A first date is exciting. But it can also be highly unnerving.
You just want it to go so well.
So what do you wear?
What do say?
How little do eat and how much do you drink?
But that ice breaker is important. And the dialogue is imperative.
So what do we talk about?
Redditor AspirinDontWorkOnMewanted to discuss the best beginners for small talk when on an early romantic excursion. They asked:
"What are some good questions to ask on a first date?"
Are you crazy? That's my first date question. I can always tell by the answer.
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“Who makes you laugh?”
"This was my speed dating question back in the day, and it sorted out the wheat from the chaff VERY quickly."
"What unresolved childhood trauma will emerge through maladaptive behaviors as we spend more time together?"
"To be fair anyone who has a legitimate answer to this one is probably already actively working to improve themselves which could be a huge green flag. Unless they're aware and not working on it in which case run."
Ok. So I went on a date with a girl... she unloaded all her past trauma in me... then proceeded to get really drunk and make a move on me."
"What is their opinion on raccoons? Specifically would they be upset if they found out, the person they were dating was actually several raccoons piloting an elaborate human suit. If the answer is yes, it’s is a red flag and you will need to tell Burt and Larry down in the legs to hoof it out of there as fast as possible. Remember to grab as much trash as you can on the way out. It is why we were there to begin with."
"Ask open-ended, non-threatening questions that get them talking about topics they enjoy. You learn much more about someone when they’re comfortable than when they feel scrutinized. Also, realize that the questions you ASK say as much about you as the answers you give."
"Your fears, hangups, history, empathy, etc. For example, if someone asked me how much I earn or what my parents did for a living, I would reasonably surmise that money and perhaps status is important to them. [That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a useful piece of information.]"
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"What's your second favorite reptile?"
"My question would be more, what’s your second favourite dinosaur? I work with young children, I have a modest working knowledge of dinosaurs."
Interesting ideas. If I ever search for love again I may use a few.
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"So, you married?"
"Do you slap the bags of rice at the grocery store?"
"Are you a cop?"
"What’s on your bucket list?"
"When I was dating, I used to really like asking what people were excited about coming up in their lives. I'm a very optimistic person. I'm highly sensitive to negativity, pessimism, and cynicism. While it's not the ONLY way to get insight into how positive someone is, asking this question gives some insight into their overall mindset. Plus it's a good way to have a conversation about something someone is excited about. Win-win."
"Wanna see how high I can jump?"
"A girl asked 'do you think I can jump this puddle?' I said no but she jumped anyway and slipped back into it so her back was entirely mud. Also, I drove."
"Look! Look! Look at me! Look what I can do! Look!"
"What is the biggest mammal you could knock out with one punch?"
"The answer to this question is clearly the horse-sized duck. In accordance with the square-cube law, the horse-sized duck's tiny legs would collapse under it's newfound weight, rendering it severely injured if not completely immobile. I'd pretty much win by default."
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"Can I get a list of references?"
Ah first dates... will they ever be easy? Shouldn't they be?
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We are a quote heavy, self-help speeching society.
We thirst for leadership because honestly... life is dark and depressing.
How many books, speeches, essays and small "on the daily" quotes do we follow and take to heart?
Do you research every author of every quote?
You should. Or maybe you shouldn't.
Redditorcow780wanted to hear some inspiration from the worst people possible. They asked:
"Reddit, what are some great quotes by terrible people?"
Just because someone has wisdom, insight and charm doesn't mean they're kind. Evil comes in all packages.
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“'Do not compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.'”
"'Believe in yourself, and you can accomplish anything your heart desires.'"
"- Adolf Hitler"
"'To progress again, man must remake himself. And he cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. In order to uncover his true visage he must shatter his own substance with heavy blows of his hammer.'"
"In the context of self-improvement it's a great quote about pushing limits and enduring pain or discomfort in order to grow. However the author of the quote Alexis Carrel was not speaking about improvement of the individual, but of humanity as a whole through eugenics and forced sterilisation of criminals, disabled people, and other 'undesirables.'"
“'Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.'- Bill Cosby"
"Great quote until you realize that with modern context it's kinda disturbing."
“'Faith moves mountains, but only knowledge moves them to the right place.' - Joseph Goebbels"
"The dude has SO many good quotes. Joseph Goebbels is what happens at the intersection of wisdom and evil."
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"'You can get far with a smile. You will get further with a smile and a gun' - Al Capone"
The villains always get the best lines.
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"'My whole life I have suffered from poverty and have faced many disappointments and pain, like a man is used to. That is why I want to make other people happy and want them to feel at home.' - Jim Jones"
"'Women hold up half the sky' - Mao Zedong"
"My dad used to play that song when I was little. I always thought the line was, 'if you go carrying pictures of Trem and Mao.' I always thought there was some other guy named trem that I had just not learned about in school yet."
"Mao killed 80 million of his own people and there are statues of him all over China."
"Stalin- 'A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths are a statistic.'"
"Another one by Stalin, often paraphrased as 'It's not who votes that counts, it's who counts the votes.'"
"'I consider it completely unimportant who in the party will vote, or how; but what is extraordinarily important is this—who will count the votes, and how.'"
"'Expectations ruin relationships' - Michelle Duggar"
"This one stuck with me and then I started to notice the most unhappy people I know are the ones with the most or highest expectations of others."
"American hero worship is the worst thing. We have to lie about all, of amerikan history because our little snowflakes would melt learning the truth in school. Once you acknowledge that everyone is flawed, it's easier to accept reality."
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"'You gotta remember, if we're all God then we're all the Devil too.' -Charles Manson"
Even the worst and most of us is can be brilliant. That's why evil can be hard to catch and easy to follow.
"Thoughts and prayers." Those are the two main things doled out immediately in the wake of a mass shooting in the United States.
Let's face it. While platitudes are all well and good, they are merely a contrivance to fill the silence that has stunned devastated communities.
As many American citizens call for stricter gun legislation, there are just as many who advocate for their right to the Second Amendment.
How has this become the polarizing issue in the country while many other parts of the world maintain peace–presumably due to citizens not having the right to bear arms?
Genuinely curious to hear from a specific demographic, Redditor Wonderful-Wash-2145 asked:
"To the Americans who don’t agree with changing the gun laws? Why?"
People shared their informed opinions in great detail.
When Gun Advocates Lack Common Sense Or Knowledge
"I live in a state, California, which has all of the gun laws that people are asking for and then some. While our gun violence isn't as high as a lot of other states, it was already rapidly trending downward before our biggest laws, like our 'Assault Weapons' ban passed. And we've still had our share of mass shootings. With the laws in place it's easy to see why they're ineffective."
"Assault Weapons ban? Because the only thing separating an AR-15 from any other semi-automatic rifle are ergonomic features like the stock and grip, AR-15s and similar rifles are still sold here, just with those features swapped out for less comfortable alternatives."
"'Universal' Background Checks? What people don't realize is that every gun store around the country has to run background checks on buyers already, 'Universal' means that private sellers have to do that too. How is that accomplished? The buyer and seller have to meet at a gun shop so the gun shop can run the background check. The problem is, there's nothing to stop someone from just NOT doing that. If you want to sell a gun to your best friend, there's nothing stopping you from doing it in the comfort of your own home, no paperwork required. So universal background checks aren't universal, they're voluntary but if people called them voluntary background checks, it would be too self-evident that they're not much of a solution."
"Before people say 'Well one state having those laws is ineffective because people can just buy from another state.' No, that's not legal. You can only legally buy a gun in the state in which you reside. Do people still do it? Yes, people break the law by buying from private sellers, which more laws wouldn't prevent."
"Americans buy 15 Million guns a year from dealers, who knows how many are purchased from private sellers. Countries like Australia where gun control has been effective only had a few million guns in their whole country, much less the hundreds of millions that the US has."
"The reason gun nuts oppose 'common sense' gun control is that a prerequisite for common sense is common knowledge, and it's rare for gun control advocates to have knowledge of both firearms and the laws that currently regulate them in pro gun control states like California."
In The Absence Of Enforcement
"And, a lot of the existing laws aren't enforced. Domestic abusers are supposed to surrender their arms are rarely do and the police rarely follow up, for example. I saw a thread yesterday where someone cited 27,000 known firearms holders that were illegal that law enforcement didn't do anything about."
Weak arguments were also presented.
"So why not make guns have to be registered the way cars are? If I want to sell my car to my friend, I have to fill out paperwork to tell the state that the title for that car is being transferred to my friend. Can’t we do the same for guns?"
A Salesman's Statistic
"I sell auto insurance. Do you know how often someone comes in to insure a vehicle they purchased but never put into their name? Literally like 5 times a weeks if not more."
"A big problem with anything regulatory is how ripe it is to be exploited for the person doing the regulations. A lot of gun control measures have to be enforced by someone and if that person is racist, guess who gets the regulations enforced against them more often? It's still a policing issue when at the core a large group of people simply can't trust the police, and now this is putting both parties in an even more dangerous position."
The thread continued sparking a lengthy discussion about gun culture.
A Slippery Slope
"I think one of the concerns that people are thinking about is that the 'gun reform' movement is a stomach that can't ever be satisfied, meaning, they are always going to ask for more ways to reform guns until eventually people won't get to have any. And I think people who are against gun reform know that 'gun reform' is a slippy slope to banning guns outright and overturning the 2nd Amendment."
What's The Point?
"Governments do not care about their people. Look at selling drugs to the black community, poisoning alcohol during prohibition, anti-privacy laws, I could go on but there's no need to fill paragraphs of these things. And we're supposed to hand over our tools of self-defense and expect the government to protect us? The same government that just sat there outside the Uvalde school?"
"And how are they going to get guns out of the hands of criminals anyway? A good chunk of these shooters are already using guns they can't legally own. If they try to completely get rid of firearms through a 'war on guns' in the same way they've waged a 'war on drugs' for decades, then the amount of illegal, untraceable firearms is only going to go up with every passing decade."
The Challenge Of Regulating Culture
"I think people are dancing around a core point here as well: you cannot legislate culture."
"Say we do implement just the most severe of gun laws and, miracle beyond miracles, they are 100% effective. Alright, so if I want to hurt a bunch of people en masse and guns are out of the question what do I do? What about just running a van through a crowd? What about some improvised explosive devices? Knives?"
"People think guns are the problem, but they are just a very convenient tool by which the problem expresses itself. I’ve lived in many of the so-called 'safe countries' with strong gun laws. In some respects, they are indeed safer, but it’s because the laws reflect a pre-existing cultural sentiment. This also doesn’t mean random mass violence doesn’t happen. I’m going to use Japan here because that’s a country I spent a long time in: there were the famous sarin gas attacks in 1994, also a murderer who drove a vehicle through a crowd in Akihabara (early 2000’s, I believe), and a lot more public stabbing sprees than you’d expect. One even happened a few stations down from me while living there and three little girls on their way to school died. It’s more of historical crime now, but there was also an early 1900’s mass shooting where a man, rejected by local women, decided to cut off power in his local village and systematically execute everyone in their sleep before blowing his own head off at dawn."
"The effort needs to be put into why we seem to have so many disaffected people who are so far gone that mass shootings seem like a reasonable consideration. Gun laws are ultimately just a bandaid fix and, because a good portion of the U.S. is culturally attuned to firearms in a positive way, it’s a bandaid fix that one would have to fight tooth and nail for."
"It would be an inefficient fight and even absolute victory would just result in a half measure. I oppose gun laws for precisely the same reason I oppose the war on drugs; it’s a fight that will never end just by slapping on new policies. Generations of legislators and activists will commit to it and unfathomable amounts of tax dollars will be dumped into it and in 30 years we will still be asking ourselves the same fundamental questions about our safety."
"The uncomfortable reality, at least from where I sit, is that a lasting solution is going to have to be proactive, play the long game, and be willing to figure out what has gone so wrong in our social makeup as to push people to random acts of mass violence."
"And even then, there will still just be psychopaths beyond salvaging and reincorporating into functional society."
"I also know people will want to just say 'no, more just gun laws' or 'this is all the fault of capitalism' etc. etc. but I think those who hold these simplistic, one-note positions are fooling themselves into thinking that this is as easy as identifying the sole 'big bad thing' and then destroying it. As a historian, I can guarantee you that it’s never just one factor at play.'
"I couldn’t agree more that Americans need a more proactive and preventative approach to this issue. But I think guns are just the patsy boogeyman that is simple and comfortable to place blame on. If Americans choose to fight that fight, then so be it, but I maintain that it will be long and ineffectual. In the mean time, more will die and we can all happily believe we are doing something about it."
What Is It About America?
"I get 'gun culture'. But why is the US more violent?"
I think madmen and people that commit acts of random violence are basically the same % in every country. Difference is that if a mad men in my country comes at a supermarket with a knife, he might kill one or two people but he will get tackled."
"Taking a car trough a crowd, been there. That's a different animal, is terrorism."
The thread was full of debates with pro-gun activists presenting their case and anti-gun advocates responding with arguments.
It's an endless discussion that has no resolve in sight.
So now what? What are your thoughts and suggestions that would promote a compromise or solution about gun control?
In society, the word sociopath is sometimes tossed out as an insult. Other times, it's used to describe a person in a non-malicious way but is used incorrectly.
What is a sociopath, really? Sociopaths are people who suffer from a personality disorder that leads to a lack of empathy and a conscience. These people are generally self-aware, and can mimic human emotions, but don't have any of their own.
A sociopath convention would be groups of people in which there are many sociopaths or groups of people that are entirely comprised of sociopaths.
Statistically, 1 in 25 people is a sociopath, meaning any large group could count as a sociopath convention. However, there are groups that are generally considered full of sociopaths.
Those groups were identified when Redditor GoGetEmTiger131 asked:
"What place might as well be a “sociopath convention?"
"A child pageant — the parents"
"Came here to say this exact thing, I'm so surprised this doesn't have more up votes."
"I mean statistically some of those kids must be sociopaths too, right?"
You're The Top
"sociopaths surround themselves with less powerful people, in my experience. you might find them at the top of nearly any organization, though."
"Supposedly they make up the majority of CEOs"
"I stayed at an airport hotel and the conference room was booked for "How to create a submissive Christian wife" or something like that. There was a low tooth-to-head ratio and a distinct lack of chins."
"I've read a lot of weird stuff, but this made my jaw drop a little."
We Voted Them In
"Any place where politicians gather."
"How is this so far down the list?"
"There probably isn't a larger gathering of sociopathic narcissists than a joint session of the US Congress."
"I was gonna say the DNC and RNC."
"I knew this would be at the top but honestly I think there would be more sociopaths at social media influencer convention. That or “life coaches.”"
"I knew two diagnosed sociopaths at my high school. Both became life coaches. I get heavy Manson vibes from their content."
"When a group of MLM huns get together in any location on the planet."
"Now let's talk about ways to manipulate family and friends to increase sales and even recruit your own worker bees!"
Reddit, Of Course!
"Damn roasted an entire platform"
The Whole State
"That place is so unbelievably vapid and just odd as hell. It makes Vegas seem reasonable"
"I was just gonna say Florida."
"Florida. All of it."
Become An Alpha
"We had a local "Alpha Con" here recently. I swear the promo poster was the biggest group of tools I've ever seen.
Edit : turns out it wasn't local. I am even more disgusted. Clearly I didn't do a lot of research into it."
"Literally any gathering of men where the word “Alpha” is used unironically at any point."
Learning Who You Are
"That’s, it just school."
Well, statistically, that tracks.
Believe it or not, many household items can be hazardous. Some household products, like oven cleaner, contain hazardous chemicals that could really harm you–or even kill you–if used incorrectly.
Oven cleaners often have a high pH, making them alkaline corrosives.
Oven cleaner can cause burns or irritation of any exposed tissue, whether that is the mouth, skin, eyes, or airway. And if swallowed, as the National Capital Poison Center points out, "oven cleaners can cause vomiting and burns to the lips, mouth, throat, and further down in the digestive tract, like the food pipe and stomach."
That will make you think twice, huh?
But oven cleaners are far from the only potentially hazardous objects in your home. People told us more when Redditor Cool_Kid_Lit_Fam asked the online community,
"What household object do most people not realize, that if used incorrectly, could easily kill them?"
"The two most common types of accidental death in the home are falls in bathtubs and from ladders."
Are you telling me that I should stop showering on top of a ladder?
"Dryers when you don’t clean the lint trap."
Dryer lint is great for starting campfires! Throw some wads in your kindling and you've got an easy fire... which should be a big clue!
"If it falls..."
"Car jack. If it fails and you didn't use jack stands, and you can't bench press a couple thousand pounds..... you gonna die."
To say the least!
Safety is cool, friends. Don't take it for granted.
"I feel like..."
"I feel like it’s surprising that most people don’t know that you can’t put out a grease fire with water."
Many fires start this way – and get worse because people don't know what they should do.
"When my dad was a kid..."
"When my dad was a kid, one of his good friends died by inhaling Pam cooking spray. The boy was a good, smart kid and just thought inhaling Pam would get you a little high, like sniffing a Sharpie or whatever."
"But Pam coats your lungs and very quickly suffocates you if you breathe it in. He had no idea how dangerous it was and he was dead in minutes. It was absolutely devastating for everyone who knew him."
Very important. A tragedy for everyone involved. Sorry for your dad's loss.
"Bleach and other cleaners accidentally mixed together."
This is a big one. Never mix – the consequences can be deadly.
"Had a friend of the family..."
"Oven cleaner. Had a friend of the family use it on a warm oven and breathed it in. Messed up her lungs and died in hospital."
That's a genuinely useful piece of information. This sounds like something I'd have done without even considering it...
"Unsecured free-standing shelves are pretty dangerous, especially for kids who might try to climb on them."
Kids get hurt or die in accidents involving free-standing shelves all the time. You don't want your child to be one of them.
"My brother's father in law died falling off a ladder. He wasn’t even high up, just fell badly. His wife (a nurse) tried CPR, but he didn’t make it. He had no other health problems."
Condolences. This is so tragic. A warning to us all.
"Anything that can..."
"Wet floors, usually bathrooms. Anything that can make hitting your head easier can kill."
Falling in the bathroom is a big fear of mine. Thanks for the reminder.
You're probably going to be much more careful now than you were before, aren't you?
Good – now get out there and warn all your friends. You can't be too careful.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!