You ever read a story that made you look at your screen kind of through the outer corner of your eye? Like you're so taken aback by the dumpster fire you're reading that you almost don't want to look at it directly? But you can't look away either?
This is about to be that story.
The story revolves around four main players, so let's start there.
"Jenny" - The girlfriend
"Jessi" - The girlfriend's twin sister
"Johnny" - The boyfriend
"Mom" - The boyfriend's mom
Got that? Ok, here we go. Jenny and Johnny have been together for a year and things are going great. Jenny hangs out with Johnny's family, including mom, and has talked about her sister, Jessi, from time to time - always referring to her as "my sister". That's important. Pin that. It'll matter in a second.
One night, mom goes out to the movies with her friends and on the way out she runs into Jessi and her boyfriend. Mom flips out thinking that it's Jenny and goes on to scream at, accuse, slap, and attempt to drag Jessi out of the theater! Yep that's verbal and physical assault for those of you keeping score at home. In the process of trying to defend herself and being assaulted, Jessi called the woman a "crazy b!tch" - cause if it walks like a duck and slaps like a duck, ya know?
Mom them calls Johnny to rat out his "cheating" girlfriend only to find Jenny was WITH JOHNNY and obviously couldn't be the girl she had just assaulted in the theater. Mom tried to blame Jenny for never specifying that her sister was her TWIN sister, and not only refused to apologize to Jessi, but is now demanding that Jessi apologize to her for calling her a crazy b!tch.
"Jenny" turned to Reddit for help. Here is her full post:
I have an identical twin sister Jessi and we look very much alike. There are small differences but only those who know both of us can recognize them.
BF and I have been together for a year. Things are good between us.
Last night this happened: my boyfriend's mom went out with her friends to watch a movie and Jessi was there as well with her boyfriend. After the movie one of her friends saw Jessi with her boyfriend. She asked her if that girl is her son's boyfriend (I met this friend at a party a few weeks ago). So she looked at Jessi and thought yes, she is.
She went to her and asked what the f*** is going on. Jessi was confused since she hadn't met her before, and she kept asking her what the f*** is this. At that point she was holding Jessi's arm and she told her to let her go and called her a crazy bitch. Eventually she told Jessi that she's cheating on her son and called her by my name, and Jessi told her that that's her twin sister. She slapped her across the face and told her to stop lying. Her friends then collected her and took her away.
She then called my boyfriend and told him that she's found her girlfriend with another man. I was with my boyfriend at that time. He quickly got it that she must have seen Jessi so he told her and she hung up. She then left. I talked to Jessi, she didn't even apologize to her. After she found out what she's done, she just left.
So my boyfriend talked to her again and an apology is not coming.
She feels like she did nothing wrong and she was justified in whatever she did since I hadn't told her that I had a twin sister, so she's justified in harassing her like that and slapping her across the face. She said that she expects an apology for being called a crazy bitch.
I'm really pissed at her for what she did and the least she can do is apologize to Jessi. We were planning to visit my boyfriend's parents this weekend but now I'm not sure that I want to go. I can't just sit there and tell her how cute it was that she mistook me with my twin. I sure as hell don't think Jessi should go and apologize to her.
Should I let this go? Am I overreacting to consider this a deal breaker?
People did not hold back with their responses, and it was glorious. Here are some of my favorites, edited for content or clarity when needed.
Petty And Immature
GiphyI fully understand her assumption (who thinks 'maybe she has a twin sister?'), but the slapping was completely out of order, and her refusal to apologise shows a really petty, immature streak in her.
If I lost it and attacked someone, and then I learned it was the wrong person, I would be apologising before they'd even finished saying 'it was my twin'. I'd feel appalled at myself. The fact that she's refusing to says a lot.
I would say that your boyfriend needs to have strong words with her, and if she still refuses to apologize then you cut off contact.
Trashy
GiphyI don't even think she has the right to verbally confront her. It's not her relationship and her son is an adult. She should definitely warn the son about what she saw so that he can decide what to do. She could even snap a covert picture of the girl and her date for proof, but she shouldn't involve herself in the dispute.
If she had been drinking her reaction might be a little more understandable (though still wrong), but she just sounds trashy within that violent reaction. I almost wonder if she didn't secretly already hate the girlfriend and jumped like a rabid animal at the chance to act out towards her.
Certainly trashy for not apologizing.
Don't Just Let This Go
GiphySomething similar happened to me and my twin, except she was in a different country on vacation when she ran into my (now) ex boyfriends mom. His mom was shocked and upset at first, but she didn't HIT my sister! That's just straight up crazy and unnecessary, If she had done that I would have cut her out of my life. If I was you I would really consider having someone in my life who's first thought is to resort to violence against you when they perceive you to be doing something wrong, and also someone who can't apologize when they are clearly in the wrong. It's nuts that she expects an apology, if I was your sister I'd be pressing charges JUST because she has the nerve to expect an apology after slapping me.
I don't think you should just let this go- it just reinforces that her behavior has no consequences, which I suspect is what usually happens if her first thought was to slap your sister, then expect an apology.
Deal Breaker
GiphyIt's definitely a deal breaker in regard to meeting his parents, but may not be a deal breaker in regard to your relationship as a whole. Even if his mom does apologize, you'll have to decide whether or not you'll want someone that violent in your life at all. Someone who'll probably be "that woman who hit my sister" in your mind more than "my boyfriend's mom". That said, you aren't dating his mom. Just because she's a violent moron doesn't mean he is also like that.
My point being, I'd say you can go on with the relationship while refusing to see his mom. I doubt he will blame you. And if he does- that is a deal breaker.
All The Red Flags
GiphyRED FLAG Think carefully about whether or not you want to get serious with this guy. Please trust me, you get the whole family when you have a serious relationship. TRUST ME on this. red flag: mom is confrontational. red flag: mom is aggressive in words and actions red flag: refusing to apologize is a control issue.
IF you decide to go to this event and see her (I wouldn't) avoid her. If she mentions it to your bf or you say you are still angry. If she mentions your sister calling her an crazy bitch: "that is unlike her, she must have been reaction to be accosted at the movies" Your sister should definitely not apologize- she did nothing wrong.
If your bf insists you attend and you don't want to, or glosses over this issue. That is, you guessed it: another red flag.
Not Going To Change
GiphyWow. That is an awful story.
The mother isn't going to change. Maybe she's so unbelievably embarrassed by her behaviour that she can't even acknowledge it to herself yet (the preposterous defense that you & Jessi should apologise to her! that is rich!). Maybe she'll come around to it, but I wouldn't hold my breath. You're not obliged to give her the space to do that either. Her actions were wildly outrageous; her 'defense' is ridiculous and offensive; she's only going to dig in.
And then among the 3 of you, there will always be this outlandish damage done by her, for which she takes no responsibility, and which she's gotten away with--in a way reinforcing that she can act with assault, gaslighting and accusation... with no personal consequences. There will be more crazy to come.
I'd stay away from her, no exceptions. If Jessi decides to file charges, I'd expect mom to blow. If Jessi doesn't, I'd expect mom to still be crazy. We're not required to have these people in our lives.... but obviously it will impact your relationship with your BF, likely be a strain as long as you're together. The fact your boyfriend will be 'in the middle' for as long as he tries to appease her is true no matter what you & Jessi do.
Let Jessi decide about filing charges.
Tell the BF there will be no contact or communication on your part. The crazy lady ceases to exist in your life; tell him to talk to someone else if he begins complaining about her (btw did he ever say he thought this was horrific?). See if your relationship can withstand that crack.
Gird your loins for what's to come. She's not done justifying and defending her ludicrous behavior.
A Turning Point
GiphyAbsolutely do not visit his parent's house, lol.
This is a turning point for your relationship. His mom massively f-ed up. She needs to apologize to all three of you (starting with your sister). Face to face.
If bf's mom is unwilling to apologise, bf needs to insist that she does. And you need to insist that he insists. If he refuses, that's the end of your relationship. There is no way you can have a relationship with her unless she apologises, and there is no way you can have a relationship with bf without having contact with his mom.
Bf's mom is lucky she's not being charged with assault. That's what I would have done.
- Vinay92
End The Relationship
GiphyIn all honesty, I would be tempted to just end the relationship. I wouldn't ever want anything to do with that woman again and it wouldn't be fair for him to be stuck in the middle.
So yes, I think you're 110% justified to cut contact, just be prepared for how it will affect your relationship.
In Her Mind...
GiphyIn her mind, she wasn't slapping your sister. She was slapping you. Do you want to be in her vicinity for the rest of her life? GTFO.
Allowed To Abuse You
GiphyIf she can treat your twin sister like that, she can treat you like that. She believes she has the power and authority to treat you like that, lay her hands on you, and physically and verbally abuse you. sure, it didn't happen to you, it was your sister, but in her mind it WAS you.
You are not over reacting. Not in the least bit. Her response wasn't appropriate regardless of who she did it too. If she believes she's justified in her behavior, it means she believes she is allowed to abuse you.
Sister's Perspective
GiphyOkay, so here's what your sister experienced: she's out on a date with her boyfriend, and then some random stranger grabs her and starts screaming in her face, then slaps her in the face. This stranger, who is assaulting her in public, won't believe she is who she says she is--who she actually is.
This is the stuff nightmares are made of. This is the stuff PTSD is made of.
This woman is f^cking unstable, and has proven to be dangerous. You shouldn't be in a room with her, apology or no apology. She assaulted someone based on an unfounded suspicion, and clearly would have no problem assaulting you if she thought you were doing something wrong.
Christ on a titty-balling cracker, and she thinks your sister should apologize for calling her a crazy bitch? What is her line of thinking there? "Oh come on, I was just physically and publicly assaulting someone I thought was my son's girlfriend; anyone would have done the same, she shouldn't have called me names while I was slapping the shit out of her in public."
Yeah, charges should be pressed. And if not that, then at the very least never talk to this woman again.
Grandmother
GiphyYour BF's mom is crazy. Consider this situation if you have children with him. Think about her as your kids grandmother.
Double Standard
GiphyDear Boyfriend
Go to the police, get her charged, get your girl's twin sister to do it. Go to the theater where it happened and tell them you were assaulted, show them where, ask them if there is footage, call the police, file a police report. Your mother is an attacker, she is the living embodiment of double standards, if a man did this, how fast do you think he would be in jail?
What Kind Of Upbringing
GiphyRemember, this is the woman who reared your boyfriend. You have to ask yourself what kind of upbringing he had and how that would affect you and any family you may one day start.
- bilabrin
Just Needed An Excuse
GiphyIt seems like she's thought about hitting you before, just needed some excuse to actually do it. I'm not a violent person, but if a old lady slapped my girlfriend across the face, I would break a couple of her teeth.
- Hpa511
Just As Crazy As His Mom
GiphyIt shouldn't be a deal breaker that your boyfriend's mom slapped your sister, he didn't have any control over that. Don't give her the power to break you two up, it's not about her.
However, it should be a deal breaker if he's not demanding an apology from her. If he actually thinks this isn't a big deal then he's just as crazy as his mom.
Good luck.
Big Red Flag
GiphyUh. It'd be one thing if this was JUST a case of mistaken identity, and maybe she mouthed off to Jessi. But that's not what happened-- she PHYSICALLY ATTACKED someone. And not only that, but even AFTER the mistake was evident, she feels she was completely justified in doing so and she blamed the whole situation on you. As though she is not a fully-grown woman capable of making the correct decision (which is not laying your hands on someone).
Um. Yes. This is absolutely worth cutting contact over.
How does your boyfriend feel about all this? That's a big concern. Hopefully he sees that she was in the wrong and needs to apologize. If he is encouraging you to drop it, or thinks this is no big deal, that's a big red flag and there should be a serious conversation about that. It's hard enough having someone like that as your significant other's parent, but it's MUCH harder to deal with when your significant other takes their side.
Totally Toxic
GiphyTotally toxic human. Must avoid. Even if it damages the relationship with your BF.
This isn't the first or last time she has gone off the rails. Slapping your sister was inexcusable.
So please just cut her off. For your own sanity, there is now way this turns out well if you allow people like this within your circle. I feel bad for you and your BF.
- 400yards
Just Ignore It
GiphyPeople keep saying your sister should press charges, but pressing charges over a slap? Seems like more headaches then needed. If your relationship is going good. Just ignore it and go limited contact with the mom.
The Primary Victim
GiphyI really want to encourage you to get your sister to press charges. She is the primary victim here. You are taking this on as your battle (and you are right to do so), but you have one hand tied behind your back because of your relationship with this bitch's son.
Your sister has no relationship with a complete stranger that came out of nowhere and smacked her in the face. She must sue the sh!t out of that awful woman. F^ck apologies.
H/T: Reddit
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.