People Share The Biggest Reasons They Don't Sleep Naked
Sleeping naked on sumptuous high thread-count sheets is one of those things that's billed as an ultimate moment of sensual bliss - but for some people it's the ultimate NOPE.
This article is for you never-nude sleepers - and the people who just don't get you.
Reddit user kellogg888 asked:
"People who don't sleep naked, why?"
We'll start with the obvious and maybe most relatable reason for people living with family - NOBDOY KNOWS HOW TO KNOCK!
Family Frustrationsknock the big bang theory GIFGiphy
"Because family members don't know how to f*cking knock that's why."
"Honestly mine don't either. I just let them learn their lesson."
"Don't knock? You see something that'll scare you for life. Your fault not mine. I have no shame."
"Family is it."
"I used to sleep naked and free and then got on the dating scene again. Dated a woman with kids and - you never know who's gonna have a bad dream and come cuddle - or what midnight emergency may come along."
"Now, even though I am no longer with a woman with kids - I stay prepared for midnight emergencies. Now that I can afford comfy PJ's it's really kind of nice."
"Also I'm not flat-bellied and twenty anymore."
A Sweaty Situation
"If I have skin touching skin, it sweats a lot."
"I don't like to spread my arms and legs. I like to curl up in a ball on my side."
"My arms touch my sides. My stomach touches my upper thighs. My thighs touch each other. I don't want all of that to become a big hot sweaty mess."
"This right here, I've tried sleeping naked before and every time it's been super uncomfortable cuz of this."
"Can confirm. There’s definitely a strong correlation between how naked I sleep and how sweaty I get."
"General discharge too"
"Yeah stuff comes out of me sometimes and I can’t have it roaming free in my bed"
"Trans man. Also blood lol"
"Also woman, my #1 reason is a likely irrational but nevertheless EXTREMELY strong fear of spiders crawling in somewhere they don't belong."
"I am always cold!"
"Some nights I even layer 2 pairs of socks. Meanwhile my Fiancé is sleeping in the same room just his undies."
"My wife had a hysterectomy which forced her into menopause, so her temperature regulation is f'ed up to say the least. Hot flashes are a way of life."
"I had to put a window AC unit in put bedroom so she wouldn't die."
"Me? I have all the covers, a fleece blanket, flannel lounge pants and a shirt during the summer so I can sleep. If I don't have all that I will freeze to death."
"My fiancee sleeps naked, I don't mind. But I also don't understand it..."
"Like HOW are you not freezing??"
"I have very comfy, very warm sleepwear. Heck, sometimes if it's really cold, I'll wear a whole sweater to bed. Or steal her blanket."
"So I have lazy-sleep clothes, a sweater AND two blankets to sleep with and she's there just naked and comfy."
"What if a there’s an earthquake in the middle of night and I have to run?"
"My uncle used to sleep naked. Until his trailer caught fire in the middle of the night and he had to run butt naked to some old woman's house and convince her to open the door or call 911."
"Didn't help that he's a gun guy, so all his ammo was firing in the background."
"I was a kid when this happened. The whole idea just makes me nervous."
"One night my wife and I were having sexy time that ended with us going to sleep naked. The next morning we were woken up early by a 5.7 magnitude earthquake."
"There we are, both naked, trying to get to our two kids, not get hurt by things falling down/broken glass."
"My wife vowed to never sleep naked again as she now has a fear of earthquakes and I now have a hate of earthquakes since they took naked cuddles away from me."
"We had a house fire a few weeks ago. I was so thankful that I was wearing leggings that night and my husband was wearing sweatpants."
"That gave us at least a days worth of clothes before we could hit Target for another outfit."
PaintbrushingTrue Story Art GIFGiphy
"Because the tip of my penis touching the bedding drives me insane."
"Agreed. I told my girlfriend it feels like my penis is 'paint brushing' the bed."
"Or when I shift positions and my meat and veg all rearrange into a new lineup on my other leg. The feeling is just distracting. I'd rather have them in a nice soft support hammock."
"It's like when you wear those horrible PE shirts back in school and had to run around a lot. The nipple burn... but on my penis."
"It makes me feel too vulnerable. Even though I’m totally safe, I just feel too exposed."
"Ah so much scrolling to find this."
"My mind gets restless with made up scenarios until I’m like 'ok, I’ll put some soft pajamas on' and then I fall asleep instantly."
"It’s the same for me."
"I wish I could feel comfortable enough to do it, but I just don’t feel right trying to sleep naked. The few times I tried, I always woke up in the middle of the night shivering and feeling anxious."
"Yes! Thank you for understanding! I don't feel safe if I'm exposed and as a result can't sleep. I know I'm in my own house and totally safe, it's just this weird vulnerability thing."
A Renaissance Fest Battle Axe
"I slept naked for a long time and I was always waking up hot or cold. Pajamas fixed the issue."
"There was also that time a drunk neighbor broke in and took the blankets off me and tried to kiss me."
"We were friends with the neighbor and would hang out on the back patio smoking. We’d walk to the wing place and eat. He would always go to his place to use the bathroom."
"One night he used ours and took the opportunity to unlock the front door that nobody used. He asked to borrow my roommates phone and she agreed and just told him to leave it on the porch when he was done."
"At about 5am I woke up with no covers on and he was whispering in my ear to kiss him just once."
"I grabbed the renaissance fest battle axe by my bed and swung and he ran. I went out of my room and my roommate heard the noise and she came out to find me naked with an axe."
"Then she found her phone in her room - he had been in there."
"We didn’t see him for a week and when he showed up he was arrested for something drug related. He left his dog on our porch. Eventually we found his mom and gave her the dog."
"I don't sleep naked."
"I don't want my dog to be nosing around."
"Used to sleep naked until my cat chomped on a ball."
"Very rude awakening. No damage but now boxer briefs keep the dangly bits from dangling in my sleep."
"I too sleep with a dog in the bed. He licks my fingers to wake me up."
"Too many variables. You get the point."
"Similar. My puppy likes to sleep under the blanket and also thinks my junk is a chew toy."
"Well, he thinks everything is, but my junk is the most concerning."
Never-nudes of the sleep world, why DON'T you sleep in the buff?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Weigh In On The Pros And Cons Of Sleeping Naked ... ›
- People Who Sleep Naked Divulge Their Most Embarrassing In The ... ›
- People Who Sleep Naked Share Their Emergency Exit Plan ... ›
- People Who Sleep Naked Divulge Their Most Embarrassing In The ... ›
- People Debate Their Opinions On Sleeping In The Buff - George Takei ›
It's interesting what people are initially attracted to about a person.
Some are drawn instantly by one's appearance based on a person's general attractiveness or how they dress and groom themselves.
Others seem to be turned on by one's attitude–like how a person presents themselves in public and how much confidence they exude without an air of pretentiousness.
If and when the object of one's affection is romantically obtained, the way in which the next step in the relationship progresses could be a sexy success or a total deal-breaker.
Curious to hear strangers recalling a deciding moment, Redditor JokeRadiant3881 asked:
"How did you feel the first time you saw your partner naked?"
These were triumphant reactions.
For Lack Of A Better Word"I literally said 'woah' out loud."– ALIEN_Human_HYBRID
Romantic Thrill Ride
"Like a kid at Disney world. Hadn’t been on any rides yet but was excited to be there nonetheless."
"don't remember, no blood flow to my brain at that point."
Complete Looney Tunes
"Remember that cartoon dog where his jaw hits the floor, tongue rolls out, and his eyes bulge out to the sound of an old timey car horn? Basically that."
Confidence levels were challenged but these Redditors were pleased with the results.
We Are Not Equals
"Felt sorry for what I had to offer in return."
"Same! I’ve had four kids and had a lot of extra skin and sag. Man did NOT care. He seemed just as stunned as I was."
Embracing It All
"I felt the same way for a bit, with my hubby after baby. But every time I'm naked, even though I don't like where my body is at, he looks like he hit JACKPOT. So I feel better, knowing he thinks I'm hot, sexy, beautiful, even more so then before because I'm the mother of our child."
Physical endowments were admired.
Life In Real-D
"She had deceptively big boobs."
Object Appeared Larger Than Expected
"I felt like WOWZA im one lucky girl."
"Well, I’m 54 and got out of a marriage where my ex never felt comfortable being naked around me. My new fiancé has no problem getting naked and gives me a little show each morning she gets dressed. And she’s got an amazing body at 55!"
I'm very self-conscious when it comes to my body, but nothing says sexy like seeing the physical response from another man giving me a huge thumbs up, so to speak, after seeing me in my birthday suit.
Verbal affirmation isn't all that it's hyped up to be.
But body language? Now that is everything.
In every relationship, there are bound to be some tough conversations, like how to budget and deciding whether to move somewhere new.
But there are other conversations, like getting a paternity test or going through someone's phone, that potentially imply a lack of trust.
Redditor BlueSharker asked:
"Women, would you care if your husband wanted to do a quick, basic, cheap DNA test to make sure the kids are 100% his? And why?"
"I love the wording of a 'quick basic cheap' test, like hey, it's no big deal, this is a totally normal quick little thing healthy strong couples do!"
"Like, Baby, it's no big deal. I just want to test the kids' DNA to make sure I can trust you."
"I just asked my wife this, and she said, 'I will rip your nads off and feed them to you if you want that d**n test.'"
"So yeah, they care."
Holy Insinuation, Batman
"Asking for this test either means:"
"1. You think I cheated on you but don't want to actually accuse me directly of it and deal with the fallout of being wrong which is both cowardly and insulting and also didn't work."
"2. You have been spending time on unsavory red pill internet sites and are dumber and more gullible than I thought when I married you and I've now lost all respect for your critical thinking skills."
"3. You don't want to be married or be a father to our kids anymore and are looking or an excuse to leave. Perhaps you are yourself cheating, or you are hiding some other secret or opinion from me and have been for a while."
"None of these scenarios are good. I would 100% be rethinking the whole marriage at this point. What else are you going to blindside me with and when? Probably better to just leave on my own terms than wake up one day and find you gone and all the accounts drained."
Lack of Trust
"I wouldn't be opposed to the actual request because I have nothing to hide."
"But the fact that he felt the need to ask 100% indicates his lack of trust in the marriage and that is the bigger issue that I would be seriously concerned about."
"That would generally be my same response to any hypothetical requests for my husband to look through my phone. Like superficially, I don't care. It's just memes and pics of our kids. But the inevitable longer form conversation that gets triggered by that is why is the trust gone."
Quiet the Haters
"I’ve offered it to my boyfriend for our one and only child to shut up all the naysayers in his family who were telling him it wasn’t his."
"And he said my offering is even more suspicious than not offering."
"Which, I don't know how the f**k that makes any sense, but whatever dude. The kid is yours. Do it or don’t. I don't care."
The Terrible Mother-in-Law
"My ex-husband’s mom was really weird about our firstborn not looking like him."
"He and I are very different in looks, where he’s black hair, and tan skin, and I’m strawberry blonde, and very fair."
"The son was born with brown hair and blue eyes."
"He tans a bit but definitely doesn’t look like his dad... because he looks like a darker-haired version of MY dad."
"The crazy s**t was, my ex was cheating on ME for most of the marriage and both kids are absolutely his because I don’t play stupid games."
Child Support Conspiracy
"My father tried telling everyone I wasn't his kid (I was conceived maybe a week or two before he got caught cheating on my mum)."
"My nan took one look at me and laughed in his face. She eventually convinced him to acknowledge me and pay his child support. I love my nan."
Going No Contact
"When my parents’ divorce started getting nasty, my father accused my mother of cheating, and that I was the result of it."
"He asked me over and over again to get a test and sure enough, I’m his biological son. He didn’t believe the result and kept asking me to do more tests."
"Among other reasons, I don’t speak to him anymore."
Taking the Estate
"I got my revenge on my dad's family who never believed I was his (my parents were together for 30 years but never married)."
"He passed away without signing his will. At his funeral, his sisters poked at my nose and pulled on my ears, questioning whether I was really their niece."
"So I got a posthumous paternity test done. The entire estate went to me and I didn’t give them a dime."
"I would not care. My husband found out late in life that he has a different biological father due to DNA testing and it crushed him. I would understand that the test has more to do with that circumstance than his trust in me."
"That being said, even after going through everything with his dad, he never tested our kids, but I told him multiple times to go for it and I’d be totally fine!"
"One of my best friend's dads bought her and her two sisters Ancestry.com tests only for her older sister to get a 'Congrats! You have a half-sister!' email after my friend’s results were submitted."
"Obviously, she called her dad like 'What the f**k is this,' and he had them retest the results twice."
"He had to be the one to break the news to my friend. He absolutely had no clue before this happened, and he broke down crying and told her that she was still his daughter regardless."
"We were 24 at the time, and I genuinely can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to be either of them receiving that news."
"Her mom even tried to deny it at first before finally coming clean."
Grocery Store Antics
"'Here's a picture of my kid' … 'and here is the DNA test proving it!'
"'Can I leave now, officer? He just likes to scream kidnap for fun…'"
"Sigh. I love taking them to the grocery store with me."
Dad Jokes Galore
"I recently discovered that none of our three children are mine biologically."
"I feel so stupid, I should have known something was up when they all existed before I met my wife."
"All kidding aside, as a stepdad, I do find it genuinely tragic when dudes completely abandon kids and withdraw all love because it's not theirs, not their problem. I understand complex emotions surrounding the marital betrayal, but I can't imagine just peacing out on a kid whose fault it categorically isn't."
What's the Point?
"Our kid looks so similar to my husband that her face unlocks his phone."
"Sure, do the test."
Not the Mother
"As a child, I overheard my Mom say to my Dad, referring to me: 'She is nothing like me. Are you sure you didn't cheat on me?'"
"I really never had much in common with my Mom, and at that age, I didn't know anything about how babies are made, so I thought she was serious and lived with that doubt for a few years."
While some people were able to make jokes or could otherwise point out why paternity testing had been helpful in their own lives, most were concerned about the lack of trust asking for a test implied.
Even in our progressive society, there are still far too many people with antiquated, mostly ludicrous, opinions of what it is to be a woman.
These are primarily from men in powerful positions.
However, some women also tend to look down on those who believe they are giving their gender a bad name.
This ignorant behavior is most commonly known as "toxic femininity".
"What are examples of toxic femininity?"
Caring About Your Image More Than Other People
"Girls who only support other girls when it’s convenient for their image."- flowerchild_3
Worry About Your Own Children, Not Other Moms
"Moms bullying other moms."- LollipopDreamscape
Men Are Parents Too...
"Dad of a 5 year old girl here."
"When my daughter was a couple of months old my wife discovered a nearby play group and was planning on taking her there for a session."
"I decided to take her myself as it landed on one of my days off and I wanted to spend some real time with my little girl and my wife deserved a break."
"The play group is taking place in a large community hall and there's quite a few people there with kids ranging from newborns to around 4 or 5."
"However I quickly noticed that out of about 30ish parents I'm the only man there and everyone stares at me."
"I think nothing of it and proceed to the soft play section for the babies to play with my daughter."
"Not 10 minutes pass however and I notice mums and even nans pretending not to stare at me and talk under their breath."
"At first I thought I was being paranoid because I was nervous being the only dude there but then I noticed it was several groups doing it.'
'I then overheard one of the mums in the baby section with us say to her friend/sister/who cares that I must be dodgy or on the offenders register."
"All because I happened to be the only dad there.'
"I picked my daughter up, told the women where she could stuff her opinions and promptly left."
'I told my wife what had happened and then she went back by herself and had a somewhat heated exchange with the organisers."
"Sometimes I think I married a dragon because she returned with a face so red with rage you'd think she just breathed fire."
"Play group mums can be sexist as hell."- LostMercenary99
Never Pass Judgement Without Knowing The Details
"Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed."- Sufficient-Voice-210
"My wife could not produce enough milk for our children."
"When our first was born she tried and tried."
"I woke up in the middle of the night to her crying."
"She felt like she was a horrible mom to even bring up formula."
"There is so much pressure on moms, and it is incredibly stupid."
"Our kids are very well adjusted and were on formula the entire time.'
"I tell anyone who is expecting their first that the only 'right' way is the 'right way for that child'.”
"Damn everyone else’s opinions; do what is best for your family; not the mommy bloggers."
"My oldest is 10 years old and my wife is at peace with it; she worked through her guilt, which I totally agree she should not have any guilt: she is an excellent mother."
"The statistics on breastfed vs. bottle fed have other correlations which I don’t want to take the time to defend, anyone can read the studies, but adding other factors like home life and atomic households, the delta between the two are not as big as the breastfeeding fanatics point out."
"Lastly, anecdotally and take this as a a claim from a dad.'
"My kids are healthy and hyper-intelligent."
"My oldest has been consistently tested through school as top 2% composite intelligence, and she is thriving in advanced classes."
"I say this because there are people who say that IQ is impacted by breastfeeding."
"It just isn’t true, my children thrive, they are healthy and they know they are loved."- Lokitusaborg
If You Can't Take The Heat...
"Being verbally abusive and then playing victim the second the other person argues back or raises their voice."- No-Bumblebee4615
A "Real Woman" Would Probably Never Say This...
"Pulling the 'if you're a real man' card whenever they need something."- Reddit
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love."- DontShowMomMemes
No Man Is Worth The Trouble
"Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc."- KekeSmall
Happily Ever After Has Many Different Meanings
"That single women should be sad."- hallelujasuzanne
Being Self-Serving Ultimately Serves No One
"Women that only want traditional values when it benefits them."- SnooCakes653
Just because someone, no matter their gender, lives their life differently than you do doesn't mean they are deserving of your judgment.
Especially if they are happy with the life they are living, and aren't bringing harm to anyone else.
Anyone believing others aren't fitting their expectations of what it is to be a "real woman" or a "real man" might want to stop and re-examine their standards.
No matter how old we get, we still find ourselves keeping up with the latest trends.
Binging the show everyone's talking about, downloading the newest app, and partaking in the latest social media craze, all in an effort to appear cool to our friends and colleagues.
Of course, not all of these trends are "cool" to us.
In fact, sometimes we grudgingly partake in these trends, no matter how idiotic they seem to us.
While others have no concerns about being cool, and won't even think about joining in with everyone else, choosing instead to gleefully look down on them.
"What's something extremely popular but you just can't give a f*ck about it?"
What Exactly Are They Trying To Influence?
"They have a different vibe than I have/aspire to have, different ways of expressing themselves, different values, different beauty standards, etc."- smieklinsh
'My personal opinion."
"If you like them, cool."
'No harm done."- queen_tabby
"Isn't aren’t part of my life, so why should I take time from my life to think about the crap they’re doing?"- attention21Elon Musk Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Isn't It Good News Either Way?
"Gender reveal parties."- Back2Bach
Just Another Distraction
"TikTok never got into it."- thneakythnake660
How Many Strangers Are Looking At Your Pictures?
"Followers on social media."- Single_Goat3138Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
"Figure" Heads being the operative word
"The Royal Family."- Natasha_JB
Comfort Over Quality
"Like, I’ll indulge and buy a pair I think are really cool."
"But other than that, why tf would you spend $2000+ on a pair of shoes that actually cost less than $10."- eggtada
All Of Them!
"The Kardashians."- BeeImpressive7749Kim Kardashian GIF by E!Giphy
Fame Is Seldom The Same As Qualified
"I’d say entertainers who are so wealthy and think they are the voices of normal people."-mayoinstrumentalz
Or Anything Else About Him?
"Ye's Opinion."- SlimePrice
Just How Real Was It?
"Reality TV."- brycebrycehayeshayesPhaedra Parks Reality Tv GIF by Real housewives of AtlantaGiphy
Can It Even Be Considered A Chat?
"Since when was a fire emoji and a number a symbol of popularity and friendship?"
"I just don't have the time for this sh*t."- Yes-I-Have-Arrived
Quality Over Quantity
The best thing about opinions and personal taste is that they are unique to every individual.
No two people have to like the same thing, nor should we judge those who dislike something we like and vice-versa.
Even if it's hard to say it's unreasonable that not even two people should give Elon Musk or Ye any time of day.
Though again, that's just an opinion...