Blind Gay People Share The Moment They First Realized They Were Gay[rebelmouse-image 18346584 is_animated_gif=
Being gay is a part of who you are! It's not a choice... it's a part of all the pieces that make someone unique. It's frustrating that we have to keep going over that in 2018! But let's. And within the marginalized community is a another marginalized community.
Redditor _Barbhara asked _Blind gay people of Reddit, how did you know you were gay? That is a loaded question. And it means a lot to a lot of people. And the stories are worth the read.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE BLIND TO WE'RE ALL THE SAME.
A common misconception about being gay is that the awareness of being gay is any different than the awareness of being straight.
Here's how I know I'm straight (I'm a guy). At a certain age, I started feeling differently around girls. I liked to look at them in a certain way. I liked to hear their voices, and to be around them. I liked to dance with them and hold their hands. I liked to kiss them and hug them, and talk on the phone to them well into the night. In "serious" relationships, I would feel like there just wasn't enough time, because we each had to go to our respective homes, instead of just staying up all night and talking, which was all we wanted to do.
Eventually I learned that this was what it was like to be straight. But I never thought of it as being straight. It was just how I was.
My son is gay. And all I can hope is that he has the opportunity to feel the same things while he's young as I did at his age. And I don't care who he feels that way about, nearly as much as some people think I should.
YOU JUST DO YOU![rebelmouse-image 18346585 is_animated_gif=
"I knew that I was very different from the other kids, and I felt horribly lonely. I didn't fit in with the sighted kids, but what was worse, I didn't fit in with the blind kids, either. All the boys were interested in sports and rough games. I wasn't. Some talked about girls, but because I was blind from birth, and because nobody ever talked to me about sex, I had no idea what was being discussed. I am ashamed to say that I didn't even know the difference between girls and boys, except that girls were usually nicer to me, and yet, I felt a strange feeling when hugging a male student.
When I was 15 years old, a girl explained to me how babies were born. "You're very stupid!" Harriet told me. "Don't you know anything?" I wanted to ask more questions. What was all this talk about "erections?" But I knew that if I admitted how little I knew, I'd be laughed at, so I kept quiet. I could not ask my mother. She never talked about such things, and I knew she would only be upset and tell me not to ask so many questions. So, I ordered books in braille about sex, and read them, and had a vague understanding.
What is surprising, and very important, is that I began to realize that I was attracted to other boys and men, and not to women. I realized that I had a strange feeling when close to people of my own sex that I did not have when I was with women. I somehow knew that this was not the way it should be, and never mentioned it to anyone."
CUE NETFLIX.[rebelmouse-image 18346586 is_animated_gif=
Watch the film "The Way He Looks", beautiful story about a blind gay teen and his love for a classmate.
SOMETIMES IT'S OBVIOUS![rebelmouse-image 18346587 is_animated_gif=
I couldn't see myself being straight.
BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY![rebelmouse-image 18977535 is_animated_gif=
I've been blind since birth and extremely gay. You know when you see someone and are attracted to them? It's kind of like that but I can't see.
IT'S ALL UNIVERSAL.[rebelmouse-image 18977536 is_animated_gif=
People are attracted to voices, personality, pheromones and physical touch. What kind of bodies do you want to feel? Etc. Sexuality is not strictly visual. But I'm a woman so maybe the male experience is much different
BE TACTILE.[rebelmouse-image 18977537 is_animated_gif=
I felt around.
THE ETERNAL QUESTION.[rebelmouse-image 18348693 is_animated_gif=
And now I want to know the answer to a question I never fathomed existing.
LISTEN TO BOB.[rebelmouse-image 18977539 is_animated_gif=
Hi, this is Bob, the fellow who wrote the article about being blind and gay. A friend is helping me navigate the website. I have a few things to say. First of all, I want to thank the person who put my article on this website. I wrote the article quite a long time ago and was surprised to suddenly receive a few emails from people who had recently read my article. I was also very touched by the interest my article attracted. I originally wrote the article hoping to make new friends and contacts. Unfortunately, this did not happen. Many people read the article and liked it but they didn't keep in touch with me. Now that the article has appeared again, I am hoping to meet some new people.
My situation has stayed pretty much the same. I no longer have a guide dog and I'm quite a bit older :) I am now 67 years old.
Some have suggested that my situation proves that being gay is not a choice. I agree with this 100%. When I was 11 or 12, I didn't really understand the difference between boys and girls. To me, they were the same except that men turned me on and women didn't. I did not know about body parts and yet, I was attracted to my same sex. Because of my unique situation, I can tell you that being gay is not a choice.
I would like to mention the fact that there are many blind people who once had sight and became blind later in life. Their situation is very different from mine because they grew up sighted. There are some blind people who lost their sight at an early age, but again, they have memories that I do not have. I am among a small minority of blind people who have never seen at all. People sometimes ask me, "Do you see dark? Do you see black?" The answer is no, because I don't know what black is, I don't know what light is, I don't know what colors are. So when I meet someone, what I go by is their voice, their smell, their kindness, and their willingness to help me when needed. Probably one advantage of being blind and gay is that I get to walk with all my friends arm in arm and nobody says anything. Sometimes, I will even hold a person's hand. But since I am blind, no one questions why :)
I want to encourage you to communicate with me and to feel free to ask questions. But I want something more! I want you to try to get to know me and not just think of me as a source of information about an unusual topic. What I mean is this: many people have read my article, they tell me they liked it, they say they've never thought about a person in my situation, they thank me for writing it, but then, nothing happens. I know I won't have something in common with every person on this site, but I want to encourage you to ask not only about my situation, but to tell me about your situation. Again, I am truly grateful for the wonderful responses I have received and I look forward to getting to know more about you. I will stop for now, as my poor friend is probably getting tired of typing.
Warm hugs to you all, Bob
IT'S ALL THE SENSES.[rebelmouse-image 18977540 is_animated_gif=
I had a friend who was gay and blind, what struck me the most is how he was fearless about going to dates from grindr. It was very hard for him to choose who to talk with on it because people rely so much on photos on this app and sometimes doesn't even write something about them in the bio. So he chatted with some guys found the one with he connected to, then send a photo and meet the guy in a metro station and wait for the guy to find him. It would always scare me, but he never had bad situations, only some guy who never showed up, or some who didn't like the fact he was blind, because he didn't always tell in fear of immediate rejection. I helped him choose a good photo for grindr, and secretly photoshop it a little to remove a small imperfection. I always loved to be the one who guide him within a group of friends, he takes your lower arm to follow you and I would describe what I saw and tell him the cute guys I would see.
He told me that the only advantage of being blind that its boyfriend could pass for its guide and take its hand and people would never say anything or give strange look compared to two sighted guys.
I asked him how did he knows he was gay, and it was along the lines that he discovered he would prefer to be affectionate with men, prefer men's voice and company. He was very open about it with its blind friends, and Internet and forums clearly helped him a lot.
THIS IS "THE VOICE!"[rebelmouse-image 18977541 is_animated_gif=
Not blind, but I imagine I would know I was gay because I would find a man's voice sexier than a woman's. I would imagine I would get to know other guys and have crushes on them , since you don't need to see someone to get to know them through conversation and eventually find their personality attractive.
IT'S ALL OF YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18977542 is_animated_gif=
My brother was born blind and has come out as gay recently (he's 21). As other people on here have mentioned, there's much more to sexual attraction than just visual aspects. As he explained to me, in middle school and high school he just started to notice that he was more attracted to boys than girls- their deeper voices, assertiveness, and masculine scent. He also found people who were interested in "boy" stuff like sports, guns, video games, etc. to be more interesting and attractive than people who were into the stereotypical things females like. He actually went to a high school for the blind and was on the wrestling team there (ha yes there is such a thing) his junior and senior years. As funny as it sounds, it was there he fully discovered his affection for other males once he became physical with them on the wrestling mat.
BLIND PEOPLE STILL SEE AND SMELL...[rebelmouse-image 18977543 is_animated_gif=
As a blind gay person, I can answer this because I was legally blind and now I am totally blind.
In all other aspects, this question is stupid to be honest. That's how I knew what sex I was attracted to because I found the idea of a male body, male voice, male hair, sexually arousing.
When I was legally blind I liked the build of men and the touch of a man's body and hands. I like muscles on a man and I liked, when I could see some, men with tans because they also were easier to see, but that's beside the point.
For me, voice and hands are very much my defining basis. There's little things I evaluate like how hairy a guy is or how tall he is, I like men who are taller than I am, by the way, if his face has a nice shape, and yes, I do feel faces but it's when I know them a bit longer and when I want to learn more about this very hot sounding man I am attracted to. I don't go about feeling dudes faces randomly and every time I meet a person.
This is true for me now, but it was also true when I was legally blind. Since I can't look at pictures anymore, I have to depend on solely how they execute their thoughts in an email or text message or anywhere online. Written communication is a huge factor in my dating decisions. If you can't hold my interest with sentences and paragraphs and you'd rather just write one worded replies to my messages, chances are, you won't go out with me. I won't ask you to go out with me. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but I am firm when it comes to my tastes. If you can't articulate a complete thought or an idea in an email or Facebook post, chances are I will lose interest in you very quickly.
But basically, my attractions hinge on the voice, the body build and how that appears to my touch, and how well you can verbally and textually communicate.
PROMOTE YOUR TRUTH ALL OVER.[rebelmouse-image 18977544 is_animated_gif=
Theory: Braille tape, stating their gender, on their penis.
I SEE YOU... FOR YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18977545 is_animated_gif=
But there's more to attraction than visual appeal.
Sound of their voice, their actual personalities and traits, and even the feel of other's bodies is probably what defines it for blind people.
REPRESENTATION![rebelmouse-image 18977546 is_animated_gif=
Upvote for visibility!
Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.