Growing up, it was very veeeeery clear that my brother was the favorite. He was the only boy and born sick, so from infancy he was the snuggle-bug, the one everyone needed to take care of, the one who got all the leeway and none of the discipline.
I'm clearly not the only one with some experience here. Reddit asked:
and holy CRAP all the "less-loved" siblings of internet popped up to air their grievances. It wasn't just them, though. Favoritism happens in families, but it also happens in schools, workplaces and at least one super suspicious raffle.
Sketchiness. Shenanigans. Sibling rivalries. It's all here, it's all infuriating.
One of my classmates always got better scores on comparable essays in a high school literature class. I suggested it was favoritism so we decided to write each other's papers to see what happened. Our study found that no matter who wrote the paper, if I turned it in I got a worse grade than if she turned it in.
A New Team Member
My nephew's school had two students who won a contest all by themselves. They got a chance to meet the prime minister and show their work. But at the last moment, the principal insisted to add his daughter in the team.
Growing up, my stepbrother was obviously my stepmother's favorite child. He could get away with anything. I'm fairly certain she's never actually punished him for anything, and he was well aware of this.
The most blatant case of this was when the nanny software on his computer caught him searching for porn, so immediately my stepmother goes after me; accusing me of going onto his computer to search for porn.
He was also definitely her favorite over my stepsister, but she was barely ever around. She lived with her dad full time because it was way closer to the school she went to (it was like an hour commute every day from our house to the schools my step-siblings went to) so it never really came up with her.
My dad acknowledged her bias, but also told me there wasn't really anything he could do about it. It's not like she was treating me abusively. If something wasn't actually my fault the accusation wouldn't stick, and I didn't get particularly harsh punishments when I did do something, it was just that my brother never got any punishments for anything.
Joke's on them though, now I'm her favorite because I'm the only one of her children that isn't an a$$hole.
My grandma always yelled at my cousins, but she always pampered me and bragged about me to others. She didn't even try to hide that difference in treatment and I HATED IT when that happened. Even little-child-me recognized and despised it very much.
Obviously my relationship with my cousins wasn't good - till now.
My grandma always did that to my sister and I, she would tell me I was ugly and tan and how my sister was the lighter skinned, pretty one. I was 11 and she was 17 so, I didn't get why she compared us. It made the relationships with my sister complicated and I hated her for years.
- When I was 16, my 13-year-old sister got a brand new cellphone. I never had a phone, and I still didn't at the time.
- I worked 3 jobs in college just to survive. My parents paid my sister's tuition, rent, and bills. They also got her a brand new car. I spent my college years working and using public transportation. My sister spent hers partying and going on road trips with her brand new car.
- When I graduated college, I got nothing. My sister got a brand new MacBook, which was stolen a few months later because she left it in her unlocked car.
- My mother constantly told my sister that she loved her growing up. My mother only said it to me once, in the context of "I love you, but I don't like you".
I have plenty more of these stories. And, no, I don't speak with my parents or sister anymore. I went no contact with my entire family a couple years ago. It's been lonely, but so much more peaceful. I'm in therapy to heal from all the abuse my family put me through. (What I posted is only the tip of the tip of the iceberg).
My sister is a mess, honestly. She can't hold down a job, and she's awful with her finances. She's 31 and my mother does everything for her. Pays her bills, raises her kid, and so on. My sister is going nowhere in life, and I think it's partly because my mother enabled her too much growing up and she never learned how to be self-reliant. Not my problem anymore! :)
Out Of Business
At the end of our senior party (that was organized by my school) there was a raffle with a bunch of expensive prizes. Every single parent who "helped organize" the raffle just so happened to have a child who won big.
The main organizer's son won the $2500 grand prize with the not-at-all-suspicious speech of "and of course, the winner of the grand prize is Charlie."
Yeah f*ck that sh*t, I walked out with a five dollar gift card to an ice cream shop that had already gone out of business.
So, for a while, my dad decided that he could get more work out of us if he got us to compete to be named his favorite.
Basically the rules he laid out were that if you did something good enough, you were there favorite until someone else did something, and there was some kind of ill-defined benefit to being the favorite that he hadn't decided on yet.
Fast forward a bit, and he had fucked up his company web site because he was experimenting in the production environment like an idiot. He asked me for help, so I did.
He didn't let me touch anything, and insisted I stand there while he fiddled with random controls in Drupal hoping to stumble across the right one because he's afraid of reading logs. That took a few hours. Then he went to the bathroom and I checked the logs, which led me right to the problem, so I fixed it. It definitely saved him time, probably saved him money, and possibly saved his job. I was named favorite.
10 minutes later, my sister comes in from mowing the lawn and now she's the favorite.
It wasn't really a big deal. The only benefit of being the favorite for my brother and I was that he wouldn't insult you for not being the favorite. When I was favorite though, he still made fun of me for being at his beck and call. My sister got things like hugs and pats on the back when she was the favorite, but fewer when she wasn't.
Shortly after the web site incident, we all decided that the whole thing was stupid and agreed not to do anything special for him in the hopes that he'd forget about the whole thing. Instead he got angry that we weren't climbing over each other to do him favors. At first he just lowered the bar for "good deeds", so we just stopped doing anything for him at all.
He got pissed that we weren't competing, so he announced that my sister was favorite again because I didn't buy him a soda and he wanted me to defend my title. Then he got angry that nobody cared. Then he sat in his chair and grumbled about that for a while, and he's mostly dropped it. Sometimes, he tries to bring it back, but it hasn't worked.
So, lessons learned:
- My sister is, and has always been, the real favorite.
- If you want people to compete, there needs to be something they all want to compete for.
- Something about either collusion or collective bargaining, depending on how you want to spin it. In any case, Apes together strong.
There was a woman at my old job. She was an absolute talentless b*tch with no social skills. She would constantly have a falling out with her coworkers because she was an annoying nosy idiot who couldn't keep her mouth shut.
However, her husband was really high up. He was a senior manager and extremely good at his job too. So whenever his wife screwed the pooch and people started complaining to their union representatives, she got hopped from her made-up position to a brand new made-up position.
Bullsh*t job posts like "head quality assurer" (spend all day sorting QA documents into folders), "head delivery expediter" (spend all day sorting invoices into folders), "head of product definition" (spend all day sorting project briefs into folders), and the like.
All jobs which paid management rates, but which could be done by a fresh business administration graduate for $10 an hour.
The only saving grace was that her husband knew his wife was useless, so he never leveraged his position to punish the people who complained. I don't know if he ever ran out of departments to put her in. Pretty much everyone hated her guts.
My senior year English teacher, I'll call her Ms. V, always had it out for me, I would never get higher than a c+ from her. I would even occasionally have my friend, who was in the same class, go over my work with me, paying special attention to punctuation, and my grade was still low. When I asked Ms. V why I got a D+ on an assignment she said it was a mix of both punctuation and my own stupidity.
One day my friend got an idea and she and I traded essays, neither of us edited the others paper at all except to change the name at the top. When we got our grades back I got a C- on my friends paper and my friend got an A- on my paper.
After getting the grades we waited after school to ask her about our grades. We explained what we had done and why. Ms. V accused me of plagiarism (which I guess technically I was guilty of) and I got a week of after school detention.
My friend got given hot cocoa and was told in soothing tones that if I ever threatened her, my friend, someone who has been my friend for longer than I can remember. like that again she should come straight to the Ms. V and say something. Also my friend was told that keeping company like me was bad for her image.
Apparently Ms. V thought I had swapped the names on my own and threatened my friend into saying she had agreed to the swap.
Quit Via Post-ItGiphy
Applied for a promotion after 2 years with the company. I was very qualified, experienced, and trained many new employees. Many colleagues even expressed to the manager that I should be chosen. The hiring manager chose someone without a GED/diploma (a requirement for her current position), had none of the qualifications I had, and colleagues couldn't stand being in the same room as her.
She quit soon after in the middle of her shift via post-it note.
Hard To Stomach
I babysit for this woman who has two children: 5 and 3. Her oldest will scream and shout and throw tantrums out the ass. Lasts for 30 minutes to an hour. She just talks to her in the sweetest tone and sometimes open threats but gives her whatever she wants. But her youngest, she will send to her room and hits her with a spoon. The oldest NEVER gets this treatment.
Her excuse? "She's been through a lot. Her dad left when she was 1 and the youngest doesn't know him at all. It's really hit her hard so I have to be patient with her." The youngest is the sweetest child, always has manners and listens wonderfully. But the oldest is a spoiled brat and it drives me nuts that she doesn't see what she's doing to her kids.
One example of three nights ago. I came over to babysit at 12 am. The youngest was sitting in her room refusing to sleep, not crying. When she heard my voice, she ran out to me excited. She immediately grabbed the spoon and threatened her and she cried and went to her room. The oldest was screaming from the moment I walked in and was begging mom not to leave.
"You want milk? You want to sleep in my bed? You want mommy to lay with you for a minute?" Instead of letting me handle it, she was late for work trying to coax her into stopping.
Meanwhile, her youngest is in the other room, silently crying and not screaming like her sister. This is all of the time, the favoritism. One sleeps with her mom every night and the other one sleeps in her room by herself. It's hard for me to stomach every time I see the favoritism.
No Point In Debating
In high school my sister was on the debate team. They would travel around and debate other school's teams. It was all good fun, went out for pizza after no matter if they won or lost etc.
This year it was an exceptionally good team. They were just blazing through the opposition, had never lost. Then they were up against a prestigious private school's team. Normally the contested are judged by representatives from both schools, with disagreements adjudicated by a neutral third part who reviews footage of the debate.
My sister's team absolutely smoked them. Like, there was no question that the public school had won. But the representative from our school couldn't make it at the last minute, so it was only the representative from the prestigious school judging, who announced that their school's team had won. There was no way a school that charged enormous fees could stand the humiliation of being beaten by public school kids. The other team absolutely knew it too. They were all looking at the ground, and the captain actually apologised as he was shaking the hand of our members.
By mutual agreement the entire team disbanded after that match. There didn't seem to be any point in competing any more when the winner was determined by postcode rather than skill.
My research group had to answer questions about our paper. I answered almost all of the questions, but not one judge made eye contact with me. I would be answering their question, and they would just look at another member and ask another question.
Even though it may not seem much, I cried about this when I went to sleep for the night. Ever since then, I've questioned my importance in everyone else's lives.
It's easy to get caught up in the past.
...so long as we knew what time of day it was going to be on.
What's something nostalgic for your age group?
Video games today are horrible!
Give us a 2-dimensional side-scroller of an Italian plumber fighting a dragon monster and nothing else good for many more years after that. Who needs all these fantastic releases, year in and year out, every year?
How Do We Enable "Big Head Mode?"
"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start"
"My toddler son has a toy game controller that plays a little jingle if you put this code in. I loved that they put that little Easter egg into a kids toy and it makes my husband smile every time he does it."
When Was This Old? *cries in tired old man
"Anytime recently I've tried to get back into Minecraft it breaks my heart because the game just feels so different now. I played it from 2010 up until 2018 or 19 almost religiously, but the past couple years have really changed the game. I'm sure it's just as fun to play now, but it doesn't have that same nostalgia factor anymore like it used to."
Tests Of Parenthood
"Neopets in 2005"
"My girlfriend at the time made me take care of one as a test for being a father. Literally."
Some things you long for aren't actually possible to do anymore, leading to the reasoning this is why the nostalgia is at an all-time high. What's worse than missing something that no longer exists?
The Smell, The Sounds, The Sights, The Ambience
"Going to Blockbuster with my friends on a Friday"
"Renting cheesy horror movies and making fun of them with the group!"
You Can Miss That?
"Dial up modem noises"
"Kiiiiiiiiiiii…kiiuuuu…kiiiuuuu.. it was something like that right? I even forgot."
"And then I used to open yahoo login page and do some other work for few minutes and come back while it loads, and then enter id password, hit login and then get a coffee until it loads."
Illegal, But, Yeah
"I remember the really early days of mp3 sharing, before P2P came along. There were hundreds of FTP servers that you could connect to with huge libraries of mp3s. No domain name, just a raw IP address that you found somewhere on usenet."
"But they couldn't just give it away, because then everyone would take and nobody would give. So they had quota systems: you'd upload an mp3, and for every byte you uploaded, you'd get to download 2, or 3, or maybe even 5. And this was over dialup, so uploading or downloading a single file could take 30 minutes."
"But it was FTP. Very simple and dumb. There was no memory of your "credits" between sessions, so if you uploaded a bunch of stuff and then lost your connection, you were SOL."
"It amazes me to think how much time I spent getting a few songs that today I can play any time I want on Spotify."
For some people, this next section will sound silly.
For others, this was our childhood, which sadly (when you really think about it) revolved around a television schedule we had no input on, meaning we had to plan everything out around when the next episode of Power Rangers aired.
Cartoons After School Are The Best
"Anime on Toonami. Cartoon Cartoon Fridays"
"Toonami had really great western cartoons as well. I loved watching Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Teen Titans, and Clone Wars on Toonami growing up."
"Old Cartoon Network, spiky gelled hair"
"Old Cartoon Network" is an interesting answer because people are gonna have different ideas about what "Old Cartoon Network" is. I think of Ed, Edd n Eddy and Codename: Kids Next Door. Another commenter mentioned Gumball which is still well after my time."
When Life Revolved Around Someone Else's Schedule
"Born in the 70s, grew up in the 80s...I remember huddling around the TV as a family to watch certain things."
"For some reason, they would show The Wizard of Oz every year on network tv..and it was a big deal. My mom would make popcorn...in a pot on the stove (It was the 80's) and we'd sit on a blanket on the floor and watch."
Or Friday Nights....Dukes of Hazzard (when it was new). Mom would get takeout from Burger Chef...and we'd sit on the floor eating hamburgers watching 'dem Duke Boys at it again."
"Or in the summer....they'd show Creature from the Black Lagoon 3D on tv. 7-11 would give out free 3-D glasses."
"For the younger Redditors....this was well before any kind of streaming/on demand service...and back when cable TV and VCRs were still a luxury that a lot of people didn't have. So, you really only got to watch what was on the few channels that your antenna allowed."
"Another one is coming home from school to watch old shows like Gilligan's Island, The Munsters, The Addams Family, Batman, F-Troop."
"Or staying up late and at midnight....the TV would play the National Anthem....then show a control screen and just "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" like this: https://youtu.be/Cnchea6LHN0"
The good ol' days.
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When determining how to spend our life in a way that feels worthy, many place a heavy emphasis on experiences. We want to die with scars and stories.
And sticking our necks out inevitably leads to a whole lot of struggle. But that doesn't mean we wouldn't do the same thing the very next day if we could go back.
Some things, though we'll never do them again, were too important an experience to pass up.
Redditor JackIrishJack asked:
"What should you do once, but not twice?"
Many people talked about the life experiences, big and small, that influenced their outlook. They recommend people go through some discomfort to gain important awareness.
A Capacity for Empathy
"Working in the food industry I feel like everybody should do it once so they can have a respect for food workers but it's also a hell I never want to go through again"
Paying for a Daydream
"Buy a lottery ticket"
"You're not going to win, but buying a lottery ticket gives you the chance to dream and pretend. Having a second lottery ticket isn't going to make your dreams more vivid."
Plenty of Implications
"Visit Auschwitz. I firmly believe everyone should go visit it so as to not forget what humans are capable of doing to each other. But no need to visit twice. Once was enough for me."
Others brought up things which, if done twice, would be a sure sign that something is very very wrong.
Supposed To Be Permanent
"Learning how to walk. The first time - good on you. Having to
relearn a second time means something went terribly wrong."
Only Two Sets
"Lose all of your teeth" -- Outrageous_Cream_112
"Haha I had to think about this for a second" -- ApplesauceDoctr
Don't Wanna Find Yourself There Too Often
"Get beaten half to death breaks the concepts of your limits. Second time breaks the spirit. Third time is overkill."
Others apparently viewed the question as an opportunity for a little cleverness.
If You're Good
"Cut...you measure twice before." -- wxguy215
"For me its more like 'measure twice, make sure it's just a teeny bit too long then go back and shave it off little by little until it wedges in perfectly' " -- pistpuncher3000
As the Saying Goes
"Fool me" -- Thia_suzieUzi
"FOOL ME THREE TIMES FU** THE PEACE SIGN LOAD THE CHOPPA LET IT RAIN ON YOU" -- nixusthegod
Only a Couple to Work With
"Donate a kidney" -- RealisticDelusions77
"Donate one kidney, you're a hero. Donate two kidneys, you're a corpse. Donate three kidneys, you're a felon." -- Drach88
"Be born. Going through the birthing process again would probably kill my mother." -- cylonrobot
Here's hoping we can all find the healthy balance between living a full, experienced life and punishing ourselves a little too much.
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Lies. Life and "wisdom" is littered with lies. Simple, everyday truths we tell ourselves and others are just a fabrication.
I know we want everyone to stay upbeat throughout our time on this Earth, but how desperate do we have to be to swallow some of this poppycock?
It gets better. Times heals wounds. Alcohol doesn't help with weight loss. I love you. Nonsense! Maybe I'm in a mood and exaggerating a smidge, but not by much. LOL
Redditor u/OptionsTrader14 wanted to gather up intel on what parts of popular chatter are just not up to snuff these days by asking:
What popular sayings are actually bulls**t?
Seriously, looking back, how did we not start questioning the origins of these sayings long before we tried to implement them? Or at least when we reached ages when we should know better. Cue the gaslight...
I'll take an Orange!apples caities classroom GIF by Super SimpleGiphy
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Damn, the older I get, the more I wish it were that simple."
"Love is never having to say you're sorry." I think from the movie, Love Story. Stupid and ridiculous."
"Said to Ryan O'Neil in "Love Story." In "What's up Doc?" Barbara Streisand quotes the line to Ryan at the end and he replies: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard"
The past year it has been "We're in this together."
"NO F YOU!"
More than Twice
"The lightning never strikes twice in the same spot." Yes, it does. Especially if that spot is a high metal structure, it will be struck twice, even more than just two times."
"Without a lightning rod, these strikes would ground themselves through the building's wiring, or through the people working on one of its 103 floors, causing untold amounts of damage."
SnuffWhich Way Flex GIF by HollyoaksGiphy
"That'll buff right out."
I do love apples. And I don't have to see the doctor often, so maybe there is merit there. Plus that one is easy, somebody just wanted somebody else to eat healthier. Just say that! And I like to focus on a different kind of buff.
like an adult...cry baby GIFGiphy
"Sleep like a baby. A more accurate description for it would be pissed the bed twice and woke up screaming."
"We're all in the same storm together. But most of us are in rowboats, a bunch are treading water in the waves without so much as a life jacket. Meanwhile a handful are in their mega yachts looking down on everyone else, talking about how terrible the storm is."
"Finish what you started. No, sometimes the thing I started was a bad idea and maybe I should do something I like better."
"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Well, I do what I love and I'm an unemployed alcoholic. Somehow, I don't think whoever said that first had this in mind."
"Do you really love it if it involves a lot of tasks you hate? I feel like that's just a job you don't love if you're not enjoying the bulk of it. Sounds just like you love the results of it, love the impact, not that you enjoy the day to day. Then you're just not doing what you love on a day to day basis."
"I've had a lot of jobs I hated and loved, currently love. It makes a HUGE difference, between being depressed and not. I knew my life would be way better when I found a good job I loved. Now I'm getting over alcoholism and cut way the heck down, and don't feel like I need to drink to cope."
"The "never work a day in your life" just means you'll never feel that stress of hating your job every day like many do. It doesn't literally mean you won't work, just that those stresses of work will be so unimportant and not make you feel like crap."
At Capacitybrain power GIF by nogGiphy
"Teacher of mine have a good metaphor to illustrate the non sense. He said "areas of the brain not being all stimulated at the same time might sound like a non optimal way of using a machine."
"But now take a traffic light, we can say I works 1/3 of its capacity at time (one color represents a signal) and if it worked 100% all the time, putting all the colors at once, you agree it could be very dangerous for the traffic right?"
That baby one is so true. I never thought about that one. And now I'm going to stockpile a list of sayings and begin origin research. Expose the lies! And just use common sense.
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Whenever I visit clothing stores, I make it a point to fold the clothes I unfurl. That is apparently my downfall as a customer.
Because of this, fellow customers often peg me as an employee and always ask me questions like where the bathroom is, or if the store has certain sizes left in stock.
Umm, no, I don't work here. I'm just a responsible customer. As you were.
Many of us make assumptions about other people just by looking at them. Who knew we were so presumptuous?
Curious to hear the experiences of strangers online, Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What do people assume about you, based on your appearance?"
People often misinterpret moods based on how someone looks. That's unfair, wouldn't you say?
"That I'm caring and supportive. I have a resting nice face."
"That I am always mad. Nope just dissociating and staring off into space."
Not Meaning To Be Mean
"That I'm mean. I have a resting mean face for a dude I guess. Also lately it's worse because I'm bigger now. I don't really notice how my face appears but apparently, I seem angry when I'm looking at stuff."
"'You should smile' and 'are you ok?' comments followed me from busboy, waiter, bartender my whole career."
When it comes to measuring intelligence of others, some people are just way off.
Hard To Live Up To Expectations
"That I'm clever. People keep saying it to me, but I'm dumb and that sh*t is hard to live up to."
"I have glasses."
Eyes Full Of Wisdom
"I apparently have something similar going on mixed with looking like I know sh*t, because people come up to me in public and ask about directions, bus schedules and stuff all the time. Like, they'll deliberately avoid other people to ask me. Including when I'm abroad and should look a bit out of place."
"They assume I have an intellectual disability. (And also that I'm deaf, since I'm not able to speak.)"
"No, I am a person with two university degrees who happen to need a wheelchair because of a nasty neurological illness."
People don't always look their age. Some don't even act their age. But these Redditors have gotten their fair share of wrong guesses for their ages.
"That I'm 15."
"I'm 38 and a doctor. 'Did you just finish school?' EVERY DAY."
"This thread was depressing to read as I am 38 but often get mistaken for 50. I hate y'all and your youthful beauty."
Some people are typed out as certain types of people with just one look.
Watch Your Tone
"That I have a southern accent. Not one stranger has ever suspected that I have a 'New Jersey' accent (Born and raised in New Jersey before moving south)"
Not A Biker
"That I ride a Harley and/or work on them. I'm bald with a long goatee and tons of tattoos, but I'm in IT for a living and don't ride motorcycles at all."
Like others have expressed in the thread, I've also been accused of having "resting b*tch face."
You know, that neutral expression where you're not smiling the one time you're not in a situation where you have to be "on" for other people?
Yeah, that one.
If someone's resting face comes across as unfriendly, well, perhaps it's best not to upset them by asking them what's wrong all the time. Just sayin'.