Biliginual People Share Times They've Overheard People Trash Talking Them And Clapped Back
Even if you think the other person can't understand you.....they probably can. And then that's very embarrassing for you. So just don't do it or you might end up like these people.
Here are some of the stories.
I'm white but reasonably fluent in Korean. When I went to an orthopedist in Korea for elbow pain a translator was provided by the hospital and I figured I might as well talk through him in case there was any specific medical terminology I didn't know. After describing my symptoms and a brief physical exam where I was visibly in pain, the translator told the doctor that he thought I was only pretending.
The thing was, he was doing an absolutely terrible job of translating even prior to that, so I quickly responded 'and you're only pretending to know English' (in Korean). The doc actually cracked a smile and the translator spent the rest of my visit sitting in his seat without saying a single word.
Funny, But Whoops!
Kinda the reverse, was visiting Hiroshima in Japan and walking around alone. Then i see a caucasian guy walk up to me, and in fluent Japanese asked me to take a photo of him in front of one of the monuments. For context, I'm Asian but I don't speak a word of Japanese. So after a couple of seconds i said "Uh.... do you speak English?".
Awkward silence ensues. He goes "uhhh... yeah". Easily made my day. We did make small talk after (oh hey where are you visiting from, etc) but went our separate ways.
Almost been on the other side once. I live near german border. Once, together with my wife and daughter we decided to go to nearby german town for shopping. While we are entering a mall, my daughter (`13-14yo) tells me how cool is that nobody really can understand what we're talking about and we can practically say everything we want. In the same moment, security guard standing next to entrance grins and greets her with perfect polish "Dzie? Dobry". (Good Morning)
I didn't realize that her skin tone could get that red. I just thanked that man for mild but practical lesson.
First time I visited Montreal was on a school trip. I'm from Alberta, and our hotel receptionist knew this. I guess she had assumed we couldn't speak French, which, looking back, was pretty stupid of her. What kind of school would send non-French speaking kids to the only French province? Anyway. One of my friends was having an asthma attack, and the receptionist muttered under her breath, "étouffé, s'il te plaît." (suffocate, please) To which I responded, "Madame, parlez-vous à tous vos clients de cette manière?" (Madam, do you speak to all of your customers this way?) Not super clever on my part, but it shut her up.
Was sitting on the London tube on the way back from a long day at work, and overheard two older Irish ladies who had moved to London a good 40+ years ago speaking to each other in broken Irish.
They had just come from a Irish meetup event and were lamenting the fact that the Irish language was slowly dying off.
I was dressed in my suit like all the rest of the other city drones so there was nothing to single me out as Irish. (p.s I'm not ginger :) )
I leant over casually with a smile and said "Níl an teanga marbh fós" which translates to "The language isn't dead yet."
The surprise on their faces, and the smiles that followed were priceless, will never forget it! ?? ????
I've got two cases of this. One is me, one is an old co-worker. I was on a train in the UK recently and it was pretty full. There was a French couple stood near me who ended up trash talking the people around them. As soon as they got to me, I interrupted and said "Stop. I understand you." They eyed each other and shut up.
The other one is the flip side! Ex-colleague's friend is on a train in France, drunk and trash talking (in English) one particular woman sat a couple of seats behind. The woman doesn't interrupt and sits listening to it all. When it's time for her to get off, she walks by the ex-colleague's friend and says "I understood every word you said." The ex-colleague's friend almost died of embarrassment and shut up for the rest of the journey.
Trash Talking Their Own Country
I was on vacation in Turkey in 2016. On the first day I was at the beach like everybody would do. Of course I didn't know my way around the hotel so I just left my towel on the beach chair and went to my room to go on the toilet instead of aimlessly looking around the place for one. When I came back to my spot there was an older russian couple taking the chairs next to me. I laid back in my chair, put my hat on my face and just tried to snooze for some time in the shade.
A couple minutes later I hear the woman next to me saying "Look at those germans! Sleeping until until noon but always having to reserve the best spots early in the morning! F-ing nazis!" (in russian of course).
Some time later I woke up and had to pee again. I put my hat on the table next to me and asked them in russian "Do you undertand russian? Do you know where the nearest toilet is?".
The woman was turning so red you could mistake her for a tomato. Her husband told me where to go and so I went after I said thank you - in russian again. When I came back they were gone. I haven't seen them again until one week later on the flight back. To Germany. In the seats next to me.
I said I had hoped that they have enjoyed their vacation and asked if they mind me taking the seat next to the window so they wouldn't have to wake me mid flight to get up. While I didn't get any sleep on the flight they also haven't said a single word. Turns out they are living just a couple streets away from me since we all took the same subway and tram back home after landing at the airport.
I live in Finland and every summer we get some obnoxious middle aged tourists who feel free to comment on people's appearances in plain English. FYI: everyone here understands you from age 10 to 60 at least.
Little Snap Judgements
My family is Georgian (the country) and I speak Georgian. This December, I went to visit family with an American friend. I stand out a bit but usually I'm not a dead giveaway, however she was. We (or I guess just I) overheard more than a couple of pretty rude, but honestly kinda funny comments in the streets, mostly from older people commenting on us being American and "dressing weird."
I'm one of the palest people I know, add to that blonde hair and a thick, northern (UK) accent I look like the last person on the planet to speak a middleastern language. We married into an Egyptian family and we spend plenty of time there, my Arabic isn't amazing but I can get by. I live for the horrified look on people's faces when I switch to Arabic. I used to do debt collection for a utility company and had a gentleman who refused to pay his bill. He called me all kinds of horrific names, I quickly told him in Arabic that I absolutely wouldn't tolerate language like that, that I was trying to help him and that he was bringing shame on his family. He stuttered for a good few minutes, apologized and ended up paying. However I got into trouble at work because all calls are recorded at the call centre and management were unable to review my call because they couldn't understand what I was saying. They were worried I could have said something offensive etc. So from then on we were forced to use professional translation services only on three way calls, which was an absolute pain.
Mountains Of Embarrassment
Mine is a pretty general story. Nothing too exciting but it still makes me grin when I think back on it.
Was traveling in Austria, getting on a shuttle to go from Innsbruck to a small little town higher in the mountains. I was chatting and laughing with a few friends as I got on, my American accent on full display. There were two older women who gave us weird looks as we boarded, and we sat down across the aisle and just behind them. Almost as soon as we sat down, one turned to the other and said in German, "Stupid American tourists are always so loud." I was sitting nearest to them on the aisle, so I leaned forward and said in my far less perfect (but still understandable) German, "and you're not as quiet as you think."
It was a looooooonnggg ride of pleasant silence up through the mountains.
I look quite not italian, but certainly European, long dark hair and quite pale skin. At the time I was on vacation with my family, including my old grandpa suffering from Parkinson's and dementia and I was in the best shape of my life. We were visiting Italy and looking at all the old stuff my grandmother remembered while I pushed her around in a wheelchair in the hilly cities around the Garda Lake.
One day while my family and I were taking a stroll, I notice two ladies in their 40s discussing me in German, a language I don't speak, but definitely understand. The conversation sounded a bit like:
"Look at that handsome young lad. Pushing around his grandmother, he is so nice"
"And good looking too!"
Bad news my father and stepmother I was travelling with also understand German and I haven't seen my dad with that kind of s*-eating-grin for ages. So now I get teased about pulling old German ladies at family dinners.
Just recently when I was in Malta. My friend is Bulgarian and she has friends from all over the place there too, so we all speak English. However I'm dutch and when were eating at this restaurant, there was this one old dutch couple relatively close to our table. The guy kept swearing because he thought we were too loud, but we really weren't, it just seemed they were a bit bitter and sour because they had nothing to say to one another. Swearing in dutch is a bit special too since compared to most languages it's incredibly harsh. It's basically wishing diseases like Cancer and Typhus to one another.
At some point he was just kind of mumbling swear words one after the other pretending to look outside the window, when even his wife was telling him to stop. So I turned and I asked in dutch "everything alright, nice weather out isn't it?" They replied back in kind and I didn't hear him swear for the rest of the evening.
I know a decent amount of ASL (American Sign Language) and was in my second college course learning ASL when this happened.
My younger sister's friend was going to buy a puppy and wanted me to go so she wasn't meeting strangers alone. The group of people we are meeting get out of the car and we realize they are Deaf.
The girl selling the puppy to my sister's friend starts talking to her and I'm just chilling off to the side.
Another girl and a guy were off to the side also. The girl was signing stuff about me and my sister's friend being 'hearing' and just rude stuff in general. I don't remember much, but the guy noticed I was watching the conversation. He told the trash talker to quit because he thought I could understand what she was saying. She blew him off and continued.
Eventually my sister's friend buys the puppy and as we are saying 'goodbyes' I sign, "Thanks for meeting us. Have a great day and have a safe drive home." I swear to god the dude that was telling the trash talker to be quiet earlier about pissed his pants laughing at her. It made my day.
My Glasses Can Hear, Too
I went on a vacation to the keys like a year ago and I walk into the bathroom at my hotel and as I'm going to go into the stall this Cuban janitor lady sees me and tells me in broken english that I can't come in.
I say okay and as I'm leaving she says "Tiene espejuelos por gusto, No ve ni pinga"
Pretty much saying I have glasses for no reason and that I see f-ck all.
Now I'm a 6"1 white-skinned dude with light brown hair and green eyes, Far from a typical Cuban.
I walk back inside the bathroom when I hear her say that and tell her
"Miss, I'm Cuban too, I heard what you said"
She gets red like a tomato and denies ever saying anything.
And An Insult, Too
I am fluent in Spanish because I lived in a Spanish speaking country and my wife and her family are all native Spanish speakers. But as I am fairly pale most dont expect me to speak Spanish.
One day when I was working retail I was helping this Latino family: abuela (grandmother), husband wife and kids; who all spoke English very well, buy a computer.
Since they all spoke English I didn't mention me being able to speak Spanish. However when I recommended a more expensive computer that they were looking at (the one they wanted sucked and wouldn't have been good for what they wanted to do). The abuela spoke to the husband in Spanish saying "this gringo doesn't know what he's talking about get the cheaper one".
I looked her dead in the eye and responding in Spanish said "I actually know exactly what I'm talking about as I have been doing this for many years." I then turned walked away to check and see if we had the one I was recommending in stock. The abuela didnt say another word the entire time they were there and they bought the computer I recommended.
Another story is my wife and I went to the Mexican consulate and when I asked a security guard where the bathroom was, he responded to me in broken English that it was down the hall to the left. it happens constantly.
Learn Your Lesson
I was living in Jersey and got into a taxi. The driver was on the phone and started talking in Spanish to the other end about me; how he just picked up some white girl and then must've answered the "What does she look like?", saying I was cute for a white girl. I'm very light-skinned because I take after my dad, who's Cuban. My mom, who is Puerto Rican has very dark olive skin.
Once he got off the phone, I said to him in Spanish that he shouldn't always assume someone is a "gringa" just because he thinks they look it. His eyes about bugged out of his head and I laughed. He started apologizing and told him it was ok, because he didn't say anything too badly, but that I hope he learned a lesson.
Not me but my friend. Arabic is her second language (her dad is Jordanian, mom is american). At the grocery store the two young guys in line behind her at check out were going on and on in arabic about her large breasts and what they would do to her. Finally she's had enough and turns around let's them know she understood everything they just said. They were obviously shocked, embarrassed, and said nothing.
Turned Out Great
Somewhat related. I was on the bus in Chicago and there was a bunch of Chinese students on the bus. This old -ss white guy comes back there asking if it's the "Chinese section of the bus?" People are looking up slowly like WTF is this going? Old guy busts out some perfect Chinese. He'd traveled all over China with his brother after WW2.
We were visiting the Grand Canyon, and found ourselves on the same tour bus as a group of Germans. At the time, my mom was particularly heavy, which I guess one of the Germans took personal offense to, and loudly told her friends as much. Several laughed.
So my dad speaks German, and had a big issue with this, so he starts laughing with them and says in German, "that's hilarious! I like to tell jokes too. Want to hear one? It's about some very stupid Germans."
Needless to say, they did their best to avoid us after that.
He actually only recently told my mom what actually happened on that bus (at the time, he told her he accidentally offended them). She thought it was hilarious.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
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Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.
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