Bilingual People Share Their "They Didn't Know I Spoke The Language" Stories
Being bilingual can be beneficial in more ways than you can imagine. First perk that comes to mind is you can be a translator at your job if a tourist on the street needs directions. That's boring, though. What about romantically wooing someone in a different country? Even better, what about dropping ears into another conversation people think you don't understand? Surely, that's the best.
Reddit user, u/SpiralArc, wanted to know about the times when people though they were in the clear to badmouth others in a different language when they said:
Bilinguals of Reddit: what's your "they didn't know I spoke their language" story?
The Terror Knowing We're The Same
I look mixed. I'm full Cambodian but I've been confused with being mixed with Black. When I was 7 I went with my mom to her doctor in Long Beach, which is mainly Cambodian populated in that area. My mom went inside her doctor's office, leaving me in the waiting room. As soon as the office door closed, these two old Cambodian ladies start talking sh-t in Khmer saying how she's a single mom (she's not), and how she had a Black baby (me) and that's such a shame bc she made my life miserable.
They also said my skin color was ugly and I had a Black nose, etc. I just sat quietly, looking at them until one realized "Oh snap, maybe she understands Khmer." And asks me "Hey, do you know your dad?" And I just replied back in our language, "Yeah and he's at home waiting for us. And we have the same skin color so that means yours is ugly too."
Both of their faces dropped it was great and they had the audacity to tell my mom that I was rude when she came out.
Don't Let Ethnicity Trick You
I wasn't the bilingual one, but my bilingual friend was really the star of the show. I am a straight guy and my bilingual friend is gay. We were in college for summer school 20+ years ago and everyone taking classes stayed in the same old dormitory. It was a school with a lot of international students who had even greater representation in the summer because they typically didn't fly home for just three months. My friend had a computer, I didn't, so he told me I could go into his room any time and use it if he didn't need it at the time.
My friend was white, but had spent a number of his childhood years in Japan and spoke Japanese like a native. We were talking and walking down the hall toward his room and two Japanese exchange students began talking to one another in Japanese, looking at us and snickering. My friend looks over and starts dressing them down in absolute perfect Japanese and they are horrifically embarrassed. They began profusely apologizing and hurriedly waking away. I turned to my buddy, What did they say?"
"They were making some disparaging remarks about your sex life, so I told them they were wrong and not to be rude," he said. Then he quipped, "They were making some disparaging remarks about my sex life, too, but those were all true."
Don't Mock The Walk
I worked as a part time clothing model for a while in an arab country, i am arab but i dont look like it apparently. Anyways, we had to walk around this convention and show the clothes, wearing heels on a carpet floor. I was young (around 16) i didn't know how to walk really well in heels yet and the carpet floors didn't help either, the women there didn't know i spoke arabic and started making fun of how I'm walking, i went up to them and asked them where the bathroom was in arabic they looked so surprised and embarrassed at the same time it was lovely.
Don't Ever Assume
An american family was commenting on people on public transport in my city (nordic). EVERYONE understood them. it went on for a few moments before some local kids (10-13) started commenting back.
"yeah. he does look rough, but its us you really gotta watch out for we grew up in the hood" and so on. Love those kids.
Best Watch Yourself, Even In A Bar
At a bar with a Russian buddy of mine. Grew up there and moved to the states when he was 12 or so. He adapted to English really well so he has no accent whatsoever. Both of the bartenders were Russian (you could tell by the accents) and were having a conversation. Friend looks to me and says "D-mn, they're talking some mad sh-t right now". I asked him about who and he said the other dude across the bar in the blue shirt.
I asked what they were saying and he said they were just roasting him in general. I asked if they said anything about us and he said not yet but would say something back in Russian if they did. They ended up not saying anything about us but right before we left, he said to them in Russian "You should speak a bit nicer of your customers". I don't think I've ever seen someones face turn a brighter shade of red than that.
Tattoos Don't Dictate Life
I'm fairly tattooed and I was working in retail, in a shoe shop. I was serving a very rude woman and her daughter, both of whom clearly thought they were better than me, and every time they asked for shoes they told me (in English) that I was very slow to fetch them and bad at my job (I was only on like my third shift).
The atmosphere turned pretty sour because obviously they were being rude and it annoyed me, and as I was boxing up the shoes they wanted, the mother turned and said to her daughter something like 'don't ever get tattoos, this is the kind of person that has them, working in retail with absolutely no brains and tattoos reflect that! bla bla bla' in Italian. I simply replied 'non sono d'accordo, ma grazie' [i disagree, but thank you]. She looked absolutely humiliated and quickly left!
Never Try To Cheat The House
I used to work as a dealer in a casino where our biggest richest clients were Chinese. I don't look Chinese but I could understand and speak it. Sitting down on my table, they thought it was safe to discuss techniques to be sneaky behind my back (and also talk about me a little, I'm a young girl so I got some creepy remarks).
They never understood how they never got away with things as I never made any indication I understood them.
Can't Forget The Money
Late to the party but once when I was younger I went to the park with my sister. We look very white and no one would know both of us to speak Mandarin fluently unless we told them.
Some money must've fallen out of my sisters pocket and in Mandarin we hear a mother talking to her daughter and telling her not to let us know we dropped money so that they could pick it up after we left.
Both of us turned around straight away and my sister picked up her money while both of us gave them dirty looks and we changed our conversation to Mandarin. The look of horror on both of their faces will forever be burned into my head.
Got Both The Wins
I was playing chess with some guy and he was talking to a friend. My opponent starts talking to his [friend] in French, which I can understand. He was saying stuff like "my opponent sucks, I'm gonna easily beat him". It was pretty amusing watching him criticize me and then I still beat him (he was pretty bad but so was I back then). I told him I understand French after I beat him.
Sometimes, It's Best To Go Along With It
Visiting South Korea with my wife, a native of that country. I'm shaped like a lumberjack, and have a big, red lumberjack beard to match. A group of Korean women in their 50s and 60s nearby were laughing and calling me a "bear" which I found hilarious. So one of the older ones says, "Gom" ("bear") to me as she passes by, and I start laughing. She makes that face like, "Did he understand what just I said?" So I raise my arms and make a playful growl at her. She is horrified and starts apologizing while her friends all cover their mouths and giggle, as Korean women customarily do.
I love Korea.
Money makes the world go round.
It contributes to the betterment of society.
Well, that is what we're led to believe, right?
That is why so many of these big billion-dollar companies get fabulous tax breaks.
But sadly so many big-money jobs only help themselves.
In fact, a lot of fancy, money careers only focus on the green and not the people.
Redditor ThurnisHailey wanted to discuss the careers that leave little to help the world, so they asked:
"What high-paying jobs contribute very little to society/humanity?"
Anti-Robinhood
Real Estate Realtor GIF by South ParkGiphy"My sister makes a lot of money in real estate. She helps rich people get even richer."
Ieatalot2004
"To be fair, most jobs are helping rich people get richer."
nBrainwashed
Useless
"As a marketing manager, I can tell you I have one of the most useless jobs in the world."
erose994
"What do you actually do as a marketing manager? I'm just curious."
bertolintus
"Mostly wrangle the opinions of 8,000 people who all think a project should be executed differently and all feel like it needs to be done yesterday. And pass that project through a complicated and overly bureaucratic system of approvals until it inevitably stalls out in a VP's inbox, and you have to send them 3 reminder emails just to get it done."
"Other than that... Talking to agencies (at least where I work, we outsource our graphic design, social media, and advertising work to third parties), building annual strategies, planning social media and email content, and occasionally getting to do something fun like writing a blog post."
"Oh, and managing budgets. But it's budgeting season right now so that's a touchy subject."
erose994
Data Collection
"Some of the best-paid people are figuring out how to collect as much data about you as possible to show you the best adverts. Or how to shave off milliseconds off a trading decision and build better arbitrage strategies to buy and sell the same thing millions of times."
Weak_Commercial_7124
The Middle
"IT middle management. I always thought they did nothing, then I was promoted to one and now I can actually confirm it."
"Do nothing, contribute nothing. Worthless."
RedditWhileImWorking
"I honestly think middle management is all about what you make it. If you're motivated and WANT to make things happen for the better, I think you generally can, but it's also very easy as a middle manager to just maintain the status quo and literally do nothing but collect a paycheck."
TinaBelchersBF
Complicated
people love GIFGiphy"Hospital administration. Obviously, hospitals are important and are complicated systems that need proper management, but any doctor, nurse, etc. can tell you that hospital admins aren't exactly looking out for your health and safety."
dancingbanana123
It's sad to learn hospitals are a scam. Tragic.
Office Time
Staring Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Administrators who spend a lot of time inside an office in calls or meetings but have very little to do with the hands-on work that actually advances stuff."
Ukhupa
Dirt
"I'm using a burner account. I'm a political strategy advisor which is code for opposition researcher. I work for a federal government party in my country. I research for gossip or dirt on our political opponents and feed stories to the media to disparage them and have us win elections. I feel all I do is make people more disenchanted with politics."
Clean-Elephant9363
Moochers
"During the pandemic, didn't you notice that the 'essential workers' were often paid minimum wage? Seems like the important jobs that actually keep everything running are not being paid much at all, most of the time. All the value of their labor is being sucked out of them by the wealthy moochers who just happen to own the company but never do any work."
Pipboypipboycheerio
Liars
dominic cooper preacher GIF by Amazon Prime Video UKGiphy"Megachurch preachers are evil AF."
MpVpRb
"The fleecing of gullible sheep is a story as old as humanity."
wittie2
Well, people certainly had some feeling about these career paths. What do you think? Do you have anything to add?
While we may not all want to admit it, most of us would really like to be remembered for something.
It might be something as simple as being remembered as an excellent friend or it might be something as big as winning the Nobel Prize.
No matter what it is we want to be remembered for, we all have a unique story to share, but only a select few will choose to share that story through writing a book.
Redditor Caseated_Omentum asked:
"If you were writing an autobiography, what would your opening sentence be?"
The Unreliable Narrator
"I am not a reliable narrator of my own life."
- profanearcane
"I wrote my autobiography a couple of years ago because I have bad memory issues… and this was pretty much my first line, as well."
- solargalaxy6
Good Start
"When I was born, I briefly held the record for being the youngest person alive. It was all downhill from there."
- peon47
Charles Dickens, Is That You?
"My birth was announced with notices in two English local newspapers: It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times."
- BobBobBobBobBobDave
In Hindsight
"Looking back, I realize that I brought it all upon myself."
- Keefer1970
Something Out of a Douglas Adams Novel
"…I saw a portal. The portal was called, 'Earth, the Suckiest of all Realms.'"
"There was a neon flashing arrow with the words, 'You will regret coming here.'"
"And I said, 'Well, what the f**k. How bad could it be?'"
"And so I entered…"
- Louise-the-Peas
The Big Disclaimer
"Do not under any circumstances attempt to replicate or reenact any experiences in this book."
- Spirited-Reaction257
"Put a big red DISCLAIMER on the front."
- NidzoKamikaza
"These stunts were not done by professionals or under the supervision of professionals. Please do not attempt to replicate or copy anything I recount in these texts."
- GuyNamedWhatever
Solo from the Beginning
"Neither of my parents showed up for my own birth."
- TheBoldHold
"'I was born an orphan' is actually possible and would be an epic, tragic way to start an autobiography."
- Arild11
Repressed Memories
"Most of what I remember didn't happen, and most of what I don't remember did."
- ElHoser
No Refunds
"You made a mistake buying this book."
"EDITED TO ADD: I know it's supposed to be the first sentence, but since you guys REALLY liked it, I’ll extend it a bit:"
"Seriously, you could have spent your money on anything else, yet you spent it on this. There is nothing interesting about my life. But oh well, there are no refunds, so you might as well just read it."
"This might be a fan favorite, or that one book you read a couple of pages of, then put in the drawer where it lies for the rest of eternity. But I got my money anyways so I don’t care. Good luck with the rest of your life, and good luck on maybe reading this book."
- Brotastic29
Very Meta
"In the beginning, [Anonymous] was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
- Cultural_Bison_6306
Run, Forest, Run!
"Despite what Forrest Gump said, life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates."
"EDITED TO ADD the second sentence:"
"It is more like a box on Minesweeper: you pick a blue tile and you never know if you're safe or if your f**king brains are gonna be blown out."
- radioactiveteacup
So Unfair
"Just because my parents wanted to f**k back in 1964, I'm stuck here cleaning up everyone's f**k-ups."
- TrailerParkPrepper
"Your username seems intriguingly relevant."
- WillieFast
"Ask yourself this, is he a prepper living in a trailer park, or does he prep said trailer park?"
- nxnphatdaddy
"I want to read the book about a person who preps trailer parks."
- hp640us
What a Journey
"So I was chilling out in this super comfortable uterus when suddenly..."
- Viking_Hippie
"…I was evicted. My tenancy agreement wasn’t even up for two more weeks!"
- yoursextape
"Actually, I was supposed to have gotten out on my dad's birthday, but I was so precocious that I knew then and there that staying a couple of weeks longer was the better play."
- Viking_Hippie
"I mean, it was really nice. For nine months, I didn't have a single problem or care in the world. I had a private, heated swimming pool, could sleep whenever I wanted to for as long as I wanted to, and I could daydream for hours."
"I never felt hungry, cold, sad, worried, or bored. I was constantly waited on and didn't have to do menial work (like breathing on my own)."
"But in the end, the living space felt kind of cramped and I just went with the flow."
- karayna
Let's Be Real
"I am not the type of person who writes autobiographies, and if you're interesting you likely don't read many; I will endeavor to make this entertaining for both of us."
- Organic-Roof-8311
Multi-Genre Crossover
"This book may seem like a work of fiction; a horror story, a Shakespearean tragedy, a heartwarming tale of hope; but I assure you, everything within the confines of these pages actually happened. The good and the bad."
- Frostbyte525
While not everyone is destined to write a book, or more specifically an autobiography, there were certainly some interesting starts here that we'd love to see more of.
It's a great reminder that there are more of us out there who could write a good story if we only gave ourselves the time to do it.
When it comes to possessions, everyone is different depending on the individual's tastes and demands.
After all, one man's trash is is another man's treasure, or so they say.
Possessions can also include intangible assets like ideas, talent, trademarks, and intellectual property.
While the list of these items is endless, there are some things people shouldn't go through life without having.
This was explored specifically applying to one gender when Redditorsimmer5523 asked:
"What is something every man should own?"
Listen up, gents.
Claiming Responsibility
"His f'kups."
– lrbiester
"Hi, Proud owner of many f'kups here, trying to be better."
– ghoul_legion
Staying Humble
"A self-awareness based sense of humor. I define this as a man understanding that it's okay to be the butt end of a joke. Don't hang your pride on being untouchable... if you lean into a joke, it passes you faster and nobody at all really cares. I have found that people think I'm more confident and charismatic than I actually feel."
– ManyThat9040
Stay Confident
"Self Respect."
– ChairmanSaab
"Sorry bro I lost that years ago along with any confidence in myself."
– danktt1
"You can always get it again."
– CharimanSaab
These can be practical necessities, regardless of gender.
This Holds
"A good quality bucket. You never know when you'll need it. This applies to everyone, not just men."
– Dhampyre-supreme
"And something in the larger size range."
– cCitationX
"Hey man, it’s not about size, it’s about how you use it."
– Christmas_Panda
Odds And Ends
"Add a flashlight with spare batteries, condom and Plan B, car jack, plunger, tire iron and weapon to the list of 'it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.'"
– 1vertical
These can definitely come in handy.
Dental Requirement
"A toothbrush."
– EnvironmentalMoney87
"I had a roommate once who didn't own a toothbrush. He just chewed gum and figured that was good enough. Some of the worst breath I've ever encountered."
– Nooples
Can't Live Without Them
"Tools, and a willingness to learn how to use them. Long term, there is practically no better investment."
– AdamOas
"The first rule of home repair and improvement : The one tool you do not yet own is the tool the next project will require."
– Proud-Wrongdoer5053
Cooking Essential
"A decent set of kitchen knives. Everyone, regardless of their gender should know how to cook."
– WhiskeysDead
"Chef’s knife, pairing knife, kitchen shears and a bread knife. Maybe a cleaver, that’s 95% of stabby/slicey/choppy kitchen related tasks."
– gratusin
These suggestions would help improve men's image.
Manner Of Dress
"Professional clothes."
"A suit is well and good, but a freshly ironed buttoned shirt and chinos with a belt will work too. A watch is also of benefit."
"As much as people say looks don't matter, it's a lie. The first thing you can possibly be judeged on is your appearance, second is how you carry yourself. Take care of your appearance, stand up straight, look forward, shoulders squared, look people in the eyes, and speak clearly."
"You don't need to always be looking or acting professional, but the ability to when necessary is invaluable. It's a great way to make a good first impression, which can open a lot of doors for you."
"You don't even need to be in good shape to do so. My brother is a heftier gent, and even still he has the ability to look very professional and carry himself in a way that draws both attention and respect."
– Nath_davies98
Stay Organized
"A good quality wallet. No velcro, football badge/camo effect effort. A nice wallet made of good quality material neatly containing all your important cards etc."
"Ladies spot these things."
– Specialist-Cake-9919
A handkerchief is something I like to carry when most guys don't.
They can easily go in men's pockets, and are not at all cumbersome to have on his person.
What's it good for?
To wipe off a moistened forehead, preventing runny noses, and wiping off armpit sweat before it appears on the expensive shirt he's wearing during a job interview.
The whole point is to never let them see you sweat–whether it's for a business meeting, giving presentations, or a first date.
Men can at least look classy on the outside under potentially intimidating scenarios with a hankie.
You're welcome.
The Best Ways To Tell If Someone's In An Open Relationship Or Actually Cheating On Their Partner
Views of commitment and monogamy in romantic relationships continue to evolve.
More and more couples have decided to open their relationships, seeing other people while still remaining committed to one another.
Dating someone who's in an open relationship can take some getting used to, however, as the feeling of knowing your new romantic interest is going home to their spouse or partner following your date is strange, to say the least.
Then too, can you ever be certain that they are in fact in an "open relationship," and not just cheating on their partner?
"How do you know when someone is really in an open relationship, and not a cheater pretending to be in one?"
When In Doubt, Don't...
"If you're feeling off about it, don't do it."- Massive-Ad7628
Bad Feeling I Anticipate Problems GIF by America's Got TalentGiphyConfirmation Needed From Both
"When the partner openly knows and acknowledges it."- EngineeringVirgin
"I was seeing a man who was married."
"He assured me that their relationship was open, that he had full permission to do whatever, and that if it would make me comfortable he would give me his wife’s number and she and I could chat."
"We saw each other for about four years."
"I went to pick him up at his house a couple times and his wife would say 'have a nice date!'."
"That’s the way to do it."
"Everything on the table."
"If there’s some sneakiness, something that makes you feel it’s not quite right, you need to listen to that feeling."- theyarnllama
"Ask to meet their partner."
"If they’re really open, it shouldn’t be a problem."- bloomautomatic
Threes Company Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphyAn Oldie But A Goodie...
"Ask them to pinky swear."- Still_kinda_hungry
Give Your Intentions A Second Thought As Well
"Agh."
"Ok so I’m in an open relationship with my partner and he hooked up with this girl, and we called her to go get a drink with us and she was like 'I knew he had a girlfriend, but I didn’t know you knew'.”
"After that I def didn’t want to hang out with her because she thought she was facilitating him cheating on me."
"Not cool."
"Intentions matter."- Physical_Witness_922
Ask And Answer
"In my experience, ask literally anything about what type of poly or open they are."
"Also anyone who isn't willing to get/show a recent std test isn't worth the risk."- Midori8751
just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyInstructional Videos
"My SO and I just make videos explaining the situation and ground rules."
"That way, our potential partner know what they are dealing with."- TagtheCat
Doesn't Hurt To Check...
"I slept with a woman who was in an open marriage."
"Her husband called to check on her and ask if she was ok."
"She said she was fine and that was the extent of the call. I think that’s a pretty good indicator."- Fit-Concern-81
It's All About The Reaction
"When they introduce you to their SO as their lover and the SO is fine with it."
"Open relationships rarely sneak around on each other."- welltriedsoul·
“'So like…. You know your husbands screwing Ashley right….??'”
“'Yeah I know'.”- AkKik-Maujaq
It Must Be A Mutual Decision
"In my experience, one of my ex's said we were in an open relationship, however I didn't know that."
"So yeah, that's a cheater."
"I briefly dated someone that was in an open relationship (the couple were long distance)."
"I spoke on the phone with the girlfriend before any sex happened so we could all be on the same page regarding boundaries and intentions, what protection will be used, testing, etc."
"It really wasn't awkward, and I appreciated knowing that everyone was aligned."- korova_chew
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIf They Say No, That's A Problem
"Ask them if you can talk to their partner."- vivi2626
Don't Ask, Don't Tell... Don't Date!
"I've been poly for closing in on 2 decades."
"I used to run a large poly meetup in a huge metro area."
"I've seen it all, personally talked to several thousand+ poly folks over the years, etc."
"I REFUSE to engage with anyone in a DADT policy at all at this point."
"HARD F*CKING PASS, the vast majority of the time its cheating."
"And when its not I swear 95% of the time is because the couple with the DADT policy hasn't done any work around opening up their relationship and there are a LOT of problems involved."
"And I want nothing to do with that huge nightmare of a cluster f*ck anymore."
"Here's my perspective and where it comes from."
"The amount of cheating I've seen is beyond staggering."
"A huge percentage of the women I know have run into TONS of men that are cheating and try to use poly, dadt, etc as a guise to do it."
"I have zero reason to put that much trust in someone I just met. It's the same reason I ask for proof of STI testing."
"I can't understand people with the attitude of 'if you can't trust them why are you with them' the whole point is you don't know them that well why would you trust them?"
"This is one step in establishing some trust."
"The ethical part of ENM is a big big deal to me, and I refuse to be complicit in cheating and be put in an unethical situation."
"If cheating was rare it would be a different situation, but f**k it's common."
"I've verified 100% of my partners are in ethical situations, and none of them had a problem with it."
"I've had a number of their partners thank me for actually checking."
"I'll accept a few options for verification, a phone call, voice chat, a brief text exchange while my date is present, a prerecorded voice / video message, or showing me snippets of a conversation where being poly is discussed / confirmed and there is a long-standing chat history with said person."
"Most of the time I had already met or seen their partner, so I already knew it was ethical."- f*cklifehard
Schitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphyMany couples have said that their communication and commitment has greatly improved after opening their relationships.
When one half of a couple seeing other people causes pain and unhappiness, however, it seems clear that that relationship is not open in a healthy way.
Particularly if only one person is truly benefitting from it.