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Listen, we're gonna be straight up with you. The job market sucks. Interviews (when you can get them) can be nerve-wracking, and they tend to end with one final question... the dreaded "do you have any questions for us?"

What are you even supposed to say there!?!


In theory the interview process should have covered pretty much everything, and if we're honest that question always makes us feel put on the spot. Turns out we're not the only ones, but that's ok because Reddit has provided us with a handy dandy cheat sheet courtesy of this thread:

What's the worst and best answer when asked in a job interview "Do you have any questions for us?"

Whip out your phones to take notes, kiddos. It turns out there are definitely some wrong answers.

Policy Check

How strict is your sexual harassment policy?

- WhenAllElseFail

I actually think this is a solid question after working in retail & fast food with some slimey guys & companies that don't want to go through the trouble of rectifying a harassment issue.

It's frustrating as a guy having to work in a place where female coworkers ask you to stick around not because of customers but because of terrible male coworkers/supervisors.

- A_R_K_S

OK But Parking Is Expensive

Best: what does a successful candidate look like in six months?

Worst: Do you validate parking?

- DragoWonInRealLife

Body Language

I always ask about the office culture. You can tell a lot from both the response and how the interviewer reacts to the question. If it's a toxic environment, their body language is probably going to show it, no matter what verbal answer they give.

- CallieEnte

Done Some Research

Giphy

This is a good time to show you have done some research before the interview, ask them about the last big posting, merger etc.

It makes a huge difference when interviewing if someone can talk to you about the companies history etc.

- N3ROISM

A List

I work in Human Resources for state government and we have a resource on our website for these questions:

What to ask:

  1. Will you describe for me what a typical day or week might be like in this job?
  2. What qualities do successful employees in this job possess?
  3. What are the upward and lateral career paths identified for this position?
  4. Are training opportunities available to help me continuously enhance my skill set?
  5. What role does this job have in achieving the organization's goals and objectives?
  6. What are some of the more challenging issues I would face in this job?

What not to ask:

  1. "How soon can I be promoted into a position like yours?"
  2. "How much vacation time will I get and when?"
  3. "I have small children at home. Are you flexible with my start time?"

Do not ask about compensation and benefits until you are offered the job.

Also, the note about the last bit isn't really applicable everywhere. Compensation and benefits info is already made available to the public on the state website so it's more of a waste of time if you ask about it and didn't look it up yourself. In most other situations you should absolutely be asking about compensation and benefits.

- tinypeopleinthewoods

All Set

I interview a lot of people (and coach them on interviewing), and I think one of the worst is, "No, I think I'm all set!" Along with that, questions that are very narrow or self-serving instead of big picture/exploring how you can add value.

Best would include questions about direction the company is heading, current challenges they face, why the interviewer loves working there, etc.

- CharlieGR90

Trump Tweets

Best: Ask specific questions about the workplace, business, industry, indicating you've done research and want to become a part of the company.

Worst: Talk like Trump tweets and focus entirely on yourself.

- DarthContinent

Why You?

"Why should I work for you?"

If you have the skills to get an interview with a firm, you have the skills to get an interview with their competition. Why should you work for them? What's your incentive not to take a similar job at their closest competitor?

Employers want you to think that you need them more than they need you. Sometimes that's the case, and if it is, take the fucking job. However, if the incentive to work for the firm is just a paycheck, there are going to be serious organizational/cultural issues in that workplace, guaranteed.

- 0xD153A53

Community Resources

"What is your policy on acceptance of LGBTQ+ people and what resources are available for that community?"

- CharlesH29

Don't "Just Say No"

Giphy

Seriously, the worst answer is "no". It makes you look kinda dumb. If all your questions were answered say "I was going to ask you about X and Y but we covered that already." But you should always have questions prepared for the end, always.

It's the last impression you make, the one that the interview will likely remember the best. Don't say "uh, no".

- -_Rabbit_-

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Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

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