The ability to speak two languages should be celebrated. Think twice before you judge someone who speaks any broken language, we know the people in these stories will.
Here are 30 stories from people who didn't realize someone could understand what they were saying.
The Underground Doctor
My grandparents were Romanian Jews living in Europe during WWII. Post-war they fled to America via Italy, and lived in Italy for several years. Now, they largely spoke Romanian, but my grandpa could understand Italian as well. My grandma had a variety of serious health issues throughout her life and at this point (they were probably in their twenties) she had to be taken to an Italian doctor. Thinking they spoke only Romanian, the doctor told his nurse (about my grandma) 'she's a Jew, let her die'. Well my grandpa understood this and was able to seek out a more underground doctor to save my grandmas life. She lived into her 80s.
Not me but my moms friend. Her and her aunt were on a bus. A very sickly looking woman sat in front of them. They just started talking between themselves and said something along the lines of 'that lady looks like death'. She turned around and in Polish said 'I have cancer'.
I speak french, but not fluently, although I am a french/american citizen. At my first girlfriends house for the first time eating dinner with them. We go upstairs afterwards and her little sister (2 grades below us) comes in as we are selecting a movie to watch. Well they are Canadian and speak french at home a lot. The girl comes in and starts talking about how I am cute and so forth to her sister. Then her sister banters back about how she agrees and then turns to me and asks me in french if I agree. I responded in french that I appreciated it. Cue bashful run up to her room. I lived off that high all year.
Excuse Me I Speak German
I was touring some old dungeons in Germany. It was just me and my family, and an older German couple. They were kinda dissing my country the whole time, thinking we couldn't understand them. We got to a room where they locked people by their feet and the German man said to his wife and the tour guide in German 'This is where you should go if you can't speak German'. I turned to him and in perfect German replied 'then it's a good thing I can speak German'. The look on his face was priceless.
I was waiting in line with my sister to take a boat tour in California and ahead of us was a group of 5-6 German-speaking people. The wait to board the boat was long and they got to talking. At first, it was about how nice the weather was, and then it turned to how annoying Americans can be, especially fat, dumb, tourist Americans. They cracked a couple of jokes having to do with American stereotypes. While this was happening, the line started moving and people started boarding the boat. But the group was too wrapped up in their own jokes to realize it. So I finally turned around to them, and in fluent German asked if they were part of the tour and if they were getting on the boat. They stopped dead in their joking tracks and said yes. So I replied that they had better get a move on, because the dumb, fat, American tourist standing right behind them wanted to get on the boat too. They all looked really embarrassed.
Only If You Don't Ask
Happened to me actually, really funny in hindsight. I was in Poland for a holiday with 2 friends. We went outside a bar to smoke, and I said to my friend (in Dutch): 'Those girls over there are really hot, should we ask them to join us?' One of the girls turned around, and said in almost perfect Dutch: 'You won't find out, if you don't ask.' Que my friends laughing and me standing there flabbergasted.
Working at a front desk with two co-workers who were related. They are speaking Spanish and one of them is talking about how she thinks I'm weird/act too professional all the time. She then asks 'where is the stapler?' in Spanish. I picked up the stapler and without looking at her I extend my arm to pass it. She then asks if I speak Spanish and understood the whole conversation. I told her I speak fluent Italian and took Spanish classes in school. Another story. At the mall eating McDonald's when I was a teenager. Bunch of old Italian guys hanging around the food court and one asks 'how can he eat that?' In Italian, while looking at me. I look up and stare at him. I say 'because I'm really hungry' in Italian. All his buddies started laughing.
You Never Know Who's Listening
I was on a subway car in Toronto when a French couple were chatting about innocuous crap when the husband starts chatting to his wife about what he wants to do to her. It's graphic. He's going into details about moves, holes, smells. She had a toque in her hand, but unknowingly dropped it. So, I saw my chance. I pick up her hat and tell her that she lost it. Both of their faces went white. She just meekly thanked me. I stood up, got off the subway and felt a sense of glee at having ruined their evening.
I'm Mexican but I studied my college degrees in the US. When I was studying abroad in Germany I only spoke English to my German classmates. One time we were waiting for a train at a station and a group of young South American tourists were being loud and just waiting beside us. I could understand every word they're saying (except for some slang) and they suddenly start talking about our group. I don't blame them at all they were just bored at the train station trying to pass time but I smile and look at them. One of the guys looks back and says in Spanish: 'Do you not like what I'm saying a--hole?' I respond in Spanish: 'It's been a long time since someone insulted me in my language' The guy has a speechless look on his face and all his friends look at me. We have a laugh and soon after that both our groups sat together and had a nice time talking, their English was good enough to have small chat with.
Is That Right?
I was in South America, and had made friends with a guy who was living in Paraguay, but was originally from Jordan. He spoke like 5 different languages. I asked him if he could help me out buying a cell phone. So we are shopping around, we stop at one place with 2 middle eastern guys selling cell phones. They say some things in Spanish, then some things in Arabic, and then my friend just says, 'lets go'. I asked him what happened and he said the guys said something in Arabic along the lines of 'ohh we'll screw these guys over' To which my friend responded, in arabic 'is that right? you're gonna screw us over?' I thought it was really funny.
I Don't Understand English
Wasn't me but my dad. We, as good Canadians do, went on a ski vacation to Quebec. While my dad was parking his car a tour bus backed into our van. After seeing the damage, my dad marches on to this tour bus and starts talking with the driver. The driver apologizes profusely to my enraged dad, but when my dad starts asking for his name, employee number, and insurance information, he starts pretending that he doesn't understand English. My dad is fluent in French so without skipping a beat he continues questioning the driver en francais. The driver was super shaken up by this turn of events and his face turned red but surrendered his information in the end.
I (African American teenager) went to a Chinese restaurant and immediately the lady behind the counter looks up, and back at her husband and shouts in mandarin '1 Ape in the door! Go serve it'. Took me a minute to realize I hadn't translated that incorrectly. When the husband asked what I wanted and I responded in Chinese 'this ape doesn't want to give any money to your establishment' and left. Won't ever forget the look of terror, shock, and stupidity that left.
I Flipped Her Off
Canadian - with an English group in a very french town in Northern Quebec. Waitress talked about us, being anglophones, the whole night to her coworkers and the bartender. She was doing it fairly loudly, which I found weird in a bilingual country. When she came around with the bills I put on my best Qubcois accent and said in French 'I hope you aren't expecting a tip from these stupid English people, because you sure as hell aren't getting one' and told the group we were leaving. She chased us out of the restaurant screaming at us in French, I flipped her off and we left.
I Don't Speak English That Well
I'm an American who is fluent in German. This past fall I was studying abroad in Bologna, Italy. I was shopping for food and a German tourist comes up to me and asks if I speak English, I say yes I'm American. He asks 'do you know if I can drink a beer in the street, or are there laws against it?' 'I'm not sure, I drink outside all of the time and have never had an issue but to tell you the truth I don't know if it's illegal.' He says thanks, then turns to his friend and says in German 'I have no idea what she just said.' So then I say, in German 'I can explain it to you in German if you think you'd understand it better.' He was surprised but we laughed and had a good conversation in German after that!
Can't Con Us
Two English teens on holiday in France started calling people wankers, and many other interesting words. I asked them to start respecting people and they turned red. In Prague, I asked a lady something in English and her English was too poor for her to understand. I cannot speak Russian but have learned a bit of it and Czech is pretty close. Her gran was with her and the lady I was talking to said I was an idiot asking stupid questions so I said in rough Russian 'I'm not an idiot, I'm sorry I cannot speak Czech'. She went red too. In Catalunya, on a market, a seller spotted us as tourists immediately and tried to sell us his dried sausages more expensive than to the Catalan person before. I told him in Catalan that it is not fair to ask us French people to pay more.
My grandma could speak Arabic fluently. One time we are out and some women behind us in line are mocking her calling her tacky, making fun of her bad dye job. She turned around and said in Arabic 'I may be tacky, but at least I'm not stupid enough to assume nobody can understand me'. They were so mortified.
I speak fluent Hungarian, and the thing about the language is it's so obscure that Hungarians will always assume when abroad that no one else can understand them. As you can imagine, this can backfire spectacularly- I grew up in the USA, and I've heard marital spats at Walmart that frankly never should have left the living room, serious goodbyes between lovers that were awkward to hear, all sorts of things like that. The best story in this genre though is my mother's, when she and my dad were enjoying their first Christmas together. They were in a small village in Austria in the early 80s, and for Christmas Eve when they went out to dinner there was a man in the restaurant with a dog sitting at the table (like, guy putting food on the plate in front of his dog, dog eating it, etc). My mom proceeded to spend a lot of time telling my dad how disgusting and unsanitary this was of the guy to do etc, and when guy and dog finished their meal he just went up to my parents' table, said 'kellemes karacsonyi unnepeket kivanok,' and left. In Hungarian, this is the polite way of telling a stranger you wish them a Merry Christmas.
I'm not the multilingual in this story, but my friend's mom is from Vietnam, but her dad is from the States and is white. For whatever, reason my friend looks like a typical white brunette girl, but speaks Vietnamese with her mom's side of the family all the time and is fluent. So, one day we got off school. We went to a Catholic high school and walked over to a nail salon a few blocks away to get our nails done. The ladies running the salon were speaking Vietnamese, and according to my friend were talking badly about us the entire time we were there. They were talking about how rich we must be and how, 'These little white girls can probably sleep with whoever they want and get ahead.' I was completely oblivious to this the entire time, but as we were about to pay, my friend told me all the terrible things they were saying, so we didn't tip them. We started to leave and one of the workers said something about how the rich white girls couldn't even afford to tip. My friend turned around and yelled at them in perfect Vietnamese about how if they expect their business to stay open, they shouldn't talk badly about their customers in front of their face. I didn't understand a word of it, but the workers were in utter shock and sheepishly apologized to the both of us.
When I lived in China I went to an international school so would frequently use English with my classmates even though I spoke/understood Chinese. One day, I was walking with a classmate when I overheard these old Chinese ladies talking about how it was obvious we were American because we were so fat. We were both average sized--neither fat nor thin. My friend doesn't understand Chinese so I decided to ignore it since we were just passing by. Later, we were at the fruit stand and the ladies come around looking to buy fruit. I'm standing in front of whatever they were trying to look at and any time they'd try to move around me I'd shift subtly so they couldn't. I hear one of them start huffing about how she can't get by, and in Chinese I respond with 'I'd move but as a fat American it'd do no good'. The ladies just looked at me then started laughing and were like 'Ooh, the fat American has good Chinese!' No shame.
This actually just happened a couple of days ago. I'm an American traveling abroad in the Middle East, and went on a date with an Arab guy. He asked me if I spoke Arabic, but since I'm not comfortable speaking it, I just said no. I can understand most things, though, and can speak if pressed. Dinner was great, we got along well, and then went to smoke shisha at a local cafe. The owner, who was my date's buddy, asked who I was in Arabic. He smiled at me sweetly, squeezed my hand, and told his friend in Arabic, 'An American woman who I'm going to sleep with later'. I kept a stupid, docile smile on my face. When the owner took my order, I told him in Arabic 'and one tea for the American whore who he will not sleep with later'. The look on both of their faces was priceless. Needless to say I ended up taking a cab home.
So. I'm an American, living in the United States, fluent English. I did take Spanish in high school and while I didn't really retain much, I can still take a pretty decent gander if I want to. I work in a landscape supply store and most of my customers happen to be Hispanic. Sometimes, they will talk to each other in Spanish while buying materials and I can kind of get the gist of what they're saying. One time, two guys came in and started discussing what materials they were getting and how much. By the time they came up to me, I had already rung them up for what they had been talking about getting. They were really surprised that I understood them and tried talking to me in Spanish. I had to tell them my Spanish was limited so they tried teaching me a few new words while they finished their transaction. It was a nice time.
The City Of Detroit
I speak Dari, one of the two official language of Afghanistan. On a trip I overheard two Afghans. One was telling the other to be careful, Detroit was more dangerous than Kabul.
It Was Worth It
I was at a party a couple years ago and there were these two really good looking Asian girls. I started chatting one of them up and we seem to be having a good time. Anyways, the party keeps going and we split momentarily (I grabbed myself a beer and her friend came over to talk to her). I hear them speaking in Korean and the one I was talking to was explaining how she thought I was really cute. Her friend starts talking in Korean 'that's not a good idea. Don't go after him. He's not that good looking. He just wants to sleep with you. Blah blah blah' (the usual protecting your friends line, which I have no problems with minus the not good looking part). Now at this point, I'm OK with that and I just try to enjoy the party. However, later on I overhear the same girl again speaking in Korean how much of a lowlife I am and I'm a horrible person with some added vulgar swear words (remember, this person has never met me before today). She was basically describing me as if I was the enemy of all women, how I live in poverty, and trying to label me with as many negative things she could think of. Obviously the girl I was talking to is listening to her friend and is clearly no longer looking at me with interest. Before leaving the party I go over to them and I try asking for her number, which she politely refuses to. I turn to her friend and speak in perfect Korean 'Thanks so much for telling your friend about me. It was really nice getting to know you and I'm glad you know so much about me, even though we've never met before'. Look on her face was worth not getting laid.
The Turkish Jeweler
I speak Turkish. We visit Turkey every summer to see my family, but I don't look Turkish, so people are often shocked when they find out I can speak the language. Last year, I went to the markets. In most tourist-y places, the stallholders will try to sell things at a higher price to foreigners. So, I'm looking at some jewellery in this market and the two stallholders are chatting to a customer. They mention to the customer that everything is 10 lira. After that customer leaves, the stall holder looks at what I'm about to buy and tells me in broken English that its 20 lira. I nod, realizing whats going on and spend a few more minutes looking at everything before telling the stallholder in perfect Turkish 'you should really figure out whether someone knows the language before trying to scam them,' The look on her face was great. Things like that are way too common and I feel bad for the people that don't know whats happening.
Go Back Home To America
I'm Japanese and live in Japan, but I went to college and law school in the States so I'd like to think I speak fluent English. It's always pretty funny when foreigners realize I speak English because there are so many bilinguals in Tokyo that you'd think they'd learn by now. Anyways, I have two stories. First is when I was drinking in a pretty small town in Niigata prefecture. It's not known to get too many foreign visitors except in the winters when ski/snowboard season picks up, but this was in the spring so I was actually quite surprised when I walk in to an izakaya and a foreign couple is sitting at one of the tables. I was alone so they seat me at the counter and I order a couple of yakitori and a sake. As I was waiting I could hear the couple behind talking about how none of the things that came were what they ordered/expected and that its so difficult since none seemed to speak English. Now the Izakaya we were at was like a hole in the wall, no pictures and the menu was handwritten in Japanese so I could understand how difficult it would have been. Anyways, I come over and to their delight I translate the menu for them and help them with their order. I ended up sitting and drinking with them that night and still message each other on facebook! Second time isn't the same type of feel good story. Anyways, I'm in a small city outside the 23 ward which has a pretty prominent language school so there are a lot of foreigners in the area. I used to bartend when I was younger and one of my coworkers from that time had opened a small bbq restaurant in the area so I decided to stop by and congratulate him. There was a couple of American guys, probably in their early 20s just completely trashing this place saying its not authentic and that they did it better in Texas. So after I had finished talking with my ex-coworker I turn around and tell the two American men that if they wanted authentic bbq they should just go back home to America, no one is subjecting you to this restaurant.
The Secret Code
We did this but fortunately it wasn't mean! My husband is American born and raised but grew up speaking German with his family. He wanted our kids to be bilingual so speaks only German with them. My kids and I were at Chincoteague Island in Virginia where a lot of Amish people like to vacation. We were in line at an ice cream parlor behind a group of about 20 Amish, including 7-8 teen girls. My daughter is used to speaking German to me as if it's a secret code, and said, 'Look at what they're wearing, those dresses and bonnets. And look at their hair, so thick and shiny! They all look pretty.' The girls turned en masse and looked at her in surprise, which in turn surprised her, and I told her, 'They clearly understood everything you just said!' She looked embarrassed, then shrugged and answered that she didn't say anything she wouldn't have said to their faces. It was still a new experience for her.
I'm a white American. I speak Spanish almost fluently. So I used to work in retail at the local shopping mall, and I noticed this couple and their grown daughter shopping in my section. The parents didn't speak English and their daughter was acting as their interpreter in the store. So after a while of them being on my radar, I noticed that the daughter was gone, and from the way the parents were talking I gathered that she'd gone to the bathroom. The wife was looking at sweaters and couldn't decide between the green one or the white one, and the husband was ready to leave, but wanted to wait on the daughter to do the transaction at the cash register. He was looking pretty impatient, so I went over and told them (in Spanish) that I spoke Spanish and could help them if they needed it. I then helped the wife pick out her sweater, took them to the register, and conducted the entire transaction in Spanish. They were extremely grateful and really friendly people. The daughter finally returned and tried to apologize, but I told her everything was fine. They left and my manager came over and said she'd seen what I'd done, very surprised. I said, 'I told you I spoke Spanish when I was hired, did you not believe me?' And she said, 'No, I thought you were lying to get the job!' We laughed and I went back to folding sweaters.
I'm Brazilian, but extremely white and I do look like an american when travelling abroad. I speak Portuguese, english, Spanish and I can understand some french. The most memorable moment of understanding what people are saying when they believe you don't, happened to me in Portland (OR) when I lived there. With all that rain, I've became even more white, and I was wearing my Pittsburgh Steelers cap. There was these 2 Brazilian girls speaking Portuguese in front of me in a line of a Blazers game, and they were being extremely rude to everyone, saying that everyone in america was fat, ugly and full of themselves. So, one of them looked at me and said to the other one "bom, esse aqui no gordo nem feio, mas aposto que se acha com esse bon" (well, this one is not fat or ugly, but probably is full of himself with this cap), I just replied "obrigado pelos elogios, e cuidado com o que vocs falam" (thank you for your compliments, and watch what you're saying). They apologized and got out of the line.
Was walking with my Polish friend and all of a sudden we see this gorgeous girl walking through the hallway. I say to my friend, 'Wow, she's beautiful' in Polish to my friend and the girl turns around and responds with 'thank you' in Polish.
People With Disabilities Are People Too
I'm an American but my Dad and his family are from Switzerland so I've had to learn some languages other than English if I want to keep up with my grandparents and cousins conversations. I've got pretty poor with my French but good enough that I can still listen in on other people's conversations. But, I was never expecting to be able to use this skill or surprise anybody's secret conversation since I live in Texas. But lo and behold, one day I was out shopping with a couple friends - one who also speaks French and German. I'm disabled from an accident that deformed my left leg - it's pretty obvious and people do tend to stare but that doesn't mean I'm going to go around covered up in pants all the time. It's too damn hot here! At lunch we overheard a mom talking with her son at the table next to us. The boy was about 7 or 8 years old and was totally fixated on my leg and the leg brace I wear - just typical kid curiosity and I was probably one of the few disabled people he's seen. The little boy was asking his mom what happened, why that girl's leg all messed up, why does she have to wear that brace. The Mom then starts talking badly about Americans and tells the boy I probably lost it in the war while killing a bunch of helpless people. She then goes on about how Americans are unhealthy, dumb, and should stay out of other people's business. My friend had gotten up to go to the restroom and came back and just casually asked how the meal was - in French. I answered her back and the mom looked mortified as it dawned on her I had heard the whole conversation. I wasn't rude but I did take the opportunity to tell the boy - who was legitimately concerned. I explained that I was injured in an accident but I'd be okay. So, I got to surprise someone being a jerk and got to show a little boy that people with disabilities are just regular people, so win-win.
You work hard for your money, you should be allowed to use it.
What's the most expensive thing you've bought?
Being an adult means sometimes, the most expensive thing you can buy, is something extremely practical and inoffensive.
Aw, That's Nice
"Diamond earrings for my mother. She believes that you can't buy diamonds for yourself, as a tradition, but no one has ever given her diamonds as a gift, so when I grew up and started earning money, I bought her earrings, she cried with happiness."
Should Have Kept It Small
"Small boat w/ trailer. Worst decision ever. I should've just gone with a kayak"
"Mountain bike. It cost more than any car I've ever owned"
"I only slightly regret the price because I should have gone higher. Yeti SB130 if you're wondering."
Treat Your Fingers
"An Ibanez Prestige guitar for 1500$. I've always played on normal priced guitars so wanted to try what the deal is with these higher priced guitars. The thing plays like a dream. Being new to a floyd rose bridge system, it is a pita but I'm sure I'll overcome this hurdle later. In case anyone is wondering, it is a model RG652AHM."
The most expensive thing you buy might not even be something you were expecting to spend a lot of money on. In fact, it might be something you didn't even plan on buying in the first place.
Something To Play On
"A ps4 at a third-world country."
"You think ps5 scalpers that sell the console for thousands of dollars are bad? That's cute. They ain't got shit on legit big stores that import the console legitimately and have to raise the price because of nasty import taxes."
"I bought a Gaming PC and the cost was like buying a Cheap Motorcycle in my country (Mexico)"
"Gaming in 3rd World Countries is hard , no wonder why everyone plays mobile games like Free Fire"
Do They Make Good Pets?
"I got pigeons as pets, 4 in total. My second pigeon I brought him (Pulgas) from a slaughter house cause I was looking for a mate for my first pigeon (Nieves). Well I ended up paying $20 for him and after a month he got really sick and we had to take him to the vet. After treatment and care the total cost was $550. And that's how I ended up with a $570 pigeon named Pulas, the little isopod of the house lol"Bormahu-3-
Buying Something That Might Explode One Day
"A freeze dryer. This thing had an 80 lb vacuum pump that ran on mineral oil and it could drop the air pressure of its chamber to below 300mTorr and the temperature to below -50 F. It would take about 36-48 hours to freeze dry 7 lbs of food. It was an electricity hog and probably could have exploded or caused a fire if operated incorrectly."
"I kept it in my parent's garage."
Looking at all the entries, for the average person, the most valuable thing you own might be the very thing you're living in.
Or clothes. It could be clothes.
"But it was worth it"
"Marriage is grand. Divorce is 5 grand."
Hurts Now. Pays You Back Later.
"Yep! And then all the things you need to work on in the house..."
"The Great thing about a house, though, is that while it is extremely expensive (absolutely the most expensive thing I have ever purchased by far) it is almost guaranteed to make you money over time. Where I live, housing is at a premium. We bought our first home a year and a half ago and it's estimated value has already risen $70 k. It's an investment that you also get to live in and enjoy. That's not something you can say about all expensive purchases."
It's A Storage Unit Full Of Useless Crap
"I'm going to clarify the question by adding "useless" to the sentence. The obvious answers as the question stands are going to be those big ticket items like a house or car, luxury or not."
"So what's the most expensive, useless item I have ever purchased?"
"Well, maybe useless wasn't the best choice but I bought an RV with a payout received from a court case. Should have paid bills or something. I rarely use it."
"I once dropped $3500 on "dress clothes" at Macy's only to never wear them because the office I worked at wasn't business formal."
"I pay monthly for a storage unit full of stuff I don't need or want but can't manage to get rid of."
"When I get a windfall like a bonus or stimulus check, I like to go on AliExpress or Joom and buy $2-300 worth of useless crap."
Don't fret over what you own. Enjoy it. There's no reason no to be thankful you could afford it in the first place.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Rules are in place to maintain some semblance of order. But that doesn't mean they are always effective.
There are many grammatical rules that are broken, like nouns acting as adjectives, or nouns acting like verbs.
To explore this concept and to hear input from strangers online, Redditor Shabbydarstqc asked:
"What 'exception to the rule' do you live by?"
According to these Redditors, telling the truth doesn't always set them free.
"Being honest. There's times where the truth isn't always for the better."
"You can be honest but you don't have to tell them everything you know."
Feel The Room
"Actually, when you are saying the truth you should consider why you are saying it. If it's to make someone look bad or yourself look good, you should say nothing at all."
Reeling It In
"Everything in moderation, including moderation."
"Basically, exercise restraint and self-control, but not to an extent that it bars me from new experiences, and with the understanding that it's okay to be a complete, sloppy disaster person sometimes."
Generally speaking, we should all treat everyone with kindness.
But, when we're wronged, do we take it lying down?
"Be nice to everyone, you never know what they are dealing with..."
"Except the b*tch that made a huge scene about my disabled son in a packed store at the checkout."
So What Happened Was...
"My son was 5 at the time. He has Septo-optic dysplasia, schizencephaly, and autism. Basically, he's missing two parts of his brain, had brain surgery for a large mass from the schizencephaly, totally blind in one eye and tunnel vision in the other. (It's honestly a miracle he is as functional as he is)."
"Anyway, we were behind the woman currently checking out. There was coloring books at the end of the check out line. He asked if he could look at them and I said that's fine. So he starting flapping his hands while walking that way because he was excited. The side she was standing on was the side he can't see out of. While flapping, his hand grazed her backside and she went off that he groped her. Yelled and pointed in the store that my 5 year old, that you can physically see is disabled- sexually assaulted her by groping her butt. Thankfully he had no idea the scene was about him because he was looking at the coloring books at that point. Im not one to yell, especially in public but I did. Then went to my car and cried wondering how many people like this he's gonna have to deal with in his life. It sucked."
It's all a matter of preference for these Redditors.
Being In Control
"Everyone in the neighborhood hires a lawn service to mow, weed, and trim their properties."
"I do my own - not because I can't afford it, but because I prefer the results when I do it myself."
"100%, same for food."
"$15 at home gets you a family meal and maybe leftovers, tastes good, decently healthy."
"$30 out gets you a family meal that is kind of meh, too salty and probably too greasy."
"Home Ec is a dying art."
"All things sugar free - except my coffee."
"Hah I'm the other way around. I love sugar, but keep it away from my coffee."
A Matter Of Taste
"Vegetarian except for lobster corn chowder."
"In my defense, the haters claim there is no actual lobster in the chowder so that's my excuse for eating it. It's been so long since I've had actual lobster that I forgot what it tastes like."
Going Off The Footpath
"Shoes. I just don't wear them unless I'm snowboarding, my boss is gonna show up to work, or I plan on doing a lot of walking around outside in the snow."
"I don't care about the needing to wear shoes signs at places."
As a general fan of cinema, I am open to watching all genres of film.
I'm also a huge fan of horror, and I can take bloody carnage, and everything having to do with the supernatural.
However, there is ONE film I refuse to watch, and that's Human Centipede.
Seriously, why would anyone ever watch it? I don't have to see it to know it is gratuitous and made for shock value only.
I challenge anyone that might argue it has artistic integrity. And if they try to make me watch it to prove a point, I just might allow them the win if only to spare me from puking my guts out.
Secrets, lies, and betrayal. That is often the foundation of a family. We can go through life thinking our families are perfect and everyone loves one another, that's the training that keeps us from searching for the skeletons in the closets.
But our secrets will always find a way to break free. We may not even be alive to see the outcome, which is anti-climactic, but they will be out of the dark eventually. And once we learn what some loved ones are hiding, life as we know it can be obliterated.
Some secrets may best be buried. So be really sure you want to know everything.
Redditor u/mykirto wanted to hear about all the family drama they've been uncovered, by asking:
What is the most f**ked up thing you found about your family?
My family has a history that includes the mafia, the FBI, murder in an asylum, alcohol, drugs... the list is endless. And I'd rather just watch Days of Our Lives.
Family IssuesStephen Colbert Love GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy
"My mother told me that my dad, wasn't my real dad, drunk one night when I was 16. That was 31 years ago. To this day his side of the family still thinks I'm his."
Show me the $$$
"One of my uncles borrowed $20,000 from my other more successful Uncle to start a business and refuses to pay his more successful brother back because he's "got so much money already". The more successful uncle refuses to sue him because that's not what family does, but they are no longer on speaking terms."
Mum is crazy...
"My great-grandmother helped cover up a murder. Claimed the guy was a psychopath and attacked her daughter and granddaughter for no reason. In actuality, my mum was going through a phase where she would try to get men turned on by rubbing her arse on them. This guy pushed her off and told her to screw off."
"My mum took offence to this and claimed the guy was trying to take her clothes off. My grandmother, who was on all the drugs, came out of her room and stabbed the guy to death to protect her daughter. My mum told the truth after the guy was dead and they came up with a cover up story so that they wouldn't get in trouble."
We were on a BREAK!!!
"My grandpa and grandma broke up for a few weeks in August 1962. In that one week my grandpa got drunk one night and got the woman living across the hall from my grandma pregnant, and my grandma had a fling with a married man while on the late shift as a bartender and got pregnant herself. My grandparents got married and my grandma passed my aunt barb off as my grandpas child."
"The other woman gave my aunt Joyce up for adoption. Both were born exactly a week apart. 30 years later my mom was getting married and visited my Grandmas sister to hand out wedding invitations. My Grandmas sister decided that was the perfect occasion to tell my mother out of nowhere that my Aunt Barb was not my grandpas biological daughter. My mom was shocked and confronted my Grandma after the visit and who denied it."
"My mom then decided stupidly to keep it secret. It was kept a secret from my Aunt Barb for 40 years until my aunt Joyce found my grandpa and looked exactly like him. That is when my aunt Barb had a DNA test done and confirmed she wasn't his daughter. It took my aunt barb 17 years to find her real fathers family and she finally found them last year. They all accepted her into the family."
WTFSteve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy
"My Dad lives in his car and is only given enough money for basic food and is only allowed in the house to clean it. He's more of a household servant than anything."
Yeah, that is a whole lotta mess. That's why sometimes you just have to change your name, or fake your death. These people are crazy.
CaptorFrustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy
"I have done extensive genealogical research and found that my maternal family enslaved over 700 human beings."
"My grandad had sex with everyone of my grandma's 5 sisters, over about 40 years, 3 he had long term affairs with. It all came out at my grandma's 60th birthday party when everyone had too much to drink. Fun times, trying to get between several old women, trying to prevent them from punching one another."
"While cleaning out a relative's house after his funeral, we discovered that the family member was virtually on a first name basis with every major law enforcement department (city, state and federal) within a 100 mile radius. Among other things, he had consulted on FBI cases."
"He wore his disdain for all politicians openly. So, imagine our surprise to discover that he'd been invited to almost every Presidential inauguration within the last forty'ish years. I never had any illusions that I ever truly knew this family member. But if I had, they would've gone away after discovering all that stuff."
"My great grandfather would lock my uncle in one of those big metal toolboxes you sometimes see in the back of trucks for hours as a form of punishment when he was a kid. I can't even imagine how hot it must have been being locked up outside in one of those during the summer. He must have been terrified. I see now why my uncle's a drug addict with a crap ton of mental health issues. And that's not even the worst thing my great grandfather did but that's not my story to tell."
Lord DNA can be messy. And now I want to know even less of my family's past. I'm going to cancel my Ancestry DNA package. Let's be strangers.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
There are some things that society just seems to expect adult humans to be able to do, but it looks like not everyone got the memo.
Whether due to never being taught, or a simple inability to pick up the skill no matter how much you practice, there are some things that some folks just can't do.
I was a teenager before I was finally able to properly ride a bicycle, and even now I'm not a stranger to falling off. Let me tell you: flying over the handle bars of a bike hurt a heck of a lot more at 25 than it did at 15.
Reddit user DeterminedGames asked the folks over on AskReddit:
Whistle While You Work
I can't whistle.
I'm certain it has something to do with the shape of my mouth and tongue. Been trying to whistle for 20 years and all i've managed is a very deep single tone that sounds like wind through an old building lol
Ugh I even watched YouTube tutorials and read a whole wikiHow article and I am still unable to do it.
Sticking With It Is Hard
Long-term passion for an activity.
There are people who remain active in a single hobby or club for decades. I can't do that. I burn out on most things after a couple months max.
I'm the same but I've convinced myself it isn't such a bad thing.
I enjoy trying new things and I'm kind of the 'jack of all trades but master of none' type, which I think is probably more useful in day to day life, rather than being really specialised at something.
I’ve always struggled with that. lately I’ve been trying to wrap new hobbies into my old ones. Oh, you’re tired of woodworking but doing photography? Guess what we’re filming your woodworking now!
Is It Worth It, Though?
Neatly folding the laundry. Usually it looks... acceptable. Unless it's a fitted sheet, then it just looks chaotic.
Shower thought: but is it worth it?
I can’t roll my R’s
So I’ll never be able to properly speak Spanish or impersonate AOSTH Robotnik
Same, my mother tongue has a lot of rolling Rs and I just never clicked it. It's taken me years of practice to even manage to do it properly occasionally, and if there are a lot of consonants around the R, there's no way I'm gonna say it right. People frequently laugh at my pronunciation of certain words in said language bc I sound like a lil kid or that dude in the Princess Bride. Meanwhile my younger brothers, who've lived in the UK all their lives, can speak the language with perfect accents. :/
Words Are Hard
I forget words and end up silent or saying something really stupid and then it's awkward.
I feel that, people always seem to have every word they need ready, and I'm just sitting there thinking of a single world that fits the situation...
I feel you. Sometimes I’m at the end of my sentence and then just forget the last part. I just give up on the sentence when that happens. Sometimes other people finish the sentence for me which is pretty awkward.
As Long As It Works
I can only tie my shoes by doing bunny ears
Yeah same and I don’t give a damn that I can’t do it the ‘adult’ way.
What's That Look For?
When someone gives me 'a look' I have absolutely no idea what they mean
People shouldn't always expect people to pick up on subtle signals, even if they think it's very obvious themselves.
And then they get mad because I couldn’t understand the “weshouldgotalkoutsidewhiletheyaregoingtodancesothatwecanbealoneandeatsomefreepizza” look. what the f**k?
I can't even make straight lines due to my hands being so shaky. Fortunately I can get around this by using art programs with bézier curves and other shaping tools.
Drawing is an unfathomable mystery to me. I just don't understand how people can do it. I've never been able to.
Talking to people randomly. I can carry the conversation for hours with literally anyone, but they have to initiate it
My brother is 48. He mostly has his same friend circle as we did in high school. Other people can be around for years but if they haven't initiated a conversation with him. He doesn't speak to them. People have said they thought he was an arrogant a*s but one day they said something to him directly and he talked their ear off. He's shy, not arrogant.
I Want To Ride My Bicycle
Bike riding. Never learned because I had supposed epilepsy and fainted a lot when younger.
I can't ride either. Tried to learn as a kid but couldn't get the hang of it. Friends tried to teach me as a bigger person. I can go, but can't turn. I'm afraid of getting hit by a car too.
You might get teased for not being good at any one of these skills. But the likelihood is, if you've made it this far without the skill, you're probably fine.