Weddings are stressful by nature.
Though they're beautiful occasions, they require tons of planning months in advance, forcing the bride and groom to make fast decisions.
In the midst of all the pressure, a bride or groom's true personality may reveal itself. Sometimes the results aren't the most pleasant.
In one bride's case, she was placed in the tough position of choosing between pleasing her future in-laws or standing up for her friends.
According to one of her friends—who was supposed to be one of the bridesmaids—the bride made the wrong choice.
The former bridesmaid, Reddit user "SoggyWealth0," shared her story on the "Am I the A$$hole" subReddit, asking if she was wrong to react in the way she did after hearing of the bride's decision.
The former bridesmaid shared:
"My friend Kelly is getting married next Saturday. She asked myself and 3 other friends to be her bridesmaid, her sister as MOH. One of our friend Ellis is in a same sex relationship. Kelly seems to have no issues with it since she asked Ellis to be her bridesmaid and invited Ellis' partner as a guest to the wedding."
"Well last night Kelly texted Ellis and told her she's no long a bridesmaid, she and her partner aren't welcome to the wedding. Ellis was confused and pressed for a reason. Turns out Kelly's FILs are furious "f**king gay sluts" are attending their wedding. It's a sacred place and dirty h*es have no business being there."
"Ellis calls me earlier this morning while my BF and I were sleeping. She was really upset and crying. I tried to comfort her the best I could and we are meeting up for dinner later. So I called Kelly and asked WTF is going on. She tells me it's no big deal, she's only missing a plate of food and she will make it up to her. She also has the nerve to tell me to ask Ellis to lend her the bridesmaid dress because she found someone to replace her. So it wouldn't look uneven at the wedding. It's such a hassle and last minute, if everyone would just be normal then this wouldn't happen. I pretty much lost it right there."
"I told her she's the s**ttiest piece of s**t I have ever met. She's just all into looks and I told her I am not going to the wedding either and hung up on her. My BF heard this all go down and texted the groom that's he's not going to be the best man either. My BF also told his friends about what happened and they are also not going to the wedding."
"The MOH calls me up and says I'm such a B***h that I ruined the wedding for Kelly and I'm just starting s**t up. I'm honestly glad I bowed out but I'm left wondering if I should've just kept to myself then confront Kelly after the wedding? Our tight group thinks i did nothing wrong but others said I shouldn't dictate who gets to go their wedding."
The former bridesmaid later updated her post on the subReddit page, stating that the situation wasn't all that it seemed to be.
It already would have been horrible if the bride chose her future in-law's preferences over defending her friend.
But as it turns out, the bride dramatically exaggerated what her future in-law's said. She chose to un-invite her friends from the wedding and remove her friend from the bridal party, on her own terms.
The former bridesmaid explained in the updated post:
"So yesterday was a huge s**t show. The groom, Eric came to the restaurant where we had dinner and apologized to Ellis. He also wanted to make a few things clear. He had no idea Kelly would go behind his back and tell Ellis and Anita (her partner) they aren't welcome to the wedding. And most importantly, his parents didn't say any of those things."
"His father made an off hand comment which translates to 'what's a good girl like Ellis doing with another woman?' His mother said 'children these days think different.' Kelly took it upon herself to interpret that her future-in-laws meant they hated homosexuals. FILs weren't furious and never said Ellis and Anita aren't welcome to the wedding. Kelly and a few of us speak that dialect fluently, there's no way she didn't understand exactly what Eric's parents said."
"The wedding is called off as Eric wants to step back and think if Kelly is the right match for him."
The former bridesmaid also explained that all of the bride's behavior may have come to light out of pure jealousy.
She continued in her update:
"Anita tells us Kelly has been very passive aggressive towards her and Ellis for the past few weeks. Anita said she thought it was the stress of the wedding so Kelly was acting up. I think it's also because Anita and Ellis are getting married at the end of the year."
"We live in a country where gay marriage is non existent. In fact if you are LGBTQ, you as a person don't exist. Ellis and Anita have talked about going to Canada or Taiwan to get their marriage license and holding a mini banquet back in our country. Someone suggested we all go to Taiwan for a mini vacation and they can have a small wedding there."
"We have been talking non stop about this for the past month. Tbh we were talking about the vacation rather than the wedding since it's the first time most of us have traveled there. Kelly is probably jealous that Ellis upstaged her."
"Either way, Ellis and I feel incredibly guilty for how it all went down. We've known Kelly for over a decade and we don't want to see her go down in flames. It's a pity that a friendship had to end this way over a single day."
The response from the Reddit community was a unanimous "no," that the former bridesmaid was not being a jerk for choosing to step out of the bridal party in favor of supporting her friend.
They were quick to point out that her friends, Ellis and Anita, being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, already don't have enough support. By taking a stand and stepping out of the wedding, she showed unconditional love and support for her friends and their unfair removal from the wedding celebration.
Not to mention the bride's decision to use her future in-laws as a cover story for a decision she was making alone; lying and putting words in someone else's mouth is never a good look.
"NTA. Go you for sticking up for your friend. And your bf too. And your friends are ah for saying you're dictating who can and can't go, people make up their own minds about that and you are all right to not go." - flagg6805
"Thank you thank you thank you!! As a gay person this means so much to me. News flash! if you're dating someone/marrying someone who's homophobic that still makes you the a$hole. I'm so happy these people immediately shut that s**t down. It's not always a homophobic bashing that people are most worried about when it comes to homophobia. It's this type. The 'I need to be accommodating for people who 'don't believe in homos'' type."
"I get the s**t beat out of me. At least I know it's cause the person was a d**k. This girl is now just showing her true colors. When it gets right down to it, she'd rather side with the homophobes than her own friend. That's betrayal and almost worse. She's essentially endorsing her in laws beliefs." - majorminor51
"Agree 100% You are perfectly modeling what to do when presented with evidence that someone in your life is an unrepentant bigot. Not only are you NTA - you did good!" - VaalbarianMan
"Add to that, her statement ((if everyone would just be normal then this wouldn't happen)) Says it all. You do not say something like that if you truly accept your friends for who they are." - Kittinlily
It's too soon to tell what will happen with Eric and Kelly's relationship, but clearly they have some things to work out before they move forward. Including, but certainly not limited to, inviting almost an entirely new wedding party.
