People Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
They say we are all only separated by six degrees. A parent's cousin's friend's teacher ends up being your neighbor. BOOM, connected.
But even with a theory like that in tow, chance encounters feel so uncanny. For us singular human beings in a chaotic mass of 7 billion, a one-to-one connection feels profound.
And that felt significance ramps way up when the encounter happens in a random place on the other side of the globe from where one typically lives.
These Redditors shared their best stories of those moments.
The Same Guy.Giphy
"Before I was born....
My father used to work for an international airline and he once got sent to Miami for a couple of months, where he befriended one of the bartenders in the airport's bar. Less than a year later he got sent to Zurich and the first time he stepped into that airport's bar the bartender greeted him like an old friend. At first my father just assumed that the guy was naturally like that, but after thinking for a bit he realized that it was the same guy."
"Went to New York for a weekend with my girl a few years ago, we were walking up the Empire State Building and walking down the other way was my ex-girlfriend from my small town that i grew up in and had not chatted to for years.
I grew up in a small town in Southern England, wtf?"
When We Were Young
"A friend in high school was dating a guy from another city. A girl I worked with was from the same town as friends bf and I mentioned that my friend was dating someone from where she use to live. I only knew his first name, age and something rather general about him and jokingly asked her if she knew him.
She immediately knew who I was talking about. Their parents had worked together when they were younger and they had spent some time together as kids."
It still blows my mind to this day
"My father moved to a small town in rural Midwest in 2000 from the southern part of the US. Prior to that, he lived his whole life in Europe, both eastern and western but is originally of Slavic descent.
When he moved to this new Midwestern town, he started looking up Slavic last names (not many given the size of this place) to find new friends and started calling them. One of the people he called shared the name of someone he worked with when he lived in Eastern Europe back in the early 90s.
He didn't think much of it because there are a lot of common names in Eastern Europe. But the guy then told him that his occupation was the same as the person he knew with the same name. After probing further, it turned out that that this actually was his colleague, and that they both somehow ended up in the same tiny @ss middle-of-nowhere Midwestern town, and came there under the same exact circumstances.
It still blows my mind to this day."
"I met someone in Korea while traveling. When I went back to work and told one of my colleagues about it turns out she was her best friend."
"I was introducing a guy to replace me at work in a town I was leaving. We had never met before, but it turned out he had not only worked (briefly) at the new place I was starting at, but also grew up in the house next to the one we just bought there."
"Yeah, my family and I had booked a kayaking trip on our vacation in Norway. We're from a small town in Southern Wisconsin. Our tour guide was from a town 10 miles down the road."
"When I got hired at my job and realized the old Filipino guy in my department who sat across from me was married to one of my mom's college classmates from the Philippines. Sometimes my mom or his wife would have us bring stuff for the other because it's easier lol (my mom lives in town and her classmate is about 10 miles out from her).
It shouldn't be such a trip because in Hawaii pretty much everyone knows everyone, but just knowing that they started in the PI and then both ended up and stayed in Hawaii when their other classmates eventually ended up in Nevada or California."
"Travelled abroad the summer after 4th grade and went to a theme park that consists of 6 other parks, one of them being a water park.
I Spent the whole day playing around in the water and then I see this boy from class and from all the shock decide to hide behind my dad. I was too shy to say hi, so I just moved on. I wonder if he saw me too but we went to a school that was girls-only after 4th grade so I never saw him again."
209 for LuckGiphy
"The street number for my parents' home was #209.
My high school locker number was #209.
First off-campus apt. was #209.
Safe deposit box in the bank vault was #209.
Then, the home I bought was #209."
"I'm from Texas and on a mission trip to Thailand I met a man who knew about my broken toe from about 2 weeks prior. His daughters worked as the athletic trainer at my school and I had gone to see her to see what was wrong. I guess she though someone breaking their toe from kicking someone else was interesting enough to tell her dad."
"I was 5900 miles away from home on a ferry and ran into the parents of one of my students."
In the DM
"I posted a picture of my homecoming outfit on Reddit earlier this fall (homecoming is a football game/dance that happens in the fall for American high schoolers). A couple hours later, I got a DM from some guy saying that he was probably going to come across as super creepy, but he was pretty sure he went to school with me because I looked familiar and our homecoming was on the same day. I asked him what our school mascot and colors were, because I wasn't about to name drop our school, and he immediately got them right.
I know he's a junior and a band kid, but I never asked him who he was. I'd honestly rather stay blissfully ignorant. I never tell anyone my Reddit account because I've opened up here about my self-harm and childhood trauma, so it's weird to think that there's some kid at my school who potentially knows all of that stuff."
"Met a guy from work in Verona, Italy. We were there on a trip just for a couple of hours only.... and I met him there on some random street. That was some crazy butt coincidence."
I was pretty scared
"I met my old football team at an amusement park, which was like 800km from my home. I was really bad at the game and I got a lot of hate from them. I told my friend that I was feeling bad that I need to go rest somewhere. I was behind a restaurant like 2 hours watching youtube. I was pretty scared."
On the busGiphy
"I was on a bus at the airport in Rome, Italy. On the window of the bus was a sticker for the school I was currently attending for my Masters (the school is in the southern United States)."
I Spot With My Eye
"We were on a family vacation in Greece. We met one of my mom's former classmates while standing in line at a local attraction. The thing is, they were classmates in Romania, my mom lived in Hungary and the former classmate lived in the US and they haven't met since graduation. And they both spotted each other in an instant too."
"FB connections ALWAYS get me like that. Seeing friends from completely different circles and contexts that know each other."
2 Days Away
"When I was in Spain for 2 days (from Canada) and ran into my friend on the street, like literally could of ran into her. We both knew we were going to be there, but we both had vastly different schedules, and we both just happened to have an hour free time slot at the same time at the exact same place. It was a fun time."
"I moved 1200 miles away from home after college, and my new weed dealer's mother was practically my neighbor back home."
"What I find interesting about these meet ups is that you both have to be:
- At the same longitude
- At the same latitude
- At the same elevation (think skyscraper vs underground such as subway station vs ground level)
- At the same point in time.
Any of those four criteria do not all line up and the opportunity is gone."
Down the Hall
"Worked at an office with 800+ people. My step mom was talking to a relative in the UK about the fact that her sister's ex-brother-in-law worked in Texas for a company that sounded like the same one I worked for. I looked for his name in the directory and he worked in the next section over from me and I'd pass him in the hall all the time just had no idea who he was!"
From the 6th
"In high school I went on vacation to New Mexico one year and to Maine two years later. I saw the same classmate from elementary school both times. He had also moved across the country after 6th grade."
"I had a fifth grade buddy in kindergarten. I also had a swim instructor. Imagine my uttermost shock when those two were related."
"Not me but I read a story about a woman in the U.S who had a special sweater with her name tag on it when she was young. It went to Goodwill or someplace and I think about 10 years later she was in the middle of Africa in a fairly primitive area and she sees this little kid with the same sweater on as confirmed by the tag."
This happened to my wife
"This happened to my wife.
She was getting her masters degree, and part of it was watching a nurse do a presentation on a baby she helped deliver 26 years before hand. This was done in a hospital on the other side of the US. As the nurse describes the case, my wife realizes that she was the baby this person delivered.
She walks up to the nurse and explained that the baby turned out fine. She literally made chit chat with the nurse who helped bring her here."
"Went on a heli-hiking trip on a glacier in New Zealand and our guide was from the same small town in Washington state that I grew up in."
"Yesterday, me and my friend were talking about developing a game, and he wanted to get as much help as possible to make a game. I happen to have a cousin that develops games, so I told him about my cousin. He had his mind blown when I told him who was my cousin. He told me he met my cousin multiple times and my cousin even worked with his brothers for a while. I said no damn way. Small world eh?"
High School DaysGiphy
"When I move over a thousand kilometers away from my hometown... and still ended up working with someone I went to high school with."
2 Months Later
"I ran it into a family friend in a random bar in the middle of nowhere Colorado. I hadn't met this person yet and we had beers and talked about outdoor stuff. Didn't realize till like 2 months later that he was a close family friend."
"I worked at an American school in Jordan and became really good friends with my roommate who also taught at the school. The school was pretty small, so we were close with most of the other teachers as well. My friend ended up moving back to the states and getting married, but we kept in touch. I started working at another school in Shanghai several years later. We planned to take a trip to Tibet with a group from my school over Spring Break. She came to Shanghai a few days early and one night we went to dinner at a local restaurant.
"As we're enjoying our meal and catching up, I notice a couple that looked oddly familiar. I lean in to my friend and ask her to look. She realizes it's a couple we worked with in Jordan. We remember their names and go say hello. When we go to the table I see that they're sitting with two friends of mine from my current school. Turns out they had worked together at another school. The American school/International school community is very small."
From NJ to FL
"I was moving and driving from NJ to FL, stopped at some random gas station in the middle of no-where South Carolina and had heard someone call my name.
It was an old high school friend from NJ who had moved away years before. No idea he even moved away and we were literally the only 2 cars at the gas station. It was extremely weird but we had a great laugh, chatted for maybe 10 minutes, and we went on our way."
"I studied abroad in the US in my junior year of high school and was placed in a 400-people town somewhere in the midwest. My host family took me to the closest McDonald's one night and I overheard the only other customers speaking my native language. I turned around and it was my brother's elementary school teacher and her husband on a US roadtrip."
On the Mountain
"I'm from Germany so my family and I visited Austria. We were on a 3000m Mountain and suddenly my art teacher stood behind me."
Florida to Moscow
"My brother went to Florida with his friends family. He met this girl there, hung out with her the 2 weeks he was there (with his friend too). About 6 months later he goes to Moscow with my grandfather for a trip to Russia (this was 1991). He's at a shopping plaza near their hotel, who does he see, the same girl from Florida.
A few years back, my family was at the beach with my father-in-law. The waitress at one of the places we stopped for breakfast was my father-in-law's neighbor growing up."
It truly is small world.
The Law Circle
"I went to law school with a woman for 3 years and maybe had 1 class together. We were in the same Bar Prep group. It turned out she went to college 45 minutes from me and was mutual friends with a bunch of my friends from HS who went to the same college."
"Person in my corporation moved to town and joined our site. We were talking, and we figured out that we were both camp councilors at the same camp in a completely different city, only one year apart."
"I grew up in Everett, WA. When I turned 22, I decided that I wanted to hitchhike America. In the beginning of my journey, I was in Sacramento, CA. I got stuck there, living on the streets for a while. I nice guy told me where I can find a good place to sleep for the night. He seemed familiar and genuinely nice. I took his advice and the next day, I was already on my way to LA. After my very, very long journey was over."
"I was 24 and back in Everett, WA. I went to visit a friend one day and just happened to look in his neighbor's window. It was that really nice guy from Sacramento. Turns out we grew up down the street from each other and went to the same high school. This showed my that literally anything can happen and you will never stop being amazed with what paths you take in life, the places and people who come and go on that path."
"Yup. I caught a flight to Sydney from the UK. Took a coach 10 hours up the East Coast. Got off at a random spot and was collected by the hostel owner which was a 30 minute drive to the hostel. It was the first week the hostel was open and wasn't yet advertised. This particular hostel only had room for 10 people at a time. One of the random guests who was staying there worked with and was friends with one of my best friends back in the UK. Small world."
"I met a woman from Belgium at a party and asked her, as a joke, if she knew my childhood friend who had moved there when she was about 12.
Turns out that the lady I met at the party didn't just know my childhood friend, but they were really close friends. party lady even put me and my old school friend back in touch."
"I did my bachelors in the US. I had that person that I had one class with in my freshman year, but never really talked to. Our interaction was limited to awkwardly white man smiling at each other when we walked by each other occasionally."
"I graduate, move to London for my master's. My new uni is pretty elitist, top college usually reserved for a very narrow range of professionals, I have no idea how I got there. It was pure randomness."
"As I leave my first day orientation, I walk by that same f***ing guy in the hallway. And all we do is white people awkward smile at each other."
"I used to travel the world for work. One trip I was drinking with this guy in an airport bar in Texas. A few weeks later, I walk into a restaurant in Maracaibo, Venezuela and I hear 'Hey!!!' It was the bar dude from Texas." -- slider728
"Dude that's wholesome and nifty." -- dawgshizzle
Burying the HatchetGiphy
"Used to pitch softball in the US and had a friendly rivalry with another team pitcher."
"Went on vacation and missed the playoffs as I was in London. I'm checking out the royal museum and run into that pitcher on the day we were supposed to be playing against each other.."
"So we got a beer instead."
Way Back When
"My stepdad was south African. Ran his own business here in the UK. One day a new client comes in, they get chatting, and he notices my dad's South African accent. Says he, too, is originally from SA. Asks my dad where he used to live, and says 'me too !' "
"Comes back in the next day with a photo (black & white - little South African humour there) of a group of kids, aged about 10. Says to my dad, 'This was a birthday party I went to when I was 10.' He points at a boy and says 'that's me.' "
"Then he points at another boy in the photo and says to my dad "that's you." He had a photo of a party my dad had attended something like 40 years ago on another continent, and neither of them knew each other!"
"Coworker always said she liked my house. Turns out her grandparents built the house but had never met her." -- cowboycasanovaa
"I had the same thing happen to me. I was dropping my car off to get serviced, and they asked to verify my address."
One of the lube techs overheard me and asked if the house was between two cross streets. I said it was."
His grandparents had lived there when he was a kid, and he had spent most of his summers there." -- trrwilson
Guess that Guy Likes Fishing VillagesGiphy
"I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon and I moved to a tiny fishing village in Alaska for 7 years on an island with only 2,000 people or so."
"One day I get a call from my dad and step mom because they were on vacation in a small fishing town in Ireland named Cushendall and had run in to someone I knew. Apparently a random person on the street had heard his American accent and asked for some tips on places to stay nearby."
"My dad noticed that he was wearing a hat from the town I lived in and asked if he knew me, and he answered that he had just had dinner with me a few nights before all the way back in Alaska."
"When my sis unexpectedly ran into my aunt, at a hotel restaurant, in ANOTHER country, BOTH on a secret honeymoon trip with their respective SO's..."
"They had somehow booked the same dates to travel to the same country, been on the same flight and stayed at the same hotel."
"Neither of them knew about the other ones travel plans."
An Especially Creepy Line for the Moment
"I had a professor in college that I took evolution and biology with. She started each semester with, 'I know what you all have been doing in the shower' ...science experiments. This was in Florida."
"I was in Germany a few years later on vacation and I was in a bravarian castle when I see that same professor. I went up to her and she thought it was a joke that her family had put me up to until I said, 'I know what you're doing in the shower.' "
"I made a crappy meme for one of the subReddits with a picture I had taken. Put it up for a few hours without much of anything happening with it and took it down."
"About a week later in surfing Facebook and seen the exact picture shared by both my sister and step grandmother. Neither of them had a clue I had anything to do with it."
"I went on holiday near the Everglades in Florida many years ago. I support an English football (soccer) team called Scunthorpe United. We're not really good and we are in the fourth division of English football, we're not like Manchester United."
"Me and my parents stayed in a holiday home, and so we went to buy some groceries at the local Walmart one evening. So I go round one of the aisles - and there is a kid wearing a Scunthorpe shirt!"
"Yep, of all the shirts of a sports team, there is a kid walking around with my team's shirt on. I was just ecstatic to say the least."
"Reddit user Shinfekta asked: 'What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?'"
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big DealIllustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy
"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
"Never admitting a mistake."
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
AfterthoughtSad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
BehaviorAndre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Talk to MeSarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy
"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.
Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.
One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823Cats Dragging GIFGiphy
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
Good Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
On A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
What About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
Or Two Sets Of Twins
"Armadillos always have offspring as quadruplets."
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
Who's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence
We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.
But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.
Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:
"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"
Time for an Upgrade
"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."
"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."
"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."
No More Spark
"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."
"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."
"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."
"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"
"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"
Misery Loves Company
"Now we are both broken."
"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."
Getting to Watch a Partner Grow
"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."
"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."
"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."
"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."
"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."
"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."
Not a Match
"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."
"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."
In Their Nature
"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."
"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."
The Importance of Boundaries
"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."
"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."
Happily Ever After
"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."
An Uncommon Ending
"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."
"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."
A Little Help from Our Friends
"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."
"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."
All Their Idea
"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."
A Helping Hand
"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."
"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."
"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."
"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."
"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."
"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."
Best Friends Forever
"It went well but it didn’t work out."
"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."
"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."
"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."
So Worth the Investment
"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."
"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."
"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."
"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."
"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."
In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.
There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.