Being in a romantic relationship can be hard work.
You're constantly navigating highs and lows.
There is so much compromise involved it can feel like political warfare.
And one of the main factors that keeps romance alive is the spice up.
You want to try to keep things from getting stale.
So that is when new sexual ideas emerge.
Often this is when secret fantasies come to light.
And a lot of the time... the requests don't go over so well.
Redditor MuchLoveWaffleGirlwanted to hear about how to navigate romantic requests of a partner. So they asked:
"What would you do if your SO asked you to have an open relationship?"
I tried open. Didn't really. Could be because I'm a jealous loon. Maybe.
Uh No.Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy
"I was asked. I said no. Things carried on as normal for a few months. Then I found out that the reason she asked was because she was cheating on me. Bye *itch."
Not for everyone...
"Related to someone that has been married for like 18 years now with an open marriage. Not for everyone, but they seemed to have found some way to balance it that works for them. I don’t have details on how they made it work, because I don’t really want to know, but it seemed to be from the start more or less."
"My ex brought it up once, we were a bit wine drunk so I thought it was just a one off fun chat. A while later she mentions how we’re still very young and she’s not sure what comes next, getting married and then that’s it? But life rolled on and we moved and lived together etc."
"In January she tells me she wants to break up. At the time I was blindsided, but looking back now it’s so clear what she was hinting at. I don’t have a problem, I get it, I wish her well, but I sure wish I hadn’t been strung along for two years before that point."
"I actually said yes, and it killed the relationship very quickly. It was not that much of a stretch for us. We would participate in group scenes but we always came as a pair. There were never any issues, and it even brought us closer together. We were able to flirt as a team and explore our sexualities."
"There was never any jealousy. But when she requested we open it up, she also started ignoring our explicit, agreed-upon terms. More than any physical act, that felt like cheating. And when I spoke up about it, I got dumped."
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"Mine asked me 7 months ago and I stupidly accepted (I’m monogamous still) and it hurts, even on the best days I think about it. I’ve told him how I felt about it, but he said he loves the other person too much to end it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and it hit like a rock."
"Edit: I’ve discussed with my boyfriend again how awful it feels and what you guys have said and I am happy to say that he is going to break up with the other person. He said it’s going to take sometime but as soon as he can he will! Thank you all so very much for your input and helping me get this sorted:))."
Trust in this issue is paramount and it feels like it's always the one thing lacking most.
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"Say its not for me and if they want to go ahead then we have to end things. I was briefly the other person in an open marriage, after a few months it was difficult to know if the husband or myself was more miserable. Might work for some people but not for me."
"I’d say no, but I would want to sit and have several conversations about why they wanted that and how we can retool our relationship if that’s what’s needed. It could ultimately lead to an ending, but he’s my person - I’m not throwing that away when it could be salvaged."
Happy with Me
"I would ask them why they suddenly want an open relationship after dating me for so long, and be honest with them. I would tell them that open relationships aren't something I'm comfortable with because I like monogamy. If they can't be happy with me in a monogamous relationship, then it would be over."
It broke me.
"Well I agreed, but only out of fear of losing her. It broke me. And I lost her anyway to a guy she met in a swinger club and who basically could be her father. Never again. Also everyone I know who did it learned the hard way shi* like this doesn’t work out in like 99 percent of cases."
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"If that's what they want and nothing else would make them happy, break up. I don't have the mental health fortitude to deal with the anxiety and insecurity I know I would feel for not being enough."
"I had been in this situation two times. First time I was young and had no experience it was my first boyfriend and I had a lot of family problems so I was afraid of being alone. I accepted it and was a mistake. We broke up six months in to the 'Open relationship' deal and I was left feeling really empty. Funny how he got married with one of the girls he met in that period. He now is recently single after a nasty divorce. Domestic abuse, cheating, etc."
"About five years later a boyfriend tried to pull l the same one on me. I just ended things right away and saved myself from the pain. This guy is still single to date, and older than 40. So, I would stay away from any guy who wants an open relationship, especially if it started as monogamy and he wants to change the rules of game."
"I've wondered if it would work for my partner and I at some different points, but obviously we'd need to work on fixing any serious issues in the relationship before really considering that. If we were in a healthy place in our relationship, we'd discuss the idea and what sort of boundaries we'd have, sit on it for a while to make sure it's something we wanted, and then proceed as we've decided after a particular amount of time. I've got some poly friends that have done it successfully for years, so I don't think it's impossible if you're going about it in a healthy way."
"Tell her to take her stuff and go. She can open up her sex life in her own space and without pretending that she's in a committed relationship. An 'open relationship' is a dealbreaker, and I won't have a relationship with a woman who indicates that might something she wants."
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"Break up, I’m a monogamous person, and the thought of anyone else sleeping with my SO turns my stomach. Nothing wrong with people who like open relationships, but it isn’t for me."
"Have a long, serious talk with them about why they want it, and what their plans for our future include. I'm actually all for polyamory so long as everyone involved is there for the right reasons and is being completely open and honest about it. Do keep in mind though that the vast majority of relationships that 'become' open, usually fail. It really is the type of thing you have to enter into from day one with everybody on the same page. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you the best of luck and hope you both end up happy."
"I agreed, tried it out but realized that 1). it wasn't for me and 2). I was secretly just hoping he'd f**k off and leave me for someone else. So eventually I worked up to breaking up with him and life's been great since. I had pretty much zero respect left for that guy by the time the relationship breathed its last."
"I've been in one before. Another man and a woman. So long as all parties are honest, have their boundaries set and respected, and we're participating clean and safe, it's a good time. Communication is key."
"It's a good time. Is it sustainable? Is it like, if you want to have lots of sex in your life you maybe do poly. If you want to be career/family focused, you have finite resources you're working with?"
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"If it’s an open relationship or nothing at all, I’d bail. After establishing the communication, trust, and loyalty for all these years I just couldn’t switch to being open. Another reason - I don’t have the energy to be dating all over again. I wouldn’t even get the benefits of being open. I’d just rather be alone for a while."
"I'd agree and see what happened. We haven't had sex in close to a year now anyway. Maybe id be able to find some idiot who might enjoy my company. The problem is we have discussed it and discussed it. I'm just not the kind of person who is going to be like 'we are married and I want sex so you have to do it even if you don't want to.'"
"After so long I've just gotten used to the idea that I take care of myself when she's not home and wait for the rare chance she's in the mood. I've given up on trying after being shut down so much and perhaps thats my fault as well. Meh. Enough complaints to the void today. Thanks."
Don't do it if you're not 100% sure everyone can handle it. Otherwise it's just a mess.
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Streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu have enough shows that we'll never have enough hours of our lives to watch all of them.
Nevertheless, we're thankful we'll never be in any shortage of entertainment without ever leaving the comfort of our home.
But even binging new shows can get exhausting because that means we have to search thousands of other titles to start the next binge once we're done with a previous fixation.
Sometimes, revisiting a show we've already watched many times before brings us comfort–even though we know the outcome of every episode every time we re-watch them.
It's not about that. It's more like hanging out with your buddies.
Curious to hear about viewers and their go-to programming, Redditor BaguetteOfDoom asked:
"What's your 'comfort series' that you watch over and over again?"
We can rely on these shows for a good laugh.
And who doesn't love to be in stitches these days?
Hanging With The Bluth Family
"Arrested Development, daily."
The Misfits We Grew To Love
"Freaks and Geeks!"
A Look Into The Lives Of The Creatures Of The Night
"What we do in the shadows"
"Jackie Daytona is comedy gold. His human disguise absolutely kills me."
Not Your Average American Family
"Malcolm in the Middle"
"phenomenal from the first episode to the last."
Medical, courtroom, procedurals, and sci-fi adventures are all reliable genres we can revisit at any point, without having to understand minor, continuous storylines.
Just What The Doctor Ordered
"When I was in grad school it was House, M.D. No matter where I was at - dorm room, library, memorial union - if I was writing I also had House up on Netflix. During my year and a half I bet I watched that series 5 or 6 times. Such a great show."
The Perfect Portal For Escapism
"I have watched so much SG-1 I couldn't even begin to count how many times I've seen it all the way through. I'm with you on that one."
Further Adventures In The Final Frontier
"Star Trek TNG"
"Came here to say this. Each episode is so self contained it makes it easy to pickup and watch."
Now, That Settles It
"Fun little show. Pretty formulaic. But the good guys always win, the bad guys always lose, there's action, and a healthy dose of humor in every episode."
"The cast meshes very well together, too."
Some classics just warrant viewing on an endless loop.
Time To Share Cheesecake With Old Friends
"The Golden Girls."
"I’ve watched a golden girls episode almost everyday for the past 20 years. The jingle that plays right after the theme song puts me in the best mood."
A Personal Connection
"SpongeBob. When my dad passed the last gift I had from him was a huge SpongeBob plushie.. I religiously watched the series while trying to cope with my loss. And, as stupid as it sounds, SpongeBobs happiness and dorkiness often took me away from my dark times. He will always be my favorite."
"Edit: Thank you for all the rewards, I didn't expect it to take off like this. SPONGEBOB FOR THE WIN!"
"Always follow your heart, unless your heart is bad with directions." 💞
Aliens, The Supernatural, Government Conspiracies, Oh My!
"Mine too! Going to rewatch Memento Mori and through Redux this week."
My friends know this about me, but I'm a huge fan of the college drama, Felicity.
The show aired on the WB network in the late 90s-early 2000s and the showrunner was none other than J.J. Abrams.
The show is worth repeated viewing for me because the performances in that show were stellar.
I notice different subtle nuances that Keri Russell so brilliantly brought to the quirky character–who followed her high school obsession, Ben Covington, from Palo Alto, California to New York City–every time I re-watch my, yes, DVDs of the show.
Sadly, the controversial haircut is what has gone down in the annals of bad decisions on TV. But I assure you, the show is MUCH more than that.
But now that it's on Hulu, the sepia-toned, restrained, angsty drama still holds up and can be seen on Hulu. I strongly suggest you go watch it, and fall in love.
With the evolution of humanity also comes the evolution of invention.
From the invention of the wheel to to electric cars, there are countless inventions which have no doubt made the world a better place.
But are there some inventions which we might have been better off without?
Redditor DJWP137 was curious to hear which inventions the Reddit community thought may have done the world a disservice, leading them to ask:
"What, in your opinion, is the worst thing humans ever created?"
I've got nowhere to put anything!
"Fake pockets."- kibalevGiphy
My kids couldn't grow up soon enough
Benefits absolutely no one
"All of them."
"A tool with no other purpose than to inflict misery is about as far from humanity as humanly possible."
"I’m referring to the definition of humanity which means 'humaneness or benevolence'."
"Not 'having to do with human kind'."- Willzyx_on_the_moon
"Chemical and biological weapons."- SuvenPan
Always remember to hold your breath when pumping gas.
"It's believed that in the U.S. alone, leaded gasoline caused the loss of about 824,000,000 IQ points."- DeletedImmediatelygas gasoline GIFGiphy
Just round up the measly penny!
"Items that end in .99 cents."
"Pure evil!"- CarloTheGoat
One less step to damage your lungs!
"Pre-rolled and packaged cigarettes."
"In the 1950’s, a pack of cigarettes was just 25 cents."
"Cheap, convenient, and easily available, even to children."
"While a responsible store might not sell them to a ten year old, supermarket vending machines didn’t care."
"The public didn’t know much about their danger back then and ads even told the public about how Doctors loved to smoke, implying that smoking had the blessing of the medical establishment."- Sxzym
Hours wasted in front of a screen
"League of legends."- _Duckling04
"Social Media in some ways."
"Social media has had an amazing amount of influence, but for all the good that it does, it also creates a 'toxic mirror' effect."
"This is the concept of making people feel bad about themselves by constantly being exposed to information that would make them create negative opinions about themselves."
"The toxic mirror makes anything that isn’t physical, emotional, and mental perfection, ugly and bad for that person."
"Beyond the toxic mirror, many people use social media in ways that hurt the people around them."
"The manifestation of a social persona can often present the opportunity for a user to put out very public misinformation."
"This break from reality further muddies people’s ability to properly identify risk, putting them in harmful situations."
"The Internet is filled with trolls, stalkers, and bullies."
"These groups are allowed to run rampant, as people don’t have a lot of resources to ward against them."
"These individuals hide behind their Internet persona, making civil action against them extremely difficult."
"Cyberbullying, specifically, can cause great harm to people of all ages."- KnotKarmasocial media facebook GIF by weinventyouGiphy
They achieve nothing except making me feel bad about myself
"Credit scores and algorithms that value engagement over quality of content so that sh*tty provocative things which get 100s of hate responses and volatile comments are all anyone sees and thinks we're all the worst of humanity."
"It's like that South Park arc about the Danish trolls coming to fruition, a posts something to get a rise out of b who responds which makes c and d respond and so on."
"Only it's like all the internet is."
"A pyramid scheme of rage clicks."- renaaria
Only time will tell what else modern inventors have in store for us.
For better or worse.
The first time we all have sex is such a nerve wracking experience.
Everybody wants to be good. No... GREAT!
That probability is highly unlikely though.
There is so much to learn and navigate when it comes to sex.
RedditorBobirrrwanted to talk about the birds and the bees and all the information that surprised us. They asked:
"What did you not know about sex until you lost your virginity?"
GuidesBaseball Fail GIFGiphy
"You gotta guide it much more than you think."
"Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error."
"More than trial and error, you gotta ask your partner how it was, what they liked and didn’t like and what they want to try. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner makes it so much better."
"Agreed. An ex friend of mine boasted that he was great in bed because his body count was over 50. Bro, if your body count is that high at that age, it means no one’s coming back for more."
"When you have that mindset you won’t ever get the chance. It’s not that big of a deal and not something you need to put that much pressure on that you’re fretting about it like this. It’ll come, just be you and don’t sweat about it. I was 21 when I lost my virginity and all my friends were 15-18 when they lost theirs. I don’t regret when it happened and I don’t feel like I was late or missing out, it just happened when it happened."
"That two bellies rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time."
I hate that noise. Gross. It's confusing.
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"How you pleasure yourself can be a huuuge influence on your sex life."
It'a All New
"Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time."
Too Much Porn
"That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up."
It makes sense...
"That I was allergic to latex."
"Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense."
"Omg this. Except my allergy was fairly mild. It meant peeling skin a couple days later. Literally took me years to find out why that was."
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"The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body."
Take note friends. Nobody is perfect out of the gate. Take you time. Do it right.
America is in quite a state right now.
We are hurting in ways we've never hurt before.
And getting better doesn't seem like an option on the horizon.
America gets a lot wrong everyday.
But, maybe let's try to focus on what America does right.
Maybe it can be a little comfort in times of struggle.
People from all over the world want to live here.
Redditor Ulrich-Stern wanted to discuss the best of America. They asked:
"What does the United States get right?"
I think America certainly has a strong work ethic. We know how to work and win.
Getting AroundCivil Rights Equality GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy
"Accessibility code for buildings. I come from a country where disability is looked upon like a crime or fault. USA does an amazing job making things accessible. I haven’t seen all of USA but majority of the places has amazing system."
"Our public libraries are a real backbone for the country."
"Andrew Carnegie's groundwork in building the institution of free libraries, even in small towns, set a precedent that we wouldn't fathom today but couldn't live without. They often serve not only as an information exchange but as cultural hub, art gallery, performing arts center, tax aid, voter registration, job resources, etc. in communities."
"Plus they're one of the only places you can just exist for hours indoors without the expectation you must buy something.And I feel like they've adapted to the ever-changing needs of their patrons in modern times faster in the US than most places."
"'A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert.' -Andrew Carnegie"
'restore' or 'create'
"Valuing actual wilderness in places like national parks. Here in England, they will 'restore' or 'create' natural habitats, which is sort-of nice, but they are almost like zoos. They are too small to survive by themselves so they are actively maintained."
"And in some English national parks, they actually allow housing developments as long as the architectural design is sympathetic. Here, 'countryside"'means farms. There is still a notion in the USA of protecting some large wilderness areas from development."
"The rate of smoking cigarettes. We do very little well in the US when it comes to overall health, but we are light years better than most places when it comes to the prevalence of cigarette smoking. Hardcore anti smoking adds + laws of inconvenience + social stigma really did work."
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"Films. Don't get me wrong, the US can put out some bad films, but the best ones I've seen are usually American."
We do do films well. That is a big plus.
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"The United States adopts more children than the rest of the world combined."
"Burgers. Motherfreakin' burgers."
"I'd expand that to sandwiches in general. Burgers, Philly cheese steaks, Reubens, subs, clubs, chopped cheese, po'boys, just this whole sandwich spectrum. Americans just took sandwich concepts from across the globe and ran with them."
"I've always envied your wildlife. I'm from England and the only large wild animals (other than fish) we have are deer, boar and foxes. And they're incredibly rare. I've always thought it was so cool one country could have bears, moose, cougars, alligators, panthers, bison/buffalo, etc."
"Gas stations like QuikTrip, where they have clean bathrooms, lighted parking lots, free air for your tires, ten different coffees on tap, beer, hotdogs, any soft drink or snack you want, the list goes on. In other countries -- you're not gonna believe this -- their gas stations only sell... gas."
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"The US is an absolute science powerhouse. The technology we come out with has touched the lives of nearly every person on the planet."
"I say this as an immigrant who came to this country, so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. But it truly gives people a second chance at life. My life would be nowhere near as good as it is right now if I were back in my home country."
Maybe America isn't the hot mess a lot of people think it is. We'll see...