My first job was at Ross. I was in high school, I was young and naive - far too young and naive for the horrors that awaited me the first day I was asked to help clean out the fitting rooms. Our store didn't have restrooms open to the public, though we would let customers use them if they asked - particularly women with children. Unfortunately, several customers decided there was no point in asking, they would just help themselves to use the fitting rooms as bathrooms. Diapers, menstrual products, and urine puddles were pretty common. Nothing could prepare us for the "Black Friday Incident of 1998"
The store was jam packed - obviously. It was Black Friday and it was Ross. We were swamped, there were three fights and one woman went into labor. But that wasn't even the bad part. The bad part came when the lone attendant at the fitting rooms grabbed the phone, hit the loud speaker button and let out a wail for help... and a few expletives.
"Oh HELL F^CK NAW. IF Y'ALL DON'T GET ME A MANAGER AND SOME GLOVES RIGHT NOW I AM LEAVING!"
One of the three managers on duty ran to her aid expecting maybe an influx of people that was too much to handle ... but no. Someone had used the men's fitting room to release their Black Friday anguish through their bowels. It was on the mirrors, the carpet, the fitting room walls, splashed into the next fitting room stall ... and they had used a few onesies from the baby department to wipe. Then they'd just left, leaving the employees - mostly high school kids and older ladies - to clean it all up. It was atrocious. The fitting rooms had to be closed, which made customers irate.
One Reddit user asked:
Retail workers of Reddit, what's your Black Friday horror story?
And yeah... there's mine. Here are a few more for your "enjoyment" - some responses have been edited for clarity or content.
Manual Transactions
GiphyI worked for a golf superstore as a cashier. Black Friday customers come rushing in and the line starts. I proceed to scan the first item and nothing... the registers are completely down and the lines are growing fast. The only thing we could do is take every transaction manually. Write down SKU's, calculate tax, and use the old credit card swipers for 3 hours. I never worked retail during Black Friday again.
Follow The Leader
GiphyWorked at a store that had a service department. They couldn't ring up anything at the service counter but they had a computer which made it look like a register. Guy is standing there patiently waiting to be rung up. Finally somebody notices him and asks what he needs. "I'd like to pay." he says. "I'm sorry this isn't a register" replies the service tech. The guy then proceeds to try and convince the service tech to let him pay because the line for the main registers is three hours long. Of course the service tech couldn't because he didn't have a register. He just had a computer for making appointments and such. So after 15 minutes of argument the guy moves off to find the line.
Here's the fun part: While he was arguing somebody else saw him standing by something that looked like a register and so got in line behind him. Then people saw the shorter line and got in behind them. With nobody to control it the line to nowhere grew quickly. 15 minutes was all it took for the not-line to snake all the way around the department. So when the doofus who started this whole fiasco went to find the right line he found the end of the line he had started. Then the guy behind him heard that there wasn't a register so he followed the first guy. Then the next customer followed the 2nd and so on. They walked around in a circle for an hour before somebody noticed them.
We almost had a riot when a manager had to tell 100 people that they weren't in line and had just waited an hour for nothing. That same year we had several scuffles at points where the register line had forked into two lines. From then on we marked off a huge register path and had several employees just manage the line.
A Very Jazzy Jinglebells
GiphyAbout 15 years ago, I was working at a book store in a mall. Somehow, around 5pm maybe, I found myself the only employee in the entire store--not a single coworker to be found, and we were slammed with customers. We usually had music playing in the store, controlled by an ordinary 5-CD stereo in the back office, and of course this is the day the inoffensive holiday music gets brought into circulation.
Around the time I found myself alone, I noticed the stereo had become stuck on repeat, just playing the same song over and over. It was at least an hour before I was able to get away from the counter, and so that was the day I was forced to listen to some kind of generic "A Very Jazzy Jinglebells" some 30 times back to back.
- HeyNomad
A Couch, A Prius, and Some Twine
GiphyI sold a couch to a guy who drove a Prius with no roof-rack.
We do not deliver and he wouldn't leave until WE found a way to get this thing secured to his car somehow. Not only had he clearly not planned ahead or thought it through, he was a total jerk about it and insisted on making it our problem. We ended up using half a spool of twine to tie this thing down and he had to climb in through the window because the twine went through his doors. I REALLY wish I had taken a picture. At one point he complained to our GM, who had no idea what we were supposed to have done to appease this moron. Finally, we insisted that he sign a waiver before leaving because we were not about to be held responsible for his own stupidity.
Of course, this was also during the busiest part of the day. I don't mind helping load or tie down for customers, but this guy took the cake.
Trampoline Theft
GiphyI worked at Wal-mart during Black Friday about 12-13 years ago. The hot items that year were $10 DVD players and trampolines. The DVD players were stacked on two tables near the registers and the trampolines were in sporting goods.
I'm walking to the receiving area in the back and someone from sporting goods asks if I can grab a U-boat( or L-cart) to load up the last trampoline. I had to go all the way to grocery to get one and as I'm coming back, someone asks about an item so I walk two feet away from my cart and some woman grabs it and runs towards sporting goods. I get there and the woman and husband are loading up the trampoline and it wasn't even for them. The other lady that had it and purchased it(had receipt and all, just needed a carryout) said "Hey, that's mine" and the husband got in her face and said "What are you gonna do about it, b!tch?"
They started to walk off and I was shocked at that point and the husband looked at me and said "what's YOUR problem?" I just smiled and told the sporting good guy to call management. The husband then said "Run, honey!" And they booked it to the front. They made it out of the store with the trampoline too.
Then I get to the front near the $10 DVD players. One older woman grabs the last one left on one of the two tables. Another lady grabs the same one. They scuffle. One lady decks the other one into the other table FULL of $10 DVD players and they all fall over and she runs.
Never again.
"So He Took Off His Pants And Started To Fight"
I worked at a restaurant that is right across the street from the mall (And open black friday) so naturally after people get great deals on whatever they come eat.
Anyway, I'm sitting in back of the house Black Friday morning, waiting for my inevitably long shift to start. It was incredibly busy as it was but I wasn't about to clock in early. I was BSing with one of the managers when I heard a hostess scream through the walkie "HELP HELP!"
So I immediately rush to the entrance to see two grown men on the ground fighting, one in nothing but his underwear, and my shift lead trying to pull them off each other while screaming "THIS IS A FAMILY RESTAURANT THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!"
I jolted forward in an attempt to break up the fight. This is where it gets weird. Everyone is gathered around this small area watching or trying to help when someone grabbed a fire extinguisher and started spraying us with it. So we have a bunch of people trying to break up a fight between a man in his underwear and some other dude and someone spraying us with a fire extinguisher while we have Christmas carols playing in the background. Finally we get the fight broken up. Cops show up. The whole 9 yards.
Guy1 got the last TV/voucher from Best Buy and Guy2 was very angry about that. So he followed him over to the restaurant to try and buy the TV from him. Guy1 told Guy2 to f^ck off so Guy2 took off his pants and started to fight Guy1.
Child Abandonment
GiphyI worked at a toy store in the mall. Really fancy mall, and we only sold one brand of toys. Anyways, we were all about interacting with the parents and especially making the kids feel special. It was probably the best place in retail to work, not gonna lie. If I could have had full time with benefits, I'd have stayed.
Anyhow, early December a woman comes into the store with her two children - probably aged 5 and 7, no older than that. I overhear her say "I'll be back, stay here." and she just leaves them. Not a word to us, she just vanishes. Within minutes it got busy -- as in, 50 customers plus kids. There are only 3 employees in the store: two on register, then there's me...the shift manager...supposed to be helping people shop.
There is no way I'm taking my eyes off of these kids, but there are too many people here. Five minutes go by. Then ten. Then fifteen. I'm checking in with these little dudes to see how they're holding up. They're just fine, but I'm the type who takes 100% responsibility for children in my store. I call mall security because I'm freaking out about the need to watch them. At this point, I have to make a return and do a bunch of customer-maintenance. No way to keep track of the kids.
Turns out mall security called the cops. The officers show up about 25 minutes after this lady left her kids - the lady officer gets down and makes small talk with the boys while the man waits outside. Things slow to a crawl in the store, so my fellow employees entertain the boys while I speak with the officers. Apparently their mother had gone to THE OTHER MALL ACROSS THE EFFING 4-LANE STREET. At 7:30pm. During crazy-busy shopping time.
She eventually did come back for them, but it had been close to an hour. And in Ohio, that is way past what counts as child abandonment. I dunno what happened to her/them, but all I remembered is the shock of "who the hell thinks that's a good idea" and "omg is she going to jail" while I watched the officers escort her and her children away.
Extreme Couponers
GiphyI worked as a cashier at Target two years ago on Black Friday.
About midnight, two....large women....come to my register with four carts piled with things that they "had coupons for." Just imagine 40 bottles of shampoo, 50 sticks of deodorant, 25 two liters of soda, etc. all just piled in there.
I take a deep breath and began scanning items. and The total was somewhere around $800. One of them pulls out a wad of slightly damp coupons from her bra. Stifling the urge to vomit I accept the sweaty wad and proceed to scan/attempt to scan roughly 200 coupons. After doing about 20 of them with only 3 or 4 working, I decided to look at the coupons and sort them into expired and non-expired, as well as coupons from other stores that we didn't take. We would take manufacturers coupons AND target coupons, but we wouldn't take a bed bath and beyond coupon, for example.
About 20 minutes later (some coupons were hard to make out because of the dampness) and the ladies insisting I sort through them all, I finalized the tally and proceeded to scan the maybe 30 coupons that were valid/acceptable. The ladies realize that the pile is significantly shorter than it should have been and start yelling at me about the lack of coupons. I explain the situation and continue scanning and then putting them away in the register. The lovely part came when the ladies realized their total was only reduced to around $700.
Screaming that I was trying to scam them, one lady demanded I scan all the coupons. I politely explained that I could not scan the majority due to them being expired or unusable at our store. She then asked what discounts I could give her. I said that I couldn't give her any besides the normal 5% if she payed with a RedCard; she began pulling at the neckline of her shirt asking if there was anything she could do to get a discount.
So I, again, politely refused and said if they had any more valid coupons I would be happy to scan them, otherwise their total was $X.XX.
Now the fun part.
The two decide their rights have been infringed upon and begin screaming profanities, prompting the GSTL (General Sales Team Lead) and the two AP officers to come to my register rather quickly. Upon seeing people who looked in charge, the ladies began telling them how I failed to do my job, etc. After telling my boss what I did, she agreed with me and said that I was following the stores policy. The ladies then tipped over all four carts full of their sh!t spilling it all over the aisle, threw change at me and my GSTL and proceeded to waddle out of the store.
I quit right then and there, and am now loving my job at a bakery.
Lingerie And A Gun
GiphyI work at the largest lingerie retailer in the country. We had a security guard last night for the beginning of black Friday. A southern belle mother decided she didn't want to wait in a 50 person deep line and she would cut.
Our security guard asked her multiple times to step to the back of the line or leave. She proceeded to ream him with every curse word in the book, and ended by threatening him with a gun she had in her bag.
This will be my last holiday in retail.
Uncle Ned's Biological Waste
GiphyWorked at a car wash in college. You'd think a car wash would be empty on Black Friday. Nope. We're busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, but we're keeping up. Then comes the minivan with puke all. over. his. dashboard.
By which I mean puke of mythological Biblical Proportion.
Apparently, the guy out selling the car washes was too busy to notice said puke, and put him in line. So, the guy makes it to us at the vacs. I see the puke on the dashboard as I start to slide open the rear door.
...and that's when I see: it.
We're talking an honest-to-god pond of puke in the back. Turkey. Stuffing. Pumpkin pie. Grandma's own whipped potatoes and gravy. The driver says,
"Uncle Ned had too much to drink yesterday, so my brother offered to drive him home. Uncle Ned upchucked first. That's when my niece lost it in the back seat, too. Do you think you're going to be able to get it up?"
Now, mind you, even if we were slow we wouldn't do it, but to pull shenanigans of this caliber when we're this busy? I'm about to go full ape sh!t and start clubbing him with my vac nozzle when my quick-thinking partner on vacs steps in and says, "Sorry, sir, our union contract prohibits us from removing biological waste."
Slams the door shut and sends the car down the conveyor. The guy stands there slack-jawed and stammers out, "I.... but I... I didn't even know car washes had unions."
"We do today." he grins and walks away.
H/T: Reddit
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
Join me...
Scandal
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555
Oh My Wow GIFGiphy"biggest disappointment"
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
Unfair_Biscotti2828
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
Creative_Recover
The Dead
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
valkyrieonaunicorn
"matriarch"
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
insertcaffeine
Everybody
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDregan
John Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphySounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
People Issues
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311
Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphySo Dumb
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
This_Personality3731
Liar Liar
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
UniqueUsername82D
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
Hello_Im_the_world
Maria?
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2Bach
Excited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphyWell the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
Floating
Relaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
gil_beard
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
Sanguiniutron
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
NnyIsSpooky
'migraine cocktail'
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
LarryLong*alls_
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
master_baitor12
Shake It
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
Quanisha8472
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
tevelis
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
wrichards12
The Itch
Scratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Existing-Seat5962
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!
Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Lime_Rose
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
Ok_Sprinkles_8777
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
curlyfat
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
Batcraft10
That Feeling
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
Apprehensive_Pen_793
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
cocoawhirl
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
Apprehensive_Bet_438
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
doodwhatsrsly
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
AngiesPhalanges
A Good Rest
dog puppy GIFGiphy"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
Puitzza
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
pitypuruty
I am enthralled by all of those things.
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duh
seth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
glorified_throwaway
Don't Minimize
"Everybody goes through that."
rukasu83
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
MasterOfRNoSleep
"They try to minimize it."
Previous_Ad7725
Stellar Advice
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
CrayolaSocks
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
HumanityIsACesspool
"physical health"
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
TheLastKirin
Relax
Calm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy"You need to calm down."
sorceress__stoned
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
LBIdockrat
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
Tips
Season 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
Mediocre_Ad8282
The Standard
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
allgamerprogram
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
NilPill
Be Faster
"'Stop being lazy.'"
LadyBirdLadyBirdLady
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
_Varien_
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
Ms_Schuesher
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
TheFrustrated
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
RisingPhoenix5271
'contamination'
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Zoooples
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.