Trying To Make Things Better
Actions ripple out through time and we sometimes don't see who they affect until it's too late. Choices eventually catch up to us, for better or worse. No one understands this better than bullies. A child's ruthless behavior towards one another on the school grounds and neighborhoods can create psychological scars that last for years. When the bullies rise up and apologizes, though, you have a real chance to heal old wounds. Reddit user, u/Vatimus, wanted to know about those times when they asked
[Serious] Bullies who felt bad for what you did and eventually tried to say sorry, how did it go?
When It's You
I had a friend in grade school and we were always horsing around, wrestling, etc. We ended up going to different high schools and I didn't see him for years until we were both at a forensics tournament in high school. I was excited to see him, but he introduced me to his friends as "The guy who used to bully me in grade school."
I was sad that day. I may have cried a little.
Edit: I did apologize, but he just brushed it off, didn't seem to care. Never saw him again.
Just Suck It Up And Do It
Saw a girl I'd been a d-ck to in highschool recently, after about 13 years of not seeing her. I recognized her, she recognized me. There was an awkward moment where we both pretended that we didn't recognize each other, but I decided to just buck up and do the right thing.
Went over to her and said, "Hey, I don't know if you remember me very well, but I was sort of a d-ck to you in high school and I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve any of that. I don't know what was wrong with me."
She got this confused look, then smiled really big and said, "You were a d-ck! You were awful to me! Thanks for saying that." Then she introduced me to to her fiance and I got some wedding details and congratulated her and that was pretty much it.
Reach Out And Say Hi
Me and almost the whole 3 classes of our year bullied this kid for a long time, probably for 6-7 years. Maybe not every day by everyone but it was consistent from 1st grade to the 6-7th.
About 8 years ago that person suddenly pops up as a suggested friend on Facebook and it all came back to me, since I hadn't really thought about it for years. Man I felt like a piece of sh-t.
I sent the guy a friend request and a message and wrote him that I was sorry, listed the things that I remembered I did to him and asked him if there was anything else that I didn't remember that I did to him. He said that he forgave me and that I wasn't the first one to talk to him about it. This guy is doing really good today, has many friends, loves his job and is in such a good shape it makes me feel embarrassed. I'm really happy that he is doing so well.
But even though he said it was okay and it was forgiven I still feel like a piece of sh-t when I think back to it.
Leave It To The Parents
This isn't something that happened later it was fixed then. When I was alot younger I remember I was a bully to another kid in school. I'd be mean and call him ugly infront of my other friends.
He lived pretty close by and one day his parents came over with him and told my parents how I'd been bullying him during school. I'm glad that happened. We ended up playing video games that day and getting along. This was about the time my parents divorced and I moved away and never saw him again. But I'm glad I was called out then on my behavior and was able to fix it.
Loooooong story short: Bullied my younger sister mercilessly for her size when we were younger. Aged out of doing that around 13-14 years old. Was 16 or 17 when I realized how mean I had been and knew it was time to apologize when I realized that it physically hurt me thinking about the way I had treated her. I love her so much.
So I apologized and it was so ranty and redundant but she accepted it and I've tried to be a good friend and a great brother every since. For some reason her quiet smile and acceptance of my apology made me feel even worse. No idea why there was this 3 year or so window in my childhood where I behaved that way.
She and I are in our twenties now and I step outside of work most days to call her and tell her I love her.
A Boy In The Fray
I was usually the one bullied. But this instance I became to bully and felt really badly for it. When I was in 10th grade, an older guy in the school took interest in me and we started dating. He was popular and I was not. His friends constantly made fun of him for dating me.
His ex girlfriend who was in the same school happened to be a popular cheerleader and she was very pretty and liked. I wanted to be her so badly. I felt insecure. So I started calling her names anytime I seen her. I would yell "whore" or something when she walked by, really immature.
The next school year she was handing out fliers for the first day of school, and I went up to her and sincerely apologized. I told her I was jealous of her and I was acting ridiculous and that I hoped I didn't cause her too much sh-t. She graciously accepted the apology and we never had an issue after that. What made me feel worse was she never tried to be mean to me back. She was always kind no matter how I treated her. She deserved the apology.
Times Change. People Change.
I used to bully this nerd but then I became a nerd and we became friends.
Psh, Gotta Get There Before Curtain Call
I said sorry, he said he didn't care then and doesn't care now.
We're good friends now and are going to see Metallica in a couple months
The Chain Ends
I bullied a bully so I guess that doesn't make me anything less than a bully.
After I was done with highschool this sense kicked into me I called up the original bully and apologized to him saying that, 'I am sorry for what I did back in school. I was young/d-ck and thought it was cool but I am really sorry.' He was like, 'no man its all cool. Don't worry about it and all.' We met after that and were good friends.
Fast forward 2 years i meet the guy who was bullied by the original bully. We are catching up and he tells me that Original Bully called me last year and apologized for what he did back in school. This dude was very surprised by this gesture.
I was surprised too but it followed by a really good feeling.
Do It Before It's Too Late
I didn't bully this girl, I thought she was sweet and was fairly close to her. However in highschool there was this girl who was bullied by a lot of People. She was a strong girl and got through it but the bullying was rather bad.
5 years after highschool she was diagnosed with a rare terminal cancer, being in a small town everyone knew everyone. Everyone who was mean to her all of a sudden was really nice to her sending her loads of messages apologising. And after she died more or less everyone who was means to her felt tremendous guilt for making her highschool years hell.
She thought it was better to love than hate and forgave them but she hated the fact they where apologising because she was dying.
Edit: after highschool she was happy. She had a loving boyfriend right to the end and good friends and family. Just so you all know it wasn't all sad!