We looooove a first date. (Read: Nobody loves a first date.)
First dates are awkward. No matter how good they end up being, they start off awkward. There's always nerves surrounding them. Am I going to impress them? Are they going to impress me? How are we going to get along?
Do we kiss? What do I say? How do I be myself?
Wouldn't we all like a little more guidance?
Here were some suggestions.
Don't Be A Silent Jerk
Ask questions in general. Don't just talk about yourself. Don't expect them to carry the conversation. When in doubt, ask a question about the topic they were just talking about. Chances are it's a topic they're interested in.
This Was A Less Than Ideal Ending
This couple matched on a dating service and agreed to go out. The girl, however, didn't follow my rule (using the restroom before you leave) and wound up having to go to bathroom when they got back to his place. So she does her thing, right, but the toilet ends up being clogged and it over flows. To save herself some embarrassment she tries to wrap up her crap in a towel with the intention of throwing it out the window. But the window is too high. So she climbs up and gets herself stuck dangling out of the window with her wrapped up poo sitting there on the edge beneath the window. Her date has to call 9–1-1 to get her out of there.
Classy, Not College
Make sure that you have enough money to pay for the entire date. I think that splitting the tab for food/drinks on the first date is pretty normal, but it always helps to be prepared, especially if you are the one who asked the other person out.
Also, be punctual. Another person has agreed to spend a chunk of their free time with you, so that needs to be appreciated and respected. And don't get lit up on shots, reach a level beyond buzzed, or order any drink that has the word "bomb" anywhere in the name.
Let It Go, Let It Go
A first date is like a pilot of a TV show. It determines whether there is going to be a second date and so on. All you have to do on the first date is just have fun, get to know each other, if you click, it's great! If you don't, so what? It's a first date.
Furry Backup Plans
I would recommend to not go for a dinner date or a movie date for the first date. Both are better suited for later dates. Both of them have issues like who pays for the dinner/tickets and there is no easy escape if the date is not going well.
My go to option is to just go for a coffee/tea in a nice cafe. Coffee and tea are not that expensive, so it really doesn't matter who pays and they also provide a good atmosphere to just talk to your date. Pro tip are interesting cafes like the cat cafes that exist in some cities. It is a regular cafe but with cats. If the date doesn't go well, you can still play with some cats.
Impress? But Whom?
If you're a man who feels societal obligation to pay on the first date, actually listen to what your date is telling you. I much prefer paying for myself, especially that early on in a relationship, but I've occasionally been up against guys who feel the need to pay even though I was clearly very uncomfortable with it and I knew neither of them were particularly financially better off than me anyway.
Past the point of me offering to be polite, it was quite clear I genuinely wanted to pay for myself and that was what they wanted too, they just felt pressure to keep up appearances. We ended up agreeing that he would pay in the restaurant and I would transfer him the money (this has happened multiple times to me!). It made it pretty clear that they were much more interested in appearing gentlemanly to the wait staff than making me comfortable - remember who you're trying to impress!
Let Them Come To You
As a guy, no touching/kissing on a first date. If they are interested, women will try to touch your arm/hand. I never initiate touching because if you touch them and they pull away, it's game over. The most I'll ever do on a first date is touch their back as I guide them through a door and maybe a hug at the end of the night.
Besides, I like to spend the first date getting to know them. When you're worried about kissing them or how much you can touch them, it's really distracting and turns into a mental tug of war. I like to alleviate that and just have fun and get to know them. Plus, it puts your dates mind at ease and they're not trying to play defense. I've found it's just better for everyone if you don't even think about it.
Takin' Care Of Yoself
People don't realize how important this is but TAKE A SHOWER RIGHT BEFORE YOUR DATE!!! Put on deodorant and a small amount of cologne/perfume. You want to smell good if they get up close but not be overpowering.
Keep It Busy
This is kind of my thing, but I like putting together first dates where we do some kind of activity. Of course it depends on a lot of factors, but I especially like dates where we do something with our hands. Plopping down when you first meet someone and trying to have a natural 2 hour conversation with someone is pretty difficult in any context, and so keeping your hands busy takes a lot of the edge off.
Take The Pressure Off
Honestly, going on a double date for our first date is probably what made me score my fiancé. I'm such an awkward person but I was comfortable being around the other couple and ultimately made me open up to him. He didn't call me for 3 days but I'm finding out that's because that's what his roommate told him to do. So standard. But 2.5 years later and we're hopefully still getting married 10/3/2020!
Some people prefer being single. They don't have to answer to anybody, they can play by their own rules, and they can continue going about their day-to-day without accommodating the needs of a significant other.
But that status of perpetual independence can eventually hit a breaking point.
It makes one wonder while being single can be a convenience, are we meant to live alone forever?
Unfortunately, avidly seeking out a relationship is a hit or miss, so an individual's situation can be out of their control.
But for those who are apprehensive about giving up their freedom to share a life with someone, married people imparted their wisdom when Redditor Charming_Cash asked:
"Married people of reddit, What something you wish unmarried people knew?"
Redditors reminded that maintaining a sense of self in a marriage was of great importance.
Being Good To Yourself
"Being married shouldn’t take away from having a good relationship with yourself."
The Power Of Three
"My wife's uncle officiated for us, as he has for other family members and friends. Before the ceremony he told us his 'theory of love and marriage.'"
"He said many, if not most people look at marriage as two becoming one, but that's not accurate, healthy, or stable over any length of time. He said it's not two becoming one, it's two becoming three; there's each of us as separate individuals, and then us together as it's own creation. Each of those three needs love and care and attention."
"I've found it to be incredibly hopeful, helpful, healthy advice."
Working On Yourself
"Your single problems will be your married problems. Marriage and your spouse can't fix you. Work on yourself as much as you can before you get married. For yourself and for your spouse."
Here are tips that may come in handy in the bedroom.
You Can Still Sleep Well
"It’s okay to use two blankets. No one likes to wake up with cold a** cheeks because your spouse stole the blanket."
Sides Of The Bed
"This was a game changer for us! We're both cold creatures but we both also like our space in bed. We'll cuddle for a few minutes then separate to our respective sides of the bed to actually sleep. We each have our own duvet and it works out perfectly!"
It Doesn't Work For Everyone
"i wish my wife liked her own space in bed, i woke up the other night and she was sleeping on top of me..literally no part of her body was on the mattress, it was all on me....i had to yeet her across the bed just so i could breath."
Once Upon Two Mattresses
"Along with two separate blankets we also have two twin xl mattresses on a king size frame so there's no energy transfer to the other side of the bed when one of us is shifting around or whatever. Also makes moving the bed setup much much easier than dealing with a floppy two-ton king size mattress."
These are things to keep in mind when considering tying the knot.
It's Not A Bandaid
"Getting married WILL NOT help solve any issues in your relationship..."
The Thing About Having Kids
"Totally agree with this and the same with the kids point too. I’ve always thought marriage adds extra pressure in the legal confirmation of you being together and the vows you make to one another."
"Children just add an extra layer of pressure were you have less time to devote to one another so any cracks that were in the relationship before will get blown into massive fissures which can be fixed. However if the relationship needed saving before the kids it is not going to last when that kids comes along I don’t think."
Making Time For Each Other
"Pretty well written, my wife and I had minor problems that could all be managed by just chatting and hanging out together. We made each other happy enough just by being together that the minor stuff wouldn't even be an issue, so when we had a kid (which has been largely awesome) and our time together got turned into time for our daughter, we started to fight a lot more. Make time for mom and dad dates without the kid(s) for the good of you both, you need some time to just hangout and love each other."
The Day Of The Nuptials
"The wedding is just one day and does not fix any issues. It goes back to the exact same relationship afterwards. And if you're lucky, that's a good thing."
Some good points here were mentioned, and I can agree with all of them.
I knew a couple who was about to spend some time apart due to work opportunities. Fearing the guy might drift apart from his girlfriend while he was working abroad for six months, he proposed to her at the airport as she was sending him off.
They never got married when his contract was over. Turns out he cheated on his girlfriend on several occasions while he was away.
So much for that proposal as insurance his heart would be forever true and faithful.
Some horror films will never grow old. It's October! Get into the horror film spirit.
There are so many classics worth seeing. Last year, a friend of mine who had never seen too many horror films asked me if we could get together so they could enjoy some classics.
Of course we had to watch the original Halloween. They loved it. I wish I could once again experience what it was like to watch that movie for the first time. Living vicariously through their experience was well worth it, though.
People shared their favorite classic horror films with us after Redditor baylawna6 asked the online community,
"What older horror movie still holds up?"
"Alien. Too bad everybody saw a version of that by now, but watching the chest-bursting scene for the first time might possibly be the most impressive thing I saw in a movie, ever."
The first time I saw that as a kid I was utterly horrified. And I loved every single minute of it. It absolutely holds up!
The Changeling (1980)
"The Changeling. Everything but the wheelchair bit at the end, which is... unfortunate. Everything else is A+."
Probably one of the best classic haunted house stories. Excellent!
The Omen (1976)
"It’s got everything: amazing kills, investigative horror adventure, perfect actors, killer soundtrack, creepy kid, multilayered story, and more! I think it was Wes Craven who said he never figured out how they did that beheading scene so well."
This is absolutely one of my favorite horror films ever. Everything about it is a master class in filmmaking.
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
"Rosemary’s Baby. It’s more of a psychological thriller than horror in some ways, but it’s a really disturbing movie if you can adjust to the pace and watch Rosemary be gaslit by everyone around her over control of her body. Really well written film that was executed just about perfectly."
This is a perfect film. Rosemary's loss of control has grown only more horrifying in a post-Roe world.
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
"The Night of the Hunter. Nothing supernatural or extraterrestrial in this one. Just two vulnerable children fleeing from a very bad man. The cinematography makes it feel like you're watching an actual nightmare."
This is a perfect film and truly one of my favorites. The cinematography is out of this world.
The Shining (1980)
"The Shining. In fact, the older it gets, the creepier it feels. Those zero CGI horror flicks definitely have a different feel from some of the modern ones. The Overlook feels eerie even if nothing scary had happened."
The Shining is indeed incredible. The 1997 miniseries that more closely followed Stephen King's book unfortunately felt very campy.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I remember being f**king terrified as a kid when Donald Sutherland did his thing at the end."
I love the original film very much but the 1970s remake improves on it considerably. The 1993 take on the story—simply called Body Snatchers—is well worth a watch.
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Terrifying because there's no jumps scares, no supernatural threats, just two horrible people being horrible to each other."
It's an unsettling film and the final few minutes are a master class.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
"Night of the Living Dead. I can't watch that at night. The whole film has such an unsettling mood, that I genuinely get creeped out."
I watch this movie at least once or twice a year. It's pretty much perfect.
The Exorcist (1973)
"The Exorcist still holds up to this day. Maybe it's the whole religious aspect but I still know people who refuse to watch it again even after seeing it years ago."
The Exorcist is a perfect movie. It works as both a horror film and as an upsetting family drama. Ellen Burstyn's acting alone is worth the price of admission.
It's spooky season everyone! Get into the spirit. These classics will never grow old.
Have some horror favorites of your own? Tell us about them in the comments below!
When you're just starting to get to know someone, there are number of typical "icebreaker" conversations people tend to use to get to know one another.
Favorite films, books and tv shows, recent travel, hobbies, all shared in the hope of finding common interests.
If things seem to be going well, people often begin to get comfortable enough to move past the generic questions and begin to get more personal.
Which can prove to be a risky endeavor, as some intimate information might end up being revealed, which the receiving party wasn't quite ready to hear.
"What's the most f**ked up thing someone has told you about themselves after barely getting to know them?"
Not At All The Same Thing!
"Visited a coffee shop for the first time on holiday."
"Barista commented on my tattoos."
"I said thank you."
"She told me she's not allowed to get tattoos but she cuts herself to enjoy the pain and that's nearly the same thing."
"I found a different coffee shop for the rest of the holiday."- kyridwen
You Meet All Kinds Of People
"Stuck driving a coworker out to a remote gas plant to do a system install."
"He was kinda f*cked up but assumed it was just socially awkward IT way."
"He starts telling me about him and his dad collecting nazi memorabilia and how proud he was of his German grandparents."
"Trying to make other small talk and he would just trail off answering questions and start singing to himself."
"Thought for sure I’d end up on the news and a manhunt would be conducted."
"Second best story, met the neighbor right after we moved in and she started telling me about them wanting another kid but doing the deed was hard because she was overweight and had bad knees and it just made it difficult."
"I’m a guy who never met her and have my kids playing mere feet away so I can’t call her batsh*t crazy." - Reddit
There Is Such A Thing As Too Much Coffee
"A customer explained to me the benefits of a coffee enema to heal everything from my acne to preventing cancer."
"I couldn't get her to leave me alone for an hour because it was dead and no one was there to help."
"I worked for a skincare counter in a department store."
"Like if you don't need my products because cleaning your butt with coffee fixes it, why are you here?"
"But she went on about how she started her kids on these and did their enemas until they could do theirs on their own."National Coffee Day GIFGiphy
"Then she also grabbed my hands and kept saying promise me you'll try it."
"She left after I promised."
"No, I didn't try it." - Reddit
Makes You Value What You Have
"Had to get my picture taken for a visa so went to a local photography shop that took the pictures and printed them out for you right there."
"I had been talking to the guy as he worked on other people's photos and when I finally got my picture taken he started opening up about his family."
"Apparently his son was killed 3 years ago in a car accident and he was telling me how much I reminded him of his son, going to school for engineering, 1st generation college student etc."
"The son was killed in his senior year so didn't even get to graduate, he even showed me pictures it was heartbreaking."
"To make things worse he said he had a degenerative muscular disease and doctors had given him about 2-3 years before he'd be bed ridden."
"He then went on to say his daughter was taking care of him and how she isn't married yet and deserves to live a young persons life and man, it really put into perspective how bad some people have it."
"I still think about that guy to this day and hope he's doing well."- EA721
Don't Be So Sure Of Who You Can Trust...
"I made the unfortunate mistake of inviting my old neighbor over when we were having a party."
"He had like five gins in my kitchen and confessed to an unsolved murder in Nunavut, Canada."
"He's in jail."- _HossBonaventureCEO_
It Takes Courage To Ask For Help
"Moved to a neighborhood not to long ago."
"First person I meet was an older woman in her 50s."
"She told me all about her drug use and how sometimes she ends up outside naked and asked if I would help her back inside and put clothes on her."
"This was all in 5 minutes of saying hello."- Horribleheadacheshomer simpson lawn GIFGiphy
An Unexpected Family
"Sat on an Amtrak across from a very sweet older man, who within twenty minutes was telling me about the purpose of his trip to Maryland."
"To meet his biological father, who he had discovered via 23andMe, to discuss changing his last name, which was the condition of becoming the sole inheritor of his father’s estate."
"And that he was feeling a little guilty about that because his three half sisters would be excluded from their father’s will because he 'finally had a legacy.'”
"He disembarked twenty minutes later, and I have thought about it constantly for the following four years."- mom_jean
No Better Truth Potion Than Alcohol...
"Bartender for awhile."
“'I’m here to meet a man to cheat on my husband with'.”- Oh_Archie
Some people just have that way about them, that leads all those who meet them to think they will be fast friends.
Often leading to a bit too much information on a first meeting.
And yet they wonder why you never want to hang out?
All scars tell a story.
Some scars people wear proudly, as they are possibly a reminder of their service dedicated to fighting for what's right.
Other scars might be more poignant, serving as a reminder of a life saving surgery.
And then there are the scars which we can only look upon with laughter.
The scars which we gained from such a ludicrous reason, that nobody will likely believe the story that comes with it.
"What's the dumbest way you've gotten a scar?"
Someone's Got Issues...
"My cousin scratched my face because I was very ill and everyone was taking care of me."
"So she got jealous and nobody noticed for a long time because they were focussed on getting my temperature back to normal."- notmytype_xoxo
Partying A Little Too Hard...
"I was headbanging my hair dry in the bathroom, I hit the counter."
"I was 8."- calamityjane515
Tried To Get Ripped, But Only Got Cut...
"I was in middle school and we were going to see 'Coach Carter' in theaters with the boys b-ball team."
"Middle school me was PUMPED."
"While in the shower I thought 'Coach Carter' eh, I bet they do push ups in that movie'."
"Imma do push ups right now'."
"Tried to do a wall push up."
"Slipped, smacked my face on the edge of the tub, and split my upper lip open from mouth to nose."
"Needless to say, did not make it to the movie."- lovesbreadtakesdumpzYoga Push Up GIF by YOGABODYGiphy
Tighter Squeeze Than Anticipated...
"I was trying to squeeze between 2 cars."
"One of the cars must have had a jagged bumper because it sliced a 2 inch gash in my leg."- Carsto_2
The Dangers Of Potty Training
"I got hit on the bridge of my nose by a ceramic toilet seat when I was learning to pee like a big boy."
"Now I think about it, that's probably the best outcome there."- Oddball_bfi
Pain In The Name Of Cleanliness
"I used a pressure washer on my foot."- polish-polisherLimpeza Faxina GIF by WAPGiphy
They Warn You Not To Play With Needles
"Fir needle cut me across the wrist while playing hide and seek out in the woods."
"A fir needle!"- wunderbraten
Happy Birthday Indeed...
"For my 8th birthday, a classmate got me something like a 'grow your own stalagmite' kit you could buy at educational stores."
"Apparently, the purpose was to add water to some powder material, and use a funnel in the kit to drip it down to make your own cave features."
"Exciting, I know."
"Anyway, I kept it and the other birthday presents I got in a cardboard box in my room."
"Evidently, at some point, moisture got into the box and the plastic the powder was in, and it began expanding."
"Having nowhere else to go, the 'stalagmite' material oozed its way out through the narrow slits in its box, and hardened into razor sharp edges."
"I found this out quite bloodily when I put my hand into my birthday box to grab another toy, and pulled it out with permanently altered fingerprints on my thumb, index, and middle fingers."- Dahhhkness
Good Thing They're Now Mostly Obsolete
"Boys from my class were throwing CDs like you throw frisbee."
"One of those hit me right between the eyes."
"Still got a small scar there."- Domoradzkacd spinning GIF by Anthony AntonellisGiphy
Ready Or Not, Here I Come!... Or Not...
"Playing man hunt."
"Some idiot made the camp fire area base."
"I was running for my life to get there, jumped this huge pile of fire wood, tripped over something and rolled right into the fire"
". It could've been SO much worse, but I only burned my elbow and some of my hair."
"It's been probably 15 years and the scar is only about 3inches long and 1 wide."- jwolfe728
Scars are a lingering reminder, often of things we would rather forget.
But seeing as they won't go away anytime soon, all we can do is own them.
For at the end of the day, all scars, be they from fighting in battle or simply falling over your own to feet, should be worn proudly.