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Boyfriend Catches GF Worsening Her Injuries For Sympathy, And Seeks Advice

Millions of people struggle with self-harm every single day. Their reasons are as varied and unique as they are. it's a dangerous tendency that people absolutely can overcome, but it requires a lot of work and support. Having said that, the self-harming person has to be willing to accept that help.

What do you do when you catch a loved one hurting themselves but they refuse to acknowledge it?

That's the position one Reddit found himself in when he posted asking for advice:

My girlfriend Lacy and I have been dating 2 years. She's a lovely person and we make a great couple.
Two weeks ago Lacy and I went downhill skiing. I'm an experienced skier and she had only been once before. I admit I pushed her abilities and lo and behold, she wiped out pretty hard. She wasn't seriously hurt or anything and got right back up with a smile on her face.
Her legs got pretty bruised up from the fall (she was wearing only thin workout leggings since it was quite warm out). It looks like someone splashed green paint on her, if that makes sense. And she has a particularly nasty big purple one on her thigh.
Lacy has always been the type to show off injuries. For as long as I've known her she has always showed me even the tiniest of bruises either for sympathy or attention (like she would say it was shaped as Texas or something). She has some body image issues and I know that she really likes the attention so I will usually give it to her no problem.
Yesterday though I came home from work early (power went out at my building). I walked in pretty quietly as I usually do and went straight to our bedroom. I could hear music coming from it and wanted to greet her.
I basically opened the door and saw her with a hammer in her hands mid hit. The hammer hit her bruised leg the moment I walked in. It was absolutely surreal and I admit - I freaked out a bit. I went to her and took the hammer and started asking her what she was doing?
She freaked out right back and told me that she was rubbing the blood vessels or something to make the bruises go away faster. I knew this was bullshit right away since you don't "rub" by smacking yourself with a fricken hammer.
She left after I told her I didn't believe her and texted me shortly after to say she was going home for a few days.
I sat down on the bed with that hammer in my hands for like an hour completely floored. I know it sounds crazy but she hit herself hard. I've seen those bruises every day and now that I've seen her do this I am thinking that it was weird that they haven't gotten even the slightest bit lighter despite it being two weeks now.
I know she has some issues but I would never have thought she would hurt herself.
Reddit, I'm freaked out. She will be back tomorrow. How do I talk to her about this?

Users were surprisingly open with their responses. People gave advice and even shared stories of their own self-harming experiences. If that sort of thing is difficult or triggering for you to read, you may want to move on to another article. For the rest of you, here are some of the top responses. Some have been edited for content or clarity.

Parents Help

I am 45. I can tell you from experience and seeing it many times. Telling her parents will help her if she is inclined to accept advice and help from her parents. However, your relationship will take a hit. Especially if she truly believes her self harm is not a big deal and is deluding herself. You may be seen as someone that is willing to turn her in. In a word, betrayal.

The most important thing is to talk to her substantively before you tell her parents.

If she does seek professional help that should lesson any possible feelings of betrayal. If she knows she has a problem and her initial reaction of being caught was just knee-jerk denial to save face, you will have an easier time in your relationship if you do tell her parents. Particularly so if her parents support her in getting help and she is welcoming of it.

Best of luck and wishing you the best.

- ALulzyApprentice

So Much Attention

I remember when I was younger I loved being ill, and I was jealous of my brother who had all sorts of health problems and he got so much attention for it (but he didn't get ALL the attention, my parents loved me and my brothers equally which is why it's odd that I did these things). If I ever got sick I loved being put on medication because I'd get more special attention for it. I'd also do stupid stuff like eating raw chicken in the hopes of getting salmonella. I think for me it came down to extremely low self esteem which is in my opinion probably the same for this guy's girlfriend.

- helpmethrow2123

Be Understanding

I've done this before. I make injuries worse or create injuries specifically with a hammer. I didn't think many people did that. On this thread there are some people who think she's doing it for attention others are jumping to Munchhausen's or self harming. It doesn't really matter which of these it is - she needs help. But more than anything she needs you to be understanding right now.

When I do it there is no reason. I can't actually explain it and if you ask me why I would say it was because I had to. So when you bring it up support her talk to her and don't treat her like there is something disgusting or unfixable about her. Having someone talk to you, pay attention to you, and treat you like a normal human being goes a long way even without psychiatric help.

- MaybeSteve

Bittersweet

When I was ~20 I was with a girl who had an eating disorder, which I witnessed getting worse, but which she denied.

I was young and quite unsure how to handle it myself, so I spoke to her parents about it. It wasn't a mistake, and I don't regret it, because they took the right steps and she has since got a lot better, but she never really trusted me again after that, and it destroyed our relationship.

Very bittersweet for me, because I loved her oh so much and it tore us apart, but at the same time telling her parents meant that she got the help she needed.

- Reddit

Center Of Attention

When I was about 11 I hurt my ankle playing soccer and had to wear a leg brace. At the time I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I was shy and had very few friends but everyone would come up to ask about it. I was the centre of attention and I loved it. I would go out of my way to try and make it worse so that the attention would continue. This included things like hitting it.

It sounds like your girlfriend has some self esteem issues. In your post you mentioned how you give her quite a bit of attention when she is injured and how she goes out of her way to show you. This is probably adding to the problem. She is probably embarrassed that she has gotten caught and is doing her best to deny it happened. Unfortunately, I am not too sure what you can do. I grew out of it as I became an adult and less obsessed with what other people thought but it was a long process.

Don't back down in the situation though. Be firm (not mean though) about what you have seen and let her know that you are concerned about her. She needs to know that it is unacceptable and dangerous. She may continue to deny. I would suggest asking if she would considering seeing a therapist with you. If you talk to her parents you might want to ask them for advice versus "telling" on her. I am not suggesting you would do that but I just don't want it to seem like you are ganging up on her. If you can't get her to admit to it then you might have to reconsider you relationship. It is sad but if she refuses help, let alone the fact that there is a problem, then you can't do much.

- ChickenPeeps

Beyond Your Expertise

I think you need to ask yourself do you want to help her or do you want to enable her? I used to be like your girlfriend, and I honestly did it for attention and sympathy. Eventually, I grew out of it but I do live with triggers every time I hurt myself. However, your girlfriend could have some serious self-esteem issues that go beyond your expertise or beyond it just being a phase.

Sit her down, tell her you care about her, but what's she's doing to herself is not healthy or okay. She may flip out, but stay patient. If she admits everything, then wonderful; find her some help. If she denies denies denies, you need to think really hard what's best for you because her problem may become an even bigger one that leads to consequences for you.

- allfor1

Encourage Her To Get Help

You poor thing, it's very sad that you had to witness this, and now have to bare with the burden of seeing it.

Your girlfriend certainly sounds as if she's a self-harmer. It comes in all forms; not simply 'cutting' yourself. As you've said, she receives attention from injuries, which gives her affirmation and sympathy, making her feel cared for.

How very sad, to want to hurt yourself in order to feel good from the responses. How sad also, that you must feel responsible for how to fix this.

My only advice is to firstly, never give her attention for any future injuries, no matter how minor. It's unfortunately fuelling and enabling her greatly. Do not be her enabler, as her boyfriend you are her main source of attention.

Then start teaching her how to love herself naturally for who she is, not from self-infliction. Slowly, subtly...hold her, love her. Don't feel as if you need to give her extra attention, though.

Mainly, try to encourage her to get help. Someone professional to talk to; even the suggestion itself will possibly help her see fit. Just try your hardest not to enable a single act she does further.

- mollypop94

Cold And Practical

I'm fully expecting to be down voted to oblivion for being a cold and vicious a$$hole but I hope you at least read this advice.

This is sad and difficult and sounds like something she's going to be dealing with, or fighting, for the rest of her life. Regardless of whether or not she gets help, and regardless of whether or not the help actually helps, stuff like this doesn't just disappear completely. The underlying whatever that was a part of her her, making her self harm, doesn't get chopped out of the brain. Wouldn't you want to know that you could trust someone even at their most stressed or needy?

This is harsh but I've seen how the people on this site write about their mental illnesses. It sounds like nothing that I would ever want to deal with--normal people aren't constantly triggered by things. It is exhausting dealing with people with Problems with a capital p. And what if you have kids? Neurotic people don't just come to be from their environment, it's genetic too. You can spot certain trends in families and some people and families are bad at dealing with the things that life throws at them. What breaks one person will not break another. I'd rather be with the latter than the former.

You can give it any word you want--sensitive, troubled, delicate--but some people are not strong when life throws them curve balls. That's just how it is. Everyone has a certain threshold for handling stress and I personally wouldn't want to be with someone with such a weak threshold. Hitting herself with a hammer? Jesus H. Christ.

I'm not being empathetic here. I'm being cold. But in a real sense, you have to be practical. She sounds like the last person that I would ever want to trust. I have family members who have Problems and, while the hand that life dealt them sucks and I can empathize with them to a point, you should see what a royal fuckup they make of their lives and the lives of the people around them. I'm speaking from the perspective of that experience, btw. It's kind of turned me off of people with mental problems because all I have seen them do is take. There's not much give. That in itself might be part of the illness, but pretending that a mental illness isn't part of someone is like me pretending that my extra bony and weird-looking backbone isn't a part of me too.

I don't think I would date a person whose entire family had cancer, either. It's too much of a risk.

- ALivingSaint_tm

Seek Help

Please seek help for her, if you love her and want to stay with her, support her. I have a person in my life that did this type of thing, her boyfriend ignored it. They got married and got pregnant. During the pregnancy she was constantly I'll, due to whatever she was ingesting for attention.

Once the baby was born the baby started having sicknesses. She was giving the child something to make it sick. All to get attention.

Seek help for her and yes, tell her parents.

- dreamtakerhomemaker

Punishing Myself

I used to do this. I was very ill with un-diagnosed clinical depression and psychosis, and it was my way of dealing with the pain and showing everyone I could "handle" physical pain. It was also a way of punishing myself for how ungrateful and sh!tty I was feeling. This girl absolutely needs professional help. She is not OK. It puts you in a really tough situation, but I really hope you're able to help her see that this behavior isn't normal and go get some help together.

- lexjac


H/T: Reddit

From Your Site Articles

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

woman wearing mask
Photo by Sandra Seitamaa on Unsplash

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

– RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

– monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

weird traits

People Who Actually Died And Were Revived Share Their Experiences

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

​Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

back from the dead

People Explain Which Overly Hyped Foods They Just Don't Understand

Pesto salad bowl
Photo by Eaters Collective on Unsplash

We all have our favorite foods, food preferences, and even foods that we don't like.

But there are some popular foods out there that just don't make sense. Nonetheless, we keep seeing them advertised, included in movies and TV shows, and of course, our loved ones ordering them while we look on in confusion.

Curious about others' food preferences, Redditor YarnSpectre asked:

"What's one food everyone seems to go crazy for, but you just don't understand the hype?"

So Much Sugar

"Nutella. It’s just okay."

- Former-Finnish-4653

"Way too sweet for me, I’d probably love it with one-fifth of the sugar."

"Unfortunately that's true of a lot of desserts, though. Most would benefit from a cut of at least 25 percent of the sugar."

- Mindful-O-Melancholy

Not-So-Chocolate Cake

"Red velvet cake. I've had ones that were supposed to be excellent but it's just red cake."

- dedmuse22

"Most red velvet cakes are just s**tty vanilla cake with red food coloring. Get one (or make one) the correct way with non-Dutch-processed cocoa powder, buttermilk, and vinegar. It's an incredibly smooth, very different type of chocolate cake."

- whiskeyclone630

Mastery Makes a Difference

"Those multicolored cookie things that everyone was making into cakes or something for a while? Macaroons? Macarons? I don't think I've ever had one that tasted good. They're pretty, but that's it."

- TensionShift9576

"Macarons. I never cared for them either."

"I had one yesterday at a potluck, homemade ones. They were seriously something else, with some sort of butter cream and jelly inside. Never had anything quite like it. Now I wish I had grabbed a few to take home."

"I still won't eat store-bought ones, though."

- Totally-A-Banana

The Wrong Kind of Spice

"Hot Cheetos or Takis. Anything with the artificially colored spicy powder."

- jadziasonrie

"Takis texture is my issue. They’re like semi-stale rolled-up Doritos."

- addvalue2222

The Sugar Cookies of the Midwest

"Those dry-a** Walmart sugar cookies."

- ComiNotub

"They taste like play-dough cookies came to life."

- Significant_Potato29

For Garnish

"I mean, people go crazy in both directions, but cilantro. There’s the whole 'does it taste like soap or not' thing, but it’s usually presented as 'people either think it tastes like soap or they find it amazing.'"

"I am neither. It doesn’t taste like soap to me, but I also don’t love it. Meh."

- Whiteums

"I don't think it tastes like soap, but I do think it tastes weirdly metallic. I don't go out of my way to avoid it in pre-prepared food, but I usually leave it out of things I'm preparing myself."

- caffeinated-tea

Fancy Decor Only

"People like how fondant LOOKS. I refuse to believe a single soul wants to EAT it."

- sorandom21

"It's like eating a candied raincoat."

- BlueShirtGuy

Back for a Limited Time

"Every time it comes back, I’m SUPER excited for the McRib at McDonald's. I bite into one and then… the spongey texture hits me and makes me remember why I don’t need to buy it ever again."

"Then, somehow, McRib season rolls around again two years later, and there I am in line…"

- the_yellow_jello

"I'm convinced this is why they only bring it out every once in a while. Nobody actually likes it, but they wait just long enough for you to forget that it's no good and then hit you with a combo of nostalgia and 'limited time only' FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)."

- FiveAlarmFrancis

A Seasonal Tradition

"Pumpkin spice. It’s fine, but absolutely not anything to make a fuss about."

- AdMaterial9419

"There is a car parts place in a small town I drive through to visit family, and last year on their reader board, they had: 'THEYRE BACK! PUMPKIN SPICE BRAKE PADS.'"

"And now I can never see anything pumpkin spice and not think about it, might have been my favorite reader board sign ever."

- deadcomefebruary

Pure Caffeine Addiction

"Energy drinks like Red Bull or Monster."

- DishIntelligent5645

"I'm an avid Monster drinker, but I totally get it. I'm always trying new and interesting energy drinks I see, but so much of it is just garbage."

"The white Monster tastes like 90s Fresca to me and is the only energy drink I love."

- broniesnstuff

Overly-Complicated Drinks

"Can it be a beverage? Because I kind of hate IPAs but everyone else seems to love them. And I like beer, just not IPAs."

- AngelOvTeOdd

"I have nothing against people who want complex beers. It's just not for me. I want an easy as f**k to drink fizzy yellow beer for when it's hot out. And a nice smooth stout for all other times. When I want more complex flavors, I'll go for wine or scotch."

- I_will_be_me_Arsenal

Just Too Expensive

"What about lobster? I can dig it with drawn butter and I ain’t mad at it. But f**k me if I’m gonna pay $29.99 for a lobster. I’d rather eat shrimp."

- nosaj23e

Questionable Value

"Truffles. I paid $60 this weekend at an Italian restaurant for eight slivers on my pasta shaved in front of me. I barely tasted anything. I don't get the hype."

- heybuddy

Improved Gut Health?

"Kombucha."

- Tiny_Wasabi2476

"Ah, yes, dirty pond water."

- meteorguy

Rich Tastes

"Caviar."

- malYca

"Everyone goes crazy for caviar? Most people seem to dislike it."

"Though admittedly, people who do like it tend to like it a lot."

"That all being said, I really don't like it, either."

- Heathen_Mushroom

When it comes to food, to each their own, but it was interesting to see some undeniable fan favorites like pumpkin spice hit this list.

It just serves as a great reminder for a larger picture idea: Don't be unkind about the things that might bring someone else joy.

popular foods

People Who've Lost Weight Break Down What Surprised Them Most

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.

health