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People Divulge The Biggest Red Flags Everyone Often Overlooks Early In A Relationship

Warning! Non-stranger danger!

That is a real thing, you know? We tend to not be as self-aware about warning signs and red flags in relationships. Why is that?

Is it love? Is it lust? Is stupidity? The answer is all of the above.

Sometimes we refuse to see what is right in front of us.

Other people see it and try to tell us, and we say they're the crazy ones.

The late, great poet Maya Angelou once said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

The warnings are there, you don't even have to look that hard.

RedditorExpensive-Bad-1111wanted to compare notes on what to look for as a warning when it comes to matters of the heart and humanity, they asked:

"What is a red flag that most people are unable to see early on in a relationship or while dating...?"

I can't tell you how many times I ignored red flags.

LOL (NOT)

Threaten You Want Some Of This GIF by BounceGiphy

"The jabs they claim are just jokes." ~ FreeMindRestFollows

I cut him off...

"Keeping the relationship a secret. Actually hiding it from his/her friend to the point no knows. Not private... secret." ~ Verdigris000

"I had a guy do that. We went to high school together. He knew my family, I knew his. A few years after graduation we reconnected. He wanted to keep it a secret. Why? You are not married, I am not married. He wanted to have sex with me, but he didn't want to define our relationship. I cut him off. I am not a booty call." ~ Bris50

Maybe she's perfectly happy?

"Cutting you off from your friends, and not permitting you to socialize without them. Recently lost one of my besties to a new beau who won't let her out of his sight. We'll catch up when it all goes south." ~ Stormallthetime

"This happened to a friend of mine at University. She was 18, was part of my friend group, and literally lived in our room. Anyway, there were some older uni students who ran the hostel we stayed in and the guy who lived in our block would hang out with us quite a bit."

"It turns out he was only hanging out with us because he was interested in her. They ended up going on a few dates, which we thought was 'cute' because he seemed like a nice and funny guy, but then we never really saw her after that. The last thing I remember her telling me is that, he had written a list of 20 rules for their relationship, one of which stated that they must spend at least 2 hours of quality time together everyday."

"Apparently they are still together, but I still feel like we lost a good friend and that he robbed her of just living a full life. He was in his mid 20s and was also her first proper bf… Maybe she's perfectly happy? But if I had a bf for a few weeks that wrote rules for our relationship, it would definitely not be a relationship!" ~ Wooowaaat

Liar

"My ex called herself a pathological liar and told me she would never lie to me, and cried to me multiple times over the phone begging me not to leave when i told her to chill out and I'm not going anywhere. 'I was a bit naive since she had never really hurt me at that point."' ~ KimJongUf_

The Boss

Not Funny No GIFGiphy

"When one person always determines when time can be spent together. If it feels like you're always the one compromising to find time together walk away it's not going to go well." ~ AudienceNervous1665

There is a difference between suggestion and control. Learn it. Fast.

Trivial

Go Away GIF by BounceGiphy

"Dismissing your feelings as trivial. A person who actually cares about you would consider your feelings about things as well, or at least attempt to understand." ~ Affectionate-Feed538

"forgetting"

"Always having strange reasons to not want to see you, "forgetting" your plans, being defensive or bit of a stand-off."

"Edit: I've seen a few people suggest and tell stories about memory issues or responsibilities that demanded full-time attention, and I just wanted to clarify that the case with my ex doesn't relate to any of these. My ex simply didn't have respect for my time or feelings and was just using me for sex when she was bored." ~ Cyanide_Revolver

Suggestions...

"When everything revolves around what they want to do. Their job, their social life, hobbies, where they want to live, go out to, go on holiday to, until you get to the point where you don't even know what you want to do anymore. It starts small, but builds quickly and you might not realise until it's too late."

"When you make suggestions or organise things it's usually met with negative comments, or the other person acting like a spoilt brat because it's not good enough, never good enough, so you just don't bother anymore." ~ MadamTheadoramoon

Besties

"Trying to take over your best friend (visiting them without you, confiding in them, telling them one sided stuff about your relationship). They are making sure you don't have a support system." ~ trs58

"My ex did this with my mother. Texted and messaged her, suddenly had the same hobbies as her so they hung out sometimes. I told him I didn't like it and he made it seem like she was the one saying hello all the time and inviting him to go fishing or whatever."

"It's hardly noticeable on its own but it is one of the things I can now identify as unsettling when I look back and see it in the context of everything that was going on. Like I swear he was trying to get me pregnant while I was between jobs and to get me to move to his hometown where I knew no one." ~ gagrushenka

Common Themes

Tell Me More Jeff Goldblum GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy

"If they keep complaining about multiple exes. In those situations, they are the common factor." ~ TheVantal

Walking away can be difficult. But it can also be the smartest thing you ever do.

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Ewww: People Break Down The Worst Food Sins They Can Imagine

Reddit user Shozo459 asked: 'What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?'

People sharing pizza
Klara Kulikova/Unsplash

When it comes to culinary mashups, nothing is as delectably perfect as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Chocolate and peanut butter in one bite? Heavenly.

Other food combos are not as popular but have a strong contingent of fans like pineapple on pizza or even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And then there are ones that are simply inexcusable.

Curious to hear examples of what foodies absolutely consider tastey bites, Redditor Shozo459 asked:

"What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?"

Trust the preparation.

That Is Soy Not Funny

"ketchup on sushi."

– BattleCatManic

I do believe you'd get your a** kicked for doing that."

– Mattress_Of_Needles

No Sauce Required

"Reminds me of this random sushi joint in osaka. Every pc had the wasabi inserted already. If the piece doesnt have a sauce (like eel), then its premarinated or salted. For normal fish, the chef brushes it with some kind of soy sauce blend."

"He reminded me that soy sauce would not be necessary almost every time he put a new piece on my plate. I asked what the soy sauce bottle is for then and he just shrugged."

"And we're talking about soy sauce not even ketchup."

– gabu87

Tough Meat

"Ok, not sushi, but. (I heard this from my kid....) My ex remarried to a southern woman who fancies herself to be a southern Belle. Instead, she's more of a Momma June. My ex cooked steaks for dinner one night. He will cook meat so it is BROWN straight through. Don't think about asking for it any way, but WELL DONE. In his world, any PINK in the beef means it's nearly raw.😳 So he cooked steaks for them. The wife starts eating and exclaims, 'This steak is soooo good it doesn't even need ketchup' My kid described the meat as being extremely tough and tasteless."

– stalagit68

That's just rude.

Expired Offer

"Eating my fries after I've asked you if you want me to buy you some."

– iggylevin

"So you've met my ex-wife? 'I'm fine' is a small fry and milkshake or frostee. And yes, she should use her words , but she won't, so you can choose to be right or to not have to sleep on the couch over fries and a milkshake."

– Jimmy_Twotone

Chili & Cinnamon

"Although it's not the worst sin imaginable, there's a weird regional dish where i live that involves pairing a bowl of chili with a cinnamon roll. Every potluck I've been to here has it. It's not for me but it's definitely unique."

– MayorOfVenice

Citrus Sin

"Orange juice flavored toothpaste and toothpaste flavored orange juice."

– shhjustwatch

"I gargle with orange juice after i brush my teeth. Power move. Show that plaque who's boss."

– MayorOfVenice

Who does that?

Gimme Some Skin

"Eating the skin off of someone else's fried chicken."

– Upbeat_Tension_8077

"I had a bucket of leftover KFC in the fridge, and my ex SIL came over to my house while I was at work and ate all of the skin off the chicken. I was f'kin pissed."

"Then, on New Years, a few years later, her aunt wanted to make mole and split the cost. I was like whatever and pitched in. I had things to do and got home after it was done. Those f'kin b*tcheses had ate the all of the skin off every piece of chicken."

"I'm so glad I'm not a part of that POS family anymore. If I am ever victimized by chicken skin theft ever again I am going to throw that skinless piece of chicken at them as hard as I can at point blank range and I'm going to aim for their mouth."

– anon

Condiment For All

"Squeezing ketchup on top of a communal plate of fries."

– OverlappingChatter

"I had a boyfriend who would take all of his fries and all of my fries at McDonald’s, put them on the tray and squirt ketchup on top. This infuriated me in part because then the fries got cold so much faster."

– loritree

Wasting food is a cardinal sin.

Grocery Stores At The End Of The Day

"Grocery stores/suppliers throwing out perfectly good food when we there are people starving."

"There is a 2009 doc called 'Dive' that talks about how much grocery stores waste. Edit: (I'm sure there are many others but this is the one that made me aware of the issue)"

– moosegoose2222

"My husband did the samples at Sam's club for awhile and when they did alcohol samples they were told to bust/break the glass bottles into the food that was leftover and to be disposed in the dumpster...so first throw the food in, then break the glass bottles on top when throwing in dumpster."

– Swivel_D

Kevin Sucks

"I worked at a major big box grocery/everything else store for a short time. The a**hole store director was the kind of guy who would make one of the grocery guys get put the floor zamboni on SATURDAY AFTERNOONS to clean up footprints down the aisles when it snowed outside. Of course, it pissed people off."

"The worst thing he'd do, however, was demand that the bakery and Deli have their cases overstocked to 'Grand Opening' standards every f'king day. Of course, only half sold, and the leftovers were not marked down (he hated doing anything like that for damaged boxes or cans because he said it attracted 'poor people'). Instead, it all went into the dumpster at the end of the night. It was usually a half dozen cakes, a dozen loaves of bread, and often 15 - 20 rotisserie chickens. No, employees were not allowed to take home any of it. Oh, and he was openly racist and tried to get a disabled employee fired because he didn't like disabled people working with the public."

"I rage quit that job one day, two weeks before Christmas. I found out shortly after I left that the store director was diagnosed with Parkinsons."

"Rot in hell, Kevin."

– WhitePineBurning

My gripe is more about dining protocol than actual food.

I'm pretty much allergic to alcohol and aside from having the occasional glass of wine, I don't drink often when I go out.

I don't think it's fair when I'm out with a small group of people who each order more than two cocktails and I'm forced to split the bill evenly as the lone non-drinker in the group.

I get it, it's a hassle figuring out the bill to accommodate for me, but I don't mind sorting it out as there are apps to make this easy.

I think it's classy when other members of the group point out that they should chip in more for the bill so I don't have to pay my full share.

But I also hate having to speak up and say, "Umm, can you guys pay for your own drinks since I didn't order any?"

I'm screwed either way since I sound like a loser when I do voice my request or I get passive aggressive afterward for not speaking up.

Anyone know a good solution on how to deal with this?

Anyone who grew up with one or more siblings is bound to have stories of how their siblings occasionally (or frequently) got on their nerves.

Indeed, some people don't even have any sort of relationship with their siblings once they fly the nest.

Those who grew up only children, however, often have trouble accepting that people would cut their siblings out of their lives.

While being an only child can often mean getting your parent's complete love and attention, it also means that you will have to go through many of life's challenges alone, with no peer to turn to for support.

Not to mention, never having anyone to torment and boss around, as many children dream of doing to their younger siblings.

Redditor BroccoliniCarrot was curious to hear what only children thought was the biggest disadvantage of growing up with no siblings, leading them to ask:

"What’s the worst about being an only child?"

Lack Of Playmates

"When I was little, people would give me board games like Monopoly for gifts, and I wouldn't have anyone to play with."

"even Hungry Hungry Hippo sucked playing solo."

"I did master Solitaire though!"- Jesikabelcher

Last One Standing

"When my parents die that’s it."

"I’m just alone."- undertheraindrops

"Family is the most likely group of people to help you when things get tough."

"When your parents pass you have less support."

"Also, aging parents become solely your responsibility."- rubixd

"Taking care of an elderly parent with no one to help."- 3Gilligans

No One To Turn To

"When you are the only one to support your aging parents."- Fantastic_Leg_3534

Forced Independence

"I think because I am an only child I have become used to spending time on my own."

"As a result I am quite antisocial.'

"I don’t mind being around people and can be quite talkative however it exhausts me and I need far too much time on my own to recover."- OstneyPiz

"You become TOO comfortable with being alone all the time, to the point where being alone is the default and interacting with others feels like a chore."

"And that doesn't play out too well in the real world."- DeathSpiral321·

Going Through It Alone

"No one to have a sanity check with."

"My wife and closest friend have siblings and they talk about a close bond with their respective siblings where they could look at the other and effectively say 'mom/dad are crazy, right?'"

"Being an only, I thought some of the sh*t they pulled growing up was normal."

"Having a sibling would have helped counter the gas lighting from parents."- RennSport5280

Making Your Own Conversation Partners...

"As an adult, I sometimes find it difficult to quiet the self-talk because all too often growing up it was all I had."-GreenDolphin86

More For Me?

"I am absolutely not good at sharing."

"Plus and minus was that I got all of my parents' attention, so I had a lot of love and support but also a lot of expectations and not a lot of space to f*ck up."

"Nowhere to hide, no one to blame anything on, and no backup when they were being unreasonable."

"But I also didn't have to split time, affections, or personal belongings with some other gremlin sharing my DNA."=Justheretolurkyall

No One To Keep You In Line...

"No reality check."

"Nobody to confirm that, no, it's not you that's acting nuts."

"Later, nobody to bounce ideas and behaviors off of, nobody to tell you, 'hey, X thinks you're cute' or 'that's not how you ask a girl out, doofus, say this'."

"I should mention that for various reasons, if I had had siblings they would have been older."

"So when I imagine not being an only child, I tend to imagine being a younger brother."

"But I think the reality-check thing would still operate even as an oldest sibling; plus I might have learned to handle responsibility earlier."- ElderPoet

There Is, Indeed, Safety In Numbers

"I am the only son of a single mother."

"I hate this term, but it's called emotional incest."

"Basically my Mom was very young when she had me and there were no men in her / my life."

"As a result, she placed all of that emotional needs of a grown woman on to me."

"My Mom never really raised me as a son."

"At best, she raised me like a little brother she got stuck with after our parents died."

"At worst, she treated me like I was a toxic boyfriend."- ANerdCalledMike

No Scapegoats

"All eyes are on you- can’t get away with anything!"

"Most strict parents ever ( they were older too)."

"Unlike my husband's family growing up with 6 kids."

"Parents hardly knew where the teenagers were or who they were with."- Available_Honey_2951

"When asked by a parent what happened you cannot blame your sibling."- nanodecay

The Eye Of TheBeholder

"People assuming that I was spoiled."- Purlz1st

Having no siblings means never being bullied, teased or tormented, or having to vie for your parent's attention.

Something many people who grew up with older or younger siblings openly say they dream of.

When the going gets tough, however, and these same people realize they always had their brothers or sisters to turn to, they might bite their words and regret ever even thinking of being an only child.


People Who Had A Threesome With Their Significant Other Break Down The Aftermath
Photo by Simon Hurry

Many couples like to spice things up in their relationships to keep things fresh.

When it comes to bedroom spices, couples tend to add ingredients, like another person to the mix.

But everyone really needs to be on the same page with who they're mixing with.

Or drama can ensue.

Keep reading...Show less
champagne in two flutes

Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash

Have you ever gone back to your elementary school as an adult and been amazed that everything looked smaller than you remembered?

It's a great example of how our perception of the world around us is shaped by our own experiences and where we are in life.

As a child everything seems big because we're small.

Our childhood perceptions of other things were also skewed. Things that seemed grand luxuries became ordinary or mundane as we aged.

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