Not every rule is current nor should it be followed.
Unfortunately, for the hell of it, some people just enforce clearly archaic and bizarre rules for their own comforts or thrills.
Most of these totalitarians can unfortunately be found in schools, working with kids. These people love to sweep kids away into the principal's office or to detention.
u/ChipFan111 asked:
What was the most bizarre school rule you had in your school?
Here were some of those answers.
Name-Calling
Our handbook stated that you could only address teachers as, "Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Dr., or Coach". The 60 year old woman (who was in no way involved with athletics) that taught biology tried to write a referral to one of my friends who insisted on calling her Coach for insubordination. Admin couldn't do anything about it, so they removed Coach from the list of acceptable names and re-issued the handbook.
Continuing Odd Rules
Around my last year of primary school (Brit here), they suddenly added a rule where you can't talk during your lunch. They said it was so we'd have more time to play afterwards, but you'd have to wait to be dismissed first so how long it takes to eat doesn't matter at all
At first everyone was silent apart from a few whispers behind the teachers backs, but then it transitioned into everyone talking quietly. I think the teachers gave in at that point as they said that we can talk as long as it's quiet, then everyone learned to gradually get louder so by the time I left it was back to normal level.
At my prep school I went to for a year after that, we managed to get Rock Paper Scissors banned, it's a long story...
So towards the end of the year I spent at my prep school, my year group was on a coach coming back from a school trip (each year was small enough to fit onto one coach - I think the entire school only had about 100 or so people), where behind me were two classmates were playing Rock Paper Scissors with a twist: if you get Rock you punch the other person, if Paper you slap them and if Scissors you pinch them. This didn't take long to spread around the whole year and eventually the whole school was doing it. It became so popular that in the last couple of weeks, the headteacher made an announcement in an assembly that [forgot what they called this version of Rock Paper Scissors] is banned as it was getting out of hand. I though this was fair enough but a second later the head said that because [said version of Rock Paper Scissors] comes from the original version, it will be banned in its entirety. After that everyone was talking about if they should do Rock Paper Scissors just to see if they get punished (doubt they would though)
Hair Don't Matter For School, Yo
I was told my hair was too long for school in I think it was 6th grade, so I shaved half my head. Was told it was a distracting hairstyle. I asked them to name the hairstyle and got detention. I then shaved the rest which wasn't what they wanted either apparently. I caught hell from a few teachers until it grew out some. Controlling a child's appearance is borderline abuse in my opinion. ESPECIALLY if you aren't their parent or guardian.
Blanket Actions
Two that both happened in high school: No high fives, as administration considered it bullying. They never once explained how, but it was.
They banned any drink that wasn't water or plain milk. They would actually check lunch bags as kids entered to make sure they weren't sneaking anything in. They were especially hard on hot beverages. The years before, high schoolers could have coffee/tea from home, but then they became convinced we were adding sugar to it and banned it. I was getting over laryngitis once and had a travel mug of hot water with honey and lemon like my doctor suggested, and the b*tch of a gym teacher snatched it and dumped it even though I had a doctor's note.
Bonus: we were a K-12 school. They gave 18 year old seniors the same size portions as 6 year old kindergarteners. Aka 3 chicken nuggets and four carrot sticks, then they'd b*tch at the older kids if they brought snacks and stuff to eat
Europeans Don't Have It All Figured Out
You had to finish all the food on your plate. The worst part was that my teacher made me put on foods that I didn't like eating, so I told her that I will get nauseous but she didn't listen. It didn't take long until I got so nauseous that I threw up all over the table.
Memes Forever
Not necessarily a bizarre rule, but in 8th grade my school literally had to remind everyone to only use their google drive for school purposes because some student used over a terabyte of storage for memes.
I wonder who it was, HDMemes
Public Parking Passes, Pshaw!
Off the top of my head, my high school had a rule that you had to register your car with the school if you wanted to drive to school. That wouldn't be totally weird until you consider that my high school was in a very urban area, and only had one small lot that was for faculty only. Students had to park on the street.
So in other words, we had to get a pass from the school in order to park on the public streets.
Chestnuts Forbidden
"Anyone caught with a chestnut gets suspended."
There was a chestnut tree (wild, "horse-chestnut") in the schoolyard, so one of the activities during recess was of course having chestnut wars. When they were in season, as soon as we'd get out, everyone would pick up as many as they found, take cover, and start launching them at each other. We were all often bruised by it but no one was a specific target, so it wasn't bullying. I guess we all saw it as more of a friendly sport. It was the status quo and the school didn't seem to mind much, until someone threw one so hard it cracked the window on a teacher's car. A kid admitted it was him but still, it turned into a big thing and they got strict about not allowing it.
After years and years of not seeing each other, a few months ago (by an unrelated sad circumstance), a handful of us from class got reunited for a lunch and walk about town. Someone mentioned the chestnut incident, and as we talked about it, one of the guys said "It was actually me who cracked that window, I'm sure of it. I threw that chestnut and followed it with laser focus until it hit that car by accident. I knew it was me but no one else did, and then the other kid admitted to it. I never learned why he did, but of course I never complained.
Knee Socks As A Punishment
Just to bear in mind, this was an all-girls grammar school:
Shoes could only be black, brown or navy blue. This also applied to hairbands (hair ties). No trainers (sneakers) or boots.
Socks (white or navy) had to be pulled up at all times.
Write only in fountain pen, pencil is allowed for notes or draft versions. If you make a mistake, cross it through with a ruler and put brackets around it.
You have to 'cover' your exercise books - most people used wrapping paper or sticky-backed plastic.
Paid Vacation
In 11th and 12th grade we had four "get out of jail cards" per half year. You could hand those in after missing up to two days without an excuse.
The problem was that if you were late for more than 45 minutes you had to use one of those. So if I overslept and calculated that I will miss more than 45 minutes I decided that I might as well stay home for a day or two. And I wasn't the only.
Jump Around!
We had a uniform and if you had your jumper (sweater) on you didn't have to wear the tie, but if you took your jumper off you had to wear a tie. Fair enough I guess.
But you had to ask permission from the teacher to take your jumper off and you had to wear your jumper between classes in the hallway. So on a summer's day you would have to ask 7 different teachers if you could take your jumper off, and they could say no. Even if you had a tie. It seems bizarre to me that teacher could tell literal adults (18 year olds) that they couldn't take their jumpers off.
Ye Olde Sexism
We were an all boys Grammar School, Liverpool UK. Next to our school, to the right, was an all girl's school. The powers that be did not want us mingling with the girls. Unless you lived in that direction, you were not allowed to turn right out of our school. You had to have a 'turn right pass' which you had to show to a prefect who was stationed at the school entrance to stop you turning right.
Bok Bok Bok
It isn't so much the rule that's bizarre, but the reason.
About a decade ago, several students worked together to acquire two chickens and tag them, then release them into the school. They went around the campus for most of a day before they were caught.
When they caught one, it was labeled "1". The other was labeled "3".
They spent a solid week asking around local officials if they had seen a chicken labeled "2". They checked the vents, the closets, worked with police, everything.
And thus the rule "No senior pranks allowed" was put into effect.
Forbidden Fruit
There were a few bizarre ones in my school, but this is the one that sticks with me....
In the middle of high school, they passed a rule of, "No black walnuts or pecans." There were a lot of pecan and black walnut trees at the school. Hell, the school planted some of them. So, us doofy teenagers would either throw them at each other, or hoard them in our pockets and crack and eat them in class. They were so strict about it that teachers would interrogate you any time you had a bulging pocket (thinking you were hiding them to eat).
What made it even more bizarre was they said that they were worried about students getting hurt by others throwing the walnuts or the pecans. Most of us laughed about it because our school has a trap shooting team, and one of our biggest fundraisers was a gun auction. Like, tree nuts will somehow hurt you, but students handling and shooting guns won't? That's not even mentioning our show team, where students handle livestock like hogs, cattle, horses, and goats.
Fun Is Prohibited
ABSOLUTELY NO MUSIC DEVICES ON THE BUS. if we went on a field trip, teachers would come around with a trash bag to collect your portable CD player and then give it to you when the trip was over.
U Yell U Cuss U Group 5+ U Out!
At my middle school, a group of 3+ all wearing the same color (regardless of the color) was considered "gang affiliation", and would lead to the group getting dress-coded (having to change into school-branded PE sweats or something, I can't fully remember). My friends and I would all wear a specific color once a week (most of the time it was purple) and would try to get as many other kids to join as possible.
Never got dress-coded... they didn't have enough loner outfits.
I also remember my principal giving me a strict talking-to because I had a white shirt that I was having people sign with sharpie at the end of the year instead of a yearbook. She said it was "inappropriate graffiti". In the 7th grade -.-
The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'
People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.
Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.
One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
Terrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Like Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
Good Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
On A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
What About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
Who's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
Big Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
People Share Their Wildest 'I Can Fix Them' Dating Experiences
Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence
We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.
But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.
Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:
"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"
Time for an Upgrade
"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."
- TheRealLifePotato
"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."
- inactiveuser247
"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."
- MikoSkyns
No More Spark
"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."
"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."
"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."
- elteragxo
"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"
"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"
- Aimlessdrifter8778
Misery Loves Company
"Now we are both broken."
- Brave-Butterscotch76
"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."
- Moreofyoulessofme
Getting to Watch a Partner Grow
"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."
"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."
"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."
"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."
"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."
"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."
- Spiritual-Narwhal666
Not a Match
"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."
"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."
- MrWeb20
In Their Nature
"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."
"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."
- mobileJay77
The Importance of Boundaries
"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."
"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."
- TylerTexas10
Happily Ever After
"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."
- DonPronote
An Uncommon Ending
"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."
"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."
- I_Invented_Frysauce
A Little Help from Our Friends
"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."
"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."
- addrien
All Their Idea
"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."
- BuhrZap
A Helping Hand
"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."
"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."
"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."
- brooksie1131
Lesson Learned
"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."
"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."
"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."
- GlobalPermit5428
Best Friends Forever
"It went well but it didn’t work out."
"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."
"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."
"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."
- CODMAN627
So Worth the Investment
"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."
"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."
"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."
"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."
"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."
- BabyElephantWalks
In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.
There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
– insertitherenow
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
– TheEighthLord
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
– I_Have_A_Name37654
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
– 88Dubs
Brat Pack
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
– SonOfDadOfSam
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
– NicPizzaLatte
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
Contagious Femininity
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
– Lazy_Natural6154
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
– aliebabadegrote
Sexist Categorization
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
– ExaminationDouble240
It's Teamwork
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
– Mrbeardoesthethings
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
– constructionguy89
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
– Green7000
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
– MrFunktasticc
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
Never Submissive
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
– kamalaophelia
Stifling Emotions
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
– LambLifts
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
Retracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
At Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Not The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.