*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
People like what they like.
That point can't be argued. If there's something about a person that just sets your heart on fire, don't ignore it. Chase that feeling because clearly whatever that person is putting out is something important.
That being said, some of these traits, either obvious or delayed, should be considered as "red flags," warning signs, for any future or present relationships you find yourself in.
"What are some red flags that made you leave the relationship?"
Keep secrets is a never a good thing. Unless you're planning a surprise trip to Venice or something for your partner, you should be honest and open with the person you've decided to be intimate with.
Not like these folks.
I'm Not The Problem. You're The Problem.
"She was always checking my phone if I left it laying around. I’d wake up from a nap and she would be looking through my phone. I gave her the passcode because I had nothing to hide. When I finally had enough I asked her to show me her phone and she refused and guarded it like Fort Knox"
I Feel So Bad About Spending All Your Money
"When we were just starting out we ran into some unexpected financial difficulties. We had to borrow money from my parents to make rent one month. I was vocal about how much I hated doing it, and how badly I wanted to pay them back as soon as possible."
"He took some of the money, bought an expensive bottle of high-quality alcohol and hid it from me."
"He was not working at the time."
Perhaps it's not a secret. Perhaps the flag that finally makes you drop the relationships has been there for a long time, except you've only chosen now to do something about it.
Ha! Showed You!
"When instead of apologizing after being caught lying he met another girl on the internet to “show me” how easy it was to get another woman to talk to him if I wouldn’t. But he still expected to work things out..."
Unable To Keep A Smile On In Public
"He ruined every big event. He had an attitude that didn't let you enjoy anything. He would act happy and excited leading up to said event, then just ruin it."
"I just left a relationship for this same reason. No matter what the situation, he always had to focus on the negatives and acted like the whole world was against him all the time. I have severe depression and eventually, after a particularly bad relapse where I was suicidal again, I got therapy. I worked so hard to change my outlook on things, to practice self care, to recognise when my symptoms were getting bad and manage them, and to have someone constantly trying to undo that was just too much."
Becoming The New Dr. Doolittle
"They couldn't stop adopting new pets. Like 1 - 2 new animals a week. We lived in a 2 room flat."
And then there's these, red flags that under no circumstance could be perceived any way except, "Get out of this relationship."
Which is exactly what these people did.
A Unique Kind Of Honesty
"A friend of mine sat me down one day and told me she'd been smoking pot with him (he was a dealer at the time) and telling him how bad she wanted him, basically begging him for sex. He turned her down every time but admitted he wanted to be with her and didn't think I deserved to be cheated on. He made it clear he was interested, but also that he wouldn't come between us, so it was my decision how things went."
"She denied it but I dumped her shortly afterward and she started dating him maybe a week later. He was kind of an a-- most of the time but I've always appreciated him giving me the heads up instead of just letting her cheat and me be none the wiser."
Don't Allow Yourself To Be Pushed Around
"I just broke up with my boyfriend. He isn’t a bad person, he just has a lot of issues but the red flags were that he’d enter temper tantrums if I didn’t say or do what he wanted, talk behind my back while knowing I don’t like that and he kept saying how he needed me and he’d kill himself if I left. I stayed with him despite them but when we finally broke up, I said that I didn’t want to get back with him a week later and he told me that my emotions don’t matter because his emotions never came first."
"It’s like sure, I’ll let you yell at me because you’re just mad. Maybe next time, I won’t spend hours talking to someone through a breakdown if they’re gonna tell me that I didn’t support them emotionally."
"That I should wear covered clothes so men wouldn’t look at me. It was a very hot summer and I already would wear long skirts to my ankles and tops without cleavage."
"One time we were eating at a cafe and some drunk dude who was sitting behind me, started to talk to me, I didn’t even turn to him or acknowledge him, just kept eating. My ex started to fight with him, and then took me by my arm to leave. On our walk back home he was screaming at me how this was all my fault. After 3 years that was my breaking point and I left."
Be Self-Aware And Try To Break Free
"I never knew I was being gaslighted til she broke up with me, and I was happy she did. Fellas, if youre being gaslighted, its really hard to tell reality from fantasy if youre the one in it. Lived a happier life ever since"
We Both Have Stuff Going On, But Only I'm Working On It
"Confusion. Or you can say, Lack of Confidence. Whenever I get into a relationship or say start at the initial stage, if I see that they don't trust or are not confident about the relationship and all the efforts are from my side, it simply means that it's just a waste of time. Relationships are because of efforts from both the parties. So, if one party is not confident, have confusion, or is seriously not giving effort, that simply means I must be out of that relationship ASAP. And this is applicable to everyone Imo."
Undercutting Your Progress
"Constantly accused me of cheating or that I was going to leave her because I was getting serious about my weight loss and health."
"I hope anyone who has gone through this or is going through this gets the strength to do what’s best for them and to love their lives free of the abuse/negativity of others."
Attempted Murder? Yeah, Get Out Of There.
"When I was a few days post brain surgery and wouldn’t mow the lawn, she tried to punch my head in at the surgical site. Would have killed me. called my dad and was gone within about an hour."
"(for those who don’t know, your activities are majorly limited after brain surgery so you don’t get a brain fluid leak.)"
Yep. Red Flag. The Biggest Of Red Flags.
"He said to me after having had periods of suicidal thoughts in the past..."
"I decided last night I couldn't kill myself unless I killed you first, so you wouldn't have to live with the guilt."
"That felt like a red flag."
"...To those that asked, yes I left him but as you can imagine it was complicated and took me a while to untangle the bullsh-t. I am now happily married to the guy that helped me get away and basically saved my life."
"I also want to thank those that have shared their own stories of mental health struggles both with a partner and themselves. I have very little advise of any use but I love all the support in the comments."
"For anyone in a similar situation... Trust your gut. No relationship is worth your life. It is better to act and be wrong, then not act, think everything is okay, and be wrong. If anything on this post rang true for you right now, start taking steps to protect yourself today, and reach out if you need help. There are plenty of hands here to help pull you up."
Keep your eyes sharp, everyone. Flags are everywhere. You just need to decide if they're red or slightly off color.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.