Love is a tricky mistress.
Especially when you have a mistress.
Making that choice to be with someone forever is not a game.
That is why you have a preparation period.
That is the time when things get real.
Redditor qquackiewanted to hear about the times when people knew "goodbye" was the right answer. They asked:
"Redditors who broke up with their fiancés, what made you go from wanting to spend the rest of your life with them to not wanting to be with them at all?"
I have never been engaged. I hear it's a hoot. Until it's not...
HIMPeace Out Goodbye GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"He relapsed on drugs and then told me all of our relationship problems were my mental health."
"Caught her butt naked with some random dude when we were supposed to meet up at a friend's home for a get together and I caught her in the spare bedroom while everyone else was hanging out and drinking, queue floodgates and find out she cheated on me up to double digit times and all the people at that friends get together knew she cheated on me often. Cut off all my friends and traumatized me for a long time but I’m better now."
“wait it out”
"He was my best friend and I really enjoyed our relationship. Honestly I hold no bad feelings for him. But he had a tendency to avoid communication when angry/sad/upset. At first it seemed like a minor problem I could adjust to but the passive aggressiveness and silent treatment(that he could manage for days on end) started to get to me."
"I felt like it was a form of control. He never accepted my apologies, never apologized himself, and would just 'wait it out' until he was ready to talk again. Then he’d just skip the fight and talk normal like it didn’t happen. So basically no issue we ever had was actually addressed and I was afraid to ever cause a confrontation because I knew it would be unresolved."
"It made me feel like I couldn’t fully trust him and the idea of doing that for life stopped be appealing."
"I was engaged for a hot second when I was 19. I came home to find him doing another girl. I immediately moved out and then found out via facebook that the girl was 4 months pregnant with his baby. He proposed to me when his baby mama was 3 months pregnant and he knew she was pregnant with his kid. It just blows my mind lol."
Thiefjulie newmar catwoman GIFGiphy
"She decided her future was in a different country, took our savings with her."
Why is love so elusive? Why can't people be honest?
“what did you do today?”Dog Talking GIFGiphy
"She wouldn’t tell me where she was all day one day. And I’m not the controlling type. But she wouldn’t even answer an innocuous 'what did you do today?' question. By the time this all came to a head, it turned out she was on a date with another guy."
"She went through a terrible, just truly terrible mental breakdown, leading to an eventual diagnosis. I did everything I could to keep her together, but it wasn't enough. At the end of it all I told her that I was going to stick it out, I'd do my best to work with her, but she HAD to listen to her doctors."
"She had to take all the advice she was given, she had to take her meds, she had to accept she had a mental illness and she had to deal with it. And she didn't. So when she lost her mind, for the umpteenth time, and told me to get out and not come back, I took her up on her offer."
"Some people call me an a**hole for that decision. But I'm not going to subject myself to 50 years of abuse and misery on behalf of someone who won't do the first thing to take care of themselves."
"When I found out he saw me merely as a way to get into the US and as a meal ticket. Called off the wedding 9 days before it was supposed to happen. Best decision I ever made. More than a year later, he contacted me and attempted to blackmail me, not knowing I was by that time working as a defense contractor with a security clearance, which meant I had to report the attempt to the FBI, thus getting him AND his relatives in the US into serious trouble."
"I had a boyfriend while teaching abroad in Korea for a few years. We were planning to get married and he was going to come back to US with me. At the last second he told me he couldn’t do it and I came back alone. He’s great and I love him still but we just want different things for our future."
"gift for me"Deadpool Venom GIF by MarvelGiphy
"He spent an entire paycheck, MY paycheck, on Pop Figures. As a 'gift for me' when they were all his favorite characters. Took a hard look at how often this type of thing was happening and realized I didn't want to raise an adult baby."
When in Florida
"I caught him in two major lies as his mental health declined. He turned to alcohol and became verbally abusive. I told myself 'the next time it happens I’m out' and it did… at our friends wedding in Florida (I’m from Canada). The wedding party saw the fallout from the fight and a bridesmaid I met an hour earlier told me he cheated at the bachelor party months earlier."
"After seeing his abusive nature she decided that I needed to know the truth. The cherry on top was that the day he cheated was the day I bought my wedding dress. I know I dodged a major bullet but that’s the thing about emotional abuse. It’s insidious. Deep down you know it’s wrong but you also doubt whether you’re being a good partner and abandoning someone in need."
"I’ve moved on and am MUCH MUCH happier. I wake up everyday and am thankful it’s over. I’m almost done my PhD as well, so that’s lovely! Classic 'I went to sleep and this blew up overnight' but thank y’all so much for your kind words and awards. I hope you all have a beautiful day!"
"I was going to be the black sheep of her very religious family for the rest of my life. I'm imperfect, but no more than most. I just don't believe what their family believed and even though I won her affections and spent years trying to earn trust with everyone; I was always going to be a pariah and it weighed too much on me."
"He broke the first engagement. We were very young and he broke it off because his friends didn't like me and convinced him to break up. We got back together a bit later and resumed the engagement like idiots. But with a new ring, cuz that made it better somehow."
"6 months later I broke it off because it dawned on me that if he's willing to dump me because his buddies don't like me, what's marriage or babies going to be like? My mom had told me once that love was rough when the money is tight and they turn the lights off, will you feel strong enough to get through it with them."
"I broke it off for good when I realized there's no way I saw him as my partner I wanted to face life with. When things got hard, he wasn't going to be anything but a child about it and I would be alone. He was engaged and married sometime later and ended up exactly as I thought. They divorced and he was remarried in a year, divorced in another 2 or 3. He was in love with the idea of being married , not actual marriage. Not a crazy drama story but that's it."
Just a LittleAudrey Whitby Reaction GIF by AwesomenessTVGiphy
"He tapped my phone (landline) and put a tracker on my car, and spyware on my laptop. Oh, and cut my brakes. Just a little."
"I was fresh out of high school and just found out I was pregnant. Getting married seemed like a good next step until he became extremely abusive. Took me a while but I finally got away from him for good. He ended up going to prison for murder a few years later. Dodged a bullet with that one."
"We got together in our early 20s and engaged a few years later. I called it off when I realized we didn't share a vision for the future, and I wasn't willing to compromise or ask her to. Hurt like hell but I'm so glad I did it - I don't actually think I wanted to be with her forever, it just kind of happened before I knew I could shape my life and be happy There were lots of other reasons we wouldn't have worked, looking back. But that one was enough."
"He changed a lot after we were engaged, not pulling his weight financially or around the house. Put an offer on a house without even asking me that was about an hour away from where it made sense for us to live (my job, my family etc), not to mention I had never even seen the home before he made the offer."
"Told me that he didn’t want to have children ever (first time I was hearing of that in 3.5 years) because if we were to divorce he’d have to pay me child support. His true colors came out the last 3 months of our relationship for sure. Definitely dodged a huge bullet with that one!!"
Oh Hell NoHell GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy
"When I met their family. No way in hell was that going to be the rest of my life."
Choose your regret...
"She changed in ways I didn’t like after I proposed. I brought it up on numerous occasions. She mocked me, denied it, and made lame excuses. I have one divorce under my belt already. I can’t go through that again. ETA: I’m eternally grateful this behavior shift happened after the proposal and not the wedding."'"
"OP, I’m guessing you’re asking because this is relevant in you’re life. No one here can help you figure it out, but there is a saying I like: 'Choose your regret.'"
Sometimes when it's over... it's over.
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The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.