People Divulge The Biggest Red Flags Everyone Often Overlooks Early In A Relationship

Warning! Non-stranger danger!

That is a real thing, you know? We tend to not be as self-aware about warning signs and red flags in relationships. Why is that?

Is it love? Is it lust? Is stupidity? The answer is all of the above.

Sometimes we refuse to see what is right in front of us.

Other people see it and try to tell us, and we say they're the crazy ones.

The late, great poet Maya Angelou once said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

The warnings are there, you don't even have to look that hard.

RedditorExpensive-Bad-1111wanted to compare notes on what to look for as a warning when it comes to matters of the heart and humanity, they asked:

"What is a red flag that most people are unable to see early on in a relationship or while dating...?"

I can't tell you how many times I ignored red flags.

LOL (NOT)

Threaten You Want Some Of This GIF by BounceGiphy

"The jabs they claim are just jokes." ~ FreeMindRestFollows

I cut him off...

"Keeping the relationship a secret. Actually hiding it from his/her friend to the point no knows. Not private... secret." ~ Verdigris000

"I had a guy do that. We went to high school together. He knew my family, I knew his. A few years after graduation we reconnected. He wanted to keep it a secret. Why? You are not married, I am not married. He wanted to have sex with me, but he didn't want to define our relationship. I cut him off. I am not a booty call." ~ Bris50

Maybe she's perfectly happy?

"Cutting you off from your friends, and not permitting you to socialize without them. Recently lost one of my besties to a new beau who won't let her out of his sight. We'll catch up when it all goes south." ~ Stormallthetime

"This happened to a friend of mine at University. She was 18, was part of my friend group, and literally lived in our room. Anyway, there were some older uni students who ran the hostel we stayed in and the guy who lived in our block would hang out with us quite a bit."

"It turns out he was only hanging out with us because he was interested in her. They ended up going on a few dates, which we thought was 'cute' because he seemed like a nice and funny guy, but then we never really saw her after that. The last thing I remember her telling me is that, he had written a list of 20 rules for their relationship, one of which stated that they must spend at least 2 hours of quality time together everyday."

"Apparently they are still together, but I still feel like we lost a good friend and that he robbed her of just living a full life. He was in his mid 20s and was also her first proper bf… Maybe she's perfectly happy? But if I had a bf for a few weeks that wrote rules for our relationship, it would definitely not be a relationship!" ~ Wooowaaat

Liar

"My ex called herself a pathological liar and told me she would never lie to me, and cried to me multiple times over the phone begging me not to leave when i told her to chill out and I'm not going anywhere. 'I was a bit naive since she had never really hurt me at that point."' ~ KimJongUf_

The Boss

Not Funny No GIFGiphy

"When one person always determines when time can be spent together. If it feels like you're always the one compromising to find time together walk away it's not going to go well." ~ AudienceNervous1665

There is a difference between suggestion and control. Learn it. Fast.

Trivial

Go Away GIF by BounceGiphy

"Dismissing your feelings as trivial. A person who actually cares about you would consider your feelings about things as well, or at least attempt to understand." ~ Affectionate-Feed538

"forgetting"

"Always having strange reasons to not want to see you, "forgetting" your plans, being defensive or bit of a stand-off."

"Edit: I've seen a few people suggest and tell stories about memory issues or responsibilities that demanded full-time attention, and I just wanted to clarify that the case with my ex doesn't relate to any of these. My ex simply didn't have respect for my time or feelings and was just using me for sex when she was bored." ~ Cyanide_Revolver

Suggestions...

"When everything revolves around what they want to do. Their job, their social life, hobbies, where they want to live, go out to, go on holiday to, until you get to the point where you don't even know what you want to do anymore. It starts small, but builds quickly and you might not realise until it's too late."

"When you make suggestions or organise things it's usually met with negative comments, or the other person acting like a spoilt brat because it's not good enough, never good enough, so you just don't bother anymore." ~ MadamTheadoramoon

Besties

"Trying to take over your best friend (visiting them without you, confiding in them, telling them one sided stuff about your relationship). They are making sure you don't have a support system." ~ trs58

"My ex did this with my mother. Texted and messaged her, suddenly had the same hobbies as her so they hung out sometimes. I told him I didn't like it and he made it seem like she was the one saying hello all the time and inviting him to go fishing or whatever."

"It's hardly noticeable on its own but it is one of the things I can now identify as unsettling when I look back and see it in the context of everything that was going on. Like I swear he was trying to get me pregnant while I was between jobs and to get me to move to his hometown where I knew no one." ~ gagrushenka

Common Themes

Tell Me More Jeff Goldblum GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy

"If they keep complaining about multiple exes. In those situations, they are the common factor." ~ TheVantal

Walking away can be difficult. But it can also be the smartest thing you ever do.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

Teacher standing in front of a classroom
Photo by Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.

With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.

Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.

Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.

Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.

Always making for a memorable story.

Keep reading...Show less
woman in white crew neck t-shirt sitting on gray sofa
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.

However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.

Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.

Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.

Keep reading...Show less
A couple holds hands on a date, candlelit table and two glasses of red wine
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.

The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.

Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.

Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.

Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.

The truth is all we have.

Ask everything.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman letting go of boyfriend's hand
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.

But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.

Keep reading...Show less