Willie B. Thomas/Getty Images

Women and men truly are a separate species, each with our own quirks and personalities. While that could be chalked up to individual upbringings combined with societal norms, there also may be something biological at play.

However, sometimes it's easier to meet the person and see what they're like. Bisexuals fortunately have the privilege of interacting with both sexes on an intimate level and, thanks to the internet, reveal the knowledge they've discovered.


Reddit user, u/Rob-ThaBlob, wanted to know:

Bisexuals of Reddit what are the differences between having sex with a male and a female?

It's All In The Intensity And Power

I'm a man, and I like both, being with a woman is fun and passionate and smooth, being with a guy is hot and wild, and a lot more intense. Just my opinion

fosterprice9

Top or bottom in M/M?

TheFlacidM

I would consider myself a bottom, Most of the men I have been with have been more aggressive which I like and naturally I respond to a more submissive nature, I find it very fun to not be in control and see what happens, when most of the men I've been with have been much stronger than I, I like to be in control as much as I like to be out of control. I love being with men either way

fosterprice9

You Know The Set-Up Pretty Well

In my limited experience I've found that sex with other women is kind of easier. I've just had more practice with vaginas, I know what feels good for me and (so far) it translates easily to what feels good for other women. Sex with men isn't any less pleasurable, it just takes longer for me to figure out what feels good for them, especially since men tend to be less vocal in bed (which is a huge bummer, please don't be afraid to make noise to let your partner know they're doing something right).

Spending time figuring out what a new partner likes can be fun too, but with other women I always feel like I've got a head start (wink wink)

caimanteeth

Primal and Instinctive

The differences for me personally are that with men I am more submissive but with women I am wayyyy more dominant. Sex with men feels like a job that just needs to be finished vs with women it feels so primal and instinctive. If that makes sense...

[usernamedeleted]

Connection: Not Established

I feel like when I (female) had a one night stand with another female, I always seemed more intimate than a one night stand with a male.

With girls, it just seemed closer for some reason.

With guys, there was always some sort of disconnect.

wierdoginger

Power Vs. Fun

Sex with a guy feels way more powerful, and sex with a woman feels more like fun. However, if you in love with her then it's pretty intense.

Also hookups with guys feels much different and almost more sexy

DefeatedDestiny

Talk It Over With Your Partner

Iv had a conversation about this with my SO once. We're both [bi] but he's a dude I'm a girl.

for bi guys, sex with men means you got to take something, which is a whole unique experience you may not be into. But also Sex with men doesn't last as long as Sex with women.

For girls, sex with women lasts much longer. Sure you can dominate If you're into that, but unless you got toys, nobody's really on top. Also it's so much easier to tell a girl what you want, and it never hurts like a dude in your a-- would. (Unless you're into that) as you can tell I prefer women in bed. Pretty biased.

For both of us though, the dom and the sub switches. We both prefer to dom women and sub to men.

Inforgreen3

After A While, You'll Know For Sure

Dudes are pretty easy to get off.

Women take a bit of figuring out.

Magidex42

And with women, you can never be sure they actually got off, too.

gianecchinisbf

There's Power In The Feeling

Bi M

Men with other men have an intensity of sexual energy unmatched by any other pairing. Generally speaking. It's like an ever intensifying feedback loop. The heights of animalistic lust experienced with f-cking a man are indescribable. Like you can almost feel it permeating the air.

There's a few women I've been with able to replicate this, but not many.

sdparquinn

Perhaps It Means Something Different

I'm a big fan of female partners getting rough with me (choking, slapping, etc) but that is totally off limits if I'm with a male partner. I don't know if that's just because I've typically only had flings/one nighters with guys (as opposed to relationships with women) so there's not been the opportunity to build trust, but that's the big difference I've noticed for me.

et-regina

Easy Lure

Guy here. Honestly, the biggest difference is that it's way easier to sleep with a guy than a girl. I have no idea how to go about attracting a woman. I'm pushing 30 and they're still a mystery to me. Guys? It's a lot easier and you don't even have to be very attractive to find someone who'll sleep with you.

Misterlulz

Gets The Job Done

Every woman I've slept with doesn't stop until I'm finished.

Can't say that for every man, lol.

butternoodz

Physicality Levels Vary

Other than the obvious... I would say that in sex women are gentle even when they are rough and men are rough even when they are gentle. That's not exactly right.... but its true though. And I don't just mean the act of penetration receiving vs giving. The only thing that doesn't line up with this is receiving oral sex from a man as man, which is amazingly gentle and good (or can be). But giving oral sex... way more physical thanon a woman. Even kissing is somehow more... physical, less gentle. A lot of the other answers are also true.

guitarmanEG140

Act vs. Context

Everyone's different, but in general: Men are about the ACT, women are about the CONTEXT.

If a guy wants to screw you, or wants to do something specific they just want to do it. A freight train could be bearing down on them and they'd go "well, we've got time before it gets here, best not waste it".

What a girl wants to do is very, very much more determined by how she feels about you specifically, how sexy she finds the environment, what else is happening in her life, the fluidity of the communication, and the expectations (or lack thereof) for a relationship.

SamuraiWisdom

It's All In The Perception

Bi M

for me it's a lot like getting dinner

sometimes I want a nice intimate night out with a diverse menu and great service (being with a woman)

and sometimes I'm drunk, it's 3am, and I just need to find a place that's still open (being with a guy)

draxlaugh

Like Making Love To A Carpet

In my experience women tend to care more about how they're perceived than dudes do. They doll up, they get sexy, they shave their legs. Guys dont really do that. Most of the time it's like "oh I'm gonna get laid". Even when chicks are just DTF they're not just throwing on sweat pants.

Dudes tend to make awkward small talk more often. Probably because our minds focus on the end goal more than the act. Also, hair EVERYWHERE

Save the planet, shave.

ShaggyTheFoxx

They're Not Radio Knobs

My only real big difference is the nipples. Girls are softer and more sensual, guys tend to play with them like they're trying to twist open a bottle of Coke

golfing_furry

Change The Questions

Women don't ask other women "did you come" because 1. they know what a fake orgasm looks like and 2. they know the orgasm is not the whole entire point of sex.

I strongly encourage men to learn from this latter point. Ask "how was it for you' or something. Don't ask "did you come," we don't always and it doesn't mean anything went wrong and it's no big deal unless you insist it is.

lizrnyc

Positioning It Right

For me, the biggest difference in the power exchange. With women, I'm way more toppish and with men, way more bottom-ish.

The sex itself is different but mostly just due to the parts.

neiiif36d

However,...all of those reasons are why M/F sex is great... because of the sharing of feeling and sensation. And oral can be done as often as partners like. And anyone can and SHOULD learn to read their partners body language.

So, for me... lesbian sex means you take turns focusing on the other person almost exclusively, while hetero sex means you get to enjoy the sensations simultaneously or separately.

Fang_Jolima

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Sixth sense, hunch, spidey senses tingling, or gut feeling: no matter what you call it, we all have had that feeling at one point or another. Not everyone is as in tune with that feeling as some, but when we have that feeling it's important to listen to it. It could be life or death.

Science tells us that there's actual physical feelings associated with the gut feeling due to our gut-brain connection. Signals from our brain can actually cause intestinal signals to bubble up. It can come in a moments notice. Sometimes feeling a little like anxiety or even "hearing" a voice in your head telling you something might be off.

Healthline says:

"Research links these flashes of intuition to certain brain processes, such as evaluating and decoding emotional and other nonverbal cues."


We might need to listen to our gut specifically to protect ourselves. It's that intuitive knowledge that keeps humanity alive for centuries.

Antonia Hock, global head of The Ritz-Carlton Leadership Center said:

"Instinct is a powerful data point that can be a treasure trove of untapped generational knowledge in decision making."

Redditors shared their life-saving moments when they listened to their gut and trusted it.

Redditor TheGaySussyBaka asked:

"What's a gut feeling that saved yours or someone else's life?"

Intuition could save a life. Let's read some true stories about gut feelings that made all the difference.

It was worth being late to the party.

"Years ago, my wife and I were driving on the expressway that was under major construction. Traffic had slowed quite a bit and I saw a plume of smoke ahead. As we drew closer, I could see it was the beginning of a Carbeque, but the driver was still in the vehicle."

"I did a death defying move to cross multiple lanes of traffic to pull over, despite my wife's protests about being late to the event we were headed to."

"I approached the car, which was just starting to produce visible fire from the wheel wells and opened the door to the car. The guy was conscious, but in obvious shock and was unresponsive. I had to reach in to unbuckle him and pull him out of the car. Within seconds of me getting him out, the driver's compartment was completely engulfed in flames."

- TheSpatulaOfLove

"In that moment, that's what your wife was thinking about?"

- Nooseents

"I don't think she had malicious intent. She's just nuts about being everywhere 5 minutes early. She assumed the guy would get out of the car and all would be fine. I didn't get that feeling."

- TheSpatulaOfLove

"Tipsy" driving is still drunk driving.

"Do not get into a car with someone who says 'they are just a little tipsy.'"

"The guy who was trying to convince us that he 'was totally fine to drive' didn't die that night but he did have to spend a two years learning to walk again."

- fruit_cats

"My story isn't as bad as that but I'm pretty sure I saved a friend from getting arrested for drunk driving. She'd been hanging out at my fraternity and had at least a couple drinks. She said she was going to drive to the bar, but I told her I wasn't going to let her and would find someone to drive her. But everybody else had been drinking. I hadn't, but I also didn't have a driver's license at the time (not for nefarious reasons, I just didn't get one until I graduated college)."

"Refusing to let her drive, I told her I would. She got in next to me and even though I hadn't driven in awhile, I drove slowly to the bar. After I pulled in to the spot, I finally noticed that there had been a cop right behind us. Luckily he drove off. But the cops in our college town were notorious jerks and even if she had been below the legal limit, she probably would have been arrested. But she was fine and I drove her back to her apartment after we were done."

"Also later found out that the car I was driving wasn't even hers - it belonged to her sorority sister. So there's a good chance I prevented her a) from getting arrested, b) getting into a bad accident, c) damaging her sorority sister's car or d) all of the above."

- PAKMan1988

"You're really burying the good part."

"You prevented her from possible troubles by driving a stolen car without a license right in front of a cop."

- yourmomlurks

Listen to your parental gut feeling.

"My son has leukemia and is on chemotherapy. He was just...off. Looked paler than usual and something just felt odd. Turns out chemo had obliterated his blood so much it might as well have been water and he would have died within days. Two blood transfusions, five days hospital and two weeks off chemotherapy and he was on the mend."

"I went into traumatic shock and the one thing that pulled me out was a debrief with my doctor, who told me I had just saved my child's life with my maternal instinct and never doubt it. Fast forward a few months and he got an infection and that same odd feeling woke me up. He spent a week in hospital that time."

"Parental instinct is there for a reason. Don't doubt it. When you feel it, it's not like feeling a concern or worry that something might be wrong... it's a deep primal knowing."

- belltrina

"My wife had the same thing happen with our 3rd kid. 3 days old. Something was off for her. She had a feeling, called the pediatrician and tested his blood sugar with her kit since she was a gestational diabetic. It was in the basement. Like the oh f**k basement. Verge of coma basement. Doc had us call 9-11 and they would have life-flighted him to a bigger hospital had the weather not sucked a**. Spent 9 days in the NICU. Now he's a wild 5-year-old boy. She 100% saved his life."

- Fleadip

"When I worked in peds, this was the mantra among the nursing staff. If mom (or dad) thinks something is wrong, something is wrong! You know your kid better than anyone else in the world."

- vanillabeanlover

"This is so true! When I had appendicitis, my doctor tried to send me home saying it was the flu. If my mom hadn't insisted something was seriously wrong, I might be dead. It was hours from rupturing when they removed it."

- hotairballoons

A near miss.

"Scenario- driving myself and 2 coworkers back from lunch. Didn't immediately go when my light was green as I got this weird knot in my stomach like something was gonna go down. Car next to me went forward and got slammed into a brick building and post by a speeding car that went thru his red. Some debris rained on my car but basically was left unscathed. Shook but unscathed."

- tokoloshe_noms_toes

"My friends make fun of me for this, bc the 'light is green lol' but I've been involved in that type of accident, and am only alive because my dad, who was driving saw it in time to slam the gas and make them only hit the bed of the truck."

- marshal231

The man in the truck.

"This is before cell phones (think beepers). I went out one night and was meeting my bestie half way between my house and hers. I noticed this truck drive by me and he slowed down to a crawl. Another car was coming so he kept going. My spidey senses were triggered though. I saw my best friend and I grabbed her and pulled her into an old shed at an abandoned house. I shut the door quick and told her to be quiet. There was a space so we were able to see this truck coming."

"She is whispering rapidly to me asking what is happening. I told her that I had seen that guy a few minutes before and he made me nervous. He slowly crept down the street, pulled over and got out with a flashlight. That's when we saw the gun. The most terrifying thing, it was only moments, but felt like hours. He finally took off, but I was hesitant to leave yet. We stayed there for about 15-20 minutes and he came back 4 or 5 times."

"Finally we heard our names being called, her older brother and his best friend had come looking because it typically takes 10 minutes to get from my house to hers. I am convinced that she and I would both be dead if it wasn't for that shed and me trusting my spidey senses."

- Right-Mind2723

Caught it just in time.

"Was hanging out with my brother who was visiting from a few hours away. We went to one of his highschool friends house to shoot the sh*t."

"My brother's friend had a kid who was literally bouncing off the walls. After one bounce I heard a little scrape behind me. I looked behind me to see the 8 point deer head mounted to the wall just in time for another bounce."

"I snatched that head out of the air just about 3 inches from giving the kid 4 stab wounds to the skull."

- piratecheese13

"I was at a party my house was hosting back in the day. We had a back area that had a door leading to the backyard, the door swung inwards. Someone was bent over putting their shoe on and I heard someone coming up the stairs to come in. As soon as the handle started turning, I put my hand over the door to stop it coming in. The person putting on their shoe was so shocked because no one else noticed the door opening and their head was right near the handle. Maybe not exactly saving a life, but a solid concussion at least."

- Subject37

"Peacefully riding my motorcycle."

"'I don't think that guy is going to stop for that stop sign. I'll slow down just a little bit so he'd miss me if he didnt.'"

"Guy flys through intersection at 100km/h."

"'God wanted me to live this day, I see.'"

- shrapnullvxvsa

There are a few things you'll need to do to learn how to trust your gut. Part of it is recognizing when your gut is trying to send you signals. Body awareness, emotional awareness and cognitive processing is something that can happen intuitively, but we have to know how to recognize it.

Pay attention to when it is intrinsically emotional or when it might be clouded by bias. Know the difference so you can make choices that make the most sense for the situation.

And practice! Find ways to listen to your body and emotions and put the skills to the test.

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