Anyone who has worked in a customer facing position has had to deal with a customer demanding a manager at least once. Sometimes, they have a valid concern, and it's just something that's out of your hands. Often, though, they're misinformed or just upset and making everyone's lives more difficult.
I'm sure most of us have fantasized about telling off a rude customer or two but, in the interest of keeping our jobs, we keep these thoughts to ourselves. These Redditors, however, were in the position to receive some vindication. Instead of having to call out a manager to tell the customer exactly the same thing they'd just said, they were the manager.
Reddit user forrestJump1 asked:
"What was your best 'You're speaking to the manager right now' moment?"
These responses will warm the heart of many a frustrated customer service employee.
Some responses have been edited for content/clarity.
Sure I Can Get The Manager
Friend of mine: She was getting chewed out over something or other, finally the woman loudly demanded to see the manager. So she shrugged and got the manager.
Manager comes out all confused. Angry woman demands my friend get fired. Manager is very confused "But Ma'am, I can't do that... she is the owner"
When They're Out, They're Out
Giphy10 years ago I was a retail manager for Bath and Body Works. One day during holiday a customer began going off on one of my seasonal employees. Like psychotically screaming at her because we were out of Peppermint Twist body lotion. I walked up and asked the girl to go cover registers and that I would talk to the customer. Customer began yelling at me. After another 5 minutes of insisting it was in the back.
Her “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!!”
Me “Miss, I am the manager on duty. This is a popular item. We have none in the back. None of our other stores in the area have anymore. You are welcome to look online but I doubt it is there anymore either. Have a lovely day.”
She turned purple and asked for our customer service number to complain.
It was December 24...
Deputy Andy To The Rescue
I own the building that the company I'm part owner in operates out of. It's in a nice office park with about a dozen other similarly sized stand alone office buildings. We have a dumpster that gets emptied twice a week that sits behind/on the side of our building that has a nice fence around it - the way it sits the parking lot of another building is close to it.
I'm ripping out carpet at my house and each night run by work and dispose some of it (we're not running production that week so there's nothing in the dumpster). On the third and last night before trash comes the next day, I notice a guy smoking by his car at the other office. As I'm getting ready to leave a car comes screeching up the side drive puts his brights on and yells at me to stay where I am.
I pause and it's the same guy and starts yelling at me that he's calling the cops he saw me dumping trash into the dumpster. I asked him what he cares and he said he's on special patrol for this company (the one I'm an owner of and would be in charge of hiring anyone as it is) and I'm in violation and need to remain there. I asked him who he talked to and he said "I don't know his last name but his name is Fred". We have never had a Fred work there.
So he's blocking my exit and I start hearing a siren. This guy says something like "here they come now you're screwed!" so I just sit there another minute. In rolls a county brownie with his lights on he comes strolling up and then says "Hey, what's up?" I said "Hey Andy I'm not sure but this guy here is trespassing on my property". His face at this point gets sheet white.
No I didn't press charges even if you could, but I didn't see him around again. I don't know if he was confused, mentally challenged, he sure seemed to have a short fuse. Officer Andy did take his info though I think more to scare the guy then anything else.
You Can Call Me Colonel
Back when I was in the Air Force there was a base picnic. I was put on the crew to get things set up. This task was finished, and we were just standing around bullsh*tting waiting for people to show up.
A young-looking guy (turns out he was in his 40s, but legitimately looked 25) walks up and starts talking to us. He introduced himself as the new Operations Group commander, and was a Colonel-select. He'd literally arrived on base that very morning, and heard about the picnic.
A couple minutes later, our boss (a Major) shows up and walks over to us. He said, "Hey guys I think the new OG might be here today. Be on your best behavior because I heard he's a real @sshole."
We all stared at him in horror. The OG just smiled, stuck out his hand and said, "Hi. I'm the @sshole, but you can call me Colonel."
Don't Gossip At Parties
I was invited to a birthday party at a remote acquaintance's place. She introduced me to her husband and tried to start a conversation by "you two work in the same field!" So the husband started to talk about his work, while I asked polite questions. Then he started to badmouth about a competitor of the place he worked at. He would claim there was "something shady" about the company, how they would scam customers and can not be trusted. First I asked, where he got his apparent insider knowledge from. When he couldn't name a source I looked at him and said: "No problem buddy, just take the opportunity to ask anything you'd like to fact check, as you are currently talking to the owner of the company!"
The conversations around us literally stopped, and a very awkward silence followed, which I ended by politely saying goodbye.
Good Morning, Councilor
I got a parking ticket a few months ago. When I was waiting in line to pay it I started talking to the lady next to me. Apparently she just got fined under a new ordinance for keeping her work van parked in the street for a month. She was ranting and raving about how the city has become “Nazi Germany” because of laws like this. “Those city councilors are b*stards! How dare they!” I quietly listened and nodded.
Well, I’m on the city council and I helped write that ordinance. We have it in place because people like her keep their cars in front of peoples driveways and make it impossible for them to pull out in the morning.
When I went to the cashier and was greeted with “Good Morning, Councilor” her jaw nearly dropped.
The "Real" Technician
I used to be a cell phone tech in a retail store. We weren't employed by the main company, we were contracted through another company, so our manager hierarchy was separate. I was the only tech on one night, which made me the acting tech manager. I am a woman.
A guy came in and was immediately belligerent wanting his phone fixed, came up to the tech counter. The conversation went something like this:
Me: How can I help you?
Him: My phone is broken I need to talk to the technician.
Me: I'm the technician, what's wrong with your phone?
Him: No, I need to talk to the tech out back.
Me: I'm the only technician on tonight.
Him: No, I mean the guy in the back who fixes the phones.
Me: I *am* the "guy" out back who fixes the phones.
Him: Why won't you let me talk to the real technician? You can't fix this.
Me: (opened the window to the back to show him it's empty) I'm the only *technician* here tonight. What's going on with your phone?
Him: You're being very rude right now, I want to talk to your manager!
Me: My manager is not in right now, I'm the acting technical support manager. How can I help you?
Him: I need to speak to someone above you right now!
Me: There's nobody above me available right now, you'll have to wait until tomorrow during daytime hours.
Him: I don't have time for that! I work for a living!
Me: So do I. As a technician.
Him: I'm not leaving until I talk to someone!
Me: I can get the store manager for you.
Him: Yes! Go get HIM! HE will take care of me! How f*cking stupid can you get, that's what I've wanted!
Me: Ok, I will go get the store manager. (I did, she was also a woman)
Him: Who's this? I wanted the store manager.
Manager: I am the store manager, sir.
Him: She won't let me talk to the technician! (Pointing at me)
Manager: She is the technician, sir.
Him: Well she can't fix my phone!
Manager: (to me) Could we not fix his phone?
Me: He wouldn't tell me what's wrong with it, I don't know yet if we can fix it or not.
Manager: (to him) What's wrong with the phone?
Him: (defeated at this point) It's not sending texts, it's defective, I need a new one.
Manager: (to me) Can we fix that?
Me: Yes, it's a known issue with that model. It just needs a software update, should only take about 10-20 minutes.
Him: Yeah, like *software* is going to do that!
Me: Will you let me try it?
Him: Ok, fine, *try* it. But when it doesn't work I want a new phone!
Me: (updated the software, it worked) Ok, it's been updated successfully and I backed up your contacts and photos so they're all still there. I tested the texting and it's working now. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Him: Took you long enough! And you're very rude!
Me: Ok.
He Does All The Jobs
GiphyNot me, but one of my best friends really made it at a young age already. He's in the hotel business – was night receptionist during college, became F&B manager, moved to assistant general manager, became general manager of one hotel, of two hotels, and then went on to the board of directors of a hotel chain. Mid sized. He was something like director of sales so had to deal with customer complaints occasionally if it got up high enough. Since the chain was not that big, next to his job as sales director he was also the general manager of a smaller hotel that served as his office as well. One day he is planning on heading home around 5 pm when he gets notified that the night receptionist is ill and won't make it – and the day receptionist is leaving for a two weeks holiday after his shift ends. Now since night receptionist has certain responsibilities, not anyone can do it, and they don't find a replacement. So my friend, being on the board of directors, sighs and accepts that he will have to do it for one night, they will work something out for the next days. Mind you, he was only 32 or 33 at that time and has quite the baby face.
Of course somewhere during the evening someone shows up for a late check in. Hotel is fully booked due to some conference nearby. The late arrival has no reservation. Tough luck. But no; he is 100% sure that he has a reservation. My friend checks the system and indeed, he does have a reservation, for the next day/night. Booked online about 5 minutes ago. My friend explains that he is more than welcome the next day but that he cannot help him this evening and tries to give him other options nearby. The dude is not having this and is accusing my friend of being at fault, he has a reservation so he should get a room, it's not his fault the hotel overbooked. As these things go, he asks to speak to the manager.
Now my friend can be a real prick when he is done with your sh*t so he pulls the old "I will get the duty manager for you!", walks through a door, turns around, walks in the reception again and shakes the hand of the guest, presenting himself as the duty manager. Of course, dude throws a fit and gets even madder. "I want to speak to the real manager!". My friend shows him the board that says "General Manager: \[friendsname\]" and asks if he should get the general manger, mister \[friendsname\]. Dude says he better damn well should do that. OF course my friend happily repeats his trick with the door and comes back, pointing at his name tag and explaining that he is the GM of the hotel. Dude storms out shouting that he will write a complaint about this.
Now stuff like this has happened before and most of the time it ends here, but this guy went as far as really writing a complaint and beginning said complaint with demanding that the complaint is sent to higher management immediately and not handled by the GM of the hotel. So of course, the complaint ends up at the desk of the Sales director of the chain. Who, of course, is my friend all the same!
He actually wrote him back a nice reply explaining that the hotel really was fully booked and that the guest by mistake chose the wrong date (of course it was no mistake just a guy hoping that creating a fuzz would land him a room), that the hotel was very sorry and he gave him a 10% discount on his next booking. All this signed by "[friendname], receptionist, duty manager, general manager, director of sales of [hotel chain]".
Always Know Who You're Complaining To
I was working a a receptionist in a hotel in Sydney. I was sitting in the smoking area on my break. New guy - dressed in the same ill fitting plastic suit uniform as me - comes by and sits down. We start chatting... He tells me that it`s his first day on the job and that he is working somewhere in administration. He asked a lot about the hotel, my work place, possible improvements and things like that. My mind must have been somewhere else, because I answered all of his questions without realizing that he was taking notes. I got into quite a rant to be honest. My rant ended with:"We are getting a new general manager soon. Hope he is not @sshole and I hope he starts fixing this place."
That´s when the guy started smiling and asked me if I thought he was an @sshole. That´s when I realized that the new admin guy was actually our new GM.
To be fair: He really was quite nice and we shared many a cigarette during breaks :-)
It's Not All Bad
I used to work at an ice cream shop and on a night when we were short staffed, worked the line scooping ice cream with my team.
I was helping two women who were kinda standoffish and I was doing my best to make conversation and be friendly but it was a little awkward. (I had my customer service smile plastered to my face, and I knew I was a bit much but wanted to try and keep the energy up for my team.)
I got their scoops and sent them down to the register to pay and then was pulled to the back to handle a question from my team.
As soon as I get to the back the person on the register said "there is someone who wants to speak to you."
Knowing we were short staffed I took a deep breath because it was going to be someone complaining about the wait or something like that.
I walk out and it's the two women I just served. Uh oh.
They look at me and say, "YOU'RE the manager?" I put on my biggest customer service smile and say "Yes, I'm so sorry is there something I can help you with?"
"Oh well, this seems silly but we really wanted to commend you for being so bright and cheery. When we were waiting in line we saw you being so friendly with everyone... So uhm. Thanks?"
It was super awkward, so I laughed and thanked them and stood there awkwardly giggling/smiling because I don't know what else to do until they walked away.
I went back in the back and did dishes or something because I couldn't handle talking to people for at least 10 minutes. It was a roller coaster of emotion.
Coupon Conundrum
Customer was getting all angry about a coupon. Cashier called me over. Normally, I'd just let it slide and accept the coupon, but then she had the audacity to insult my cashier, claiming she was incompetent. So I denied it, cause f**k this lady. She got all pissy, demanded to talk to the manager.
"Sorry, the manager left for the day, but the supervisor is here."
"Well then, I want to speak to your supervisor," she hissed
"I am the supervisor," I said firmly. "This coupon is not valid."
"Fine!" She huffed and left her stuff at the counter, muttering about never shopping there again.
Cashier was a bit shaken up, but I'm not very good at consoling so I just said, "F**k her, we don't need her."
No, that's a good response. I'd be cheered up at that.
Hope You Didn't Need That Too Badly
I am the youngest person who works in my main office. I also happen to be the GM and part owner of the company.
Had someone come in, talking to one of the employees who has been here 28 years. This guy has a conniption about a warranty issue, asks for a manager. My guy comes and gets me, I go out there ask "how can I help?"
Guy says he needs a manager.
"Sir, I am the manager"
"Then I need the owner!"
"I am also the owner, what can I do for you?"
"I don't believe you!"
"Okay then. Employee, we are denying that warranty request, I'll let his management know what happened."
Chowder Racket
When I was 19 I was promoted to manager of the front of the house in this little seafood place I'd been working at since I was about 15. On the BOH (Back of House) manager's days off, I'd be the only manager there. This woman used to come in and order the clam chowder about once a week, eat it all, and then claim it was made differently than the last time and demand that it be comped. For some reason the previous manager always just did it. But it annoyed me that she was being rewarded for being dishonest since we had the same recipe and followed it exactly since the place had opened. I was just WAITING for her to try it on me and finally, she did.
I was the only manager there that day and sure enough one of the waitresses said she needed a comp for a table and there was the cheap@ss. I went over there and she told me "Last time you had all kinds of vegetables in this chowder! I'm not paying for it!" Bahahahaha! I was like, "Ma'am, we've been making that chowder the same way since the place opened and you know it as well as I do. So you can either pay for it like a decent person, or I can comp it and you are not welcome here ever again." Cue her demanding to see the manager. I nearly burst out in an evil villain style cackle when I informed her that she was looking at the manager. She tried to argue for a couple minutes and then finally gave up, paid, and never came back.
No, We Won't Bend The Rules Just For You
Ooh. I have one of these. Used to be a department supervisor for a library. Basically this meant I was third from the top in the system according to the org chart, and if my manager was gone then I was in charge of the building.
One day a lady is in our department complaining about some bit of policy. Can't remember what, but think an entitled suburban mom getting mad we won't bend policy for her. She finally demands to talk to my supervisor when I won't budge.
I smile. Tell her that's fine. Turn as though I'm going to get someone, but do a full twirl instead and hold out my hand. She looks at me like I'm nuts and I introduce myself as the supervisor and heard she had a problem.
The lady storms off to the front desk. A few minutes later one of the workers there comes back with this lady. Explains that she had a problem and wanted to talk to the person in charge. Which was me that day because my boss was out.
The look on her face when the front desk worker pulled her into the office to talk to the person in charge and I was sitting there grinning was delicious. I explained that we still wouldn't be changing our system policy just for her. Have a nice day.
Only time I've ever been able to do that, but it was fun.
Ignoring People Isn't The Way To Go
A salesman walks into the reception area where I happened to be. I ask him if I can help him and he barely acknowledges my existence. A few more attempts and he says wants to talk to someone more senior. At that moment one of the staff enters, who is older than me. The salesman immediately tries to flag him down and asks to speak to someone in charge. He points at me and says "Well the owner is standing right there".
I Need An Adult
Not the manager, but a woman called the store I (20 years old at the time) worked at and I answered the phone:
Me: [store name], ravensray speaking. Her: I need to speak to an adult. Me: hold on let me grab one... hello, ravensray speaking.
She was not amused, but my manager was.
Know When To Apologize
Maybe too late. Here it goes. I worked as a resident director aka the boss of the building for my university. Despite being in my 20's, I looked barely out of high school.
Move in day for all the freshman. The usual stuff happens. Crying parents and students. People trying to move in items that are not allowed. General crazy day nothing unusual yet.
Cue to a mom with the typical can I speak to your manager body language and haircut. She walks up to my staff member and demands another room for her child. The mom yells. Insults my staff. Finally she is screaming for a manager. I walk up and introduce myself and ask for her to tell me what's going on. The mom cannot believe her eyes. Me, this young man was the manager. She insisted on getting the real manager. I pull out my wallet and give her my card with my name and title clearly printed and informed her that I was the real manager. She continued to huff and puff until she ran out of steam.
Hours later I get knock on my door and it is the mom. She apologized for her behavior and explained it was stressful moving their child away from home. Emotions got the best of her and thanked me for treating her with respect despite her not showing the same.
If You Know It's Bad, Don't Buy It
I used to manage a vape shop. We would get unruly customers all the time. Lots of cheap a**holes.
This one guy comes in looking for a new tank. I show him our three most popular tanks. "Too expensive". He then points at a tank on my discount wall. The tank was a first generation and it's about 4 years old. So I was very up front with him. "Yes sir, it is a cheap tank. But I will let you know it's not a very good tank. It's one of the first tanks in the industry and is not great."
He insisted on buying it, so I sold it to him. And I let him know "Alrighty sir, just be aware that we do not allow returns on tanks. So if you don't like it, we can't take it back."
Cue 3 days down the road, he comes back complaining that I sold him a bunk tank. I said "yes sir, I did. But I told you it was a bad tank and you still opted to buy it, against my warnings. I told you we won't take it back."
He threw a massive fit and insisted on speaking to the manager. And this was after insulting me and cussing at me multiple times. I smiled and said "okay" and walked back to the office. Then I came back out and said "I heard you needed a manager?" Oooooh he was pissed. "GIVE ME A DIFFERENT MANAGER". "Sir, I'm the only manager. Please leave my store. You are no longer welcome here."
There was other managers. A district manager and a regional manager. But I had full autonomy in these matters and they'd be pissed if I had bothered them with this.
His final words were "you haven't seen the last of me!" I responded "that's okay, the police station is about 400 yards down the street. If I see you here again, they will be called." And he just angrily stormed out never to be seen again.
Sorry bro. I straight up told you not to buy that tank. You insisted because you're cheap.
Can't Do The Impossible
I run a support service for people without a lawyer. My clients, for the most part, are incredibly grateful and brave people. They are faced with navigating incredibly difficult legal processes alone - I respect each of them for the difficulties that they have to endure. Our service is limited in that we cannot provide legal advice (that will be important later).
But some people just want the world to bend over backwards for their every whim. I had one client who was demanding that the court provide her with transport on the day of her hearing (over 100 miles). Whilst I knew this was not at all possible, I went out of my way to go and speak to the relevant people to try and make it happen. I informed her that sorry, no, the court can't provide that for you, and I can't make it happen as I don't work for the court. Furthermore, I wasn't able to answer her questions as she was asking me to provide her with legal advice.
She became increasingly aggressive and was accusing me of obstructing justice for her, and for discrimination a) due to her not being British, and b) due to her disability. I remained calm as always, and tried to just make it clear that she was asking me to do things that I literally could not do. It came to a head when I became quite firm and told her that I couldn't do anything for her, and that I was going to have to put the phone down and get on with my other tasks.
She goes silent, and then, in a curt voice, says those magic words, "Can I speak to the manager please?"
The smile on my face spread. "I am the manager".
euphoric
P.S. Honestly, I wanted to help her. Even though she was being awful to me, many of my difficult clients are incredibly stressed out, and the cuts to legal aid in the UK mean that so many vulnerable people are left to fend for themselves in the legal jungle. But there really comes a point where you can't let yourself be the sponge for other peoples' negativity, and you just have to put your foot down and take no sh*t.
Own Your Mistakes
I worked at a local diesel truck shop, where we sold aftermarket parts. I was talking to this one person who had a Dodge pickup truck, but ordered a Ford exhaust. Now, we're usually easy going on returns, if its a couple days over the 30 days, etc. But this one guy is saying that we shipped him the wrong exhaust. I'm looking at his order in the system and he ordered the wrong exhaust. I tell him there will be a restock fee and he has to pay shipping back to us. I send him a copy of his order and receipt. Still denies he bought the wrong thing. Says "Gimme your manager, I'm sure he can help me." That's when I look at the owner of the company, and they nod at me, I tell the customer on the phone "I am the manager sir." Said it with such confidence too - my first time ever having to use that line. His anger and arrogance just disappeared. Guy returned his exhaust system within 3 days to us, accepting the restock fee.
H/T: Reddit
Dating is no picnic. It’s hard navigating around unrealistic expectations, conflicting personalities, and mixed signals. But not being on the same page—or even the same book—as a potential partner is a huge red flag, especially if they start behaving too intensely or inappropriately. Have a similar experience? Then get ready as these Redditors share the creepy ways some women took their affections waaay too far.
1. Long Time, Definitely No See
I was taking a language course, and there was this girl I was friends with. I never made a move or flirted with her. I introduced her to my girlfriend and made it very clear I was not interested. Regardless, she fell head over heels for me and started calling me every day: one to two times at first, but then up to 20 times a day.
I again told her I was not interested and that I was unavailable. She then started leaving love notes on my car, on my door, on my motorcycle, and at my work. I changed my number, but she got my new number through my work, and I started cussing at her on the phone to leave me alone. She just giggled and asked why I was playing hard to get.
After she appeared at my sliding glass back doors at 3 AM for the third time, I finally called law enforcement on her. I never told her where I lived—it was totally freaky. Twenty years later, she sent me a message on Facebook and mentioned that she was single and tried to friend me. I blocked her immediately.
2. Like A Woman Possessed
This happened back in college when my friends and I were still into the club and live band scene. We went to one bar and had a couple of rounds of drinks, not enough to get us wasted, but we were definitely having a good time that evening…until two girls introduced themselves to us. One of them looked okay, but the other had an RBF that was pretty to look at.
My friends and I were like, alright, cool. These two girls are making the first move. Great, let’s see where this goes. The second girl sat beside me, and she was weird to me from the get-go. She would place a drink in front of me and say, “Chug that.” I ignored it every time, and she didn’t seem to mind, but different things like that went on during the night.
Almost like she was giving me orders, she would say, “Dance with me,” or “Take a shot,” while her friend conversed away with my other friends. Then out of nowhere, this weird girl...she abruptly transformed as if she’d suddenly gotten possessed. She gave us all this angry, spiteful look. With her eyes full of hate, she reached out and hastily scratched one of my friends at the neck.
I sobered up instantly. To make things short, we noped the heck out of that place really quickly. On the drive home, my friends and I were just stunned into silence.
3. Office Drama
woman leaning on black handrailPhoto by Joshua Rawson-Harris on UnsplashI started a new job, and I shared a small office with a couple of other people, including a woman my age. She was kinda cute, but she was also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She’d flirt with me a lot, but I wasn’t interested. So, she started sending me emails. They were super long and detailed her whole day. She sent them to me every day.
I never responded. Then one day, she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn’t work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn’t—they kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day.
Eventually, I had another female officemate who was her friend talk with her. Finally, the emails stopped. Not too long after, I moved very far away—like, other-side-of-the-world far away. After a few months, another officemate sent me an email asking what city I lived in. I told her, and she wrote back that she had heard the “crazy emailer” was moving to my same small city halfway around the world.
That couldn’t be a coincidence, right? I asked the officemate for more details, and it got creepier and creepier: she was moving to my same neighborhood, got a job nearby, and was looking for an “old friend,” etc. It was about a week before the old officemate finally came clean that she was messing with me.
4. The Sniff Test
When I was in grade school, a girl snuck up behind me in gym class to sniff my butt. I caught her in the act, and I just felt gross.
5. Relationship Sabotage
Someone I once considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and didn’t feel the same for her, she went a little crazy. She found out who my girlfriend was somehow, and then DM’d her and tried to tell my girlfriend that I was cheating on her with her. She also claimed I was a pedo because this “friend” was a couple of years younger than us.
Luckily, I was with my girlfriend when she got that DM, so I explained the situation, and then we blocked her. Then, the next day she DM’d her again from an alternate account…
6. Like Mother, Like Daughter
selective focus photo of woman blowing gum standing in front of turned-on neon signagePhoto by Daniel Monteiro on UnsplashIn my early 20s, I went to a party. The woman who was hosting the party full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my junk. Strange? Yes. What made it more creepy was that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on.
7. From Cruise Control To Damage Control
I got a text from a girl I met on a cruise. She said that she loved our time together and asked if I preferred her over my girlfriend. I had maybe spoken to her once, and it was always with other people around, so obviously, nothing had ever happened between us. My girlfriend was with me when the messages came through.
The messages were tough to explain at first because it’s really hard to prove something isn’t true without witnesses. Looking back now, I just wonder why someone would ever actively try to mess up someone else’s life for no reason.
8. I’ll Be Watching You
This happened in the 90s. A woman found my address in the phone book and sat outside my home for multiple nights, all night long, just watching my house. I live in the middle of the woods, miles outside of town. The thing is, we only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I only found out sometime later what she had been doing.
9. That’s Some Crazy Optimism
woman holding brown tattoo machinePhoto by Thomas Despeyroux on UnsplashMy ex got my name tattooed on her foot…three years after we broke up.
10. Locks Are Key
I was dating this girl who asked me if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I was like, “No, but she wasn’t a crazy person, so I never worried about it.” She then said that she wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping over at my place if I didn’t change the locks. So, I changed the locks. Shockingly, the next day, my ex sent me an angry text, reading, “So, you changed your locks, huh? Real nice, jerk.”
It turned out that even after we’d broken up, my ex had been secretly coming over to my place the whole time and doing who knows what.
11. No Three Ways About It
My girlfriend at the time and I went to her friend’s house for supper. Immediately after dinner, the friend turned on a “graphic video” of some chick getting railed while another girl kept spitting on her. She looked at us and was like, “So, you guys into stuff like this?” We deliberated for about six seconds and said, “Eh, not so much,” and left.
She was a new friend of my girlfriend, and it was the first time any of us had hung out.
12. Taking A Shot
man in white scrub suit lying on hospital bedPhoto by Mufid Majnun on UnsplashOne of my old professors was stalked and harassed by his ex-girlfriend. It escalated to the point where she got put on a restraining order. The last straw was when he got a new girlfriend, and she straight up shot him in the chest. Purely by luck, he barely survived.
13. Love Letters
This woman stalked me for five years after we broke up. She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn’t have the address, she’d send them to the care of my parents. The most memorable letter was the one where she told me she was married. She wrote, “He’s a great guy, but he’s not you.”
Once not long after I’d moved to a new address, I came home and found a box of cookies she’d FedExed to me. Eventually, I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she also lived and worked there. I was worried we’d run into each other but figured that was pretty unlikely. Then the worst-case scenario happened. After less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet.
Up to that point, I’d been ignoring her and hoping she’d take the hint. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harassing me, or I’d call law enforcement. That night she called again, and I repeated my threat to bring in the authorities. Thankfully, I haven’t heard from her since.
14. A Long-Term Commitment
Last year I changed the privacy setting on my Facebook account to make some of my posts public. Unbelievably, my crazy ex-wife, whom I had successfully ghosted for 20 years, immediately jumped on there and tried to strike up a conversation.
15. Morbid Curiosity
smiling woman wearing white and black pinstriped collared topPhoto by Štefan Štefančík on UnsplashI once got a friend request on Facebook in the summer of 2011. I was 17, and she was 20. She seemed kinda familiar, so I assumed we knew each other. So, I accepted and asked how we knew each other. It turned out we did not know each other. She found my profile via creeping and decided she wanted to sleep with me. So, she sent me photos and messages trying to convince me.
Now, this freaked me out—there were red flags everywhere. But, I was really more curious than anything. I agreed to meet her in a public place, and she agreed because she wanted to bang in public. I made sure to pack rubbers. We met in person, and she actually matched her photos. So, I spent a good part of a day banging her in various public places and getting to know this stranger.
She was insane. I cannot stress enough how crazy she was. But I was in too deep at this point. I was not going to be anything less than friendly while she had me in a...compromising position. Afterward, she wanted to meet again and go on a date. I ghosted her, and she got the message. But wait, there’s more. A few months later, she tried to hit me up again, and I just kept giving her lame excuses until she stopped.
Then I saw she added my friend on Facebook. I had told him about her before, but we were not on good terms at the time. They met up and actually dated. Like, my homie knew why I backed out, but he still drove right in. Things inevitably fell apart shortly after she got pregnant. That’s the story of how my accepting a friend request resulted in my buddy having a kid.
16. That’s Awful
I met this girl online and talked to her for a bit. I really did start to like her. But later, I found out that the picture she showed me of herself was actually a picture of her friend who passed from cancer.
17. Growing Concern
I hung out with some friends, and they brought someone I hadn’t met yet. We ended up hooking up. Right afterward, she asked me where the used rubber was. I told her, and she grabbed it and said she was going to throw it away. But then, she walked past the trash and went upstairs. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous about getting a call nine months from then.
I think I’m in the clear, but it still creeped me out though.
18. An Officer And A Gentleman
a blue sports car parked outside a buildingPhoto by Brad Killen on UnsplashMany years ago, I had a ‘92 Camaro that I kept in great condition and only drove when I was on leave. One night, I was driving home from a date when I got lit up. I checked my speed, and sure enough, I was doing 85 in a 55 zone. Dang. I pulled over, and a female officer approached my car. She asked for my license, my registration, the usual. I forked everything over, and she asked me if my car was a ’92.
I told her that it was, and she started asking me all kinds of questions about it. Had I done any engine work? Did I replace the transmission or rear pumpkin? What kind of clutch did I have on it? Where did I get it from? I answered gamely enough, thinking that maybe I might get a lesser ticket if she was in a good mood.
One of my answers mentioned that I bought it at auction a few years back. She then said she used to drive a pursuit car that was a ’92 Camaro…which was eventually sold at auction a few years back. Then she told me how she lost her virginity in the back seat of that car. Well, okay then. That’s when things started to get weird.
She claimed there was a problem with my plate and ran my VIN. Sure enough, it was the same car she used to drive. She started flirting with me—a lot. Not even just flirting, but she began telling me about herself. She was a virgin until she was 27 because she was a devout Christian, but she eventually realized that God doesn’t really care about premarital relations.
She’d tried “every drug known to man” by taking “samples” from evidence, but the only drugs she liked were coke and booze. She also liked to party. Then, after she saw my army ID, she started telling me about a marine she used to date and how they would “do it” in public. She also told me how much she loved our troops. She said she wanted to have kids: a boy and a girl. She couldn’t see herself settling down, though, unless it was with a cop or a soldier.
I started out confused, but then she climbed into the back seat and told me that she’d like to recreate some old memories. Now I really started to freak out. This was an adult woman, in her full officer get-up, sitting in my back seat, basically proposing to me and offering to consummate the union right there, on the side of a road in an upscale suburb of Miami in the middle of the night.
An image then popped into my head of me coming home after dating and breaking up with her, only to later find my next girlfriend dead alongside a murder weapon with my fingerprints on it lying next to her. I couldn’t shake it the whole time. I was scared in a way I had never been before. I made my excuses, claimed to have a girlfriend (I did not: the date hadn’t gone that well), and told her I had to get up early in the morning.
She let me off with a warning...and her phone number. I never lost a number so fast in my life. I spent the rest of my leave getting spooked by every cop car I saw, thinking it was her.
19. A Fare To Remember
I was going to head home after a night out, and as I was getting into my taxi, a girl jumped in after me. I asked what she was doing, and she said, “I’m coming home with you.” Nope. The taxi driver helped me, and she eventually got out of the car after I shot down her advances.
20. Poor Cinderelly
A girl accused me of cheating on her upon meeting my genuine girlfriend. I had never been with her or even heard a word from her about her liking me. She just assumed the role of my girlfriend without ever telling me and then got mad when she met my real-life partner. We were all about 15 or 16 years old, and I’d taken my real girlfriend out to a local drama group performance of Cinderella.
The crazy girl was in the cast, and she caught my eye from the dressing room as my partner and I entered the building. She gave me a stern look and ran off. Later that night, after the play was over, she approached us and said something insane: “Oh, so this is the girl you’re cheating on me with, huh?!” I was naturally very surprised, as was my partner.
It was like a Mexican stand-off of death stares. Naturally, I asked what the heck she was talking about. I’d never cheated, nor would I cheat on anyone, and it was the first time I’d heard of the relationship between her and me. She proceeded to try and structure her next few sentences, but they didn’t really make sense, and then she ran off again.
I felt awful for her. I had no idea she had any feelings for me, let alone any strong feelings. At the same time, however, I was furious. It was a difficult trip home with my real partner, but it got resolved, and we continued to date for another two months or so before something else much more usual separated us.
21. Hugs Not Drugs
person with white and gold lipstickPhoto by lilartsy on UnsplashMy early 20s were rife with interesting experiences, to say the least. In this particular story, a girl I met at a dive bar once randomly shoved a pill in my mouth while we were making out after we got back to my place. It freaked me out. I immediately spat it out and asked her, “What the heck is this?!” She just giggled, told me it was a sleeping pill, and asked if she could stay the night.
I told her, “Uhh...no. Please leave, what the heck.”
22. She Set His Teeth On Edge
My dentist told me this story once. While he was still studying to become a dentist, he would often work in free clinics in the poor areas around the campus for his practice requirements. A girl came in a few times to have some cavities filled, and during her last session, he told her, “Great, we’re done. All your holes are filled.”
She then made bad, sexy eyes at him. While still in the chair, she replied to him, “Not all of them.” That wasn’t so bad…except that his wife (who at the time was his serious girlfriend) was also his dental assistant. He said the combination of the location, situation, and circumstances creeped him out so much that he nearly ran out of the office.
23. Request Denied
A woman created about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts to try to get me to friend her. It’s weird because I’ll get a handful of friend requests from her every few weeks, yet I’ve never even met this woman in person.
24. Run, Don’t Walk
woman in white and red raglan t-shirt smokingPhoto by Heleno Kaizer on UnsplashThere was this one girl in university who was quite the creep. She was in a really bad breakup, and I stood by her as a friend, but she was not my type in every single way. Anyway, she was pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s baby. Our faculty was having a party, and she showed up wanting to drink and have fun. Everyone declined to give her any booze.
Then nearly at the end of the evening, she said to me, “You know, maybe you should tell your future stepdaughter hello. She would appreciate your junk when she is old enough.” I was so disgusted that I said I had to take a leak and fled the scene, avoiding that woman like the plague.
25. Stranger Danger
A woman somehow got my number and started texting me, asking if I was going to club X that night (which I was going to). I asked her where I knew her from, and she started lying about us having hooked up the week before during a party that I attended. At first, I was like, “What? I didn’t hook up with anybody there!” However, I started to doubt myself because I did get pretty wasted at that party.
She then began to tell all kinds of stories about how we met, which didn’t make sense at all. I decided to block her and went to a different party that night. I later found out she was actually an out-of-town friend of someone I vaguely knew who showed her my Facebook page. Immediately after seeing it, she decided to stalk me.
26. False Friend
A girl once told me, “I had a dream that you and I banged behind the dumpster, and I can’t get it out of my head. Come on, let’s go.” She then grabbed my junk as if she was going to lead me by the groin. For context, I was in high school, and this girl was “friends” with my long-time girlfriend, and everyone knew about our relationship.
My relationship with my girlfriend was closed, monogamous, unexciting, and sweet…and this fake friend pulled this!? I was angry. I didn’t turn her in because who knows what she would have said that I did to the school admins, but I told my then-girlfriend about it, and she cut her off forever. The witch ended up expelled for bringing illicit substances on a school trip.
27. Out Of This World
a woman with long black hair and black lipstickPhoto by JOHN BEARBY IMAGES on UnsplashMy friend’s ex-girlfriend was on and off dating him for years. During one of their breaks, she was pretty interested in me. I did not share the same feelings (it didn’t help that she had just shaved her head). She was very awkward, and you could see that whenever she was upset, she’d try to pull off this Wednesday Addams style I’m-going-to-stare-straight-into-your-soul-until-it-catches-fire kind of look with people.
She was also convinced she had psychic/empathic powers and could read people’s emotional states by staring into their eyes. In reality, she was probably borderline autistic and couldn’t tell when she was making someone uncomfortable if her life depended on it. She once claimed to get these “abilities” from having descended from some sort of space vampires, or space werewolves or something.
But before she gave me the full details of her “heritage,” she just said, “But I shouldn’t talk about that anymore. Just know there’s a lot more going on in this universe than we understand.” She wanted to cuddle with me once, too. I wasn’t interested, but I was an awkward nerd who was bad at turning people down. She thought I was just shy because I was bad with women, so she kind of forced it on me, and I just put up with it for a while to make her shut up.
She also smelled bad, and not just in an “I didn’t shower” kind of way. Instead, it was more like the natural smells of her body were just wrong to me.
28. Better Safe Than Sorry
I was seeing this girl, and we went out three or four times. Eventually, we got to sexy times. I brought a rubber, but she asked me not to use it because she was on birth control. A few days later, she called me crying, looking for me to console her. It turned out she was crying because she thought she couldn’t get pregnant because she was, in fact, not on birth control. Instead, she tried to time it right for her.
Young me learned an important lesson about rubbers that day, and I didn’t speak to her again.
29. Just Creeping By…
I dated a girl who was pretty damaged and had some serious emotional baggage from a prior relationship. She didn’t trust me at all because her previous boyfriend cheated on her, so naturally, that meant all men were like that. She never wanted me to go to bars with my friends because “the only reason guys go to bars is to find girls to bang.”
Anyway, we hung out one night, and I went home early (I don’t recall why). I was in-between apartments and staying at my parents’ house at the time. I woke up at 1:00 AM and went downstairs to grab a glass of water. I just happened to glance out the little window in the front door as I walked by…and what did I see?
Her maroon Oldsmobile Alero was slowly creeping by the house with its lights off before stopping at the end of the driveway. She was no doubt checking to see if my car was there and if I was actually home. Needless to say, I was fully creeped out. But I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want to embarrass her, I guess.
A couple of days later, I went home early again, turned out all of the lights, and waited. Sure enough, she came by again. Not too long after that, she introduced me to one of her friends, who was absolutely out-of-my-league hot. My girlfriend then found some excuse to leave me alone with her friend for a few minutes, and the friend almost instantly started asking me for my number and saying things like, “We should hang out.”
Now, I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but this was a setup, clear as day. I didn’t give her friend my number. I left and broke up with her not long afterward. It’s now been 15ish years, and I’m happily married with a beautiful daughter and a lovely house. I literally just found out last week that this creepy ex-girlfriend lives about two seconds away from me.
30. The Other Guy
woman's facePhoto by Danie Franco on UnsplashI met a girl and fell for her pretty quickly. The chemistry was undeniable, and we were spending just about every minute together for five or so weeks. Then she dropped, “My fiancé is getting back from India in two days, so I’m going to be gone for a few days. Can we still see each other when he goes back again?” I was absolutely gutted and had no idea that she was already in a relationship.
I said no, but that didn’t stop her from rocking up at my place again the second he left. I told her I didn’t want to see her again. She started crying and tried to kiss me. I walked away with her sobbing in her car. I really liked her, and it broke my heart to see her like that; I cried a bit myself once I got inside.
I just couldn’t trust her again after what she did.
31. The Issue At Hand
This was maybe not creepy in a sense, but it freaked me out. I was in the school hallway, and school had been over for an hour, but my mother worked there, so I waited. I was getting something from my locker, and this one angry-looking girl walked up to me in the empty hallway. She then took my hand, placed it on her butt, and asked, “Does this feel fake?”
I was 13 at the time, and the whole thing freaked me out for a while.
32. Workplace Harassment
My partner at one of my first jobs was a woman who outweighed me by about 300 pounds. Our job was picking up litter and changing out trash bags at the local parks. Whenever I’d bend over to pick up trash, she’d make comments about my butt, and she’d sometimes bring up that she thought I had a cute butt when we were alone in the truck.
While I was working, she’d also wait to see if my boxers showed at any point and then make an effort to memorize what color they were that day. At one point, another woman joined us for about a week; she only outweighed me by maybe 100 pounds. She graphically described what a threesome between the three of us would look like and insinuated that we should pull over somewhere to make that happen.
I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but there was no way in the heck my foreman would ever do anything about it other than make fun of me, assuming he believed me at all.
33. Excuse Me…What?
woman with hands on neck standing near white concrete wall during daytimePhoto by Els Fattah on UnsplashA female co-worker had a crush on me and “accidentally” ran into me (literally) at the public mall while I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend. She then proceeded to ask me if I was going to "take" her. Specifically, she said, “So, are you going to hold me down and take me now?” She said this completely without context and with no carnal talk having ever occurred between us that might have justified it or made it a potentially unfunny joke.
It was just out of nowhere. She said this out loud in front of my friend, in the middle of the mall, in public, during the middle of the day.
34. She Showed Her True Colors
When online chat rooms were popular, I met a girl a while back who’d just gotten out of a bad relationship. We started chatting, and from the get-go, I told her I only wanted to be friends. We shared similar interests and enjoyed each other’s company, and through talking, we found out we actually didn’t live too far from each other.
We’d meet up from time to time to play video games and hang out. After about two weeks of being friends, she admitted that she had feelings for me. I said, “That’s sweet, but I only see you as a friend, and I’d like to keep it that way.” From that point on, she would make intimate advances toward me, but I kept refusing.
She progressively kept going into more detail about all the “nasty things” she’d do to me, most of which made me feel super uncomfortable. After a month, I couldn’t handle all the inappropriate behavior anymore and decided that we couldn’t be friends any longer. But when I told her our friendship was over, she threatened me.
She claimed that officers would believe anything she’d say, especially over my word, and she referred to me by an ethnic slur. It’s hard to describe what I felt that day, but I’d have to say that it was mostly fear. I blocked her from everything and blocked her phone number. Luckily that was the last I heard of her.
35. No Means No
There was this female co-worker who I was always cordial with, and I got exposed to her life way more than any co-worker should be: I knew about her family drama, her relationship drama, and everything in between. One day, a few of us went to a bar after work. Eventually, everyone left except for the two of us. It was around 10 PM.
We hadn’t been drinking that much; in two hours, our group of four shared three pitchers of a bad domestic brew. But she forcefully sat next to me the whole time and kept touching my knee at multiple points throughout the night. Anyway, I offered to call her an Uber since I felt like walking home, and she asked if I would come with her.
I asked if she felt like she needed me to come with her because Ubers felt unsafe to take alone. She said no, and that she just wanted some company. I replied that I was not comfortable doing that and that I really just wanted to go home to relax before work the next morning, to which she looked visibly upset upon hearing.
Granted, I felt bad, so I said to her, “You can come with me if you don’t want to be alone, but I’m doing my own thing. I have a dog to feed, and I like to decompress before going to bed.” That was a huge mistake. She agreed and walked with me. A little more than halfway there, she wanted to sit on a bench at a park by my house because she was tired.
I agreed and sat with her for a bit. Immediately, she rested her head on my shoulder. I asked if she had too much to drink, and she said no. Then she placed her hand back on my knee and slowly moved it up towards my zipper and button. I asked her to stop and said I’d prefer just to remain friends/co-workers. She said something along the lines of, “C’mon, everyone wants this.”
I literally had to hold her arm away four or five times while telling her to stop, which she just brushed off as me being silly or “hard to get.” I don’t know how much more seriously I could have told her to stop. She got annoyed and asked me if I was gay or if I didn’t find her attractive, and I tried to explain that this just wasn’t something I wanted.
I was going through a bad breakup, among plenty of other things at the time, and I just wanted to keep my head down and focus on work. But she still kept pushing. Not knowing how to deal with the situation, or with the anxiety of all the ways that this could go badly for me, or even with just a lack of better judgment, I stopped pushing her hand away.
I figured the sooner I let her do this, the sooner it would be over with, so I proceeded to receive the most stressful blowjob I have ever gotten. I didn’t even get hard, and I was anxiously looking around at all the people walking by. I guess after about 15 minutes or so, her jaw must have gotten tired because she looked at me and said, “Okay, I’m done. Can you call me that Uber?”
I did. I had the most stressful and awkward five months at that job until I had to quit and never see her again.
36. She Needed To Get Out Of His Hair
group of people near bonfire near trees during nighttimePhoto by Tegan Mierle on UnsplashI was at a summer camp for blind and visually impaired people, and we were traveling somewhere. We were on a bus, and my friend and I were talking. All of a sudden, he said, “Oh yeah, by the way, there’s this girl that told me she likes you and that she’s going to sneak into your room and watch you sleep. She wanted you to know that, or else she threatened to kill me.”
I didn’t believe it at first, but then I noticed that I lost some hair the next morning. I was like, Okay. What. The. Actual. Heck? It happened every night for the rest of the time I was at camp. Even worse, the following year, it happened again. So, I started to make sure to lock my window. The night I started doing that, I heard repeated knocking, and even more aggressively, I could hear someone whispering, “I know you’re in there (insert my name here). Open the dang window!”
I noped the heck out right there and started sleeping with my cane ever since (I’m not completely blind, but I still have one). I haven’t been there since 2018, but I’m going back this year. Hopefully, that doesn’t happen again. That scarred me.
37. She Got The Boot Instead
My ex of less than a week climbed through my first-floor apartment bedroom window. It was 2:30 AM, and she was wasted. While climbing, one of her shoes fell off, and upon seeing it, she thought it was another girl’s shoe. She then began beating me with her shoe while yelling, “Who’s shoe is this?” I woke up and had to bear hug her before carrying her out the front door and placing her on the porch.
38. Waiting For A Grace Period
My ex faked being pregnant to stop me from breaking up with her. In every relationship that I’ve ended since then, I’ve waited until my girl’s period arrived before breaking up. Having a crazy partner bargain with the life of your unborn child will mess you up.
39. All She Saw Was A Piece Of Meat
brown and white meat dishPhoto by Wright Brand Bacon on UnsplashI was at a costume party dressed as a piece of bacon. This wasted girl casually walked up to me, bit my nipple through my costume, and then continued to whisper in my ear, “What a juicy piece of meat.” I probably stood there for a solid minute as I tried to figure out what just happened before I got the heck out of there.
40. Crazy In Love
When I was single, I played the field, so to speak. This was in the heady days of the internet before smartphones and all that jazz. I met a lot of crazies. Like, a LOT of crazies. The weirdest one was probably the girl I met online on a Wednesday who quickly progressed to lurking outside my bedroom window by Sunday night. We had met in person on Friday and bumped nasties, as was the style at the time.
The following day I went to a BBQ with her and all her family, and she introduced me as her new long-term boyfriend. Her mum asked me about kids and stuff. It was all a bit wild—but this was just the beginning. On Sunday, I hung out with my mates and went to the movies. I turned my phone off for the movie, and by the time I turned it back on, I had 14 voice messages asking/pleading/yelling at me.
She’d convinced herself I was cheating and wanted to know where I was. Bear in mind: I had only just met her in person two days beforehand. I just went, “Witches be crazy, yo,” to my mates and thought nothing more of it. Then at 2 AM, I got a text that read, “We need to talk. I know you’re in there. I’m watching you right now.” She was outside my bedroom window.
I noped-noped-noped-freaking-noped, and she nearly tore the door down to get in. When I didn’t let her inside, she wrote a four-page manifesto and left it on my door for me to read. It was an insight into the mind of a crazy woman. Holy heck. She sort of bothered me a bit for the next couple of months but then found some new guy. I stalk her every now and then on Facebook, and she seems moderately sane. Maybe.
She’s one of those Live, Laugh, Love ladies. I kinda wonder what it would have been like if we’d stayed together and gone on a third date. I reckon she would have shanked me for looking at another woman.
41. Sleep Tight
A woman once climbed up the fire escape next door and crawled through my first-floor bedroom window. That in itself wasn’t too creepy: she didn’t jump in my bed or anything. What was creepy was when I woke up to her standing in the middle of my room, watching me sleep. She actually turned her head to the side with a creepy smile and said, “Hello, sleepyhead.”
That was freaky as heck. I put chains on my windows after she left that day. I told her it was to stop the cat from getting out my window.
42. Hitting The Brakes
black bar stool near glass windowPhoto by Andriyko Podilnyk on UnsplashI went on a first date for brunch at a small café by the beach with a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend. I took an Uber there in case we had drinks. The date went smoothly. As we were leaving, she saw me request another Uber and offered to give me a ride back to my place instead. I thought, cool. We hadn’t been drinking, it would save me a few bucks, and maybe it could also lead to sexy times.
Then, halfway back to my place on a long road in the middle of nowhere, she dropped, “So, are we going to do this thing or what?” Score, I thought. I asked her, “What do you mean by ‘this thing?’” She answered, “Start a serious relationship.” I told her, “Uh, this was our first date, and...” Before I could finish my sentence, she pulled the handbrake on the car and told me to get out.
Apparently, she didn’t have enough time to mess around with guys who weren’t serious. We had just met! If she’d been a bit more patient and gone on a few more dates with me, we might have actually become an item.
43. Plot Twist: The Pub Was On Elm Street
I was chilling and chugging some beers with friends at my local pub in Germany. There were six people in our group that evening. Four of them went to play table soccer, but it wasn’t far away from our table—it was two or three meters away max. So I was left behind at that point with a girl I didn’t know. We were alone at the table, but my friends weren’t far away, so I didn’t mind.
Suddenly, this girl moved really close to me and was like, “Hey, wanna see my knives?” I—being a bit wasted and feeling a little bit randy at the time—thought she was good-looking, so I said, “Sure.” I couldn’t really understand her because the music was loud. So, she pulled out 10ish knives, and I was just like, “Why the heck do you have them with you!?”
She explained in a creepy tone and expression that she loved the feeling of knives on her and how she always fantasized about cutting herself. That was the point where I went, yeah, nope, screw that.I instantly excused myself. When I came back to the table, she was gone. Out of curiosity, I asked my friends where she went, and they told me she left.
One of my friends then asked who that girl even was, but nobody knew. Everyone just thought one of us knew her. Obviously, I told them the story right away. They all believed me because I’m an honest person when it comes to such things, and they all made fun of me as though I’d just survived Freddy Krueger.
44. Crazy In Love
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m sort of a magnet for crazy girls. The craziest thing a girl said to me was, “I wish I could lock you in a cage and throw away the key, so no one else can come near you, just me.” It sounds fake and insane, but it’s incredibly true, unfortunately. I was with her for about a year and a half. She didn’t lock me away, but anytime she found out I’d spoken to another girl—even if it were a co-worker—she would flip the heck out.
She even forgot about the day we first met and proceeded to go mental on me, saying that I must have been talking about some other girl. She then blocked me on everything until she remembered again. I’d say it took her about an hour.
45. Two Words: Restraining Order
woman taking photo while showing smilePhoto by Gabriel Silvério on UnsplashI had a stalker once, and she was creepy as heck. She was a friend of a friend. I met her at a party, and she seemed nice enough. A couple of days later, I got a friend request from her on Facebook, and it just started getting weird. She wrote to me constantly and began to post things like, “I’m thinking about you all the time,” on my wall even after I’d asked her to stop writing to me.
I had a girlfriend at the time, but this woman would tag me in her half-dressed selfies. I changed all my online accounts because she would stalk me on all the forums I was on. Then she somehow got my address and phone number, and she’d text me the second I got home and ask me what I was doing. Of course, I didn’t answer her, so she would start texting things like, “I know you’re home. Can I come in?”
She also posted pics of herself outside my building, and she would throw her panties through my mailslot. It was all freaky—but then it took an even darker turn. She cut my name in her arm and posted it on Facebook. In the end, my girlfriend left me because she was scared of her; the stalker sent me pictures of my girlfriend talking with male co-workers and friends, going out with her friends, or just shopping in general.
The final straw for my girlfriend occurred when the stalker sent me pictures she’d taken through the windows of my girlfriend’s home while she was home. So, I would definitely call this woman creepy…
46. Time For Beddy-Bye
When I was in college, a friend of mine had this one girl who would not leave him alone despite making it crystal clear that he was in a long-term relationship. He returned to his room on three different occasions to find her in his bed waiting for him. He reported it each time, and she’d get “talked to” by either the RA’s or the dean of students, but nothing more would come of it.
She suddenly stopped bothering him, and a week or so later, one of his suitemates found her in HIS bed waiting for him. After that incident, she left school. We think the school contacted her parents, but we don’t know for sure.
47. She Must Have Kept One Heck Of A To-Do List
Six months after our breakup, my ex called me out of the blue because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me, but I accepted. I'd soon regret that decision. When we met, she seemed friendly and all...at first. Then, at a certain point, she pulled out a sheet listing all the men she’d banged after our relationship—and she read it all to me. The list came complete with an accurate description of her every carnal encounter.
Well, it was an awkward moment.
48. That Escalated Quickly
topless man standing near green plantPhoto by James Barr on UnsplashBack when I was 16 and still in school, a female classmate became really obsessed with me. She would send me tons of weird messages, she always tried to pair with me in science class, and she’d openly stare at me a lot of the time. I was usually just polite in return and never went out of my way to interact with her. She ended up getting really creepy and got me in a lot of trouble.
At one point, her messages became genuinely worrying, and I did not know what to do. I remember that the night it got really bad. That night, she sent me a disturbing picture. It was my name carved into her arm. I had no idea what to do. In hindsight, I should’ve told someone straight away. So, the next day I prepared to tell one of the teachers—or just anyone—to possibly get her help.
But before I could, she told people that I told her to carve my name in her arm. It was a pretty awful time for me. I got attacked at school that same day, officers came to my house, my phone got taken away, and everybody treated me like a felon. Apart from my two main friends at school, everyone seemed to think I was in the wrong.
The next day at school, I got called into the head’s office and told I was being expelled. They called my parents, who very angrily took me home. They didn’t want to listen to my explanation or side of the story. Thank God that on that same night, the officers came back, returned my phone, and told me they’d established that I had nothing to do with her carving my name into her arm.
They apologized to me and seemed pretty genuinely sorry. It’s all explained to my dad that I was not in the wrong. The officers spoke to the head of the school, who agreed I’d be allowed to return the next day. He told me that the girl would not be there when I go back.
49. The Present Danger
Back when I was 19 or 20 years old, I had a part-time counter job at a local shop. After work, I would go out to my car, and I started finding notes tucked under my windshield wiper. They were casual “you’re so cute, I want to get to know you” type notes. There was no name or anything, so I just kind of shrugged it off and went about my business.
Then the notes started becoming more frequent and eventually turned into full-out love letters. The writer talked about being lonely and wanting to be my girlfriend, but she was too shy to talk to me. At that point, I started to get concerned, so I asked the people I worked with if they knew anything. None of them knew a thing about it but thought it was hilarious. What happened next wasn't hilarious.
Then what really put me over the top was when I went out to my car one night and found nothing on my windshield. So, I got in my car and noticed a wrapped present with an envelope taped to it. It was inside my car. I opened the gift, and it was a very expensive bottle of booze that I threw out. The letter was super graphic and vulgar and clearly from a woman.
I still had no idea who was doing this, but it kept going on with a different gift for the next few nights: a bag of weed, a CD from my favorite band, and a restaurant gift card. I was super freaked out at this point, so I talked to my bosses to see if there was anything they could do. They basically shut me down and wished me good luck with the issue.
That night I triple-checked to make sure I locked my car door, and sure enough, after my shift, I found another bottle of booze and a letter. I called my boss the next day and quit. I never went back, and I never found out who it was.
50. No Regrets
A girl who was a good friend of mine in high school once shot me down and wanted to stay friends. She then started dating my buddy. I thought, cool, no problem, because she would set me up with her friends, and I had a lot of fun. I didn’t ever find a girlfriend in high school, but I still had a blast, if you know what I mean. We graduated, went our separate ways, and grew apart while in college.
I got a girlfriend, and I ended up marrying her after college. But not long after I married my wife, my old friend started calling me. At this point, she had been married for several years to someone I didn’t know. We started talking like we were friends again. She told me she was pregnant, to which I responded with, “Congratulations! Excellent! Good for you guys!” Strangely, she told me before she told her husband.
She later found out she was having twins, and a few days after, she told me she had crazy regrets. I asked, “Oh yeah, what’s that?” She answered that she regretted that we never got together. I said, “That was because you turned me down and dated my buddy. We were friends.” She then responded that just this once, we should hook up now. I immediately turned her down, but she was adamant that we could.
She reasoned that because she was already pregnant, we had no worries there. But I declined her offer again. That’s when she said something truly messed up. She said she wished her twins were mine and hers and that she’d been in love with me since the very beginning. She also told me that she always thought we would end up together until I started dating someone seriously. Flabbergasted, I replied, “Sorry, we need to stop talking.”
I think she was having marriage problems and wanted out. She knew I once liked her years earlier, so instead of just ending her marriage like an adult, she was looking for another excuse to blow it up. She also knew I’d graduated college and landed a job in my field; she tried to blow up her marriage with a blue-collar guy. I quickly noped out and told her we couldn’t be friends and that she should really fix her marriage.
I lost her number and never looked back. I lived a long way away, so she couldn’t just show up. I did tell my wife immediately after the conversation happened. She thought it was funny. She even kept this old friend on Facebook.
Redditor Turbulent-Ad-7862 wanted to hear about everyone's thoughts on the first person they had sex with, so they asked:
"How do you feel towards the person you lost your virginity to? Do you still remember them?"
Oh... the first.
I have two. (Not at the same time).
One of each gender.
Still care deeply about both.
HER
Happy Its Me GIF by Kiaundra JacksonGiphy"Pretty sure she was the one who got away, but we dated in high school and she moved away before our relationship could find a conclusion. At this point, it's probably just nostalgia... lol."
Dewey_Bosh
Oh Them
"I don’t feel one way or another. I haven’t seen her in over 20 years or so. I haven’t thought about her in years until this post."
1980pzx
15~ years for me and exactly the same. This post reminded me of her and honestly, I hope she’s doing well. A quick Facebook search shows she married the guy she dated after me and they had a kid. That’s wonderful and I’m glad for her."
UncoolSlicedBread
"Same situation for me, only it has been more like 10 years instead of 20! I actually almost forgot about the guy until I saw this post, lol."
MsSibylline
Best Of...
"Well on the 'hot/crazy' matrix she was firmly in the top right-hand corner lol. So I remember her very vividly, the sex is still some of the best that I've ever had. Luckily I had some older and wiser friends who kind of dragged me out of that relationship. For which I am very grateful. I have no idea what became of her, and I don't particularly care. :-) "
BeerPoweredNonsense
Better than me...
"I miss her, to be honest. She was fun, fiercely intelligent, and far too good for me. It was humbling being completely ill-equipped to argue with her, but fun to watch her demolish adults in debate and run rings around them in conversation. It’s been 22 years since I last saw her, 17 since we last communicated by email. She has a family of her own now and inevitably was an enormous success in her career."
Prudent-Earth-1919
Still Strong...
just married love GIFGiphy"I've been with her for 10 years and I hope to still be with her for another 60 or so."
Caractacutetus
"I mean, we've been married for 15 years and have 5 kids. I guess she's OK."
aroundincircles
It's amazing that people can make it work for life.
It gives me hope.
Though I'll stay a cynic.
Why Not?
Snl Queen GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Oofta, I do remember them. But it’s not a romantic story at all. I was caught up in the 'everyone is doing it, better get it over with' and I lost it to a stranger at 15. He was also 15 and it was his first time. 😩 "
Ashley0716
So far, so good...
"Pretty damn good. It's only been a few months but I'm totally into him and (despite his self-proclaimed aversion to relationships) he pushed to be exclusive and he's texting on an almost daily basis wanting to get together. As for how I feel, 50% horny, 40% happy, and 10% anxious sums it up well."
_eviehalboro
Memories
"It was my high school girlfriend. I ended up breaking up with her. We hooked up again about 6 months after the breakup. Just casual sex. No labels. Ended up going to different colleges in the same city. Hooked up and went on some dates during our freshman year. Still no labels."
"Eventually she basically gave me an ultimatum. Said she emotionally couldn’t do the casual thing any more. Basically, we get back together for real or we go our separate ways. I wasn’t willing to get back together, but I respected her decision and didn’t want to toy with her feelings. She wanted to be together, and I knew that any kind of just treating her like a normal friend would have only given her hope. So I basically just cut out all communication."
"That’s been 8-9 years ago now. She seems to be doing well. Just recently got engaged. She was a good girl, and I’m happy for her. Wish it didn’t have to end as it did because she was cool and I liked spending time with her. But it would have been selfish and emotionally manipulative to do anything besides cut off communication as I did. I have nothing but fond memories of her. I hope she’d say the same of me."
ShitfacedGrizzlyBear
17
"He was a friend I met during a school theatrical production. I was 17, I told my dad I was staying back at school to do assignments and then hiked it to his place. His father nearly caught us. He’s a good person and has come so far. He was addicted to prescription meds for a long while. I won’t ever forget him and I hope he’s doing well since coming off that sh*t. :) "
OttersAndOttersAndOt
Ugh... HER
Angry Fed Up GIFGiphy"I still remember her, but I hate her guts now. She ended up cheating on me, and then thought it would be alright to still be friends after."
Ghoulthrower676
The one person we can't ever forget.
Good or bad experience... that first time and person stays with us.
