

- WeirdMuffins

Apple Watch

I work as an emergency operator and all I can say is don't get freaky whilst wearing your Apple Watch 😋 It's happened more often than you'd think. Someone in the throws of passion can sound very similar to someone in distress.. Awkward for everyone involved lol.

- ChickenPecs

Sneeze

Got a butt dial from a random number and I heard the person sneeze really loud. When I replied "gesundheit" I heard him go "Thanks" and then he actually freaked out because I guess he was alone. Bonus points if he worked in a funeral home

- TOMMYKNOCKER42

Used Shirts

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I used to hang around with a girl that was a bit... Clingy. One day I got butt dialed by her and all I hear is clothing rustling and some muffled voice speaking gibberish, then, some faint inhaling, and some more talking.

I said in a loud voice "HELLO?", and I got no answer.

The inhaling became louder and ragged, I tried 3 or 4 times again and whoever it was hanged because they probably heard me.

Three months later, I find out she was keeping my used shirts and smelled them.

- Razor311203

Every Excuse

My uncle harshly trashing me to my grandmother and her quietly agreeing with him, right after they had both called to wish me happy birthday and compliment me on some professional success.

I hung up and laughed it off, but oh was it satisfying to know I'm not delusional and he does in fact take every excuse to hate on me. It's good to know where we stand...

- Aiscriim90

Mom And Dad

Not exactly juicy, but my mom butt dialed me years ago when she and my dad were driving on vacation.

They're both gone now, but I still love listening to ten minutes of them talking to each other without knowing they were being heard. It's one of my most precious mementos of them.

- Holarooo

Cross The County Line

Not me, but my best friend is a county officer who's raising his sister-in-law's kids because she's too far gone in addiction to be a fit mother. Insert many stories of her abusing and neglecting them and a boyfriend possibly molesting them.

She butt-dialed my friend one time and he listened and overheard her selling Xanax. Later that day she wanted to visit the kids, but he told her the visit was off and if she crossed his county line into his jurisdiction (she lives in a different county) he was going to have her stopped and searched. It was a while before she came around again.

- ER10years_throwaway

Such An Eye Opener

My ex husband was at work and he called my cellphone to just say hi. After we said our goodbyes, he must have not hung up the receiver properly because I could still hear him and his coworker talking and laughing. He was calling me a bitch and how I can't leave him alone. We were having issues but I thought we were working on them. It was such an eye opener to hear him speak about me in such a negative way.

- SmokedEggs

Under Arrest

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I called a friend and his butt answered the phone

I heard a man shouting "you think I'm dumb? I know what all that stuff is. You will go in. I promise!"

I just hang up and didn't think about it.

A few weeks later I asked him what that was I heard. He asked me what in talking about. I told him that I called and heard a guy yelling all that stuff. Then he realized he answered the phone by accident.

He was breaking into a house but got caught. Police chased him and arrested him. I called him when he was laying on the ground handcuffed, and the officer yelling at him.

- Thrannn

An Imploding Marriage

I was hanging out with a co worker and his wife pocket dialed him.. When she was about to have sex with another guy. It was entertaining hearing her marriage imploding and my co worker seemed kinda relieved (like this was the easiest decision he'll ever make).

- IONenemabandit

No Plans

My boss one time butt dialed me and I was listening to his conversation with my Co worker, it sounded Ike they were super busy and looking for people to call in. Hes going down the list and gets to my name and my Co workers like "nah he said he had plans." and I'm just sitting there like, I said no such thing, and I'd be happy for the extra hours but it would be creepy to call and say I was listening to their conversation so I just let it go.

- frank_datank_99

Rookie Mistake

I butt dialed my mum whilst talking to my weed dealer. she grounded me.

- TypicalMonitor

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

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If Harry Potter was set in the United States, how would the story change?
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They say one man's trash is another man's treasure - and sometimes that saying is pretty literal.

Lots of people build entire businesses picking up cool stuff on bulk-pickup trash day, and upcycling it into something even better that people are willing to pay for.

Sometimes, you might even end up with something pristine and usable right away.

Reddit user JampackedAlborn1976 asked:

What is the most valuable item that you have seen somebody throw away or have found in the garbage?

And for real ... some of these people scored BIG TIME. Like big time. Like really big.

Like Refrigerator Big

just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"Our current refrigerator is a double-door one with exterior ice and water dispensers. We got it for free, with absolutely no problems whatsoever. It's just a few years old."

"How we got it? My dad (civil engineer) was doing some work on someone's apartment when they said they had bought a new modern French door refrigerator and that they were just going to discard their current refrigerator."

"My dad simply asked if he could have it.. and they said yes." - SauloJr

Immigrants In Action

Dog Brazil GIF Giphy

"I immigrated to the US from Brazil when I was 12. And every Saturday, my mom, stepdad, sister and I would go out at night to upper middle class neighborhoods the day before trash pickup to rummage through the garbage they were putting out."

"We found perfectly good TVs, VCRs, microwaves, couches, lazy boys, tables, books and comics, etc."

"I couldn't believe these Americans were throwing out like that. We furnished our entire house with that stuff. The entire Brazilian immigrant community in my town did it. We were flabbergasted." - PhillipLlerenas

With A Note

Television Bunny GIF Giphy

"My wife yelled at me that someone put a big TV outside with a note on it. Walked across the street and it was a brand new Samsung 37 inch HDTV."

"They were actually renovating the apartment building and got an upgraded TV. Even had the remote taped to it with batteries, I guess I have really nice neighbors here in NYC." - MadLintElf

Life Hack!

studying busy philipps GIF by Drunk History Giphy

"If you want high end stuff out of the garbage for free, follow these steps:"

"Pick a city with a large university in it. If it's a school well known for its law programs, or medical, or engineering, all the better."

"Search for luxury apartment complexes that market themselves towards students. Look for things like included shuttle service, pools, fitness centers, etc. The more expensive and swanky the better."

"Figure out when finals week is at the end of Spring semester."

"Dumpster dive at those luxury apartment complexes during that week and the following weekend."

"Very wealthy international students will arrive in the US, fully outfit an apartment with nice furniture, big TVs, audio systems, gaming consoles, you name it, and when the semester ends they just junk it all because they aren't going to fly it back to wherever, and it's too much effort to spend the time selling when they do not care about the money."

"It's a smaller scale phenomenon a little like all the luxury cars abandoned at the airport in Dubai." - whattothewhonow

Literal Gold Treasure

valley of the boom david kim stanley GIF by National Geographic Channel Giphy

"I found a gold coin at goodwill for 5 bucks. It was in a case with someone's name and company name."

"It was their gift from the company for retiring. I assume the family threw it out when he died not knowing it was solid gold. It was in a in a thick solid plastic case that had to be cracked opened."

"It literally said 1 oz fine gold on it. I figured 5 bucks was worth the risk it not being real."

"It was a South African KRUGERRAND 1 oz coin. Everyone was just too busy to read it lol."

"Bought it and took it too a pawn shop and sold it for a couple grand." - streetmitch

The Best Day Of My Life

Will Smith Wow GIF by 1LIVE Giphy

"When I was a kid, I grew up right outside the Los Angeles area in the suburbs. My stepdad was a garbage truck driver for the city of Beverly Hills."

"I swear in the late 80s and early 90s we'd have so much basically brand new stuff (still in boxes) brought home on a regular basis."

"I'll never forget one day in particular. My stepdad came home and was like 'get ready, come to the car, I'll need your help.' So I go down there and in back seat of his car he had a few large black garbage bags."

"We haul them up to our apartment and he's like 'go ahead, open them.' Inside was what I could only describe as an 80s kids trove of treasures."

"One bag contained just about every Ghostbusters and GI joe toy you can imagine, they were played with but had every little accessory, there was a bunch the playsets and everything."

"In the other bag was pretty much every LEGO of the early 80s sets, still in their original boxes. I was a big LEGO nerd but was totally thrown off by the old school space ones because they looked nothing like the 90s space sets. I think they even said "NASA" the minifig's chests."

"That was like a random day in July, it felt like Christmas. I was 9 years old and it was basically like the best day of my life up to that point." - Zombgief

Who Throws Away Money?

spongebob squarepants money GIF Giphy

"A jar full of quarters."

"Annual spring cleaning projects happen in a lot of towns where anyone can put almost anything on the curb and it's taken away for free. It's to stop open dumping or stuff being dumped in ditches."

"Sometimes people deal with estates from winter by just dumping all their grandfather's stuff on the curb for the cleanup to get the house empty immediately. Most often they don't even bother to look at what they are throwing away."

"In 2012 on north road in Akwesasne I found an estate pile that I shuttled back and forth with my bike trailer getting lots of older tools like a scythe, hammers, saws, screwdrivers and wrenches, a 22 rifle with 100 round of ammo, a bunch of ar15 magazines, cast iron cookware, oil lamps, a hand crank food mill with all kinds of accessories, a black raven axe head (worth $100 easily since they are a collectable), and a quart size mason jar full of change mostly quarters."

"That was spring and the sheriffs office did a gun buyback in the fall where I took the mags and got $20 each for them (30 round mags suddenly illegal under the safe act of fall 2012. The buyback was a local political move). I still got the 22 and picked off a lot of woodchuck with it in my gardens." - Bogtrotterso1980

Filing Fever

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"I own a small company which is located directly in front of a state funded program facility. The state decided to have this office shred all of their files as they were going to switch to electronic data (exclusively)."

"We found two of these old rotary filing cabinets outside of their office. They're worth almost $3k each!"

"They just placed them there and we saw them and asked what they planned on doing with them. They said, 'Hmmm.....either donate them or trash them.' The state told them simply to get rid of them."

"We jumped at this and took the two into our already tiny office because there was no way in hell that we were going to let these gems go. (We do use paper files, unfortunately)."

"They wanted to give us two smaller ones but seriously, our office is very small. I made some phone calls and they were picked up immediately by other office workers/friends." - GlitzBlitz

This Sucks - In A Good Way!

mrs doubtfire vacuum GIF Giphy

"In the 1990s my moms work had a really nice high end Hoover that stopped working. They threw it out."

"My mom took it home because my dad tinkers and repairs things easily. Turns out since it was a bagged vacuum all the dummies had to do is REPLACE THE BAG."

"Like it never occurred to them to do the most easy and basic step. My parents were excited to have a really upgraded vacuum. Maybe like $500ish." - schweddyboobs

Tiffany's Trash

Audrey Hepburn Movie GIF by The Good Films Giphy

"My dad found an old stained glass window laying out by someone's trash. He thought it would look cool hanging in our cabin, so he stopped and grabbed it."

"It sat in our garage for a few years before he looked at it more closely and found "Tiffany and Co." branding on it. He got in touch with some stained glass window dude who figured it was worth about $40k fully restored, so my dad sold it to him for somewhere around $30k." - throwaway_stopdrink

Have you had any awesomely trashtastic treasures? Let us know!