Although moving to a new city can be like an injection of adrenaline, it is extremely intidmidating.
When I first moved to New York by way of LA, I was terrified. I've never been to the Big Apple, ever. I also didn't know a soul who lived there.
Relying on the internet for navigation and Googling was still a concept in its infancy. I somehow managed to survive only because I threw myself fully into the situation to get acquainted with my surroundings.
One thing I learned is that fear is paralyzing and I adapted quickly because I chose to thrive in the face of anxiety.
Curious to hear opinions from strangers on the internet, Redditor cheaganvegan asked:
"People that have restarted in a new city, what are your tips?"
Tips Upon Arrival
First things first, get your bearings by becoming familiar with the new area. You can Google about the city until the cow's come home but it won't compare to physically throwing yourself into the experience of assimilation.
Surroundings
"I started over in a new city in 2019."
"If possible, visit the city first. I saved myself a lot of grief by visiting first and knowing the general area. If you can't visit, check out google maps."
"Find a job before you move if possible. I found a job with a chain that had a location in the new city. I didn't need to be retrained, so that was one less thing to stress about. The job was the same. I set it up so I had two weeks before I had to start so I could unpack and get settled."
"When you pack, get rid of a bunch of stuff. Have the essentials, like a change of clothes, toiletries, small appliances, and food ready to unpack the first day you arrive. You will be so tired and not want to dig for stuff. Bring a small pack of toilet paper and hand soap for the new place. Try to have at least a pot and a pan, some rubber scrapers, and plates if you can. I'd also pack blankets someplace easy to get out so you can just curl up and sleep if you need. Moving is STRESSFUL, so you want all the stuff you need easy to get to before you unpack entirely."
"LOCATE THE GROCERY STORE. Also find some local restaurants for those first few days."
"Don't forget to set up your utilities the first day. That's a must."
"Find a club if you didn't move with a buddy. Get out your first weekend and go see the sights. Get used to your new environment. The first few weeks just kinda suck, so try to get some good stuff in there. If you can, try to find a club or two or activities/hobbies before you move. Something to look forward to and one less thing to stress about."
"When you first get there, pick a landmark that's visible from most of the city or your neighborhood. A building, monument, etc. When you're learning to navigate that first month or two, that will help you. Make sure you can get home from and get to the landmark. That way, if you ever get lost, just head toward it and then you can get home. Eliminates some panic and stress. This was one of the most helpful things I did when I moved."
"EDIT: Awards, thank you! I'm glad my advice is helpful to people. Moving, even to someplace you really want to go, is stressful. Anything to make it better is great in my book!"
Getting Acquainted
"Get to know your immediate neighborhood. My family and I moved last year from the US south to the PNW. I went through a period of feeling very homesick and disconnected to my surroundings. I changed my mood by really making my neighborhood my own."
"I started talking and becoming friendly with the people nearby that I come into contact with on a regular basis like my pharmacist, barista, crossing guard, etc. I get out everyday and go run in my local park and it helps me to feel connected to where I'm at. I try to look around and remind myself that this is my home. I think this all sounds goofy but it helped a lot."
Start Detaching
"Don't get attached to the physical address of the place you call home. Get attached to smaller things inside your home - like a pillow that's has travelled around with you, or a coffee cup that you painted."
"Over the years, a reverse trend will happen which IMO is more meaningful. You will remember where you painted the cup and where you bought the pillow. So in a way you remember all the good stuff - both the address and associated events."
Psychological Tips
Changing locations is also a reflection of your metamorphosis. Finding a new you and evolving as a resident of a new city can be helpful overcoming culture shock.
Embrace The New City
"Don't try to change the city you now live in into the city you just left."
Change Habits
"Nobody knows you, so you can try to change some habits. I was too shy to talk to people and usually just waited for them to approach me, but when I moved I started talking to people first, it was hard but I'm glad I tried. Changed my eating habits too. Think what kind of a person you wanna be and just try it, see how close you can get."
Comfortable With Me
"The one thing that really surprised me was the fact that I didn't love the new city immediately. It was bigger than I was used to, more expensive, and the job had such higher expectations than my last, same exact job."
"It all took some getting used to, and that took longer than I thought it would. But I loved exploring little hills and out of the way parks, and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so in love with this new place; I couldn't imagine ever living anywhere else."
"Well, of course, now I do, but my love affair lasted a long time. But I think it's a place for younger people, a place to explore and find your way around the city and find yourself."
"Others have made some really good suggestions, but I think I had to be more comfortable with me before I could be comfortable in a new place."
Embrace Opportunity
"Try to be a yes person for the first 6-8 weeks. Any time someone asks you do do something or go somewhere (within safety and financial reason) say yes. Even if you don't really care for that activity or type of food or whatever, say yes and go. It will help you meet people outside of your immediate circle, and once you have seen people socially a couple of times, you can figure out who you are interested in spending more time with and asking them to hang out is less awkward. Just remember, every event isn't going to be the most fun you ever had. It's okay to have just a nice time, because that's laying the ground work for those really fun nights ."
New City Culture
"Don't try to find what you had at home. Don't do what I did going from San Antonio to Seattle. In SA I was an avid Spurs fan (still am.), but nobody wanted to bond about basketball because they are still salty about the former Seattle SuperSonics turned OKC Thunder. Open yourself up to the new culture, I opened myself up to the love of Football- wasn't a Hawks fan but adored their fandom. Learned to love soccer, which wasn't a thing in San Antonio, and became a Sounders fan. Sports aside, don't try to find what you had at home. Open yourself up to the culture that your new city will bring to you."
"Another example: in Texas we thrived on being outdoors. Seattle thrived on that only 3 months of the year. The other months? I learned to love comedy clubs, theater, casinos, and more."
Tips On Relationships With New Locals
Sometimes, making friends can help make you feel less like a stranger. Just hold off on immediately dating.
Dating
"Do not start a relationship with someone who you met on tinder because you didn't want to be alone in a new city and then let the relationship spin out of control and turn out that she's kinda insane and very manipulative and then your first 9 months in London are sh*t and now a whole borough of London is ruined for you by memories of an abusive ex."
"Also, find a coffee shop you like that opens late. Nothing like getting some work done while drinking coffee on a rainy night."
Find Your Community
"try to find some kind of social group that pertains to your interests. it's easier in college, that's what i did and there were plenty to chose from. but there are often plenty of groups for non students if you look around on social media for advertising and stuff. things like volunteer work or local activist type groups can be easier options to look for."
"that's how i started making friends."
– ceb5585
Choosing Groups
"I'm in my forth country in 13ish years. The younger you are the easier it is, especially if you can find a community. I also don't have kids so that's a huge blocker / introducer if you do."
"But basically, as above, find a group. Note almost all organised groups have more drama than you'd have thought possible, so choose wisely."
A common tip from Redditors was to find your community. A sense of loneliness can be unbearable.
I moved to New York on December 23 and I stayed in a tiny studio in Midtown from a friend who happened to be visiting LA at the same time.
So, the only person I knew in the city wasn't even there to help me get my bearings. It snowed the next day on Christmas Eve. I never felt more vulnerable and alone.
But I took the opportunity to avoid succumbing to despair. I walked out in the snow and went to a coffee shop, struck up a conversation with the waitress, and established a connection with the locals.
In that moment I knew that if I can make it there – getting over my social anxieties inside a dingy old school coffee shop – I can make it anywhere.
Every now and then, though, you hear about an encounter with something that shouldn't be there. Sometimes it's an escaped or released exotic animal; hurricanes have destroyed countless wildlife enclosures and some people don't realize how big that cool pet is really going to get and choose to set it loose.
Sometimes it's a "skunk ape."
Florida's version of a 'bigfoot' sounds a little easier to believe when you factor in the huge number of primate enclosures that have been destroyed over the decades. We have established populations of things like monkeys, pythons, and boars now.
Why not gorillas or orangutans? They're both tall upright hair covered primates that might match the description.
Except skunk ape stories go back way before zoos and the exotic pet industry.
Reddit user cruzer58b asked:
"Those of you that TRULY believe you have seen a cryptid (Bigfoot, jersey devil, etc.) what’s your story?"
South Florida isn't the only place the wild gets weird. OBVIOUSLY.
Look at what these Reddit users have experienced.
The Thing Hunting Orcas
Marine Life Beauty GIF by OceanaGiphy"I was on a ferry for a school softball trip, off Kodiak island AK, 2014. I was 18."
"A whole bunch of us had snuck up to the deck around 11pm to watch the waves and generally be teenagers on a boat without supervision. It was 11pm in May in Alaska so the sun was thinking about setting but it was still bright outside."
"So we’re just doing our thing and we notice a pod of orcas swimming with the ferry’s wake, which is very cool but not, like, unusual."
"If you’re familiar with the dimensions of an orca fin you know they’re about 4-6 ft in height and look like big black spikes coming out of the water. Being Alaskan teenagers, we were very familiar. This is important."
"Orcas travel and hunt in pods of anywhere between 15-40 whales. Apex predators. The beautiful demon murderers of the sea."
"Total a**holes. Top of the food chain."
"So we saw this pod of orcas swimming with the boat, counted around 10- 15, with some babies scattered in there. Very fun to watch for the good 30 minutes to all go by. We tried to get pictures, but it was just dark enough that our shitty 2014 phone cameras weren't much good."
"Another 30 or 40 minutes go by and we’ve all pretty much sobered up and it’s about to finally get dark and we’re cold and sleepy and about ready to go in."
"We haven’t seen an orca for like half an hour, and then one of the girls spots another one and points it out. So we all turn and look at the whale's dorsal fin - but one dorsal fin is immediately followed by another, and another, and another, and then two more, and then two more after that, in two separate rows, and they’re taller, by a LOT, and jagged, like some have whole chunks torn out of them, and they’re all 8-10 feet high."
"And all these fins are attached to ONE creature."
"We can just barely see its back slicing through the water, covered in these rows of spikes, and it just. Keeps. Coming. This thing is like 20 or 30 feet from the ferry, running parallel to it, and we are all transfixed."
"This wasn't a small group - there’s like 9 or 10 of us and no one is saying a word because we’ve all turned to look at a whale and we are all now watching something that is like, horrifically, terrifyingly obviously NOT a whale."
"Someone tries to take a picture but it’s too dark at this point and the only reason we can see this thing is the light cast from ferry portholes, which is a take as old as time when it comes to things that you REALLY f*cking wish you had a picture of."
"But we all stand there completely scared stiff and in awe and we watch this thing just KEEP surfacing for a good 6 or 7 minutes which means that whatever it was was LONG. Like..... 60 or 70 feet long."
"Or longer."
"And covered in enormous spikes. Spikes that looked like they’d won thousands of battles with god knows what."
"It took what felt like an eternity for any of us to say anything after the last of it disappeared back into the strait."
"I mean if you and like ten of your friends had just all seen something that all science had DEFINITELY pointed to not existing, and you had all seen the same exact thing, AND it was very OBVIOUSLY trailing, nay, HUNTING, not one but 15 something APEX F*CKIN PREDATORS, what do you even say to break that silence?"
"That’s the thing that eats me about the whole thing, is it was hunting. It was following them. It was literally hunting about 60 tons of toothy, angry, intelligent apex predator."
"Every once in a while one of us will hit another one of us up and check in, like 'Do remember this? Was I hallucinating? Did we all see the same, insane, worldview-melting, terrifying thing that night?' And the reason I KNOW we did is because none of us talked about it."
"Not during the trip, not after, not to any of our friends because how the f*ck do you even tell someone about something like that?"
"Now we have almost 10 years between us and that night I assume some of them have probably told people, I know I tell people, because I’ve seen a LOT like that in Alaska and I’m That B*tch."
"And also because there’s a very rich history among native Alaskans of a Something that lives and hunts in the waters around Kodiak and it’s important to tell its story because someday it’s gonna eat a little too much plastic and no one will ever watch it hunt a pod of orcas terrified from a boat ever again."
- slobone
The Cutest Cryptid
Arts And Crafts Love GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"One night I was driving home at around 2 AM and this tiny, tiny white creature (probably as tall as a Pringles can, though maybe a bit smaller) walked across the road in front of my car."
"I hadn't thought about this in a while but here's what I can remember: The bottoms of its "legs" ended in what looked like flowy bits or ribbons, and it was almost translucent. I could almost see the road THROUGH the creature."
"It walked at a kind of jaunty pace, just like a person might walk. The best way to describe it is like that super steppy walk that the dwarves sometimes do in Snow White, or Mickey Mouse does sometimes."
"I slowed my car down but was afraid to stop it completely, and the thing disappeared as my car went 'through' it."
"Honestly it was so f*cking cute that I wasn't even scared, but I was shaken up by having seen something like this."
"I couldn't believe what I saw, so I called my then-boyfriend and frantically described the creature. He told me that it sounded like the Fresno Nightcrawler, and when I got home and looked it up, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE."
"I had never heard about them before. I do not live in California, not even close. I still have no clue what it was."
- Langoustina
The Swimmer
Michael C Hall Night GIF by DexterGiphy"I used to go running and take a break at a train bridge in Iowa city when I went to school there."
"I did a lot of night runs. Sometimes, only after dark, I'd hear something swimming around at that train bridge. Maybe human or deer sized."
"One time, It was late and I heard it again. But this time, I could see something dark on the water. Looked like a profile of a very large head."
"I said 'hello, someone there?' "
"It stopped dead still and looked at me. It was dark but I could tell it was looking right at me. This went on for 30 seconds to a minute. It then went under, and I never saw or heard it again."
"I told myself it was a person swimming. But why not say hi back? Also, where did it go under to?""It was a slow river, I would have heard it surfacing or getting out of the water unless it went over a hundred feet."
"That's the closest thing to a cryptid I've seen and known about."
"Some people are saying beavers and otters. I've seen river otters (but not in the US), it was far too big to be a normal sized one. I've never seen the 6 ft ones, and I don't think they live anywhere near Iowa."
"It was much too big to be a beaver too, I see those all the time, and they're usually denoted by telltale signs such as dams and chewed trees. Also, I've never seen beavers active at night only during the day."
"I think it was probably just a person, maybe a homeless person who wanted to not be bothered by me."
"As I said, that's the closest I've come to seeing a cryptid, I know the original post asked for people that are 100% sure, but it was late at night and it felt appropriate to tell that story."
- orangutanglibrarian
Orangutan/Lemur Hybrid
orangutan GIFGiphy"When I was 14 or so in 2003 I saw what looked like an orangutan/lemur hybrid watching me from the trees."
"When it realized I was looking at it, it took off into the trees and disappeared. This was in Western NC, nothing like that should have been around here."
"For a few years I looked for articles about someone’s escaped exotic pet but never found anything. Eventually just wrote it off."
"Years later I heard a Lore episode about the Pukwudgie and I immediately got chills because the description matched what I saw. I’m still not sure what happened."
"Few months ago I was dumb enough to wander into the same patch of woods. I got nailed by a rock and when I looked up I saw a small outline ducking around like it was watching my reaction. Again, when it recognized I was looking at it, it took off."
"I don’t know what happened but I also don’t really plan on going back."
- kookooforpococuffs
Hopefully A Bear
red dead redemption bear GIFGiphy"About 16 years ago I lived in the rural areas of Kansas, town was about 6 miles from my house."
"At night while I was waiting for sleep I stared out of my window and look out into the darkness. Normally I would see owls, possums, racoons, coyote, etc all just minding their business doing animal stuff."
"And I could always hear them. Loud and clear."
"One night as I am trying to get to bed I watch and listen for the wildlife and on this night there was none to be heard or seen. Being a kid I thought nothing of it."
"Until I saw a HUGE black figure moving on four legs."
"I could swear I had seen a brown bear this thing was THAT massive. Except we lived in midwest Kansas. We have no bears."
"Cows and horses are too tall and not wide enough for what I saw. Plus our neighbors all had cattle so I was familiar with what they look like at night."
"People suggested it could have been one of the massive dogs like a malamute or leonberger or something. Maybe it could have been, but they are still too small for what I saw."
"Never saw it again"
- Staticshivyasuo
"There are bears in Colorado, Arkansas, Missouri, And a bit in Oklahoma. Kansas is in the historic range of black bears as well."
"I don't think it's a stretch that one may have wandered in from a surrounding state."
- sarraceniaflava
"This would relieve years of stress and the itch of the unknown if I could get confirmation that it was, it is how I always make it out in my head. A really big bear."
- Staticshivyasuo
The Big Blue
trailer GIF by Jurassic WorldGiphy"Been deep sea fishing a few times. You NEVER see schools of fish so far out, but once we saw this massive shadow moving FAST. It couldn't have been a whale, they don't move like that. The skipper stared at this mass of blue with me for about 20 seconds before it was gone and swore it was a megalodon. i'm not convinced but I have never seen a school of fish that far out in the ocean ever."
- uncareingbear
"It could be a large species of squid such as Colossal or Giant Squid. They are found world wide. It's odd they would come to the surface, but it's not to weird."
"Other options are Sunfish, Oarfish, or Large Shark."
- kazeespada
"I’m a firm believer there has to be some kind of megalodon or something out there, we just don’t know enough about the ocean"
- cruzer58b
When It Looked At Chandler
scary jack the giant killer GIFGiphy"My friend was at a camp with me and we were in the same cabin, we all stayed up late we got tired and went to sleep."
"My friend, lets call him Chandler, and I stole some instant coffee packets from the kitchen and we had them in water at night. Chandler didn't have a good caffeine tolerance like me so he stayed up a bit after all of us went to sleep."
"I asked him what he was going to do and he said he brought a novel and he was going to read it until he fell asleep."
"It was about 1am and we are all peacefully sleeping and then we hear the biggest scream. Chandler was crying and shaking in his sleeping bag and everyone in our cabin came over to see what was wrong and to help him out."
"He screaming really loud and if that didn't wake up other cabins and the teachers then his loud crying after did. Soon all the teachers were inside out cabin and I had to stay on my bunk bed to not be squashed."
"Chandler told us that he saw a ghost wandering around our cabin. He said he also heard the wind breeze while the ghost was moving. Another guy in my cabin backed him up saying he also heard that."
"Chandler was sent home and everyone continued the camp, however, it felt really weird. I talked to him a lot when we all got home and he told me more details."
"He told me he looked at the ghost for about 3 seconds because he was too shocked to say anything. The ghost was not white look in movies, it was transparent and BARELY visible."
"He told me it looked like a little boy. The little boy was not in our school uniform, but in really old fashioned clothes. Chandler told me he wasn’t too scared of the boy in those 3 seconds but shocked because it was a ghost."
"Then what really screwed him was after those 3 seconds when his brain clicked and he screamed."
"The ghost boy turned and looked at him "with shallow, lifeless eyes" and then rushed out of the cabin. This was the wind sound Chandler and my cabin mate heard."
"Then I remember distinctly what Chandler said because if I was him, I would doubt everything I know. He said 'That ghost looked at me, with no expression, and even though it was only for a split second, it felt like an eternity. I knew it wasn’t just my mind playing tricks when I saw his eyes. There was no soul in them, like it had been sucked away.' "
"I find it really weird because Chandler is the most honest guy I know and he seemed really traumatized."
"I was considering if it was the effect of the coffee, but he had it the night before as well and didn't see and hallucinations. Plus he was a regular drinker and he loved the taste even though it made him stay up."
"This story shakes me to this day."
- DirtyDuckTales
"Not A Deer"
Busch Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"Alright it’s finally my time to shine!"
"The area I live in has a very active deer population. They’re constantly getting hit by cars at night in my area and people constantly have to be on the lookout for these dudes."
"So one night I’m driving home from my friends house around 1am. I’m going pretty slow because the place near my house has a pretty big deer family who loves the area (around 6-7 of them)."
"So I’m driving up a hill going around 30mph and I had to slam on my breaks cause a 'deer' runs in front of my car."
"I don’t know if it was because it was super late at night and I was tired or what. But I sh*t you not, this was not a deer."
"It kind of was, but it had one too many legs and too many eyes. I only saw it for a second cause it ran past my car. But it was the weirdest thing I’d ever seen."
"It was pretty quick when it went by my car, but the 'tail' for sure was a leg, I can say that for certain."
"I even looked it up later and there is a commonly seen cryptid called the “Not a Deer” so that’s just my fun little cryptid story."
- bobcatnat123
Jellyfish In The Air
jellyfish GIF by Monterey Bay AquariumGiphy"Walking through the woods in the southeast US for fun I walked through a field where there were tiny fluorescent jellyfish-like things floating through the air. Maybe half an inch to 2 inches in size."
"I initially thought it was some kind of plant spores or something moving in the wind but when I looked at them closer they were actually moving independently."
"That was about 2006. I spent months going through those woods and that field over and over again with a camera trying to find them but I've never seen them since."
- gettogero
My long-term readers will know I'm super sketched out by orcas and have essentially written off Argentina because their orcas hunt on land.
Alaska clearly needs to get scratched off my list, too.
Anything big enough to hunt orcas is certainly big enough to hunt Ericas and I'm not trying to be on anyone's menu.
Kthankxbye, giant spiky sea thing.
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