My first job was at Ross. I was in high school, I was young and naive - far too young and naive for the horrors that awaited me the first day I was asked to help clean out the fitting rooms. Our store didn't have restrooms open to the public, though we would let customers use them if they asked - particularly women with children. Unfortunately, several customers decided there was no point in asking, they would just help themselves to use the fitting rooms as bathrooms. Diapers, menstrual products, and urine puddles were pretty common. Nothing could prepare us for the "Black Friday Incident of 1998"
The store was jam packed - obviously. It was Black Friday and it was Ross. We were swamped, there were three fights and one woman went into labor. But that wasn't even the bad part. The bad part came when the lone attendant at the fitting rooms grabbed the phone, hit the loud speaker button and let out a wail for help... and a few expletives.
"Oh HELL F^CK NAW. IF Y'ALL DON'T GET ME A MANAGER AND SOME GLOVES RIGHT NOW I AM LEAVING!"
One of the three managers on duty ran to her aid expecting maybe an influx of people that was too much to handle ... but no. Someone had used the men's fitting room to release their Black Friday anguish through their bowels. It was on the mirrors, the carpet, the fitting room walls, splashed into the next fitting room stall ... and they had used a few onesies from the baby department to wipe. Then they'd just left, leaving the employees - mostly high school kids and older ladies - to clean it all up. It was atrocious. The fitting rooms had to be closed, which made customers irate.
One Reddit user asked:
Retail workers of Reddit, what's your Black Friday horror story?
And yeah... there's mine. Here are a few more for your "enjoyment" - some responses have been edited for clarity or content.
Manual Transactions
GiphyI worked for a golf superstore as a cashier. Black Friday customers come rushing in and the line starts. I proceed to scan the first item and nothing... the registers are completely down and the lines are growing fast. The only thing we could do is take every transaction manually. Write down SKU's, calculate tax, and use the old credit card swipers for 3 hours. I never worked retail during Black Friday again.
Follow The Leader
GiphyWorked at a store that had a service department. They couldn't ring up anything at the service counter but they had a computer which made it look like a register. Guy is standing there patiently waiting to be rung up. Finally somebody notices him and asks what he needs. "I'd like to pay." he says. "I'm sorry this isn't a register" replies the service tech. The guy then proceeds to try and convince the service tech to let him pay because the line for the main registers is three hours long. Of course the service tech couldn't because he didn't have a register. He just had a computer for making appointments and such. So after 15 minutes of argument the guy moves off to find the line.
Here's the fun part: While he was arguing somebody else saw him standing by something that looked like a register and so got in line behind him. Then people saw the shorter line and got in behind them. With nobody to control it the line to nowhere grew quickly. 15 minutes was all it took for the not-line to snake all the way around the department. So when the doofus who started this whole fiasco went to find the right line he found the end of the line he had started. Then the guy behind him heard that there wasn't a register so he followed the first guy. Then the next customer followed the 2nd and so on. They walked around in a circle for an hour before somebody noticed them.
We almost had a riot when a manager had to tell 100 people that they weren't in line and had just waited an hour for nothing. That same year we had several scuffles at points where the register line had forked into two lines. From then on we marked off a huge register path and had several employees just manage the line.
A Very Jazzy Jinglebells
GiphyAbout 15 years ago, I was working at a book store in a mall. Somehow, around 5pm maybe, I found myself the only employee in the entire store--not a single coworker to be found, and we were slammed with customers. We usually had music playing in the store, controlled by an ordinary 5-CD stereo in the back office, and of course this is the day the inoffensive holiday music gets brought into circulation.
Around the time I found myself alone, I noticed the stereo had become stuck on repeat, just playing the same song over and over. It was at least an hour before I was able to get away from the counter, and so that was the day I was forced to listen to some kind of generic "A Very Jazzy Jinglebells" some 30 times back to back.
- HeyNomad
A Couch, A Prius, and Some Twine
GiphyI sold a couch to a guy who drove a Prius with no roof-rack.
We do not deliver and he wouldn't leave until WE found a way to get this thing secured to his car somehow. Not only had he clearly not planned ahead or thought it through, he was a total jerk about it and insisted on making it our problem. We ended up using half a spool of twine to tie this thing down and he had to climb in through the window because the twine went through his doors. I REALLY wish I had taken a picture. At one point he complained to our GM, who had no idea what we were supposed to have done to appease this moron. Finally, we insisted that he sign a waiver before leaving because we were not about to be held responsible for his own stupidity.
Of course, this was also during the busiest part of the day. I don't mind helping load or tie down for customers, but this guy took the cake.
Trampoline Theft
GiphyI worked at Wal-mart during Black Friday about 12-13 years ago. The hot items that year were $10 DVD players and trampolines. The DVD players were stacked on two tables near the registers and the trampolines were in sporting goods.
I'm walking to the receiving area in the back and someone from sporting goods asks if I can grab a U-boat( or L-cart) to load up the last trampoline. I had to go all the way to grocery to get one and as I'm coming back, someone asks about an item so I walk two feet away from my cart and some woman grabs it and runs towards sporting goods. I get there and the woman and husband are loading up the trampoline and it wasn't even for them. The other lady that had it and purchased it(had receipt and all, just needed a carryout) said "Hey, that's mine" and the husband got in her face and said "What are you gonna do about it, b!tch?"
They started to walk off and I was shocked at that point and the husband looked at me and said "what's YOUR problem?" I just smiled and told the sporting good guy to call management. The husband then said "Run, honey!" And they booked it to the front. They made it out of the store with the trampoline too.
Then I get to the front near the $10 DVD players. One older woman grabs the last one left on one of the two tables. Another lady grabs the same one. They scuffle. One lady decks the other one into the other table FULL of $10 DVD players and they all fall over and she runs.
Never again.
"So He Took Off His Pants And Started To Fight"
I worked at a restaurant that is right across the street from the mall (And open black friday) so naturally after people get great deals on whatever they come eat.
Anyway, I'm sitting in back of the house Black Friday morning, waiting for my inevitably long shift to start. It was incredibly busy as it was but I wasn't about to clock in early. I was BSing with one of the managers when I heard a hostess scream through the walkie "HELP HELP!"
So I immediately rush to the entrance to see two grown men on the ground fighting, one in nothing but his underwear, and my shift lead trying to pull them off each other while screaming "THIS IS A FAMILY RESTAURANT THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!"
I jolted forward in an attempt to break up the fight. This is where it gets weird. Everyone is gathered around this small area watching or trying to help when someone grabbed a fire extinguisher and started spraying us with it. So we have a bunch of people trying to break up a fight between a man in his underwear and some other dude and someone spraying us with a fire extinguisher while we have Christmas carols playing in the background. Finally we get the fight broken up. Cops show up. The whole 9 yards.
Guy1 got the last TV/voucher from Best Buy and Guy2 was very angry about that. So he followed him over to the restaurant to try and buy the TV from him. Guy1 told Guy2 to f^ck off so Guy2 took off his pants and started to fight Guy1.
Child Abandonment
GiphyI worked at a toy store in the mall. Really fancy mall, and we only sold one brand of toys. Anyways, we were all about interacting with the parents and especially making the kids feel special. It was probably the best place in retail to work, not gonna lie. If I could have had full time with benefits, I'd have stayed.
Anyhow, early December a woman comes into the store with her two children - probably aged 5 and 7, no older than that. I overhear her say "I'll be back, stay here." and she just leaves them. Not a word to us, she just vanishes. Within minutes it got busy -- as in, 50 customers plus kids. There are only 3 employees in the store: two on register, then there's me...the shift manager...supposed to be helping people shop.
There is no way I'm taking my eyes off of these kids, but there are too many people here. Five minutes go by. Then ten. Then fifteen. I'm checking in with these little dudes to see how they're holding up. They're just fine, but I'm the type who takes 100% responsibility for children in my store. I call mall security because I'm freaking out about the need to watch them. At this point, I have to make a return and do a bunch of customer-maintenance. No way to keep track of the kids.
Turns out mall security called the cops. The officers show up about 25 minutes after this lady left her kids - the lady officer gets down and makes small talk with the boys while the man waits outside. Things slow to a crawl in the store, so my fellow employees entertain the boys while I speak with the officers. Apparently their mother had gone to THE OTHER MALL ACROSS THE EFFING 4-LANE STREET. At 7:30pm. During crazy-busy shopping time.
She eventually did come back for them, but it had been close to an hour. And in Ohio, that is way past what counts as child abandonment. I dunno what happened to her/them, but all I remembered is the shock of "who the hell thinks that's a good idea" and "omg is she going to jail" while I watched the officers escort her and her children away.
Extreme Couponers
GiphyI worked as a cashier at Target two years ago on Black Friday.
About midnight, two....large women....come to my register with four carts piled with things that they "had coupons for." Just imagine 40 bottles of shampoo, 50 sticks of deodorant, 25 two liters of soda, etc. all just piled in there.
I take a deep breath and began scanning items. and The total was somewhere around $800. One of them pulls out a wad of slightly damp coupons from her bra. Stifling the urge to vomit I accept the sweaty wad and proceed to scan/attempt to scan roughly 200 coupons. After doing about 20 of them with only 3 or 4 working, I decided to look at the coupons and sort them into expired and non-expired, as well as coupons from other stores that we didn't take. We would take manufacturers coupons AND target coupons, but we wouldn't take a bed bath and beyond coupon, for example.
About 20 minutes later (some coupons were hard to make out because of the dampness) and the ladies insisting I sort through them all, I finalized the tally and proceeded to scan the maybe 30 coupons that were valid/acceptable. The ladies realize that the pile is significantly shorter than it should have been and start yelling at me about the lack of coupons. I explain the situation and continue scanning and then putting them away in the register. The lovely part came when the ladies realized their total was only reduced to around $700.
Screaming that I was trying to scam them, one lady demanded I scan all the coupons. I politely explained that I could not scan the majority due to them being expired or unusable at our store. She then asked what discounts I could give her. I said that I couldn't give her any besides the normal 5% if she payed with a RedCard; she began pulling at the neckline of her shirt asking if there was anything she could do to get a discount.
So I, again, politely refused and said if they had any more valid coupons I would be happy to scan them, otherwise their total was $X.XX.
Now the fun part.
The two decide their rights have been infringed upon and begin screaming profanities, prompting the GSTL (General Sales Team Lead) and the two AP officers to come to my register rather quickly. Upon seeing people who looked in charge, the ladies began telling them how I failed to do my job, etc. After telling my boss what I did, she agreed with me and said that I was following the stores policy. The ladies then tipped over all four carts full of their sh!t spilling it all over the aisle, threw change at me and my GSTL and proceeded to waddle out of the store.
I quit right then and there, and am now loving my job at a bakery.
Lingerie And A Gun
GiphyI work at the largest lingerie retailer in the country. We had a security guard last night for the beginning of black Friday. A southern belle mother decided she didn't want to wait in a 50 person deep line and she would cut.
Our security guard asked her multiple times to step to the back of the line or leave. She proceeded to ream him with every curse word in the book, and ended by threatening him with a gun she had in her bag.
This will be my last holiday in retail.
Uncle Ned's Biological Waste
GiphyWorked at a car wash in college. You'd think a car wash would be empty on Black Friday. Nope. We're busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, but we're keeping up. Then comes the minivan with puke all. over. his. dashboard.
By which I mean puke of mythological Biblical Proportion.
Apparently, the guy out selling the car washes was too busy to notice said puke, and put him in line. So, the guy makes it to us at the vacs. I see the puke on the dashboard as I start to slide open the rear door.
...and that's when I see: it.
We're talking an honest-to-god pond of puke in the back. Turkey. Stuffing. Pumpkin pie. Grandma's own whipped potatoes and gravy. The driver says,
"Uncle Ned had too much to drink yesterday, so my brother offered to drive him home. Uncle Ned upchucked first. That's when my niece lost it in the back seat, too. Do you think you're going to be able to get it up?"
Now, mind you, even if we were slow we wouldn't do it, but to pull shenanigans of this caliber when we're this busy? I'm about to go full ape sh!t and start clubbing him with my vac nozzle when my quick-thinking partner on vacs steps in and says, "Sorry, sir, our union contract prohibits us from removing biological waste."
Slams the door shut and sends the car down the conveyor. The guy stands there slack-jawed and stammers out, "I.... but I... I didn't even know car washes had unions."
"We do today." he grins and walks away.
H/T: Reddit
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
Dream On...
"She said:'
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMint
falling GIFGiphyBecause ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"Ear wax."
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196
Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphyIn Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40
Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyIgnorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
If Only...
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck
season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphyWhen people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?