Kids don't have a filter. Seriously: They don't––and they can sometimes say things that are brutal, surprising, and even inappropriate.
Today's burning question comes from Redditor illVent, who asked the online community: "What was the most brutal thing you heard a kid say?"
We're going to say "Ouch!" in advance.
"He looked at me..."
As a teenager I had horrendous acne. My three year old cousin was asked if they wanted to give me a hug before leaving a family gathering.
He looked at me and said "No, his face has big ugly buttons" and then walked off.
"I was visiting my grandchildren..."
I was visiting my grandchildren (4 and 6 yo) and their parents, and reminded them that I was leaving in two days.
Both children clapped and cheered.
"My little sister..."
My little sister told my first girlfriend that she was the first girl who was willing to talk to me.
"I told her I don't have one."
A 7 year old asked me "Where is your girlfriend?", since my brother's girlfriend was there with us. I told her I don't have one. So she said "Oh. Yeah I guess some people are supposed to be alone."
Well damn.
"The boy next door..."
The boy next door once told my Mom that she shouldn't hang her underwear on the clothesline because "his mother didn't want his father looking at it."
"My son asked..."
GiphyMy brother is blind in one eye.
My son asked "Uncle, which eye do i look at?" Obviously i thought this was savage but my Brother took it like a champ and circled his 'correct eye' in red pen.
"That's not very nice."
Me (putting my daughter to bed): I love you, honey. Goodnight.
Her: I don't love you.
Me: That's not very nice. I'm sure you love me.
Her: Nope. I just love Mommy. Bye.
"One time a kid..."
One time a kid in the day camp I was volunteering at asked me if I had a mommy.
"Of course I have a mommy. Why do you ask?"
"Oh. I thought you didn't have a mommy because she died because you're so old."
I was 15 at the time.
"While my aunt is getting changed..."
While my aunt is getting changed into a bathing suit years ago.
5 year old cousin: "Mom I want to be like you when I grow up I just don't want your body."
"I worked at a library..."
I worked at a library and they were going to have a "scare away drugs" day were you dress scary for a day. A little girl told the librarian "wow you went all out for the scary day!", the librarian said, "Ohh that's not today it's on Friday". The little girl said "Ohh well you're ready" and walked off.
It was painful to see a 35-year-old woman eviscerated by a 2nd grader.
"I work as a therapist..."
I work as a therapist and had a kid walk up to his new teacher, place his hands on her belly and ask in a ringing voice, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
He genuinely thought she was pregnant, bless his little soul.
"Was sitting on the couch with my girlfriend..."
GiphyWas sitting on the couch with my girlfriend and her nephew and he was staring at me.
Him: "What's wrong with your neck?"
Me: "What? Do I have a bruise or something?"
Him: "No you have like a big thing sticking out."
Me: "Oh that's my adam's apple."
Him: "Oh... Is it always going to be like that?"
Me: "Ummm.... yes?"
Him: "That's really gross looking."
"That was the hardest I ever had to hold back laughter."
I was driving my son and his friend home from a baseball tournament, they were about 12. The kid's dad was a bit of a loudmouth a--hole and he wanted to ride the 2 hr drive with us because he didn't pitch a very good game and he knew his dad would be yelling at him. I overheard him tell my kid that "I know why my dad hates me, I walked in on him in the bathroom and my thing is way bigger than his." That was the hardest I ever had to hold back laughter.
"My two daughters..."
My two daughters (5 and 7) were fighting over a toy. The younger one turned to the older one and said, "If you don't give me the toy I'm going to cut off your head and bury it in the backyard where no one will ever find it."
"I was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood..."
I was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween and was taking my friend's nieces trick-or-treating. One of them turned to me and said, "What are you supposed to be?"
Me: Little Red Riding Hood
Her: Oh, I though she was supposed to be pretty.
"I was 23..."
"Why do you have more hair on your face than your head?"
I was 23 and hadn't fully accepted my hairline thinning yet, caught me way off guard.
"My younger sisters and I..."
My younger sisters and I were spending the night at our grandparents' once. The youngest (9 at the time) slept in our grandma's bed and the middle and I (13 and 15) were staying in the guest room. In the morning the 9 year old came to wake us up, and the conversation went something like this:
9: Wake up, breakfast's ready.
Me: No, go away, I'm trying to get my beauty rest.
9: Oh. Well... [13] is trying to get her ugly rest!
Never been prouder.
"I work as a cashier..."
I work as a cashier in a fast food restaurant. I enjoy wearing makeup because since I wear a uniform makeup is one of the few ways I can express myself. My niece who was around two at the time "Why do you wear makeup? The restaurant doesn't need it."
"I was watching her and her 3 siblings for 4 days..."
My 6 year old niece is a particularly sassy little girl. I was watching her and her 3 siblings for 4 days when I was 19. I took them to the pool and then a pizza place and was obviously stressed but trying to keep my cool with the little rascals. They were holding their pizza really weird and all the toppings were sliding right off. I held up a slice with two hands:
Me: no, like this! Haven't you guys ever had pizza before? /s
Niece: haven't you ever watched 4 kids before?
I called my mom and cried.
"My little sister..."
My little sister (she was maybe 5-6 at the time) looked at me one day and said, "You're like a drunken archer."
I asked what that meant, and she said, "You have no aim in life."
Food trends are not so very different from fashion trends, constantly evolving and quickly becoming outdated or passé.
Can you think of the last time you were served ambrosia at a dinner party?
Or have you noticed how anything featuring kale is now met with an eye roll rather than excitement?
Of course, some food trends tend to last longer than others.
Even if many people wish that they would also become extinct... the sooner the better!
Redditor Prestigious-Humor872 was eager to hear all the food trends people wished would die out, and fast, leading them to ask:
"What modern food trend can you not wait to die?"
Less Isn't Always More...
"2 ingredient desserts (with 7 'optional' ingredients that appear once you read the actual recipe)."- strawberry-emma
You Pay For The Experience
"Food trucks that charge the same price as a premium restaurant but serve half the size on a floppy plate that I have to stand up to eat."- thorn_10
"Food trucks."
"Weren’t they supposed to serve cheaper food because of lower overhead?"
"No brick and mortar?"
"We have a lobster roll truck-pulled by a Range Rover- that shows up for lunch and charges $22 for one entree."
"Ridiculous."- tizzymyers·
GiphyChoice Of Words...
"Calling a slight alteration to a recipe a 'hack'."
"Adding parmesan cheese to your grilled cheese sandwich is not a 'hack'."
"It's a minor recipe change."- No_Pear_2326
Jumping The Gun A Bit...
"If I'm on a website I'm only there to look at your menu."
"I'm not interested in starting an order before I've looked at the menu."
"No, I don't want to give you my zip code."
"Just give me your menu and some food pictures."- DueRest
Staying Humble?
"Fancy restaurants that say they serve 'street tacos' and proceed to charge $18 for three."- Chipwich75
T-Bell Yes GIF by Taco BellGiphyThere's A Reason We're Told Not To Play With Our Food...
"The stupid food wasting trends on YouTube and TikTok etc."- fluffernuttersndwch
Presentation Is Key...
"For some reason putting food in wine glasses."- Ralphroberts603
"Restaurants serving food on cutting boards, shovels, paper, shells, or anything that is not an actual plate."- Funny_Disaster1002
meat grill GIF by Gifs LabGiphyRemember The Golden Arches And The Red Roofs?
"Making all fast food buildings look like cookie-cutter beige/grey boxes."
"They all used to have their own distinct personalities."- mattnotis
There's Economizing, And Then There's Jusy Poor Hygeine...
"The videos of people making food in sinks."
"Gross."- h20rabbit
Is It Even Still A Secret After 100 Thousand Views?
"Any TikTok/IG trend that makes life more difficult for fast-food workers with overly complex orders or ordering stuff not on the menu or trying to 'one up' each others orders etc."- HiThisIsMichael
bored fast food GIF by Zaxby'sGiphyMaybe It Gives Them Incentive?
"Tipping as an option BEFORE receiving good service."- mytimeis2044
Sweet Tooth? Or Cavity Express?
"Sweets on top of sweets."
"A milkshake with a donut, lollipop, and cupcake attached."- Marleygem
Technology Slowly Taking Our Jobs...
"I just went to a restaurant, not a fast food place, a sit-down restaurant where you have to scan the QR code for the menu, then a screen pops up where you have to place your own order."
"No one comes to the table to answer questions, nothing."
"You place your order, a person comes by and throws your drinks at you. "
"Then they swing by a while later and throw your food at you."
"That’s all you see of them."
"You pay your bill on your phone, and are still expected to tip."- Megmuffin102
Saint Urbain Website GIF by Front of HouseGiphyBe it in presentation, cooking style, or flavor profile, people will likely always try to make food "cool" in truly bizarre ways.
Sometimes ignoring that the only thing that should truly matter is whether or not it tastes good.
At least people have finally realized that kale doesn't need to be added to everything!
For now, at least...
When discussing love and relationships, the motto is usually less is more.
But what if there is more of one partner?
Being involved with identical twins can be quite the experience.
Can you really tell them apart?
Is everything identical?
If you're attracted to one, aren't you automatically attracted to the other?
So many questions.
Now we need some answers.
Redditor nicknamesofdaveryder wanted to hear about love and the twin experience, so they asked:
"Redditors who married someone with an identical twin sibling, why are you glad you're not with the other twin instead?"
I've never met a lot of twins, let alone gotten involved with a pair.
I have questions.
Hopefully I get some answers.
Saved
Comedy Central Wink GIF by Drunk HistoryGiphy"My late husband's twin was a non-functioning alcoholic and my husband wasn’t. My husband says joining the navy was what saved him from going down that road."
iteachag5
Falling Asleep
"Story time! I am an identical twin (we still look so much alike!) and one night I spent the night at her house. She and I fell asleep in the same bed because we were up late talking, etc. Her husband slept on the couch. The next morning my twin went to take a shower and her husband laid down on the bed with me (thinking it was her of course). I jokingly said 'Hey sailor, looking for a little variety?' He shot off the bed and said 'If I was looking for variety, do you think I'd choose you??'"
tanyagal2
The Good Guy And The Other One
"I didn't marry him but I dated an identical twin. His twin's girlfriend and I used to joke around that she got the evil twin. He was just a selfish, messed-up person. One of the benefits of breaking up with my boyfriend was no longer having his twin in my life. Plus, his ex gf and I are still great friends! The good guy was just the lesser evil. She wanted to get as far away from that family as I did. The best thing to come out of those relationships was our friendship."
super-ro
Love Wins
"My dad's an identical twin. People have a hard time distinguishing them, but to my mom and me, they look like two completely different people because of the way they walk/talk/etc. Obviously, my mom only fell in love with this one person. When you love someone it's actually pretty easy to tell identical twins apart."
michaelsgavin
Issues
Threaten Ashley Olsen GIFGiphy"The other twin has the same personality as I do. We argue readily and are super competitive with each other. We butt heads on a lot of issues."
why_not_send_a_nude
Personality clashes aren't just a twin thing.
It's a human thing.
We can't help ourselves.
Different People
Triplets GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"I work with a guy who married an identical triplet, one of the triplets also works with us. I asked him one day if it was weird working with someone who looked just like his wife. He got a little pissed and basically said they are all very different people and he doesn't see much of his wife in her."
LeafMeAlone_99
He's Evil
"We’re not married but known each other since we were 12 and have been together 3 and a half years. His twin is a massive di**head who tried to break us up multiple times, was madly in love with me in his own words, and after 2 years of pursuing me declared I was a terrible person and put him through hell. Because I didn’t break up with his TWIN BROTHER to date him."
xMollyP
Life Choices
"My husband and his twin brother look very different to me, although they are identical and get mistaken for one another all the time. They couldn’t be more different in terms of personality. They have different values and life goals, hobbies, one is introverted and the other is extroverted. If they were two people who didn’t look alike, I would automatically not be attracted to my brother-in-law simply because we are not remotely compatible personality-wise."
"Also they have very different styles. I do not find the way my husband’s twin dresses/grooms his hair attractive. It’s so wild to me when people can’t tell them apart because they couldn’t be more different in my eyes."
lanieeeeeeee
Opposites
"Well, my wife and I have been together for 30 years. She has a 'mirror' twin. Even now, if you don’t know them well or interact frequently you will not be able to tell them apart. They are complete opposites. I married the extrovert, she has never met a stranger, will try anything at least once, and can find a positive aspect in almost everything she encounters, they are also best friends, my wife drags her sister along all the time."
"Once she’s out she enjoys our activities. I love my SIL, all three of them, but so glad I married the one like me. The mirror part even goes for looks, when I see my wife’s reflection I see my SIL, it’s weird sometimes. Also, attitude and personality are everything, I have never been 'attracted' to her twin."
redbonecouchhound
The Look
Sexy Damon Wayans Jr GIF by Global TVGiphy"I used to date an identical twin. Although I found his brother objectively handsome, I wasn't attracted to him at all. It was cool to directly experience how attraction goes far beyond just the looks."
Liatessa
I've never been intrigued by twins, and now I never will be.
