Oh the Brits, they are a saucy and sassy bunch aren't they? They are far more free wheeling and fun with everyday language and conversation. Everyone else is so uptight and proper all of the time. Let's be more British. Of course then we'd never know if we were being insulted or congratulated; but that is half of the fun. Listening to the British people hurl insults is like a masterclass in subtle reading and rage combined. I've never been so insulted and simultaneously entertained.
Redditor u/Redditfrie wanted to discuss all those beautiful British slangs we love to bandy about by asking..... British people of reddit, what is the most british insult you can think of?BEWARE>>>>> Much of the content below isn't for the kiddies.
1-
french stereotypes GIF by CheezburgerGiphyKnob.
Also, consider some of the variations; knobhead, knob cheese, knob gobbler...
When I read in a recipe recently that called for a knob of butter, I immediately felt insulted. 😂
2-
My English boyfriend said "Screw off you coffin dodger!!" Meant to be shouted at old people.
Oh I'm gonna keep this one in my arsenal! Mostly because most old people where i live have no clue what it means.
3-
bike GIFGiphyJog on you tosser.
As a Brit, I don't hear this enough anymore.
Similarly: "on your bike, bellend!"
4-
You complete and utter twat.
Dunno if its an American thing or just in my area, but I've only ever heard it pronounced "twot" before. I could be wrong but I think in the movie Easy A its pronounced like that as well, but I don't know why that even comes to mind.
5-
angie imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphyWhat a numpty.
"That's my girlfriend, you numpty!!" Is my favorite Harry Potter quote.
6-
Do one you bloody pillock.
I'm American and I tried using the word "bloody" one time and my brother told me to STFU cause this wasn't Harry Potter. :(
7-
Enough Pulling Hair GIF by OriginalsGiphyYou're getting on my tits.
It's a cruder equivalent of 'you're getting on my nerves'. Said by guys and girls.
8-
Well, nearly anything can be a British insult when you put the word "Absolute" in front of a word.
For example, I could say: "You absolute doorknob" and it would sound like an insult!
Same goes for "complete and utter".
Eg: "you complete and utter muppet".
Also: muppet.
9-
Neo Yokio Giant Toblerone GIF by walter_GiphyThe Scottish do this really well.
I was working in Scotland last year and standing at the bar in a hotel. It was quite busy, and they were a bit drunk and loud.
The guy at the back keeps pushing his mate, telling him to move forward when he turned and said "I canny occupy tah same space as him you Toblerone".
I laughed so hard I nearly cried!
10-
Reminds me of a Michael Macyntire (I think?) bit where he suggested anything can be used to replace "drunk" when you're British.
"We got proper bungalowed last night."
"Jessica was completely and utterly side tabled yesterday."
11-
crazy homer simpson GIFGiphyMy friend calls people "absolute watermelons" and I love it.
You don't really even have to put anything after absolute.
"OH you ABSOLUTE.... trails off in disappointment*
Pat-Pat
Was at a limmy book reading a couple of years back where a bunch of drunk teens kept shouting it out loud for no reason. Everyone round them were just telling them to shut it. I reckon it's gone from "heh, that's quite funny" to "freaking honking patter" in a lot of people's minds.
And you Ma?
Cocina Mauricio GIF by Avon MexicoGiphyYa dad sells Avon!
Yer da guards statues.
Under rated!
Rhymes with Jerk
What a berk. Not used as much nowadays but I still like it. Same with the insult "pleb".
Berk has fascinating origins. I believe it comes from Cockney Rhyming Slang (poetry) short for Berkshire Hunt... as in, C*nt.
So Berk is a totally mild and generally acceptable way of saying C**t.
My gran called my a bloody berk once. Great.
Treasonous Ways
bonnie gordon GIF by AlphaGiphyWhen I was angry at my mum once she tried making me a cuppa tea, so I took it and poured it down the sink.
Legally speaking, according to the magna carta you are no longer British after committing such an act.
Glassworks
Not seen window licker yet?
I know right. I'm so far down looking for it... and then I found you.
And just between us... my fave thing of the week was a photo of a frosted up windscreen with MONG written on in massive letters... and the caption, I can't believe someone just did this to my car... it took me 30 minutes to lick it off.
I hate myself for laughing.
Move Along
carpool karaoke adele GIFGiphySod off, you prat.
I love the phrase dozy prat, so add that and that's perfection.
Fur and Liquor
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.
There is some deeper meaning to this, hamsters breed indiscriminately and elderberries were commonly turned into booze...
Mags
can't wait meryl streep GIF by MauditGiphyI have an older Scottish friend who said her mother used to call everyone she didn't like a "bloody Maggie thatcher."
Loss of Nice
I'm not British, but I used to date a very prim and proper girl from Cambridgeshire.... she was embroiled in a feud with a workmate for a while during our relationship, and at one point things got so bad that they both stopped using "kind regards" at the end of emails and just switched to "regards." It was brutal.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.