Being in a romantic relationship can be hard work.
You're constantly navigating highs and lows.
There is so much compromise involved it can feel like political warfare.
And one of the main factors that keeps romance alive is the spice up.
You want to try to keep things from getting stale.
So that is when new sexual ideas emerge.
Often this is when secret fantasies come to light.
And a lot of the time... the requests don't go over so well.
Redditor MuchLoveWaffleGirlwanted to hear about how to navigate romantic requests of a partner. So they asked:
"What would you do if your SO asked you to have an open relationship?"
I tried open. Didn't really. Could be because I'm a jealous loon. Maybe.
Uh No.
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"I was asked. I said no. Things carried on as normal for a few months. Then I found out that the reason she asked was because she was cheating on me. Bye *itch."
swingrider
Not for everyone...
"Related to someone that has been married for like 18 years now with an open marriage. Not for everyone, but they seemed to have found some way to balance it that works for them. I don’t have details on how they made it work, because I don’t really want to know, but it seemed to be from the start more or less."
vercertorix
blindsided...
"My ex brought it up once, we were a bit wine drunk so I thought it was just a one off fun chat. A while later she mentions how we’re still very young and she’s not sure what comes next, getting married and then that’s it? But life rolled on and we moved and lived together etc."
"In January she tells me she wants to break up. At the time I was blindsided, but looking back now it’s so clear what she was hinting at. I don’t have a problem, I get it, I wish her well, but I sure wish I hadn’t been strung along for two years before that point."
Newbarbarian13
Dumped
"I actually said yes, and it killed the relationship very quickly. It was not that much of a stretch for us. We would participate in group scenes but we always came as a pair. There were never any issues, and it even brought us closer together. We were able to flirt as a team and explore our sexualities."
"There was never any jealousy. But when she requested we open it up, she also started ignoring our explicit, agreed-upon terms. More than any physical act, that felt like cheating. And when I spoke up about it, I got dumped."
partywalrusXL
Rocks
Living Single Goodbye GIFGiphy"Mine asked me 7 months ago and I stupidly accepted (I’m monogamous still) and it hurts, even on the best days I think about it. I’ve told him how I felt about it, but he said he loves the other person too much to end it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and it hit like a rock."
"Edit: I’ve discussed with my boyfriend again how awful it feels and what you guys have said and I am happy to say that he is going to break up with the other person. He said it’s going to take sometime but as soon as he can he will! Thank you all so very much for your input and helping me get this sorted:))."
Hungry_Bandicoot8355
Trust in this issue is paramount and it feels like it's always the one thing lacking most.
The Other Person
sharon stone GIFGiphy"Say its not for me and if they want to go ahead then we have to end things. I was briefly the other person in an open marriage, after a few months it was difficult to know if the husband or myself was more miserable. Might work for some people but not for me."
rabbit_toe
My Person
"I’d say no, but I would want to sit and have several conversations about why they wanted that and how we can retool our relationship if that’s what’s needed. It could ultimately lead to an ending, but he’s my person - I’m not throwing that away when it could be salvaged."
pamplemouss
Happy with Me
"I would ask them why they suddenly want an open relationship after dating me for so long, and be honest with them. I would tell them that open relationships aren't something I'm comfortable with because I like monogamy. If they can't be happy with me in a monogamous relationship, then it would be over."
sunshinerose32
It broke me.
"Well I agreed, but only out of fear of losing her. It broke me. And I lost her anyway to a guy she met in a swinger club and who basically could be her father. Never again. Also everyone I know who did it learned the hard way shi* like this doesn’t work out in like 99 percent of cases."
NervousGarlic1
Issues
Which One Reaction GIF by AudibleGiphy"If that's what they want and nothing else would make them happy, break up. I don't have the mental health fortitude to deal with the anxiety and insecurity I know I would feel for not being enough."
HotCocoaBomb
Problems
"I had been in this situation two times. First time I was young and had no experience it was my first boyfriend and I had a lot of family problems so I was afraid of being alone. I accepted it and was a mistake. We broke up six months in to the 'Open relationship' deal and I was left feeling really empty. Funny how he got married with one of the girls he met in that period. He now is recently single after a nasty divorce. Domestic abuse, cheating, etc."
"About five years later a boyfriend tried to pull l the same one on me. I just ended things right away and saved myself from the pain. This guy is still single to date, and older than 40. So, I would stay away from any guy who wants an open relationship, especially if it started as monogamy and he wants to change the rules of game."
princess_akuna
issues First
"I've wondered if it would work for my partner and I at some different points, but obviously we'd need to work on fixing any serious issues in the relationship before really considering that. If we were in a healthy place in our relationship, we'd discuss the idea and what sort of boundaries we'd have, sit on it for a while to make sure it's something we wanted, and then proceed as we've decided after a particular amount of time. I've got some poly friends that have done it successfully for years, so I don't think it's impossible if you're going about it in a healthy way."
yerfdog1935
Dealbreaker
"Tell her to take her stuff and go. She can open up her sex life in her own space and without pretending that she's in a committed relationship. An 'open relationship' is a dealbreaker, and I won't have a relationship with a woman who indicates that might something she wants."
thatrightwinger
Hell No!
Fuck Outta Here No Way GIF by Desus & MeroGiphy"Break up, I’m a monogamous person, and the thought of anyone else sleeping with my SO turns my stomach. Nothing wrong with people who like open relationships, but it isn’t for me."
is_anyone-out_there
Good Luck
"Have a long, serious talk with them about why they want it, and what their plans for our future include. I'm actually all for polyamory so long as everyone involved is there for the right reasons and is being completely open and honest about it. Do keep in mind though that the vast majority of relationships that 'become' open, usually fail. It really is the type of thing you have to enter into from day one with everybody on the same page. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you the best of luck and hope you both end up happy."
robyngoodfello-
Zero Respect
"I agreed, tried it out but realized that 1). it wasn't for me and 2). I was secretly just hoping he'd f**k off and leave me for someone else. So eventually I worked up to breaking up with him and life's been great since. I had pretty much zero respect left for that guy by the time the relationship breathed its last."
munkymu
Truth Tellers
"I've been in one before. Another man and a woman. So long as all parties are honest, have their boundaries set and respected, and we're participating clean and safe, it's a good time. Communication is key."
Surprise_Corgi
"It's a good time. Is it sustainable? Is it like, if you want to have lots of sex in your life you maybe do poly. If you want to be career/family focused, you have finite resources you're working with?"
StupidImbecileSlayer
Sometimes you gotta go...
Will Ferrell Goodbye GIF by filmeditorGiphy"If it’s an open relationship or nothing at all, I’d bail. After establishing the communication, trust, and loyalty for all these years I just couldn’t switch to being open. Another reason - I don’t have the energy to be dating all over again. I wouldn’t even get the benefits of being open. I’d just rather be alone for a while."
failtos
Discussions
"I'd agree and see what happened. We haven't had sex in close to a year now anyway. Maybe id be able to find some idiot who might enjoy my company. The problem is we have discussed it and discussed it. I'm just not the kind of person who is going to be like 'we are married and I want sex so you have to do it even if you don't want to.'"
"After so long I've just gotten used to the idea that I take care of myself when she's not home and wait for the rare chance she's in the mood. I've given up on trying after being shut down so much and perhaps thats my fault as well. Meh. Enough complaints to the void today. Thanks."
Brilliant_Succotash1
Don't do it if you're not 100% sure everyone can handle it. Otherwise it's just a mess.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Redditor phantom_avenger wanted to discuss what fan fiction may not need to be made, so they asked:
"What's a dark and disturbing fan theory from a kid's movie or show that you believe is 100% true?"
Fan theories freak me out.
Where do people come up with some of this stuff?
Donkey boys
Good Morning Smile GIF by DreamWorks AnimationGiphy"That donkey from Shrek is one of the talking donkey boys from Pinocchio."
Psychological_Put395
"I didn’t know who the 'donkey boys' were, but I looked it up and it’s horrifying on its own… to see one of those boys grown up and still a Donkey seems pretty dark to me!"
spolite
She's a Help
"The trolls in Frozen manipulated everything to get Christoph on the throne beside Anna, including making Hans go crazy, all the way back to their parent's deaths."
PicnutIn
"Frozen 2, guess who happens to show up in 2 mins after Elsa ‘activates’ the four elemental spirits to ‘help out’ the citizens of Arendelle."
"Guess who tells the queen and her only heir ‘we’ll look after the capital while you go the enchanted forest that no-one is able to escape from’. Guess who tells Elsa she needs to undercover the truth about her past which in the end makes her dive too deep and get frozen solid in Ahtohallen. Grand Pabbie is a villain confirmed."
Cryptand_Bismol
Crazy/Cracked
"Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich."
Apprehensive_Goal811
"I read a Casper 'parody' comic strip in 'Crazy' magazine when I was a kid that was a bit like this. 'Cracked' was a low-rent terrible shadow of MAD magazine, but 'Crazy' was the next tier down, just nasty."
"In the story, the kid's dad throws him head first into a TV (CRT type), killing him, and his spirit is left floating around: Casper the ghost."
"It made me so upset and worried as a kid and made me feel yucky inside. I wish I had never read it. It still comes to mind even today, and the sour feeling with it."
The_One-Armed_Badger
Thins them out...
"Peter Pan kills the Lost Boys when they become adults. The pirates are Lost Boys who ran away and formed a conclave to protect themselves from Peter."
"The book technically says that when Lost Boys grow up Peter 'thins them out' which could be killing or could be kicking them out of Neverland. But if he kicks them out, where do the pirates come from?"
Lord_Mikal
"Peter Pan is definitely killing the Lost Boys that start to grow up, and the ones who dare to rebel against him, the ones who get tired of playing with him too. Those who survive then become pirates."
Rare_Hovercraft_6673
And Piggy?
Press Conference Kermit GIFGiphy"Kermit the frog caused 9/11."
"In lt's a very merry muppet Christmas movie, they edit out the twin towers, however, they forget to do it in the 'what would life be like if I didn't exist bit.'"
"Meaning canonically, kermit the frog caused 9/11."
kg123xyz
Now that one is wild.
Torn
beauty and the beast smile GIF by DisneyGiphy"That the Beast from 'Beauty and the Beast' killed some of his servants because of a brief scene revealing torn apart furniture and several other inanimate objects."
Kandy_669
Science
"The Telly Tubbies are human scientists on a terraforming mission in the far future. They crash landed while still in hypersleep, trapped inside their bio- encounter suits, their minds reduced to those of children. The world they live in is the result of the attempts of the ship AI (sunbaby) to simultaneously complete the mission and rehabilitate the crew."
WittyNomDePlume
Yo home to Bel-AIr
"That Will Smith died during the fight on the playground and being sent to his family in Bel-Air was actually heaven. That’s why his parents would only see him on his birthday/other holidays, because they were visiting his grave."
G8585
"Would also make sense as to why he and the fiancé just randomly called off their wedding at the altar. Entangling someone else wouldn't match with whatever purgatorial state he was in."
"Then the parents bizarrely getting married instead let him know his loved ones were going to be ok without him. Kinda sweet in a way. Still, I never understood that storyline."
Dangercakes13
The Dark King
"Prior to the events of Lion King 2 Simba and Nala had another child (this is the cub seen at the end of the first movie), however that cub was murdered by Zira resulting in the banishment of the Outsiders.
"Hence why Zazu refers to them as 'murderous' outsiders and why Simba is so overprotective of Kiara. Also, while not in itself 'evidence' the movie does make a quick reference to Kopa from the Lion King books. At the start of the song We Are One Simba pushes Kiara off a rock and her tail lands on her head."
"The way the tail floor is positioned makes it look like she has the same mane as Kopa did in the book (so even if this theory may not have been intentionally part of the story it is possible Kopa still served as a partial inspiration for some of the writers and animators)."
"And yes, IK Kopa survived in the books, but I prefer the idea of him dying or at the very least never returning. Since if that isn't the case it'd mean he's the 'true' king and that'd undercut Kiara's story."
Theher0not
Interesting
Flying George Jetson GIFGiphy"The Flintstones and Jetsons take place at the same time, reflecting the widening divide between the wealthiest and poorest of society."
FalseAlarmEveryone
Now that is a show I'd watch.
Do you have any other theories? Let us know in the comment below.
Redditor Fl1p1 wanted to talk about the times movies left us in tears, so they asked:
"Which movie has the saddest ending of all time?"
I've shed so many tears in theaters. I can't keep track.
But I will say one word... "Titanic."
Knock Out
morgan freeman boxing GIFGiphy"Million Dollar Baby."
thesweet_submissive
"Damn, I was gonna say the same. I went in blind and that sad ending hit me like a truck. I wept so much alone in my room. The only movie to evoke such a strong emotion from me."
if**kbarney
I Love Literature
"Of Mice and Men."
3BlindMonks
"Oof we had to read the book in high school, and we read THAT part aloud in class. Before we began, the teacher gave a tissue box to each row of desks, and all us teens were like 'that’s a bit dramatic isn’t it haha.'"
"Then while reading that scene, most of the class ended up either quietly crying or at least visibly sad. I love literature, i majored in English, and I know reading isn’t everyone’s cup of tea; to see a novel move the ones that didn’t even enjoy literature to begin with was truly inspiring. I think seeing a novel move people so drastically is what really pushed me into creative writing."
gothboob69
So... Moving
"Where the red fern grows."
Fun-Training-6241
"I had a sociopath for a 6th grade English teacher that made the class take turns reading this book aloud. So cruel. Everyone was choked up."
WhiskyNerdFAF
"It was actually the VERY ending that got to me, where he's talking about wishing how he could go back and visit his old stomping grounds and maybe find a 2 bit axe with a rusty lantern hanging off of it. I grew up in the woods and seeing evidence of your old past self still preserved is so... moving."
spazmatt527
I'm Tired Boss
"The Green Mile."
Short_Perspective72
"I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other."
Johnny_Grubbonic
"Saw it in the movies. Everyone in the theater cried. Even when the credits started to roll and the lights went on, we all sat there for a couple minutes collecting ourselves. Hadn’t seen anything like that, before or since then."
DopeCharma
Bye Jenny
Academy Awards Film GIF by CBSGiphy"Forrest Gump. I wouldn’t say it is the 'saddest' however the ending where they visit Jenny’s grave, gets me every time."
Emeraldfox_5
"The part where Bubba dies got me even more."
RandomMemer_42069
Forrest Gump always sets the tears flowing.
A Hard Hit
ewan mcgregor popcorn GIFGiphy"Big Fish... Fantastic movie. I generally don't do emotional with movies but damn this one hit hard. Probably topped my childhood tears of Optimus Prime being killed off in the Transformers movie when I was a kid."
sirandtheirDLW
Family Fun?
"My Girl."
longtallsally15
"On Weekends my dad always looked into the tv magazine and chose a kids movie for us to watch. No warning for it, just 'lovely movie for the whole family.'"
"So me, overly empathic 7 year old watched it… and ended up crying for like 2 hours. My father ended up calling the magazine hotline to yell at them. Since then I spoil myself with endings. Unless I know it has a good ending I just can‘t watch movies."
kamalaophelia
Gut Wrenching
"Life is Beautiful."
mazlow01
"Gawd that movie is so hard to watch but is so amazing."
PirateJohn75
"I literally just saw a clip of this movie in a documentary of where he goofily goose steps around the corner in front of his son with a nazi behind him a couple of days ago and just burst into tears. That movie is gut wrenching."
ArmadilloNext9714
"Also my answer. As a Jew who lost ancestors in the Holocaust, that movie had a physical impact on me."
CommissarCiaphisCain
Bad History
"Bridge to Terabithia."
OkFineBanMe68
"I knew nothing about the movie or book when I went in so it was a huge surprise to me and honestly it tore me to pieces when it played out."
Malikhi
"I read that book in school. Didn’t like it. Movie came out and my mom was like hey that was a school book we should go see it. I said nah no thanks I was a kid when I read it I’ll pass."
"She says fine takes my younger brother (4years younger than me so maybe 10 at this time) and two of my cousins (10 and 8) and my aunt."
"My mom came home so upset and I was just hangin' on the couch. She started yelling at me asking why I didn’t warn them and how come I let them go see that stupid movie. I got grounded for it."
VolubleWanderer
Value
"Schindler’s List."
"Though 1100 Jews were saved, Schindler broke down and mourned over not saving more. Instead of patting himself on the back about what he achieved, he came to understand the value of human life and wished he had done more."
Breathtaking
Great Job Congrats GIF by Cappa Video ProductionsGiphy"The Whale recently. The reveal of the letter had me shattered."
bharatchipkar6
The Whale was a lot. But beautiful. See it.
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments.
