Dear spam callers and telemarketers.... hang up and go find something to do with your lives!!! How in the world in this day and age is this still a job or a good idea when trying to sell things or collect debt? This can't be a fulfilling job. But why they are doing this is not the concern of those of us answering. We just have to find out creative ways to avoid or scare these people.

Redditor u/Jezza_K wanted to hear some advice on how to rid ourselves of those phone callers we all want to rid ourselves of by asking.... What the best way to answer to a spam call?



Play along but pretend to be a total idiot. 'Hmm laptop I need to plug it in first??' Icannotgoforthat


The other day I let the telemarketer get about 2 questions into their script and then I interrupted them and said the following, "wait, hold up. Hold up. Hold on. Wait hold up. Holdupholdupholdupholdup. Wait... hold up. Hold on. Hold up. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hold on. Hold up. Okay."

Then she hung up, which I'm actually pretty proud of because most of those telemarketer places have rules that keep them from being allowed to hang up unless you threaten or swear at them. Waste my time and I'll waste yours. SloopyDoops

What's your beef?

"Home of the Whopper. What's your beef?"

"Thank you for calling Good Burger. Home of the Good Burger. Can I take ya awder?"

"Trojan condoms. We'll come before you do. Is this for pick up or delivery?"

"Thank you for calling your local scientology volunteer service. You're hired." CrashMcCloud

I don't trust her.

What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada.

I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier. Scaro88

No.... X 10!


Just answer "no" to whatever they say. My uncle has got spam calls on the phone for over 5 minutes, while just saying "no" to whatever they say. Jaxerfp


"You mortal fool! You dare summon me when I am most powerful?!?!? you must have a death wish and I assure you it will be granted!!!!"

But in the softest voice You can muster. Mental_Plague_Rat

Hey Dayton.


"Dayton city morgue." Is a favorite of mine, also "Dayton city Insane Asylum, how may I make your day crazier?"

But 90% of my spam calls are robot calls so it hardly works.

Also, I use these when relatives call. It gives them a good laugh. CoffeeCat072083


Spam them back. Sell them something ridiculous until the point when they give you their credit card number, but stop and shame them for what they do. Lost_Borealian



I just say in a very robotic voice "Hello, you have reached the customer service line for Johnson's assassinations. For a gunning, press 1, for kidnapping press 2, for a thermonuclear strike on the target's home town press 3. uglyatheist


A good friend of mine has my favorite way to do it:

He'd answer, and wait to make sure it was actually a scammer. Then, after about a minute of their pitch, he'd start screaming "OHHHHHHHHH GOD MY BUTHOOOOOOLE. MY DAMN BUTHOOOOOOOOOLE."

10/10 they'd hang up. Fleebledee


My great grandpa was hilarious. He once got a phone call from this man who told him he needed two thousand dollars to open a bank account, and that when it was open he would send him the money. He said he desperately needed the money. So my grandpa takes him on a three hour adventure, during which he fakes himself getting fired, wrecking his car, and eventually getting hit by a car all to mess with a man who tried to scam a sixty year old veteran. It was truly hilarious. the-drunk-potato

Hey Lewis....


"Homicide"... Michaels speaking. Hold on a second. Lewis.. Lewis! Put a sheet on that body. Ok, what do you want?" Greeblebrox

 "What hang up?"

I typically say "I just have this one hangup with (whatever product)."

Typically you'll get a response like "What hang up?"

And that's when I hang up. jonahvsthewhale

It's the small things ya know.   

I like pretending I'm old and they damn love it. Cuz they prey on the elderly so it's easy to get them to go along with it. Then just string them along with fake things and every so often yell "Oh no I've pooped my pants!!" It's the small things ya know. medicff

Play Along. 

Sometimes I'll just play along, and then when they ask for my credit card info I'll put the phone down for like 10 minutes. If they stay on the line, I'll pick it back up and then give them the wrong credit card number, do it over and over again, and then pretend to get mad at them for making it too difficult. alpengeist19



Actual advice here: take the call but don't say anything, leave them hanging in silence.

After some tries they wont call you back and don't sell your number any further, worked wonders for me! N1kc1


Last one I got I simply answered with "Bonjour" and they hung up immediately. SexDeity

I've done a few with the rotating language game. Might need to brush up on a few more languages. Lol it's always risky if it turns out to be a real call. Front_Angle

Sexy Sounds....

I'm a guy. If it's a man on the other line I flirt with them, try to get a date. They hang up.

Well, now, wait a minute.... is that good or bad? Yes, I got them off the phone, but I didn't get the date. llcucf80

Ever took that as measure in your ability to woo a potential mate ?

Did you ask them what they were wearing? cltzzz

Just North of Miami......

I tell them I don't have a credit card, but can mail them cash. That gets them interested so I can waste a lot of their time. I even had a guy give me apparently his home address in West Park, FL (just north of Miami). I contacted the local police there, and they said they were already looking into him. Dry-Report

This only applies for human beings btw.....

If you have time to waste, waste their time: pretend to comply but make up random errors for them to troubleshoot, provide slightly different information every time they ask for it, make them repeat whatever they say as often as possible, tell them to hang on one second and leave them on the line for as long as you wish.

This only applies for human beings btw. If you prove to be difficult enough, they may blacklist you. GonzoRouge

Bot 2 Bot....


Interestingly most spam calls are just recorded audio. So I fight fire with fire and let my phone's assistant answer. Usually they hang up in a few seconds. I think the robots realize they are talking to each other and hang up. ExpansiveAcorn7


Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Photo by Jens Lindner on Unsplash

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the hottest and dumbest of them all?"

I know that is not verbatim the original quote, but it is close to the original.

Brains and beauty are always intertwined.

So often people confess about wanting to be more of the other.

No one is ever happy where they are. Why are we like that?

If given a chance, like a Disney movie, how do you trade?

Is it superficial to want looks over knowledge? Or vice versa?

Let's get deep....

Redditor BroodyBatman wanted to know who was willing to give up a little bit of brains for a whole lot of beauty, so they asked:

"Would you give up 15-20 IQ points to be really, REALLY ridiculously good looking? Why?"
Keep reading... Show less
Photo by Rowen Smith on Unsplash

The world is not so big a place, is it?

While we like to think of ourselves as isolated in this billion plus planet, there can be a lot more crossover than we think. We call these instances coincidences, hoping to find the right word to explain what happens when a one-in-a-million chance occurs.

If there's over seven billion plus people in the world, turns out you can run into these 'coincidences' more often than you think.

Keep reading... Show less

Let me make a quick point about conspiracy theories: Do people understand just how difficult it is for many of the conspiracies they claim to believe in to come to fruition? We're talking global levels of cooperation here, by the way, and it's clear the world can't even get itself out of a pandemic sooo...

But thankfully, there are some more innocent comnspiracies out there. For example, a former classmate once told me that he was convinced he couldn't remember all the items on his shopping list because of shopping elves distracting him to buy other things he didn't exactly need.

To be fair, he was a little stoned at the time and I told him he might want to consider just writing and referring to a shopping list.

People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor ConcentrateNext1734 asked the online community,

"What’s a conspiracy that you believe, but the majority of people don’t believe or know about?"
Keep reading... Show less

Children are very impressionable. They're also little humans, remember, and all quite different. Some are more afraid of some things than others. When I was a kid, some of my classmates were utterly terrified of Chucky, the killer doll.

I think he worked the best in the first film and to a larger extent in the second, but after that? Those movies got a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you agree?

Well, the memories linger, as you can imagine.

People took us on a trip down memory lane after Redditor teacatpeng asked the online community,

"What’s something you saw (as a kid) that gave you nightmares for a long time?"
Keep reading... Show less