Dear spam callers and telemarketers.... hang up and go find something to do with your lives!!! How in the world in this day and age is this still a job or a good idea when trying to sell things or collect debt? This can't be a fulfilling job. But why they are doing this is not the concern of those of us answering. We just have to find out creative ways to avoid or scare these people.
Redditor u/Jezza_K wanted to hear some advice on how to rid ourselves of those phone callers we all want to rid ourselves of by asking.... What the best way to answer to a spam call?Duh?
GiphyPlay along but pretend to be a total idiot. 'Hmm laptop on...do I need to plug it in first??' Icannotgoforthat
Wasted.
The other day I let the telemarketer get about 2 questions into their script and then I interrupted them and said the following, "wait, hold up. Hold up. Hold on. Wait hold up. Holdupholdupholdupholdup. Wait... hold up. Hold on. Hold up. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hold on. Hold up. Okay."
Then she hung up, which I'm actually pretty proud of because most of those telemarketer places have rules that keep them from being allowed to hang up unless you threaten or swear at them. Waste my time and I'll waste yours. SloopyDoops
What's your beef?
"Home of the Whopper. What's your beef?"
"Thank you for calling Good Burger. Home of the Good Burger. Can I take ya awder?"
"Trojan condoms. We'll come before you do. Is this for pick up or delivery?"
"Thank you for calling your local scientology volunteer service. You're hired." CrashMcCloud
I don't trust her.
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada.
I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier. Scaro88
No.... X 10!
GiphyJust answer "no" to whatever they say. My uncle has got spam calls on the phone for over 5 minutes, while just saying "no" to whatever they say. Jaxerfp
FOOL!
"You mortal fool! You dare summon me when I am most powerful?!?!? you must have a death wish and I assure you it will be granted!!!!"
But in the softest voice You can muster. Mental_Plague_Rat
Hey Dayton.
Giphy"Dayton city morgue." Is a favorite of mine, also "Dayton city Insane Asylum, how may I make your day crazier?"
But 90% of my spam calls are robot calls so it hardly works.
Also, I use these when relatives call. It gives them a good laugh. CoffeeCat072083
Shame!
Spam them back. Sell them something ridiculous until the point when they give you their credit card number, but stop and shame them for what they do. Lost_Borealian
Devious...
GiphyI just say in a very robotic voice "Hello, you have reached the customer service line for Johnson's assassinations. For a gunning, press 1, for kidnapping press 2, for a thermonuclear strike on the target's home town press 3. uglyatheist
10/10....
A good friend of mine has my favorite way to do it:
He'd answer, and wait to make sure it was actually a scammer. Then, after about a minute of their pitch, he'd start screaming "OHHHHHHHHH GOD MY BUTHOOOOOOLE. MY DAMN BUTHOOOOOOOOOLE."
10/10 they'd hang up. Fleebledee
Gramps....
My great grandpa was hilarious. He once got a phone call from this man who told him he needed two thousand dollars to open a bank account, and that when it was open he would send him the money. He said he desperately needed the money. So my grandpa takes him on a three hour adventure, during which he fakes himself getting fired, wrecking his car, and eventually getting hit by a car all to mess with a man who tried to scam a sixty year old veteran. It was truly hilarious. the-drunk-potato
Hey Lewis....
Giphy"Homicide"... Michaels speaking. Hold on a second. Lewis.. Lewis! Put a sheet on that body. Ok, what do you want?" Greeblebrox
"What hang up?"
I typically say "I just have this one hangup with (whatever product)."
Typically you'll get a response like "What hang up?"
And that's when I hang up. jonahvsthewhale
It's the small things ya know.
I like pretending I'm old and they damn love it. Cuz they prey on the elderly so it's easy to get them to go along with it. Then just string them along with fake things and every so often yell "Oh no I've pooped my pants!!" It's the small things ya know. medicff
Play Along.
Sometimes I'll just play along, and then when they ask for my credit card info I'll put the phone down for like 10 minutes. If they stay on the line, I'll pick it back up and then give them the wrong credit card number, do it over and over again, and then pretend to get mad at them for making it too difficult. alpengeist19
..............
GiphyActual advice here: take the call but don't say anything, leave them hanging in silence.
After some tries they wont call you back and don't sell your number any further, worked wonders for me! N1kc1
"Bonjour"
Last one I got I simply answered with "Bonjour" and they hung up immediately. SexDeity
I've done a few with the rotating language game. Might need to brush up on a few more languages. Lol it's always risky if it turns out to be a real call. Front_Angle
Sexy Sounds....
I'm a guy. If it's a man on the other line I flirt with them, try to get a date. They hang up.
Well, now, wait a minute.... is that good or bad? Yes, I got them off the phone, but I didn't get the date. llcucf80
Ever took that as measure in your ability to woo a potential mate ?
Did you ask them what they were wearing? cltzzz
Just North of Miami......
I tell them I don't have a credit card, but can mail them cash. That gets them interested so I can waste a lot of their time. I even had a guy give me apparently his home address in West Park, FL (just north of Miami). I contacted the local police there, and they said they were already looking into him. Dry-Report
This only applies for human beings btw.....
If you have time to waste, waste their time: pretend to comply but make up random errors for them to troubleshoot, provide slightly different information every time they ask for it, make them repeat whatever they say as often as possible, tell them to hang on one second and leave them on the line for as long as you wish.
This only applies for human beings btw. If you prove to be difficult enough, they may blacklist you. GonzoRouge
Bot 2 Bot....
GiphyInterestingly most spam calls are just recorded audio. So I fight fire with fire and let my phone's assistant answer. Usually they hang up in a few seconds. I think the robots realize they are talking to each other and hang up. ExpansiveAcorn7
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- People Break Down The Biggest Scams People Still Fall For ... ›
- People Break Down Which Things Scream 'This Is A Scam' - George Takei ›
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
Instant adapability
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapes
GiphyYou know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphyEncouraging others
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulz
Why Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphyAn endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
