The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
GIF by VIASWEATGiphy"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
rachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
Happy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
Black Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.
As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.
After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?
When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.
Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.
However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.
Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:
"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"
You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?
"'Anastasia'."
"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"
"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft
"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...
"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117
First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...
"Gladiator."- chewie8291
"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."
"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808
Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphyThose Costumes Though!
"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers
"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex
Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...
"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin
"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."
"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog
It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...
"History of the world part I."- whopper68
"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"
"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42
GiphyGood Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...
"Tombstone."
"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme
"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"
"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388
"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20
For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...
"Balto?"- rmr236
"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."
"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10
sad shame GIFGiphyThere Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...
"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus
He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...
"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23
"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness
Stretching It...
"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc
"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life
heath ledger love GIFGiphySome Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...
"'Gangs of New York'."
"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."
"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles
Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...
"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai
"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."
"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill
More Memorable Than The Truth?
"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."
"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."
"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."
"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated
Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.
As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.
If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.
Redditor Jarvis_Strife wanted to hear about the times the price tag left people a little shook, so they asked:
"What turned out to be A LOT more expensive than you anticipated?"
Used cars.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD?!
How does a 20 year old car with 250,000 miles on it cost THOUSANDS of dollars?!
MADNESS!
Open Wide
Dentist GIFGiphy"Root canal with a crown. I understand now why a lot of people just get the tooth pulled."
Bitey_the_opossum
"Dental insurance barely covering anything is crazy to me. It’s extremely important to keep teeth healthy, being that an infection can kill you, so you think it would be covered under preventative care, but nope."
Jamie9712
The Usual
"Car repairs."
BlackLesbianTroll
"My usual shop tried to charge us $700 for a coolant flush, engine air filter, battery, and spark plugs. I did all of it but the spark plugs myself in an hour for about $120. I have started doing my own oil changes and it's about 50% cheaper. It's crazy how much places by me charge for cheap and easy stuff."
gaybatman75-6
"The fact that every service ends up being an extra $100+ is frustrating sometimes too 😮💨."
-Tired_Phoenix-
Flooring
"Rugs. Biggest shock when I got my own place."
spnginger3
"One of those things I can’t believe people pay full price for. Those things are like 85% margin if you buy them from retail. Find a local auction website and search through it to find a rug distribution center that usually does quarterly (or so) liquidations at auction. You can get thousands of dollars in rugs for a couple hundred bucks."
FairState612
Window Dressing
"When I bought my first house about 5 years ago it was a new build, as such it had no blinds or curtains etc. I’m a blinds guy so we got a company Dunelm Mill to make us measure blinds for the whole house. It was a couple thousand pounds but we had allowed for it when buying."
"The blinds ended up being a little delayed, not a crazy amount but a bit of a frustrating amount - maybe 2 months or so. They straight up gave them to us (and still fitted them for us) literally for free, and they had given us a temporary more basic blind for our bedroom in the meantime!"
jw205
Why so much?
Angry Organized Crime GIF by Law & OrderGiphy"Kitchen garbage can. Why are they $50+!?"
redheadscorp
"Man mine was double that! Options are apparently either a five-dollar plastic bin with no lid that is borderline useless or a $100+ Ferrari trash can. I just wanted one with a lid and a foot pedal to open it."
BellicosePost
Seriously garbage bag prices have gotten out of control.
There has to be a better way to sell this product.
Get Another Quote
Doors Doorways GIF by Joe MerrellGiphy"I had someone come out to the house and he quoted me almost $20k to replace four doors. I passed."
stoneman9284
"I'd get another quote. I spent $1,500 to have an exterior door replaced last year. I had quotes come in from $1,500 to $7,500 for the same scope of work."
Milehighcarson
In the dirt
"Landscaping. Even by yourself."
alwaysyardening
"There's that saying 'cheap as dirt' but soil/dirt is expensive AF."
notjanelane
"Getting quotes on having some landscaping done and wow... it is insane. Four quotes ranged from $1500 to $8500 for the same work. To the point where I called the $1500 and told them maybe I forgot to include stuff because their quote was so much lower. LOL!"
Miserable_Emu5191
"Landscaper quoted us $20k to re-rock flower beds that already had [some] rock in them. We were getting more of the same rock to just freshen it up. I laughed them out of my house. We did it ourselves... very. very. slowly. And very painfully. Still spent $12k after everything was done."
thatChickinBFE
Chronic
"Being sick/chronic illnesses/becoming disabled. Everyone thinks that having a chronic illness or becoming disabled is a great excuse to sit at home and watch TV all day. The constant doctor visits, surgeries, prescriptions, medical devices, and therapies add up to thousands a year."
"And the more you make the more you spend, when I could still manage to work I’d pay for or buy any type of treatment or device I could that promised some relief. $100 massages every week? Ok fancy chiropractor at $40 a visit, sure. $100 massager tool, ok. I’ve spent tens of thousands just because I got in a car accident that left me with chronic back pain and surgery that left me disabled."
"And these are just the monetary costs, there are plenty of costs that aren’t money. Want to enjoy a day out, well now you need to be on bed rest for a week. It’s constant and unrelenting, and unless a miracle happens it will be the rest of my life."
PinkPrincess1224
Every Week
"Seriously, groceries, it's insane how high the prices have risen on everything."
Ddowns5454
"The really shi**y thing is it keeps going up basically on a weekly basis. I work for a major national grocery store and I hang the sales tags for the grocery department. We apparently have this AI that will see how much money they can milk out of customers."
"It will set a price higher and I think based on how much we well over a specified amount of time the system will lower the price if the changed price cuts too much into their profits. I've seen crazy price jumps of like $2 or $3 because they are just trying to f**k with the prices until they hit that sweet spot."
jpaugh69
Every Breath
life GIFGiphy"Life. Even just sitting in my apartment doing nothing costs $2000 a month."
Eyfordsucks
"For real. I pay 1600 for half of a beat-up duplex. After everything, it's like I have my Xbox and that's it."
Lovetopuck37
Life. What a scam.
Even breathing feels expensive.