Bisexual people have had to deal with a ton of unfair drama for just being themselves. They are part of the rainbow too. Let's remember that!
Redditor u/Rk8ley wanted the bisexual, gender fluids to share their tales of being ostracized by asking.... Bisexuals of Reddit, especially those in straight relationships, have you ever been bullied or abused by LGBT people for not being "gay" enough? And what's your story?
Don't take on other people's past...Giphy
My husband and I are both bi. I'm "out" but he's not. His father figure, a gay man, told him that he would never date a bi man, because he's nursed too many bi men back from failed straight relationships, only to have them "switch" and leave him for women. When my husband replied that he was bi, that was a very awkward moment. laraken
Look at Me!
I've been told both by lesbians (for some reason I was never told this by a gay guy) and straight people that bisexuals only claim to be bisexuals because they either want attention, they don't want to come out as lesbian/gay, or they go for people of their same gender because nobody of the opposite gender finds them attractive.
I was never *bullied* because of it, but some people are definitely passive aggressive about it and I've occasionally caught them talking shit about bisexual people behind their backs. ratinha91
It's my Pride too!
I (bi woman married to a man) had my gay coworkers boyfriend thank me for "supporting pride." It was in a fairly condescending tone. I was pretty offended, and kept saying "you marry one man, and suddenly you're straight!" I'm pretty open about being bi. The last two partners before dating my now husband were a woman and a trans man. I just happened to stop dating anyone, man/woman/genderfluid that wasn't my single monogamous life partner. emu30
I have nothing against dating bi women, and honestly with my type 90% of the women I date are bi. But I have been cheated on twice by long term partners with men - and for both it was a huge deal for them that they weren't able to be out to their parents, and instead opted for the easy route with men because there was less pressure. I think that's part of where the insecurity comes from. In many other circumstances women presented themselves as being serious, but then copped out as it being a fling to try. If society was less homophobic and compulsory heterosexuality wasn't so prevalent, it would be easier to date bi people.
In the cases I've experienced, the individual was insecure, selfish, and not in a healthy head space to be dating or dealing with their sexuality - but why try to work through your problems when there was a convenient, more socially acceptable fallback? I know this is because of the individuals though, and not that they are bi. It's just tough to figure out if they're that type of person without emotionally investing in them and getting to know them.
It's not going to stop me from dating bi women, but I'm certainly more selective now and am only dating women who are out and not new to dating women. Unfortunately, that does mean that I'm turning down women who may very well be serious but can't seem to get experience dating women because all the gays have developed the same selectivity. It's tough, I get it, but it's a choice that I have to make that is healthier for me. BoundingBorder
My pain is real...Giphy
A few different gay people -- specifically, a few "gold star" lesbians -- insisted on calling me straight. The time it pissed me off most was right after I'd gotten out of a multi-year relationship with a woman (and I'm a woman). My heart was broken. I went to pride with a gold star lesbian pal and a few genuinely straight people.
The lesbian pal turned to me in front of the group and said, "Thanks for coming here to support me. You're a good straight ally."
I'd literally been crying on her shoulder about my ex-girlfriend the week before. Anyway, I was so shocked she would call me straight that I couldn't come up with anything to say. We didn't really stay friends. InvincibleSummer1066
It's Human Nature...
It's actually funny because the argument against gay people is that they aren't part of the group, they're different; then, you have that group that was discriminated against turning it around and discriminating against others, all while shouting at the first group "don't discriminate against me!" It's hilarious to see how warped minds can get, when we all forget about human nature. serrol_
Why do I have to pick?
Bisexual man. I've been railed on by both lesbians and gay men for not picking, not taking a side, not being honest about my sexuality (I said I was Bi, they didn't believe it was possible) etc. How is the idea that I can find and enjoy both sexes a falsehood? Also, how is that persecution any different from what you hate straight people doing to you? Ashe_Faelsdon
Many people don't even know that I swing that way, because I usually don't talk about it unless I'm asked. I don't consider it that important to my identity that I'd feel need to hang out in the LGBT crowd or fly the bi-flag or whatever. Still, as an outside observer I've witnessed a lot of gatekeeping like this, and I feel that it will hurt their goals down the road. boringprude
I'm Coming Out.... Maybe!
I'm a bi female and honestly it's not a huge deal to me. I haven't had to "come out" because it's not something I talk about unless asked. I've only dated men and I know I'm going to marry my current boyfriend so it's just not something that ever really comes up. But as an art student at a liberal college I'm just waiting for that moment for some a--hole who says "you can't speak on this cause you're straight" and be like HAH you assuming SOB haha. LittleBumbleBean
You MUST Choose!Giphy
Yes. I am bisexual and besides lesbians on the after Ellen forum, where I first attempted to understand my orientation and the greater lifestyle bullying us for being untrustworthy, I have recently been fully aware of gay individuals posting things like that the B should be removed and is not representative if the rest of the community because we may "choose." puffpuffpastries
The amount of bi discrimination in the LGBTQ community is wild. phantom_panties
People have weird expectations when it comes to this stuff. I know a guy who is literally married to another guy, and you'd think that qualifies as 'gay enough' to be considered gay; but apparently his husband's friends give him crap for 'looking straight.' ratinha91
100% gay man here. First and deepest love was Bi and I just never got over the feeling he'd one day go back to women or have a fling with a lady. It was part of what ended our relationship and it still hurts so many years later. I resented him for it then and regret it now. I teased him and prodded for him to admit he was cheating on me with a woman. You cannot change a leopards spots and I tried but failed miserably.
What I'm trying to say is that when you're with someone, be with them in that moment of your lives and love each other. Don't panic over the unknown or try to change someone to suit your future. If they are with you it's because they are into you. OmgLikeForSureDude
Why so Serious?
I'm a bisexual teen (male), and I've actually faced a lot more direct anger from people than expected. I'm like a weird middle ground between flamboyant and very serious and straight (pun not intended), so both straights and gays tend to find me a little off. A lot of gay guys I've met have been especially big d**ks to me because they assume I'm gay just for attention. I've only dated women before, so that also helps give them a reason to hate on me. PixlYoshi
Simmer Down Now!Giphy
Bi woman here. The weirdness I've experienced is from straight chicks not really LGBT. Like I'll mention it because I'm not ashamed & they get all weird like I'm going to hit on them or be creepy. Chick - you aren't my type, I'm very married to a man & a Mother. Chill. Nightmare_Moons
A Proud "B!"
Oh man, yes, from both men and women. For the gay guys, it's usually that I'm just out there for the privilege, like I'm secretly gay but dating women for like, status or something. From straight women, there's a huge fear of infidelity. Like, if I'm going to cheat, it's because I'm a cheating scumbag, not because I'm bi. Then, there's the times when I'm dating a girl and I've been told or made to feel like I don't belong in LGBTQ+ spaces. Like, the "B" stands for bisexual, I'm totes part of this damn community. el_pobbster
Making the Turn....
Lesbian girls never really want(ed) to date me, because I'd leave them for a guy anyway. My sexuality has been questioned by gay and straight people alike. Not my story but that of my BF. He was in a relationship with a guy for a while. This guy kept asking him when he'd turn fully gay. No. Marshmallow_konijn
I don't know if this counts, but I'm asexual, and people give us soooo much crap about it. They assume I'm molested, I'm just abstinent, that I am secretly gay, or that I just "need to get d**k" or whatever. Some people get very rude about it. PlasticGirl
I'm not Broken!
Bi girl here. Had relationships/one night stands/fwb with men and women. Married to a man. I've had people say I pretend to like women for attention, that I just needed the right guy and d**k to get over the phase. I had a guy follow me home from a gay club who said he was gonna show me what a real man was to "fix me." Had people assume that the only type of sex I want is threesomes. The list goes on.... ChronicallyLou
Here for the Fun!Giphy
I'm a bisexual woman who has dated men and women. Currently in a long-term relationship with a man. I have several very close lesbian friends and none have ever tried to make me feel bad/lesser/whatever. I was also the president of my college's LGBT group and no one ever seemed upset about it.
I don't want to deny anyone's experiences, but I also don't want younger bisexual people to think they're automatically hated by other members of the LGBT community. It's fun being bisexual! And it's fun to have bisexual friends! It's fun to have gay and lesbian friends too. summerbowl
I am who I am!
In high school, one of my best friends came out to me as a lesbian. She was only out to me and one other friend for about a year. We spent countless hours talking about her process of realizing that she was not straight, the girl she had a crush on, what she found attractive in women, etc. Her family did not know for quite a long time, and I was one of her main support structures until she left for college.
Anyway, we both went to separate colleges and did not talk for a while. During my first year at college, I developed a raging crush on a girl from my school. Blushing when she walked into the room, getting flustered when she would talk to me, the whole nine yards. Previously, I had only dated men, so this was really when I came to realize that I identified as bisexual.
A few months later, I had a phone call with my friend, just to catch up since we had not talked for a while. At some point in the conversation, I told my friend about my crush and how it had been so out of the blue for me but how I had begun to identify as bisexual since then and notice that I was attracted to other women. My friend fell silent as I was speaking, and once I had finished, asserted multiple times that there was no way that I could be bisexual because I had only dated men and was currently dating a man.
She and I have not talked since that interaction years ago, and I am now surrounded by much more supportive friends. It still hurts, though, that she could not accept me after I'd spent so much time working through her sexuality with her. telepathiccrowqueen
Raise your hands--who had an emo phase in the 2000s? I know I did, as did a lot of people around me. All of us heard “It's just a phase" from our parents at some point, but when you're a kid, life as we know it seems so permanent.
Of course, most of the time, it was “just a phase". And looking back, those phases are regrettable, to say the least. Here are some prime examples of that.
What was your biggest/most regrettable "It's not a phase, mom. It's my life." that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?
The enthusiasm of a young person can lead to some unexpected changes that parents are just not ready for.
I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite Autobot. My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.
So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me Wheeljack.
Very 2008.Ariana Grande Shrug GIFGiphy
My cat-ear phase. I wore cat ears every single day. Everywhere. I had like 20 pairs of them. Now everyone thinks I'm a furry.
I find that very cute and wouldn't have thought you'd be furry. Even if you'd had cat mittens. I think my suspicions would have started if you moved a bit like a cat, displayed catlike grooming habits or got a cat mask.
Not gonna lie, that car sounds cool.
I went to a car show once as a teen, and the only newer car there was some chick's PT cruiser. It was hot glittery pink, and at the time I was obsessed. I insisted that one day I would have a hot pink car, with pink seats, pink dash, pink carpets, etc. I was pretty heavily goth at the time, so my parents just rolled their eyes.
These phases can often lead to some very strange fashion choices.
When I was a teenager (early 00s), I was waiting for my mother to pick me up and was wearing one of those sh!tty sports wristwatches. It was itching me so I took it off for a second, but then she arrived and because I was struggling to get it back on my wrist, I looped it around the equally sh!tty chain I had around my neck in a rush to get out the door.
My mom asked me about it in the car, and I told her this was my new style and I planned to wear it like that every day. She rolled her eyes.
I wore that watch on a chain around my neck every single day for 3 years or so. There are even professional family photos where I'm wearing it because I refused to take it off.
One day, the chain broke and I lost the watch. I was in high school at that point anyway and it was a major lady repellent, so... phase over.
Not everyone can be Eminem.slim shady eminem GIFGiphy
Baggy pants, being a rapper someday and being a professional skater.
When I was about 14 and Eminem was starting to blow up I bought myself a keyboard with a synthesizer. It cost like $200 which was all the money I had saved up. It finally came (this was way before amazon prime and such) and I tried rapping.
My sister told me "you're effing horrible" and I gave up right then and there.
This should be a sin.
I used to button the top buttons of polo shirts.
I must say, this is probably the worst one I've read.
Looking back at our regrettable choices, all we can do is cringe.
An optimistic look at bad tattoos.check me out season 3 GIF by PortlandiaGiphy
Being a tattooer. Regrettable because of those poor people who have my awful doodles on their bodies.
Take heart! My favorite tattoo is the one I drunkenly got my buddy to do in his living room one year during March Madness! It's dumb and frankly mediocre? But such a good story and has such good associations I smile every time I see it.
My friend and I decided we were going to open a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cages in the walls at each booth. We convinced ourselves it would be amazing for at least two years in college. It was going to be called Fredro's.
My entire family made fun of me for it. Once we got out of college, we realized it was not feasible and joined the office grind. We're also two white guys with no ties to Jamaica.
Talk about cringey.
I wore a top hat with an anime pin on it for around a year. Met one of my current best friends while wearing it, idk how he could bear to speak to me after that.
My weirdest phase was probably when I insisted on wearing knee-high rainbow socks to school every day. But honestly, I don't regret it. I rocked those socks, and I wish I still have a pair.
To all the people out there cringing over their past selves, remember that you were just a kid, and to be easy on yourselves. After all, we've all been there
It should not take much for a consumer to be satisfied with the products they purchase.
Yet, too often, manufacturers who oversell their products fail to deliver what is promised and are inevitably left with angry customers who want their money back.
Whether the merchandise was defective or ridiculously overpriced, strangers online shared some of their worst purchases when Redditor BooksMcGee asked:
"What is the worst product you ever paid money for?"
Short Life Span
"This NERF gun that's supposed to shoot tennis balls for your dog. I bought it cause I thought you could load 3 at a time and shoot them far, but it's just one and it's super loud and the gun broke after like 4 shots (reading reviews later, this was a common issue)."
"There were these toys called squiggles when I was a kid and the commercials made it seem like the toy was alive. It looked like you would get this crazy little fuzzy worms as pets that would follow you around an so sick tricks and listen to your every command. It was really just a piece of fluffy string tied to another piece of string with googly eyes on it. People may say that it was supposed to be a magic trick but they should also explain that to a 5 year old who really wanted a pet."
"Not their fault, but I paid $70 for a Yugioh card hours before it was limited to one copy. Probably dropped to $20 by the end of the day."
These purchases were bad for your bum.
"A bicycle that literally fell apart before I made it out of the parking lot."
Not Worth Sitting On
"Joybird brand couch. Was so terrible, we returned it. Still hard to believe, we returned a freaking couch."
Going Nowhere Fast
"A 2000 VW Beetle (used)."
"Biggest piece of sh*t that literally had to have just about everything replaced before 100k miles and would still break down every time you left the driveway to the point where the tow-truck driver knew us on a first-name basis."
"An Oldsmobile Achieva from one of those buy here pay here places. I should have known better, but I was young and thought I was getting a good deal. I had the thing for about 5 months, I drove it for maybe 3 weeks. The rest of the time it was either in the shop, or in my driveway waiting until pay day so I could afford to fix whatever broke on it this week. Eventually told the dealer just take it, I'm not paying for it any more. He said nope, and I will make sure your credit is ruined. I said well you sold me a lemon, do you really want to go this route? He came and took it. Never reported anything to credit. I heard he got sued by several other people who sold sh**ty cars too and eventually went out of business."
"Always amazes me when I see them driving around still, I can only assume there's enthusiasts who just love repairing horribly designed cars."
These Redditors were not convinced what they ingested was edible.
"A box of plain Cheerios. Thought they were honey nut, poured a bowl, was very disappointed."
"If I wanted to taste cardboard, I'd just eat the box."
"A burnt frozen pizza at the air and space museum cafe in DC. I Don't wish that experience on anyone. There are some amazing restaurants in DC, don't settle."
The following electronics just gave off a bad charge.
"Asus Transformer Pad TF700"
"This was one of those early 'high end' Android tablets that was grossly underpowered, and it showed. Thing was slow as sh!t in no time flat. Rookie mistake investing into shiny new tech while they were still working all the bugs out. Think I paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $350-400 for it..."
"macbook pro 2018 13" touchbar. 2 years old and dead (battery). they're asking $300-$400 to change the battery. malfunctioning keyboard with double presses and missing presses. that's a lot of money for bad design."
"Past winter my old room heater broke down and I had to buy a new one. Went to a store nearby and somehow got convinced to buy a very costly heating device.. It's also my fault, since there were some sligthly cheaper options around, but nope. I wanted the expensive one thinking it will make my small room a volcano with little to no effort/cost (that's also what the seller told me). Long story short the device wasn't doing ANYTHING. No significant temperature changes, too much space, a weird noise, and was doubling my previous device in utility cost. I still gloom over those 80 euros.."
Some of my disappointing purchases was clothing, but only because I purchased them online. Unless they are a brand I'm familiar with, I'm usually fine with buying new jeans off of their websites.
But when it comes to graphic tees only available on specialty shops, an M-size shirt is not necessarily the same size as those found in other reputable stores.
I bought a medium sized T-shirt from a boutique store online because I loved the look of the design. But when it arrived, the supposed medium fit me like an XL.
At least I gained a fierce cleaning rag from this impulsive purchase.
We all know the job interview butterflies.
We sit outside the office or wait for the phone call and our foot taps at rapid speed. We run through some rehearsed answers, but worry that they'll ask a slew of things we never even considered. We try not to sweat too much.
Often, it turns out alright. We may not get the job, but we're respectable, give solid answers, and learn a lot about the place we're trying to get hired.
Other times, however, all of our far-fetched worries seem to come to life.
Curious to hear just how bad an interview can go, Redditor UIGrimsen asked:
"What was your worst job interview?"
Plenty of people had some truly bizarre stories to share. Part of these train wrecks were bad luck, and part were the insane antics of the people giving the interview.
But for us, they're simply hilarious.
"I applied for a job in a Planetarium, the interview was conducted in a big dome."
"Problem was, another part of the Planetarium staff was doing fire alarm tests during the interview. The dome amplified the sound so much, it was deafening. The interview staff acted like nothing was going on. We had to shout so we could hear each other."
"My mom raises chickens … and during COVID one of them got sick (not COVID). She had it inside to feed water hourly to try to nurse it back to life. My mom has to run an errand so I'm in charge of this chicken for the afternoon."
"I was on a phone screening with a candidate for a position in my office and this chicken starts having a seizure and dies on the middle of this phone call. I look over and it's laying almost like it was crucified."
"The candidate heard the commotion and asked if everything was ok … Which I relied 'yeah, the chicken just died.' "
"She withdrew her application the next morning."
"1.) I walked in as the HR lady farted"
"2.) it was a small office with no windows"
"3.) I asked her questions about their employee retention rate that she couldn't answer"
"4.) the fart stayed the duration of the interview"
"5.) I hope the fart got the job, because I didn't want it"
A Very Instructive Moment
"Applied to work at a vet clinic. Veterinarian did the interview while spaying a cat, apparently one of the cleanest and quickest surgeries they do. I fainted."
"Was not offered the job (after I woke up)."
Others shared moments when their excitement was deflated instantly. They encountered such closed-minded interviewers that there was almost no need for discussion.
That Bus Perk
"As an interviewee It was when I applied to a job as a Junior programmer and in 5 minutes the guys goes 'look, I'll be honest, there is no job, you can get an internship, no pay, we offer the bus pass' "
Plains, Trains, and Automobiles Later...
"I took vacation days to interview, bought my own plane ticket, and paid for my own hotel. First thing the interviewer said was, 'I have no intention of hiring you. This is just a courtesy because I knew your brother.' I had 8 more hours left in my interview day. It was painful."
"They ended up offering me the position many weeks down the road because they couldn't fill the position. I politely declined and got a very passive aggressively worded survey to fill out explaining why I passed."
There's a Right Answer??
"Wanted to work at H&M, got interviewed by the worst person ever."
"One question was and I am legit not lying, 'What is your favorite color and why?' "
"I answered 'baby blue because it's calming and not too harsh to the eyes.' My interviewer then said Oooh, sorry! Red is what we were looking for. And then proceeded to show me the exit."
Last, some shared the times they arrived for the interview excited and enthusiastic, but quickly learned how out of their league the position was.
These interviews looked more like brutal interrogations from the FBI than job interviews.
All the Principals
"Fresh out of college, I was looking for my first teaching job. I applied at a small district for an elementary school position."
"I walked in, expecting the principal and a few teachers. Instead I had the superintendent of the district, some high-level admin, and every single elementary school principal in the district. Probably 15 people in all. They peppered me with questions for 45 minutes."
"I had zero experience, just my student teaching. I did not get the job."
Shove Your Masters
"Finished up a masters degree in physics. Got a phone interview and was was told it would be an introductory chat. Was confronted with a technical interview panel (over the phone) of 6 PhDs, 4 of which had graduated from the research group I had just left. We walked through my research project in about 10 minutes."
"Then the pain began... felt like I'd only learned kindergarten physics."
An Extremely Intimidating Position
"Got an interview for a job as a floor manager at a gigantic steel foundry. I have some background in metallurgy so I thought it'd fit. It paid $90k and I was qualified resume-wise. I got there, turned out it was a group interview with three other applicants, to hear the pitch."
"If something messes up, the company loses $100,000 (some shockingly high amount, I don't remember if it was exactly 100k) per hour and it's your sole responsibility to fix it. They said you'd have to be on call 24/7 to handle anything that comes up."
"I got to the solo part out of curiosity and the interviewer they put me with said something to the effect of 'I know this job sounds bad, but actually it's even worse.' I was desperate for a job because I didn't land one straight out of college, but I was glad not to hear back from them after the interview..."
Here's hoping you don't have a job interview scheduled and this just amplified your anxiety 1000%. The nice thing to remember is that these horror stories are few and far between.
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Believe it or not, Canadians don't live in igloos or freeze to death all year round. If you go to Germany, it's highly unlikely that every German you meet will be cold and uninviting. Hop over to the United Kingdom and you're not going to run into tons of people with terrible teeth and bad hygeine.
These are called stereotypes, my friends, and it's best you leave them at the door. People were more than willing to strike down some stereotypes about the countries they know and love after Redditor HelloThere577 asked the online community,
"What are some false stereotypes about your country?"
"When most folks envision Scotland, they think of kilts, whisky, bagpipes, and red hair.
All of those things exist (and are common) here.
People might also imagine verdant hillsides, rocky bluffs, and skies that randomly switch between clear and cloudy.
Once again, that's completely accurate.
However, one stereotype which has absolutely no foundation, in reality, is the assumption that Scotsmen are constantly hunting haggis. In fact, haggis-hunting only takes place in February (which is the season for deosil haggis) and May (which is the season for widdershins haggis). For the rest of the year, the haggis is more or less left alone."
"I am originally from Portugal and moved to the United States. Around 80% of the people that I have met thought Portugal was either in South America, owned by Brazil, or a part of Spain. When I first came here it made me really sad."
"If the wildlife hurts or kills you in Australia, it's generally because you are f***** stupid. You are 10000 times more likely to be injured or killed in a car accident in Australia than by anything in nature."
This is likely very true, but knowing me, I'd probably be easy pickings for one of those huntsman spiders.
"That we end every sentence with "eh" and drink maple syrup by the gallon and have moose and igloos in our backyards."
You mean... you don't?
Just kidding. Canada is lovely––visit sometime. It's a lovely place.
The United States
"That we always have a shotgun at the ready. A shotgun is a home gun where a pistol is your everyday gun. Your revolver is your dress gun, for special occasions. Then of course your assault rifle is for when you're kicking back and cracking open a cold one with the boys."
"Anything related to The Sound of Music."
Probably gets annoying afer a short while. Great movie, though. Still dreaming about a trip to Salzburg.
"A lot of Americans seem to think we're inbred because we're an island. This is dumb, because it's a very big island (10th biggest in the world), and it's not isolated, we've been invaded, invading, and trading with the mainland for thousands of years."
"That we are car thieves. Crime was widespread in Poland in the 90s but today crime (including theft) rate in Poland is low."
"We do gesticulate a lot, but we definitely don't yell like crazy."
It seems Italian Americans are the ones who could learn a thing or two about being more reserved.
"Iceland. We're not some utopian Disneyland filled with quirky superstitious people that all believe in elves."
Remember: The world is an enormous place filled with people from all walks of life, and they don't take too kindly too stereotypes. Expand your horizons by having conversations with as many people as possible. You'd be surprised how quickly your preconceived notions will vanish.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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